"Is that...?" Tara's voice trailed off in wonder.
"The Emerald City." Skip confirmed.
"Oh." Tara breathed softly. "I guess th... that's where we need to go." She took a tentative step forward and noticed the weight of her dress. It was no longer the cotton skirt and peasant blouse she had been wearing. It was a long, silvery iridescent gown covered with glittering stars and moons. She held a fanciful magic wand in her hand. "A... am I...?" She felt her head to investigate the weight settled there. It was a huge crown and her hair was curled.
"You would appear to be the good witch of the North."
Tara smiled impishly. "And you, you're…" She pointed at the object in his hand.
Skip glanced down at the long-handled axe in his hand. "Oh great." He looked up into the endless sky. "Is this some kind of a joke?" He yelled. He received no answer. He dropped his hands to his sides with a clang, then gestured across the poppy field. "After you, good lady."
*****
"Willow, let go!" Anya shook the witch's hand off in irritation, just to find it replaced by Ethan's. She looked at him with disgust. "You are a creepy man and I'd like for you to go away." She turned to Willow. "Now what are we gong to do?"
"Why are you asking me? You're the bossy one."
"I am not bossy! I simply voice my opinions. My current point of view is that you are a witch and he is a warlock. Do something..." She glared at Ethan and yanked her hand away from him. "And stop touching me."
Ethan was a quivering mess. "I... I can't." he blubbered. "It's so far down." His eyes were glassy and his breathing shallow.
"I think he's afraid of heights."
"No kidding Willow!"
"There's no need to snap my head off!"
"Look, once again we are in trouble, and you're too much of a weenie to get us out."
"What do you think I could do anyway?" Willow was becoming completely exasperated. "Teleportation is way beyond me, even if I knew where to send us to. And I don't have any powders or herbs."
"You did that floaty thing with Glory."
"Floaty thing?"
"Yeah! And I've seen you levitate things."
"What, you want me to levitate us off this... this... What is this thing anyway?"
Anya wrinkled her forehead. "I'm not sure." She turned to the quivering man. "Ethan, what is this thing?"
"The heights of hell," he moaned.
*****
"Papacy, papacy..." Xander muttered word under his breath.
"Two more seconds Mr. Harris."
"Um..." Xander searched his mind frantically for something, anything. "Catholic! All the popes have been Catholic and will continue to be..."
"Buzz! A deafening sound filled the staged and Dawn screamed as her cage dropped five feet.
"Bugger it Harris, you bleedin' idiot!"
The crowd cheered wildly.
"Question number two: Compare and contrast the structure of the Sumerian Ziggurat to the Egyptian Pyramid."
"Huh?"
Laughter filled the room.
"A ziggurat is a big, um, thing. And it was in, what was the name of that place again? It wasn't in Egypt, but the Pyramids are."
"Buzz!" There was more cheering from the crowd, louder this time.
Dawn screamed again. "Xander, think!"
He looked over to the cages. They were barely clearing the water now. Dawn was crouched in one corner of her cage while Spike was scanning the bars, looking for a possible means of escape. One more wrong answer and Dawn and the vampire would be in the shark tank.
"Question number three: Name Freud's three components of personality and describe the purpose they serve."
"Oh boy."
*****
Tara and Skip continued walking through the poppy field, with the demon occasionally offering a metal-covered arm to assist her over uneven parts of the landscape.
"You're very g… gallant, for a demon." She smiled at him shyly.
"And you're very intuitive for a human. How did you get hooked up with that crazy group?"
"Just lucky, I guess."
Suddenly, the land was cast with dark shadows, and an odd screeching sound came from above. Tara looked up in frightened dismay and moved closer to Skip. "Th… they look like monkeys. And they're w… wearing pants."
The winged monkeys approached in an ever-narrowing circle, finally forming a ring around the two. A nasty cackle was heard in the distance.
"I knew their mistress wouldn't be far behind." Skip commented.
The witch swooped in and landed in front of them. She lifted her head and Tara saw what had been hidden behind the brim of her pointed black hat.
"Willow?"
"I've found you." She said, "Now give me what I want."
*****
"You are really the most abominable man!" Anya leaned over Ethan. "Stop making those whimpering noises now or she," she pointed to Willow, "will turn you into a little tadpole and I'll squish you with my three and a half inch heel."
"If you do that," he panted, "you'll never see your precious Rupert again."
"He's right, Anya." Willow reasoned with her. "Try to be patient."
"He's irrational."
"Don't you remember how you felt at Buffy's birthday party, when we were all stuck in the house?"
"With that horrible demon that cut Xander and the cute guy we brought for Buffy, and she didn't appreciate him even one little bit?"
"Yes. Remember, you were all panicky."
