"Would you take a look at that!"

Peering over her boyfriend's arm at the scribbled-on sign-in sheet, Blue's eyes went wide with astonishment. "Uh..." She counted down the list with clear confusion and consternation. "I know rehearsals were tough, but isn't this a bit ridiculous?"

"I think the right words for this are we are buggered."

"Do you think they'd cancel the show?" She re-read the list, grimacing as she mentally checked off the characters. "As far as I can tell, we're missing a Griz, a Deut, a Tugger, a Jenny, a Mungo, a Jelly, a Vic and a Victoria."

Andy looked down at her. "And we have how many swings?"

"Uh...three."

"We're up the creek." He pronounced. "I suppose we should go up and see if our motivational speaker of the Devil's resemblance is about yet." He pulled a face. "Either we're all gonna have to go home, or he's going to clone us before show-time."

Across the desk, Leo grinned at the couple. "He was down here earlier, calling every single person on the list back to make sure they couldn't come in."

"And they couldn't?"

"Jonny has a sprained ankle, Helen is on holiday, Roberto lost his voice, Caroline was at the doctors," He ticked them off on his fingers. "Gil isn't coming back any time soon and Geeta claimed something about a very heavy period and not working well with a white costume."

Blue winced sympathetically. "Don't envy that excuse. It's bad enough in a colourful unitard. I remember when Cassie had seepage." A nauseous look crossed her face. "And I really didn't need to remember that."

"C'mon, shorty," Andy chuckled, looping an arm around her. "I suppose we better go up and see what they're going to do with this whole mess."

***

"But if you play him, then I play her and she plays my role..."

A pile of rainbow-coloured counters had been gathered, each one marked with the surviving actors and actresses initials. A board had been set up on the floor, with all the main character names written on it.

"Well, I can't play anyone else." Raymond laid his counter – a large pink one – on the printed word 'Alonzo' and smiled around. "That's me taken care of."

"Bloody jammy poofter." Tommy muttered under her breath, retrieving her crimson chip from the Bombalurina marker and moving it to the Grizabella marker.

"Which one?" John Marquez leaned over her with a faint smile, placing his striped chip on the Gus/Bustopher/Growltiger marker. He gave her rear a firm squeeze as he pulled back, receiving a startled look from her. "Oh, c'mon, Tom, surely you didn't think you're the only gay person in the cast to tease the gender you're not interested in."

"But no one knew!"

"Uh..." Blue looked away.

Andy nodded. "What she said..."

"You mean all of you knew John-boy was hiding the salami with another guy and no one bothered to tell me?"

Dropping a kiss on her lips, he chuckled. "It was worth it to see the look on your face, Tommy, darling." He cooed, his eyes glinting with mischief. "The others thought you knew I was bluffing, which is why they never told you."

"Yeah, Tom. We thought you realised on the first day." Blue added, placing a blue chip on the Demeter tab, the frowning and picking it up again. "You've never failed to recognise a gay guy before. I mean, even I knew it."

Tommy managed to utter a whimper. "I must be losing my touch."

"Ya think?" Malcolm sniggered, looking hopefully to the 'Mistoffelees' label. His face fell when he saw a chip with the initials 'JB' already sitting on it. "Crap." His eyes scanned the board, finding Bill Bailey free. A black and white chip was placed there.

"Whose gonna play the Tugger?" Jordan demanded. He was flipping a small disk of green up and down with his thumb. "In that case..." Leaning forward, he plopped his chip down on the name of 'Tugger'. "Norman never took a day off, so I want to get a chance to play him."

Joely gave him a curious look. "Have you actually rehearsed that role?"

"I was the understudy for months, Jo. How much attention have you been paying?" He grinned boyishly, an odd expression when combined with his facial tattoo. "Okay..." He scanned the board. "Whose gonna be Bomba, since Tommy's Griz?"

"That would be me." Geeta's slim arm appeared over the head of Jordan, placing a pure white counter on the Bombalurina tag. "What?"

"I thought you were off." Blue remarked.

"So did I, but Jamieson phoned and begged." The Asian dancer smirked. "I'm almost positive that he was on his knees and if I play the red kitty, I'll feel more secure about not...uh...well, you know what I mean."

"That still leaves us short of a Vicki. Who do we have that can be put in that role?"

"Well, I can play her, if we really need her." Rachel offered. "I'd rather not, though, because all those lifts and everything..."

"I could do that, then." Georgina put in. "Electra does bugger all and I am listed as one of the female kitten understudies."

Taking the girl's chip, Jordan placed it on the Victoria space. "Tony, you here?"

"Present."

"So we don't need an Admetus." Tony's chip was added to 'Admetus'. "Andy?"

"Munk, present and correct."

"Caroline?"

Blue piped in. "She's ill."

"Crap. We're a Jennyanydots down..." He looked up at the group. "Do we have anyone who can play Jennyanydots?"

"I can." Jenni said. "But I'm Rumpleteaser as well...do we have anyone who could play Rumple, if I went on as Jenny?"

Blue shrugged. "I could do that, if there's someone else who can understudy Dem."

Joely raised a hand. "I've played Bomba and I learned the Demeter lines in case of emergency, after the whole mess with Mara." On his knees at the board, Jordan moved several chips around, then nodded. "So now, we have no Cassie, but she doesn't do much anyway...okay, next in line. Mungojerrie. Nicky, do you...?"

"I'm the singing-free twin." The Johnson shrugged. "I can do the routine, but I'd sing totally off-key and I don't think that would go down well."

"God, no." A whimper came from next to Raymond. "You wouldn't be that evil."

