Life Partners

by Tracy

Third in the Partners Series of stories. Is married life going to be peaceful for Peter?

Life Partners by Tracy LeCates

Two weeks following the wedding, Kermit and Karen returned from their honeymoon in the Carribean. Their blessedly uneventful honeymoon. Karen returned to the 101st, without her husband, to her office, with its newly stenciled door. She worked her way through a barrage of questions from her squad of detectives, all needing to know how the trip had been, and was it true that Kermit had turned in his badge?

"Captain Griffin". She smiled at the lettering from her desk. It would take some getting used to, not seeing him sitting behind his computer, pounding at the keyboard grinning cryptically, and talking to himself, but their decision had been the right one. She was convinced of that. Besides, it would make seeing him every night that much better.

She spotted Peter Caine, arriving a few minutes late, heading straight for the coffee. "Good morning," she greeted him with a relaxed smile on her tanned face.

"Captain! It's been two weeks already?" he laughed, "You look great! How was the trip?"

"Thank you. It was...wonderful. It doesn't seem possible that two weeks could have gone by so quickly. I'm surprised you didn't take a honeymoon yourselves."

Peter took a moment to reply quietly, "Well, Nicole wanted to keep busy."

Karen also lowered her voice, "How is she?"

"Good, fine." Peter nodded with a half smile. "She's been dealing with everything better than I thought she would... this thing with her brother and not being a cop anymore. My father's been a big help, they've been spending a lot of time together. And having this new project has kept her focused."

"Yes, I imagine it would." Karen's eyes moved about the squadroom. "It'll be quiet around here without them."

"Yeah. It will," Peter agreed, looking just a little forlorn. Working alone again had taken some getting used to. "But, she's excited about it, and Kermit always said he was only a cop because Paul gave him a badge."

"He was anxious to get to their new office this morning. Like a kid on his first day of school."

"Yeah, well, Nicole's spent the past two weeks getting everything 'just so' for their first day as the hottest team of P.I.'s this city's ever seen." His laughter reached his eyes. "I had to talk her out of her brainchild for the business cards though."

"What do you mean?" Karen asked, an almost apprehensive look on her face.

Peter's grin widened. "Do you really want your husband handing out business cards all over the city that read "Griffin-Caine Investigations - 'We Used To Kill People For A Living'"?"

*****

"Hey, Griffin! You managed to get through your honeymoon in one piece?" Nicole grinned from ear to ear at her new business partner, just coming through the door to their new office suite.

"God! Nicole, you didn't have to do all this yourself!" he protested in amazement. The office was completely set up. They'd discussed trying to get a space in the office building around the corner from the 101st, but that was as far as it had officially gone. Nicole had, in his absence, picked out a corner suite, painted and furnished it, printed business cards, purchased the cutting edge in technology - phones, faxes, computers...

Nicole brushed off his protestations, her energy level high. "I know... I hope you don't mind, but I was anxious to get started. And this corner office was going to get snapped up pretty quick if we didn't take it. And I thought I'd surprise you."

"I love it." Kermit nodded happily, surveying his new 'home' with a certain sense of pride. This was his, his and Nicole's, something they would build from the ground up together. They'd offered Peter a share of the partnership, but he'd declined, stating that in his heart he was still too much of a cop to join the private sector.

"So, how was the trip? How's Karen?" Nicole asked, pouring coffee for both of them.

"Wonderful. Peaceful. Didn't have to take my gun out once. A nice change of pace after the wedding ceremony. I'd recommend it to anyone," he told her pointedly, taking a good look at her face. "In fact, I'd recommend it to you. You look a little green."

"A little green? Take the glasses off, Kermit," Nicole replied a little self-consciously.

Kermit peered over the top of his glasses. "Seriously."

"It's nothing. I'm just a little queasy lately. No big deal. Must be something going around." She shrugged, munching on a saltine cracker.

"Uh-huh... How long have you been feeling like that?" he asked, really getting a good look at her.

"Couple weeks. But it's nothing!" she insisted. "It comes and goes. I'm just not getting enough rest, that's all. Peter snores..."

"Upset stomach?" he ventured.

Nicole's tone was becoming defensive, but Kermit was used to that by then. "A little. But it passes."

Kermit began to smile, his suspicions taking root.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"Nothing. Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"No. It's nothing! God! Keep this third degree up and I won't give you your pick of offices after all!"

*******

Peter knocked on the bathroom door. He'd woken up at 6:00 a.m., disappointed to find the other side of the bed empty, and the sound of running water in the bathroom. Now, almost 30 minutes later, he could still hear the water running in the sink, and he'd yet to see any signs of his wife. "Nick? You okay?" he called through the locked door.

"Fine," her voice came back, barely audible through the door.

Peter raised his voice. "Are you going to be much longer? I need to take a shower..."

"Be out in a minute."

Fifteen minutes later Peter was back at the door. "Nick? Let me in." He no longer cared about the shower.

"In a minute, Peter."

"Now, Nicole."

Nicole responded to the no-nonsense tone in his voice, and the full name he hardly ever used with her. The door opened a few seconds later. Her face was pale. She was still in her robe.

"Nick, what's the matter? You look awful." He lay his hands on her shoulders and sat her down on the edge of the tub, kneeling on the floor in front of her. "Maybe I should get my father? Or take you to a doctor?"

She shook her head. "I don't think that's necessary, Peter."

"I do. You've been sick on and off for weeks. Maybe you've got some kind of virus."

Nicole laughed nervously. "Yeah...the nine month kind."

Peter stared at her incredulously. Could he have misunderstood the implication? His heart skipped a beat. "You're pregnant?" he asked quietly, an excited smile starting to pull at his lips.

Nicole took the plastic wand from the ledge on the sink and held it out for his inspection. "That's what the little + sign on the stick I peed on means," she answered, starting to smile a little.

The joy in Peter's heart was overflowing at the sight of that little + sign. "This is the most incredible thing...." he stammered happily, "I mean...this is amazing! This is wonderful! Isn't it?" he asked uncertainly, looking at her face. He'd told her not even two months ago she didn't have to make up her mind about this right now, and they hadn't brought up the subject since... and now...

"This has got to be the scariest thing that's ever happened to me," she admitted, her smile growing wider against her will as she felt his sheer ecstatic joy and saw the love in his eyes. "Yeah...it's wonderful! But I'm terrified." She threw her arms around him, so relieved to have shared the news with him.

"Terrified of what?" he asked, holding her tightly.

"Peter! This is a big, big deal! It's not like a job where if you're not suited to it you can just quit! What if I don't know what to do? What if I'm no good at this?" She finally voiced the thoughts she'd been harboring since she purchased the home pregnancy test the day before.

"Nick, nobody knows what to do!" Peter assured her. "Especially the first time! Kids don't come with instruction manuals, but you're hardly in this alone. Now, you just go call Kermit and tell him you're not coming in today."

"But I feel okay and -"

Peter cut her protest off with a soft kiss, his eyes bright with excitement. "And I'm taking the day off, too. You need some rest. Then we're going to go see a doctor, and get you checked out, just to be sure. Then we're going shopping."

"Shopping? You want to go shopping?" She stared at him as though he'd been snatched and replaced by a pod person.

"I want to go shopping. We're going to need a crib...and toys and stuffed animals and clothes and blankets and..." Peter trailed off, happily overwhelmed as he grabbed her into a laughing embrace again.

"Okay, okay! A day off it is!" she agreed, allowing herself to be swept up in the moment. The quietly nagging voice of doubt in the back of her mind was being drowned out by the screaming voice of joy. Maybe things would be all right after all.

*******

Nicole's pregnancy became physically bearable as the morning sickness faded, after another month. Emotionally, however...it was the rollercoaster ride from hell for her and everyone who crossed her path. Peter never knew what he was walking into when he came home at night. Her raging hormones had her up and down like a yo-yo during her first trimester. The doctors insisted there was nothing wrong physically.

Some nights he came home to find her hard at work, going over reports, billings and accounts, and on these occasions she barely even grunted at him to acknowledge his existence. Other nights he'd come home and find her in tears, sobbing hysterically that she was going to blow up like a house and how could he possibly love her then. These were the worst days. No matter what he said or did, he was wrong, and it only made things worse. Of course it made the rare days when she couldn't keep her hands off of him all that much sweeter.

He walked into the offices of Griffin-Caine Friday night, prepared to walk on eggshells. But the only one he spotted in the office was his friend Kermit, a familiar sight, sitting behind his new state of the art computer, banging at the keyboard, grinning and mumbling. "Hey."

Kermit jumped at the sound of another voice. "God, Peter, walk a little louder would you please? You're getting to be more like your father all the time."

"Why so jumpy?" Peter asked with a nervous smile, already suspecting the answer.

Kermit looked around before replying quietly, "I thought you were... her."

"That's what I thought," Peter laughed. "Where is she, and more importantly, HOW is she?"

"The where I know. The how I couldn't tell you. She's at EuroMotors in Castleton."

"Oh, right. The 'skimming'. What's she doing, grilling everyone within an inch of their lives?"

"No. If the owners wanted it handled that way, they would have called the cops!" Kermit laughed. "She's undercover. The owners gave her a job."

"Selling cars? They'll go out of business!"

"Actually, they're letting her play Service Manager. They go through five or six a year for some reason."

"This isn't at all dangerous, is it? I mean, the person you're trying to finger is just embezzling, nothing else, right?"

"Pete, would I let your pregnant wife take anything dangerous on?"

"Could you stop her if she wanted to?"

"Good point. Look, she should be back shortly, closing time's 6:00 down there." Kermit reclined his chair, put his feet up on his desk and made himself comfortable. "How are you holding up?"

Peter laughed. "My father gave me something for her. Some kind of herbal mixture he promises will help level her out."

"And you ran right over here to give it to her? You couldn't wait until she got home?" Kermit laughed. Peter was ragged.

"Wouldn't you?"

"I gotta admire your guts, Kid. Going to sleep in the same room with that woman and a loaded firearm." Kermit gave an involuntary shudder at the thought.

"I sleep with one eye open," he admitted. "So how are you doing, you adjusting to the new life?"

"Oh, yeah. Married life was never so good. And I should know. Business is good, keeps me off the streets. I'm a happy man."

"Not bored? Just a little?"

"Bored? Bored? I think I've been in more danger in this office with your wife for the past couple weeks than I ever was out in the middle of combat in some third world nation." He paused, checking his watch. "She was supposed to call in by now," he groaned, eager to call it a week.

"You want to go home, I'll stick around and wait for her call," Peter offered.

Kermit considered the offer for a moment. The thought of sitting, waiting for a phone call to say everything was fine and she was heading for home...or leaving now and getting home to his wife. He thought about it for only a moment before making a grab for his jacket, "See ya'!"

*****

Peter waited by the phone, played with the new computer, and watched the clock. Kermit said the garage closed down at 6:00. It was after 9:00 when the phone finally rang. "Griffin-Caine," Peter answered, just in case.

"Peter?"

"Nick?"

"What are you doing there?"

"Relieving your partner. You know how those newlyweds are, right?" he asked, just a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh. Well, I'm leaving soon. I should be home in an hour or so."

"An hour? You're ten minutes away, Nick."

"I know, there's..." she lowered her voice to a bare whisper, "there's something I need to look at first."

Peter's nerves jumped. He knew that tone of voice. She was about to step in something. "I'll be right over, stay put."

"NO!" she yelled into the phone, then hushed her voice. "Damnit, Peter, stay there. I just need to get a look at something when the salesmen all go home. That's all, no big deal. I don't need you to come running down here. I'll be home later."

"Nick..." Peter started to protest, but she'd broken the connection already.

*****

It was almost 11:00 before Peter heard her key turn in the lock. "Hi!" she called, throwing herself down on the couch next to him and kissing his cheek. Peter didn't respond. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Peter? What?"

Peter stared at her for a moment. She honestly didn't know why he was upset. "I'm tired. It's late," he said with emphasis, staring at the clock on the wall.

"Oh..." She glanced at her watch. "Sorry. Those stupid salesmen hung around the showroom longer than I thought they would. I couldn't get into the sales manager's office until they were gone. Sorry."

"I was getting worried."

Nicole looked taken aback. "I said I was sorry."

"I just don't like you working such long days. You're pregnant and you should be getting more rest."

"Is that what this is about?" She drew back a little. "Peter I'm in my first trimester. I'm in excellent health. I'm fine! I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't working a long day."

"You could...oh, I don't know, spend a little time with your husband?"

"Well, you're right about one thing. I should get more rest. I'll start right now. I'm going to bed." Her tone was icy as she stalked off to the bedroom.

*******

Peter rose first. He never slept well with so much on his mind. He lay in bed for a while, staring at his wife's back. It was the first time since before they'd been married they'd gone to bed with something angry between them. And it hurt. He wanted to put his arms around her now and pull her close, regain what was missing...things shouldn't be like this now...they were both pursuing careers they loved, they were expecting their first child... Peter fought back his own needs, instead quietly getting out of bed, heading for the shower. It was Saturday and he didn't know what to do with himself. Maybe his father would be in the mood for some company. He would let her sleep, she needed it. They could talk this out later.

She was up when he emerged from the steamy bathroom. Her inner alarm had not let her rest. "Peter, you turned off the alarm clock."

"Good morning. I thought you could use the rest."

