At the River's Edge
By Tracy LeCates
Peter's pacing brought him back down the hall to the door once again.
"Peter, stop hovering!"
"I'm not!"
"You're hovering, Peter!"
"Nick, I'm not!"
"You are! You're standing right on the other side of this door, hovering! I can hear you breathing through the door!"
"Well, what would you like me to do, Nicole? Stop breathing?" Peter asked from the hall side of the bathroom door.
There was no answer from inside the bathroom, save for a low chuckle.
"Oh, very nice, Nick. Okay, fine, I get the hint." Peter grinned despite himself. "Love you," he laughed softly before turning away from the door.
"Love you too."
Peter could hear the smile in her voice as he walked back down the hall to the living room to wait for her. Sinking down onto the large sectional sofa, the grin persisting on his face, he took in the silence of the penthouse. The twins were tormenting his father for the weekend, and he found himself missing the sound of screaming toddlers tearing apart everything in sight. Long ago the guns had been moved from the dresser drawers to a securely locked box high atop the chifferobe in the bedroom... soon they would have to be removed from the house all together. The twins managed to get into everything. Peter and Nicole had both had to grow an extra pair of eyes in the backs of their heads to cope with the tiny terrors. Physically they were tiny version of Nicole, both with thick dark hair and smoke grey eyes, though only Caitlyn had inherited her mother's disposition. She'd demonstrated her proficiency at the patented 'Nicole-glare' only a month ago, and had, so far, only directed it at her mother. In that little girl's eyes, her father could do no wrong, and her mother was the demon from Hell. Nicole, for her part, bore it all with a patience Peter had been surprised to see she possessed. Paul was the quiet one, like his father, bright and introspective, quietly questioning everything he saw and heard. While Cait's first and favorite word was "No", Paul's was "Why".
The bathroom door finally opened and Peter shot to his feet as Nicole strolled back down the hall, a determinedly neutral expression on her face. "Well?" Peter urged.
Nicole sighed dramatically and extended the plastic stick she held in her hands for his inspection, "Well, it looks like you've gone and done it ... you've impregnated me with your demon spawn once again." The light in her eyes was unmistakable as the grin spread wide across her face. It was an unplanned event, but not an unwelcome one.
Peter grabbed her into a tight embrace. "Another monster for us," he laughed excitedly.
"Now, remember!" she pointed a finger at him as she pulled away slightly, "NO hovering. The doctor said we could have as many kids as we wanted, but if we don't want a repeat of last time, I have to stay as un-stressed as possible. And that means that YOU have to behave yourself."
An exaggerated look of angelic innocence crossed his features, "Me? I always behave myself."
Nicole's snort of laughter was the only reply he received to that statement.
"Nice laugh," he teased. "As far as behaving myself goes, I think that quitting the police force has pretty much ruled out the possibility of getting shot, stabbed, or injected with something that's going to give me seizures and amnesia... so I think we've cut down the stress factor immeasurably since last time," he promised.
One of the results of their blowup two years ago, following the birth of their twins, was that Peter had handed in his resignation to Captain Simms and the Commissioner, and had joined Griffin Caine Investigations as a third and equal partner. He'd had his doubts, to be sure, but the past two years had proved anything but boring. In fact, just six months ago the three of them had uncovered one of the largest investment fraud rings in the country and had wound up on national television. It was quite possibly the first time he'd ever seen his wife struck into dumb silence, when the red light on the camera went on. He smirked with the memory. "It'll be different this time around, Nick, I promise. Neither of us is out there in the line of fire any longer, and I promise I will keep the hovering down to a minimum. God, another monster for us," he laughed, pulling her back into his arms. "And you said you'd never do this again," he teased.
"I also seem to recall threatening your manhood when labor first started with Cait. Looks like we're going to be needing a bigger place," Nicole prompted, her arms wrapped tightly around her husband's neck. Her eyes wandered around the living room of the penthouse they'd been sharing for the past three years. She'd lived there alone for two years before they'd married, and since his arrival, it had been a real home. There were some wonderful memories contained within those
walls. But it was only a two bedroom, and the twins would be needing rooms of their own soon, and with the new baby on the way, they'd need a nursery as well. It was time for a house.
"Househunting Sunday, how's that?" Peter offered, pulling her down onto the couch next to him, kissing the back of her hand.
Nicole nodded in agreement. "I'll be kind of sad to leave this place, but we do need a house. At least four bedrooms. More than that if you plan to continue impregnating me with your demon spawn."
"God, you've mellowed." Peter poked fun at her, cringing already, bracing himself for her to blow a gasket.
There was no tirade forthcoming this time, only a soft chuckle. "Mellow," she repeated. "I used to be able to sense danger a mile away, now I can sense a dirty diaper. I've gone from hired killer to housewife in one easy lesson. You want to know the most depressing part? Last month when I cut myself and had to go get my hand stitched, the staff at the hospital didn't even flinch when I came through the doors. I've lost my touch."
