"Where is everyone?"
"Hmm?" Menke looked up from the novel he was reading. He was lying on his belly on the floor, his chin resting on his crossed wrists. His make-up got a raised brow from the petite dancer. "What was that?"
Blue pulled her gloves on. "Where is everyone? Normally they're buggering about in here."
"From what I heard, we were late in so everyone's a bit disorganised." He grinned at her. "You and me are the best ones at getting ready in a hurry, or so I heard...unless, you count the time Andy got into Munk make-up in five minutes."
"That was Tommy's fault." Blue chuckled, shaking her head and sitting down on the vacant seat next to him. "Uh...Menke, can I ask you something?" Green eyes looked up at her. "What the heck are you meant to be?"
He frowned. "Whaddya mean?"
"Did you just do your make-up blindfolded? You've got a ruddy great brown patch around your mouth."
Menke pouted at her. "I thought it looked pretty!" He exclaimed. "This is the George Bailey make-up, I'll have you know!" Seeing the puzzled look on her face, he groaned. "Don't tell me you've never heard of George Bailey."
"Closest I can guess it that he's Bill Bailey's evil twin." Blue gave him a helpless look.
"Pretty close there." Menke chuckled, swinging upright and sitting cross-legged. "I think he used to be called George, with a brown patch one eye and a black on the other." He puckered his lips. "The chocolate moustache was added somewhere along the line when they brought in the new costume design."
The petite dancer gave him a sceptical look. "And they just named him George Bailey?"
"Them? Nah! You're the net geek." Menke smirked. "You should know the nutcases that came up with it."
"Fans came up with it?"
"Apparently at the twentieth anniversary, when Rory Baines was playing him, he made a bit of an impression on them."
"And they named him?"
Stretching out his legs, Menke lifted himself on his hands and swung up onto his feet, straightening up. "Some strange girl, a friend of Annie's I think, came up with it and it kind of stuck in the cats fan world." He snickered. "Always knew they were weirdos."
Blue shook her head with a smile. "Look whose talking there." She remarked dryly, rising and taking Menke's arm. "Think we should just head to our places and wait for the others down there?" She looked around. "I don't like it when its this quiet."
"Why?" Menke gave her a sneaky grin.
Blue scowled at him. "Cos this is always what happens in horror films, right before the main character gets killed." She glanced around again. "All I would have to do is run around, calling for help, and it would be perfect."
"Well," The tiny dancer shrieked as she was hoisted off her feet and swung over Menke's shoulder. "I'll protect you from the big, nasty cast members!" He bellowed, sprinting for the stairs, with the girl gripping his tail belt for dear life.
"Some comfort!" She managed to yell, as she bounced against his back.
Menke laughed, jogging down the flight of stairs without letting her down, one arm securely wrapped around her narrow waist as he took at least four stairs at a time, Blue screaming all the way down.
***
"She doesn't suspect a thing." Andy murmured to Tommy as he placed his glowing eyes on over his wig. The red-decked dancer gave him a curious look, as she attached her own. "I just spoke to Menke. She thinks we were all just running late."
"Dozy little tart, isn't she?" Tommy chuckled affectionately.
"Think I'll manage to surprise her, hon?" Raymond inquired with a wide smile. He had switched places with Geeta, leaving her with Tony and Rhiannon.
His friend gave him a cynical look, ebony eyes sparkling with mischief. "No, Ray." Tommy replied, in a dead monotone. "I do not think that you will surprise her at all." Her eyes drifted down his body. "Much."
Raymond just grinned at her, which looked very odd against the colours of his make-up.
"You know," Rachel's voice came from right next to Andy, making him squeal with fright. "He looks like he's trying to outdo us in the weirdness scale here." She cast an eye over his make-up. "Now, why can every guy in this bleeding show do their make-up better than me?"
"Don't do that." Andy whined, clutching his chest. "Its scary!"
"Do what?" Jordan spoke from Andy's other side, initiating an equally loud squeal from the black and silver dancer.
Rachel smirked at her husband. "I think you scared him, dear." She cooed, motioning him to join her. She looped an arm around his waist, her right temple resting against his left. "Like the adjusted make-up?"
"Adjusted?" Three pairs of eyes stared at them, then – more specifically – at their foreheads.
Tommy's eyes bugged, her jaw dropping. Andy started sniggering behind his hand and Raymond giggled. "That doesn't say what I think it says, does it?"
