Love and War
Jaina Solo stretched out with her sense to the area around her. Nothing but trees and creatures. Their occupation on Endor was only to last a few days. Endor was one of the few planets that hadn't fallen to Vong conquest. She opened up her eyes and survived the planet above her. It was on this moon that her parents had fought a winning victory for the alliance.
Jaina stretched out with the Force a bit more. She could feel her mother's heart wrenching. She could hear her mother's thoughts and feel her mother's pain. Jaina's own heart wrenched. Her parents had their horror war stories and now she had hers. Her brothers were dead as well as her long time guardian and friend, Chewbacca. Many of her friends were dead. Lusa and Raynar were gone. Lowie and Zekk were missing as well as her Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara.
Jaina stood up and brushed the dirt off her pants. She hadn't had a decent shower in years. Not since before the battle with the Vong had turned nasty and sent her fleeing for her life. Not since before the Jedi were outcast by the galaxy they were trying so desperately to save. She pulled her long hair back. It had grown long since she had had it last cut. That had been two years ago and she hadn't lost her hair by choice. She'd have to make another appointment. Jaina smiled grimly at the thought. There were no stylists these days. No businessmen. All the people were trying to fight to survive, one way or another.
Jaina headed back towards the Ewok village. Even after all these years Jaina still couldn't believe what good friends the Ewok tribal leader remained with her mother. She stopped on a bridge and put her hands on the rope railing. She smiled as down below two Ewoks chirped at each other while they played. They're the last happy creatures in this galaxy. She thought sadly. And that was all too true.
"What are you thinking about?"
Jaina turned to face Lando's tall, gorgeous wife, Tendra. "How much I miss the simple days."
Tendra nodded. They were all worried. Especially about Zekk, Luke, Mara, Lowie, and Lando. All five of them were missing. They had sent out on a mission to Kashyyyk, the homeworld of the Wookiees, several months ago and no one had heard anything from them since. It had been dangerous. While Kashyyyk was not in Yuuzhan Vong territory it was on the very edge and that still made it highly dangerous. Of course no one was safe these days.
Jaina sighed, "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Tendra gave another short nod and placed a friendly hand on Jaina's shoulder, "We all know how you feel. The pain and the unknowing."
"It's not knowing what's happened to them that is the hardest."
Tendra couldn't agree more. She had searched all her life for a companion that she could love. She had found such love in Lando Calrissian. Gambler, card player, businessman. How she loved him. While she was not remarkably close to either Luke or Mara she knew many people who were and it gutted her all the same.
Jaina closed her eyes and gave a sigh. Life was hard now and no matter how she tried she couldn't see things being happy again. Even if they defeated the Vong, and that in itself was big if, they would have to rebuild the galaxy. A galaxy where there was nothing left.
Jaina took in a deep breath and reached up to the shoulder on her arm and squeezed it, "I need to go she my mother."
Tendra gave her a small smile, "Keep close to your family." The unspoken words, it may be the last time you'll ever get to see them, hung between the two.
Jaina cleared her throat, "Right."
She headed off in the direction of her parents' hut when Kyp intercepted her. He took her by the elbow, "We have to talk."
Jaina gave him a rude look, "I need to go talk to my parents."
"Later."
Jaina ripped her arm free of his grasp, "I will talk to you later. Right now I need to go see my parents."
Kyp wasn't letting it go. He grabbed her elbow again, "Now. It's important."
Jaina glared at him and ripped her arm free once again and stalked off without saying a word. Kyp let her go. He wanted to warn her but never mind that she could find out on her own.
Jaina, seething with anger, continued to walk down the bridges when Jagged Fel stopped her. He had a worried look upon his face. "What is it?"
He took her aside, "I have to leave soon."
"Leave? What do you mean leave? Where are you going?"
Jag sighed, "I have to return to Chiss territory." When Jaina opened her mouth to say something he hurriedly added, "for the time being. I just need to return a few things and maybe I'll be able to persuade them to fully join the fight."
