Comment: I know, I know, you're waiting for the confrontation between Beverly and Jean-Luc. And it's coming, I promise. Soon!!
Only, things were getting a bit too tense, and I really needed to clear up those dark clouds around poor Will, let him know that SOME things never change, and that he still has friends - besides Data, that is. AND it's my little wink to all those Imzadi shippers out there:)) Hey, anyway, YOU got what you wanted, didn't you?
I couldn't do this without you, I'm overwhelmed by the response to this story. With your help, it's turning from a drabble to something more like Bergman or Woody Allen in a bad mood :)) Thanks!!!
Chapter 7: Imzadi
"Hot chocolate... no, belay that order. Tea - Earl Grey, hot."
When the steaming glass cup materialized in the replicator, Deanna took it up and held it gingerly, not knowing very well what to do with it or why she had ordered it. She tasted a sip and made a face. Of course, she knew that tea was properly drunk without sugar, but...
The door-chime sounded. "Yes, come in."
The doors opened to reveal Will, leaning into the room but not stepping in. "Am I disturbing?"
"Will, you know you don't need to ask that."
He smiled and finally crossed the treshhold.
"Yes, I know. Normally. But I wasn't very sure about today, though."
"What's so different today?"
He sighed and raised his hands, then let them fall along his sides in a gesture of defeat.
"Oh, please, Deanna, don't give me the cheerful act again. I had some of that already. , Look, I know you probably mean well, but it's not helping, really." His voice was pained and terribly tired, and there were lines on his face Deanna had not seen before.
He was right. He was suffering, he needed her, and all she had been doing was avoiding him, pretending nothing happened, nothing was affecting him or the rest of the crew. Of course, being an empath, she had not believed her own lies for a second, which made her attitude especially difficult to maintain. Besides being completely absurd.
Deanna sat on the sofa beside Will and took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry. It's been a couple of bad days, hasn't it?"
"Read my mind, baby." Shoving his face into hers, he rolled his eyes and wiggled his eyebrows. So at least he hadn't lost his sense of humor yet.
Deadpan, she replied: "Don't you call me baby, COMMANDER. Besides, you know very well that I can not read your mind. Being an empath, not a telepath, only enables me to sense some of your stronger emotions in a very general way."
But he didn't follow through with the joke. Once the ice was broken and he had assured himself that they still were friends, he needed to get some weight off his mind.
"Oh, you can read MY mind, Deanna. Always could. I bet anyone could, for that matter. I'm not such a difficult guy to read."
"No, you're not." His head was hanging down. Deanna was about to begin to gently stroke his head in a way she knew soothed him, but then she took a deep breath. That time was over.
"I know what you've been through these last few days, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for not being there for you." She fought to keep back her tears. "I don't know if I can ever make it up to you, but-"
"Shshshsh, it's all right, Imzadi. No need to aplogize, not with me. I know this has been hard for you, too."
He looked up and gently brushed away the tears from her face, and as he reassured her, Will found it strange that he should find the comfort he had come looking for in comforting her. Just sitting there and knowing that he still had his Imzadi made life look less grim.
Finally, she pulled herself together. "Well, there are a few things I still CAN do. First of all, I am going to see the Captain-"
"Uh... Deanna, I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why not? I think it is a very good idea, especially now." She stood up and began to pace the room.
"He has always refused to accept the responsability of how his emotional reactions affect the rest of the crew. He has refused to accept that he HAS emotional reactions, period. And we have gone along with it, even supported it, because, let's face it, we eat whatever he puts on the table."
"That's a rather rude way to put it, Deanna."
"Well, it's true. Another way to say it would be that we love him just that way he is and wouldn't dream of trying to change him, and that would be true too, but the fact is that he can't afford that kind of an attitude being a starship captain. You don't know, Will, how often I have tried to talk to him about this, but as senstive as he is in so many other aspects, when it comes to this theme, it's like talking to a wall."
"Yeah, tell me about it." In response to Deanna's puzzled face, he added: "I just tried to talk to him myself."
"You did?!"
"I couldn't stand it anymore, Deanna, the cold stares, the stony face... just like when I first came on the Enterprise, only much worse, because this time I know it's not a test, I know he really hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you, Will."
Riker shook his head. "So I figured I'd cut right through it, confront him, you know. I kept hoping that maybe it was just a misunderstanding after all, that if I told him that nothing really happened between Beverly and me..."
He paused and gave her a meaningful look. " Because NOTHING happened..."
But it will, she thought. She didn't say it aloud, though. Instead, she simply nodded.
"He wouldn't listen." It wasn't a question.
"No. It was awful. It was - cruel."
"Cruel?"
"He said - things... I know he didn't mean them, and I know it hurt him more to say it than me to hear it, but... well, that's why I think it wouldn't be such a great idea to talk to him right now. Besides, I think Beverly is there now."
"What!?!"
"Well, I met her in the corridor and told her about my... conversation with the Captain. She was furious. I tried to stop her, but, short from tying her up and throwing her in the brig, there was no way to keep her."
"Oh my God..."
"Don't worry, I think she can handle him."