"If it makes you feel any better, you still scare me," Peter offered with a small smile.
Nicole laughed. "You should be scared. I'm about to enter that 'bundle of raging hormones' stage of pregnancy now."
Peter cringed for real that time.
****************
"It's perfect," Nicole whispered to herself, standing in the empty living room of the large colonial house with the For Sale sign in the yard.
"Nick, come on out," Peter called to her from the open doorway.
"I want to look around a little more!" she called back out. "Come in here! You have to see the size of this fireplace!"
"Nick, I really think we should have waited for the agent to get here before coming in." He shook his head at her from the door... the door she'd picked the lock to a few minutes ago, unwilling to wait for the real estate agent who appeared to be running a little late.
"So arrest me. Oh! That's right! You're not a cop anymore! Get in here," she groaned, pulling him in through the open door by the arm. "Since when did a locked door ever keep a Caine out anyway?"
Peter followed her into the house, as though he had much of a choice. His eyes took in the expansive rooms of the first floor, the polished hardwood floors and the high ceilings. "It's beautiful," he agreed, his feet taking him up the staircase of their own accord, with his wife behind him. There were five bedrooms on the second floor, and three bathrooms, including the large one in the master suite. That one came complete with a jacuzzi. Peter's smile grew larger, "Look at the size of that tub."
"I'm looking, I'm looking," Nicole assured him, slipping her arms around his waist from behind.
Peter chuckled. "I guess you weren't kidding about the raging bundle of hormones. I'm gonna have to see if Pop can give me something to keep my strength up for the next couple of months if this continues."
"You really can't pawn off that bodyguarding detail on Kermit tonight?" she asked hopefully.
"Nope, sorry. He made it real clear he needed tonight free. I will be home just as soon as our client is delivered safe and sound back to her home. Promise," he assured her, turning to embrace her. Bodyguarding in this case had turned out to be nothing more than a couple of hours worth of standing around looking pretty while their client, who swore she was being followed, went shopping and out dining with her friends in some of the most elegant restaurants in town. It also included driving the inebriated client home at the end of the evening.
"Okay, okay." She nodded in disappointment, moving away from Peter, back through the master bedroom and down the hall. "Kids rooms... nursery... maybe an office?" she asked, poking her head into each of the bedrooms.
"Sure. You could use a place to work while you're home," he agreed, taking a look out one of the windows at the back yard. "Nick? How about a playset over there... and maybe a little Oriental garden on the other side? Maybe put in a little koi pond?" Peter was starting to envision them here, living in this house. The penthouse had been great, but this... this was a home.
"Maybe a workout room in the finished basement," she suggested, already making up her mind that this was it. It was the first house on their list of places to look at today, but it appeared as though they'd struck gold already.
"Hello?" a voice from downstairs called up. The real estate agent had arrived, and they had a house to purchase.
********
"No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO!"
Nicole sighed in frustration, running a hand through her hair as she knelt on the floor in the twins bedroom. "Caitlyn, I asked nicely, now I'm telling you... the toys go back in the toybox when you're done playing."
The two year old stood with her arms crossed, her grey eyes gleaming with defiance. "NO!"
"Cait... pick up the toys, or no dinner."
Cait stood perfectly still, her eyes locked with her mother's and Nicole found herself forcing back the laughter she felt rising in herself. This kid was nothing but a miniature version of herself. She could see in those eyes that the toddler was weighing her options. She wanted dinner, but didn't want to pick up the toys, and most of all... didn't want to back down.
"Nick? Dinner's getting cold." Peter stuck his head into the small bedroom to see what was taking the two women in his life such a long time to come out. He hid his smile, seeing the Mexican standoff that was taking place. "Caitlyn, pick up your toys and come eat dinner," he ordered in his perfectly reasonable 'dad' voice.
Cait's face lit up at the sight of her father and a large smile spread across her face, "'kay," she agreed, bending to pick up her toys and place them in the open toybox.
Nicole looked up at Peter with a silent groan as she stood and walked out of the room, "Sure, easy for you," she whispered, poking him in the stomach on her way by. The kid could never be anything but a perfect angel for her father. "What time are you leaving?" she asked from the hall.
"Right after dinner. Ms. Collings is expecting me at 8:00, so I have to pretty myself up and get over there," Peter answered, standing in the doorway to the twins room, watching his eldest putting away her toys. "I'll be home as early as I can."
"She really thinks someone is stalking her, doesn't she?" Nicole shook her head. Peter and Kermit had been babysitting this woman for three weeks and no one had come near her yet. It was bringing in quite a good sum of money, but... it felt like a waste of time for all of them.
"Yes, she does," Peter laughed as Cait grabbed him around the knees in a hug, smiling up at him. "You ready for dinner, sweetpea?" he reached down to scoop her up.