"I almost overslept, I have to get to the garage."

"Good morning. It's Saturday."

"Good morning," she relented. "It'll be easier for me to talk to some of the salesmen. I'm going to look like I want to buy a car. What's this?" she asked, holding up the vial Caine had given Peter the day before.

"That's for you. Something my father makes. It's to make you...feel better," he told her cautiously. "I'll come with you today, maybe between the two of us we can wrap this up quicker."

"Peter, I don't plan on needing backup," she rejected his offer.

"Nick..." He slipped his arms around her and felt her resolve to be angry with him start to melt away, "I love you."

"Then trust me. Please??" she kissed him quickly, slipping the vial into her purse and heading to the bathroom for a record breaking shower. She was out the door before Peter had even finished pouring his coffee.

*****

Sunday she opened up the shop and hit paydirt. One of the salesmen was not only embezzling company funds, but he was using 'dealer swaps' to transport large amount of marijuana in the trunks of the new cars.

Nicole raced gleefully over to Kermit and Karen's house to fill them in.

"Kermit's not here...come in," Karen offered, opening the door, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing! As a matter of fact, everything's great!" she almost cheered, "We got 'em!"

"Got who?"

"Well, let's just say you're going to want to send a couple of cars down to EuroMotors first thing in the morning..." Nicole filled Karen in as they sat in the living room waiting for Kermit to arrive home.

"Well, I'll deal with your friends tomorrow," Karen assured her, sitting quietly for a few moments before broaching a personal subject with her former detective. "How are things going at home, Nicole? Peter's seemed a little distracted this past week or so."

"Distracted?"

"Actually...upset might be a better word for it."

"Upset about what?" Nicole asked, half knowing and dreading where this conversation was headed.

"About the hours you've been working. About the strain you've been putting on yourself."

"I'm fine," she tried to assure Karen.

"Nicole, Peter loves you."

"And I love him!" she insisted.

"Then you need to let HIM know that!" Karen raised her voice, "Because I don't think he knows that anymore. I know he's overprotective, and I know he drives you crazy sometimes, but it's because he's worried. And with good reason. You're working too hard. You cannot keep up the same pace you did before while you're expecting a baby. It's not good for you and it's not good for the baby and it's not good for your marriage." Karen felt better already, she'd wanted to get that off her chest. She realized it might be viewed as 'none of her business', but she cared about the two people concerned.

"But..."

"Do you want to remain married?" Karen cut right to the point.

Nicole's reply was immediate, "Yes."

"Do you want this child?"

"Yes." The reply came just as quickly, but quieter. She cast her eyes down to the floor. "Yes, I do," she repeated.

Karen smiled and reached out a gentle hand to the younger woman's shoulder. "Then go home. Take a little time off, you've got the goods on your guy, let the police handle it from here. Go home."

*****

On the other side of town Peter was seated at the bar in Delancy's, hearing similar advice from his long time friend.

"Go home, Pete."

"And do what? Sit there and stare at the clock? She's not coming back anytime soon. She gets so wrapped up in what she's doing that she has no concept of time."

"It's time you faced the fact that you're not married to a China Doll, my friend. You treat her like one and she's gonna blow for good."

"So what am I supposed to do? Sit back and not say anything?"

"Think about it a minute," Kermit insisted. "When you get all over her about something, what does she do?"

"She goes right out and does it anyway," he replied in frustration.

"Exactly. Because you say 'no'. If you'll think back just a few short months ago, you might recall that you didn't used to treat her like you do now. She's not used to you badgering her about where she is and what she's doing etc, etc. You used to trust her, and if you remember, she was fine. If there's one thing you can count on about that woman, it's that she doesn't react too well to being told what to do. If you just leave her alone, the way you used to when you were partners, she'll stop!"

Peter opened his mouth to reply, and stopped. Kermit was right. He'd trusted her when they were partners. And she'd been fine. He'd started treating her differently since the pregnancy, and she was rebelling. Whether she was aware of it or not was beyond the point. The point was to learn how to make a change. Now.

"Go home, Peter. If you want this marriage to work, you have to remember who it is that you married. She can take care of herself if you just let her."

Peter walked out the door, leaving Kermit to heave a sigh of relief before he went up the phone to call his wife.

*****

Nicole arrived back at the penthouse, and found it empty. Feeling more than a little disappointed, she shed her garage clothes, and headed for a long shower.

When she finally emerged, feeling infinitely better, she found the living room darkened, flickering candles providing the only light. A huge bouquet of roses bloomed in a crystal vase on the table. She smiled and looked around for the culprit.

Peter rose from the couch at the sight of her smiling. It wasn't a sight he'd seen much of recently. "You're home," he said without any edge to his voice.

"Wanted to spend some time with my husband," she told him quietly, sliding her arms around his neck. "You were right, I've been spending too much time at work. And I'm going to stop that right now. In fact, I'm taking a week off, starting immediately."

Peter's face lit up. "I'm glad to hear it. Maybe I'll take a couple days off with you. And, I'm sorry, too. I was just worried about you and the baby."

"I should try to remember what I said to you in the temple."

"What?" he asked, pulling her closer.

"You know, that you'd have to adjust to the fact that I can take care of myself, and I have to adjust to the fact that you won't adjust to the fact that I can take care of myself," she laughed, pulling him to her for a long, deep kiss. "I'm so sorry about this week, Peter...I love you..." she whispered as his lips brushed along her jaw, down her neck.

"Me too," he whispered back as his hand went to the cord which held her white terry cloth robe closed. His hands slipped inside her robe, caressing her gently.

"Oh, Peter..." she moaned....in pain as she pulled away and half fell onto the couch.

"Nick?" He knelt in front of her, his heart pounding in his chest. "What's wrong?"

"I, ah, I don't feel so good. I feel faint..."

Peter ran into the bedroom, returning in an instant with a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. "I'm taking you to the hospital," he told her as calmly as he could, slipping the shirt over her head.

"Yeah, okay..." She leaned on him as he pulled the sweats on and helped her to the door.

*******

It was safe to say Peter and Nicole Caine were two of the city hospital's least favorite patients. Nurses ran the other way when Peter Caine appeared, orderlies scattered at the sight of Nicole. The fact that she issued no threats or dire warnings, only following obediently into the exam room was a sign of how truly frightened she was.

Peter stood quietly in the hall just outside the door for almost an hour before the doctor emerged. "How is she?" he asked, his voice was anxious.

"You can come in." She held the door open.

Peter followed the doctor back into the room where Nicole sat on the exam table. Peter hiked himself up onto the table beside, putting an arm around her. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"She's fine," the doctor told him, "I examined her and then we had a long talk." The woman's voice held a note of warning. "I'm sending her home with you, but she should see her OBGYN this week for another checkup. Your wife needs to take it a little easier from here on in, or there will be complications. No more long hours, and keep stress to an absolute minimum for a while. Her blood pressure was very high when she came in. It seems to have gone down to a safe level now. She can go home."

"I'll take it easy," Nicole promised both the doctor and he husband solemnly as the doctor turned to leave.

Peter hugged her to him as she began to cry, "I'm sorry, Peter, I'm so sorry...You told me and you told me..."

"Nick, come on, you're okay, the baby's okay."

"Yes, but I almost -"

"Don't," Peter interrupted, he didn't want to even hear the words out loud. "You're okay, and the baby's okay," he repeated, the comfort of the words calming him. "Let's just go home."

Nicole drew back a little from him. "You're shaking."

Peter laughed, wiping at his own eyes, which had begun to tear up a little. "Then maybe you better drive. You really gave me a scare when you didn't even argue about coming in."

"Peter, I want this baby. I never thought I could want this, but I do. I'll do whatever I have to from now on to make sure our baby's born healthy," she promised.

"I know you will. Now let's get out of here. I don't want to see the inside of this place again for another six months. Okay?"

"It's a deal."

*****

Nicole slept until after noon the following day, and Peter was happy to let her. He called in to the precinct when he got up and filled Karen Simms in on the events of the night before. Her concern was clear in her voice, and she urged Peter to take as much time as he needed to stay home and keep Nicole off her feet. She told him to let Nicole know that her friends at EuroMotors had been taken into custody, and everything was fine. She would need a written statement from her at some point, but not to worry about anything.

Peter was headed towards the kitchen, his stomach starting to rumble, but found himself instead in the other bedroom, staring at the purchases they'd made the day he'd found out he was going to be a father. The antique crib Nicole had fallen in love with sat unadorned in the center of the room, the mobiles and stuffed animals, the blankets and baby clothes still in the bags and boxes they'd brought them home in. Somehow there just hadn't been time to complete the task of setting up the nursery. After last night's scare, Peter starting looking for omens everywhere. So instead of breakfast, he set himself to the task.

Pillows and blankets he arranged in the crib, the stuffed animals he placed inside would be the only occupants for the next several months. He put the tiny clothes into the dresser drawers, and hung the colorful mobiles above the crib, then sat spinning the tropical fish and bird figures for a few moments, imagining what it would be like when there was a tiny, living being in the crib below...his own son or daughter.

"You want one of those for our room?" A voice full of good humor came from behind him.

Peter turned quickly with an embarrassed smile on his face. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. The room looks great." She grinned at him, picking up a fluffy stuffed polar bear.

"How do feel this morning?" he asked carefully.

"Good. Rested. I can't believe how long I slept. Been in here all morning?" she asked, sliding her arms around his waist from behind.

"Pretty much. Oh, I called Simms, she pulled your collar in this morning, said everything went well."

"Great!" She squeezed him with enthusiasm. "And that's the last I want to hear about work for the day."

Peter turned and caught her in his arms. "Really?" This was truly a first.

"Really. I'm a reformed woman, with a whole day ahead to spend with my husband doing nothing but relaxing," she assured him, kissing his nose. "Now, how about if I make us something for lunch?"

"How about if I do it?" he offered.

She shook her head in mock horror. "How about if I do it? Remember, we agreed no more trips to the hospital for six months?"

*****

Karen and Kermit showed up at 7:00 P.M., and found their respective co-workers still in their robes, looking more at peace and contented than they'd seen them...well...ever looking.

"Well, this is a surprise!" Nicole greeted them, ushering them into the spacious living room, where a fire crackled in the fireplace. "Get you a glass of wine?"

"We're not interrupting anything?" Kermit asked.

"No." Nicole smiled guiltily. "Now how about that wine?"

"That would be nice," Karen accepted.

"You sit." Peter gently pushed his wife back down onto the couch, kissing her temple. "I'll get it."

Peter returned from the kitchen a moment later with three glasses of wine and a glass of juice in wine glass for Nicole, and prayed that whatever had brought his captain and friend to their doorstep that night had nothing to do with business or a case or something that was going to stress out his wife. "Well, what's up?" he asked, sitting on the sofa.

"We just wanted to come by and see how you were..." Kermit looked at Nicole.

"I'm fine," she smiled, looking visibly relieved. She'd evidently had the same fears Peter had.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," Karen commented, "Because we have a little proposition for you. For both of you, actually."

"Do tell..." Peter uttered nervously.

Karen reached into her bag and withdrew two plane tickets. "We want you to leave town."

"Excuse me?!" Peter choked on his wine.

"For two weeks, anyway," Kermit qualified. "My lovely wife holds in her hands two tickets to St. Thomas. If you'll inspect those tickets you will see that each bears one of your names."

"Oh, Kermit, that's...we..." Nicole began to protest.

"Look, you didn't get a honeymoon. You need one. You need to get out of this city for two weeks, with no phones or pagers or fax machines or modems. We want you to go, and not worry about a thing. In fact, we insist."

"I could make it an order for at least one of you, if necessary," Karen added.

Nicole and Peter glanced at each other and began to grin. "When do we leave?"

*******

Peter dropped Nicole off at the G/C office the morning after they returned from St. Thomas. Two weeks of disuse had killed the battery in the Mustang and she was trickle charging. Peter had welcomed the excuse to thank his friend in person for the two most wonderful weeks of his life.

"Hey! You're back!" Kermit put down the file he'd been reading and stood to welcome his partner and friend. Nicole took him totally by surprise with a warm hug, something she very, very seldom did. "I take it you had a good time...hey...what happened?" he laughed, taking a good look at the two of them, "Did you miss your plane? Did you not go?"

"We went! We had a wonderful time, thank you very much!" Peter insisted, pulling his wife back to his side affectionately.

"What did it do, rain every day? The two of you are as pale as..." Kermit stopped and laughed as realization crossed his face. "Welcome back."

*****

The next four months passed quickly for Peter. He settled into the routine of marriage... checking in if he was going to be late, sharing the chores equally at first, taking on more and more of them as Nicole's pregnancy progressed and it became more difficult for her to do the physical duties of house and home. At seven months she decided to only go into the office once or twice a week. She purchased a new state of the art computer for their home and ordered another phone line, setting up a small office area in the living room so she wouldn't feel completely out of touch.

Caine spent quite a bit of time at the penthouse, working with Nicole on meditation and exercise, but she was simply too uncomfortable physically to do much. Peter had spent a large portion of time reassuring her she wasn't 'as big as a house', but even he had to admit...she was huge. He studied her when she walked, and wondered how it was physically possible. But her 'hormonal rages' had diminished, and that was a good thing for all concerned.

