Chapter 6
Julia did rest, sort of, but not for very long. Old dreams, fears came haunting her sleep and she woke up with a cry, reaching around for her baby. For a few moments she simply let the tears fall, tears that hadn't fallen once that day. They weren't grief exactly, more pent up frustration. She sensed Charles approach, damning him and smiling even as she did. He was very sensitive. Mustn't let him see her weeping. Hastily she wiped her tears, reached for a mirror to check her appearance and grinned. Acting like a foolish school girl. Still, he was an intriguing man. Almost as interesting as--she cut off the thought and squelched the memory. She could not afford to think of him now, not with Charles on his way, not ever.
She heard the mental and physical knock, said, "I'm all right, Charles, come in."
"I didn't mean to intrude, but your distress was evident."
"Old nightmares," she said, "nothing more." She glanced around the room, "Tis a very nice place you have here."
"Thank you, an inheritance comes in handy."
"I can well see that. Will the inheritance cover the damage Nicky did to your training room? Perhaps I could--"
"No, it's already been taken care of," Charles said with a smile, thinking she had no real idea of the cost involved in repairing adamantium alloy walls. "He packs quite a charge."
"Yes, he does," Julia said, her eyes a bit sharper, "you never stop fishin' for information, do you?"
He had the grace to blush ever so lightly, "I'm afraid it's an incurable habit. As you said yourself, I don't tolerate insufficient information very well."
"That's all right, but you don't need to be sneaky about it. I'll answer your questions or no, but I'd prefer you asking them straight out."
"Fair enough. When did Gambit first manifest his mutant powers?"
"Quite early, I think, he was a precocious child. First time I saw him do anything was when he was nearly 2."
"But mutant children don't manifest their powers until they're much older, approaching puberty."
"I tell you I saw it with me own two eyes. He was as playing with some candles and he charged one up, and when it dropped it went boom." She smiled, "At first the little lad was startled, then he laughed, clapping his hands, delighted. He only stopped smiling when he looked at me and saw that I wasn't as happy over it as he was." Her eyes took on a distant look, "I was afraid for him, I thought he had just the mind touch, like I had, and that's easy to hide."
"Why did you want him to hide his talents?"
"No one wants their children exploited," she said as if it was self-evident. "I tried to teach him to be careful, but the LeBeaus are all so daft about that sort of thing I know they must have encouraged him. I told them to be careful--" She broke off.
"Something happened, then."
"Aye."
"What?"
She shook her head, "That I can't tell you. Only Nicky knows the whole of it anyway. I will say that afterwards, he was more careful, hiding even from me, from the Guild what he could do, and he started hating his mind powers."
"How old was he when," he searched for a word, smiled, "the incident happened?"
"No more than six."
His eyes narrowed and he lost the smile. "Why was he with the Guild so young? Were you a thief yourself?"
She chuckled, "Some would say I still am." She paused for a moment, weighed what she would tell him, "I gave him up to them ten weeks from the day he was born."
His eyes widened, she could feel the shock, the instinctive reproof, said defensively, "Don't judge what ye do not understand. I had me reasons for doin' as I did. I had to give up me boy for his sake."
"But--"
"I had reasons!" she blazed. "You cannot understand, the pain o' handing your own flesh and blood over to strangers, the cut to the heart when ye watch your baby, that ye grew inside ye so close call someone else Mother. It could be no other way."
It was a pain she carried to this day, he could see, could sense that. He knew the love she had for her son, knew she would do anything for him, but what could have prompted this? "Why? What were you so afraid of? Did you think they could give him a better home? Did the father--" That hit home. "You gave him up out of fear of his father?"
She said nothing, cursing herself for letting him see that much. "Tis none of your business."
"You said I could ask my questions."
"And I said I might not answer. This I will no' answer."
"Julia--"
"No. I will no' tell you." She had drawn up her knees to her chest, clutched at the blanket, pulling it up as if to cover herself. "It would do more harm..."
He wanted to press, but she was not ready for it. He knew she had to believe in the rightness of her decision, given the depth of her love, she must believe she had done right in giving up her baby. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up your pain again."
"Yes, you did, you think me relentless, willin' to do anythin for me son, and you're right, but you're just the same when it suits you," she said.
He bowed his head, this was not what he'd intended to do in coming here. "I am sorry." He turned his chair, "I'll have someone notify you when Kurt arrives."