"Come on you two, dinner and then a bath for two certain kids I know, while Daddy goes off to save the world." Nicole grabbed Paul off the couch, swinging him around on her way to the dining area.
*************
Peter sighed tiredly, leaning against the closed door. It had been a long, long night. Maybe not long by the measure of the clock, but long by the measure of his heart, which wanted to be home tonight. It was almost midnight, and he'd just delivered their client home, half 'in the bag', as usual. He'd seen her into her house, a veritable fortress of a home, and had waited until she'd set her alarms to leave.
It was a clear night, the stars above shining brightly, a cool breeze whispering across his shoulders and through his hair as he made his way down the slate walkway to the Stealth. The sound of him slamming the car door broke the silence of the night, setting one of the client's dogs to barking again. Peter turned the key in the ignition, pumping the gas pedal several times when the engine cranked, but didn't turn over. "Come on, come on," he chanted. The car ignored his chanting and stubbornly refused to start. All right, so the Stealth wasn't the brand new car it once had been, but 'Damnit', he thought to himself, 'if the stinking Mustang can start every day after 30 years for Nick, why can't this one go ten years?'
Peter slammed an open hand on the steering wheel in frustration, and picked up his cell phone with a grimace. Nicole answered on the third ring, he'd woken her again. "Nick, it's me... yeah I know what time it is... No, no, just the Stealth... no, it won't start again... I know, I know..." He smiled a little at her half asleep tirade about his lack of attention to regular maintenance for his car. "Could you come get me? It's Friday night, I'm sure the girl downstairs is still up, maybe she could watch the kids for a few minutes while you do your magic with the car... Thank you, Nick," he laughed as she grumbled something about men in general and hung up.
It would take her at least 15 minutes to get out of the apartment, and another 15 to get there... so with a half hour to kill, Peter got out of the car, closing the door more quietly this time so as not to awaken the dog inside again, and wandered across the lawn. The grounds were exquisitely maintained, manicured and professionally designed. A small koi pond provided peaceful solace in the corner of the yard, and Peter settled himself onto the stone bench beside it, imagining this pond in his own yard. The yard behind the large Colonial he and Nicole had put the binder down on just that morning. Peter felt the smile on his face as he sat there. Life was good. He had a wife he adored and would definitely never, ever get bored with... two kids, another baby on the way, and now a house. Not to mention a business that he'd helped to build from the ground up. His life was, at that moment, just about as complete as he'd ever hoped.
A sound off to his left, close to the house, caught his attention. His ears strained for the sound again and his head came up, turning slowly in that direction. The sound reached his ears again... a slow, stealthy sound, unlike the random, quick, light footfalls of an animal.... Peter rose to his feet and made his way silently toward the front of the house. His steps made no sound as he approached the shadow his eyes could now discern in the bushes outside the first floor window. Peter's hand moved to the gun at his right hip, removing the weapon from its' holster. "Hold it right there!" he commanded in the cop-voice he'd never quite lost.
The shadowy figure turned quickly in surprise, dropping the tool in his hand and making a quick motion to his jacket.
Peter brought the gun up, "FREEZE!"
Lights flooded the lawn and bushes as the Mustang roared up the driveway.
Distracted for a split second, Peter's attention shifted to the car and the night was ripped apart by the sound of gunshots.
Nicole slammed the car into park and scrambled over the door of the car, her revolver already in hand, and ran at top speed toward the sound of the gunfire.
The figure in black was already disappearing around the back of the house at a run and she dropped to her knees beside the fallen body... of her husband.
The sounds of the shots and Nicole's screams woke a neighbor, who called the police.
**********
It had been a long time since the staff at County had seen the Caine family. And they had not been missed.
Peter had been brought in an hour ago, and already the waiting room was full. Nicole had ridden along in the ambulance with her husband, making her presence known as she swung back and forth from the loving wife who whispered soft encouragement into the ear of her wounded husband, to the screaming terror who supervised every move the paramedics made.
Now, out of her sight, Peter was in the hands of the surgeons who worked to control his bleeding, stabilize him, and to remove the four bullets he'd taken. It had been touch and go the whole way to the hospital, and the attendants who brought him in had not held much hope the man would even make it to surgery. And with a wife like he had, they thought it might be kindest to just let him go.
Yet, Peter had clung stubbornly to life, his heart refusing to stop beating, though there had been no signs of consciousness.
Nicole had called Kermit from the hospital, waking he and Karen from a sound sleep. Now, her business partner sat in the waiting room, watching her pace. Kermit had stopped by Caine's apartment, and brought the priest with him. Caine had, in turn, contacted Mary Margaret, who joined him for support. Kermit tried periodically to get Nicole to sit down, but met with little success.
Caine sat on the small sofa in the corner, cross-legged, meditating deeply, trying to maintain the tenuous sense of his son's living presence in the surgical unit. Though he didn't speak, his face alone gave away his worry as he felt the connection fading with each passing minute.