Jaina raised one eyebrow, "All right."
Jaina put her head down and Jag tipped it back up with his index finger, "I promised you I wouldn't go anywhere, and I won't. I'll return. I promise." When she didn't answer he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, "I won't leave you forever."
Jaina pulled him tighter. They had grown even closer after Borleias. "Go where you need to go. Do what you have to do. But don't die on me, okay?"
Jag pulled back and kissed her forehead, "I won't die on you."
Jaina's eyes welled with tears, "You'd better not." She chocked back some more tears, "I've already lost to many people I care about to this war."
"Well I will not let you lose me."
Jaina gave him a weak smile, "You had better not."
***
Two days after Jag's departure and another argument with Kyp Jaina actually felt herself bored. There were far too many things to do but nothing that she herself could really do. She sighed and swore silently. Kyp had known before she had that Jag had to leave for a short while. She gritted her teeth. How he aggravated her at times.
Suddenly a familiar presence touched her mind. "Uncle Luke!" She cried out. She ran down to where the ships were loading and unloading and screamed out, "Jacen!"
Jacen came bounding down the ramp, he looked tired and had lost a lot of weight but Jaina threw herself into her brother's arms anyway. He gripped her tightly, "Jaina. Oh I was so worried about you."
Jaina never wanted to let her twin go. "We thought you were dead!"
Zekk, Lowie, Lando, Mara, and Luke bounded down the ramp after the young Jedi. "It's a miracle." Lando agreed.
She felt her mother's presence and looked up to find her mom and dad racing down to greet them and her mother squealed and embraced Jacen and immediately started crying. Jaina gulped down her own tears as her dad, the famous Han Solo, through one arm around her shoulder and pulled her into Jacen and her mom's embrace.
After several emotional moments her parents took Jacen up to rest and to eat and Jaina was reunited with Zekk and Lowie. They told her all about how they had come across and rescued Jacen. Jaina grinned and embraced her uncle and told Lando where he could find his wife. Jaina looked over expecting to find her aunt Mara waiting for her turn to be reunited with her niece but rather found her looking at her nails, as if she was bored. "Hi, Aunt Mara."
Mara waved her off and walked into the forest. Jaina raised her eyebrows at Luke and he merely shrugged and headed up the bridges and ramps to see how Jacen was doing. "What's going on?" She whispered to Zekk as they followed Luke up.
Lowie gave a small growl of uncertainty and Zekk replied, "We don't really know. They had some kind of argument about Anakin. We couldn't hear much but Master Skywalker told Mara that she needed to be more compassionate towards Leia and to recognize the fact that Anakin was dead."
Jaina shook her head. Mara didn't look herself these days for one. She no longer had the beauty of her youth. Her eyes had become a dull green and her flowing red-gold hair was now a dull red and was beginning to gray at the top. Small worry lines had begun to plague her face around the corners of her mouth and her eyes. And she had noticed a bit of tension between Mara and her uncle Luke before they left.
Jaina shrugged and hurried to up to visit her brother Jacen. He was well asleep when she got there and she found her mom crying silently while she watched Jacen sleep. Her dad led her outside, "I'm really worried about your mother." He whispered.
"Why?" Jaina whispered back, "Jacen is alive. Its brought back some hope into her life."
They walked away from her parents' hut so they didn't have to whisper, "She's getting better I know and Jacen's back so that makes things much better but losing Anakin was a lot for her. Chewie's death," Han swallowed back the pain, "Was a big hole in her life too but when Anakin died it was too much for her to handle. And now with Mara-"
Jaina put up her hand to stop her father, "What about Mara?" Jaina was surprised to find the 'aunt' gone from the front of Mara's name, "I mean, she's acting really weird and stuff but why would that really hurt Mom? Her and Mara were never great friends, even after Mara married Uncle Luke."