She and Peter discussed names for the baby. Neither had wanted to know the sex of the child before birth, preferring the element of surprise, and knowing it would be their child no matter what its gender. Nicole had wanted Caitlyn Laura for a name if it was a girl, after her and Peter's own biological mothers, and Paul Matthew for a boy, after Blaisdell and Matthew Caine.

They were living the life neither of them ever thought they wanted or needed. And they were happier than they'd ever been. It seemed like they'd been through the worst life could throw at them and had come out stronger for it. It seemed like nothing could ever go wrong.

*******

Nicole woke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath as though she'd been running for miles instead of lying in her own bed for the last 9 hours. Her heart was pounding with the fading images she'd glimpsed in her dream-world. She reached out instinctively for Peter, but her hand encountered only empty space. She looked to the clock and swore softly. It was after 9:00 A.M., of course Peter wasn't there. He'd left for work hours ago, allowing her to get some sleep. Sleep, which had included a rather disturbing dream, which was fading quickly in the clear light of day. Fading except for the feeling...

She shook her head, hoping to clear the aftereffects of the nightmare, but it was rooted too deeply. Suddenly she didn't want to be alone in the big bed anymore, and with a mighty effort and a little leverage, hauled herself up onto her feet.

A shower and cup of herbal tea later she was checking in by phone with Kermit, who had nothing of any great interest to report. They'd gotten calls from three more large companies in the area who wanted their firm to do in-depth security analysis for them, which Kermit happily agreed to do. They charged a handsome fee for this type of consulting work, and gave them their money's worth at a minimum of time invested.

The partners chatted for a while, Kermit hearing something strange in her voice, Nicole insisting it was just a combination of pregnancy and weird food cravings late at night. By the time she put the phone down, the feeling nagging at the back of her mind had gotten louder, and she began to pace the apartment, looking out at the cloudy sky as though waiting for something to fall.

*****

Peter arrived home two hours early, with flowers for his wife. Nicole took one look at the flowers, and the look on his face, and sat down silently. "What's wrong?"

The explaining took only a few minutes. Karen Simms had come to him with an assignment. He would have to go undercover. Deep cover. He was to leave immediately. And he couldn't tell her any more than that.

"No," she stated at the end of his brief explanation.

"Nick...it's only for a few days. Three, four days, tops," Peter soothed, putting his arms around her.

"No!" she shook herself out of his grasp, turning awkwardly to face him on the couch. "How can she ask you to do this? I'm 8 months pregnant, how can she ask you to do this?"

"Sweetheart, she can't just re-schedule crime."

"I don't care! Peter, no! Don't do it, don't go. You can say no!" she insisted. She was loosing grip on her temper, and quickly becoming irrational. "Just tell her no, Peter! Get her to send someone else! She has other detectives!"

"But none that can take this case. None that fit the profile the way I do. I know you're upset, and I'm sorry. I wish it didn't have to be this way. There's nothing I want more than to stay right here with you, but this is important. When I come back, I'll tell you all about it, and you'll understand..."

"I don't want to understand, Peter! I want you to stay!" her voice was rising in that familiar 'I'm gonna cut your heart out' tone Peter remembered so well, despite the fact that he hadn't heard it in months.

"Nick, please, you've gotta calm down...you know it's not good for you to get so upset..."

Nicole began to cry. "You're going anyway, aren't you? No matter what I say or how I feel, you're going to go anyway."

"I have to, Nick. I'm sorry. But everything will be okay. I promise." He reached out for her and she let him take her in his arms, "I love you, Nick."

"I love you, too." She tried desperately to calm her racing heart, there was a ringing in her ears as her blood pressure shot up.

"I'll be in touch with Skalany, she's my contact. And I swear I'll get word to you every day."

"How?"

"I don't know, but I'll find a way. Even if it's just a note on your alpha pager. How's that?" Peter's heart was breaking having to upset her like this so close to her due date.

"Do I have a choice?"

Peter checked his watch and uttered a soft curse. "I can't be late..." he stood and pulled her up with him. "Maybe Jody could come stay with you. Call her, okay? I don't want you here alone."

"Yeah, I'll call her," she promised, wiping the tears from her eyes and embracing him as closely as her pregnant stomach would allow. "You promise...a page every day. Or I'm coming out there after you..."

"I promise," he kissed her softly at the door, and left.

*******

Nicole felt Peter's absence immediately. His car couldn't have been much further than around the block before she felt the light of the room dim, and the warmth leave the penthouse. She'd lived there alone for so long before they'd met, and had never imagined another person's presence there being anything but an annoyance, but he'd changed all of that for her. She walked out onto the terrace and gazed down onto the streets below, knowing that he was out there somewhere, alone, and headed into who knew what...and shivered in the warm night air.

She moved back into the apartment and picked up the phone, and Peter's address book.

"Hello?"

"Jody? It's Nicole..." she began, wishing already she'd just hung up the phone before the other woman had answered. She'd promised Peter, but hadn't realized until that moment how awkward it would be. She quickly explained the jist of Peter's leaving, and her request was stated as though she expected rejection right off.

"Sure. I'll be there in...about an hour," Jody agreed, to her surprise.

Nicole hoped she didn't sound as surprised as she felt. "Okay...I'll, ah, I'll see you then." Nicole replaced the receiver in its cradle and went about making up the bed in the guest room/nursery-in-waiting.

Jody arrived almost exactly one hour later, an overnight bag in hand, and an uncertain smile on her face. She and Nicole had worked together, played poker together, even gone out for drinks together (in a group, of course), but they had never 'bonded' as friends the way she had with Mary Margaret, or had begun to with Jordan before she and Peter called it quits. It wasn't that she didn't like Nicole, she was just so...unapproachable, and unpredictable. The invitation had almost certainly been Peter's idea, she knew, but even Peter couldn't force this woman into doing anything she didn't want to do. "Well. Where should I...?" she gestured to her bag.

"Oh, right, yeah...in here, in the guest room," Nicole led the way down the hall.

"Oh, Nicole," Jody sighed, "I love this room." She gently spun one of the colorful mobiles over the crib and smiled. "And where did you find this crib?"

"Antique shop over on Matlin," she answered, seeing sincerity in Jody's face.

"You two did a super job in here."

"Thanks." Nicole looked appreciatively around the room. They had done a super job. "And thanks for coming over tonight, Jody. I promised Peter I would call you, but...I really didn't want to be alone tonight."

"I'm surprised I was your choice," Jody told her honestly.

Nicole stood and stared at her for a moment, and nodded her head in agreement. Jody had been blunt, but honest with her, she would do the same. "I couldn't think of anyone else to call. I don't really have any female friends. And most of the male friends I have are old mercenaries."

Jody decided that it was now or never. Say it now and clear the air, she thought as she took the plunge, "I guess you know I was opposed to the idea of you and Peter getting married.."

"I figured you would be," Nicole responded without animosity. She was actually grateful that Jody had chosen to broach this subject. She was also grateful for someone not walking on eggshells around 'poor huge pregnant Nicole'. "But I think you would have been less than thrilled with Peter marrying anyone...except you," she looked to the other woman for a reaction, and saw that her words had hit home.

Jody took her time answering, weighing the words and meaning behind them. "Okay. You may be right. I thought you were going to wind up hurting him...but I have to admit I've never seen him so happy. Of course I lost the pool at the office as to how long it was going to be before you stabbed him in his sleep."

"You're sure you feel safe sleeping here tonight? There's no lock on the nursery door, you know." Nicole laughed loudly, smiling for the first time since Peter had walked out the door. "You want some popcorn or something? I'm getting a craving."

With a small portion of the tension between them dissolved, Nicole brought out an enormous bowl of popcorn, a soda, and a glass of wine. "I think white goes with popcorn, doesn't it?"

"Far as I know," Jody answered, settling herself on the sectional sofa.

Nicole lowered herself onto the couch and grinned, "I don't think you have to worry about me stabbing you in your sleep when I can't even get off the couch unassisted."

"Then I'll sleep easier!" she laughed. Maybe the next few days wouldn't be so bad after all, she thought.

As it turned out, sleep was still a long time off for the two of them as they found a surprising number of things to talk about. Jody wound up treating Nicole to some wonderfully embarrassing Peter stories from their first years as partners. Nicole was laughing so hard at one point she thought she would burst.

"What's been going on down there lately? Anything good? I'm afraid Peter just wouldn't tell me if there was...fear of upsetting poor pregnant Nicole."

"Well...no, things have been pretty quiet lately. Except of course that Jordan's been hanging around a lot....oh...I didn't mean..."

"No, that's all right. I'm sure she has been. I didn't know her real well, but I know what an opportunist looks like. And who could blame her for trying? She's still thin and attractive and I'm a whale."

"Nicole, he hasn't even looked at her. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, he's the single most devoted man I've ever laid eyes on. He's not the same Peter he was when you met him."

"You know, maybe I should fix her up with a nice mercenary, so she can have a man of her own and leave mine alone," she ventured with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"Hey, if you have any available male friends, you just save them for your single female friends!" Jody objected with a laugh.

Nicole looked at her companion for a moment and grinned, "Seriously...are you interested in meeting someone?"

Jody took another sip of her wine and considered for a moment before throwing caution to the wind, "Sure. What the Hell. Anybody in particular?"

"Jake Mullaney. Great guy. Accountant, investment counselor, lives uptown, six foot two, blonde hair, green eyes, physique to die for..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jody laughed, "I'm in loooove already! How do you know this guy?"

Nicole got very quiet for a moment before deciding that truth was the best way. "We met in Bosnia."

"Bosnia?! What were the two of you doing in Bosnia?....oh." A light went on in her head as it made sense. "You two 'worked together'?"

"Yes. He's out of the trade now, though. Making an honest living and all that. And he's a terrific guy."

Jody thought about this for a minute and nodded, "Okay. Yeah. You know I'm kind of tired of the guys who freak out on me anytime I mention my day at work. It might be a nice change. Worked for Captain Simms, worked for Peter...maybe mercenary is the way to go!"

As the night wore on, Nicole got a little more edgy, quieting down and beginning to pace the apartment restlessly.

"Nicole? What's wrong? You feel all right?" Jody asked nervously. This was not the time to try out her 'delivery' training she's received at the academy.

"I'm worried, Jody."

"About Peter?"

"Yeah."

"Don't be. He's been on a lot of undercover jobs, Nicole, and he's always been fine. Really. He'll be careful. Probably for the first time in his life, because he knows what he has to come back to. He'll be fine, you'll see."

"I'm just jumpy I guess. Being so close to my due date. Even the baby's been kicking up a storm today." No sooner were the words out of her mouth, than her pager began beeping. She grabbed it from the coffee table and fumbled with the buttons.

The words "Love you" swam up from the LCD, and she breathed a sigh of relief. He was all right. He was fine. He checked in. She could relax. For the moment. She looked up at Jody and smiled. "Time to turn in."

******

Jody rose early and enjoyed the amenities of the penthouse while preparing to leave for work. She didn't wake Nicole before she left, she'd looked pretty tired when she turned in. Instead, she left a note with her pager number, letting her know to call if she needed anything during the day, and that she'd be returning after work.

As Jody made her way to her car in the parking garage downstairs, she saw a familiar figure entering the building, and knew that Peter's wife would be spending the day in the capable hands of Kwai Chang Caine. She smiled as she pulled out onto the street. Caine was at last going to have that grandchild he'd been hinting to Peter about for years now.

*****

Caine felt the sleeping energy from the other side of the apartment door, and quietly let himself in. He set up in the kitchen, preparing a special blend of tea that Nicole was particularly fond of, nurtured the neglected or over-watered plants in the house, and waited for his daughter-in-law to rise.

He didn't have very long to wait. Nicole emerged from the bedroom, yawning and rubbing her back. "Good morning...I thought that was you I heard come in."

"I did not mean to wake you," he apologized with a smile.

"That's all right. I should have been up hours ago, and the old instincts die hard. I promised Kermit I'd take a look at the books today, and that very well could take the whole afternoon."

Caine poured her a cup of tea, and helped her down onto the couch. Peter had solved that problem in one room anyway, actually building a platform which elevated their bed to a height Nicole had no problem managing. "Thanks. So, what brings you by this morning?"

"I understand my son is 'undercover'."

"That's right. He left last night. How did you...?" she nodded knowingly. "Mary Margaret," she concluded.

"Yes," Caine answered without explanation or apology. His long on/off relationship with the detective was something of an enigma that no one really understood. It was more or less simply accepted as something that 'was', and left at that. At least by outside parties.

Nicole knew the answer already, but had to ask, "Did she say where he was?"

Caine gave her a slightly chastising look, "She did not."

"I had to ask."

"I only came by to see how you were feeling, and if you needed anything while he is 'away'. You are looking quite well," he smiled, pleased that she was sticking to her promise of taking good care of herself.

"I feel pretty good, Caine, I really do. Except for the fact that I'm as big as a house, and my back hurts, and I can't stop eating..." she shrugged, "But from what I hear, that's normal."

"Yet, there is something...that troubles you?" Caine asked, trying to catch her eyes.

Nicole fidgeted a little, trying to ease the pain in her back, which started when she was in one position for more than a few minutes, and tried to find the words she needed. "I had a dream the other night. That's all. I can't even remember it really, it just...freaked me out."

