A/n: Sirius causes trouble (not the funny kind, though) in this chapter,
but don't get mad about it!. He's gonna make up for things in the next
chapter (cuz I love sirius!) but in this one, he seemed like the best
person to mess things up so here goes.
FIVE/GIVE UP, MUDBLOOD
9:00 that night, James was sitting in the common room, arm around Victoria. She'd forgiven him later that afternoon, but James was still fuming inside. He knew he should just break up with Jiji and Victoria, and ask Lily out, but for some reason he couldn't do it. Though, deep down, he knew the reason why. Victoria was as popular as him, if not more. If they broke up, he could loose a lot of what made him popular.
James's fan club began gathering around, and Remus, Sirius, and Peter joined him in front of the fire to entertain. Tonight, they were trying to see what would happen if you crossed a chocolate frog with a fire-newt.
Lily approached the group cautiously- she was more nervous than she'd even been in her life. Not only was she about to admit to James that she had a crush on him, Victoria might loose her temper, and everything might go wrong.
James saw Lily out of the corner of his eye, though he made no move to go talk to her. Not only would Victoria loose it, but his friends would made a huge scene that he couldn't afford to have made right now.
James didn't even reprimand himself this time. If he couldn't be with Lily, then why continue on his quest to being a better person? If there was no Lily there to keep him going, then he'd stay the way he was, with Victoria and his fan club. Because, though James refused to admit it to himself, that's what it all came down to. He COULD have been with Lily, had he chosen to be, but the fear of what loosing Victoria would cost him blinded him, held him back from the truth. And, terrible as this was, he could have changed his mind. But little did he know that soon, it would be too late.
Lily watched until Sirius began the charm for crossing the chocolate frog & newt, then said, "James."
He pretended like he didn't hear her.
Lily's heart was pounding. She knew he heard her. Damn that Victoria, she'd caused so much trouble.
"James," she said a bit louder. His eyes flickered to her, but a few others in the group had noticed her trying to get his attention, so he turned back to his friends. If he had to talk to her, it wasn't going to be in front of these people.
Lily stared at James. Thoughts of asking him out were completely forgotten, now she was just getting annoyed. Why wouldn't he talk to her?
"James!" She said loudly, over the laughing of the crowd. Sirius had managed to mix the two things, and it had resulted in a chocolate- covered newt that was bouncing around and breathing fire. This time, James turned to look at her, but caught Victoria's eye on his way. She was glaring.
"Hey, James, I think Lily's trying to get your attention," Peter muttered to James.
"Thanks wormtail, I think I figured that out," James said coldly. He was making things worse, but he really didn't know how to act. Victoria was right here, and if he'd given up on Lily, then he really didn't have to talk to her.
Lily stepped forward, as if to pull James aside. She didn't know what was coming over her, but she refused to believe what she knew was true. James had lost the bet, and he was ignoring her. He was no different than Cass and Susana said he was. And she was about to make a big mistake.
"James," she said again. This time, he couldn't deny that he'd heard her. He turned around, but Sirius got there first.
"Scuse me, Lilian, but Mr. Potter is entertaining his friends. He's busy, go away."
"Screw you, Sirius, " Lily said as a few people laughed. "I need to talk to James."
"I thought you and Miss Victoria had a talk about this at lunch?" Sirius asked. The laughter died out when Vicky's name was mentioned, because she stood up. Things were about to get ugly.
"That's right, we did," Victoria said. "Does it look to you like James can talk right now?"
"I don't think I was talking to YOU, Vicky," Lily responded coldly, glaring at the pretty girl that was now standing in front of her.
"I don't care who you were talking to, you great prat," Victoria snarled. The common room had gone dead silent. "He's MY boyfriend. Back off."
"I don't care WHOSE boyfriend he is, I'm not trying to steal him. I need to TALK to him. And if you weren't such an overprotective bitch, maybe you'd see that!"
The following silence seemed to press in around them. No one moved, and many people held their breaths.
"What did you just call me?" Victoria asked in a low, vicious voice. Lily couldn't help it, she backed up a few steps. "I wouldn't be talking so confidently if I were you, Lily Evans. You're nothing, and you never will be. James will never date you, don't you see that? You're just an overachieving mudblood with no friends. Give up. It was a mistake when he talked to you the first time, and I'll make sure he's never going to again."
Someone in the back of the crowd gave a stifled gasp when Victoria said "mudblood." Sirius and James were looking at the floor, both feeling as if they'd done something wrong. James obviously HAD, Victoria had made that clear. Sirius shifted uneasily, upset that he'd brought Victoria into this. Lily, who was crying now, looked at James for a brief moment, then ran out of the common room and through the portrait hole.
No one followed her.
Lily ran blindly, tears blurring her vision. When she stopped, nearly ten minutes later, she found herself beside the staircase to the dungeons, near the entrance hall. She sank down to the floor, back against the wall, sniffling and rubbing her eyes. She could barely think, only two thoughts were able to form in her mind. The first was that she shouldn't have persisted in talking to James just then. The second was that she'd just lost all hope in ever dating James. She sobbed, hearing Victoria's voice saying "mudblood" over and over again in her mind. Never, in her six years at Hogwarts, had she been as ashamed of being muggle-born as she was now.
Lily sat against the wall for a long time, much later than any student should be allowed out of their dormitories. But, to her great luck, Lily wasn't caught. She snuck quietly back up to Gryffindor tower, and when she entered, she saw that the room was empty. Considering herself extremely lucky, she settled into an armchair by the fireplace. There was no way she was going up to the dormitory tonight, Victoria might kill her in her sleep. Or she might kill Victoria.
Settling in, Lily closed her eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep, "mudblood" echoing through her mind. She tossed and turned, and finally curled up tightly on the chair, where she was able to calm down enough to get some real sleep.