"And Xander calmed me down! Willow, I think I know what to do, and you don't even have to use your magic. Sit by him and hold his hand."
"OK. Are you going to hold his other hand?"
"Ew! I'm not touching him."
*****
Buffy studied Faith as the dark-haired Slayer retreated a few steps and raised her arms in battle-stance.
"Bring it on, B. You know the drill."
Buffy began to advance. Then, she realized...
"No." Buffy straightened, dropping her arms.
"Whattya mean, 'No'," said Faith. "Come on. This is what we do. I punch you. You beat the hell out of me. Good triumphs over evil, yadda yadda yadda, and there is much rejoicing."
"And what did that get either of us? You're in a jail cell and I'm in Hell."
Faith lowered her hands and gave Buffy a perplexed look.
"We don't do this anymore," said Buffy. "There's too much at stake to waste our time on it. So why don't you just go back where you came from."
Faith vanished. The cavern seemed empty. Then behind her Buffy heard the sound of two hands clapping.
She whirled toward the sound. Standing there, applauding was a small pasty-faced man in a garish suit and a fedora.
"Very nice, kid," he said. "I think you're catching on."
"I know you," said Buffy. "I met you at Giles' house. You're a demon."
"A balancing demon," said Whistler. "I figured you'd need my help, but looks like you've got this thing under control."
Buffy grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket. "Where are my friends?! Where's Giles?!"
"Or not. Watch the material, huh?" Buffy released her grip.
"Thanks," he said. "Your friends are fine. They have their own stuff to get through. You'll find your Watcher soon enough. But this kind of thing is easier to get into than out of. Just remember what you just told your little Slayer pal."
"What was that?"
"There's more important things at stake than just who wins the fight."
"You mean I shouldn't fight anymore? I'm a Slayer. I have to fight. Faith was right about that."
Whistler nodded. "A Slayer always has to fight. The trick comes in knowing who to fight and when. See ya around." He tipped his hat and vanished.
*****
"Do you have an answer Mr. Harris?"
"No."
The chains holding the cages creaked and he could hear Dawn crying. Spike was spitting out a stream of obscene language that Dawn probably didn't need to hear.
"I can't do this! I never went to college. I don't know any college stuff."
The chains stopped moving. "Your answer is correct."
The cages lifted a foot.
"I'm an idiot."
The cages lifted again.
"And a loser."
Creak"I'll never amount to a hill of beans and will probably end up being exactly like my father."
Creak, creak"Anya deserves better than me."
Creak"And I'm an opinionated bigot."
"The game is over Mr. Harris. You've won."
Loud booing followed the pronouncement. The cages burst open and Spike jumped out onto a nearby platform, then reached a hand out for Dawn.
Xander stood in the same place, unsure of what to do next.
"Hey, you stupid git," Spike called down to him. "If you don't want to get trampled by the angry mob, you might want to try hurryin' your bloody arse over here!"
Xander turned. There were at least a hundred furious demons bearing down on him.
*****
"What do you want, Willow?"
"What only you can give me."
Tara turned blankly to Skip. "Shoes? Does she want the red shoes?"
Skip shrugged.
"He doesn't have one." Willow sounded scornful.
"I beg your pardon?" Skip somehow managed to look offended despite the fact that his face was covered with plates of armor. "I am a fully equipped…"
"Tin woodsman!" Tara exclaimed.
"No, I'm a…"
"You're the woodsman, and that means that you don't have a… a heart." She turned to Willow. "You want a heart."
"Not 'a heart', my pretty. I want your heart."
"But Willow." Tara glanced frantically around, trying to understand. Suddenly, she did. "Willow. You already have my heart."
The poppies, monkeys, Emerald City, and Willow all faded away.
*****
Willow and Anya sat on either side of the terrified warlock. Willow grasped his hand firmly.
"It's OK" Anya told him. "This rock is steady. Look up and imagine you're sitting on a prairie."
"They don't have prairies in England Anya." Willow whispered.
"Excuse me! Willow, just be picky, why don't you? Just sit and... touch him. I know what I'm doing." Anya forced her voice to be pleasant. "OK Ethan, make it a pasture. You're sitting in a pretty green pasture and there is solid earth below you and an endless sky above."
Ethan closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. "Pasture… sky…" he chanted to himself.
"That's right, a pasture and a sky."
Willow frowned. "Do you even know what you're doing?"
"Shh!" Anya scolded her. "Ethan, can you see it, the sky?"
"Yes."
"And can you feel the solid ground?"
"Yes."
"Can you make it so?"
"Yes!" Ethan's hand tightened on Willow's, and she felt energy flow into him.
Suddenly the three of them were sitting in a lovely green pasture, with nothing above them, but a vivid blue sky.