Han sighed, "Mara chose to ignore Anakin's death and when Ben was kidnapped Leia nearly lost it and Mara didn't help. These days Mara has been really cold to Leia even though she still leaves Ben in Leia's care. Leia's feeling guilty for the two of us never being there when you were kids and-"
Jaina again cut off her father, "Dad, listen to me. I UNDERSTAND. Anakin and Jacen always understood and you two knew that. I was the only one who never understood it but now I do. You did it because you had no choice. You two had to do what needed to be done for peace, because we all know that no one else would have done it, and you couldn't possibly put us into danger in the process. I've told Mom that repeatedly that I understand and I don't hate you or dislike you for it. In fact I love you both so much more for it. You sent us away for our safety even though it gutted you both. That's what I admire so much about you two, and especially Mom. You've both been through so much. That's something Mara can never do."
Han went to say something when he noticed a very sullen looking Wedge Antilles coming up to them, "Wedge?"
Jaina turned to see Wedge looking very distraught, "General Antilles?"
Wedge gripped both of Jaina's arms so tightly it hurt, "Jaina," He gasped, "I have something to tell you."
Han gently eased his daughter from Wedge's gasp. While he knew the man meant no harm there was no telling what someone might do in grief.
"What is it?" Jaina asked, silently scolding herself for letting her voice jump.
"It's about my nephew."
"Jag?" Jaina asked and in an instant knew something had happened. She grabbed Wedge more violently then she had intended, "What? What has happened to him?"
Han noted the panic in his daughter's voice and couldn't help but wonder about her relationship with the young pilot.
"He's gone." Wedge said. He swallowed thickly and continued, "He and his group were ambushed by the Vong just outside Chiss territory. He didn't make it."
Jaina's legs grew numb beneath her and she would have fallen if her father hadn't been there to catch her. He hugged his daughter tightly as she sobbed against his chest. He raised an eyebrow at his old friend and Wedge rubbed his eyes and looked at Han with a pained look. Jaina thumped her fist against her father's chest, "He promised me he'd come back!" She sobbed, "He promised me!" Jaina thumped her father's chest again.
Han eased himself down and allowed Jaina to pour tears onto his clean shirt. Jacen and Leia came racing out from Han and Leia's hut. Obviously they had felt Jaina's pain through the Force and they came to see what it was about.
Jaina sobbed even harder when Leia offered a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. Jaina muttered, "He promised me he'd come back. He promised me he'd come back," over and over again.
Wedge walked slowly away. He said what he had come to say. He only wished there was something he could do for the poor girl.
***
Three days had passed since Jaina had learned of Jag's death. In her heart she refused to believe he was gone but her head was telling her otherwise. Jaina and Jacen sat by the firelight. Neither of them saying anything. Both of them afraid to speak, unsure of what to say. Jaina had never thought she would be awkward around her brother but during the months apart they had both grown in different ways. They were different people then they each remembered.
Kyp came dashing up the ramp, "Jaina! Come quick!" Jaina, confused by Kyp's words, didn't move. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "Come on!"
"Kyp! What are you doing!?"
"Just come on!"
Kyp took her down to the temporary docking bay that they had set up and found a strange, unidentifiable ship touch down. A very healthy, strong, and alive Jagged Fel walked down the ramps and straight into Jaina's arms. Jaina squealed and embraced him tightly. "Jag!" She cried.
Jag squeezed her back just as hard. Kyp turned when he felt the Solos and Master Skywalker approaching, all of them confused. Kyp hid his smile.
Jag rested his chin on her head and closed his eyes. He looked relieved and happy. Jaina pressed her forehead against his chest and took in the smell of salty water and engine fluid. She suddenly pulled back looking at him with his tear stained face. "Where were you?"
Jag kissed her forehead, "Doesn't matter. I'm here now and I am not going to leave you again."
Jaina touched her lips to his softly and wrapped her arms around his neck leaning into the embrace. They stood there, hugging, for many minutes before Han asked, "Am I the only one who's confused?"
