URUSEI YATSURA*BIG
TIME
BY:
ROBBIE WEBB
EPISODE 101
DAWN PART 1
NOTE: THIS FAN FICTION BASES AFTER EITHER MOVIE 6, NOW LETS SART THE EPISODE.
P.S. THER MIGHT BE SOME SOUTH PARK RELATED JOKES. Only in caps for first chapter because that's how I did it sort, but I don't want to take the time to fix it.
THERE IS A SUN RISE IN THE TOWN OF TOMOBIKI, ATURU WAKES UP, LUM, ATURU, TEN ARE ALL BEING FORCED BYE ATURU'S MOM TO GO TO SCHOOL AND THEY DO SO.
***
A NEW TEACHER STEPS IN THE HOMEROOM.
YAKI: I'M YOUR SUBSUSTUTE MY NAME YAKI SOBA (YAH-KEE SOE-BAH) (THATS JAPENESE FOR FRIED NODDLES WITH GOULASH TOPPING) THE 3RD,YOU MAY CALL ME YAKI-SAN. DOYOU HAVE ANY QEUSTIONS?
PERM: I HAVE ONE. WHAT HAPPENED TO ONNSEN-SAN?
YAKI: HE WAS MADLY (MORE LIKE INSANE LIKE) IN LOVE WHITH MISS SAKURA SINCE HER AND TSUBAME PLANED THERE WEDDING TO BE TODAY HE WEN'T TO THE LOONEY BIGN.
PERM: OH KAAAAAAY?
ATURU'S THOUGHTS: DON'T REMIND ME.
ATURU: SAKURA! OH AM I TALKING HEH HEH.
YAKI: WELL NOW WHILE WE WAIT FOR THE KINDERGARDENS YOU'LL HERE A LESSON FROM SEXUAL HARESSMENT PANDA.
ATURU:HUH?
YAKI: I SAID SAXUAL HARESSMENT PANDA AND NOW SHUTUP!
SOME WEIRD MUSIC STARTS PLAYING.
S.H.PANDA:I'M SEXUAL HARESSMENT PANDA. NOW WHEN A PANDA'S FATHER TRYS TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE EARTH AND HAVE A TAG RACE TO HELP EARTH THAT THE RULES ARE THAT THE PANDA MUST GRAB THE ATHER PANDA'S HORNS AND THE EARTH PANDA WINS THAT MAKES THE PANDA HAVE TO MARRY THE OTHER PANDA. AND THAT MAKES ME A SAD PANDA..
ATURU THOUGHTS:I DIDN'T KNOW PANDA'S HAD HORNS WAIT A SECK THATS THE SAME SANAREOW I CAN SUE LUM AND GO BACK TO MY PERVERT DAYS.
YAKI:OH I DON'T WAN'T TO INTRUDE SEXUAL HARASSMENT PANDA BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT THE KINDERGARDENERS ARINT COMMING SO GO ON SEXUAL HARASSMENT PANDA.
S.H.PANDA:OK.
EVERY STUDENT(ECSEPT ATURU) : AHHH!
ATURU:WOO HOO!
***
AT TEN'S KINDERGARDEN
TEACHER: SINCE YOU CAN'T GO TO TOMOBIKI HIGH WE WILL HAVE AN EARLY VALINTINES DAY.
TEN: BUT THATS, THATS WEIRD.
TEACHER: I KNOW BUT MAKE VALINTINES.
EVERYBUDY BUT TEN. THEN MAKO GIVES TEN A VALINTINE TEN SHRUGES MAKO THINKS THAT SHE IS NOW ENGAGED TO TEN.
***
ATURU IS IN A DARKENED ROOM FRONT OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE A 19-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YAKI-SAN.
ATURU: HOLY SHIT YYYY (GULP) YOUR YAKI-SAN.
YAKI: YES ATURU I WAN'T YOU TO HELP ME. YOU SEE I'M A GHOST.
ATURU: AAA A GHOST!?
YAKI: YES AND TO HELP ME WHITH THIS.
YAKI-SAN GIVES ATURU A RED RUBIE.
ATURU: WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WHITH THIS?
YAKI: SHUTUP!!!! YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT IN THE BRA OF A FEMALE ONI.
ATURU: BBB BUT…
YAKI: SHUTUP!!! AND DO IT.