Raymond gave his lover and look, then looked over at Jordan. "Malcolm is down as a Mungojerrie understudy, Jor." He replied, hugging the smaller dancer against his side. "His chips on Bill B now." The whimper increased in volume. "Sorry, hon, it had to be done."

"I hate my life."

"I know, sweets."

"What have we missed?" A voice called from the doorway, all eyes whipping around to Menke, who was standing there with Phil.

"Just the reassigning of the whole show, Menke." Andy replied with a rye grin. "Tell, me, can you play Old Deuteronomy?"

Green eyes went wide. "Oh dear..." Phil murmured. "It's that bad, is it?"

"Mal is playing Mungojerrie."

Menke nodded sagely. "It is THAT bad."

"Trust our girls to come the one night we're in the stupidest roles possible." Phil mumbled morosely. "I was hoping to play a hunk tonight and now, I'll probably be assigned Bill Bailey or something annoying and kitteny."

Jordan looked down at the spaces on the board. "Don't worry about it, Phil." He said with a wicked grin. "I know exactly who you can play and he's definitely not a kitten." Phil bent to look over the older dancer's shoulder and groaned.

"I suppose I walked into that." He murmured.

"What about me?" Menke inquired. "Anyone left for the best Munk in the world?"

"Allow me," Tommy snatched a chip from Jordan and bent over to place it on one of the vacancies, a mischievous smirk on her lips. Menke raised a brow, then peered down at the name on the board.

He turned to Tommy. "You're going to regret that, you know."

"My intention exactly." She playfully ran her hand across his chest.

"Tommy," He intoned gravely. "Did I tell you I was gay?"

Several of the others burst into shouts of laughter and Menke grinned engagingly at her, as Tommy crossed her arms and scowled at him. It would have looked terrifying, but for the laughter in her eyes.

***

"Helen! Oh, good, I thought I wouldn't find you in time!"

The actress' voice rang down the phone. "Mr. Jamieson?"

"Yes, yes…" Impatiently waving his hand, despite the futility of gestures, the manager drew a shaking breath. "My dear, we're rather short on cast members and I was wondering if there is any chance you would be able to come in for the show tonight?"

"Tonight? As in, two hours away?"

"Yes!"

Helen Marsden chuckled softly. "Well, the flight alone would take eight hours, so as much as I'd love to help, I'm afraid you'll just have to cope without me, darling. Jamaica is just too beautiful at this time of year."

The phone went dead and Jamieson released a howl of fury and panic. "Nooooooooooooooo!" He snatched up the list of numbers, calling the other offices. "Helen can't make it back. We're going to have to cancel the performance and refund everyone!"

"Is there no way you can...?"

"There are twenty-five characters in the full cast and we currently have a cast of twenty people present. There's no way we can adapt so many to other roles." A pulse was flickering in Jamieson's temple, his hair wild around his face, his cheeks crimson.

A knock at the door caused Jamieson to shriek "COME IN!" in a none-to-polite manner.

"Evening, sir." Jordan smiled broadly and stepped into the room, a sheet of paper held in his hands. "Er...you're looking a bit stressed, if you don't mind me saying so." On the orders of the cast, bar Joseph, he was looking forward to winding up the manager.

"Well, forgive me if I don't find the idea of canceling a show relaxing!"

"Canceling the show?" The dancer tried to look horrified.

"In case you haven't noticed, half the bloody cast are missing!"

"And?"

"And?" What the hell do you mean 'and?'? Don't you realise what this means? We don't have enough cast members to put the show on." Jamieson motioned to the door. "Would you mind leaving me to sort out how I'm going to deal with this?"

Jordan's smug grin spread across his face. "Actually, I think you might find you're mistaken."

"I beg your pardon?"

"But if you're so determined to cancel the show, I suppose I wouldn't mind a day off..."

Jamieson rapidly rounded the desk, frantically, blocking the door. "What exactly did you mean, Mr. Pryce?" He demanded, his voice quavering with nerves, his eyes bulging. "What am I mistaken about?"

"On this sheet of paper," Jordan waved it in front of Jamieson's face. "We have a cast list, with everyone moved into roles they can play. Only three characters are missing from the line-up and none of them are particularly important, but," He turned to open the door. "I'm sure you're not interested."

"Wait! Let me see that!" Jamieson snatched the sheet, hurrying back to his desk and reading rapidly through the list. Slowly, an unsteady grin slid onto his face. "Who came up with this casting?" He demanded.

"We did." Jordan replied.

"We?"

"The cast." He shrugged. "Since we figured one of the top people would remember who had rehearsed what, we thought we might as well do something about it."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Jordan gave him a cynical look. "We didn't do it for you." He said. "We did it for our family and friends in the audience."

"But you will go on?"

"Well, yeah." He smiled tightly. "Now, if you would excuse me 'sir', I do have to go and join the warm-ups with everyone else."

***

"So this is where Menke works? Can't say I'm impressed?" William Pike looked around at the building. "As if prancing around like a great poof isn't bad enough..."

Demi laughed softly. "That's my husband you're talking about, Billy." She said with a tone of mock-chastisement. She rubbed the slight swell of her belly, wondering if she should tell her friends her news yet. No, she decided, it would be more fun afterwards. "C'mon. We're front-rowing it."

Ascending the escalator towards the upper levels, Demi looked back at Rina, who was leaning on a walking stick on one side and Billy on the other. She had a broad smile on her face and was looking around with misty reminiscence.

"You okay, Rina?" Annie asked from behind the couple. Marie was the step behind her, cradling her own rucksack – containing screeds of art.