"Something to do with the child?" Caine had long ago learned that Nicole's feelings and intuitions, no matter how vague were not something to be overlooked.

"No. Not really. I was talking to Peter, I think, but it wasn't Peter. But it was. I don't know, I just haven't been able to shake that off-center feeling."

Caine told her he understood, and that it was nothing to be concerned about, he was sure, but she saw something in his eyes as she described the vague memory of the dream. As though something had struck him as familiar.

Yet he was still outside the apartment when Jody returned from work that evening. As though he had been waiting to make sure she got there. Jody got the uneasy feeling that they were trading shifts.
*****

"Mary Margaret, did Peter report in last night?" Nicole asked the tired voice on the other end of the line.

"....no. He didn't," the detective was trying to keep the worry out of her own voice. There was probably a good reason that Peter had failed to check in. "Let's give him a couple of hours before we start jumping to conclusions. You've been on plenty of these operations yourself, Nicole, and you know as well as anyone that you can't always report in down to the minute that you're supposed to...sometimes you miss a day...because it's more important not to blow your cover..."

"He didn't page me like he was supposed to either. What does your gut tell you, Mary Margaret?" Nicole prodded her quietly.

Skalany's heart jumped at the question. She didn't want to upset Nicole, but she didn't want to lie either. "My gut tells me he should have reported in by now. I'll call you back," she hung up the phone and started for the door, cursing loudly all the way.

*****

Morning turned into afternoon, and Nicole sat clutching her pager. Still no word from Peter. She'd given up sitting at home, and had driven down to the 101st to sit at Peter's desk and stare at the people coming and going, none of whom knew where Peter was. Skalany and Karen Simms had been less than thrilled with her presence, but there was little they could do to force her to leave.

Karen had requested that her husband return to the 101st in an unofficial capacity, and together with Skalany, Kermit searched the area Peter had last reported in from, with no sign of him. By the time night fell, they were both getting very, very nervous. Neither of them wanted to go back to the precinct and tell Nicole that her husband was now officially considered missing.

*******

Jody stayed past her shift to be with Nicole. The two of them made phone call after phone call, pulling in every favor owed to them by their contacts out in the streets, but no one had seen Peter Caine in days.

Just before midnight, Skalany and Kermit returned. They had nothing to report, but had met Peter's father on the way up. With Caine's appearance, they all knew something was very wrong.

He wore a distressed look on his normally peaceful features, and insisted that Jody take Nicole home. "You must rest now. I will...continue to search for Peter, with Kermit and Mary Margaret, if they will help me." He looked imploringly at his friends.

"Oh, yeah." Kermit replied with what he hoped was a confident smile. "We'll have him home before morning, Nicole, don't worry."

"Kermit, this is ME you're talking to, don't give me the 'go home and be a good little wife' routine, or 'before morning' you're gonna find a doctor surgically removing those green glasses from a very, very personal place!"

Kermit flinched, but stood his ground. "Please. Nicole. Go home. I will call you the second I hear anything at all, I promise." He steered her towards the door, "Jody, take her home. Stay with her and make sure she stays put, please?"

Jody reluctantly nodded, and herded the still loudly protesting woman out the door and down the stairs.

*****

Kermit turned to Caine after Nicole was gone, "Where to?"

"Take me to the last place you had contact with my son," he stated, with an unusual sense of urgency to his voice.

*****

Jody managed to get Nicole all the way home before she blew. "I can't believe this is HAPPENING!" Nicole let fly with a string of obscenities that made Jody wince.

"Nicole, calm down, we've got every available person out there looking for him. Even Caine and Kermit - now if anybody can find Peter, they can...it'll be all right - he knows how to take care of himself." Even as she said the words, she was trying to convince herself.

"Calm down??? God, Jody I feel so useless! I should be out there looking for him too!!! I knew he shouldn't have gone!"

"Nicole..."

"Jody...what if something happened to him?" Her voice turned cold and dead. "What if..." she was unable to finish the thought. Her eyes went wide, "Oh, my god..." Panic filled her voice as her breathing became rapid and shallow.

"What? Nicole? What?"

"Oh...Jody...get the car keys..."

"Nicole, I'm not taking you out there to stay up all night looking for Peter." She put her foot down.

"No...but you're taking me to the hospital..." she groaned, heading for the door. "I think I'm in labor..."
*****
Jody paced outside the hospital room, much as she'd done so many times in the past with Peter, wishing to hell she was anywhere else but there. Where was Peter? This was his kid, probably being born at that very moment, and where the hell was Peter?

A nurse emerged from the room, looking more than a little annoyed. Obviously a veteran of more than one Caine patient. "How is she?" Jody asked, trying to appear calm. This was entirely too much pressure to put on a new friendship.

"How is she always? She's angry, that's how she is," the nurse answered gruffly. "It was a false alarm."

"False...?"

"False labor. No doubt induced by that temper of hers. You can go in now, but she's staying here for the duration," the nurse informed her unhappily and walked away.

Jody opened the door and caught the tale end of the lecture the doctor was laying onto Nicole. "I can't let you go home. You have a history now of hypertension during this pregnancy. You've got another three weeks to go to term, and we'd like to see you carry that out. And in order for that to happen...you'll be our guest here for the next couple of weeks. Have your friend here," she pointed at Jody, "bring you whatever you need from home." She shut the chart with a snap, her decision final, and walked away quickly before Nicole had a chance to argue.

"You okay?" Jody asked quietly, approaching the bed.

"No." Nicole crossed her arms in a defensive gesture, miserable and uncomfortable. "Sorry. It's not your fault. I'm glad you were there tonight...thanks."

"No problem. Well. You want to make a list for me? Stuff you need?" Jody offered, smiling as she sat down on the bed, relieved that Nicole hadn't gone and given birth in Peter's absence.

"The only thing you can bring me right now is Peter," she said quietly, closing her eyes in frustration.

*****

Caine solemnly examined the area of the pay phone in the bar that Peter had used to make his last report from. It was near dawn, and everyone's nerves were completely shot. Even Caine was looking frayed around the edges from lack of sleep and worry. He sat on the floor, the owner of the bar who had been dragged out of his bed to come open up again stood nearby watching with impatient interest. Caine seemed to be meditating deeply, his breathing shallow, his eyes closed, but moving beneath his eyelids.

Kermit and Mary Margaret stood nearby, watching and waiting. They'd been unable to come up with anything conventional that would lead them to Peter, and if anybody could find him...

Caine's eyes opened wide, and he climbed quickly to his feet, going for the door, wordlessly signaling his companions to follow. Skalany thanked the owner of the bar on her way by him at a half run, trying to catch up with Caine.

The two detectives followed the Shaolin through the streets of the city, winding a path through alleyways where the homeless littered the streets like so much human trash. Suddenly Caine stopped, crying out as he grabbed at his thigh as though he'd been shot, or stabbed.

"Caine?!" Mary Margaret cried, rushing to his side, but he was already back up, without sign of injury. He continued to move down the street, and rounded a corner, just as a door slammed in the alley.

Peter Caine lay in the alley where he'd been discarded.

*******

Caine dropped to the ground beside his son, who had begun to shake violently. "Pop?" He looked up for a brief moment, before his eyes glazed over, and his body went into spasms.

Kermit grabbed for his cell phone, calling for an ambulance. "What the Hell's going on, Caine?" he asked, trying to help Caine hold Peter still.

"He is having a...seizure," Caine explained with quiet worry. "We must get to a hospital right away."

"Ambulance is on its' way...Hang on, Pete...hang on," he told his friend, who was beyond hearing him.
*******

Kermit stood in Nicole's hospital room with Caine, shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. Jody had put a call in to Captain Simms once they had reached the hospital, letting her know what was going on on their end.

"Kermit? Caine? What's...what's going on...? Did you find Peter?"

Kermit nodded, "Yeah, we did..." he held up his hand quickly for her silence, wanting to get out what was important before she interrupted. "He's all right, he's here, they're checking him out."

"Then why do you both look like that?" she asked, suspiciously. "There's something you're not telling me...Peter's really all right, isn't he?"

"Yeah...sure..." Kermit answered, looking to Caine.

"He has not been seriously injured, physically," Caine continued.

"But...?" she prompted, sitting up.

"He appears to be suffering from something other than the obvious wounds that were inflicted upon him," Caine hedged, trying to find some way of telling her what she need to know without upsetting her dangerously.

"AND?"

"The doctors believe he may have been administered a dosage of insulin..."

"All right, insulin, that's for...diabetics or something, right? So what does it do in this case? What's wrong with him?"

"He had a seizure," Kermit continued.

"A seizure...? But...he's...he's all right, though? Can I see him?"

"Nicole, he is having trouble...remembering."

"Remembering...remembering what? Remembering who did this to him? Who cares anymore?! Remembering what?"

"Remembering the past year and half," Kermit volunteered, taking the pressure from Caine's shoulders. "The last thing he remembers is an incident about a year and a half ago."

Nicole sat in her hospital bed, stunned and staring. She was beyond shocked. The expression in her eyes sharpened to that of devastation as she realized the implications of Kermit's words. "He doesn't...he...he has no idea...that..." her hand went to her swollen stomach, rubbing gently. "I have to see him." She began to get out of the bed.

"Nicole, no..."

Kermit put his hand on her arm to stop her and she whirled around. "Kermit, you're going to need a bed of your own here if you don't get that hand offa me," she warned.

"Nicole, the doctors believe that his memory may come back on its own...perhaps with a little time and therapy...in small pieces, or all at once...but they have warned that any serious shock."

"Such as finding out he has a wife and a kid on the way," Kermit filled in. "Might cause more damage than it would good. They've advised us not to tell him anything specific about the time he can't recall."

"I have to see him," she insisted.

"It would not be -"

"I won't tell him who I am!" Her voice was reaching a dangerous level, the last thing they needed was for her to go into labor again before it was time. "Just...say I'm a friend of yours..." she begged the two of them, trying to calm herself down. "Just say I'm a bored patient here, wandering around looking for company! I've got to see him, please."

Kermit and Caine exchanged glances, and Caine nodded almost imperceptibly. "We will take you to him. But you must try not to become too upset. For your sake, his, and your child's," Caine warned.

*****

Peter's eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light in the hospital room. He knew where he was. He was in the hospital again. Why he was there, he wasn't quite sure, and no one was giving him answers. He was sore and bruised, his arm hurt, his leg hurt...he must have been jumped.

Kermit, Skalany and his father had all been there with him when he woke up. He wanted to go home. He hadn't been shot or anything, but the doctor had been in, asking him all sorts of crazy questions for about an hour, like he'd lost his mind or something. *They must just be really sick of seeing me,* he thought.

The door to his room opened, and his father stepped back in, with Kermit and...a woman. A very, very pregnant woman, in a hospital issue bathrobe accompanied them into his room. Her long dark hair was braided loosely, and she wore little make-up. She stood about five foot nine, and was absolutely beautiful. He would have turned around on the street to look twice at her, pregnant or not. Peter sat up, a little confused.

"Oh, Peter...Thank God..." The woman's gray eyes shone with relief and unshed tears. "You're awake..."

"Who'er you?" Peter mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Did he know this woman? He tried to think, maybe she was someone he'd helped? A mugging victim?

Nicole stood silent, completely unable to deal with actually hearing those words. Her head was spinning, she felt dizzy, and fought back the hysterical laughter which threatened. Nothing Kermit or Caine could have said to her could have prepared her for the heartache of those words. After what seemed to her to be an eternity, she heard her own voice whispering the words, "I'm...a friend of your father's," as the tears threatened to overflow her red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh..." Peter sat up a little, looking at his father. "Pop? What's goin' on? When am I getting outta here?" he asked. "And where's Jordy? Did anybody call her? She's probably worried."

*******

Kermit got Nicole out of Peter's room just in time. They were no sooner out in the hall before her tears let go. Kermit pulled his friend and business partner close to him, wrapping his arms around her, and let her sob her heart out on his shoulder. Her hot tears soaked into his suit jacket, but she said nothing. He held her up and supported her as he walked her back to the elevator, and took her to her room on the second floor, putting her to bed.

Nicole stopped crying as Kermit pulled the blanket up over her and sat on the bed, holding her hand, but still she said nothing. She wasn't crying, she wasn't talking, and she wasn't yelling or cursing. Kermit was getting nervous. This was not Nicole behavior, and he knew it. "Nicole?" He squeezed her hand. "Peter's gonna be fine. The doctor said it could all just come right back to him overnight. This is just temporary," he assured her. "You'll see."

Nicole just lay her head on his shoulder as he slipped an arm around her. She, for once, accepted his friendship and comfort without threats of physical harm. 'So this is the other Nicole' he thought to himself, 'the one Peter married.'

She was speechless. Her mind was reeling, stuttering. She was having trouble forming a coherent thought, never mind speaking it out loud. She nodded against his shoulder in mute acknowledgment of his statement, and presence. She was profoundly grateful for this friend holding her.

"You gotta get some sleep, kiddo. We'll deal with this in the morning. I'll do what ever I can, you know that. His father's with him now, the doctors are with him...what you need to do is take care of yourself and that baby." She nodded again, weakly. "Want me to stay for a while? 'Til you fall asleep?"

Nicole didn't even have the strength to reply. She nodded once again and closed her eyes, praying that when she woke up she'd be home, in bed, her husband lying beside her... and that this nightmare would be over.