"Well, none of the audience ever pay attention to us, so whose gonna know?" Jordan flashed a broad grin at her.
"You've both got sex written on your foreheads! I think someone might notice!"
"Sex?" The pair looked at each other in shock. "Tommy, you must be mistaken." Rachel shook her head, tutting gravely. "We only have some new speckles on our foreheads. Nothing more than that."
"Speckles that spell sex!" Tommy exclaimed.
Jordan rolled his eyes. "Prude." He grumbled, pulling his wife in front of him, his arm looped around her waist, and dipping his head to kiss his way up her neck.
"Hold up...you're calling Tommy a prude?" Andy goggled at them.
"Mmm-hmm." Jordan replied, before initiating a blindingly sexual kiss with the smirking Rachel, involving visible use of a lot of tongue on both sides and including twin sets of tongue piercings clicking together.
The other trio stared at them in shock. Normally, the couple never really publicly displayed the fact that they were actually involved, let alone married and now...
"That has to be wrong..." Andy uttered over the gentle click-click-click of the couple's matching tongue studs. "Christ...I've never seen a tongue that long..."
Rachel replied with a groan, cheerfully giving him the finger, as her husband's hand slid up from her waist, over her ribs and gave her small breast a squeeze through the thin material of her unitard.
"Don't you guys...like...breathe?" Raymond asked faintly.
Pulling apart, the couple exchanged smouldering looks, then Jordan turned back to their three stunned observers. "Well, we couldn't do a regular mouth-to-mouth thing, y'know. It would smudge our make-up." His hand continued to massage his wife's breast as he spoke.
"Plus, that way is always a fun way to shut people up." Rachel added with a grin. "They get so busy staring, they forget that they were actually telling us to stop." Her eyes sparkled, then she exclaimed. "Ooh! Did you like our studs?"
"Studs?"
"Uh-huh! The tongue studs!" She grinned. "Surely you noticed what was on them."
"Funny as it may sound, I was a little distracted by your husband's tongue licking yours..."
Jordan snickered. "You're not very observant." He murmured, he and his wife both sticking their tongues out. Right in the middle of their tongues, each of them had one of the cat's eyes from the logo of the show.
"You guys are weird." Andy observed dryly.
Rachel nodded, reaching behind her back and giving her husband a squeeze. "Well, at least we're weird and happy together." She smiled back at her other half, who nodded. "What do you think, Tommy?"
"Nuuuuugh?"
Andy's mismatched eyes went wide with shock. "Omigod!" He gasped, clutching at Raymond's muscular arm. The big dancer didn't object, smirking. "Ray..." He managed to get out. "Th-they managed to shut Tommy up..."
Tommy made an incoherent sound in her throat, still staring at Rachel.
"So she likes a girl with a long tongue, eh?" Rachel's wicked grin widened and she slowly slid her tongue between dark red lips, revealing a pink tongue longer than any that any of the trio had seen before.
"The piercing chap said that he could probably fit five studs in a row along it." Jordan put in conversationally. He reached up and gave it a playful tug with his forefinger and thumb. "Personally, I like it just the way it is."
The call that they were to go to places didn't stop Tommy staring at the pierced tongue, Andy forcefully dragging her away from the couple. She was still whimpering about it when they reached their opening positions.
"Tommy, it's a bleedin' tongue." Antoine sighed, when Andy tried to explain why Tommy was suddenly developing a crush on Rachel.
"Twang, dear," The tall woman turned on him, giving him a pointed look. "I'm a card-carrying lezzer, remember. I don't know what you know about our 'ways', but for me, a long tongue is never, ever a bad thing."
Andy gave her a nudge. "What about Sylvie?"
"Ah, she's is well-endowed in the length region as well..."
"She has a big dick?"
"Who has?" Helen asked, approaching and straightening her tail.
Tommy gave Andy an exasperated look. He grinned back at her. "Apparently, my girlfriend, Hel." She replied, leaving Helen staring at her in confusion, as the red-garbed dancer ran out into the auditorium.
***
Panting after the exertion of Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats, Blue practically sleep-walked her way through The Naming, aiming for the three young women seated at the end of Row D of the moving platform.
Annie gave her a wave, grinning.
Descending from the stage, she approached, directing her lines straight at them, staring down at them with all the disdain she could muster. Annie was having none of it and lifted her art folder into her lap.