"How is he?" Nicole finally asked, hating to disturb the priest, but her patience had reached its' rather meager limit.
"He is very far away," Caine answered in a whisper, feeling the thin thread between himself and his son.
"Where is he?" Nicole asked anxiously, desperate for some answers, even more desperate for a shred of hope to cling to.
Caine's answer did not inspire that hope. "At the river's edge, waiting."
"Waiting for what?" she demanded impatiently.
"Waiting to cross over if he must." Caine's voice was filled with fear as his eyes opened at last, his energy fading quickly with the effort of maintaining the link.
"NO! NO! You tell him to get his ass back over here!" Nicole's hysteria level was rising. This was the kind of situation she hated most... the kind she couldn't control.
Caine rose from his seat and placed a hand on either of her shoulders, making eye contact with her. "Nicole, you must calm yourself. Peter can sense your fear through the bond you share."
Nicole sank slowly to the chair behind her, breathing deeply and trying to calm herself, she could feel the blood pounding in her veins and rushing in her ears. The knowledge of her pregnancy was hers alone, and she knew if she was to stand
a chance at a normal pregnancy, she had to remain as calm as possible. This situation was not helping.
"He must have peace," Caine coaxed her.
She looked up from her seat. "He must have peace to keep him here?"
"He cannot be... stressed? It will put undue pressure on his chi. He will need all the every ounce of his energy in order to stay with us."
"Can you show me?" she asked, desperate to try anything. "Can you take me there? To the river's edge?"
"I cannot. It is forbidden. If I must, I can only become the bridge for Peter if need be." Caine sighed, taking hold of Nicole's hand.
"Thank you," she relaxed as much as she could. She closed her eyes and tried to meditate, too. She and Peter had spent many hours over the past two years meditating and training with Caine for relaxation, to stay in shape, and to keep their instincts in tune.
"Nicole, you should be with your children. They will need reassurance as well. Even as young as they are, they will sense that something is wrong." Caine took her hands and brought her to her feet. Although no announcement had been made, he was well aware that his daughter-in-law was pregnant again. He also knew the danger to her health the stress of this night posed. "Go see your children. It will be a long time before Peter is out of surgery."
"I'll take you home, Nicole..." Kermit stood and took her arm. The fact she didn't threaten him at the physical contact spoke volumes about how frazzled she was.
Running a hand through her hair, she nodded and picked up her bag., "I'll be back in a few hours" Turning to Skalany, she pointed a finger at her. "You call me if anything changes, and I mean anything at all... if one of those doctors leaves surgery to go to the BATHROOM I want to know about it."
Mary Margaret nodded silently, taking hold of Caine's hand.
*******
"You've always been there Kermit, thank you," Nicole mumbled as she entered the apartment. She'd stopped downstairs and quickly made arrangements for the twins to stay put where they were with their usual sitter.
"You two have always been there for me, and Peter has saved my life a time or two," Kermit replied quietly, sinking down onto the sofa.
"He's gonna be all right, isn't he? I mean... he's been through worse, right?"
"He's got to, Nicole. He's got a family who depends on him," Kermit answered, almost trying to convince himself that everything was going to fine.
Nicole paced around the living room for a few minutes, feeling Peter's absence profoundly already. "We do depend on him you know."
"He knows that and that's why he'll fight with everything he has."
"I never show it. And I certainly never tell him that. All I ever do is yell at him. And I swear to God, that's going to change."
"We all do things we regret, Nicole. That's why Karen and I spend as much time together as we do."
"You two have such a great thing... She doesn't behave like some shrew from hell."
"Oh yeah, and I never let her forget it." Kermit raised his eyebrows above his glasses a few times. "But Nicole, that is why he loves you."
"Because I'm a shrew who never lets him have one single peaceful moment?"
"Because you're a strong woman who can love as fiercely as she fights for what's right."
"Thanks, partner. I'm gonna catch a little nap, and head back to the hospital. You go on home and appreciate your wife. Okay?" She patted his shoulder, a huge display of affection for her.
Kermit shook his head, "I'll stay here with you. Karen said she would drop by in a little while."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome, sweetcakes. Now go lie down."
*********
Nicole fell asleep faster than she thought possible. The darkness in her heart was deeper than the darkness of the room in the predawn hours of the night. Her eyes had scarcely closed before slumber drew her down as into a lover's embrace.
And she dreamed.
~~~Walking through the mist that seemed to have physical weight, Nicole's feet moved instinctively forward. Her vision obscured, she met with no obstacles as she traveled along what felt to be a well-worn path.
The fog gradually lifted, its' smoky tendrils swirling about her feet as she emerged onto a sandy bank. A riverbank... The river flowed by her, the other side obscured by the same mists she'd just traveled through. A motion on the bank caught her eye, a brief glimpse of grey, not quite blending with the fog. She turned quickly and made her way towards the figure she saw standing in the distance, clad in grey.