*****

"Pop? Who was that woman?" Peter asked, sitting up. He was tired and sore, his head was swimming in thoughts and images which made no sense, and it hurt. Things were getting jumbled in his head.

"A friend," Caine replied softly, hating to have to do this to the two of them, but seeing the logic and reasoning behind it.

"What's she doing here? In the hospital? Is she all right?" he asked, the concern in his voice confusing even him.

"She is a patient here. She heard you had just been admitted. She wanted to see how you were feeling."

"She looked so sad...there's nothing wrong with her baby, is there?" Peter questioned softly. There had been something in the woman's eyes when she looked at him. A look of longing and loss.

"No, there is not. The baby is fine," his father replied strongly. "She is going through a very difficult personal trial right now."

"Something you're helping her with?" Peter asked, not really knowing why he cared. After all, he was in the hospital too, and wasn't sure why. "What happened to me, Pop? Was I jumped?" He reached up and touched his face. His lip was swollen and the skin around his eye as well. There was a lump on his head which throbbed.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Caine asked.

Peter cast his mind back. "Leaving work...Jordy and I had a big fight this morning... at least, I think it was this morning. I just... Pop I don't know what to do about her. She wants more than I can give her. I'm just not ready for... for all that yet." He felt frustrated at the thought. And disloyal somehow. He should call her. She'd be worried about him. No, not her. He should call...someone. The thought came and went like a breeze.

"You remember leaving work?" Caine prompted.

"Yeah. I was gonna go home, get some sleep. Lots going on this week. My new partner starts tomorrow..." he trailed off. "Pop, can we maybe talk about this later. I just...I'm tired." His head was starting to spin again.

"Rest, my son. I will be here when you wake up," Caine assured him gently as Peter lay back down and closed his eyes.

*****

Peter was dreaming. Even in his dream, he knew he was dreaming. A scene played out before him, over and over again at varying speeds. The cold darkness surrounded him, a body lay on the floor before him. He felt a presence at his back, but it didn't threaten him. He moved away from the body, searching...searching for...a voice pierced the silence, "PETER GET DOWN!"

The scene played itself, again and again. Sometimes he was knocked to the floor after the shout, sometimes the scene had begun again before the fall... but the voice. Always the voice was a constant. A woman's voice - familiar - full of venom and fire. He knew that voice. Who did it belong to? It wasn't Jody, Jordan...Skalany? No... not Skalany or Simms. He tried to turn around in his dream as he knelt by the body on the floor, but he couldn't make out her face. A shadow crossed over her features obscuring them from his view.

He woke in a cold sweat. His father was still there, sitting on a cushion on the floor, in light meditation. He opened his eyes as he sensed Peter's awakening. It was evening, and his stomach was putting up a fuss at being empty for so long, but he knew what was in store for him as far as dinner went.

"How are you feeling?" Caine asked from his position on the floor.

"Sore. And hungry."

Caine rose and brought the still warm tray containing the unappetizing meal over to him. Bad as it was, it was food, and he was feeling pretty lightheaded. "When can I get out of here, Pop?"

Caine shrugged slightly and formulated a reply, "It may be a few days..."

"A few days?! It's not like I was shot!" Peter cried. "Is there something you're not telling me? Like why I feel so lousy?"

"You were not 'jumped' on your way home from work," Caine began to explain as Dr. Stein entered the room.

"Well, I see you're awake..."

"Hey, Doc," Peter greeted him. "My father was just telling me it could be a couple days before I can go home. You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Dr. Stein looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Peter, have you remembered anything else about your attack? The day you were attacked?" he asked.

"No. I don't remember anything at all about the attack itself. Just about being at work, fighting with my girlfriend...heading for home. That's it."

"Peter...you weren't at work the day you were attacked," the doctor began gently.

"What do you mean? Of course I was! Where else would I have been?" Peter began to get a little nervous, looking to his father for assurance.

"You were working under cover. Something went wrong, and you were beaten, and thrown into an alley."

"What?" Peter's face had gone a little white... he didn't have any memory of this at all, this was completely insane!

"You were given an injection of insulin. Certain dosages of this would cause seizures, even death if not treated immediately. You were fortunate that your father and your friends located you and got you medical attention before that happened."

Peter sat in the bed, shaking his head, his whole world spinning, had he blacked out for a couple of days? The feeling of losing time was unsettling to his core, of not knowing where he'd been or what he'd been doing...the loss of control...

"How long was I undercover?" he asked hesitantly.

"A few days, then you failed to report in. Mary Margaret was your contact," Caine informed him. "You were found two days after your last contact with her."

"I lost a week!?" he exclaimed shakily.

Dr. Stein looked from Peter to Caine and back. Peter was not taking this well at all. His mind was rejecting the idea, there was nothing for it to take hold of. Dr. Stein looked back to Caine and shook his head very slightly. He couldn't risk telling Peter anymore tonight. It was too much for him to handle in his condition.

"Peter, we're going to keep you for just a couple of days, for observation and treatment. I'll check back in on you in the morning. In the mean time, just rest, and think about what we talked about. If you remember anything....write it down. Anything at all, an image, a face, a voice, anything. We'll talk in the morning. Goodnight, Peter, Goodnight Mr. Caine."

*******

Nicole woke early the next morning, in the hospital...not her own bed at home, and realized the nightmare of the last 24 hours had been reality. The memory of her visit with Peter came back clearly into her mind...her visit and subsequent breakdown. Her mind had just shut down after looking into his eyes and seeing no recognition at all. Kermit had taken her back here, to her room, and had stayed with her until she had fallen asleep. A hot flush of embarrassment crept over her as she remembered allowing herself to be put to bed like a small child, afraid of the dark. Kermit was a good friend and she trusted him almost as much as she trusted Peter, or Caine, and the circumstance had been extreme, but it was no excuse for the display she must have put on.

A nurse came in to take a reading of her blood pressure and other vital signs, and was surprisingly pleased with the readings. Evidently the release of those tears last night had been therapeutic after all. She made false promises to the nurse that she would stay in bed all day and take it easy.

But, today was another day. She pulled herself from her bed, dressed in sweats and a denim maternity shirt Jody had brought for her. She made her way back down to the first floor, determined to be strong, if not for herself, then for Peter and their child.

Perhaps, she thought hopefully, Kermit had been correct last night. Perhaps things would be better today. Perhaps when Peter looked at her today his eyes would hold warmth and affection instead of cold confusion.

Caine was standing near the elevators, engaged in conversation with an elderly patient when Nicole got off on the first floor. She waved to him, but was reluctant to interrupt what looked to be an animated discussion. She was headed towards Peter's room, hoping to spot the doctor she'd seen coming from his room last night, when she spotted a blonde head, bobbing along headed in the same direction. A blonde head with dark roots. "Oh, no you don't," she muttered under her breath, hurrying to head her off, Caine suddenly close on her heels. "What the hell are you doing here?" Nicole stared at Jordan McGuire.

Jordan held her ground with a slight smile. "Peter called me. He wanted me to come take him home."

"Oh, God," Nicole groaned miserably, leaning on Caine for support for a moment. "He doesn't remember...he really doesn't remember."

"Well, if you'll excuse me." Jordan attempted to get by to Peter's room.

She'd almost made it to the door when Nicole grabbed her by the shoulder, spun her around and threw her up against the wall with a sudden violence that knocked the wind from the vice cop. Nicole's arm pressed against her windpipe with the deadly accuracy of a trained mercenary. "Peter's a very sick man, he's not ready to be released," her words came through clenched teeth. "And I swear to God if you take advantage of this situation, the next person who comes to pick YOU up will be Nicky Elder."

Jordan gasped for air as Caine pulled Nicole's arm away from the woman's throat. "My son is not ready to be released," he told her calmly. "He is not well, and should not have visitors."

"But Kermit and you have been allowed to see him." She looked nervously at Nicole out of the corner of her eye.

"I am asking you not to pursue this, Jordan," Caine continued in a patient voice. "It will only complicate matters, and worsen a situation you do not understand." Gently he steered her away from his son's door, towards the exit, as though guiding a small child.

"Fine. I'll go. You can keep me from coming in here, I suppose, but you can't stop him if he's finally come to his senses and wants to see me," she assured them both, with a wary eye on Nicole. She moved quickly out of her immediate reach, and walked down the hall.

"I was hoping he'd be...better this morning. I guess he's not..." she muttered.

"You should be in bed," Caine admonished her.

"I wanted to see him," she insisted, her eyes glued to the exit.

"You must not risk upsetting yourself any further today."

"What's really going to upset me, is if I don't at least SEE him." She pushed through the door.

Peter was dressed, sitting on the bed, flipping through a magazine, looking tired and frustrated. Dark circles under his eyes told of his state of mind. He looked up suddenly as the door opened, and confusion flooded his face. He was expecting someone to come take him home. He wasn't being released officially, he was leaving with his doctors' knowledge. But this wasn't who he'd called to come get him. Was it? No. He'd called Jordan, and she'd more than cheerfully agreed to come. She must have forgiven him for their fight. But this was...his father's friend standing in the door. And he'd been half on his feet to leave with her because...

"Hi." Her voice was soft and sweet, her eyes smiling at him. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better, thanks...I'm sorry, I, ah, I didn't get your name."

She blinked, the smile in her eyes faltering for just a moment. "Nicole," she replied in almost a whisper as she approached him.

"Nicole," he repeated, as though testing the word.

"You're dressed," she observed, knowing what he'd been about to do.

"Well, I figured I'd feel better if I..."

"I know," she interrupted. "I saw your friend out in the hall, the doctor told her you weren't ready to be released yet."

"Damn." He closed his eyes and sank back against his pillows with a sigh. Busted. "Well, I guess I'm stuck then."

"What are you so anxious to get back out there to?"

"Work. My life," he laughed miserably. "I have at least four cases on my desk that aren't getting solved by themselves, and I have a new partner starting that I haven't even met yet..."

"Sounds like important stuff." She smiled, happy that he hadn't mentioned wanting to get back to his girlfriend, and almost a little amused that he was looking forward to meeting his new partner. It was a little like being caught in some kind of time warp.

"Well, if you're looking for my father, I'm not sure where he is right now."

"Actually, I just came down to see how you were," she explained. Each word was harder for her to utter.

"Oh, well...I guess a person can get pretty bored sitting around this place, huh?"

"Yeah, bored and a little lonely," she added.

Peter looked and saw the smile was completely gone from her eyes. "You alone here?" he asked. She nodded. "Where's your husband?" She was wearing a ring...what kind of guy would leave his wife...especially someone as beautiful and obviously sweet as this woman...alone in a hospital in what had to be her last weeks of pregnancy.

"I don't know..." she replied at last, meeting his gaze.

*******

Long before visiting hours were scheduled to begin, Jordan McGuire snuck down the hospital corridor, being on her guard, not wanting a repeat of what happened yesterday. When she caught no sign of Nicole, Caine or Kermit Griffin, she slipped into Peter's room.

"Hi!" she called quietly.

Peter looked up from his book, expecting to see a doctor coming to poke him with another needle or something. "Jordy!" he got to his feet and went to hug her....but...something was...wrong. Different. Her hair was...longer...

Jordan flung her arms around him, he was obviously happy to see her! "How do you feel, Peter?" she asked him, pulling away a little to inspect his bruised face..

"I'm feel fine," he insisted, he'd been telling people that for days. "Jordy, you look different...did you do something different with you hair?" he asked a little uneasily.

"No, not recently," she smiled. "I have to admit, Peter, I was a little surprised that you called me yesterday."

"Yeah, well, past is passed, right? Let's just forget about it and move on, okay?"

"Okay!" She smiled, kissing him with enthusiasm.

"And I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't know you were going to get busted trying to break me outta here."

"Well, it wasn't exactly pleasant! But, you're right, past is passed and all."

"Has my new partner started yet? I'm starved for a little news."

"Your new...?"

"Shaw...I've been talking about this for a week!" he insisted uncomfortably.

"What...?" Jordan stumbled briefly, blinking in confusion. They stood and stared at each other for a moment before an idea began to form in her mind. "Peter? What's today's date? I, ah, I need to pay an overdue bill today..."

"Jeez, Jordy, you're always doing that. And I have no idea what the date is! It's probably June 5th or 6th or something."

"Do you remember what you gave me for my birthday last month?" she asked, an excitement in her voice.

"That necklace you hated. Why?"

Jordan's heart soared. He'd lost at least a year! In his mind this wasn't a reconciliation, in his mind they were still together! "Yep, but you know what? I'm starting to like that necklace - a lot!" she exclaimed, pulling him to her for a passionate kiss.

"JORDAN!" Kermit's voice exploded the silence. "See you in the hall a minute?!" He grabbed her by the arm and hauled her away from Peter, and out into the corridor.

"Hey! Watch it Kermit! I'm gonna have bruises on that arm!" she cried as he dragged her down the hall and out into the cool fall air.

"That's not all that's gonna be wrong with you and if don't cut this out right now! If it wasn't for the fact that it would be detrimental to HER, I'd haul you upstairs and let Nicole kick your ass!" he raged, "What the Hell are you thinking about?!" he gave her a powerful shake as he released her arm.

"Damnit, Kermit! He called me yesterday, said he was in the hospital and he wanted he to come get him! I figured he got sick of the dragon queen and wanted to leave her!"