The End
Jaina Solo stretched out with her sense to the area around her. Nothing but trees and creatures. Their occupation on Endor was only to last a few days. Endor was one of the few planets that hadn't fallen to Vong conquest. She opened up her eyes and survived the planet above her. It was on this moon that her parents had fought a winning victory for the alliance.
Jaina stretched out with the Force a bit more. She could feel her mother's heart wrenching. She could hear her mother's thoughts and feel her mother's pain. Jaina's own heart wrenched. Her parents had their horror war stories and now she had hers. Her brothers were dead as well as her long time guardian and friend, Chewbacca. Many of her friends were dead. Lusa and Raynar were gone. Lowie and Zekk were missing as well as her Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara.
Jaina stood up and brushed the dirt off her pants. She hadn't had a decent shower in years. Not since before the battle with the Vong had turned nasty and sent her fleeing for her life. Not since before the Jedi were outcast by the galaxy they were trying so desperately to save. She pulled her long hair back. It had grown long since she had had it last cut. That had been two years ago and she hadn't lost her hair by choice. She'd have to make another appointment. Jaina smiled grimly at the thought. There were no stylists these days. No businessmen. All the people were trying to fight to survive, one way or another.
Jaina headed back towards the Ewok village. Even after all these years Jaina still couldn't believe what good friends the Ewok tribal leader remained with her mother. She stopped on a bridge and put her hands on the rope railing. She smiled as down below two Ewoks chirped at each other while they played. They're the last happy creatures in this galaxy. She thought sadly. And that was all too true.
"What are you thinking about?"
Jaina turned to face Lando's tall, gorgeous wife, Tendra. "How much I miss the simple days."
Tendra nodded. They were all worried. Especially about Zekk, Luke, Mara, Lowie, and Lando. All five of them were missing. They had sent out on a mission to Kashyyyk, the homeworld of the Wookiees, several months ago and no one had heard anything from them since. It had been dangerous. While Kashyyyk was not in Yuuzhan Vong territory it was on the very edge and that still made it highly dangerous. Of course no one was safe these days.
Jaina sighed, "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Tendra gave another short nod and placed a friendly hand on Jaina's shoulder, "We all know how you feel. The pain and the unknowing."
"It's not knowing what's happened to them that is the hardest."
Tendra couldn't agree more. She had searched all her life for a companion that she could love. She had found such love in Lando Calrissian. Gambler, card player, businessman. How she loved him. While she was not remarkably close to either Luke or Mara she knew many people who were and it gutted her all the same.
Jaina closed her eyes and gave a sigh. Life was hard now and no matter how she tried she couldn't see things being happy again. Even if they defeated the Vong, and that in itself was big if, they would have to rebuild the galaxy. A galaxy where there was nothing left.
Jaina took in a deep breath and reached up to the shoulder on her arm and squeezed it, "I need to go she my mother."
Tendra gave her a small smile, "Keep close to your family." The unspoken words, it may be the last time you'll ever get to see them, hung between the two.
Jaina cleared her throat, "Right."
She headed off in the direction of her parents' hut when Kyp intercepted her. He took her by the elbow, "We have to talk."
Jaina gave him a rude look, "I need to go talk to my parents."
"Later."
Jaina ripped her arm free of his grasp, "I will talk to you later. Right now I need to go see my parents."
Kyp wasn't letting it go. He grabbed her elbow again, "Now. It's important."
Jaina glared at him and ripped her arm free once again and stalked off without saying a word. Kyp let her go. He wanted to warn her but never mind that she could find out on her own.
Jaina, seething with anger, continued to walk down the bridges when Jagged Fel stopped her. He had a worried look upon his face. "What is it?"
He took her aside, "I have to leave soon."
"Leave? What do you mean leave? Where are you going?"
Jag sighed, "I have to return to Chiss territory." When Jaina opened her mouth to say something he hurriedly added, "for the time being. I just need to return a few things and maybe I'll be able to persuade them to fully join the fight."