She watched him go, hating him in that moment almost as much as she hated herself sometimes.
****
Charles sent Storm to inform Julia that Kurt had arrived. Storm noticed the slight tension in Charles, wondered why he didn't go and get her himself. He had seemed to like her, perhaps more than like, she thought, something must have happened, but she knew neither one would tell her. She knocked softly, "Julia?"
Julia opened the door, dressed already, weariness in her face, "So he's here."
"Yes, are you sure you feel ready--"
"You're a sweet child, but I must do this. Let's go."
Julia was quiet all the way down and though Storm was concerned, she was reluctant to pry. She took note of the way Julia stiffened a bit when she saw Charles, but otherwise, she seemed the same as ever. Storm brought herself up, having to remind herself that she had only met the woman that morning. It was so easy to like her, to feel she knew her.
"You must be Kurt," Julia said, extending her hand to the Nightcrawler. He took it in his dark three-fingered claw, and smiled.
"I'm pleased to meet you," he said with a slight German accent.
"Likewise. I'm told you're quite the accomplished teleporter."
"I hope so," he glanced at Charles, "But I wasn't called for social amenities. Shall we?"
"If you're ready?"
Kurt nodded and the party went to the Danger Room. Julia saw that it had changed quite a bit since she had last seen it. The floor was returned to normal except for the one platform and one adjoining it. It was quite crowded, but with equipment, not people. Almost unwillingly she glanced at Charles for an explanation.
"It's medical equipment. We have no idea if they have been injured in any way, or if pulling them back may hurt them. I thought it best to be prepared for the worst."
"Good thinking."
"The professor is taking every precaution," Scott told her, "We have everything here from bandaids to life support to cryogenic storage."
"Cryogenic...?"
"Only in case of an extreme emergency," Storm assured her as Rogue nodded.
"If something real bad's happened, and the life support won't be enough..."
"What could..?"
"It's happened before," Scott said uncomfortably. "Telepaths can project their minds away from their bodies in self defense, if their bodies... become incapable of supporting them. We have the means to preserve the bodies until their minds are recovered."
"I see," she said tightly, trying very hard not to think about the word he had shied away from using.
"As Ororo said, it's only in the case of an extreme emergency," Charles told her, his hoverchair gliding across the platform.
"Right. Shall we begin?" she said, arms crossed, face away from all the machines.
"Kurt, we believe they are here," he pointed to a square box that had been drawn on the floor. "Julia and I will link with you to give you a trail to follow, and will maintain contact until they are recovered."
Julia said nothing against his idea, but he could feel her shields raised, knew that beneath the crossed arms her hands were clenched.
"If you're ready then, frau?" Kurt said, extending a hand to her. She took it readily, taking the one Charles extended only a shade less surely.
'This will only work if there are no reservations,' Charles said to her privately.
'I know that, Charles,' she said with a familiar touch of tartness. 'But this does not mean I've entirely forgiven ye.'
'Of course,' he said, but smiled just a bit. 'Kurt, follow us...' He and Julia acted together, more smoothly now than before, showing Kurt what they sensed of Gambit and Jean, imprinting their location in his mind.
'This is not precisely like teleporting,' Kurt said, 'Es ist nicht so... direct.'
'I know, Kurt, we can only ask you to do what you are able,' Charles said, feeling Julia's approval and encouragement.
'Do what you can, laddie.'
Kurt nodded, 'I will do my best.'
For those watching, it seemed like the process took forever. They saw the intense concentration on the faces of the professor and Julia, saw the same intensity on Kurt's face as he disappeared in a flash of smoke and brimstone, then again as he reappeared, arms empty.
Rogue bit her lip, refusing to give up hope. This had to work, it just had to. Come on, Kurt, you can do it, she encouraged silently, unwilling to break his concentration and say the words aloud. A second time he disappeared and appeared, empty-handed. Rogue reached out a gloved hand to Storm, who clasped it with the same desperation she was feeling. A third and fourth time still alone.
"Can't quite phase to the right place," he mumbled, then disappeared. This time he was gone for heartbeats longer than usual. They began to think they may have lost him too. Rogue heard Cyclops take a breath, probably ready to stop this, when, with an immense flash and an overwhelming smell of brimstone, Kurt reappeared, both Jean and Gambit with him.
