Later that evening…

Sirius was bored…and alone…at night.

Not a good combination. Sneaking out from camp he meandered about until something hard made him fall on his bum.

"Who's there?" two voices asked.

"Remus? Snape? What the bloody hell are you two doing out here?"

"Lumos."

Remus lit his wand. They squinted from the sudden light.

"That's better. Severus here was afraid to relieve himself out here in the wilderness so I came with him."

Snape muttered darkly under his breath.

"Come again Snape. I didn't catch that?"

"Lupin only agreed to accompany me on one condition. I sell him my soul."

Sirius blinked rapidly. "I'd be lying if I said I understood that."

"We best start back now..." Remus began.

"No Remus. I found something very interesting." Sirius said, amusement in his voice.

"See!"

Remus and Snape had been lead down a narrow path to a field. Dozens of happy Holstein cows slept or grazed lazily. Sirius was beside himself with glee. His companions failed to see what was so important.

"They're cows, Black. I should hope you have a basic understanding of farm animals by thirteen."

"They're not just ordinary cows."

"They're Holstein cows." Remus observed. Then it hit him! "No Sirius. Leave the poor animals alone."

"I can't Remus. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity…Cow tipping."

Snape seemed mildly interested. "How dose one tip a cow?"

"First, you have to run, skip, and prance around the chosen cow. You know, to assess its height, weight, and calculate how hard you have to push. You have to 'moo' at the same time—"

"So the cows don't get wise." Remus stated matter-of-factly.

"—and when I tell you, start to chant 'happy, happy Holsteins'"

"I don't believe you."

"Trust me Snape. I wouldn't lie about something like this."

"It's a never-fail method. Guaranteed to knock 'em down." chorused Remus.

Snape set off at a jog toward a cow. He sped up as he approached. And there, in the dark, Severus Snape was running around like a chicken with its head cut off around a happy Holstein cow.

"Moooooooooo! Moooooooooooo!"

"I wish I had my camera." Sirius thought.

A light from above catches Remus' and Sirius' attention. A camera is slowly lowered from the sky.

"Thank you." Sirius called to the heavens. "Start to chant Snape!"

"Happy, happy Holsteins! Happy, happy Holsteins! Happy, happy Holsteins!"

"Now push."

With a mighty battle cry Snape charged at the unsuspecting bovine. Unfortunately the cow was heavier than he supposed. He smacked into the side of the cow and fell into a cow pie.

Remus and Sirius took dozens of snapshots of Snape. "Excellent blackmail Sirius." Remus said as he watched Snape's still form being licked.

"Blackmail is wrong and dishonest Remus." said Sirius with feigned anger.

"In other words, you're all for it."

"Exactly."