***
AT THE TOMOBIKI HIGH (AFTER SHCOOL.)
MEGENE: MMMM SINCE THE FAT GUY MOVED AND SINCE WE CAN'T CHANGE THE NAME OF THE GANG OF 4 WE NEED A NEW MEMBER.
PERM: HEY HIS NAME ISINT FAT GUY…
CHIBI: YEAH BUT WHO IS GOING TO REPLACE HIM?
MEGENE: I KNOW SOME ONE GOOD ANOFF.
CHIBI: BUT WHO?
MEGENE AJUSTS HIS GLASSS.
MEGENE: I KNOW.
CHIBI: WHO?
PERM: I KNOW.
MEGENE: MENDOU.
THE SCREEN OPENS TO VEIW MENDOU AND THE GANG GOES TO HIM.
MEGNE: MENDOU WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN THE GANG OF 4?
MENDOU: OK…
MEGNE: GOOD.
(I`KNOW THIS SEEMS POINTLESS BUT IT WILL BE INPORTANT LATTER)
***
AT ATURU'S HOUSE.
NEWS: A LOCAL PREISTEST IS GETTING MAIRED IT WAS SAPOSE TO BE TODAY BUT IS BEING RESCEGULED TO TOMMOROW.IN SIMMALURE NEWS A TOMOBIKI HIGH TEACHER IS GOING INSANE THAT IS ALL.
ATURU: HEY LUM WANA SLEEP WHITH ME IN THE BED?
LUM HAS THAT LOOK WHEN SHE THINKS ATURU REALY LOVE HER AND THEN SHE SAYS:
LUM: DARLINE. YES!!!
MRS.MORABOSHI: THAT WASN'T EXPECTED.
MR.MORABOSHI: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT ALL DAY.
MRS.MORABOSHI: WHY?
MR.MORABOSHI: CAUSE WEIRDER STUFF HAS BEIGN HAPPENING.
***
LATTER THAT NIGHT.
ATURU STUFFS THE RUBBIE IN LUM'S BRA.
LUM: NOT WHEN TEN IS IN THE CLASSET DARLING.
ATURU: WHEW.
***
AT SAKURA'S WEDDING.
(ATURU IS CRYING)
THEN A LONG HAIRED MAN COME IN. (THE MAN LOOKS A LOT LIKE YAKI-SAN (THE YOUNGER VIRSSION BUT WHITH LONG HAIR THAT MAKES HIM SORTA LOOK LIKE A GIRL (AND IS ACTULY YAKI-SAN.).
YAKI-SAN: WELL THE CERIMONY WILL BEGING IN A CUPPLE OF MUNITES.
YAKI-SAN GOS TO SITE AND THE ONLY PLACE NEXT TO SIT THAT WASN'T GUM INFESTED OR TAKEN WAS ONE NEXT TO ATURU.
ATURU: HI MISS HAVE YOU SCENE A FRIEND OF MINE HIS NAME IS YAKI-SAN.
YAKI-SAN: #1 I'M A 19 YEAR OLD MAN, #2 I'M YAKI-SAN AND #3 IF YOU EVERY SAY ANY THING LIKE THAT AGAIN BECAUSE I WAS TRAINED IN THREE TYPES OF MARTIALE ARTS INCLUDEING ONE THAT INVALVIS ENERGY MANIPULATION TECHNIQS.
(IN A SHIVERY VOICE ATURU SAYS:)
ATURU: OH TELL ME MORE.
YAKI-SAN: WELL THAT RUBBIE I GAVE YOU WAS AN ONI GEM A GEM THAT WHEN IN COTACT WHITH A DIVISE CALLED THE GEO-METER WHICH CAN FIX THE DEADS BODY AND BRING HIM OR HER BACK TO LIFE PLUS MOST FEMALE ONIS HAVE SUCH GEO METTERS IN THERE BRAS.
ATURU: TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
YAKI-SAN: WELL I WAS THE YOUNGEST IN MY FAMILY THE REST WERE MY FIVE SISTERS LATTER THEY ALL GOT MARRIED HAD KIDS I WANTED TO HELP THEM AND THERE CHIRLDREN AND SO FORTH SO I WEN'T TO GET THE IMORTALLITY ELIXSER BUT I FAILED AND DIED BUT NOW I HAVE 4 GOALS FOR THIS LIFE.
