Sirius Black, the Time Warp, and the Oregon Trail The Chapter where oxen are named, a harry potter fanfic

"…Patsy."

James' mouth was agape. Lily stared on in disbelief. Remus tried several attempts to say something but failed miserably. The best he could do was open his mouth, make a small sound and quickly clothes his mouth again.

Patsy? Sirius had actually named the largest, meanest, and smelliest bull and named it Patsy. What the hell kind of name was Patsy.

"What the hell kind if name is Patsy?" Remus blurted out.

Sirius narrowed his eyes narrowly. "You have a problem with Patsy?"

"No." said Remus sheepishly.

"Alrighty then." said Sirius rubbing his hands together eagerly, "Where are we going?"

Lily waved her wand and transformed Sirius's clothes back (she just forgot about it I guess). "Were off to Fort Ibitha in Idaho. It's an all-wizarding settlement, the first in the western United States."

"Are we all gathered? Remus, take roll." said James puffing out his chest importantly.

"Yes, sir!" shouted Remus with a quick salute.

"James, there are only a few of us here." stated Sirius

"Regulations require it." replied Remus with mock indignation.

"Remus is right," said James, "It may be that all of us aren't all here."

Peter raised his hand. "I say we take the roll and if anyone isn't here they're probably somewhere else."

The others nodded in agreement and proceeded to pack up their wagon.

God help them all.

They had sung every sailor shanty, church song, popular song both Muggle and magic in the first few hours of the trip. It was Sirius's turn to sing a song. And he couldn't think of one. Spotting Patsy he was inspired to do an improve song.

"How about the "Song of the Cebu'?" he suggested

"How does it go?" asked James.

"Just repeat what I sing."

"This is the story of a boy. This is a story about a boy and his Cebu. This is a story about a boy and his three Cebu."

Cebu!

Boy is riding in canoe

Into town with his Cebu

Sick Cebu is rowing and sneezing

Achoo moo moo

Moo moo

Cebu!

Hippo chewing on bamboo

Can't see boy and three Cebu

Sad Cebu is rowing and crying

Boo-hoo moo moo

Moo moo.

Cebu!

Achoo moo

Boo-hoo moo moo

Achoo moo moo

Achoo moo

Boo-hoo moo moo

Cebu!

Hippo seen by mute Cebu

Tries to warn the other two

Mute Cebu is grunting and waving

Mmmm

Mm!

"That's it I guess." Sirius sighed

"Wait just a minute!" Lily had just woken up. "You can't just leave it there! Is the mute Cebu successful in his attempt to inform his companions of the impending danger? Is the boy all right? Is the canoe wood or aluminum? Why is the sad Cebu sad? What exactly is a Cebu anyway?"

"Umm, it's kind of like a cow." Sirius said.

"I expected better from you Sirius."

Well, that just pissed Sirius off. He decided to add one more verse,

No more song about Cebu

Need another verse or two

Audience is standing and leaving

Bye-Bye moo moo

Moo moo