And that's where James found her early the next morning.
FIVE/GIVE UP, MUDBLOOD
9:00 that night, James was sitting in the common room, arm around Victoria. She'd forgiven him later that afternoon, but James was still fuming inside. He knew he should just break up with Jiji and Victoria, and ask Lily out, but for some reason he couldn't do it. Though, deep down, he knew the reason why. Victoria was as popular as him, if not more. If they broke up, he could loose a lot of what made him popular.
James's fan club began gathering around, and Remus, Sirius, and Peter joined him in front of the fire to entertain. Tonight, they were trying to see what would happen if you crossed a chocolate frog with a fire-newt.
Lily approached the group cautiously- she was more nervous than she'd even been in her life. Not only was she about to admit to James that she had a crush on him, Victoria might loose her temper, and everything might go wrong.
James saw Lily out of the corner of his eye, though he made no move to go talk to her. Not only would Victoria loose it, but his friends would made a huge scene that he couldn't afford to have made right now.
James didn't even reprimand himself this time. If he couldn't be with Lily, then why continue on his quest to being a better person? If there was no Lily there to keep him going, then he'd stay the way he was, with Victoria and his fan club. Because, though James refused to admit it to himself, that's what it all came down to. He COULD have been with Lily, had he chosen to be, but the fear of what loosing Victoria would cost him blinded him, held him back from the truth. And, terrible as this was, he could have changed his mind. But little did he know that soon, it would be too late.
Lily watched until Sirius began the charm for crossing the chocolate frog & newt, then said, "James."
He pretended like he didn't hear her.
Lily's heart was pounding. She knew he heard her. Damn that Victoria, she'd caused so much trouble.
"James," she said a bit louder. His eyes flickered to her, but a few others in the group had noticed her trying to get his attention, so he turned back to his friends. If he had to talk to her, it wasn't going to be in front of these people.
Lily stared at James. Thoughts of asking him out were completely forgotten, now she was just getting annoyed. Why wouldn't he talk to her?
"James!" She said loudly, over the laughing of the crowd. Sirius had managed to mix the two things, and it had resulted in a chocolate- covered newt that was bouncing around and breathing fire. This time, James turned to look at her, but caught Victoria's eye on his way. She was glaring.
"Hey, James, I think Lily's trying to get your attention," Peter muttered to James.
"Thanks wormtail, I think I figured that out," James said coldly. He was making things worse, but he really didn't know how to act. Victoria was right here, and if he'd given up on Lily, then he really didn't have to talk to her.
Lily stepped forward, as if to pull James aside. She didn't know what was coming over her, but she refused to believe what she knew was true. James had lost the bet, and he was ignoring her. He was no different than Cass and Susana said he was. And she was about to make a big mistake.
"James," she said again. This time, he couldn't deny that he'd heard her. He turned around, but Sirius got there first.
"Scuse me, Lilian, but Mr. Potter is entertaining his friends. He's busy, go away."
"Screw you, Sirius, " Lily said as a few people laughed. "I need to talk to James."
"I thought you and Miss Victoria had a talk about this at lunch?" Sirius asked. The laughter died out when Vicky's name was mentioned, because she stood up. Things were about to get ugly.
"That's right, we did," Victoria said. "Does it look to you like James can talk right now?"
"I don't think I was talking to YOU, Vicky," Lily responded coldly, glaring at the pretty girl that was now standing in front of her.
"I don't care who you were talking to, you great prat," Victoria snarled. The common room had gone dead silent. "He's MY boyfriend. Back off."
"I don't care WHOSE boyfriend he is, I'm not trying to steal him. I need to TALK to him. And if you weren't such an overprotective bitch, maybe you'd see that!"
The following silence seemed to press in around them. No one moved, and many people held their breaths.
"What did you just call me?" Victoria asked in a low, vicious voice. Lily couldn't help it, she backed up a few steps. "I wouldn't be talking so confidently if I were you, Lily Evans. You're nothing, and you never will be. James will never date you, don't you see that? You're just an overachieving mudblood with no friends. Give up. It was a mistake when he talked to you the first time, and I'll make sure he's never going to again."
Someone in the back of the crowd gave a stifled gasp when Victoria said "mudblood." Sirius and James were looking at the floor, both feeling as if they'd done something wrong. James obviously HAD, Victoria had made that clear. Sirius shifted uneasily, upset that he'd brought Victoria into this. Lily, who was crying now, looked at James for a brief moment, then ran out of the common room and through the portrait hole.
No one followed her.
Lily ran blindly, tears blurring her vision. When she stopped, nearly ten minutes later, she found herself beside the staircase to the dungeons, near the entrance hall. She sank down to the floor, back against the wall, sniffling and rubbing her eyes. She could barely think, only two thoughts were able to form in her mind. The first was that she shouldn't have persisted in talking to James just then. The second was that she'd just lost all hope in ever dating James. She sobbed, hearing Victoria's voice saying "mudblood" over and over again in her mind. Never, in her six years at Hogwarts, had she been as ashamed of being muggle-born as she was now.
Lily sat against the wall for a long time, much later than any student should be allowed out of their dormitories. But, to her great luck, Lily wasn't caught. She snuck quietly back up to Gryffindor tower, and when she entered, she saw that the room was empty. Considering herself extremely lucky, she settled into an armchair by the fireplace. There was no way she was going up to the dormitory tonight, Victoria might kill her in her sleep. Or she might kill Victoria.
Settling in, Lily closed her eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep, "mudblood" echoing through her mind. She tossed and turned, and finally curled up tightly on the chair, where she was able to calm down enough to get some real sleep.
And that's where James found her early the next morning.