"Yeah." The red head called back, tossing her braid over her shoulder. "I'm just remembering what it used to be like…" A quiet chuckle escaped her, only to be replaced by a wince of pain. "Did I mention how much I hate having lame legs?"

"No worries, luv." Billy said fondly, bending and scooping her up against his chest, her stick finding its way into Annie's hands. "Let's get you to the top of the stairs and get a drink, before the show starts."

They only stopped to buy one of the more recent programmes and to look at the cast list for the day. Both Annie and Demi squealed with laughter, grabbing each other's arms and pointing at their significant other's names.

"Whatsit?" Rina demanded, wriggling in her boyfriend's arms. "Whosit and whatsit?"

"Phil and Menke are both on. Phil's being Coricopat." Annie burst into another fit of giggles, while Demi explained. She had her hand to her nose, her eyes dancing. "They're making Menke play Victor!"

Rina's jaw sagged. "Menke?" She repeated, more for her own benefit. "Playing Victor? You mean the dumbest, stupidest kitten in the world? The kitten who was dropped on his head at birth and stayed that way?"

"Demi!" Marie grabbed her friend's wrist. "Where are we sitting?"

"A 7 to 11, I think."

"Oh God…" Marie gasped, breaking into a fit of giggles. Her dark-haired friend gave her a curious look, then her eyes went wide and she started to laugh as well.

Demi looked from one to the other, bewildered. "What?"

Looking at the blonde, Annie was struggling to keep a straight face. "That's where our dearest darling Victor spends most of his time, you know." She said, the wide, impish grin breaking onto her features.

"Oh, dear Lord." Demi whimpered. "I really don't want to be peeing my pants with laughter when I'm sitting in the front row…"

"I'm guessin' that Menke playin' this guy is a bad thing?" Billy remarked to Rina, only to receive a chorus of assent from the three other women, who immediately cracked up, laughing again. "And that would be a yes."

***

"How naughty is Mungojerrie?"

"In what sense?"

"Would Misto...er...accidentally fall on his arse, if Mungojerrie happened to be standing behind him and kicked him in the back of the knee." Malcolm looked at Blue, who was watching him apply his make-up. "Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Of course." Blue grinned. Already in her full make-up, she and Malcolm had discussed their plans for the routine they had to perform together. "Mungojerrie can pretty much get away with anything this evening. Hell, I think Tugger could hump Munk's leg and they'd get away with it. You heard how desperate Jamieson was."

Malcolm nodded pensively. "Always a valid point." He murmured, holding out the narrow brush to her. "I want you to make me identical to you." Blue raised a brow. "Well, in as close a way as possible without de-knackering me."

"You trust me to do your make-up?"

"I never got round to studying the Mungojerrie chart." He gave her a half-grin. "I never thought

that I'd actually have to play him."

"Ah, well. It's not too hard." Hopping up to sit on his make-up desk, she claimed the pots of black, red and tangerine. "At least you got the top half and bottom halves of your face the right way around. I screwed that up the first time I did Rumple."

Malcolm chuckled, freezing as she started to carefully paint around his eyes, her tongue poking out in concentration. Occasionally checking her reflection in the mirror, she finished the eyes and cheek-stripes, then handed him the pot.

"What?"

"There's no way I'm putting lip-liner on any guy." She pulled a face. "Some things are even beyond my capabilities."

Malcolm grinned, claiming the brush. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. All that was missing was his cat-nose and the black markings on his upper-lip, which he added with deft familiarity, then stared at himself.

As much as he hated to admit it, he suited the colourful pattern.

"How are the gruesome twosome?" Tommy's head poked around the door, both Malcolm and Blue looking towards her in unison. "Eesh! Guys! Enough with the in sync thing. You're not playing Cori and Tanto, remember!"

Slapping a huge powderpuff against Malcolm's face, Blue cracked up in a hysterical bout of giggles at the expression on the Goth dancer's face, as he was liberally doused with a thick layer of white powder.

"All he needs now are the black lines everywhere and he'll be ready for the best Crow conventions in the country!" She squealed in surprise when he grabbed her round the waist and hauled her off the desktop.

"Oi'm gonna teach yer a lesson!" He squashed her in a tight hug. "An' yer never gonna get away from me!"

"Oh God!" Blue shrieked hysterically, tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks. "Someone help me! Mungojerrie's possessed Malcolm! He's grinning! Someone, quick! Kill it! Kill it! Use a herring!"

"Do we want to know what's going on in there?" Menke's voice said outside of the room.

"Apparently Malcolm's channeled his inner kitten and it's attacking Blue." Tommy replied casually, smoothing her unitard down over her hips. Her tail was hung over her shoulder, a cigarette in her hand.

In Victor-guise, Menke peered into the room to see Blue and Malcolm exchange a giggle-filled look. "You know," He remarked quietly. "Up until this day, Kashka was the scariest thing I saw in this theatre."

"Why this day?"

Menke merely pointed.

Tommy gaped.

Malcolm and Blue finished painting huge smiley faces on each other's bellies, then shot speculative looks in Tommy's direction. The tall dancer had never moved so fast as she did at that moment.

***

"Photos!"

"Damn! You brought it." With a great show of reluctance, Rachel – as Jellylorum – struck a pose with her husband, in his half-Tugger regalia. Andy snapped a rapid photo, then darted off in the direction he had seen Phil heading.

"Group hug!" He bellowed, barreling into the common area. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser both immediately yelped in protest and astonishment as they were both hauled off the ground by a grinning Alonzo.

