1 Author's Note: This story is, for one thing, extremely unfinished, and
these beginning chapters will definitely change. Basically, it's going to
be a retelling of the Fellowship's journey, starting at the Council of
Elrond and ending… well, I'm not sure where it's going to end. If you
review, I might keep writing on it. smile
Gandalf was annoyed.
"Sheesh! I escaped from Saruman's tower so I could make it to the council of Elrond, since apparently it is THE place to be, and now Elrond's off gallivanting with the hobbits! What ARE they doing, and what is TAKING so long?"
Legolas shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't Merry have some pipeweed he wanted them all to try?"
"Oh, no," Gandalf moaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the meantime, the four hobbits and Elrond were hanging out in a hidden grove.
Sam exhaled deeply. "Hey, Elrond!"
"What?" asked Elrond.
"Can I call you Ellie?" Sam asked, giggling.
Elrond raised an eyebrow and started to slowly back away.
"What about Ellrie?" asked Sam plaintively.
"Dude, you've got to try this stuff," said Pippin, trying to shove a pipe into Elrond's mouth. It went up his left nostril.
"Ow!" exclaimed the elf. He removed the pipe from his nostril, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and tried to look dignified. "I have to be prepared for the Council! This could be the most important day of all of our lives!" Frodo giggled. Elrond winced. Anything not to hear another giggle. "Fine. If it means that much to you. I'll do it." He, too, took a long drag on the pipe…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gandalf was in horror.
Elrond was singing.
"Love power," he warbled, "I'm talking about… love power. The power of a sweet flower is going to rule the earth, and they'll be a great rebirth!" He giggled. "Love is a flower that is fine. When I'm walkin with my darlin and we're holdin hands… Oh, no, wait, my darlin is dead." He frowned, then giggled again. "She's deeead. That's funny!"
"Yeah, mon!" said the four hobbits, raising their hands in unison.
Arwen shrank into her chair. "Daddy, you are so embarrassing."
Elrond jumped up on his chair and started wiggling his hips and his eyebrows simultaneously. "And I give a flower to the big fat cop, he takes his club and he beats me upppp! I give a flower to the garbage man, he stuffs my girl in the garbage cannn!" He strummed an imaginary guitar and banged his head up and down in the air, his braids flying in the air.
By that point, Gandalf was practically in tears. Legolas' face seemed to be frozen in an expression of utter disbelief. Arwen decided that she would solve the problem by committing suicide, so she did. Well, that's got her out of the way.
"Arwen! My darling! Noooooo!" screamed Aragorn, running to the edge of the ravine. "Is there any hope for her?" he asked Gandalf.
Gandalf walked over to join Aragorn. "Turn around," he ordered. Once Aragorn obeyed, Elrond resumed singing, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that his daughter was dead. Gandalf carefully climbed down to take a look at the Elvish princess.
"Gandalf – help me – I'm in pain—" said Arwen, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Ah, shit, she's alive," muttered Gandalf. He looked about quickly and decided no one was looking, so he threw a rock on Arwen's head. She yelped quietly and then went completely still. Gandalf looked around again, then quickly walked back up the slope, whistling to himself.
"Well? How doth my lady fare?" asked Aragorn, grabbing Gandalf's sleeve.
"Oh, quite dead," said Gandalf, trying to make himself look sorry. He had never liked that Arwen chick anyway. What was a handsome guy like Aragorn doing around HER?
Gandalf was annoyed.
"Sheesh! I escaped from Saruman's tower so I could make it to the council of Elrond, since apparently it is THE place to be, and now Elrond's off gallivanting with the hobbits! What ARE they doing, and what is TAKING so long?"
Legolas shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't Merry have some pipeweed he wanted them all to try?"
"Oh, no," Gandalf moaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the meantime, the four hobbits and Elrond were hanging out in a hidden grove.
Sam exhaled deeply. "Hey, Elrond!"
"What?" asked Elrond.
"Can I call you Ellie?" Sam asked, giggling.
Elrond raised an eyebrow and started to slowly back away.
"What about Ellrie?" asked Sam plaintively.
"Dude, you've got to try this stuff," said Pippin, trying to shove a pipe into Elrond's mouth. It went up his left nostril.
"Ow!" exclaimed the elf. He removed the pipe from his nostril, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and tried to look dignified. "I have to be prepared for the Council! This could be the most important day of all of our lives!" Frodo giggled. Elrond winced. Anything not to hear another giggle. "Fine. If it means that much to you. I'll do it." He, too, took a long drag on the pipe…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gandalf was in horror.
Elrond was singing.
"Love power," he warbled, "I'm talking about… love power. The power of a sweet flower is going to rule the earth, and they'll be a great rebirth!" He giggled. "Love is a flower that is fine. When I'm walkin with my darlin and we're holdin hands… Oh, no, wait, my darlin is dead." He frowned, then giggled again. "She's deeead. That's funny!"
"Yeah, mon!" said the four hobbits, raising their hands in unison.
Arwen shrank into her chair. "Daddy, you are so embarrassing."
Elrond jumped up on his chair and started wiggling his hips and his eyebrows simultaneously. "And I give a flower to the big fat cop, he takes his club and he beats me upppp! I give a flower to the garbage man, he stuffs my girl in the garbage cannn!" He strummed an imaginary guitar and banged his head up and down in the air, his braids flying in the air.
By that point, Gandalf was practically in tears. Legolas' face seemed to be frozen in an expression of utter disbelief. Arwen decided that she would solve the problem by committing suicide, so she did. Well, that's got her out of the way.
"Arwen! My darling! Noooooo!" screamed Aragorn, running to the edge of the ravine. "Is there any hope for her?" he asked Gandalf.
Gandalf walked over to join Aragorn. "Turn around," he ordered. Once Aragorn obeyed, Elrond resumed singing, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that his daughter was dead. Gandalf carefully climbed down to take a look at the Elvish princess.
"Gandalf – help me – I'm in pain—" said Arwen, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Ah, shit, she's alive," muttered Gandalf. He looked about quickly and decided no one was looking, so he threw a rock on Arwen's head. She yelped quietly and then went completely still. Gandalf looked around again, then quickly walked back up the slope, whistling to himself.
"Well? How doth my lady fare?" asked Aragorn, grabbing Gandalf's sleeve.
"Oh, quite dead," said Gandalf, trying to make himself look sorry. He had never liked that Arwen chick anyway. What was a handsome guy like Aragorn doing around HER?