"Yeah, well, that was yesterday, and I believe you were told to leave then! Didn't you notice that he's acting a little strange???"

"Kermit, I lost Peter a year and a half ago. And it hurt. Now he calls me and he wants ME, Kermit, not HER, ME! He thinks we're still together, don't you get it? I have another chance!"

"Jordan..." Kermit starting shaking his head, "I'm not going to continue this conversation, because if I do, I'm gonna be ill. You're pathetic... and you'd better get out of here if you know what's good for you. Because if I have to look at you for another second, I might lose what little control I've got," he spit out the words and ushered her physically to the door. As he turned to go back to Peter's room, he saw his friend, standing in the open doorway.

"Peter..." Kermit held out his hands, wishing he'd gone straight to the office this morning.

Peter just stood and stared for a moment. "I want some answers, Kermit. And I want them now."

Kermit dragged Peter back into his room and closed the door.

"Peter..." Kermit fought for the right words, "Oh...boy..."

"Yeah, oh, boy. What the Hell's going on?" he demanded, staring stonily at his old friend. "You want to start with what just happened here? Why did you just do that to Jordan?"

"Why didn't you stop me?" Kermit countered gently.

Peter stopped and thought about for a long, long moment.

"Whatever she told you, she was lying. You and she aren't involved anymore."

"Kermit, she said something about me losing a year and a half. That wasn't a lie, was it?" he asked, not even sure anymore if he wanted to hear the answers. He had to sit down...he needed a drink...he needed to wake up because this had to be a nightmare.

Kermit let Peter compose himself before answering. "That much is true. Now, Peter, the doctors have advised against even telling you this much, and I think you know why! Don't freak out on me, kid, all right?" he put his hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Why, Kermit? How did it happen?"

Kermit filled him with an outline of the events he knew. That Peter had gone undercover, had failed to report in, had been beaten and drugged, and found by himself and Caine. Caine, who he wished was here right now instead of him.

"I don't get it, Kermit. What went wrong? Who was my contact?"

"Skalany."

"And where was my partner?" he asked.

This was the second or third time that Kermit alone had heard Peter ask a question about, or make mention of his new partner.

"She's not at the 101st anymore," Kermit told him.

"Tell me about the past 18 months Kermit." Peter was starting to shake, his eyes were closed against the explosion threatening to happen in his head.

Kermit shook his head with regret. "Peter, look at you. You're overloading and that's why the doctors wanted you to get some of this back on your own before we dumped it all on you. I'm gonna go get your doctor. And your father."

"Where is my father?" Peter asked anxiously, suddenly this year and last year and the year before were jumbling in his head, was his father here? Had he been here?? Peter couldn't keep his memories straight anymore. A year and a half...images were assaulting him, and he had no idea what was real and what was his imagination. He lay down, everything spinning around him violently. "Where is my father?"

"He's with Nicole," came out before he could stop himself, "His friend." Kermit stepped out the door, looking around for Dr. Stein.

Peter lay there, the pictures in his head crowding out thought...his father was with Nicole...Nicole...Nicole was the name of his new partner...Peter's eyes shot open - SHE was his partner!! That made sense! She kept coming to visit him because they used to work together! That's why his father knew her and that's why she visited him! "KERMIT" he yelled, but Kermit was long out of earshot. He closed his eyes again. "PETER GET DOWN" the voice from his dream screamed out in his head, and he shuddered. That voice, God! that voice! Always yelling at him, always biting and sarcastic, those cold eyes drilling holes in his head...it couldn't be the same sweet, soft-spoken woman that had visited him here, he decided. It couldn't be. Impressions without images were starting to break free of the block in his head. His new partner hated him. She was unpleasant, rude, cold and sarcastic. The woman here in the hospital was pregnant. Peter just knew that there wasn't a man on earth brave enough to have gotten his partner pregnant, he laughed to himself.

"Peter?" Dr. Stein's voice broke his train of thought.

*******

Peter Caine sat as patiently as he could through Dr. Stein's explanation of the medical aspect of his current situation, and through his father's explanation of his emotional condition. But the answers he needed were denied to him. And as he sat listening to the three of them talk around his questions, he came to a conclusion. If they would not bring the answers to him, he would go to the answers. So he sat patiently, nodding in the appropriate places, and promising to stay put, and rest. A psychologist would be in to talk with him in the morning, to help him in dealing with his memory loss.

Kermit left soon after the doctor, promising to drop back in during the next day. His father stayed with him only a short time, excusing himself to tend to another 'patient' of his.

An hour later, Peter Caine gathered his personal belongings, and walked out the front door.

*****

Peter walked the short distance into Chinatown, the exercise and fresh air invigorating him as he walked. He swung into his bank and withdrew a hundred dollars spending money, but garnered a dirty look from the teller he always flirted with. At least he hadn't squandered all his savings in the past 18 months, he consoled himself. And then he looked at the balance on the slip again...had he gotten a raise? Was he saving every penny he made? Was he taking bribes now? He thought about going back into the bank to double check, but first, he wanted to get home.

Peter got all the way up to his door, when he realized he didn't have his keys. Muttering a curse under his breath, he turned and headed back for the elevator. The super would let him in, and get a copy made of his key for him.

He was almost to the elevator when he heard a door open. He turned to see if it was one of his neighbors...but there was a woman coming out of HIS apartment. "Excuse me!" he called to her in his best authoritative cop voice.

"Yes?" the woman looked nervously at him.

"You mind telling me what you're doing in there?"

The woman looked at him, and back to the door with a look of utter confusion on her face. "I live there."

Peter stepped back. "You live there?" he repeated.

"Yes!"

"How long have you...lived there?" he asked, knowing he probably sounded like a nut. This woman wasn't lying.


"Sorry...I - uh - I have the wrong floor I guess..." he stammered, choosing the stairs instead of riding the elevator down with her.

For the next half hour Peter wandered the streets of his neighborhood, wondering what had happened that he would have given up his apartment. He loved that place.

Inspiration struck as he passed a phone booth. He snatched the phone book and turned to the 'C's. 'Peter Caine' he read...and stopped. 171 Soundview Ave. the address read. "Soundview Ave?" he spoke the address in disbelief. "I couldn't afford to..." But checking again, he found that was the only Peter Caine in the book.

With nothing to loose, he hailed and cab, and gave the driver the address.

*****

The doorman at 171 Soundview smiled at him as he got out of the cab. "Afternoon, Mr. Caine."

"Yeah...hi..." Peter looked for a nametag, "Harry...how are you?"

"Just fine, Sir, just fine. Yourself?"

"Terrific. Oh, hey, Harry...I'm locked out...seem to have misplaced my key, can you help me out?" he asked with his best 'trust me' smile.

The smile turned out to be unnecessary, Harry evidently knew all the residents of his building well. In moments, Harry was riding the elevator up with him, passkey in hand. All the way to the penthouse.

"Thanks a lot Harry..." Peter said absentmindedly as he stared into the apartment. It was huge. And definitely his...his trains were set up on the far side of the room, prominently displayed.

"Best to the Misses," Harry called as the elevator doors closed behind him.

"What?" Peter spun around to ask, but Harry was gone, and he was alone in his 'home'.

Things must be going well for him...maybe he finally hit the lottery! He smiled at the thought as he wandered into the kitchen...canisters of herbal tea sat in residence on the counter...his father's influence, no doubt.

Down the hall he wandered, absorbing the feelings of hope and light and warmth. He was happy here, he knew that. And it wasn't just the money...however much that was. He opened the first door in the hall and found...a nursery...

Peter fell backwards against the doorframe, his breath caught in his chest. With a sudden sense of urgency, Peter staggered out of the room, down the hall and into the master bedroom. He threw open the nearest closet and found his clothes. He pulled open the next set of doors and found women's clothing...he started pulling them out of the closet...slim fitting long jeans...and...maternity clothes...

Peter sat down hard on the bed, which was on a raised platform, and put his head in his hands...what had he done? His heart ached with worry as he glanced around the rest of the room, and spotted a framed photo on the nightstand. Snatching it up he fixed his eyes on the image of himself in a tux, grinning madly for the camera... and a woman in white. The woman from the hospital....the PREGNANT woman from the hospital.

*******

Nicole Caine felt as though all the control she'd struggled so hard for her whole life was slipping away.

"Where is he? Where's Peter Caine?" she demanded, grabbing the doctor by his lab coat.

"He should be in his room." The doctor turned and opened the door, the bed was empty. "Oh, no..." he groaned miserably, checking the drawer of the dresser. Peter's clothes were gone.

"Great. Just great!" Nicole snapped, heading back for her room, and the phone.

*****

Karen answered the phone's strident cries, and quickly put her husband on the phone. "It's Nicole, she doesn't sound good."

Less than five minutes later Kermit and Karen were both out the door, headed for their separate cars, Holly in the hands of her Nanny, another quiet night at home derailed.

*****

Karen checked Delancy's, and Chandlers, uncertain of which bar Peter would have been hanging out in 18 months ago, but none of the regulars had seen Peter in weeks.

Kermit checked Jordan's apartment, his blood pressure rising at the thought. She was home alone, and quite angry at the intrusion.

Nicole, having gone 'over the wall' herself, checked Peter's old apartment. The woman who answered the door identified Peter from a photo in Nicole's wallet as the man she'd encountered in the hall that afternoon.

On a whim, she swung by the ATM and checked the balance on the checking and savings accounts. One hundred dollars had been withdrawn.

Caine returned to his home in case Peter showed up there, seeking the answers he'd denied him earlier. He had made Nicole promise she would stay at the hospital, by the phone, but he knew in his heart she would do as she felt she must.

Checking in every half hour with the Griffins, who delivered a lecture each time on why she shouldn't be out of her doctor's sight, she was running out of options. She called Jody, who promised to check out some of Peter's older hangouts. She called Annie Blaisdell, who had been paying her occasional visits since her marriage to her foster son, but Peter had not called or been by their house. Exhausted, she headed for home to search his address book.

*****

"Oh, my God..." Peter whispered in shock, "Nicole...CAINE..." His legs were threatening to give out on him as he stumbled out to the living room couch, still clutching the wedding photo in his hands, closing his eyes as a flood of memories started to rush over him...they'd married in secret the first time, a private ceremony just for them...then a 'real' wedding for them and their friends. There was a problem at the wedding...a gun...someone shot...something about her garter...something that made him want to laugh. "I married my partner..." he mumbled incredulously.

The sound of the front door banging open seconds later took years off his life. He shot to his feet again, his heart hammering in his chest, as his wife walked in the door.

"Peter!" She jumped back, obviously not expecting to see him there.

"Nicole, I..." he started, her face familiar to him now, a memory here and there, fleeting glimpses of that face over the last year...his wife...

"PETER CAINE!!!" she yelled angrily, "What the Hell were you doing checking yourself out of the hospital!!! Don't you ever stop to think about anybody but yourself!? Your father and I and Kermit and Jody and Skalany!!! We've been running all over town looking for you!!! What were you thinking!?" she lit into him, her face becoming more and more familiar, but that voice...THAT was the voice from the hall in the hospital! THAT was the voice he heard in his dreams at night screaming at him to "Get Down!" THAT was the voice...his partner's voice!

'Good God' he thought again to himself, 'I married my partner!' "NICK!" he exploded as the memories broke in on him, they were married! They lived here! They were going to have a baby! He stumbled towards her, and grabbed her into an embrace, sobbing with relief and confusion. "God, Nick, why didn't you just tell me???"

"Peter?" her voice softened, and she began to shake, "Peter? You...you remember...?"

"I remember I love you," he whispered, kissing her.

"Oh, God, Peter I was so scared I'd lost you..."

He shook his head and began to reply when she pushed herself away from him abruptly, doubling over as far as she was able to, and groaning, "Oh, no...no, no, no...!"

"Nick? What's...?"

"Hospital....Peter....this is it..." She looked desperately up at him as he grabbed the car keys from her hand.

*******

"Congratulations! You have a baby girl!" the doctor announced.

Peter kissed Nicole, laughing, "You did it! See, that wasn't so bad, was it? We have a daughter...and she's beautiful..." Peter stood to take the baby from the nurse's arms, his eyes wide in wonder.

"Oh, GOD!" Nicole screamed, startling everyone in the room. "I thought it was supposed to stop now!!!"

"What? Nick? What's wrong???" Peter handed the baby back to the nurse and returned to her side, glancing from her to the doctor who had moved back into position.

"Oh, God! It HURTS!" She contorted in agony.

"Doc, what's goin' on?!"

"Looks like you've been called to perform an encore, Mrs. Caine." He smiled behind his mask.

"WHAT?!" she and Peter cried out in unison.

"You're having twins!"

Peter stood in shock, everything just turned upside down on him in an instant...twins! But Nicole was screaming again, not like this first time, with the first baby, this time she was screaming in what sounded like agony. "Doc, what's wrong? She shouldn't be in that much pain, should she?" he prompted loudly. "Nick?" He sat by her side and let her grab his hand, to Hell with it if she broke every bone in it.

"OH, GOD MAKE IT STOP!"

The doctor stopped suddenly, looking up at Peter and nodding a signal to the nurse attending. "She's bleeding. There's too much blood, something's...Mr. Caine, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We're going to have to do an emergency c-section. I'm going to need blood...type her..." he shot out orders.