"Yes, I'm sure of that. But can he handle her?"
Only, things were getting a bit too tense, and I really needed to clear up those dark clouds around poor Will, let him know that SOME things never change, and that he still has friends - besides Data, that is. AND it's my little wink to all those Imzadi shippers out there:)) Hey, anyway, YOU got what you wanted, didn't you?
I couldn't do this without you, I'm overwhelmed by the response to this story. With your help, it's turning from a drabble to something more like Bergman or Woody Allen in a bad mood :)) Thanks!!!
Chapter 7: Imzadi
"Hot chocolate... no, belay that order. Tea - Earl Grey, hot."
When the steaming glass cup materialized in the replicator, Deanna took it up and held it gingerly, not knowing very well what to do with it or why she had ordered it. She tasted a sip and made a face. Of course, she knew that tea was properly drunk without sugar, but...
The door-chime sounded. "Yes, come in."
The doors opened to reveal Will, leaning into the room but not stepping in. "Am I disturbing?"
"Will, you know you don't need to ask that."
He smiled and finally crossed the treshhold.
"Yes, I know. Normally. But I wasn't very sure about today, though."
"What's so different today?"
He sighed and raised his hands, then let them fall along his sides in a gesture of defeat.
"Oh, please, Deanna, don't give me the cheerful act again. I had some of that already. , Look, I know you probably mean well, but it's not helping, really." His voice was pained and terribly tired, and there were lines on his face Deanna had not seen before.
He was right. He was suffering, he needed her, and all she had been doing was avoiding him, pretending nothing happened, nothing was affecting him or the rest of the crew. Of course, being an empath, she had not believed her own lies for a second, which made her attitude especially difficult to maintain. Besides being completely absurd.
Deanna sat on the sofa beside Will and took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry. It's been a couple of bad days, hasn't it?"
"Read my mind, baby." Shoving his face into hers, he rolled his eyes and wiggled his eyebrows. So at least he hadn't lost his sense of humor yet.
Deadpan, she replied: "Don't you call me baby, COMMANDER. Besides, you know very well that I can not read your mind. Being an empath, not a telepath, only enables me to sense some of your stronger emotions in a very general way."
But he didn't follow through with the joke. Once the ice was broken and he had assured himself that they still were friends, he needed to get some weight off his mind.
"Oh, you can read MY mind, Deanna. Always could. I bet anyone could, for that matter. I'm not such a difficult guy to read."
"No, you're not." His head was hanging down. Deanna was about to begin to gently stroke his head in a way she knew soothed him, but then she took a deep breath. That time was over.
"I know what you've been through these last few days, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for not being there for you." She fought to keep back her tears. "I don't know if I can ever make it up to you, but-"
"Shshshsh, it's all right, Imzadi. No need to aplogize, not with me. I know this has been hard for you, too."
He looked up and gently brushed away the tears from her face, and as he reassured her, Will found it strange that he should find the comfort he had come looking for in comforting her. Just sitting there and knowing that he still had his Imzadi made life look less grim.
Finally, she pulled herself together. "Well, there are a few things I still CAN do. First of all, I am going to see the Captain-"
"Uh... Deanna, I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why not? I think it is a very good idea, especially now." She stood up and began to pace the room.
"He has always refused to accept the responsability of how his emotional reactions affect the rest of the crew. He has refused to accept that he HAS emotional reactions, period. And we have gone along with it, even supported it, because, let's face it, we eat whatever he puts on the table."
"That's a rather rude way to put it, Deanna."
"Well, it's true. Another way to say it would be that we love him just that way he is and wouldn't dream of trying to change him, and that would be true too, but the fact is that he can't afford that kind of an attitude being a starship captain. You don't know, Will, how often I have tried to talk to him about this, but as senstive as he is in so many other aspects, when it comes to this theme, it's like talking to a wall."
"Yeah, tell me about it." In response to Deanna's puzzled face, he added: "I just tried to talk to him myself."
"You did?!"
"I couldn't stand it anymore, Deanna, the cold stares, the stony face... just like when I first came on the Enterprise, only much worse, because this time I know it's not a test, I know he really hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you, Will."
Riker shook his head. "So I figured I'd cut right through it, confront him, you know. I kept hoping that maybe it was just a misunderstanding after all, that if I told him that nothing really happened between Beverly and me..."
He paused and gave her a meaningful look. " Because NOTHING happened..."
But it will, she thought. She didn't say it aloud, though. Instead, she simply nodded.
"He wouldn't listen." It wasn't a question.
"No. It was awful. It was - cruel."
"Cruel?"
"He said - things... I know he didn't mean them, and I know it hurt him more to say it than me to hear it, but... well, that's why I think it wouldn't be such a great idea to talk to him right now. Besides, I think Beverly is there now."
"What!?!"
"Well, I met her in the corridor and told her about my... conversation with the Captain. She was furious. I tried to stop her, but, short from tying her up and throwing her in the brig, there was no way to keep her."
"Oh my God..."
"Don't worry, I think she can handle him."
"Yes, I'm sure of that. But can he handle her?"