URUSEI YATSURA
*BIG TIME
EPISIODE 102DAWN PART 2
BY: ROB WEBB
We open to be we see Yaki in a fur suit and Aturu in a Han solo costume.
Yaki: Wait a sec this isn't Star Wars.
Then a man in dark comes up to Aturu it is his dad.
Aturu's Father: Aturu I am your father.
Yaki: No duh what's with this anyway?
Majuki: What you don't like Star Wars?
Yaki: You must die. SPIRIT LINE BEAM.
At that time Majuki dodges the fatal attack.
Majuki: Ha ha well aren't you stupid if you didn't pay attention when I fought moroboshi he.
Yaki: That's right but I have this to help me.
Yaki is holding a Gohei at majuki waving it at him till a horn falls out.
Yaki: All right here Baku and…
As yaki says that he blows the horn and Baku comes out eats everything up. Then Yaki wakes up in the Church were Sakura and Osen-Mark got married.
Aturu: Yow yaki are you ok?
Yaki: Yeah just passed out anyway are you gonna do something today?
Aturu: Yeah I'm gonna sue lum for sexual harassment.
Yaki: How and why in the hell!?
Aturu: Well I got some stuff from the panda and I wanna be a free man with lots of cash.
Yaki: Who's your layer?
Aturu: Osen-Mark he said if I give him half the money he could retire.
Yaki: Oh yeah well I'll represent Lum.
The day of the court case.
Kotatsuneko: Meow meeeow meow judge Kouchou.
Kouchou: HE SAID RISE FOR JUGDE KOUCHOU YOU IDIOTS!
Everyone stands.
Kotatsuneko: Meow.
Kouchou: He Said sit.
They all do.
Kouchou: lets get the ball rolling first we'll here from lum's side.
First witness is up.
Yaki: Your name.
Tsubane: What I'm not even in this series that much so why the hell should I be here bye.
He leaves.
Next witness.
Yaki: My next witness is non other than "Ryu-chan".
Everyone falls on their backs.
Ryu: So what am I here for?
Yaki: Well would you like to go on a date with me.
Ryu: What…?
Ryu's Father: Ryu the young lady is asking you out.
At that time both Yaki and Ryu go at Ryu's father while Ryu says "I AM A WOMAN!" while yaki says "I AM A MAN!" till Ryu's dad is knocked out.
Yaki: How's ten… I guess not huh.
Third witness
Weird music start and obviously its Sexual Harassment Panda.
Yaki: So Panda you started this all what do you have to say about yourself hmm.
S.H.P: Well like I said if…
Yaki: I don't care what you said TELL ME THAT YOU SARTED THIS AND YOU WILL CHANGE IT.
Kouchou: Stop badgering the witness.
S.H.P: Yeah that's sexual harassment.
Yaki: You don't even know what sexual harassment is panda!
S.H.P: That's right I'm a fraud these people should NOT be here.
Then Yaki fights the panda.
Yaki's last witness.
Yaki: My next witness is Ten's mom.
She goes up to the podium.
Yaki: Ok so would you say Aturu and lum's relationship is ok.
Ten's Mom: Yes my nephew in-law seems nice with lum.
Yaki: Good and…
At that second Osen-Mark lights a cigarette and Ten's Mom freaks out and Attacks with here Water umbrella thing.
Ten's Mom: PYROMAINIAC!!!
Ten's mom beats up Osen-Mark.
Yaki: Your Witness Osen-Mark.
Osen-Mark's first witness.
Osen-Mark: Ok my first witness Aturu's Dad.
Aturu's Father: So what here to talk about.
Osen-Mark: Ok so in your option do you not like lum.
Aturu's Father: Well because of that we have to deal with aliens and crap.
Osen-Mark: See the environment That Aturu has become hostile especially for me and my students.
Kouchou: Well since I'm the principal I Guess it would be for the best of the school but it would also be bad judgment if I didn't see the other witnesses.
Osen-Mark: Ok well lets go forward shall we.
Next witness.
Osen-Mark: My next witness Ghostbusters's Dan Akroyd.
Dan: I don't speak Japanese and why am I here?
Osen-Mark: Isn't he very funny?
Kouchou: I don't speak English.
Osen-Mark: Neither do I HA, HA, HA!
Dan: Why am I here?
Osen-Mark: When will you finish the script on the next Ghostbusters movie?
Dan: The only word I understood the word Ghostbusters.
Kouchu: I demand you go to your next witness.
Next witness.
Kouchou: Whose next Bill Murry?
Osen-Mark: No Harold Remis.
Kouchou: Why are you selecting Ghostbusters cast members.
Osen-mark: Actually just the writers they also wrote the movie.
Kouchou looks made.
Osen-Mark: I'm kidding actually my witness is Yaki.
Kouchou: What, you just go to your last witness.
Osen-Mark : Ok.
Osen-Mark's last witness.
Kotatsuneko: Meow truth.
Aturu: I guess?
Osen-Mark: Ok has Lum made your life a living hell?
Aturu: Yes.
Osen-Mark: My case is done.
Kouchou: Well it seems that Aturu and Lum must get married at the end of the school year.
Aturu: WHAT IN HELL!
Osen-Mark: They will only be here one more year since its there last year but… WHY!?
Lum: Yeah I got to pick a wedding dress.
Yaki: One down two to go.
Latter outside the courthouse.