"Please Peter make it stop!!!" Nicole pleaded, suddenly going limp.

"NICK!"

"Mr. Caine you need to leave right now, let us help her, you're in the way!" the doctor barked, as two attendants escorted Peter into the hall, closing the door on him.

He stood in the hall, kicking the wall and cursing frantically, what was happening?! How could this have gone wrong!? She had to be all right! Why wouldn't they tell him what was going on!? He whole body started to shake uncontrollably until he was forced into a seat in the hall, his head in his hands, waiting in the silence...

"I've got a code - get a crash cart in here STAT!" Peter heard the doctor in his wife's room yell, and his world crashed down around him.

*******

Peter's spirits sank as Paul began to cry, a soft unhappy whimper at first, which escalated quickly into a full scale wail of discomfort, and fear. Peter returned to the side of the crib, reaching in to pick up his newborn son, completely at a loss as to how to comfort the small infant, when he himself was in so much pain. Little Caitlyn immediately joined in, adding her smaller lungs' worth. Peter wanted to join in. All night it had gone on like this. One would start to cry, and then the other. He'd tried separating them, one in the bassinet in the living room, the other in the bedroom, but to no avail. They hated being apart. Peter was now functioning on zero sleep, and his nerves were already stretched as thin as they could be. The twins had been well enough for him to take them home yesterday after two days in the hospital. Thankfully the complications during their births had not effected them. Little Paul had been taken by c-section before suffering from lack of oxygen. But they were colicky and miserable, having trouble digesting the formula the doctors had given him...and were probably picking up on their father's anxiety.

Peter took a deep breath and tried to relax as he balanced one baby in his right arm, and reached in with his left to pick up the other child. He had tears in his own eyes as they cried. Their first days in this world should be spent with two loving parents, not one half crazed father. Nicole should have been able to come home with them, should have been there to see them in their crib the first night. Should have been there while Peter filmed their homecoming. She should be there right now, standing over the crib with him as they marveled at how perfectly beautiful their children were. It just wasn't fair!

Peter started to feel lightheaded and short of breath. He carefully placed both still crying babies back in the crib before wandering almost blindly into the living room where he began to loose control. He could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, his face becoming flushed and his heart pounding madly in his chest. "It's not FAIR!" he raged skywards, "IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!" he turned and slammed his fist into the wall, punching a neat hole and near breaking his hand as the front door crashed open.

"Peter!?" two familiar voices called in desperation.

Peter turned quickly, holding his hand under his arm and sank to the floor in front of Paul and Annie Blaisdell.

"Son?" Paul knelt in front of him, Annie beside him, reaching out to hold him.

"Mom? Paul?" Peter asked in a shaky voice, so reminiscent of his teenage years with them, so alone and afraid, trying with all his might to put up a tough front, and always having it crumble in the end.

"We're here son," Paul assured him, his arms joining Annie's around their foster son as he broke down and sobbed. "I came as soon as I heard," Paul told his foster son, as his breathing slowed and the hysteria that had grabbed hold of him began to loose it grip.

"How did you..." Peter stopped and shook his head. "Never mind..." It wasn't important, he decided. What mattered to him right now was the fact that he'd just been thrown a lifeline, and he was going to grab on. His world was beginning to come back into focus, and his son and daughter were crying, frightened and alone in the nursery. Peter shakily got to his feet again, "I've got to..."

"Nonsense, you've got more than enough to handle yourself right now, let me," Annie Blaisdell's gentle voice cut him off as her husband took her arm and guided her to the nursery.

Peter sank back down onto the couch gratefully as he heard the voices of the couple that had taken him into their home and hearts at a critical turning point in his life, now fussing over his twins. Paul quickly found Annie everything she would need, and returned to Peter, with an awed smile on his face. "They're incredible, son."

"They are. We had no idea there would be two. God, they look just like her."

"Yes, they do," Paul agreed.

Peter looked at him in confusion for an instant before he remembered. "That's right. I forgot, you knew her."

"Not well, but yes, we met. She ever tell you that story?"

"No. She didn't like to talk about the past very much. Not that she really had much reason to," Peter told him grimly. She'd had such a hard life. Things had finally started working out for her, she'd finally found some kind of peace...it wasn't fair.

"I suppose it goes with the life," Paul shrugged. "She was known as "The Fixer," he smiled. "Because she was who you called when you needed a situation 'fixed'. She'd only been in the trade a short time, but she'd earned herself quite a reputation already. First thing she'd do before she left on an assignment was to go and learn all the native curses. That was her 'prep'," Paul grinned as he actually won a small laugh from Peter. "Mind you, we had no idea she was a woman until we met her face-to-face..." he sighed, "I always knew that you needed challenges in your life, son, but I can't believe you married The Fixer. Don't get me wrong, I liked her, and more than that I respected her, but...that had to be the meanest woman on the face of the earth."

Peter laughed full and loud, for the first time in...he couldn't remember how long, his memories of their first meeting coming back to him in a torrent...how he'd dreaded seeing her, how she used to bite his head off for no apparent reason....and finally, that first night she'd come to his apartment. Soaked to the bone, hair plastered against her face, eyes haunted and sleepless...sleeping on the couch with her through the second half of the night, warm and comfortable, safe and familiar. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch. "Paul, there's so much more to her than you know. She's got a temper, all right, I'll give you that...but she's also warm, and loving, loyal, and even gentle. She had such a bad life...I wanted so much more for her than I was able to give her. The past few months were so good..."

"I know, son...I know..."

*******

"Is your father with Nicole?" Paul asked Peter, after making him a drink to calm his nerves.

"Yeah. He's trying to help...but she starting...hemorrhaging with the second delivery, and they couldn't get the bleeding stopped. And they wouldn't let me stay with her..."

"Your children need you, Peter."

"They need her. I need her, too. Paul, what am I gonna do if she..." his voice trailed off.

"Don't think that way," Paul's voice was strong and sharp, bringing Peter back to the present. "Let me tell you something, that is one tough soldier you married. She won't die, son, she's far too ornery for that." Paul Blaisdell looked into the young man's eyes and saw complete devotion, and utter despair. "Son, you need some sleep. You're exhausted, and you're not doing yourself or anyone else any good like this. You go to bed, get some rest, don't worry about anything else. Then, first thing in the morning, what do you say we go down to the hospital?" Paul suggested, standing. "Your mom can handle the kids for a couple of hours while we're gone, or Kelly can come baby-sit. I'm sure she'd be happy to do it."

Peter sat miserably, looking over at the man he'd come to trust during his teen years, the man who had turned his life in a direction he'd never thought of taking, and had probably saved him from himself on more than one occasion. "Okay," he relented. "Okay."

Peter appeared in the nursery doorway a moment later, on his way to bed, kissing his mother on the cheek as she sat in the rocking chair, holding the two tiny, finally quiet infants. He knelt by her side quietly and gazed at them, asleep at last. "Thanks, Mom," he whispered.

She smiled happily and nodded, "Get some rest...I love you."

*****

Morning came, and true to his word, Paul Blaisdell was ready to go when Peter bolted down the hallway. "Let's go," he called loudly, as though he was going to put out a fire somewhere.

The hospital was quiet. Visiting hours wouldn't start officially for several hours yet, but already Nicole Caine had several. Kwai Chang Caine had been with her almost constantly since the frightening turn her labor had taken. He had returned to his home only for the herbs he was mixing, and the incense he defied the doctors by burning in the room to cleanse the energy around them.

"Pop?" Peter called softly from the door as he entered, shedding his light jacket in a single fluid motion, heading straight for the bed. "How is she?"

"She is...weak," he answered, not appearing all that strong himself. "Paul..." He looked up and saw Blaisdell standing in the doorway, and smiled, grateful someone had been watching out for Peter while he'd been trying to help Nicole. Just knowing Peter's 'other father' was there gave Caine great comfort.

"Caine..." Paul greeted him. An understanding which had long ago been forged between them still stood strong. They would each do whatever they could to help and protect their son.

Peter sat on the bed and kissed his wife's slightly clammy forehead. "Hi, sweetheart..." he murmured in her ear.

Her eyes flickered open for a moment, and she attempted to smile for him. "Peter...you're here... The babies...?"

"They're fine. They're home in good hands, Mom Blaisdell's with them," he assured her. Her energy was weak and erratic. The internal bleeding had been stopped, but they'd 'stopped' it twice already, and still she continued to fade away, her color growing more pale, her heartbeat more irregular. He had to lean in close to catch her words.

Gray eyes moved past Peter and up, until she recognized the man behind him.

"Hi there, soldier. You holding up?" Paul asked in his 'commanders' voice. Nicole muttered something Peter couldn't understand and Paul burst into laughter.

"What?" Peter asked.

"She just said something I shouldn't repeat, in a middle-eastern dialect."

"Could I have a few minutes...?" Peter asked Paul and his father softly. Both men nodded understanding, and left the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

Nicole looked up and caught his eyes. Her hand came up from the bed in what appeared to be a Herculean effort, to wipe away a tear from his face.

"Miss you..." he choked out.

"Miss you too..."

"The Fixer, huh?"

She smiled a little as the name triggered memories for her. So much had changed. "Yeah... came through all those ... fires... unburned ...Taken out by something women have been doing since the beginning of time..."

"Not taken out..." he insisted quietly, the tears burning behind his eyes.

"We have to...talk."

Peter brought her hand up and kissed her palm. "What is it?"

"If I don't...if I don't...get to come home..." she started.

"I'm not going to talk about this, Nick," Peter told her adamantly.

"...have to consider it."

"No. I don't have to consider it because you're going to be fine!" he insisted.

"What if I'm not, Peter? We have to make some decisions..." Her voice was stubborn, but soft.

Peter started to shake. He knew all too well the will to live was the most important part of recovery. He recalled his journey into the Bardo to bring his father back... being resigned to dying was almost as good as being dead. "If you die, I swear to God, Nicole, I'll kill you!" he blurted out before he could stop the words. "Don't you dare, Nicole, don't you dare. Don't you leave me!" Peter was trying desperately to be strong and calm and supportive for her, but the hysteria level was rising in him. "I can't...I can't do this without you. I can't raise those children by myself. I can't put them through what I went through. They won't survive without you, and neither will I..."

"I love you, Peter. I don't know how many times I should have taken a second to say that and didn't. I should have shown you that more..."

"Then you stick around and tell me, and show me. Come home and raise our children with me. They're incredible, you know that? They are the most incredible things I've ever seen... you have to see them, Nick. You have to see them for yourself. You have to hold them..."

A look of sadness crossed her face. "I didn't get to hold them..."

"No, and you won't if you.... leave us," he voiced his fears as a threat, knowing his wife so well. She never backed down from a threat. Ever.

The door opened before she could reply, and her doctor walked in, "Mr. Caine? I'm sorry, but I need some time with my patient. If you'd like to take a seat in the waiting room, I'd like to speak with you."

*******

Peter paced anxiously in the waiting room, having a sudden and sharp appreciation for all those people who had paced anxiously in this room waiting for word on HIS condition.

Within 30 minutes, Nicole's doctor appeared, and sat down, motioning for him to sit as well. Reluctantly, Peter sat. "How's she doing?" he asked with trepidation. For days he'd been asking that question with fear gripping his heart, holding his breath as the man formed a reply, quiet prayer in his heart as the words reached his ears.

"She's not doing as well as we'd hoped...." he gave Peter several seconds to digest the words before he continued. "Her blood pressure, which has been a problem throughout the pregnancy, is erratic. She's very, very weak."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we have to continue to keep a close eye on her. We can't afford to move her out of ICU yet. The next twelve hours are critical. Once we've determined that she's no longer bleeding out, we'll be able to move her to a private room. But not until then."

"You think her chances are pretty good then?" Peter asked, the note of hope in his voice unmistakable.

"She's made it this far, but she's got a long way to go. I'm concerned about her state of mind as well."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked warily. He harbored his own concerns about her will to recover.

"Detective Caine, I won't beat around the bush. You and she are what we call our most frequent visitors. The doctors, nurses and attendants in the ER and ICU know the both of you on sight, and have your charts and medical histories either committed to memory or close at hand at all times. And if that woman isn't yelling, throwing things or making threats, it worries me."

"That's my wife you're talking about," Peter reminded him automatically.

"Yes. Yes, I know. I didn't mean to offend you, I was simply making clear my concerns."

Peter slumped down in the chair, suddenly very tired again. "I know. And you're right. And I understand what you're saying. I just don't know what to do..."

"You all right, son?" Paul found Peter and the doctor in the waiting room and sat beside him, looking up at the doctor.

"Yeah... I'm fine. I just need to figure out a way of convincing her to fight harder." He laughed bitterly. "Our whole marriage I've been trying to get her to stop fighting so hard... "

"You should let her rest now, come back tonight, and we'll talk again," the doctor advised them.

"Your father went to see Lo Si, he promised he'd come back this afternoon." Paul patted Peter's shoulder. "Let's go home and let me get acquainted with my namesake, okay?"

*****

An hour after Peter had kissed his sleeping wife and tip-toed out of the room, headed for home and his children, Jody Powell slipped quietly into the room. Nicole turned her head and opened her eyes, sensing another presence, and smiled.

