~A Very Good Year~
Chapter Nine: Someone to Watch Over Me
September
"It's her birthday, and we should have a party," Chandler argued quietly.
"Chandler, you can barely stand up. Sadie will understand if it's just us- "
"Mon, I want to have a party. This is my last birthday with Sadie. Please."
"Fine," Monica relented. She placed her hand on Chandler's cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," Chandler smiled, and laid his head back down on the pillow.
Monica sighed. She knew he wanted to hold on to whatever shred of normalcy he had left, but she was growing increasingly concerned about his insistence to do things like throw a big birthday party for Sadie. His vision was becoming worse each week, and in fact, he was legally blind in his left eye. His arms and legs refused to work the way he wanted them too, and his growing frustration with his rapidly failing body was making him difficult to live with. Monica smiled sadly, as she pictured a world with her and Chandler growing old together, watching each of their bodies give way to nature and time. They would have ragged on each other, as things began to sag, falter, or just stop working altogether. He would lose his hearing, and she would have to yell to be heard; She would worry about her wrinkles, and he would tell her she was more beautiful than ever. They would have been happy, but cranky.
But this would never be. Chandler was weeks away from death: he would net see her wrinkles, he would not be there at all.
He would not see his daughter grow up.
The realities of that were haunting Chandler now more than ever. He was scared, not of dying, but of the idea that his daughter will soon forget him. Monica had assured him, time and time again that she would not let that happen, that all of his friends would keep Chandler alive with their memories of him. But it was all for not: Chandler's depression was evident, and it was so imbedded that Monica feared he would do something, or say something he'd regret.
One week later, her fears came to pass.
Joey and Monica took Sadie for a walk in Central Park, while Chandler slept. He awoke to an empty apartment, and his poor vision made it difficult for him to navigate the apartment. When Joey, Monica and Sadie returned, he was so frustrated with his own disabilities, he took it out on the people he was closest to.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"We took Sadie for a walk, Chandler. You were asleep, we thought it'd be okay," Monica stated calmly.
"What if I needed you?" Chandler spat.
"I'm sorry, okay? You were asleep, and we thought----"
"We? Who is 'We'?"
"Me and Joey."
"Chandler---" Joey said, as he placed Sadie on the floor.
"What, are you two dating now?" Chandler asked Monica.
"What?" Monica asked, startled.
"Look, Joey, I don't know what Monica told you, but Sadie already has a father, okay?"
"Chandler, you're being an ass!" Monica screeched, "This is ridiculous!"
"Is it? Can't you at least wait until I'm dead, Monica?"
Monica tried to respond, but her voice caught in her throat. Instead she slapped Chandler across the face, and ran into the bedroom.
"We just want to help, man," Joey whispered, after a long silence.
"Leave me alone," Chandler growled, and fumbled toward the sofa.
Joey picked up a sobbing Sadie, and walked out of the apartment.
~****~
October
The tension between Chandler and Monica & Chandler and Joey was evident during Sadie's party. The others did their best to ignore it, all of them intent on giving Sadie a wonderful birthday. It wasn't until it was over, and Sadie was tucked safely in bed, that Chandler realized that his own self-absorption had caused him to miss out on his daughter's birthday. Ross, Rachel and their children, and Phoebe, Monica and Joey all sat silently in the kitchen, while Chandler lay in the same place he laid throughout the party---the sofa.
"Well, Chandler, I hope you're proud of yourself," Monica finally said coldly.
Chandler closed his eyes, and let out a strangled sigh.
"Maybe we should go," Rachel said softly.
"No, I'll go," Chandler whispered, and stood slowly.
"You can't go anywhere," Monica said matter-of-factly.
"I'm going to go sleep with my daughter," Chandler said softly, and began shuffling toward the room. He stopped when he reached the doorway, and turned to his friends.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what's come over me lately. I don't want to die with all of you hating me----hating the person I've become. Make sure you remind Sadie---I wasn't always like this."
"Chandler, you have to let us help you, okay?" Monica's voice softened considerably.
"I don't---yes, I need help, I guess. I'm just..I'm exhausted. I'm tired."
Monica walked across the room, and pulled Chandler into her arms.
"I know," she whispered, "I know."
"Marry me, Monica," Chandler whispered, too softly for anyone but her to hear.
"What?" Monica pulled away, wide-eyed.
"You heard me," Chandler smiled.
"Chandler----"
"It'll make it easier: Easier for you to adopt Sadie legally. And it'll make us official----Forever."
"Yes," Monica smiled, and stood nose to nose with her new fiancé, "Yes."