Antoine looked at the camera. "You're weird, Andy." He remarked, only for the flash to dazzle him, leaving him blinking spots out his eyes. By the time he cleared them, he had an armful of Geeta as Bombalurina and another flash exploded.

"Pretty!" Andy cooed, adopting a blank expression and puckering his lips.

"Why is he taking all the photos anyway?" Antoine asked Blue, who – between posing for her boyfriend – was finishing tying her tail on.

"Souvenirs." She smiled. "Getting us in costumes we wouldn't normally be seen in. He want a huge group photos as the piece de resistance."

"But I'm in my usual costume."

The small dancer grinned up at him. "You, Ray, Nicky, Andy, Joseph, John, Tony, Rhiannon and Steffi are all that remains of sanity." She glanced around at people emerging from dressing rooms, pointing and laughing at each other. "The rest of us find this too amusing for words."

Antoine looked around. "So let me try and work this out. Tugger and Jellylorum are married tonight, while Alonzo and Mungojerrie are dating and Rumpleteaser and Munkustrap are practically living together."

"Pretty much." Blue agreed with a chuckle. A squeal escaped her as Andy flounced over and flashed the camera in her face. "Andy!"

"Picture!"

"That's what I figured." Looking around, she spotted Tommy sitting near one of the coffee tables, reading, a wicked grin crossing her face. "Andy, love, do you want a...er...very unique picture of Grizabella and Rumpleteaser having a bonding moment?"

"Hon, the fans would kill you if they saw that." Raymond chuckled, as Blue bounced behind the seated Tommy, leaning over her shoulder and dropping a fond kiss on her lips.

In a swift blur, Tommy brought the small dancer over the back of her chair and into her lap and reciprocated with more...interesting intentions. "How about that?" She panted, giving the camera a sultry look, her hands hidden near interesting parts of the smaller dancer's anatomy.

"I can't let them outdo us!" Malcolm protested, finally daring to appear from within his dressing room. Everyone turned and stared at him in sheer astonishment, not just because of the huge grin on the Goth's face.

"You come in colour! I always thought you were just a black and white!"

Malcolm grinned awkwardly, hurrying over towards Raymond. "This is my black and white, while I'm stuck in this costume. You want a controversial fan picture?" Reaching up, he yanked Raymond's mouth down to his, one hand grabbing his lover's crotch. The look of wide-eyed astonishment on the big dancer's face was caught in a flash to go down in immortality.

"Omigod!" Blue giggled dementedly. "Mal! We shouldn't have let you in that costume! You're getting naughty!"

Releasing his lover's...parts, he licked the inside of his own cheek, the wide, cocky half-grin still in place. "I told you that I shouldn't play Mungojerrie." He reminded them, darting over to where Blue was sitting. "The costume makes ya do the crazy!" Grabbing her up in his arms, like a child with a favourite ragdoll, he hugged her tightly. "Mungo Rumple pic!"

"Mal! Breathe! Can't!" Dropped rapidly, she fell on her rear and looked up at the laughing Tommy hopelessly. "I think we're going to regret this, you know."

"Oooooooooo!"

"Oh no..."

"S'a tail!" Andy felt something yank at his tail. "T'moved!" Slowly turning, nervous about what he was about to see, he found large green eyes staring up at him with an expression of dumb curiousity and a huge grin. "Ella!"

"Menke?"

"S'Victor!" He rolled onto his back, sticking his legs in the air. "Dats a foot!" He pointed at the end of his limb, then started to chuckle at the baffled looks around him. "Well, I was told Victor was completely brain-dead."

Tommy buried her face in her hands. "Oh dear." Was all she said until the call of places went up and Andy finished his rolls of film, with strange and terrifying group shots that would put off any fan of the show.

***

Sitting by one of the pipes, near the ramp at A7, the seating had been arranged as Annie at the ramp, with Maria next to her, then Demi, followed by Rina and Billy. The Overture had just finished and the stage stopped moving.

On the far side of the stage, Joely was slinking out as a strangely Cassandra-like Demeter, taller than Blue and almost as tall as Tommy. A thump from the pipe in front of Demi caught their attention, as a ball of paper bounced out of the pipe.

A warmered arm shot out and retrieved it, a timid little face peeking around the scrap of cloth hanging over the pipe. Demi was hard-pressed not to burst out laughing. With the ball in his mouth, Menke peered up at her, looking thoroughly confused, his expression inquiring. "What are these people doing outside my pipe?"

However, he still swung up onto the stage on cue, dropping his ball of paper in Demi's lap. He cocked his head at her expectantly and she raised a brow, opening the paper slowly and smoothing it out.

It read 'Georgina or Tantomile? Love you.'

Ignoring the curious looks from either side, she turned the paper to him and pointed to Georgina with a nod. He cocked his head with a blank look, then seemed to catch on and grinned widely down at them.

They simply cracked up.

Reaching over, Maria touched his hand. Menke blinked at her, then lifted his hand and examined it curiously. Turning both his hand and face back to them at the same time, he tilted his head and shook the paw. It did nothing. He shook it again, then it seemed to react and he offered it to them.

Billy was staring at Menke in sheer astonishment, as if unable to believe that it was the same normal man he had known when they were in hospital together and outside work. Crawling along the front of the his body bobbing up and down, his rear waving in the air, he halted directly in front of Billy and stared dumbly down at him.

Shifting awkwardly, Billy tried to stare back at him, but it seemed to him that the green eyes had some kind of force behind them that made him look away. When he did, Menke did a giddy victory spin, then bobbed back to his place.