"Peter," she whispered as she approached. It was Peter... dressed in his Shaolin greys, standing on the bank of the river, staring out at the other side, and at the bridge that disappeared halfway across, swallowed by the fog. "Peter!" she called out.
Peter turned around, startled by the sound of her voice. "Nicole? You shouldn't be here," he answered softly, not moving from his spot.
Her voice was loud in the silence of this world, "I had to be with you."
Peter's head turned back to the river, his voice distant though he was a mere few feet away from her now. "I don't want to leave you and the children, but I might not have a choice this time. I went right passed the Bardo... I think this is where you go when your choices are gone."
"Of course you have a choice, you always have a choice."
"Not always." Peter reached out to her, frowning as his hand passed through her arm. "Not always," he repeated, shaking his head sadly, unable to meet her eyes.
"You do too," she asserted, attempting to remain calm as Caine had instructed, trying not to put undue stress on his spirit. "Did I ever tell you how lucky I am? No, I probably never have."
Peter's eyes at last sought hers. "I know how lucky I was to have found you."
"Peter don't talk like that. Don't use the past tense, you're still with us, you're still alive..."
Peter sighed, tears welling up in his eyes. "Nicole we have to face it..."
"No, no we don't have to face anything except for your recovery. You have a chance. Those doctors are doing everything they can and I'm going back there in a few minutes to make sure none of them is falling asleep at the switch. And you know that nobody can make a doctor work harder than me. Don't you go anywhere on me, Peter, don't you dare..."
Peter wiped his eyes and smiled at her despite himself. "Even in the afterlife, we're fighting."
"I don't want to fight with you Peter, here or there. Don't leave me. Those kids need you. I need you!" she demanded.
"I love you, Nick," Peter leaned over to kiss her... and the dream faded.
Nicole's eyes shot open, her heart hammering in her chest. "KERMIT!!!" she screamed.
"Nicole? Are you all right?" Karen and Kermit came at a run into the bedroom.
"We gotta go, RIGHT NOW, back to the hospital...NOW!!" she ordered, her voice and hands shaking as she threw back the covers and grabbed for her shoes by the side of the bed.
Kermit knew there was no use in arguing with this woman. "Okay, Okay... we're going. Karen, we'll call."
Nicole grabbed her bag and headed quickly for the door.
"Nicole, wait!" Kermit yelled as his cell phone rang.
"What???" she asked impatiently, until she heard the sound of his phone, and her face paled, "Oh, God..."
"Griffin..." he answered.
"What? What? What?" she prodded when he was silent for a few moments.
Kermit slammed the phone shut after a terse reply and quickly pulled Nicole with him out the door.
"WHAT???" she asked again, her eyes glued to his face as they waited for the elevator.
Kermit tried to keep his voice level, "He's out of surgery, but they want you there right now."
* * * * * * * * *
"Where is he???" Nicole demanded as soon as she laid eyes on Dr. Sabourin.
The doctor stepped back from her a bit, replying in her most comforting voice, "Nicole, he's in recovery. We'll take him up to ICU in a minute."
"I need to see him right now," Nicole turned to head towards recovery.
"Nicole, no, not yet. In a few minutes I'll go with you to recovery." The doctor stopped her, a look of concern on her face as she tried to steer Nicole into a waiting room.
Nicole pulled away roughly. "Maybe you didn't hear me, I said I need to see him right now!"
"They've got to make sure he's stable, Nicole."
"Listen, lady, I'M not STABLE -- I need to see him, NOW!"
Kermit stepped in between his partner and the doctor. "Nicks, take it easy. Peter wouldn't want you to come apart like this."
She shook her head. "No, but he would EXPECT me to."
"He would expect you to be calm and not upset yourself."
"Get real. He knows I'm out here threatening people."
"How does he know?" Caine appeared behind her, his face tired and worn.
She shook her head impatiently, "He knows because that's what I always do. How is he? Really? I saw him, Caine. I saw him."
"Nicole, let's go into my office for a minute," the doctor said, trying to move her.
"In a dream?" Caine asked as they walked to Sabourin's office.
"Yes..." she replied, allowing herself to be led into the office for a moment, but stubbornly refusing to sit.
Caine grew quiet at her answer.
Nicole's arms crossed in front of her. "Somebody better tell me something."
Dr. Sabourin took a deep breath as she sat, and folded her hands on her desk. "Nicole, I'm not going to lie to you. Your husband is not doing well."
"What? What do you mean, not doing well? No, he has to be all right."
"He coded while in surgery, and then again after they were done. I'm surprised that he survived."
Realization showed plainly on Nicole's pale features. "Oh my god...I was with him when he..."
"You were with him?" Caine said, coming out of his thoughts.
"Yes. In the dream. And he...faded out on me... that must have been when he..."
Dr. Sabourin listened quietly to the exchange a moment. "Someone might want to call Annie Blaisdell and her daughters," she suggested.