Yaki: Well I guess that theirs no way that I'll ever get to Ryu-chan since her father thinks that she is a guy and That I'm a girl wait I can use this.
(You know what I'm I mean he's thinking)
At Aturu's house.
Yaki: So is there any way you could help?
Aturu: well Lum does have an extra bikini suit you could put toilet paper…
Yaki: enough moroboshi let me ask you this why do I look like a girl?
Aturu: Well Knowing Ryu's dad you should already know that. But my guess is that you have long hair, your ninja suit looks like a dress and the top of your suit looks like you have boobs plus…
Yaki: I GET THE DAMN POINT!
Aturu: O-k.
Yaki: Seriously is there anyway you could help me?
Aturu: Oh yeah my mom can sow your suit to make you look more feminine like sow in tissue…
Yaki: Don't say it or die.
Ataru: To look like boobies ha ha ha.
Then Yaki starts fighting Ataru for a while.
Latter at Ryu's home.
"Knock knock"
Ryu opens the door.
Yaki: Hello.
Ryu: Oh its you.
Ryu's Dad: Yes the confused young lady Who helped my son knock me out yes well there is no way you shall court my son you see he is already to be wed.
Yaki: RYU IS A WOMAN!
Ryu: Huh…?
Ryu's Dad: That's what I'm talking about my son is a b-o-y boy.
Yaki: But I brought a home cooked meal.
Ryu's dad: Home cooked meal ya-ho!
Latter
Ryu's Dad: Wow this is great I guess I'll have to have you be Ryu's wife (l.o.l.) I don't care about whoever was that I even expected her to be a man (Ryu's old fiancée) lets do something big.
Yaki: Really like what?
Ryu's Dad: Anyway what's your name?
Yaki: Yaki…
Ryu's Dad: Huh…?
Yaki: I meant my names sake.
Ryu's Dad: Oh why?
Yaki: My dad was sucking on sake when I was born so he named me that.
Ryu Dad's: Must have been a drunk wait doesn't that run in the family?
Yaki: He wasn't a drunk he named us all my siblings I mean after alcohol cause that was the only time he drank.
Ryu's Dad: Oh.
Yaki's thoughts: Good save Yaki my boy I think I can pull this off especially since Ryu-chan knows I'm a guy and she is a girl well lets see yeah yep every thing is gonna be fine.
Ryu's Dad: Well how is your family?
Yaki: Well They all got killed in a freak accident I'm trying very hard to find my living relatives.
Ryu's Dad: You sound so casual as if that is not the truth or it's just me.
Ryu: I think its just you old man.
Ryu's Dad: Give me respect my son anyway how old are you?
Yaki: 19.
Ryu's Dad: Well that is a small age difference but I bet Ryu would like an older woman.
Latter outside.
Ryu: Well you don't have to take my dad seriously.
Yaki: But I will why else would I dress in drag to foul your dad.
Ryu: But you don't even know me!
Yaki: Well there is something but I'll not tell you until after the wedding.
Ryu: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!
Yaki: Lets just say I'm a dead ringer or something like that.
Ryu: Great I'm gonna marry a person in drag who I can't understand.
Yaki: Look whose talking.
Ryu gets mad.
Yaki: I was only joking!
Latter at Aturu's house.
Aturu: Why is this happing to me?
Yaki: Jeez man you don't know but I know what will get you out of this slump.
Aturu: Seppuku (ritual suicide)?
Yaki: No the freakin' mall.
Aturu: I prefer ritual suicide.
Yaki: Come on.
At the mall.
When they enter the mall two strange people are at the front.
Jay: What's up?
Yaki: Oh its you guys. Why you here?
Jay: I should be asking the same question bitch were only here in Japan cause' lard boy over here want's to meet Yoshitaka Amano cause Silent Bob always wanted to meet him ever since he saw vampire Hunter D he even forced me to learn Japanese worse thing is they won't teach yaw the Freaking' "F" word man.
Aturu: Who are these guys?
Yaki: Aturu meet Jay and Silent Bob.
Aturu: Who?
Yaki: Two friends I met at a Quick an' Stop doing another type of guardian biz for this guy called Dante who was a clerk there.
Aturu: Uhhhhhhhh---Huuuuuuuuh.
Yaki: Why Yeah here?
Jay: To meet Akira Toiryama and Yakshitaka Amano who are doing autographs at the mall.
Yaki: By the way how do you know Japanese?
Jay: Silent Bob wanted me to do all the talking because yeah know.
Aturu: Why?
Yaki: His name is Silent Bob.
Aturu: Oh.
Yaki: (in English) Why don't you just say Kame-hame-hame-ha to Toiryama-sama.
Silent Bob: (in English) No shit.
Aturu: Wha!?
Yaki: Never Mind lets just go to a store.
Aturu: How about Kione's Secret (My made up Japanese Version of Victoria's Secret).
Yaki: No how about the Sound Shop (a Music store I made up).
They had then gone off to the sound shop.
Aturu: So what you gonna get?
Yaki: Possibly this one.
Yaki is holding up Nirvana's In Utero.
Aturu: Whatever man I really don't like this Seattle band stuff any way I'm going to get Are You Experienced by The Jimi Hendrix Experience.
Yaki: I like Hendrix too but I really like Nirvana man any way this has totally get your mind off getting married.
Aturu: don't remind me.
Narrator: And that is the end of this episode. But we shall see more of the type of life at Tomaboki see yahoo.
The end till next time.