It must be a sign. It is 1am and I cannot sleep, but "Hanging By a Moment"
just came on the radio. I bought the new Lifehouse cd today, but haven't
really listened to it too much yet. Four more days til "Chaos Theory!" I
am such a spoiler junkie. I can't resist.
Anyways, this story is not like any other story that I have ever written. It's sort of more complex. I thought of the idea yesterday, but I thought I was going to continue my last story so I've been trying to do that, until I was up and doing nothing about 20 minutes ago. Please review. Oh, and if you have time, please search in the R rated stories and read "Stinky Feet" because it really is a cute story, but it got hidden on the back shelf and no one has read it. I am working on continuing it so there will be more updates! Thanks!! Enjoy!!
The song is Martina McBride's "Safe in the Arms of Love." I thought the title was very appropriate for the story. Also, it's just a kick ass song!
My heart's not ready for the rocking chair
I need somebody who really cares
So tired of livin' solitare
Someday I'm gonna be
Safe in the arms of love
Strip your heart and it starts to snow
Love is a high-wire act I know
Someday I'll find a net below
Someday I'm gonna be
Safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I want arms that know how to rock me
Safe in the arms of love
I wanna fall and know that love has caught me
Safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I want a heart to be forever mine
Want eyes to see me satisfied
Gonna hang my heartaches out to dry
Some day I'm gonna be safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I used to be different. I used to be strong and not depend on anyone. That was a long time ago, though. It all changed when I fell in love, and that man fell in love with me. I realized I was allowed to get upset, and I was allowed to cry, and I didn't always have to be in control.
I also came to grips with my mother. Maybe it's because of Eric, and maybe it's just because I have finally grown up into the person I always knew I wanted to be. No, I'm not a doctor, but I am a nurse, and that is what suits me.
The week my brother came back to Chicago was one of the toughest days I've ever experienced. Maybe even harder then when Maggie came back. I had always thought it was a punishment when they came, but I have come to realize that it always makes me stronger. But back to my week. My brother called one morning and said he was at the airport and asked if I would come pick him up. I was surprised, but on the other hand, thrilled that he was in town. I should have realized the second he got in my car that something was different, that something had changed. He had changed. Ten minutes out, I found myself realizing that he had turned into Maggie. My worst nightmare had come true. I had spent all this time thinking about how the disease could hurt my future children, that I hadn't even considered Eric.
Then he got arrested for starting a brawl at a bar. I had just gotten home from the hospital after losing a patient when I got the call. I had to go to the jail and bail Eric out then take him back to his hotel. I pulled over on the way back to my apartment and sat sobbing in my car. When I finally was decent again, I drove to a liquor store and bought a bottle of wine before going home again.
About 20 minutes after I got home, John arrived with dinner. He didn't know about the whole jail thing, but he did know about the patient. John had been spending the night so much for the past couple of weeks that her apartment had almost become a second home for him. As he walked in the door with Italian food, I had this strange flashback of Brian Westlake walking through my door with a similar food selection. I froze for a second, but then came to my senses and realized it was Carter.
And I watched as John came in, willing to make me forget anything that had happened in the past 24 hours, just so I would be happy. I watched his eyes travel across the room and the shock as he saw the bottle sitting on my kitchen counter. Then he looked back at me and looked me in the eyes as a silent way of asking what the hell was going on.
"Eric." Was all I could say before shaking my head and looking away.
"You need to stop blaming other people or doing things for other people. You need to do things for yourself."
"It's not that easy." I suddenly felt how John must have felt when I caught him almost two years ago shooting up in that exam room. It's that hollow feeling in your stomach that appears when you realize something that other people have known all along and that you should have known too.
"I don't want to be the strong one anymore." I said, feeling my chin wobbling. John put the food down and wrapped his arms around me.
"I'll always protect you." He whispered in my ear as I started to sob for the second time that day.
And as he put his arms around me, I felt truly safe for the first time in my life. It was like being with Richard at the beginning but twenty times better. It was never like this with Luka.
"I love you." He whispered again. Stunned, I pulled away a little, but then realized that I had known that all along and that I loved him too.
"I love you too." I said, and I tilted my head up to look at him as he bent down to kiss me.
So, you see, I really have found my soul mate. It took me a long time to realize it, and we both have struggled with our feelings, but now we no longer have to conceal it. The old Abby would have hidden at the first sign of real intimacy. But the dance I used to do is no more. I have come to grips with things that I can't control. I can only be held responsible for myself. There is no need for me to be everyone's savior. It would be nice to be Super Woman, but could Super Woman have the man of her dreams? Probably not.