Nicole looked from the doctor to Caine and back. "But... he's out of surgery...He's gonna stabilize now... he made it through the surgery..." she reasoned frantically.
"He hemorrhaged very badly before and during the surgery... Just because he survived that doesn't mean that he'll make it. I don't want to lie to you."
Nicole leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes a moment. "But... but... you don't understand.. he's got two kids and..." she whispered, her voice trailing off.
"I'm just preparing you for the worst, Nicole."
"I need to see him."
"Caine will do everything he can as well, won't you?" Sabourin looked to the father of her patient with some hope in her eyes.
"I will." Caine looked down for a moment before reaching over to take Nicole's hand.
"I need to see him now," she repeated woodenly.
"I'll take you to him, Nicole."
* * * * * * * *
Peter lay in the bed in recovery, an ashen grey tone to his skin. There were more machines attached to him than Nicole had dared to imagine. The worst of which was the respirator, which breathed for him now, the sound eerie in the otherwise quiet room. Monitors flashed by his head, tracking his pulse, and bags of IV's trickled down into his veins.
Nicole sank into the chair by the bed and took one of Peter's limp, cool hands into her own.
"Peter, I'm back," she choked out, searching his face for some sign of consciousness, for some sign that he was still with them. The sound of the respirator breathing for him again was the only response she received.
Caine moved to take his son's other hand, closing his eyes and focusing on his son's inner spirit and strength.
"I guess I know how you felt when you were sitting by the bed waiting for me after the kids were born. I can't say I like this much. What're you doing Peter? Open your eyes, sweetheart... Please," she begged quietly. "Come on Peter, you
stay here with me. Because I need you. You didn't even let me finish when we were together at the river, I was trying to tell you that I need you. And the kids need you. Paul and Cait, they love you and they need you."
"He is still there. But mist obscures him from sight," Caine told her, his voice barely audible.
"So see, you gotta get your butt back over here because I'm not going to raise them alone. And the baby, Peter, the baby needs you. Peter, you promised me you would behave this time so I wouldn't have to go and get all stressed out,
this is not what I call behaving..." she chided gently, trying to keep her voice and energy level and calm. "Caine?" she looked over at the priest as he moved away a bit, opening his eyes.
Caine's words were halting and sad, "He has slipped further away. He is in a coma."
**************
Three days passed with no sign of change in Peter Caine's condition. Since slipping into a coma after surgery, he'd shown no signs of regaining consciousness. Nicole had sat vigil at his side almost round the clock since Caine's words had ripped into her heart. "Tell me what to do, Caine. Please," she whispered, her eyes seeking his as he entered the room.
"The only thing you can do is to be with him. Let him know you are near." Caine replied, approaching the bed, tenderly laying a hand on his son's forehead. The two of them had become fixtures in the hospital, leaving only when necessary. Nicole disappeared for a few hours a day to be with the children, who were staying with Peter's sister Carolyn. She slept a little now and then, mostly sitting in the chair beside Peter's bed. The doctors and nurses came and went, barely taking notice of her any longer as they checked his vital signs, and changed his IV bags.
"Nicole?" Skalany's voice interrupted as the detective poked her head in the door. "Hi."
"Hi, Mary Margaret," Nicole greeted her with an attempted smile. "Come on in."
"How are you doing?" Skalany moved up to the side of the bed, speaking to Nicole while her eyes never left the pale face of her former partner.
"Me? I'm a mess. He's the only one getting any rest around here. He just... lies there," she sighed in frustration.
The door opened once again and Nicole was beginning to feel as though she was sitting in the middle of Grand Central Station now. It was Dr. Sabourin.
"Well, here comes my new best friend.." Nicole grimaced. "No change," she told the physician.
The doctor nodded, making a few notes on Peter's chart. "I know. Nicole, we need to run a test. Could you step outside for a moment?"
Nicole nodded and stood stiffly, her muscles cramped from sitting for such a long period of time. "I can't take this waiting much longer. I'll be right outside."
"So, how's tricks at the 101st?" she asked Skalany once they were out in the hall. Caine had wandered down the corridor to the waiting room to rest for a few minutes.
"Oh, you know... same old..." the detective replied with false good humor as a technician wheeled a strange looking piece of bioelectric equipment passed them, and into Peter's room.
"What's that?" Nicole asked, her attention immediately and completely on the equipment, breaking away from Skalany and opening the door to Peter's room again. "Doc, what's that for?" she asked.
"It measures brain waves," Sabourin answered reluctantly.
Nicole froze, her heart rate quickening. "Brain waves? What's going on?"
"Peter has shown no signs of coming out of the coma. On the Glasgow coma scale he ranks in the lower percentage," the doctor tried to explain.
"I'm sure he always has! This is Peter we're talking about!"
"Nicole, it's a test to determine brain death," Sabourin said quietly, trying to lead Nicole back out of the room.