Blue coolly gazed at her, raising her brows as if saying 'You expect a little thing like that to get me?', which only made Annie all the more determined to actually catch her out and she opened the folder, withdrawing a picture.
Everso slowly, she turned it towards the gold- and black-garbed dancer, giving her a particularly smug grin. Blue's eyes went a tiny bit wider, but she stayed in character, despite having to bite down on her lip to do so.
Annie pouted, as if disappointed, then slowly reached down and started pulling up the bottom of her shirt, flashing a strip of belly.
That did it.
The combination of the picture and the old joke about audience members flashing...
Demeter released a loud and unladylike snort of laughter, a broad smile flashing across her face. With a hiss at Annie, Blue darted back behind the scenes, shaking her head and clambering up to watch the Invitation dance over the back of the set.
She always liked watching the graceful dance, mainly because it meant she wasn't on stage and she could have a break. Also, it was one of the most beautiful examples of good form that she got a chance to see in the show and that was never something to sniff at.
On two occasions, she had to play Victoria, which had scared a lot of people because she was a contortionist and Victoria suddenly did frightening things that no mere mortal was meant to with her body.
However, something seemed slightly off about Victoria tonight.
Not on the grace and posture side, though. The leg-lift was exquisite and - as usual - many of the audience were wincing. However, something about the dancer's body shape seemed to be a little...wrong.
"Hey, luv."
"Andy, is Geeta off tonight?"
Andy shrugged, his shoulder pressing against hers, his eyes on the dancing figure on the stage. "Not that I know of. I saw her around a bit ago." He glanced down at her. "What made you think she was off?"
"Geeta isn't that big." Blue nodded towards the dancer who was sliding down into the splits.
"Well, duh!" A voice said from below them and Blue turned to look down. A look that combined shock, disbelief and astonishment crossed her face. Geeta grinned up at her from behind black and white make-up. "Like the new look?"
"Oh no..." Blue whimpered. "If Geeta is Alonzo then..." Her eyes returned to the large male dancer who was finishing his routine on centre stage, in the perfect, male-size Victoria costume, kindly provided by Annie and Maria. "Andy, that isn't...Ray, is it?"
Her lover didn't answer, grinning and leading the group charge over the back of the junk at Malcolm's call of the Invitation. When 'Victoria' got to his feet and towered over Mistoffelees, it answered the small dancer's question for her.
Her muttered "Nooooo..." went unheard.
***
Things progressed much along the same line for the continuation of the show. After getting over the shock of seeing Raymond actually doing the full splits for the Invitation, things got back to...normal?
With the opening lines of Jennyanydots' song, the strangest thing happened. Everything was absolutely perfect in absolutely every way. No one messed around, no one missed cues, no one tripped.
Except Caroline Dickson in the role of Jennyanydots
An utter perfectionist, this was the first time on record that she had missed her footing and most of the cast grinned, because they knew why: the shock of everyone actually doing everything right had startled her.
Her blatant astonishment and horror at committing an error, no matter how slight it was, almost made the rest of the cast crack up into hysterical laughter, but – fortunately – they managed to control themselves for the most part.
At least until it reached Tugger's number.
Prior to the show, Jordan had begged, pleaded and tried to bribe Roberto into letting him play the Tugger for changeover night, but the newly returned dancer had stubbornly told him that if he wanted to be a stud, he could be a studly Coricopat.
What he didn't realise was that, with half the female cast willing to join in on the joke, that was just what would happen.
The second Tugger burst through the backdrop of the stage meant that he got about a second of attention.
That was before almost every single lady on the stage raced over to coo over the smirking dark Warlock, who seemed to have replaced his lower body with rubber, his pelvis swivelling – seemingly unnoticed by him.
The moment he realised what was going on, Roberto immediately gave Jordan a curious look, cocking his brow. Jordan merely blew a kiss at him, before starting to perform the Tugger routine in his place.
Turning his attention to the only person not chasing Jordan, Roberto miserably shuffled in the direction of Blue, who was wrapped up in Andy's arms on the boot of the car, opening his arms for a hug.
Andy bared his teeth at him. Roberto returned the motion. A second later, Blue was tipped on the floor and Andy and Roberto had started a girly slapping fight at the back of the stage, only stopped when Blue got up and slapped Roberto on the rear.
