Obi-Wan found himself unable to sleep. It was the wee hours of the morning in Theed, too close to when Sabé and Meira were scheduled to get up to actually try to doze off again. He dug through his satchel and found some comfortable running attire. He would go out, stretch his legs a bit and pick up something from a bakery for their breakfast.
The city was lovely in the transition from black night to bright dawn. Obi-Wan enjoyed the way the colors changed with the light, and how the sun warmed the air.
When he felt his muscles and joints loosen up, he slowed down, knowing that would be enough for now. He expected Sabé to give him a challenge on the training course, so there was no use to overdo it this early.
Taking some time to rest at the café where he purchased the scones for Sabé and Meira, Obi-Wan sipped his beverage and enjoyed the picturesque view of the river.
"Obi-Wan? Is that really you?" A stunning blond Jedi woman gazed curiously at him.
He looked up with a start. Rising, he greeted her. "Siri! What a surprise! What are you doing here?"
She smiled warmly. "On my way back from a mission. I got dropped off earlier today and I have to catch a different transport tommorrow to get back to Coruscant. What about you?" She looked around. "I'd have thought this would be the last place you'd want to be vacationing."
Obi-Wan motioned for her to join him at the table. "Normally, you'd be right. Master Yoda, in his infinite wisdom, told me to take leave here."
Siri's eyes widened. "Really? Well, there must be a reason." She studied him a moment. "Yes, there are some changes." Her smile grew broader. "The goatee does sort of work, and the longer hair is flattering, I'll admit. But that's not all that's different." She closed her eyes a moment, and Obi-Wan sensed her reaching toward him with the Force. "You're closer to peace than I've ever seen before. Good work, Obi-Wan."
"Closer to peace? So, I'm not there yet, am I?" he asked as they sat.
"Not quite. Not that I blame you, after what you've been through."
"You wouldn't blame me? That'd be a first," Obi-Wan noted, amusement in his voice.
Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. "Ah yes-that old friction. It never goes away, does it? But then again, that's what always made it so good. Let's see, the last time was a few weeks before the Trade Fed incident." She winked. "I have private quarters for the night. When would you like to meet me there?"
Obi-Wan sighed, then looked away. He had almost forgotten about the pattern that he and Siri had established when they were still teenagers. Now that he thought about it, he was acutely aware of his present feelings. There was no longer any desire whatsoever for Siri. The respect and the bond of cooperation that all Jedi shared had remained, but he felt nothing more than that. He was relieved. At last, he no longer doubted his true feelings; Sabé was the woman he loved.
"No, Siri. I've changed there too. It can't be like it was, running into each other, spending a volatile night or two together, and all the while Qui-Gon muttering about us getting the nonsense out of our systems. Please understand. I can't go back."
She nodded. "I've known this day would come. In a way, I'm glad it has. We had the understanding that there were no strings. Live in the moment and all that. It worked when it did because we both wanted to be Jedi first, and didn't have time for a serious relationship. Suited me--I didn't want one, and still don't. You were always different. If it's time for you to move on, that means you've found someone."
Obi-Wan was stunned that she could see through him that easily, even considering the 14 years they had known each other. "How do you mean I'm different? Being a Jedi has always been important to me."
She waved her hand impatiently. " Of course being a Jedi is important to you, and you've done a fine job. But you've always wanted to be loved too, whether or not you've dared to admit it. Face it, Obi-Wan. The reason you agreed to take on Anakin as your padwan learner was so that Qui-Gon would die loving you." Her tone softened. "He would have anyway. I know that."
Obi-Wan looked down and realized that what she said was true.
She continued to speak to him gently while looking at him sideways. "A Naboo girl?"
He nodded. "We met on the mission that took Master Qui-Gon's life."
"Not Queen Amidala?" she asked, obviously aghast.
He almost laughed out loud. "No, not her at all. She's a good friend--to the both of us."
A moment of silence passed as Obi-Wan gathered his thoughts. Siri waited patiently for him to begin.
"I do care deeply for this woman. There's only one point that still troubles me. The last time I felt this strongly, you know what happened."
