~A Very Good Year~
Chapter Six: If You Leave
May
Monica walked into the apartment to find Chandler asleep on the sofa, Sadie snuggled safely in his arms. She smiled, and for just a moment, let herself believe that her life would always be this picture perfect.
It was never her intention to fall in love with Chandler. But somewhere along the way, (although she wasn't sure when it was exactly) she'd let herself fall. She knew that she was setting herself up for inevitable heartbreak, but she didn't care. From the moment he walked back into her apartment, and into her life, she was fully aware that her feelings for him were real, and much more intense than she ever wanted them to be.
Chandler flinched in his sleep, and let out a strangled sigh, and Monica's illusions shattered. He really was sick. And all of the love in the world wasn't going to change that fact. She sunk into her overstuffed reading chair, and let out a small sob. Then she made a decision; she had to tell him. She needed him to know. She closed her eyes, and was soon dreaming of a simpler, more perfect life.
*
Chandler opened his eyes, and looked down at Sadie, who was still sound asleep in his arms. He smiled, happy to have moments like this to cherish. But Sadie was sleeping in a funny position, her head tilted slightly back, and her mouth open. He decided that she might be more comfortable on the bed, so he sat up carefully, and wrapped his arms around her. He moved to stand, but he had no strength in him. He struggled for a moment, and was finally able to stand slowly. Sadie shifted slightly, and Chandler moved to adjust her in his arms. His knees buckled, and he fell backward toward the sofa.
Monica opened her eyes in time to see Sadie shift and Chandler fall. She sat up, and silently took Sadie from Chandler, then carried her into the bedroom. When she re-emerged, Chandler was sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. She sighed, and sat down next to him.
"I can't even pick her up anymore. I feel so..useless," Chandler sighed, and leaned back on the sofa, deflated.
"Chandler, you just woke up. And Sadie is getting too big to be carried anyway."
"I hate this," Chandler said softly, his eyes welling up with tears.
Monica didn't know what to say, so she simply wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight. They were silent for a long while. Finally Chandler let out a deep sigh, and kissed Monica on the top of her head.
"Thank you, Mon," he whispered.
"For what?" Monica looked up at Chandler quizzically.
"For.everything," Chandler smiled.
Monica smiled, took a deep breath. She suddenly felt her heart pounding against her chest rapidly. She pulled away from Chandler, and looked at her hands.
"Chandler, I know that all of this is hard on you. But I want you to know that I do intend to take care of Sadie, and.you, too. I want to make this as easy as I can..just tell me what you need."
"I need you to tell me what is bothering you, Mon. Is this too much for you? Should I look at staying somewhere else? You look exhausted."
"No! No, Chandler, everything is..I mean, I'm fine. I love having you here, and I love having Sadie here. I love Sadie, I think she's great, and I..I mean, I hope she likes me, too."
"She does. She told me, she thinks you are great."
"The thing is, Chandler..I need you here. I..I don't want you to leave."
"We'll stay, then, if that's what you want. But Mon, I won't be here forever. You know that." Chandler looked at Monica intently.
"I know," Monica continued staring at her hands. She took a shaky breath, then looked up, to find Chandler staring at her. She bit her bottom lip, "But..I can't help feeling that.." Monica's courage, and her vocabulary, slipped away quickly, and she fell silent for a moment.
"What?" Chandler sat up straight, and cocked his head to the side.
Monica's courage returned, but her voice didn't. She leaned forward quickly, and captured Chandler's lips with her own.
Chandler jumped, startled by Monica's gesture. He closed his eyes, and, for a sweet moment, let himself forget all that was happening in his life. He kissed her back. And soon, nothing else mattered.
He didn't let himself think about the inevitable. He didn't want to think about what tomorrow would bring. He let Monica kiss him, he let her lead him into her bedroom, and when they made love that night, he pretended that his life was not ending, and that it was, in fact, just beginning. They made love twice, (a remarkable feat, considering Chandler's condition) and as he drifted off to sleep, he heard her whisper the words that brought back everything that he had blocked out all night---words that broke his heart.
"I love you."
~*~
If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We always had time on our side
Now it's fading fast
Every second, every moment
We've got to, we've got to make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd still be friends someday
If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste one single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll run the other way
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You've got to, you've got to say you will
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd meet again
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd still be friends
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we'd meet again someday ("If You Leave" by OMD)
Chapter Six: If You Leave
May
Monica walked into the apartment to find Chandler asleep on the sofa, Sadie snuggled safely in his arms. She smiled, and for just a moment, let herself believe that her life would always be this picture perfect.