The big dancer leapt two feet in the air, then gave her an anguished look, before racing off to take over the rest of his number, when Coricopat cheerfully ignored Bombalurina in favour of performing a body ripple in sync with his mate's body, which was pressed against his.
With Coricopat and Tantomile slinking back across the stage, leaving Roberto to finish his number, they had never drawn more attention to one another.
Pressed chest to chest, they moved in an intricate tango motion, their limbs twisting sinuously around one another's. They were staring intensely into one another's eyes, each of them with their left arm by their sides, Jordan's right hand on her back, Rachel's right splayed on the back of his head.
Blue nudged Andy, nodding questioningly in the direction of the dark pair. Andy gave her a blank look and shrug, gathering her back in her arms, despite the fact she was meant to be one of the group chasing Tugger.
She swatted him, but to no avail.
Sighing, she let him hug her tightly, bursting into a fit of giggles as Raymond took the place of the squealing Victoria at Tugger's feet, which was only made worse when Roberto bent and stared at him, an expression of confusion on his face.
Rayond grinned broadly, popping up on his knees and splatting a wet kiss on the startled dancer's nose. Roberto blinked twice, shaking his head, then finished his name with a coy grin in Raymond's direction, receiving a shy wave for his effort from the giggling 'Victoria'.
Fortunately, only a small number of the audience noticed that when Tugger stalked off during the appearance of Grizabella, he appeared on the pipe again and snuggled up with the large and giggly Victoria.
That song – along with Jennyanydots - was the only one that survived the abuse that the cast was hurling out to every single part of the show. Blue, though, enjoyed the song too much to let any of the boys mess it up.
The only ad lib that featured in the song was when she tried to walk forward a step and her leg snagged on something. That something transpired to be her leg warmer, which was caught on Menke's teeth.
He grinned at her and received a smack on the rear from Tommy before he released the mouthful of wool that he had. Whipping around, he dived between Tommy's feet, taking her tail with him and yanking her backwards.
Deliberately losing her balance, the red-clad dancer landed in the startled Menke's lap, giving him a sensual smile, before sliding smoothly to her feet, her body rubbing up his. As his kitten role demanded, he immediately went into the raptures, then faked a faint behind her.
Tommy licked her finger, marking a one in the air, before singing her section of 'Grizabella', her arm around Blue's shoulder. Blue just shook her head and tried to muffle a helpless snigger at her roommate's expression.
Sliding halfway down the ramp after the receding Grizabella, Blue had to clap a hand to her nose to stem her sniggering, when she noticed the piece of paper stuck to Helen's coat with the words 'Kick me' written on it.
Thanking her lucky stars that she had been distracted by Menke earlier in the song, she remained on the ramp a little longer than was strictly necessary, trying to force her grin down and retain some semblance of a normal expression on her face.
On stage, John was bustling around as Bustopher and Tommy was flirting copiously with him, blowing kisses at him. John was acting flattered to her face, but kept looking around at the audience with a horrified look on his face.
Remarkably, Caroline seemed to have relaxed since her slip-up and was scaring several of the male dancers by tweaking their rears as they passed her and nodding in the direction of behind the tyre in a more than obvious way.
Menke, of course, gleefully charged in to be the centre of her affections. On receiving a firm wig rub from her, which left one of his legs vertical and waving frantically in the air, a blissed look appeared on his face, which faded rapidly when Andy and Tony hauled him back into the line-up.
However, even in the line, his leg seemed to have taken on a life of its own, rising level with his shoulder. John bent close and gave it a firm poke, making Menke twitch and fall over backwards into a handspring.
"Show off." Jordan muttered under his breath as Menke landed neatly on his feet, when Bustopher moved off.
"Thankin' you." Menke retorted quietly, grinning.
"I can outdo that."
Green eyes met brown. "A challenge?" They turned and watched Bustopher hit his invisible golf ball off-stage.
"Yup." With the first Macavity scared, they exchanged glances. "Behind the stage, ten seconds." Jordan hissed, before darting off to weave around his wife's slender body, before racing off the stage in one direction.
Menke shook his head with a sigh, lunging off in the other direction.
In the distance, he vaguely registered the fact that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser singing their songs in broad Irish and Scottish accents had to be one of the funniest things he had heard for a long time.
"You!"