ATURU: WHAT?
YAKI-SAN: #1 FIND AND HELP MY LIVING DECENDINTS, #2 FIND MY NEMISES THAT GOT THE IMORALTY ELIXER, #3 MAKE YOU MY SIDE KICK AND #4 SOME DAY MARRY HER.
YAKI POINTS TO RYUUNOSUKE.
ATURU: RYUUNOSUKE'S DAD.
YAKI-SAN: NO YOU IDEIOT!
(IN A SWEET AND IN LOVE TYPE SOUNDING VOICE HE SAYS:)
YAKI-SAN: I'M IN LOVE WITH RYUU-CHAN.
ATURU: OH WELL YOU KNOW I HAVE NO TIE DOWNS.
LIKE ON CUE LUM COMES OUT WHITH A BOOK FULL OF WEDDING SUPPLYS.
LUM: HEY DARLIMG WE SHOULD GO AND CHECK WHAT WE WAN'T FOR ARE WEDDING.
THE WEDDING BEGINS; KOUCHOU-SENSEI IS WEDDING SAKURA AND TSUBANE WHILE KOTATSU-NEKO IS THE RING CAT.
KOUCHOU-SENSEI: TODAY WE ARE TO UNITE TSUBAME OZUNO AND SAKURA BLOSSAM IN HOLY…
A MOUSE GOES UP TO KOUCHOU-SENSEI'S LEG.
KOUCHOU-SENSEI: SHIT! WAIT LET ME REDO THAT.
MEAN WHILE MARK OSEN COMES ON THE SCENE.
OSEN: DON'T MARRY HIM SAKURA MARRY ME.
KOUCHOU-SENSEI: SCREW THIS I DIDN'T FORMALY BECAME A CAPTAIN TO BE SCREWED WITH SAKURA AND OSEN. SO I DECLAIR OSEN AND SAKURA TO BE MARRIED. IT WILL BE EASIER THAT WAY WHEN YOU TWO GO BACK TO WORK.
OSEN: YES.
KOUCHOU-SENSEI: YOU'RE REHIRED AND YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
OSEN KISSES SAKURA AND ATURU IS CRYING.
***
AT SCHOOL LATTER THAT DAY (IN OSEN'S CLASS.).
OSEN: NOW LET ME TELL YOU THAT…
INTERCOM: ATURU MOROBOSHI AND LUM WHAT EVER UM GO TO THE POOL THIS INSTINT.
OSEN: UH YAEH HERE THAT MOROBOSHI AND LUM GO TO THE POOL.
LUM IS ABOUT TO GO WHEN.
MEGENE: OSEN MAY I GO TOO.
PERM: ME TWO.
CHIBI: ME THREEE.
MENDOU: ONLY ME.
MEGENE: HEY YOUR IN THE GANG OF FOUR NOW SO NOW ITS ALL FOR 1 AND 1 FOR ALL.
OSEN: ONLY LUM AND MOROBOSHI MAY GO!
MEGENE AND MENDOU: OK.
LUM GOS OFF WHILE ATURU STAYS IN HIS SEAT.
OSEN: MOROBOSHI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE SOUND OF THE TEACHER IS HEARD ALL THE WAY TO THE ONI HOME WORLD WERE INVADER (LUM'S DAD) IS PLAYING SALITAIRE.
INVADER: WHAT IN HELL WAS THAT!
BACK ON EARTH. ATURU IS RUNING TO THE POOL. OUNCE THEY REACH THE POOL MUJAKI APEARS.
ATURU: MUJAKI.
LUM: YOU'RE THE GUY I MET AT THE AQURUM.
MUJAKI: YES YOU BOTH HAD THE SAME DREAM MY DREAM MY RETIREMENT GIG SO THIS IS MY GET BACK FIRST REMEMBER WHEN ATURU GOT SO PERVERTED WELL ANYWAY THAT POITOIN CHERRY (THE LOVE POTION FROM MOVIE 6) HAD BEEN A ANTIDOTE BUT IT HAPPRNED TOO SOON SO MUCH THAT YOU WOULD BE CRAZY ABOUT WOMEN, BRAS, PANTIES AND PORNO HA HA BUT IT FAILED. SO THIS WILL BE MY PAY BACK HA, HA, HA, HA.