Other members of the cast were appearing on the stage now and 'Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats' had begun.

Annie felt something tap her on the head and looked up to see Phil staring out blindly at the stage. A faint flicker of his lip made her aware that he knew she was looking at him. His buttocks flexed, making her grin, then he ran onstage with Marsha.

The next person to catch her attention as a multi-coloured feline that was crawling rapidly up the ramp beside her. She wouldn't have initially looked at him, but when he bent his wig and poked the prickly mass right into her ear, she couldn't help but notice.

Rubbing her ear, she turned to yell at Jonny, only to find Malcolm grinning from ear to ear at her, his blue eyes dancing. Her jaw sagged and she managed to nudge Maria, who also blinked in astonishment at the sight of the little Goth.

"Is that...?" Demi murmured. Annie and Maria nodded in unison, gawping at him.

Malcolm stuck his tongue out, then darted onto the stage to bump into Nicky, who had just scrambled up from another pipe. Sniffing at each other curiously, they gradually got closer to each other, until their noses bumped and they both leapt back, with a look that said 'Ick!' on their faces.

But, they still went back and did it all over again, almost missing their lines in the frenzy of sniffing that was on going.

By the time the full cast made it on stage, the four women in the front row were pointing at different characters who were hamming it up all over the stage and breaking into fits of giggles every few minutes.

***

During 'Jennyanydots', things went completely insane, with everyone and their mother forced to join in the routine. Of course, Victor seemed to have the insane talent for ending up facing the wrong way during every part of the routine, being corrected by either Jennyanydots or the chuckling Munkustrap.

His expression of delight when he was turned the right way made anyone who noticed him crack up entirely. Every time he was placed in the right place, the grin on his face said 'Wow! Look at me! I did it! How cool!'.

Every time that happened, he'd nudge his neighour, as if to say "Look at me! I'm in the right place! Aren't I clever?", but usually end up getting a cynical or confused look from the neighbour who had been in the right place anyway.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser happily had mini-fork battles, prodding at each other and

giggling dementedly whenever they were caught out. Possibly the naughtiest Mungojerrie to grace the London stage, he introduced his fork to Mistoffelees' derriere on more than one occasion, only to be hauled back by either Alonzo or Skimbleshanks.

By then end of the routine, things seemed to be progressing normally, despite the annoyed glares that Rumpleteaser was shooting darkly in the direction of Munkustrap, who was snuggling next to Demeter.

A howl of "Whooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooo!" made every single character freeze in a way that was – by no means – rehearsed. Several exchanged stunned glances, as the hatch at the back of the stage was flung open and Tugger exploded out.

Even the normal cry of 'Tugger!' didn't sound, as everyone stared up at him in blatant shock and amazement. Polishing his claws on his vest, he nodded approvingly, then started to sing, which made several cast members' jaws drop.

Strutting down from the car, his voice carried as much resonance as Roberto, a broad and thoroughly sexual grin on his face as he surveyed his surroundings at the Queens who were willing to jump him in that heartbeat.

"Jeez! What's with these swingers?" Rumpleteaser hissed in the direction of Mungojerrie. "Is there something in the bloody water that makes 'em crazy?"

He flashed her a broad grin, then rapidly yanked her tail and leapt clean over her shoulders to jog towards the smirking Tugger, who immediately high-fived him, his eyes dancing. The little dancer stared after them, then lunged forward for a piece of the action.

Munkustrap seemed thoroughly frustrated by this cockier-than-usual Tugger, chasing him around the stage in a vain attempt to make him behave, while Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser danced together in the background, butt bumping as an improvised routine.

Flirting cheekily with Bombalurina, he sniffed his way up her arm, reaching her armpit then pulling a face, before shoving her away with a startled and disgusted look on his face and an emphatic 'No!' as his statement.

The expression on the fallen Bombalurina's face couldn't match that of Tommy's version, but it didn't stop a shrill giggle escaping Rumpleteaser, who was bouncing crazily around behind the chuckling Tugger.

Reaching the climax of the routine, Tugger seemed surprised to find that Rumpleteaser had taken Electra's place, receiving a coy look from the striped kitten. His brow rose and his grin got a little wider.

Suddenly, Etcetera was no longer Tugger's favourite kitten, as Rumpleteaser started spinning in mad circles on her knees and squealing like a teeny-bopper-on-helium, taking the other kitten's only part, receiving a surprised look from her.

Clapping a hand down on Rumpleteaser's head, Tugger bent down and dropped a kiss on her nose. The striped kitten went rigid, eyes wide, staring at him mutely. Tugger grinned, tapping the centre of her forehead with his fingertip and she keeled over backwards.

Blowing the tip of his finger, he holstered his finger-pistol and looked around. "Cute," He murmured, then finished with a flourish. "About it!"

Of course, the end of his piece meant it was time for Grizabella to make her entrance and she tottered in from the sidelines, slumping down on the stage – strangely close to a group of five, in the front row, which no one could understand – and lowering her head.

***

"Hoi! Give 'em back!"

Malcolm gave Blue and innocent look. "You mean I don't wear the stockings?" He received a cuff around the ear of his wig and sighed. "All right, all right." Peeling off the stockings, he handed them back to her and reached for his fuzzy-rimmed socks.

Sitting down to quickly pull on the extra parts of her costume, the little dancer look over at him curiously. "Looking forward to our big number?"

"Like the morning in the bathroom after three vindaloos and a con carne." He tugged the vest over his head. "I think I'm going to forget my lines, fall on my arse, trip over the sacks, break my neck, or if I'm feeling especially good, all four."