"You were still a child then; so was the girl. That world was embroiled in civil war. Your circumstances are very different this time. I realize now that I was ignorant at the time and I was hard on you, but I came to understand what you felt for Cerasi ,and how much pain you went through when you lost her. From what you've said, I don't think she would have wanted you to pass up a chance to find someone special."
"I know-and I was almost ready to try again. All I had to do was finish the mission and ask Master Qui-Gon to prepare me for the trials. When I passed, I'd have had the privileges of a full Knight and that includes being able to choose relationships, marriage and family, if we want. But then..."
Siri nodded. "Then you lost him. I know how I would feel if I didn't have Master Adi, even now. I can always go to her with questions or concerns. That, on top of having one of the most naturally talented Padawan Learners ever discovered, is a burden. But trust yourself and the Force. You wouldn't have this burden if you were not worthy to bear it. Since being with her feels right, perhaps that's the sign that this woman is meant to assist you with your lot in life."
They remained silent for a moment as they thought over the situation. Siri was the first to speak. "She knows you're a Jedi, obviously. I assume her feelings for you are clear. Does she accept the circumstances that come with a commitment to one of us? Does she fully realize what that means? There will be many nights you won't be together, and the fact that she'll have to take second place much of the time."
"She does," Obi-Wan confirmed. "And if anyone could accept it, she's the one. She's a creature of duty herself."
"If that's so, you have a better than average chance to make it work. Sounds like she's a rare catch. Let the passion and emotion you feel for her continue to lead you to peace and serenity. You are already well on the way."
Obi-Wan nodded.
Reaching over and patting Obi-Wan's hand. "I don't really need to tell you any more. Besides, perhaps you should be getting back to the girl."
"Thanks for everything, Siri. I mean that sincerely." He lowered his voice. "Please do me a favor and keep this conversation confidential."
"Naturally." She rose, leaned over and gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. "The Force is with you, Obi-Wan. Remember that, and you'll be fine."
As soon as she was out of sight, Obi-Wan opened a his personal path to the Force seeking guidance. In a moment, he was struck with the overwhelming urge to return to Sabé's side and express just where his passion and emotion was leading him. But first, some preparation would be in order.
The city was lovely in the transition from black night to bright dawn. Obi-Wan enjoyed the way the colors changed with the light, and how the sun warmed the air.
When he felt his muscles and joints loosen up, he slowed down, knowing that would be enough for now. He expected Sabé to give him a challenge on the training course, so there was no use to overdo it this early.
Taking some time to rest at the café where he purchased the scones for Sabé and Meira, Obi-Wan sipped his beverage and enjoyed the picturesque view of the river.
"Obi-Wan? Is that really you?" A stunning blond Jedi woman gazed curiously at him.
He looked up with a start. Rising, he greeted her. "Siri! What a surprise! What are you doing here?"
She smiled warmly. "On my way back from a mission. I got dropped off earlier today and I have to catch a different transport tommorrow to get back to Coruscant. What about you?" She looked around. "I'd have thought this would be the last place you'd want to be vacationing."
Obi-Wan motioned for her to join him at the table. "Normally, you'd be right. Master Yoda, in his infinite wisdom, told me to take leave here."
Siri's eyes widened. "Really? Well, there must be a reason." She studied him a moment. "Yes, there are some changes." Her smile grew broader. "The goatee does sort of work, and the longer hair is flattering, I'll admit. But that's not all that's different." She closed her eyes a moment, and Obi-Wan sensed her reaching toward him with the Force. "You're closer to peace than I've ever seen before. Good work, Obi-Wan."
"Closer to peace? So, I'm not there yet, am I?" he asked as they sat.
"Not quite. Not that I blame you, after what you've been through."
"You wouldn't blame me? That'd be a first," Obi-Wan noted, amusement in his voice.
Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. "Ah yes-that old friction. It never goes away, does it? But then again, that's what always made it so good. Let's see, the last time was a few weeks before the Trade Fed incident." She winked. "I have private quarters for the night. When would you like to meet me there?"