Nicole was not about to be moved from Peter's side. "WHAT? NO! I DO NOT accept this! He's in there! He is!"
The doctor could hear the hysteria in the woman's voice and tried to reason with her, "Nicole, we have to do it. If the machines are the only things keeping him alive..."
"They are not the only things keeping him alive, his spirit is keeping him alive," she insisted, standing her ground next to her husband.
"Nicole, you might have to make a decision," Sabourin told her, sadness in her voice.
"What are you suggesting? That I PULL THE PLUG on him?" she exploded.
This wasn't easy for the doctor. She considered this patient's father a dear friend after all these years, and she hated to see his family in pain. "Would you rather see him suffer like this? He may not even be there anymore."
"He IS there, don't you get it?? He's trying to find his way back, he just gets lost and you know how men are! They won't stop and ask directions!"
Caine entered the room, he'd felt the anxiety of his daughter-in-law from far down the hall. "Nicole, what are they doing?" he asked, pulling her to one side.
"They're... testing his brain waves... Caine I don't care what happens I will NOT give up," she insisted as she watched them perform their tests.
Caine nodded his head, understanding. He had been expecting this.
"You and I know he's still there," she continued.
Caine looked at her with untold sadness in his eyes. "The bridge is nearly formed."
"Then I'll blow up the damn bridge! He's not going anywhere!"
"Nicole..." Caine pulled her into his arms, trying to give and receive comfort at the same moment.
"I have to find him." She hugged the man who had become a father to her over the years.
"I know you will do what you feel is necessary," Caine replied cryptically.
"Are you done?" she asked the doctor, pulling out of Caine's embrace, her eyes dry and determined.
"Yes," Sabourin replied, turning to her.
"And?"
"Nicole, I'm sorry. You need to make a decision. I'll be back here tonight. You can let me know your decision then." She laid a hand on Nicole's arm as she left the room with the technician.
Nicole's face was a study in shock and disbelief. "This is a nightmare... If I have to handcuff myself to the electrical cord no one is pulling the plug on him."
"I'm sorry, Nicole." Mary Margaret came back into the room, taking her hand, tears in her eyes.
"I have to... to go be with him..." Nicole choked out passed the lump in her throat. She moved away from her friend to take her place at Peter's side, sitting in the chair by the bed. She closed her eyes, wiping angrily at the tears that spilled down her face.
"Nicole, you must go to him..." Caine instructed her gently, laying a hand on her shoulder before leading Mary Margaret from the room. He knew his son had only one hope left in this world.
Nicole heard them leave, though her eyes never left the face of the man she loved. She lay her head down on the bed, listening to the sound of the respirator breathing for him, and closed her eyes, seeking sleep.
The dream came once more. The fog she made her way through was thicker this time, and the path she walked was obstructed, causing her to double back and find another way more than one time. "Peter?" she called out through the mist.
When the mist finally cleared and she found herself back on the riverbank, her heart nearly stopped at the sight that met her eyes. The bridge now extended all the way to the other side of the river, and Peter stood on the bridge. He'd taken only his first tentative steps onto it, but his feet were no longer on the bank.
"PETER CAINE DON"T YOU DARE!" the words shot out of her mouth before she'd even stopped to consider them.
Peter jumped at the sound of her voice, startled and nearly lost his footing. "Nicole? Nicole you shouldn't be here!" he called back desperately.
"Don't you take another step!" she yelled, running now towards the bridge.
"Nick, stop!" He held up his hand frantically, afraid of what would happen to her if she got onto the bridge with him. "I'm sorry, I have no choice."
"Yes, you do, damnit! Turn around and come back over here..." she extended her hand, holding tightly to the rail of the bridge.
Peter stopped for a moment... and turned back to her, taking her extended hand, this time making contact, his hand no longer passing through her. He pulled her gently into his arms and kissed her softly. But even Nicole could tell it was a good-bye kiss. She clung tightly to him even as they broke the kiss.
"Nicole, let me go," he whispered in her ear, his voice filled with the emotional and physical pain which was coming through him.
"Not a chance," she replied stubbornly, not relinquishing her hold on him.
"You have to."
"Oh, what is that? An order?" she pulled back to look him in the eyes, "You dragged me out of my shell, you made me care, you made me love you and accept life, now you can't just go and leave me here with two children, and a third on the way. I won't make it."
Peter kissed the tip of her nose. "Yes you will, you're strong."
"Do you want them growing up without you, like you grew up? You ARE my strength. You are my HEART and my SOUL and my LIFE," she insisted.
Peter fell silent, Nicole's words of abandonment reaching him... he knew what it was like to lose a parent so young...
"We won't make it if you walk away from me now..."
"I don't know... " a confused look crossed his features as he listened to something Nicole couldn't hear. "They're calling me..." He turned to look back across the bridge.
Nicole put a hand to the side of his face and turned him back to her. "We're calling you on this side, Peter. We need you here, now. You have an eternity to be over there. I can call louder than God himself, Peter, and you know that... Don't do it Peter. Don't you do it or I will follow you."