"Confidence. I like that." Getting to her feet and pinging her suspenders, Blue checked herself over. "Well, I'm ready."

"And I'm going to puke."

Bounding behind him, she rubbed his tense shoulders comfortingly. "You're...no, we're going to do great and then, we're going to kick lil, Mericano Misto-man's arse in the popularity and cheer-volume."

"You think?"

"We've got Annie, Maria and company in the front row, Mal. Think about it."

"You know," Standing up and giving his vest another tug, he flashed a grin down at her. "Oi fink yer roight!"

"'Ows about we go an' show dem wot we's made of, Jerrie?"

"Oi'd be 'onoured, Teasah!" Handing her a sack, he gave her a boost up onto the narrow ledge where she would be starting out and scrambled quickly up behind her. "Ready or not, here we come." He muttered.

A demented giggle rang out in the silence.

Several people in the audience echoed it, unable to resist.

"Sh!" Another voice hissed, as two figures appeared over the top of the car, peering around suspiciously. Sliding down the car, Mungojerrie snuck forward warily, then jumped in fright as another hysterical giggle rang out, Rumpleteaser doubled over her sack.

As soon as Mungojerrie whipped around to look at her, she froze, her expression one of wary innocence. If she had said something, it would have been along the lines of "Did you 'ear someone gigglin'?"

"Sh!" He repeated, both of them tossing their sacks to each other simultaneously, then looking down as they caught one another's sack. Exchanging glances, they shucked the sacks towards the tyre as Mungojerrie seemed to become aware of the audience.

Slowly pivoting, he gave them a grin. "Mungojerrie," He began.

"And Rumpleteasah!" The tiny female dancer charged forward, smacking squarely into his back, knocking him forward a step and peeking under one of his arms. "We's a notorious couple of cats!"

With exchanges of fond grins and hugs frequently through the routine, Blue could see that Malcolm was starting to relax as the song went on, hamming up even more with every minute that passed.

Acting like naughty siblings, Mungojerrie seemed to have made it his priority to protect Rumpleteaser, except when he got in trouble. In those incidences, he blamed her with a conspicuously pointed finger and an innocent wandering look elsewhere.

By the time they reached the end of the routine, the audience was laughing out loud at their combination of innocent looks and cheeky antics. Both cartwheeling to the edge of the stage, the pair exchanged looks.

It had be discussed, the chances of them actually doing the double-cartwheel. However, they had tried it once and it had been far too hard to retain their balance, with almost a foot of height difference between the two.

Instead, they had settled for something that – if done properly – could look equally impressive.

Side-by-side, they launched themselves into a rapid run of back-flips across the stage, in a pattern of two-hand, one right hand, one left hand, two hands, no hands and land. Landing simultaneously, they both turned to the front of the stage, Blue jumping up and Malcolm catching her on his shoulder, her feet resting on his bent right leg, both grinning.

Hoots and cheers sounded from around them, so loud and lingering that the conductor seemed to choose to delay the restarting of the music. And it was in that moment that a figure waving in the centre front row caught Malcolm's attention.

Linda, wired up to a portable drip and wrapped securely in snug clothing, grinned widely at him, clapping furiously. Almost dropping Blue, her twin stared at her, depositing the smaller dancer as the music started up again.

It was only a miracle that got him through the run around the auditorium and up onto the car beside Blue. His legs were suddenly shaking as he hunted his sister's frail face out in the audience again, Andy starting to sing the opening of Old Deuteronomy.

Smiling at him, Linda gave him the thumbs up. When she received a happy grin from her brother, she returned it, blowing a kiss at him.

***

With the Deuteronomy understudy in place on the tyre, Andy started the lead-in to 'The Pekes and the Pollicles', sending various characters scattering around different parts of the set to get their 'Pollie' costumes on.

Looking up expectantly, Annie grinned as Malcolm literally bounced up the ramp beside her and towards the middle of the stage, as if he had springs in the soles of his feet. She looked sidelong as another pollicle dragged himself up the ramp, a look of shame, depression and disbelief on his stoic features.

His arms dangling nearly down to the floor, Phil heaved a huge sigh as he looked mournfully down at his girlfriend. "Look at me." He mouthed at her, shaking his head heavily from side to side. "I'm a poll."

The artist and her companions couldn't help laughing as Victor barreled straight into the back of Coricopat, Menke grinning from ear-to-ear until Phil slowly turned around and glare at him through narrowed eyes. Menke's face fell, his lower lip trembling.

Annie reached up and scratched his leg, which meant the pout receded a little. Phil turned away again, with the dignified calm of the spooky feline, at which second, Menke blew a loud raspberry at the back of his head.

Phil chose to ignore him, but almost grinned none-the-less.

Carrying on through the routine, there were only a few minor slip-ups in the final two ensemble numbers, especially with some confusion during 'The Jellicle Ball', thanks to the vast reassignment of so many characters.

As Tommy staggered on for her second major scene, the cast scattered around her, then fled, but not before Menke had been able to scratch her. Limping hopelessly towards whatever felines were left, Tommy reached out imploringly, desperately, tears glittering in her eyes.

Hiding out in the wings, Blue watched as the stunning dancer moved gracefully through the dance-steps. She almost finished each, only to fail on every one, falling heavily on one knee and one hand, clutching her ribs as if in severe pain.

Raising her face to the blue-wash spotlight, tears raining down her cheeks, she gave up the struggle to dance and started to sing softly. "Silence, not a sound from the pavement..." She reached absently towards the spotlight. "Has the moon lost her mem'ry?" She pulled her hand back and bowed her head. "She is smiling alone."