ATURU: IS THAT SO?
MUJAKI: WELL YOU WILL BE IN HERE FOREVER.
THEN YAKI COMES IN.
YAKI: NOT IF I HAVE SAY IN THIS MOROBOSHI IS MY SIDE KICK.
MUJKI: HEH, HEH, HEH, HA, HA, HA!
YAKI: WHATS SO FUNNY?
MUJKI: WELL YOU'LL FIND OUT.
RIGHT THEN YAKI WOKE UP.
YAKI: WERES MOROBOSHI?
CHIBI: HES IN THE TANK SLEEPING AGAIN.
MENDOU: THAT'S JUST LIKE HIM.LAZZY AND HORNY.
YAKI: HEY MOROBOSHI IS MANY THINGS BUT NOT A PERVERT. STUFF LIKE THAT IS BEHIND HIM.
RYUUSUKE: WELL HE MADE A PASS AT ME EARLEIR TODAY.
YAKI: THAT BASTARD!
YAKI WALKS UP TO THE TANK.
ATURU: LUM…
YAKI: OH I SHOULDN'T…
ATURU: RYUU-CHAN, BETEN, MISS SAKURA, AND RAN HA HA.
YAKI: MOROBSHI WAKE UP!
RIGHT THEN A LEAVER HIT AND THE BERALE OF THE AROUND WHITH YAKI-SAN HANGING OVER THE 10 STORIES OFF THE GROUND.
YAKI: FOR THE LOVE OF NINJITSU SOMEONE HELP ME!
RIGHT THEN THE TANK FELL TO THE FIRST FLOUR.
KOUCHOU-SENEI: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
YAKI: WELL UM GULP HA; HA LETS JUST GET TO BED.
KOUCHOU-SENEI: OK.
***
AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS THE SAME DAY AS YESTER DAY ONLY EARLIER THAT DAY.
WHILE THIS IS HAPPENING ATURU IS WHATCHING SOMETHING.
ATURU: YES HEH, HEH.
AS ON THE SMALL TELEVISION A WOMAN IS TAKING A SHOWER THEN A MAN IN LADYS CLOTHING AND WHITH A NIFE STABES THE WOMAN.
ATURU: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAKI COMES UP AND TURNS THE TV OFF.
YAKI: PHSYCO HUH?
ATURU: YEP.
YAKI: IF YOU THINK THAT'S SCARY I BET YOU COULDN'T WACTH FRIDAY THE 13TH OR AKIRA (just because its gory).
ATURU: WELL I WOULDN'T WHACTH FRIDAY THE 17TH BUT AKIRA IS JUST AN ANIME.
YAKI: THE 13TH AND GET READY. SO GO TO THE MENDOU'S TANK AND POLISH IT OK.
RIGHT THEN ATURU WEN'T OFF.
YAKI: THEN I GUESS I'LL CHECK OUT THE FLOATS.THE 17TH HA, HA.
THEN THE CAMERA CHECKS UP TO ATURU WERE HE SEES RYUU.
ATURU: HI.
RYUU: WHAT IS IT MOROBOSHI I'M BUSY.
ATURU: WELL HOW 'BOUT THIS.
THEN ATURU GRABED RYUU'S BUTT.
RYUU: WHY YOU!
WHILE THEN THEY WERE FIGHTING RYUUSUKE'S DAD JUMPS IN.
RYUU'S DAD: GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU WEIRD PERVERT HOMO.
RYUU: I AM A WOMAN!
RIGHT THEN SHE NOCKS HER DAD IN TO THE SKY.
NOW WE FOLLOW YAKI TO WERE WE SEE SOME OF THE COSTUMES WHEN HE LEANS OVER THE WALL FALLS DOWN AND HE SEES ON OTHER THAN MUJAKI.
YAKI: MUJAKI?
MUJAKI: HEH, HEH, HEH HA.
YAKI: I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!
RIGHT THEN YAKI FALLS INNTO A BOX YHAT LOOK LIKE TIME AND SPACE BENT TOGATHER.
MUJAKI: GO THROU ETRENAL DREAM MY FRIEND.HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
TO BE CONTUNUED…NARATOR: WILL YAKI GETS OUT FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISIODE OF URUESEI YATASURA BIG TIME.