A hand shot out from the edge of the stage, catching him by the front of the unitard and hauling him behind the stage with a sound that sounded strangely like "Whulp!" It turned rapidly into a squeak of fright when Jordan and Rachel loomed out of the darkness.
"You challenged us, eh?" Rachel murmured silkily, a wicked smile on her face.
"Uh..."
"Not backing out now?" Jordan raised a brow.
Menke raised a single finger, pointing at one of them, then the other. "But you...I thought I was just challenging one..."
"Wuss." The blue-eyed woman purred, twining one of her lean legs around her husband's.
"I am not a wuss!" He exclaimed weakly.
The couple exchanged a suggestive look that made him regret saying those words, then Jordan turned back to him, ignoring his wife nuzzling at his neck. "Does that mean you want to accept the challenge?"
"That...depends."
"Told ya," Rachel breathed against Jordan's throat, her eyes sparkling. "Wuss."
"Well, if I knew what the challenge was..."
This time, Jordan really smiled and the expression made Menke cower back even further against the back of the set. "It's nothing really." He replied, his voice as casual as ever. "Merely a trifle..."
"Nothing special." Rachel added.
"At all." Jordan agreed softly, turning to claim a light brush of a kiss from his wife. Menke was sure he saw two tongue studs interlocking. In a blink, both of them turned back to him in the same motion, both staring intently at him. "We say we can get more applause than you can at final bows."
"WHAT?!?"
Both of them clapped a hand over his mouth sharply, both frowning. "Not so loud, Menke."
"Mits bjust dat..." He pulled their hands from his mouth. "It's just that you know that's never going to happen. I mean," He gave them his trademarked cocky grin, his green eyes glinting with glee. "I'm too damn good and the fans know me."
Jordan and Rachel stared at him, in true Coricopat and Tantomile style. "I think he's feeling over-confident, dear." The wife breathed, both of them taking a foreboding step closer towards the increasingly nervous Menke.
"Well, he hasn't seen us in competitive mode, has he?" The husband murmured, a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"So...if I accept, what does it entail?"
"Well, the more amusing things you do, the more people will notice and applaud. In other words, we have to out-amuse the audience." Menke suddenly grinned at him. "You think you can do it?"
Ruffling his wig, Menke's grin widened. "You are talking to the King of Kittens."
"So you accept?"
"Duh!"
On cue, they separated to race out around the set, to get back on stage to cut of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser, Jordan and Rachel blocking their escape path, then sinking down on their knees at the front of the stage.
"Poor twit." Jordan muttered, nuzzling his wife. "He doesn't know what he's let himself in for."
Together, both of them turned their heads – at the same angle no less – and smirked in the direction of the green-eyed dancer.
Menke, though, was oblivious.
Crouching behind the fourth row of the moving platform, he blew a cold hiss in Annie's ear to get her attention. The artist squealed loudly, both her and her friends jumping in surprise when Menke's face popped over the back of the seat.
"You git!"
"You gotta applaud loud for me." He muttered, before head-rubbing each of them and sprinting back onto the stage. The three women stared at him, the third of their number cocking her head at the dancer.
"Who was that?" She asked quietly.
"Menke Strep...you wrote about him, remember."
The brunette girl sitting next to her nodded, with a grin. "I just didn't recognise him in that make-up." She murmured, applauding Jonny and Jenni. "What idiot put him in the role of George Bailey?"
"I really don't wanna know..." Annie muttered. "He was one helluva cute Victor, though."
"And them?"
"Them?" Maria inquired.
Leaning forward, Cara pointed to just beyond the end of the row. Annie looked around, almost jumping into Cara's lap in fright. Georgina and Steffi were sitting there, staring at them, as the rest of the cast finished the chase sequence with Jonny and Jenni.
"Bloody hell!" Annie groaned, shaking her head, one hand to her heart. Both girls grinned at her, before running onto the stage.
Only then did all attention hit the front of the stage.
Malcolm rose with a breathy whisper. "Old Deuteronomy." He turned to Jordan and Rachel and actually blinked and rubbed his eye in disbelief. The couple were wrapped up in each others arms, nuzzling each other.
In sync with one another, they rose, their bodies seeming practically moulded together. They performed a tandem body ripple as they straightened up, something that could only look that sexual when done on purpose.
"I believe it is Old Deuteronomy." They purred in unison, sinking down again, still embracing one another.
At the back of the stage, Menke stared in shock.