"No, you don't belong there," he told her firmly.
"Neither do YOU."
"Nick, we'll meet again," he assured her sadly.
"No... no we won't Peter... don't you get it? If you walk away from me now, I will NEVER see you again... " she laughed bitterly. "Because I'm pretty sure that wherever it is you're headed, I'm not going. I'm pretty certain that it's going to be a whole lot warmer where I'm headed. If you walk away from me now, that's the end... Do you remember what it was like when your mother died?"
Peter nodded, his attention diverted from the voices he heard on the other side. "I was too young, but I remember I missed her a lot..."
"Or when you lost your father? Do you want two children to have to go through that? Wondering why you left them? Why you walked away from them."
"They have you."
"Not if I follow you. If you go... it'll kill me. I can't live without you. I won't make it through this pregnancy without you."
"Nicole..." Peter pulled her into his arms again.
"I love you so much, Peter. Come home. Don't abandon us now. Peter don't leave them like my parents left me...the way your mother left you." She watched as Peter's face grew expressionless, the voices beyond fading. "We've both been orphans. They deserve two parents."
Fear now crossed his features. "Nicole, I can't find my way back," he whispered, his eyes looking into the solid wall of mist that separated him from the living world she'd come from to find him.
"Then follow me, you just keep hold of my hand and trust me," she urged, grasping his hand. "I won't lose you. Come home."
Peter squeezed her hand. He could no longer hear the voices from the other side of the river. He turned to look at the bridge... it was fading from sight.
"You don't belong over there, Peter. You belong with us. Come back, you can do it. I promise."
"You're right," he said softly, turning away from the river, his feet back on the bank, headed towards the wall of mist.
Nicole kept hold of Peter's hand, moving towards the mist, pulling him with her, a smile on her face. "I'm always right and you know it."
Peter felt his spirit lifting as he muttered, "Pushy broad."
"That's pushy wench," she corrected him.
"Yeah, that too," Peter laughed, following her with complete trust into the dense fog.
"Let's get out of here," she winked at him as they disappeared into the mist, which began to lift.
* * * * * * *
Nicole's eyes opened and she found herself still in the hospital, still clutching Peter's hand. Though the monitors still showed the same readings, and the respirator still breathed for him, she could feel the difference. She could feel it immediately. She sprang up out of her chair and kissed his cheek quickly before bolting from the room, running down the hall, headed for Doctor
Sabourin's office. She skidded around the corner into the office, breathless. "Get your damn machine, and do that test again," she panted.
Dr. Sabourin looked up from her files. "Nicole..."
"DO IT AGAIN, NOW!" she demanded.
Doctor Sabourin sighed in resignation, "All right, all right, I'll do the test again when the tech is free." She knew the results would be the same, but since this was Caine's family, she was willing to make the concession.
"Go get the machine, and do it NOW!"
"Nicole, I'll page the tech, but we'll have to wait until he can get here."
"Then I will go find him."
"There are other patients here too," the doctor said gently.
"I'm not married to any of the other patients, and thus far you haven't asked me to pull the PLUG on any of the other patients," Nicole explained with as much patience as she could muster.
Dr. Sabourin made a quick page to the tech. "That's the best I can do, for now."
"Thank you. But if he's not here in five minutes I'm gonna get the machine myself," she promised, turning and heading quickly back for Peter's room.
"I know you will," the doctor muttered once her patient's wife was out of earshot.
Caine was in Peter's room when Nicole returned, his body posture speaking of a great weight having been lifted off as he ran his hands a few inches above Peter's head.
Nicole smiled broadly. "He's coming back," she told him without reservation, sitting down in the chair beside the bed and taking Peter's hand again, kissing the palm.
Within five minutes, Dr. Sabourin reappeared with the technician, and his machine. This time Nicole moved willingly out of the way, allowing them to do their work.
The technician set up and began monitoring... his expression changing from one of indulgent patience, to confusion.
"Well?" Nicole prompted.
Dr. Sabourin listened to the words the tech was speaking to her softly and turned to Nicole and Caine. "I don't understand this..." Sabourin shook her head, looking disbelievingly at the machine.
Caine began to smile, taking Nicole's hand, listening with little apprehension.
"There are brainwaves present... that weren't registering before," Sabourin explained, looking completely dumbfounded.
"But they're there NOW," Nicole insisted excitedly.
The doctor smiled and looked at Caine and his daughter-in-law. "Yes, they are... He's still in the coma but he may be coming out it."
Nicole shook her head. "He IS coming out of it."
"We'll keep a close eye on him, monitor his vital signs and do the test again tonight," Dr. Sabourin offered, afraid to hold out too much hope to the family.
Nicole laughed anyway, returning to the side of the bed and standing protectively over her husband. "Much as I'd love to pull the plug on the man somedays...it won't be today."
End