Jaina raised one eyebrow, "All right."
Jaina put her head down and Jag tipped it back up with his index finger, "I promised you I wouldn't go anywhere, and I won't. I'll return. I promise." When she didn't answer he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, "I won't leave you forever."
Jaina pulled him tighter. They had grown even closer after Borleias. "Go where you need to go. Do what you have to do. But don't die on me, okay?"
Jag pulled back and kissed her forehead, "I won't die on you."
Jaina's eyes welled with tears, "You'd better not." She chocked back some more tears, "I've already lost to many people I care about to this war."
"Well I will not let you lose me."
Jaina gave him a weak smile, "You had better not."
***
Two days after Jag's departure and another argument with Kyp Jaina actually felt herself bored. There were far too many things to do but nothing that she herself could really do. She sighed and swore silently. Kyp had known before she had that Jag had to leave for a short while. She gritted her teeth. How he aggravated her at times.
Suddenly a familiar presence touched her mind. "Uncle Luke!" She cried out. She ran down to where the ships were loading and unloading and screamed out, "Jacen!"
Jacen came bounding down the ramp, he looked tired and had lost a lot of weight but Jaina threw herself into her brother's arms anyway. He gripped her tightly, "Jaina. Oh I was so worried about you."
Jaina never wanted to let her twin go. "We thought you were dead!"
Zekk, Lowie, Lando, Mara, and Luke bounded down the ramp after the young Jedi. "It's a miracle." Lando agreed.
She felt her mother's presence and looked up to find her mom and dad racing down to greet them and her mother squealed and embraced Jacen and immediately started crying. Jaina gulped down her own tears as her dad, the famous Han Solo, through one arm around her shoulder and pulled her into Jacen and her mom's embrace.
After several emotional moments her parents took Jacen up to rest and to eat and Jaina was reunited with Zekk and Lowie. They told her all about how they had come across and rescued Jacen. Jaina grinned and embraced her uncle and told Lando where he could find his wife. Jaina looked over expecting to find her aunt Mara waiting for her turn to be reunited with her niece but rather found her looking at her nails, as if she was bored. "Hi, Aunt Mara."
Mara waved her off and walked into the forest. Jaina raised her eyebrows at Luke and he merely shrugged and headed up the bridges and ramps to see how Jacen was doing. "What's going on?" She whispered to Zekk as they followed Luke up.
Lowie gave a small growl of uncertainty and Zekk replied, "We don't really know. They had some kind of argument about Anakin. We couldn't hear much but Master Skywalker told Mara that she needed to be more compassionate towards Leia and to recognize the fact that Anakin was dead."
Jaina shook her head. Mara didn't look herself these days for one. She no longer had the beauty of her youth. Her eyes had become a dull green and her flowing red-gold hair was now a dull red and was beginning to gray at the top. Small worry lines had begun to plague her face around the corners of her mouth and her eyes. And she had noticed a bit of tension between Mara and her uncle Luke before they left.
Jaina shrugged and hurried to up to visit her brother Jacen. He was well asleep when she got there and she found her mom crying silently while she watched Jacen sleep. Her dad led her outside, "I'm really worried about your mother." He whispered.
"Why?" Jaina whispered back, "Jacen is alive. Its brought back some hope into her life."
They walked away from her parents' hut so they didn't have to whisper, "She's getting better I know and Jacen's back so that makes things much better but losing Anakin was a lot for her. Chewie's death," Han swallowed back the pain, "Was a big hole in her life too but when Anakin died it was too much for her to handle. And now with Mara-"
Jaina put up her hand to stop her father, "What about Mara?" Jaina was surprised to find the 'aunt' gone from the front of Mara's name, "I mean, she's acting really weird and stuff but why would that really hurt Mom? Her and Mara were never great friends, even after Mara married Uncle Luke."