Obi-Wan sighed, then looked away. He had almost forgotten about the pattern that he and Siri had established when they were still teenagers. Now that he thought about it, he was acutely aware of his present feelings. There was no longer any desire whatsoever for Siri. The respect and the bond of cooperation that all Jedi shared had remained, but he felt nothing more than that. He was relieved. At last, he no longer doubted his true feelings; Sabé was the woman he loved.
"No, Siri. I've changed there too. It can't be like it was, running into each other, spending a volatile night or two together, and all the while Qui-Gon muttering about us getting the nonsense out of our systems. Please understand. I can't go back."
She nodded. "I've known this day would come. In a way, I'm glad it has. We had the understanding that there were no strings. Live in the moment and all that. It worked when it did because we both wanted to be Jedi first, and didn't have time for a serious relationship. Suited me--I didn't want one, and still don't. You were always different. If it's time for you to move on, that means you've found someone."
Obi-Wan was stunned that she could see through him that easily, even considering the 14 years they had known each other. "How do you mean I'm different? Being a Jedi has always been important to me."
She waved her hand impatiently. " Of course being a Jedi is important to you, and you've done a fine job. But you've always wanted to be loved too, whether or not you've dared to admit it. Face it, Obi-Wan. The reason you agreed to take on Anakin as your padwan learner was so that Qui-Gon would die loving you." Her tone softened. "He would have anyway. I know that."
Obi-Wan looked down and realized that what she said was true.
She continued to speak to him gently while looking at him sideways. "A Naboo girl?"
He nodded. "We met on the mission that took Master Qui-Gon's life."
"Not Queen Amidala?" she asked, obviously aghast.
He almost laughed out loud. "No, not her at all. She's a good friend--to the both of us."
A moment of silence passed as Obi-Wan gathered his thoughts. Siri waited patiently for him to begin.
"I do care deeply for this woman. There's only one point that still troubles me. The last time I felt this strongly, you know what happened."
"You were still a child then; so was the girl. That world was embroiled in civil war. Your circumstances are very different this time. I realize now that I was ignorant at the time and I was hard on you, but I came to understand what you felt for Cerasi ,and how much pain you went through when you lost her. From what you've said, I don't think she would have wanted you to pass up a chance to find someone special."
"I know-and I was almost ready to try again. All I had to do was finish the mission and ask Master Qui-Gon to prepare me for the trials. When I passed, I'd have had the privileges of a full Knight and that includes being able to choose relationships, marriage and family, if we want. But then..."
Siri nodded. "Then you lost him. I know how I would feel if I didn't have Master Adi, even now. I can always go to her with questions or concerns. That, on top of having one of the most naturally talented Padawan Learners ever discovered, is a burden. But trust yourself and the Force. You wouldn't have this burden if you were not worthy to bear it. Since being with her feels right, perhaps that's the sign that this woman is meant to assist you with your lot in life."
They remained silent for a moment as they thought over the situation. Siri was the first to speak. "She knows you're a Jedi, obviously. I assume her feelings for you are clear. Does she accept the circumstances that come with a commitment to one of us? Does she fully realize what that means? There will be many nights you won't be together, and the fact that she'll have to take second place much of the time."
"She does," Obi-Wan confirmed. "And if anyone could accept it, she's the one. She's a creature of duty herself."
"If that's so, you have a better than average chance to make it work. Sounds like she's a rare catch. Let the passion and emotion you feel for her continue to lead you to peace and serenity. You are already well on the way."
Obi-Wan nodded.
Reaching over and patting Obi-Wan's hand. "I don't really need to tell you any more. Besides, perhaps you should be getting back to the girl."
"Thanks for everything, Siri. I mean that sincerely." He lowered his voice. "Please do me a favor and keep this conversation confidential."
"Naturally." She rose, leaned over and gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. "The Force is with you, Obi-Wan. Remember that, and you'll be fine."
As soon as she was out of sight, Obi-Wan opened a his personal path to the Force seeking guidance. In a moment, he was struck with the overwhelming urge to return to Sabé's side and express just where his passion and emotion was leading him. But first, some preparation would be in order.