Remus groaned and rolled over. He regretted it. His head ached as though a cartoon had dropped an anvil on his head. Spying the empty margarita glasses strewn about the field Remus strung the two together.

"Ohhhh…yeah."

The otherss were beginning to stir, with, of course, one exception…Sirius.

It wasn't the fact that he wasn't awake yet that caused concern. Sirius was famous in the Tower for being a deep sleeper and always sleeping in late. But, he wasn't moving much at all. Lily, Remus, and James gathered around the comatose teen.

James prodded Sirius' still form with a stick, thoroughly upset. "Is he alive?"

Lily found a pulse in Sirius's right arm. "Yeah, he is. How much did he have to drink last night?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at James. They both knew he had had more than he should have. But they weren't about to admit it to Lily. She was liable to take Sirius's head off, that is, if he ever awoke.

"Just one or two margarita's Lily. That's it. He's not a drunkard after all."

"Well, he will be. He could give Grantaire a run for his money in a drinking competition."

"Who?" asked James.

"He's this dirty drunken revolutionary in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo." Remus explained.

James still looked confused. "Isn't that the musical where the miserable poor people have a revolution?"

Lily smacked her forehead. "That's why it's called Les Miserables, meaning The Miserable in French James. And yes it takes place in France."

"They have a drunken revolutionary? With a gun?"

"You kind of need a gun to fight other people with guns James."

"Do we have a gun?"

"WHAT?"

Remus's light bulb went off. "We can dress him up like Grantaire then."

"It's the wrong time period Remus, and we'd probably need more people."

"We could all dress up too. We could even build a barricade, out of empty chairs and empty tables."

Lily rolled her eyes. James, not understanding, started to grin. "No Remus, I have a better idea…"



Sirius woke up mid afternoon that day. Unseen by anyone a little cartoon Sirius dropped a big cartoon anvil labeled "Tequila" and dropped it on his real life counterpart's head.

He let out a groan, managed to get off the ground. His classmates had abandoned the field Sirius affectionately called "The camp of Dimeloep- Suum ". He headed into town hoping to find them.

Women screamed and shielded their children's eyes and hurried away. Men whistled as he passed. Sirius didn't quite understand why they were acting more peculiar than usual. His long black hair flew out behind him as he walked along.

"Harlot! Harlot!"

Sirius whipped around. Several official looking men were heading across the town square toward him and they looked pissed off! He ran off in the opposite direction, along alleyways, across roads, and past storefront windows. While rushing past Dunlap's Clothing Emporium he caught a glimpse of himself.

"OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY CLOTHES!"

Sirius's shirt had been replaced with a red tank top. His pants had been transfigured into a black leather mini skirt and fish net tights. Lipstick, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara and blush had been applied. Sirius's leather boots were now spiked heeled, leopard print, knee-high boots. With his long hair hanging down he, Sirius Orion Black, heir of the Noble and most Ancient House of Black, greatly resembled a woman…

And a damn ugly woman too.

Sirius heard a chortling behind him. He whipped around, his giant, silver, hoop earrings flashing in the sun. His friends were rubbing their sides and wiping away tears of laughter. Apparently they found his predicament amusing. Well, he didn't and that's what mattered. He stormed over to them and his mood softened. Sirius could tell that his dress was just temporary relief from their predicament. Maybe it was the sight of his friends having such a good time, maybe it was the leather miniskirt but Sirius felt comfortable and decided to play along.

Sirius adopted a "sexy, biker chick" demeanor. Sauntering over to Remus Sirius licked his lips suggestively and began to chew an imaginary piece of gum. Needless to say Remus was a bit bothered and slightly bewildered by his friends' behavior, but when Sirius raised an eyebrow, Remus took it as an invitation to join the charade.

"Hey Remus, my little piece of ass." Sirius said, his voice silky.

Remus knew exactly how to act. Just act like Sirius on a normal day.

"Hey baby." He grabbed Sirius around his waist and pretended to grab his friends ass. It was so realistic that a cry of "Ewww!" was in order.

"Ewww!"

Remus leapt into Sirius' arms and covered their faces, making noises that suggested that a short "make-out" session. Another cry of "Ewww!" was uttered by the on looking crowd. Sirius set Remus down. He tossed his head in the direction of a wagon that had six oxen that were to pull it.

"C'mon my little sweet ass, let's ride."

Remus got on top of a poor, unsuspecting ox. He helped Sirius, then he literally grabbed the bull by the horns and made motorcycle noises.

"Awww."

Lily approached the befuddled bovine.

"I hope this taught you to never drink again until you're legal Sirius."

Sirius crossed his fingers behind his back. "I won't."

"Swear to me that you won't and I'll get your clothes back. You promise to behave?"

Raising his right hand over his heart and holding his left arm up. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Sirius said with a smile.

" 'I solemnly sweat that I am up to no good'. Has a nice ring to it." James said. He lifted his hand to his mouth as though he was holding something. "Note to self: Remember Sirius's catchy little motto thing for later use on Professor McGonagall."

"James, who are you talking to?" asked Lily, genuinely concerned. Perhaps the hot weather was getting to him.

Sirius hopped off the ox and Remus followed suit. "He's talking to the voices in his head Lily. James is schizophrenic and Remus in paranoid."

James made his eyes wide and began to shake with nervous laughter. "You're all just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me!"

Remus began to wring his hands and his eyes darted from face to face. "I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me."

"Don't you have any problems Sirius?" Lily asked.

"I see dead people," said Sirius in a dead whisper, "Make them go away."

Lily rolled her eyes and focused he attention to the "motorcycle" moo-cow She put a loving arm around it. "Did the mean transvestite and werewolf scare you Jolly?" she whispered.

The boys, their various mental diseases forgotten the moment they heard Lily call the ox 'Jolly'

"Jolly? You named that thing Jolly?". James was agog.

"There is no creature on God's green earth that is less deserving of its name." said Sirius, who was aghast.

A large fake cough came from Peter. "You."

"That's the most foul tempered bovine yeh ever laid eyes upon. So if yeh do doubt yer courage than come neh further fer death awaits you all with nasty big, pointy teeth." Sirius yelled, his faked Scottish accent loud and thick.

"Well, they are our oxen and we get to name them." pronounced Lily. "James which ox do you want?"

James carefully selected one of the lead oxen. "His name is…Harry."

"James, I hate to burst your bubble, but the ox is female." Remus pointed out.

James looked and flushed when he realized his mistake. "So it is. Then her name will be…Harriet."

"So creative," Remus said with a hint of sarcasm. James glared. Remus selected the male in front of 'Jolly' "Your name is Greg. Nice and simple"

Sirius rubbed his hands together eagerly. He selected the male next to 'Harriet'. He chose the name…