"Hi there." Jody settled into the chair next to the bed. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by."

"Jody...glad you came..." she whispered.

"How are you feeling, Champ?"

"Been better... how 'bout you?"

"Anxious for you to get out of here so I can meet that friend of yours you promised to introduce me to," she replied with a grin.

"Jody, I've been thinking a lot...not much else to do in here."

"Don't tell me, you've thought of someone even better?"

The attempt to get a laugh had failed. Nicole pinned her with a determined look. "Jody I want...I need you to promise me something..."

Jody was beginning to become nervous. "What's that, Nicole?"

"Promise me... if I don't make it... you take care of Peter for me?"

"Nicole, that's ridiculous, don't say that."

"Please!?" She raised her voice stubbornly, "Jody, you've always loved him, I need to know you'd be there for him... and the children. I trust you..." She closed her eyes a moment, the outburst taking so much energy from her.

"I would be there for them, but it's not going to be..."

"And keep that bleached blonde bimbo away from my children or I swear to God I'll come back from the grave and rip her hair out by its black roots," she threatened vehemently before dropping off, exhausted.

*****

Peter spent another half sleepless night at home, tossing and turning, listening for any sound from the nursery. His sister Kelly had come to stay for the night, and had taken the bed in the nursery for herself, promising to spell Peter and allow him to deal with what he had to deal with, but Peter did not sleep. His memories were still coming back to him, and with each new memory of the past 18 months, came a fresh feeling of loss and pain.

He got up around 4:00 a.m. and made a pot of coffee. Treading as softly as his father, he looked in on his sister and his children. If Nicole didn't survive, these two tiny lives would depend on him alone, and in turn he would depend on them for his reason to go on. They would be his...reason to go on... he thought again....with a light of hope flickering in his soul...

Peter sat in the kitchen, sipping his coffee and watching the hands of the wall clock make their slow revolutions, waiting to drive to the hospital, and give his wife a reason to go on.

*****

Peter met his father outside Nicole's room. He looked drained from his continuing vigil. "Pop?" Peter put the carriers down and hugged his father. "You have to go home, Pop."

"I wished to stay until you arrived. To see...my grandchildren." He crouched on the floor next to the carriers and reached in to tickle each under the chin, and marvel at the family resemblance he was certain he saw already.

"But how did you know I was going to...never mind," Peter sighed. "Go home and rest, Pop. Please?"

Caine nodded as he rose to his feet. "She is asleep now."

"Thanks, Pop. For staying her with her." Peter hugged him again before picking up the carriers and pushing the door open.

Nicole was asleep, her pale face drawn and haggard looking. Dark circles under her eyes stood out like bruises. He sat softly on the side of the bed, and took her hand. He knew she should be allowed to rest all she could, but couldn't leave her alone in what he somehow knew was an empty, hopeless place. "Nick?" he whispered in her ear. "I'm here..."

She shifted sleepily, and for a moment he could almost imagine they were home, and he was bringing her a cup of coffee to get her out of bed and off to work with him back in the first weeks of their marriage, when they'd been partners. Except for the tubes and wires connected to her and the antiseptic smell of the place.

"Peter?" she yawned, opening her eyes just enough to see his outline.

"You were expecting maybe the President?" he joked lamely. "Doctor said you had a good night."

"Mmm," was her only reply, her eyes closing again.

"I brought a couple of visitors with me... I had to sneak them in and they're pretty anxious to meet you..." he told her, reaching down to take Caitlyn out of the baby carrier.

Nicole opened her eyes a little more and looked curiously at him, then at the bundle he held in his arms. "Oh...Peter..." her eyes suddenly held more life in them than he'd seen in days, and his heart lifted. She lifted one hand and tentatively ran a finger down the squirming baby's cheek. "So...you're the one that was kicking me for the last couple of months..." she murmured.

Peter reached down and retrieved Paul as well, balancing them both in his arms so that she could see them. They were being unusually cooperative, as though they knew why they were there, and on their best behavior. "You're sure it wasn't this little guy here doing the kicking?" he asked.

Nicole considered them both for a moment and smiled. "No... it was her," she replied, becoming more alert, her eyes taking in the sight with awe and wonder. All those months...the morning sickness, the pregnancy test... sitting on the edge of the tub, telling Peter and seeing his eyes light up...the backaches and the swollen ankles...Peter constructing the special raised platform for the bed to make it easier for her to get in and out without assistance... the mood swings and weight gain, feeling like a whale... and the labor... Right in front of her, alive, warm and breathing were the products of those nine months... the products of the love between herself and the man she'd once terrorized at work. "They're so..." her mind sought the words to express what was in her heart, "...perfect..."

Peter watched her waking up, her body and soul. "They are... and they're gonna get bigger...they're changing every day. They're gonna be toddlers and teenagers and get into all sorts of trouble... They need more than one nerve-wracked father, Nick. Stay with me. Stay with us. We need you."

Nicole ached to hold them, but the IV's and wires wouldn't allow her to do more than reach out a little and touch them each gently, feeling their soft skin against her fingertips. Her whole life she'd never had anyone need her before...

"Promise me, Nicole," he urged.

"I promise..." she whispered, reaching out to touch her son.

*******

Nicole's recovery was painful and slow. Her doctor deemed her well enough to leave ICU the day after Peter's visit with the twins. Her blood pressure had reached, and held at, an acceptable level for more than 12 hours, and they were optimistic they had gotten the bleeding stopped at last. Most encouraging of all, she'd actually shot out an incredibly rude answer to a nurse who'd asked, "How are we feeling today?"

During the next week she stayed in a private room, and Peter visited as frequently as he could, but felt guilty no matter where he was. If he was home with the twins, he felt guilty for not being at the hospital. If he was at the hospital, he felt guilty about not being home with the twins.

Kermit visited on a daily basis, bringing her case files from the office to keep her from going insane. He had to read most of them to her, and she often fell asleep during the readings, but he was happy to do it.

Jody came by more than she intended to, and the two of them often wound up in tears, from laughter. They came to discover how much they had in common, and Nicole always wound up wishing they'd been friends while they'd been working together.

Paul Blaisdell surprised everyone by staying in town for a longer period of time than he had in ages. He spent time with his wife and daughters, with Carolyn's new family, and with Peter. He supposed there was something in the back of his mind that told him he needed to be there until Nicole (whom he had trouble thinking of as anything but The Fixer) came home. He worried for Peter's mental state. Ever since Peter's mother had died when he was a small child, he'd been put through the emotional wringer and couldn't stand the thought of him having to lose one more person he loved.

*****

Nicole's doctor stood smiling a smile of relief as he spoke the words the staff had longed to hear him say, "Mrs. Caine, I'm releasing you tomorrow morning. You can go home, and finish recovering there. I do have a long list of do's and don'ts which I'll leave you with now in case you have any questions. You have to take it easy for a few weeks."

"I don't think I have the energy to do anything except take it easy..." she assured him.

"I have one other bit of good news, that I wanted to let the both of you know..." He smiled and Nicole sat up a little straighter, liking the sound of 'good news'. "Despite the problems you experienced this go round, we have every reason to believe you will be able to have more children."

"Not bloody likely, pal!" Nicole shot Peter a dirty look, and he laughed full and loud for the first time in weeks.

*****

Peter had the penthouse cleaned the day Nicole was released. He also had the hole he'd put in the wall repaired. There was a relieved kind of excitement in his heart as he drove to the hospital to pick her up. She was fnally coming home.

Nicole was greeted by a small group of friends and family when she returned. It wasn't as if she didn't appreciate their good wishes and intentions, but she had really been looking forward to spending her first day home alone with Peter and the twins.

Kermit and Karen, Paul, Annie, Kelly, Carolyn and Todd, Blake and Skalany, Caine and Lo Si... it looked as though everyone she knew was in her home. They threw her a baby shower/welcome home party which lasted all afternoon, Paul and Annie staying into the evening, catching up and helping with the children.

Nicole desperately wanted to spend time with her children, but no one seemed to want to let her lift a finger. Every time one of them cried, Peter was up and running, insisting she just sit and relax.

By the time everyone had gone, and she was at last alone with her family, she was too exhausted to even get up off the couch herself.

"Come on, sweetheart," Peter whispered as he put his arm around her and helped her up. He walked her down the hall, and put her to bed, tucking her in, much the same way he did the twins. "I'm sorry, I had no idea this would wear you out like this. I should have just told them to hold off until next week," he apologized.

"No... that's all right. It was nice of them to do that," she yawned. "I just wanted some time alone with the three of you, that's all. I hardly got to see Paul and Caitlyn at all."

"You'll see them in the morning, I promise," he leaned down to kiss her before she fell asleep. "Love you."

"Love you..." she mumbled, half asleep already.

*****

Nicole's head snapped up, her eyes instantly open. This was the first time she'd ever been awakened by the cry of a baby, and her children were two weeks old already. She glanced at the clock ... 2:00 A.M.???

Peter was already half way to the door. 'Did this happen every night?' she wondered as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

Peter turned around, realizing she was awake. "I'll take care of this, you rest."

"No," she insisted, a little unnerved. "I'm okay, I'm up and I need the practice."

"How 'bout if we both go?" he smiled, despite the fact he was still half asleep. God, it was good to have her home again. He waited for her as she moved slowly and carefully, refusing his offered arm, toward the nursery door.

Both twins were now crying. "They always do that," Peter told her, reaching in to pick up his daughter first. Nicole hung back a little, watching her husband cradling the infant in his arms, looking quite comfortable. Caitlyn knew her father already, trusted him. She quieted down a little just knowing it was his familiar arms she was in.

Peter looked over at her, "Nick? You all right? Maybe you shouldn't be up yet, sweetheart," he offered.

"No, I can do this." She sounded just like her stubborn old self, and he smiled, thinking to himself for the second time since he woke up how good it was to have her back home again.

Nicole sat in the rocking chair near the window and held out her arms. "Give her to me."

As Peter handed the infant to her and she held the baby in her arms she began to realize the enormity of the gift she and Peter had been given. This was a living, breathing human being, completely dependent upon them for her survival right now. They would watch her grow, learn to walk, to talk...she would go to school, have friends over, do homework, have crushes, date...no...Peter probably wouldn't allow that... Caitlyn was crying again, in the unfamiliar arms of her mother, with whom she should have bonded weeks ago.

Peter reached into the crib again, and retrieved his son. "I'll go make up a couple of bottles."

Nicole nodded absentmindedly as Peter made his way down to the kitchen. How had he done this by himself for two weeks? she wondered again.

Peter returned to the nursery, son in one arn, bottles in the other hand a few minutes later, and stopped in his tracks in the doorway. He watched as Nicole settled into the rocking chair and began feeding Caitlyn. The small infant fussed a little while longer, before realizing there was a food source close by. She turned turned her head a little and hungrily began feeding. Peter continued to watch in awe at the sight before him. A wave of jealousy swept over him before he could stop it. For the past two weeks, he'd been Caitlyn and Paul's sole provider. He knew he shouldn't be jealous of Nicole and the kids bonding. Tamping down on the feeling, he moved to kneel next to the rocking chair. Adjusting his hold on Paul, he leaned over and gave Nicole a kiss, then reached over and ran a finger against Caitlyn's cheek.

Peter looked down at Paul, who was once again letting them know that he too was hungry. Peter gave his son his pinkie to suck on, and that quieted him down for the time being. The twins settled down quicker now, especially seeing as Peter was no longer stressed out. The detective moved over to a second chair, and sat down. He waited until Caitlyn decided she'd had enough. Standing back up he took his daughter from Nicole and handed her their son.

"Peter?"

"Hmmm?"

"Is it always like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Being in here with them, it's. . .I don't know, calming."

Peter laughed softly, "Not at all. The first few days were bad, I was a mess, and they knew it. It was like they were picking up on my emotions... not knowing if you were going to make it... not being able to be with you... If it weren't for Paul and Mom, I wouldn't have made it."

"I'm sorry..."

"Hey..." he leaned over and kissed her cheek, "It wasn't your fault." He rose and placed Caitlyn in the crib, happy and sleeping. He turned to take Paul from her arms, but she'd already risen from the chair. "Easy with the lifting, please..." he admonished her lightly, taking their son to lower him into the crib next to his sister. He'd discovered early on that they slept better and longer together. "You know the only thing that counts now is that we're here together... our whole family." They stood with their arms around each other for some time, watching their children sleep.

Nicole reached in pulled the blankets back just a little, exposing first one tiny hand, then the other, one tiny foot, then the other. Peter looked at her questioningly. "I'm.... counting fingers and toes..." she laughed a little, looking at his face. She sniffed and looked away, "I was just thinking... I almost didn't get to do this..."

Peter cringed from the thought, and pulled her tightly into his arms as she wept for a moment, then picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. She was exhausted physically and emotionally. He lowered her onto the bed, and lay next to her, pulling the blankets back up around them and held her close, letting her cry. He even cried a little himself for all the hours and days they'd spent apart, for all those nights she'd been away from them, for all those days he'd thought she might not pull through. "...love you..." he whispered into her ear, his face buried in her thick hair, wishing more than anything that he could make love to her right that minute. "Thank you for them, Nick. They're the best gift anyone ever gave me."

"Well, enjoy them, Peter, because...you are NOT getting any MORE."

Peter started to laugh.

She joined him.