Chapter 22

He had enough of the ghosts past and as the Captain was about to leave the holodeck, he realized he was beginning to understand what Kirk had been trying to tell him. An idea spread through his mind and soul and turning back once more to face the interior of the room he made up his mind what he had to do.

"Computer, recreate the quarters that Captain Kirk occupied here on the Enterprise during his stay. I want to be located in the corridor just outside those quarters, Stardate, 49045.3."

The holodeck gave way to a perfect representation of the Enterprise corridors on deck five. Picard leaned his head closer to the door and was able to hear Kirk's log entry just as he was completing it.

"Who is there left to remember us? I'm not so sure I wouldn't change things if I had the chance."

Picard lightly touched the call button outside the closed doors.

"Come," came the steady answer.

As Picard walked though the doors, Kirk jumped up, eyes wide and unbelieving.

"You're back? I can't believe it."

"No Captain. I'm afraid that isn't what has happened. Sit down please. I'll try to explain it all to you." Both men sat facing each other. Kirk seemed very anxious and a little unnerved. Picard began, "once again this is a holodeck generated situation."

"What are you talking about Picard?"

"Give me a minute to explain. You and I were eventually able to exchange places, righting the situation, which had taken place, and put things back in order. After you were gone I listened to all the log entries you had recorded. I decided to recreate this scene in order to have a chance to talk to you once again. After all we never even had the chance to talk much less to say goodbye."

Kirk stood up and walked to the expanse of window, looking out at the stars. He shoulders stooped, "So all this ends, and I go back to being nothing but a historical figure.

Picard paused before answering, trying to find the right words. "Yes it ends, but I would never consider you just a historical figure. You are a role model that every Starfleet officer holds in respect. You represent all things each one of us strives for. You accomplished much in your life. You made history rewrite itself more then once. Both Starfleet and Earth owe much to you. You had a most successful life. I don't know much about your personal life Captain, but your professional life has always been a model I have respected."

"But I end," pushed Kirk.

"You end within this program, yes."

Staying faced away from Jean-Luc, he continued. "You're a lucky man, Picard."

"Lucky? That's the second time you have told me I am lucky. Why am I lucky?"

Kirk turned and smiled at Picard. "Because you still have the chance to change things."

Picard thought briefly about the words Kirk had just spoken. "What do you think I should change, Captain?"

Kirk had an almost desperate look on his face. "Don't you get anything Picard?" Are you so tied up in all of this," Kirk went on, spreading his arms, "you think you're immortal?"

Shaking his head in denial, Picard stood up and paced around the room, "Of course I don't think I'm immortal. I've never believed my life is endless. There have been many times I have been faced with death. In each of those times, knowing the end was little more then a heartbeat away I faced them without any trace of regret. I have no sense of 'what might have been'. I've always known who I am, and what is my life path, and what will be my destiny."

"Yes, exactly and in each of those times you have been able to cheat that death. By now if you're anything like me, you'll consider yourself very near indestructible. But let me tell you Picard, sooner or later you lose. And when you lose, the biggest shock will be to you."

Picard stood unaware his hands were clenched tightly in a solid fist and continued his denial. "I've never been afraid of death," he insisted staunchly.

Kirk grinned and with a knowing glance he went on, "Oh no? Wasn't it you who made a deal with the devil himself for another chance? A devil named 'Q'?"

Picard's chin went out defiantly. His shoulders pushed back and standing ramrod straight he replied, "I know of no deal with the devil. There was no compromise on my part. How do you have knowledge of 'Q'?"

Kirk smiled at Picard. "Beverly told me much about you. She cares very deeply for you. You didn't know that did you Picard?"

Jean-Luc pulled on the tunic of his uniform and looked decidedly uneasy. "Dr. Crusher and I have a close friendship, nothing more."

Kirk narrowed his eyes, his voice taking on a decidedly belligerent tone. "Picard do you understand anything I have tried to get through to you, or are you so stubborn, so self- righteous to think nothing of what I'm saying?"

"I understand, be assured, Kirk. I say again, I hold no regrets of my life," and with that Jean-Luc paced evenly in front of Kirk.

"Jean-Luc, I cannot make you understand or even try to force you to change your ways." Kirk spoke wearily. "I have just spoken to two of my dearest friends, whose lives continue, long after mine was thought to have ended. One is hidden away merely existing sorrowfully enduring his last years alone. The other one, thanks to you and your Enterprise, is continuing to once more devote his life to Starfleet, just as I did."

Kirk paused and took a deep breath. "Dammit man, you are here talking to a holodeck illusion, instead of going on with your life. Don't try to escape from reality captain, sooner or later it has an uncanny ability of rearing its ugly head. Make every day of your life a celebration. Live each moment like it was your last, because it just might be. Open your heart and let down the facade. Dispense with the oh so perfect illusion or you might as well die right now." Kirk was close to yelling. His hands were clenched and his jaw muscles were throbbing visibly.

Picard stood there with his mind and heart opening, accepting what Kirk was trying to say. Like a lightning bolt, acceptance seared into the core of his being and he was able to grasp the meaning of the events of the past several days. His chest heaving, eyes burning, he murmured, "That's exactly what my brother said to me the last time I saw him." It was difficult to him to speak, but he went on, "He was right. I understand my dreams."

Picard bowed his head trying to regain his composure. In time he looked up to see Kirk staring out at the stars rushing by. "I wish I had it within my power to allow all this to continue, Captain. I am sorry."

At that moment, the door chimed. Kirk smiled, "That's my date, Picard."

Jean-Luc matched his grin. "I'll leave. Thank you Captain, I know what I have to do."

Kirk walked towards the door, past Picard, "Then it was all worth it Captain."

Just as Kirk reached the door, Picard haltingly whispered, "Computer, end program." Seconds went by and standing alone in the vacant holodeck, the Captain closed his eyes for several minutes until, "Computer, present location of Dr. Beverly Crusher?"

"Dr. Crusher is presently in her quarters." Picard took one last deep breath, turned and strode confidently to the exit. Just before he stepped over the threshold he turned to face the interior of the holodeck, and saluted the empty space and sighed, "Thank you, Captain Kirk."

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