Anyways, this story is not like any other story that I have ever written. It's sort of more complex. I thought of the idea yesterday, but I thought I was going to continue my last story so I've been trying to do that, until I was up and doing nothing about 20 minutes ago. Please review. Oh, and if you have time, please search in the R rated stories and read "Stinky Feet" because it really is a cute story, but it got hidden on the back shelf and no one has read it. I am working on continuing it so there will be more updates! Thanks!! Enjoy!!
The song is Martina McBride's "Safe in the Arms of Love." I thought the title was very appropriate for the story. Also, it's just a kick ass song!
My heart's not ready for the rocking chair
I need somebody who really cares
So tired of livin' solitare
Someday I'm gonna be
Safe in the arms of love
Strip your heart and it starts to snow
Love is a high-wire act I know
Someday I'll find a net below
Someday I'm gonna be
Safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I want arms that know how to rock me
Safe in the arms of love
I wanna fall and know that love has caught me
Safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I want a heart to be forever mine
Want eyes to see me satisfied
Gonna hang my heartaches out to dry
Some day I'm gonna be safe in the arms of love
Safe in the arms of love
I used to be different. I used to be strong and not depend on anyone. That was a long time ago, though. It all changed when I fell in love, and that man fell in love with me. I realized I was allowed to get upset, and I was allowed to cry, and I didn't always have to be in control.
I also came to grips with my mother. Maybe it's because of Eric, and maybe it's just because I have finally grown up into the person I always knew I wanted to be. No, I'm not a doctor, but I am a nurse, and that is what suits me.
The week my brother came back to Chicago was one of the toughest days I've ever experienced. Maybe even harder then when Maggie came back. I had always thought it was a punishment when they came, but I have come to realize that it always makes me stronger. But back to my week. My brother called one morning and said he was at the airport and asked if I would come pick him up. I was surprised, but on the other hand, thrilled that he was in town. I should have realized the second he got in my car that something was different, that something had changed. He had changed. Ten minutes out, I found myself realizing that he had turned into Maggie. My worst nightmare had come true. I had spent all this time thinking about how the disease could hurt my future children, that I hadn't even considered Eric.
Then he got arrested for starting a brawl at a bar. I had just gotten home from the hospital after losing a patient when I got the call. I had to go to the jail and bail Eric out then take him back to his hotel. I pulled over on the way back to my apartment and sat sobbing in my car. When I finally was decent again, I drove to a liquor store and bought a bottle of wine before going home again.
About 20 minutes after I got home, John arrived with dinner. He didn't know about the whole jail thing, but he did know about the patient. John had been spending the night so much for the past couple of weeks that her apartment had almost become a second home for him. As he walked in the door with Italian food, I had this strange flashback of Brian Westlake walking through my door with a similar food selection. I froze for a second, but then came to my senses and realized it was Carter.
And I watched as John came in, willing to make me forget anything that had happened in the past 24 hours, just so I would be happy. I watched his eyes travel across the room and the shock as he saw the bottle sitting on my kitchen counter. Then he looked back at me and looked me in the eyes as a silent way of asking what the hell was going on.
"Eric." Was all I could say before shaking my head and looking away.
"You need to stop blaming other people or doing things for other people. You need to do things for yourself."
"It's not that easy." I suddenly felt how John must have felt when I caught him almost two years ago shooting up in that exam room. It's that hollow feeling in your stomach that appears when you realize something that other people have known all along and that you should have known too.
"I don't want to be the strong one anymore." I said, feeling my chin wobbling. John put the food down and wrapped his arms around me.
"I'll always protect you." He whispered in my ear as I started to sob for the second time that day.
And as he put his arms around me, I felt truly safe for the first time in my life. It was like being with Richard at the beginning but twenty times better. It was never like this with Luka.
"I love you." He whispered again. Stunned, I pulled away a little, but then realized that I had known that all along and that I loved him too.
"I love you too." I said, and I tilted my head up to look at him as he bent down to kiss me.
So, you see, I really have found my soul mate. It took me a long time to realize it, and we both have struggled with our feelings, but now we no longer have to conceal it. The old Abby would have hidden at the first sign of real intimacy. But the dance I used to do is no more. I have come to grips with things that I can't control. I can only be held responsible for myself. There is no need for me to be everyone's savior. It would be nice to be Super Woman, but could Super Woman have the man of her dreams? Probably not.