All three collapsed on the floor, Kurt unconscious, the other two with eyes wide, staring, unmoving.
"What's the matter with him?" Rogue asked frantically, "He's just lyin' there..." She looked to Psylocke and Revanche, each by Jean and Gambit respectively. They looked at each other, about to say something, when their words were drowned out by a cry from Julia.
She and Charles had come out of the link when Kurt had reappeared, but it had taken them a few moments to orient themselves. The first thing she had done was reach out to her son. "Where is he, Charles, his mind, it's not there--it's not there."
"Scott, the cryogenic equipment, please," Charles said, voice tight. "We'll need to transport them both to the medical room as soon as possible. Their bodies can receive more complete care there. And contact Forge, tell him his services will be needed after all."
****
Scott did as he was told, helping to move Jean even as he directed others to take care of Gambit and see to Kurt. Rogue reached over to close Gambit's eyes as she cradled his head gently and lifted him to the unit with Storm's help. Inside she was crying and screaming and she wanted to tear Jean's hair out, do something, for God's sake, instead of quietly taking a lifeless body that only this morning was smilin' just for her, kissing her hand, telling her with his heart how he felt about her. It wasn't fair. Why did Jean have to do this? She already had so much.
Rogue barely noticed Charles taking hold of Gambit's mother as they passed by with his body in the cryo tube, didn't notice when her own tears started falling. Only when the world around her became blurry did she realize why. Angrily she wiped away the tears, thinking back to when Remy had done that for her, so long ago on a magical ride through Central Park.
"It's not fair," she whispered, "It's just not fair..." She saw Wolverine coming to comfort her, backed away, she had to get away, get far away. She burst out of the room, flying at top speed through the house and outside, shooting straight up until the house dropped away, until the air started getting thin and cold.
She hovered there for a long time, how long she did not know, but might have stayed longer. Storm came for her, though. One of the few who could. She came silently, cloaked in warm winds and merely reached out to hold her. Rogue resisted at first, she didn't want to feel the warmth, to feel anything. But Storm was not put off, she came again, gently, firmly, holding her close and making the tears melt again.
"Let's go home," Storm said at last, and guided them both down, back to the mansion, back to Gambit.
"Ah was hopin' so much that," she mumbled between sobs, "but when Kurt got them and," hitched breath, "he wasn't there... Ah couldn't stand it, Ah just couldn't."
"I know, Rogue. But we cannot give up on him."
"Ah know." She took a deep breath, "Sorry to make you come after me."
"It is the least I can do."
Rogue caught something in that, "You're not blamin' yourself for what happened are you, 'Roro?"
The shock in those words made Storm smile, "Is that so strange an idea to you? It seems very natural to me."
"Why? Hell, if anyone ought to be feelin' that way it's me, Ah'm the one that was in the Danger Room with them, and it was my job to keep him away from her."
"Gambit prevented you very effectively, there is no blame in that."
"He wasn't exactly helpful to you, either. Ah know he never said it out loud, that he knew it was Jean. Sugah, closest he came was with me just before we went in. You can't blame yourself for not seein' what they both didn't want you to see."
"If I had been more trusting of him, if he felt that he would not be disbelieved..."
"Can't change people's minds with ifs.'" She paused a moment, "And that goes for Gambit, too. He bought into it just as much as anyone."
"Perhaps."
They landed and Rogue turned to her, "We both have to put the hurt and the blame aside and do what we can. Yeah, it's there but we got to go on, right?"
"I am supposed to be saying that to you."
"You already did," said Rogue, giving her a hug. "Now let's go back inside and plot out how miserable we're gonna make his life for puttin' us through this."
Storm laughed, smiling and holding the smile as she looked at Rogue. "You are right, my friend. We shall have to devise something suitable." They walked back hand in hand, and Storm thought back to the time when Rogue had first become an X-Man, how she had been one of the ones who had not wanted her here. Who would have thought, that from such strange beginnings, such a friendship would form? She thought of her first meeting with Gambit, so long ago, when she had been trapped in a child's body, when the Shadow King had almost had her in his grasp, his terrible hounds...
Storm missed a step, eyes widening, "Lian!"
"What?"
Storm started running, "That was her laughter, Goddess how could I have forgotten?"
"Storm, you're not making any sense! Who's Lian?"
"The mistress of the hounds."
****