They dined that evening at Independence's most fashionable restaurant. Okay, maybe not that fashionable, but they did have food and all things considered they were as happy as could be.

Three gunshots were fired in the Killjoy Saloon. A man sauntered in with a pistol in one hand and cheap whiskey on his breath. He was the stereotypical western outlaw-- ya know, wide brimmed hat, chaps, a gun holster. Everyone hid under the tables.

Except for Sirius.

Of course, he was too busy enjoying his sirloin steak to notice that some John Wayne movie extra who'd had a few drinks to many had entered. It was so well prepared, perfectly cooked, not too rare, not well done. Sirius had never tasted anything quite like it and he wasn't about to let his good fortune be ruined by some pantywaist, Lone Ranger wannabe.

The drunken cowboy noticed one patron of the saloon. The boy had steak and it looked good. He walked over to Sirius, stared at the steak, and then at Sirius, grinning, revealing several yellow, chipped teeth.

"Boy, this here steak ain't big enough fer the two of us."

"Well, the two of us won't be eating it. Bugger off."

The drunken cowboy was speechless. The boy talked funny. And he wore a gray sweater vest and black robes, with a little lion on it.

"You talk funny. Where you from where ya talk and dress so funny?"

Sirius was taken a back. Whenever he had a nice dinner it always interrupted by drunken people harassing him. He was going to have a bit of fun with this man though.

"I am Sirius Orion Black, I come from Sclopenduberhogan . I am the leader of the Society of Pink Ponies and Yellow Smiling Marmosets Who Prance Through the Fields of Joyous Tulips. I've come here with my followers, who I shall lead westward to the magical land of Idaho, where we shall set up our commune, which shall be called Fort Buttercup. There, we shall prance around in fields of joyous tulips with pink ponies and yellow smiling marmosets. PRAISE BE TO DIMLOEP-SUUM, THE GOD OF POTATOES, WHO WILL LEAD US TO OUR HOME AT LAST! WE SHALL FOLLOW THE SIGN HE HAS GIVEN US—THE GLOWING PILAR OF HONEY BARBEQUE CHICKEN WINGS!"

Our inebriate outlaw was very disturbed by this and suddenly felt uncomfortable around the boy. He only wanted to high tail it out of there. "Al-alright, I jus be movin on then."

"May Dimloep-Suum smile down on you in good favor and give you reign over the fruit bats and happy laughing gerbils. Go in peace Junke Trunn, meaning, " how now brown cow" in our ancient language of Frenty-Putter." Sirius stood up and bowed deeply, screwing up his face. The man ran screaming from the Killjoy Saloon. The smashed menace was no more.

Everyone came out from under the tables. The citizens of Independence were frightened and confused. The Gryffindors on the other hand were laughing hysterically. Lily, James and Remus came over to him.

"I can't believe you actually did that." said Lily

"That was the creative thing I've ever seen Siri." remarked Remus

"That's my boy, taught him everything he knows." said James grabbing Sirius's shoulder.

Dinner went on as usual. Sirius enjoyed the rest of his steak. There was just one more problem. Where the hell were they going to sleep?

"Hey guys, where the hell are we going to sleep?" asked James.

"That's a good question." Remus said.

"There's a hotel across the road." Lily told them.

The Gryffindors journeyed over to said hotel. There were no vacancies. Apparently Dimloep-Suum was not smiling down favorably on them. They would have to camp out. There was a nice field outside of town. Lily conjured up sleeping bags for them.

"Sure," Sirius grumbled as they got into their sleeping bags, " You can conjure up sleeping bags but can't get us out of here."

"Shut up Sirius." Lily snapped.

"Hey, lets put aside our petty differences. Let's try to keep our tones lighthearted." whispered Remus.

"How about a Sing-A-Long?" suggested Sirius?

"That's not what I…"

"HEY EVERYBODY WERE GOING TO HAVE SING-A-LONGS WITH SIRIUS!" shouted James.

"Thanks Jamsie." said Sirius.

"Don't mention it."

"What song first?"

"Margaritaville!" proclaimed Sirius

They all sat in a circle around a bonfire. Those who didn't know the words hummed the tune for the rest.

Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--
They're beginnin' to boil.
"Mmm...Shrimp…"said Remus, his mouth starting to water.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tatoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.

"I want a tatoo." said Sirius, margarita dripping down his chin.

"Of what?" asked James.

"A big black dog, like my name."

"Cool!" said Remus.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.
They all started swaying to the beat and they raised their glasses.
I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
And I know it's my own damn fault.

"Hey, maybe it is my own damn fault." said Sirius. "Nawww…couldn't be."