It was never her intention to fall in love with Chandler. But somewhere along the way, (although she wasn't sure when it was exactly) she'd let herself fall. She knew that she was setting herself up for inevitable heartbreak, but she didn't care. From the moment he walked back into her apartment, and into her life, she was fully aware that her feelings for him were real, and much more intense than she ever wanted them to be.
Chandler flinched in his sleep, and let out a strangled sigh, and Monica's illusions shattered. He really was sick. And all of the love in the world wasn't going to change that fact. She sunk into her overstuffed reading chair, and let out a small sob. Then she made a decision; she had to tell him. She needed him to know. She closed her eyes, and was soon dreaming of a simpler, more perfect life.
*
Chandler opened his eyes, and looked down at Sadie, who was still sound asleep in his arms. He smiled, happy to have moments like this to cherish. But Sadie was sleeping in a funny position, her head tilted slightly back, and her mouth open. He decided that she might be more comfortable on the bed, so he sat up carefully, and wrapped his arms around her. He moved to stand, but he had no strength in him. He struggled for a moment, and was finally able to stand slowly. Sadie shifted slightly, and Chandler moved to adjust her in his arms. His knees buckled, and he fell backward toward the sofa.
Monica opened her eyes in time to see Sadie shift and Chandler fall. She sat up, and silently took Sadie from Chandler, then carried her into the bedroom. When she re-emerged, Chandler was sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. She sighed, and sat down next to him.
"I can't even pick her up anymore. I feel so..useless," Chandler sighed, and leaned back on the sofa, deflated.
"Chandler, you just woke up. And Sadie is getting too big to be carried anyway."
"I hate this," Chandler said softly, his eyes welling up with tears.
Monica didn't know what to say, so she simply wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight. They were silent for a long while. Finally Chandler let out a deep sigh, and kissed Monica on the top of her head.
"Thank you, Mon," he whispered.
"For what?" Monica looked up at Chandler quizzically.
"For.everything," Chandler smiled.
Monica smiled, took a deep breath. She suddenly felt her heart pounding against her chest rapidly. She pulled away from Chandler, and looked at her hands.
"Chandler, I know that all of this is hard on you. But I want you to know that I do intend to take care of Sadie, and.you, too. I want to make this as easy as I can..just tell me what you need."
"I need you to tell me what is bothering you, Mon. Is this too much for you? Should I look at staying somewhere else? You look exhausted."
"No! No, Chandler, everything is..I mean, I'm fine. I love having you here, and I love having Sadie here. I love Sadie, I think she's great, and I..I mean, I hope she likes me, too."
"She does. She told me, she thinks you are great."
"The thing is, Chandler..I need you here. I..I don't want you to leave."
"We'll stay, then, if that's what you want. But Mon, I won't be here forever. You know that." Chandler looked at Monica intently.
"I know," Monica continued staring at her hands. She took a shaky breath, then looked up, to find Chandler staring at her. She bit her bottom lip, "But..I can't help feeling that.." Monica's courage, and her vocabulary, slipped away quickly, and she fell silent for a moment.
"What?" Chandler sat up straight, and cocked his head to the side.
Monica's courage returned, but her voice didn't. She leaned forward quickly, and captured Chandler's lips with her own.
Chandler jumped, startled by Monica's gesture. He closed his eyes, and, for a sweet moment, let himself forget all that was happening in his life. He kissed her back. And soon, nothing else mattered.
He didn't let himself think about the inevitable. He didn't want to think about what tomorrow would bring. He let Monica kiss him, he let her lead him into her bedroom, and when they made love that night, he pretended that his life was not ending, and that it was, in fact, just beginning. They made love twice, (a remarkable feat, considering Chandler's condition) and as he drifted off to sleep, he heard her whisper the words that brought back everything that he had blocked out all night---words that broke his heart.
"I love you."
~*~
If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We always had time on our side
Now it's fading fast
Every second, every moment
We've got to, we've got to make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd still be friends someday
If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste one single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll run the other way
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You've got to, you've got to say you will
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd meet again
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
We always said we'd still be friends
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we'd meet again someday ("If You Leave" by OMD)