Chapter Nine: Someone to Watch Over Me
September
"It's her birthday, and we should have a party," Chandler argued quietly.
"Chandler, you can barely stand up. Sadie will understand if it's just us- "
"Mon, I want to have a party. This is my last birthday with Sadie. Please."
"Fine," Monica relented. She placed her hand on Chandler's cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," Chandler smiled, and laid his head back down on the pillow.
Monica sighed. She knew he wanted to hold on to whatever shred of normalcy he had left, but she was growing increasingly concerned about his insistence to do things like throw a big birthday party for Sadie. His vision was becoming worse each week, and in fact, he was legally blind in his left eye. His arms and legs refused to work the way he wanted them too, and his growing frustration with his rapidly failing body was making him difficult to live with. Monica smiled sadly, as she pictured a world with her and Chandler growing old together, watching each of their bodies give way to nature and time. They would have ragged on each other, as things began to sag, falter, or just stop working altogether. He would lose his hearing, and she would have to yell to be heard; She would worry about her wrinkles, and he would tell her she was more beautiful than ever. They would have been happy, but cranky.
But this would never be. Chandler was weeks away from death: he would net see her wrinkles, he would not be there at all.
He would not see his daughter grow up.
The realities of that were haunting Chandler now more than ever. He was scared, not of dying, but of the idea that his daughter will soon forget him. Monica had assured him, time and time again that she would not let that happen, that all of his friends would keep Chandler alive with their memories of him. But it was all for not: Chandler's depression was evident, and it was so imbedded that Monica feared he would do something, or say something he'd regret.
One week later, her fears came to pass.
Joey and Monica took Sadie for a walk in Central Park, while Chandler slept. He awoke to an empty apartment, and his poor vision made it difficult for him to navigate the apartment. When Joey, Monica and Sadie returned, he was so frustrated with his own disabilities, he took it out on the people he was closest to.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"We took Sadie for a walk, Chandler. You were asleep, we thought it'd be okay," Monica stated calmly.
"What if I needed you?" Chandler spat.
"I'm sorry, okay? You were asleep, and we thought----"
"We? Who is 'We'?"
"Me and Joey."
"Chandler---" Joey said, as he placed Sadie on the floor.
"What, are you two dating now?" Chandler asked Monica.
"What?" Monica asked, startled.
"Look, Joey, I don't know what Monica told you, but Sadie already has a father, okay?"
"Chandler, you're being an ass!" Monica screeched, "This is ridiculous!"
"Is it? Can't you at least wait until I'm dead, Monica?"
Monica tried to respond, but her voice caught in her throat. Instead she slapped Chandler across the face, and ran into the bedroom.
"We just want to help, man," Joey whispered, after a long silence.
"Leave me alone," Chandler growled, and fumbled toward the sofa.
Joey picked up a sobbing Sadie, and walked out of the apartment.
~****~
October
The tension between Chandler and Monica & Chandler and Joey was evident during Sadie's party. The others did their best to ignore it, all of them intent on giving Sadie a wonderful birthday. It wasn't until it was over, and Sadie was tucked safely in bed, that Chandler realized that his own self-absorption had caused him to miss out on his daughter's birthday. Ross, Rachel and their children, and Phoebe, Monica and Joey all sat silently in the kitchen, while Chandler lay in the same place he laid throughout the party---the sofa.
"Well, Chandler, I hope you're proud of yourself," Monica finally said coldly.
Chandler closed his eyes, and let out a strangled sigh.
"Maybe we should go," Rachel said softly.
"No, I'll go," Chandler whispered, and stood slowly.
"You can't go anywhere," Monica said matter-of-factly.
"I'm going to go sleep with my daughter," Chandler said softly, and began shuffling toward the room. He stopped when he reached the doorway, and turned to his friends.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what's come over me lately. I don't want to die with all of you hating me----hating the person I've become. Make sure you remind Sadie---I wasn't always like this."
"Chandler, you have to let us help you, okay?" Monica's voice softened considerably.
"I don't---yes, I need help, I guess. I'm just..I'm exhausted. I'm tired."
Monica walked across the room, and pulled Chandler into her arms.
"I know," she whispered, "I know."
"Marry me, Monica," Chandler whispered, too softly for anyone but her to hear.
"What?" Monica pulled away, wide-eyed.
"You heard me," Chandler smiled.
"Chandler----"
"It'll make it easier: Easier for you to adopt Sadie legally. And it'll make us official----Forever."
"Yes," Monica smiled, and stood nose to nose with her new fiancé, "Yes."