Han sighed, "Mara chose to ignore Anakin's death and when Ben was kidnapped Leia nearly lost it and Mara didn't help. These days Mara has been really cold to Leia even though she still leaves Ben in Leia's care. Leia's feeling guilty for the two of us never being there when you were kids and-"
Jaina again cut off her father, "Dad, listen to me. I UNDERSTAND. Anakin and Jacen always understood and you two knew that. I was the only one who never understood it but now I do. You did it because you had no choice. You two had to do what needed to be done for peace, because we all know that no one else would have done it, and you couldn't possibly put us into danger in the process. I've told Mom that repeatedly that I understand and I don't hate you or dislike you for it. In fact I love you both so much more for it. You sent us away for our safety even though it gutted you both. That's what I admire so much about you two, and especially Mom. You've both been through so much. That's something Mara can never do."
Han went to say something when he noticed a very sullen looking Wedge Antilles coming up to them, "Wedge?"
Jaina turned to see Wedge looking very distraught, "General Antilles?"
Wedge gripped both of Jaina's arms so tightly it hurt, "Jaina," He gasped, "I have something to tell you."
Han gently eased his daughter from Wedge's gasp. While he knew the man meant no harm there was no telling what someone might do in grief.
"What is it?" Jaina asked, silently scolding herself for letting her voice jump.
"It's about my nephew."
"Jag?" Jaina asked and in an instant knew something had happened. She grabbed Wedge more violently then she had intended, "What? What has happened to him?"
Han noted the panic in his daughter's voice and couldn't help but wonder about her relationship with the young pilot.
"He's gone." Wedge said. He swallowed thickly and continued, "He and his group were ambushed by the Vong just outside Chiss territory. He didn't make it."
Jaina's legs grew numb beneath her and she would have fallen if her father hadn't been there to catch her. He hugged his daughter tightly as she sobbed against his chest. He raised an eyebrow at his old friend and Wedge rubbed his eyes and looked at Han with a pained look. Jaina thumped her fist against her father's chest, "He promised me he'd come back!" She sobbed, "He promised me!" Jaina thumped her father's chest again.
Han eased himself down and allowed Jaina to pour tears onto his clean shirt. Jacen and Leia came racing out from Han and Leia's hut. Obviously they had felt Jaina's pain through the Force and they came to see what it was about.
Jaina sobbed even harder when Leia offered a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. Jaina muttered, "He promised me he'd come back. He promised me he'd come back," over and over again.
Wedge walked slowly away. He said what he had come to say. He only wished there was something he could do for the poor girl.
***
Three days had passed since Jaina had learned of Jag's death. In her heart she refused to believe he was gone but her head was telling her otherwise. Jaina and Jacen sat by the firelight. Neither of them saying anything. Both of them afraid to speak, unsure of what to say. Jaina had never thought she would be awkward around her brother but during the months apart they had both grown in different ways. They were different people then they each remembered.
Kyp came dashing up the ramp, "Jaina! Come quick!" Jaina, confused by Kyp's words, didn't move. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "Come on!"
"Kyp! What are you doing!?"
"Just come on!"
Kyp took her down to the temporary docking bay that they had set up and found a strange, unidentifiable ship touch down. A very healthy, strong, and alive Jagged Fel walked down the ramps and straight into Jaina's arms. Jaina squealed and embraced him tightly. "Jag!" She cried.
Jag squeezed her back just as hard. Kyp turned when he felt the Solos and Master Skywalker approaching, all of them confused. Kyp hid his smile.
Jag rested his chin on her head and closed his eyes. He looked relieved and happy. Jaina pressed her forehead against his chest and took in the smell of salty water and engine fluid. She suddenly pulled back looking at him with his tear stained face. "Where were you?"
Jag kissed her forehead, "Doesn't matter. I'm here now and I am not going to leave you again."
Jaina touched her lips to his softly and wrapped her arms around his neck leaning into the embrace. They stood there, hugging, for many minutes before Han asked, "Am I the only one who's confused?"
The End