Chapter 10
Charles opened his eyes and immediately tried to sit up. The dizziness and Storm pushing him down nearly stopped him, but there was an urgency that would not be denied. "Gambit, Jean, revive them, at once."
"Scott is already doing that, professor, please lie back," she urged.
"No, I must be there when he revives. The others, how are they?" he said, pushing her hand away.
"All coming to, Chuck," Wolverine said. "Must a' been some wild ride."
"For once your phrasing in 100 percent apt," Charles said, "Ororo, please, my hoverchair." He glanced over, "Scott, how are they doing?"
"Cryogenic reversal proceeding according to schedule."
"Speed it up if you can." He settled into the chair and was immediately at Scott's side.
"We're already at 75 percent," Scott told him, indicating the readings, "I started the procedure thirty seconds before we pulled you out."
"Good thinking, and good timing," Charles said.
"What happened?" Storm asked.
"Oh," they heard a moan, turned to see Rogue starting to stir, "Gambit! Come home..."
'He is home,' Charles thought at her. He felt her respond, but there had been too much awareness for her to swallow much of Gambit's power. Her telepathy was already fading.
"The procedure is complete, professor, I'm opening the containers now." He opened Gambit's first, then Jean's.
Immediately the professor reached out a hand to each of them, trying to find their minds. He breathed a sigh of relief. They were both there.
"Gambit?" Rogue said, the last bits of the telepathy fading, but strong enough to pick out their source. She stumbled off the bed, pulling the sensors off her body. "Gambit?"
"Rogue," he murmured, beginning to come around. "Home..."
"Welcome home, my friend," Storm said with a smile.
He opened his eyes, feeling all their good will, all their love, their worries fading. At first he smiled, glad for once to be able to feel that. But then he started seeing more, deeper, feeling the whole of their minds, all their thoughts, their memories rushing in on him, every detail that made them what they were was flooding into him and he couldn't stop it, he opened his mouth to scream but no sound was big enough. His hands covered his ears, he shut his eyes tight, cringing away in pain, God make it stop, Please, oh please, Make it STOP!
"Scott, the tranquilizer, now," Charles said tersely, holding back a wince. For a moment Scott stared, confused, seeing Gambit curled in like he was in agony and not understanding why, "Now, Scott!"
The three still on the beds, and Jean as well, whimpered. He handed the syringe to Xavier who immediately took one of Gambit's arms, "Pin it," he ordered, and Wolverine was there, holding it down while Charles shot the whole thing straight through his clothes to a vein he had sensed with his mind. A few seconds later Gambit relaxed, arm going limp in Logan's hold.
"What happened, professor? Why was he hurtin' like that?" Rogue asked, still shaky but more or less on her feet.
"He's incredibly sensitive," Charles said wearily, allowing a fraction of the control that had gotten him moving to slip. "He doesn't know how to turn off the awareness yet. The fight with Lian awoke all his power, but he hasn't had time to learn the control. Our minds were assaulting him like emotional missiles."
"Goddess," Storm whispered.
"Wait till you hear the whole story, sugah," Rogue said, a touch of awe overshadowing the headache she could feel coming on.
There was movement from Jean's chamber, and they looked to catch her opening her eyes. For a moment she looked around, disoriented. "How...?" she whispered.
"It's ok, you're back and Lian is gone," Scott said, trying to reassure her.
She looked at him, emotions chasing themselves over her face, relief, joy, shame, guilt, and god oh god regret that she was back. She opened her mouth, closed it again, turning away from all of them, especially the professor, he had seen, God he knew...
"Scott, the other syringe, please," Charles said, infinitely weary. This time Scott didn't wait to comply.
****
Charles kept Gambit sedated for the next couple of days, working with him every six hours when the effects of drug were beginning to wear off, teaching him, implanting in him the necessary control so he would not be crushed by his powers. At the end of the second day of training, Charles felt confident enough to give him only half the usual dose, enough so that his body would take over natural sleep patterns and work all traces of the drugs out of his system by morning. He sensed his student's apprehension even through the drug-induced haze, tried to assure him.
"I will protect you as much as I can," Charles whispered. Only slightly comforted, Gambit retreated into the haze, letting his mind be numbed by it. Charles waited until he was safely under before leaving. He hoped his efforts would be enough.
As usual, he found both Julia and Rogue waiting outside the field he had set up. Though keenly moved by the feelings they both had for Gambit, Charles had been adamant about keeping everyone away from his pupil until he could keep them away himself.
"How is he, Charles?" Julia asked.
"He's resting. He should be able to wake up tomorrow on his own."
"Does that mean we can visit?" Rogue asked hopefully.
"Under controlled circumstances, yes. One at a time, and absolutely no strong emotion. You must control your minds, keep them neutral, calm as much as possible."
"But you've been teachin' him--"
"Rogue, he's had his quite extensive telepathic talents roused to maximum pitch in the space of a day. Overnight, he is the most sensitive mind on the planet, present company included."
"But Charles... You..." Until now Julia had not quite comprehended the scope of the situation.
"I have mind talents, and they are quite extensive. However, my mind's sensitivity pales in comparison to Gambit's." He looked at both of them, "You know what he did. Did you really fail to consider the implications?"
"I thought it was all of us with him, the place..."
"That was a factor, yes, but his awareness was strong enough to encompass this whole world and every living thing on it. And still reach for more."
"It almost killed him--" Rogue began.
