Disclaimer: See the prologue. The song is Skater Boy by Avril Lavigne

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: R/J

When it's Raining

Chapter 1---Bottled Up Inside (Her)

"he wanted her...she'd never tell, but...secretly she wanted him as well..."

Rory knew where it had all started...at least, for her. With that one simple kiss. Despite the rain, and the ever-nearing semi-darkness of twilight, Rory sat on a bench. The liquid ice seeped through her thin skirt, piercing her skin with cold, and she began to reminisce.

~~~

Seeing him standing there at the wedding, handsome as ever, his calm face seemingly waiting for a reaction, his dark eyes boring holes in her own, set something off again. She felt her mouth go dry. She swallowed and tried to ignore the warmth shooting through her, the weakness in her knees. She tried to focus on her other prominent emotion. Confusion.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you, too." He replied calmly, not directly answering the question. Rory just continued to stare at him, stunned that he was actually standing there, his eyes sparkling in the golden afternoon glory that was shining through the trees, glittering on the water.

"Is everything OK?" Rory tried, thinking of possible reasons why he was back.

Jess just stood there, ignoring the question, a trace of a smirk on his face as he bluntly looked her up and down. Another shiver ran down her spine, and her heart began to pound as he stated his approval. "You look nice."

Rory felt unable to put together a coherent thought. Lately, she had felt like this when he simply glanced at her. But she always managed a quick response. So she had to say the only thing she could think of to keep the conversation going, to buy time.

"Thank you. What are you doing here?"

"I moved back," Jess told her. Rory just looked at him, still trying to piece together some of the many words that were flying around in her head. It didn't help that the only words she could think of were 'hot' and 'lust'. Finally, after what had seemed to her like hours, she was able to untangle a few words from the mess in her mind.

"But...what? Why?" she blabbered, silently cursing her lack of ability to speak in full sentences.

"Just...wanted to," he said, still with an unusually peaceful look cast upon his features. He looked at her with a simple glance, that, from him, spoke volumes. Rory felt as if her knees were about to give out. She didn't know what to do. She was overwhelmed with that feeling, and suddenly, she couldn't stand the space between them. Among green leaves with gold halos, upon grasses that swayed and bent around their feet, Rory grabbed Jess's face between her hands and kissed him. She felt his hands come up to cup her face. His woodsy cologne combined with a faint cigarette smell drew her in, intoxicating her every thought with him.

She lost herself in his mouth for those few seconds, letting her body rest against his. He was gentle, his mouth soft and oddly sweet. Her skin burned wherever he touched, leaving a trail of heat in his hands' wake. As he brought them down to her waist, she was suddenly snapped back to reality. She thought of Dean. And her mother. And she pulled away bluntly and suddenly. Fear replaced desire and overtook her senses. She reeled back away from him. "Oh My God, Oh My God."

"Rory-" Jess began, looking at her with a small sense of understanding, and with a touch of hurt. She stared. Rory couldn't deal with this now. Sookie was getting married, she had to walk down the aisle. She had to act like nothing happened. She had to kiss Dean and try not to compare. She had to ignore the desire still pounding through her veins, bubbling in her blood. She couldn't let anyone know. Not now. Not yet. 

"Don't say a word!" she ordered, her words panicky, her voice unnaturally high and shrill.

Jess looked at her with hurt that she didn't notice. "OK." Whatever she told him to do, he would do it. And then she ran like a small child, hair flying, limbs flailing in every direction. And then she remembered one last thing.

"Welcome home!" she called back, trying to smile at him, attempting to make everything right, everything normal. Jess gave her a half smile before she turned around, and he turned away. Rory ran to find her mother. She never saw Jess again that day. She didn't see or remember his crestfallen and confused expression, or the plain desire still written in his eyes. All she saw before she took off was a single butterfly, flapping its wings gently and sporadically, landing on the branch closest to Jess. And she saw the sun shining through the cove of trees, still casting a golden halo over all things green. And the pond sparkling and rippling in the summer breeze. It was magic. The kiss was magic. But, she had told herself, magic is sometimes an illusion. The passion she felt from him could have been wished, or made up, or pretended. It took her too long after to realize, or maybe just recognize, that the passion of that kiss was no illusion.

~~~

Rory sighed as she looked back on this kiss, returned to real world by the speeding car and the huge splash that immediately followed. She ignored the ever-darkening sky, the rain in her shoes, the drizzle caressing her face. She just remembered the kiss. What a kiss. It had been perfect. But perfection only occurs for a moment in time. Then it disappears.

~~~

Following the days after the kiss, Rory had avoided Jess at all costs. She didn't want to bring the kiss up again. It was only a reminder of what she knew she was not allowed to have. So against her heart, and following her mind, she had stayed with Dean. Jess soon realized it had been a once-in-a-lifetime lapse of judgment. Despite the fact that the memory haunted his dreams, he tried to forget. Their relationship remained platonic, and they reverted to their old ways, bantering and teasing, and flirting from time to time. It never went beyond that, although both Luke and Lorelai continued to notice that both of them always wanted more from the relationship.

Rory went to Washington with Paris, and came back to find Jess hanging out with various other people, some guys and some girls. They didn't spend as much time together, except for their diner chats. Rory tried her hardest to forget the passionate kiss and ignore the fact that there was none of it when she kissed Dean. She simply moved on. And she remembered the day when she knew he had too.

It was a winter day, and snow flurries were beginning, floating down like bits of diamond lace, piling up powdery and soft. Chimney smoke was floating from every chimney top, creating a strong smell in the air that was distinctly winter. Rory had walked passed the diner, and on impulse, decided to stop in for a coffee. Her life had been hectic, with senior year, midterms, and everything with Dean, and she wanted to talk to Jess. They had come to rely on their chats with each other to get through the tougher days. She stopped short, however, when she saw Jess lean over the counter and kiss a familiar-looking girl sitting on a bar stool.

The girl was raven-haired, and wore piercing green eyes tinged with bits of turquoise on her graceful face. She was slender and tall, wearing low jeans with a fitted long sleeved tee that revealed some of her toned midriff. The girl had an intoxicating beauty that Rory told herself she could never compete with. And that's when she realized that he had moved on. She read a caring in his eyes that had once been reserved for her. This was also the first time she realized that she didn't want him to. She wanted him all for herself.  The memories of the kiss from months ago came rushing back. She tried to push the thoughts away, but she couldn't. Overwhelmed with passion and jealousy, she stormed into the diner.

White-faced, she sat at the opposite end of the counter. Jess sauntered over, unknowing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered as soon as he reached her. Jess studied her for a minute, knowing what she was talking about.

"About Brielle? I didn't think you would care." He told her with disarming frankness. "I mean, you have your Bag Boy and all."

"No...I just...thought friends should tell each other this kind of thing," she told him, feeling hot liquid collecting behind her eyelids. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Are you guys...uhh...serious?" she asked him, willing the sudden jealousy not to show up in her eyes.

"Just as serious as you and Bag Boy." He told her with a smirk.

Rory couldn't even come up with a response. She simply nodded as Jess poured her a mug and left her sitting there. She supposed this was fate's way of paying her back.

~~~

Breaking out of her reverie, Rory found herself on the bench again, instead of years into the past. She sighed. The rain showed no sign of letting up, and she still had time before it was completely dark. She needed all the time she could buy. After all, rain brings up quite the story to remember. She curled up on the bench, draping her long arms around herself to keep warm.  Rory felt ridiculous, mulling over memories of a man that fate obviously didn't want her to be with. Little did Rory know, fate would eventually twist and bend in her favor.