Blue felt her throat constrict, tears stinging her eyes.

"In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet..." Her fingers trailed along the surface of the stage, a dreamy look crossing her tear-stained face. "And the wind," She closed her eyes, as if hit by an unseen breeze. "Begins to moan."

Stumbling to her feet, she tottered across the stage. "Every street lamp," She reached out to different lights around the stage, each time recoiling. "Seems to beat a fatalistic warning. Someone mutters," She turned in the direction of an unheard voice, then looked away. "And a streetlamp gutters and soon..."She paused, her arms crossed protectively over her chest. "It will be morning..."

Blue felt warm arms around her waist and looked up to find Andy standing there. Raymond and Malcolm, both of whom looked incredibly tearful, flanked him. She squeezed his hands in hers and smiled faintly.

"Mem'ry," Her voice sank to a sorrowful breath. "All alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days..." She stumbled on 'old' with what sounded like a sob. Raising her fingers to her face, she sang softly. "I was beautiful then." A faint smile crossed her lips. "I remember the time I knew what happiness was..." She looked over her shoulder towards the spotlight. "Let the mem'ry live again."

She walked with forced elegance across the stage, pausing with a hopeful reach out behind her, but nothing touched her. Her shoulders heaved with a silent sob, but she straightened up again and limped proudly down the ramp.

The applause was deafening, but as soon as she was out of sight, she grabbed both Malcolm and Raymond by the arms and charged towards the nearest smoking-zone, tugging a battered packet of cigarettes and a lighter out of her pocket as her roommate and the boyfriend emerged beside them.

"So," Cigarette dangling from her lips, her make-up still damp with tears, she looked at Blue and Andy expectantly. "How do you think I did? Am I Griz?"

Raymond made an incoherent sound in his throat, one of his arms around Malcolm, who was happily puffing away on a full-tar cigarette. "I think that was a good whimper, Tom." He noted with a smile.

"You were bloody brilliant, Tom." Andy said, nodding, barely able to form words. "Griz has never been that sexy before...what was with flashing your thigh at me?"

"Just a lil something I learned from the German kittens." She chuckled. "As for you two," She looked from Blue to Malcolm. "I think we should have you both stuck in those roles, y'know. You're too frickin' cute."

"No way!" Malcolm protested vehemently. "I don't like that. I'm Misto, not a bloody cat burglar."

"And I'm not letting some other lady curl up with MY Munkustrap." Blue added, determinedly wrapping her arm around Andy's leg. He chuckled, reaching down to pet her. "Actually, I just remembered something...Andy, come with me."

"Shorty, we're only off for two minutes! We don't have time to do anything like that!"

"Shut up, Andy."

"Shutting up."

***

"Miss Lawson?"

"Uh..." Looking nervously up at the steward, Annie wondered briefly if she was about to get in trouble for risking a grope at Coricopat's rear when he was crawling passed her, just before 'The Jellicle Ball'. "Yes?"

"Would you and your friend mind coming with me?"

"I guess not." With a helpless look in the direction of Demi, Rina and Billy, Annie got up and motioned for Maria to join her, both of them following the steward around the crowded aisle and through a passage.

Annie felt a tingle of nervous surprise, realising that they were being led through towards the green room. She had only been there once or twice, several years before, when Menke had still be Munkustrap.

"Excuse me," She tapped the steward. "Why are we going through here?"

"Oh, someone asked for you." The steward smiled, halting at a door and pushing it open to reveal a single figure sitting on a chair. "Mr. Tenant, are these the two you..." He trailed off as Phil launched himself at them, catching Annie in a hug. "I assume that's a yes."

"You grabbed my arse!" He pulled back from his girlfriend, then twirled. "What do you think, though? Is my arse cute in this?"

"Your arse is cute in anything, you daft bugger! I thought I was in trouble!"

Phil gave her a broad grin that looked terrifying under his Coricopat make-up. "I know." He replied, his eyes twinkling. "I thought you might like some nice pictures of me as a cuddly little Coricopat." He batted his eyes. "Aren't I just the cutest?"

"Hell yeah!" Maria put in, then blushed to the roots of her hair.

"Knockity knock!" The door swung open and a silver-tabby face peeped in. "Anyone in here looking for a hunky Munky?" Annie blinked, slowly turning to stare as Andy sinuously glided into the room. "Tiny, get your stripy butt in here."

"All right, all right." Blue grumbled with mock annoyance. "I was the one who told you they'd be round here. You coulda waited for me. I only have short legs." She flashed a grin at both Annie and Maria. "Hope you don't mind me sending him around here." "Uh...?"

"Does that translate as 'Can I have a photo, Andy?'" Phil teasingly patted his girlfriend on the shoulder. "Honestly, Annie, he doesn't look that good in stripes." He paused, then looked over at Blue. "How about you and me, small person? How about letting Rumple and Cori have a thang going on?"

"I've done the Cori thing, already, mate." Blue chuckled. "But I suppose I could try it out again."

"Which leaves me with these two lovely ladies." Andy purred, smoothly slinking towards both of the artists. "Now, who has the camera?"

"Camera?"

"Omigod!" Annie managed to squeak, as Raymond hurried into the room. "Ray!"

"Uh, yeah?"

"I've never seen you in costume before!" She would have hurried towards him, but for a silver tabby that was blocking her way and that she couldn't find the heart to step around. "You'll let us take photos?"

"Photos? As in inspiration for pictures?" Blue sniggered.