"Only because his body is too frail for his mind. The awareness would have survived, perhaps kept growing to fill the universe," his words drifted off, his mind caught by the possibilities.
"You mean he's like the Phoenix?"
"In some ways, though I don't believe his powers work the same way. He won't be able to destroy star systems the way she did, he can unify himself with the universe, I'm not sure he can alter what he finds, though."
"What about those arrows he was shooting at us?" Julia asked.
"Projective telepathy, intensified." He smiled without humor, "A most formidable weapon, one to match his talent for channeling energy." His smile became more real, "With considerably less structural damage."
"He won't like it," Julia said.
"He already doesn't," Charles said. "That's why we have to be careful."
****
Gambit was sitting on the roof, again. The tutoring the professor had given him helped some, but until he could properly maintain his shields without constantly having to think about it, being around anyone was trying. It had been five days now. Rogue, his mother, Storm, even Wolverine and Bishop had all tried to approach him, but he couldn't be with any of them for more than a few minutes at a time. All their thoughts, their concerns would overwhelm him and he'd have to escape. So he came to the roof, and took a lot of long walks through the woods. He could be with the professor, he was the only one whose control was tight enough not to leak. But the professor would always want to ask him questions, questions he didn't want to answer. Solitude was becoming a way of life.
"'m not up for chit chat," he said without turning around. Especially not with you, he thought behind very tight shields.
"Gambit, we're going to have to face each other some time, it may as well be now," Jean said quietly as she settled near him.
"We don' have dat much t' discuss. You're sorry for what happen', fine. Anythin' else?" He did not turn to look at her.
"You know there is." She didn't quite know how to begin, "It wasn't all Lian."
"I know that." He continued gazing over the forest, "But I don' love you. And you don' love me."
She bit her lip, you're wrong, she thought, kept her thoughts guarded. "I know," she said through dry lips. "But there was something--"
"Desire. 's gone now. Lian is gone."
Are you sure, she wanted to ask, didn't. "I guess you're right." She stood, glanced down at him, "Gambit." He looked up. "I am sorry." She tried a smile, "Mostly." She saw the flicker of surprise on his face and took off before he had a chance to say anything. She didn't want his pity or his anger. But it looked like he wasn't going to give her what she did want.
''s not me, y' know,' came his voice in her mind. ''s just a part of yourself dat you want t' let out.' She slammed her mind shut. If only he was right. But she very much doubted he was.
Gambit sensed some of her thoughts, knew, too, the part of her that Lian had preyed on, the part that had wanted to succumb. It was a part that Jean didn't acknowledge, but it had come out in this, it had dominated Madelyne and the Phoenix, it came out in her attraction to Wolverine. It was something she'd have to deal with sooner or later, but he wouldn't be able to help her. The best thing she could do was get involved with Logan. Somehow he doubted she would, she'd been fighting that particular battle for too long. Maybe Scott would be able to help her. He doubted it.
He took a long drag from his cigarette, tossed it, exhaling slowly. He stood, backed up a couple of steps and took a running leap off the roof, tucking into a ball, doing two twists and a somersault then stretching out into a dive as he watched the ground rush up at him. At the last second he twisted and tucked, rolling on the grass. The impact still jarred him, but a physical pain was better than psychic bombardment any day. He wondered if he'd ever get used to it.
"What the hell did you think you were doin'?" said an angry voice. "Maybe you should have cracked that thick head of yours, might do you some good."
He turned, knowing he would see Rogue landing. "Just doin' some exercise."
"The gym's for exercise, the Danger Room's for exercise, the roof ain't."
"Chere, you have t' broaden your horizons a little. Don' go limitin' yourself."
"Ain't my limits Ah'm worried about."
"Could you worry a little more quietly?"
"No," she exploded. "We all been codlin' you for days and all it's done is spoil you. It's time you face facts, Remy LeBeau, you got a gift, maybe one you don't like but you can't get rid of it by stayin' away from the people who care about you. Now give that mule inside you a swift kick and get some sense back in your head."
"Seems you already bent on doin' dat, chere," he said, though he smiled. He held out his hand, "But mebbe you're right. Come on, darlin', take a walk with this ol' mule."
She grumphed but took his hand and they started walking to the forest. "Where's that tree that gave you so much trouble?" she asked suddenly.
"It's dat way, I think. Why you want to know, chere?"
"Just keepin' it in mind in case you ever need it," she grinned.
He chuckled, "You're more than enough to do th' job yourself."
She turned a bit serious, "Ah know it's bad for you, Remy, but you have to get used to it. There ain't no running away from yourself, believe me, Ah know."
He paused, turned to face her, touched her face, careful to make sure it was only with his gloved fingers. He pulled her close, whispered, "The runnin' part I got down pat, hon, I'm jus' 'fraid of what'll happen when I stop."
She looked up quickly, "You want it, don't you."
"Every second I remember--"
"The heart of a star."
He nodded, eyes lowered, hands dropping away from her. "I can't do it, chere, I can't reach for it, cuz the minute I do, I'll lose myself. There won't be no goin' back."
"You don't know that. You can control it--"
He smiled a bit, "We both know I got me a problem with that."
"Well work on it," she snapped, holding him fiercely, "Ah'm not lettin' you go that easy."
He closed his eyes, feeling the strength in her, feeling her love, "We'll both hold on, chere," he whispered, "T'ain't no more neither one of us can do."
****