"Girl, you know you just have to ask whenever!" Raymond paused with a coy smile. "As long as I get a pretty picture of me and my hunny."

"Your hunny?"

"Mungojerrie at the moment, but usually Misto or Billy Boy."

"Alonzo with a harem..." Annie murmured thoughtfully, her eyes glinting.

"Nah, hon. Just ones enough for me." The big dancer chuckled. "Now, you said somethin' about a camera..."

***

Back in their seats, their cameras protectively hugged by them both, Annie and Maria quickly whispered everything that had happened to Demi, Rina and Billy. Rina laughed merrily. "I remember playing opposite Phil's Munk...what a crackpot!"

"He makes a cute Cori." Annie protested defensively.

"Don't tell us you were looking at him when you had a Munkustrap in the room." Demi teased.

"I...er...well, I did get a hug from him." Annie gave her a lop-sided grin, yelping in fright when an long arm shot out of the pipe at her feet and grabbed her ankle. The arm was followed by Coricopat, then Tantomile, both of them coming to a seated position on their knees at Annie and Maria's feet. "Phil?"

He stared at her blankly, no sign of a smile anywhere on his stoic, calm face. Beside him, Marsha – not fully used to playing the witch cat – tried to hide a small smirk. Shoulder-to-shoulder, they both stared up at the two artists.

Annie snatched out a sketchpad and started drawing them with rapidity, before any of the audience members noticed that Coricopat and Tantomile were back out, five minutes early. In response to the large, open art-book, Phil licked at his 'whiskers' repeatedly, keeping his expression stony and neutral as Annie and Maria both cracked up.

Marsha, too, was having trouble keeping her face straight. Hiding her face behind Phil's shoulder, a muffled snigger escaped her.

When she finished the quick sketch, Annie turned to book towards him to show a goofy-looking Coricopat sticking his tongue out next to a giggling Tantomile. Phil gave it a cool look, then stared once more up at Annie, before turning and climbing onto the stage with Marsha.

Unable to resist, Annie gave his tail a yank for good measure and received a sharp swat from the patterned figure, which had just hauled himself out of the pipe, only to get a face-full of dangling Coricopat tail.

Pouting along at his wife, Menke rubbed his nose on the back of his warmer and looked as if he were about to burst into floods of tears. Maria reached over and gave him a good wig-rub, which received her a dopey grin and a shaking leg.

He swung up onto the stage, landing on his belly with a slapping sound. Rolling onto his back, he went into the classic Victoria pose, with both legs raised up. However, his face wasn't nearly as tranquil as Victoria's usually was.

Staring up at his raised feet with an expression of awe, he reached up to try and pull one down, but – in doing so – ended up falling flat on his back on the stage, his ankle clutched in his hands and a triumphant look on his face.

Pointing at his captured foot, his face lit up with a wide grin, he frowned, suddenly becoming aware that he was no longer sitting upright and looked around in confusion, as if trying to regain his bearings again.

Figuring out where he was, he stayed in that position, on his back and slowly steered his leg outwards. Repeating to motion with the other leg in the opposite direction, he rolled back upright and straight into the straddle-splits, his legs straight apart and flat on the smooth stage.

"Can you tell him...not to do that?" Billy winced.

"No man should be that flexible at that age." Annie murmured, unable to tear her eyes from Menke as he bent over his right leg and started nibbling on his own knee.

Apparently some of the other cast members were in agreement with the artist, staring down at the thirty-something dancer with something akin to awe. Most of them had seen him stretching and dancing in rehearsals, but nothing at all like this.

Billy furtively crossed his legs, while the four women merely gaped at the tall dancer, until Mungojerrie leap-frogged over Menke's shoulders and landed right in front of them with a broad grin, before ducking off towards the other side of the stage again.

***

"You really shouldn't have done that, hon."

Smearing some more of his make-up off, Malcolm looked up at Raymond, his face a mask of innocence. "Done what, Ray?"

"You know."

Tossing the moist wipe into the bin under the desk, the small Goth retrieved his eye make-up and started adding the black lines carefully. "Is it my fault," He asked, raising his eyes to look at Raymond's via his reflection, "That Mistoffelees wasn't looking where he was going and tripped over my foot during his number and looked like a complete twit?"

"The fact that Mungojerrie's foot kicked him in the shin is nothing whatsoever to do with it." A voice added from the other desk, where Jordan was cheerfully wiping off his own make-up. "I don't think anyone'll complain about that cocky little git getting taken down a peg or two."

"He might complain to the boss." Raymond protested. "You could get in real trouble, sweetie."

"Me? Trouble? Nah!" Hopping to his feet, Malcolm swung his jacket off the back of his chair. "I was just stretching and the daft bugger wasn't looking where he was going. I have at least a dozen witnesses to plead my case."

"He's not that bad." Andy added from his own desk, as Malcolm squatted down to fasten his boots. Three sets of eyes turned to him skeptically and he raised his hands. "Okay, okay! I was just trying to be nice!"

"Honesty is much more fun." Jordan chuckled.

"Guys, we're calling it a night." Malcolm stood up. "Apparently, some big poofter here decided that it would be fun to have my sister coming to visit, without telling me and now, we're booked in a restaurant."

Raymond grinned dopily. "She looked like she enjoyed herself, hon."

"Great." Malcolm groused, but his eyes were sparkling. "We'll see you tomorrow and Andy, I want photos, okay?"

"Yes, sir." The tall dancer pulled a face. "Photos, on the double."

Malcolm smirked. "Gotta love being in control."

Andy just blew a raspberry at him.