They were going to do kitty porn live! That was their secret for getting all the applause! They were going to go as far as they could without being fired and get all the applause and cheering and he...wouldn't!
He would have to come up with a new plan.
Something bold.
Something dramatic.
Something that no one else had tried.
Trouble was, he didn't have nearly enough money in his current bank account to bribe the whole audience...
The alternative wasn't up to much either.
He had nowhere to stash the couple's bodies, despite the temptation to use the star trap.
Low-flying Coricopat and Tantomile...
He almost snickered aloud at that, but it didn't solve his dilemma.
Frowning, he realised he would have to work on it a whole deal, but – then – he realised it was time Old Deuteronomy, so he had all the time he would need to come up with a suitably cunning scheme.
***
"Hurry! Make ready!" Andy was jogging around the stage like a lunatic, pointed at random people. "Remember," He pointed to Blue, with a distinctly lewd wiggle of his hips. "What I... asked you to do."
Beneath her make-up, Blue went scarlet, ducking her head to hide her grin, remembering all too well what he had asked her to do. She also remembered what had followed, when she hadn't done it.
Apparently the blush was showing through her make-up. Tommy nudged her, raising a brow, with a suggestive leer. Blue returned the look, then nodded, grinning even more.
Tommy would be the only one who knew what the 'asked' was about, considering she had walked in on it. It went without saying that Andy's sounds of pain and mirth had caught her attention in the quiet flat.
She had entered the bedroom that the lovers shared, stopped short, stared mutely and then started giggling hysterically at the sight of Andy with his whole, naked, muscular body painted in Munkustrap colours.
Andy have given her a prim smile, trying to silence another giggle fit, as his girlfriend carefully finished adding the correct colours of body paints ticklishly to all parts of his anatomy with a delicate brush.
There had been far too many jokes from the Oriental-looking dancer about how Munkustrap's tail seemed to be hanging... wrong. The offended 'tail' had then been given special attention so it and its owner wouldn't feel too upset.
It had taken six washes to get the grey and black marks out of the sheets, that day.
By the time Andy had decided to go and wash his guise off, most of it seemed to be either all over Blue, or all over the bed, carpet and – strangely – Tommy.
The whole routine, though, seemed to be going as usual, although the Victoria snuggled up on Old Deuteronomy's lap almost obscured the fuzzy-coated Jellicle Leader, who was peeking under a bulging arm.
It seemed wiser for him – Benjamin – not to attempt to dislodge the large – and much larger – dancer for the time being.
On the rest of the stage, everyone seemed to be behaving for the most part, although Munkustrap seemed to get continuously distracted by a small, gold and black-patterned person near the oven.
Until, of course, the moment came for Rumpus.
No one knew who was going to be on as the suicidal star-trap-user, since Tony said he couldn't do it for this show, because he had a bad neck-ache.
As soon as he popped up, though, everyone cracked up and recognised him instantly. After all, he was the first Rumpus to have a chocolate-coloured moustache.
Erupting from the star trap, facing the back of the stage, instead of the front, Rumpus stretched out his arms and – in doing so – spread his red cape, a wide, insane grin on his masked face. A Superman-styled 'R' was sewn on the back.
He had to be tapped on the back, before he realised he was facing the wrong way.
Looking over his shoulder, he pretended that he knew he was facing the wrong way and did an extremely flamboyant bow with his cape, as he twirled around, flinging his arms wide again, making the whole cast double over hysterically.
Over the unitard, he had a pair of sequin-covered knickers.
"His eyes were like fireballs," Andy began, as Rumpus ignored him and starting dusting himself down, straightening his knickers and cape. "Ahem?" Menke looked up, red eyes glowing, grinned, then went back to fiddling with his knickers. "Fearfully blazing."
As the pollicles cowered around them, Menke lifted his right leg as high as he could, which was pretty much at the level of his head. He was still smoothing the wrinkles in the costume, shaking his head, when Andy gave him a poke.
"He gave a great yawn..." Andy prompted, motioning with his hand for Menke to yawn. Menke blinked at him, pointing at his mouth, checking what he was meant to do, then yawning. "And his jaws were amazing."
Rumpus looked delighted at the commendation and bit the front of Munkustrap's wig to show his joy at this.
Swatting Rumpus away, Munkustrap sighed, smoothing his wig and continuing. "And when he looked out of the bars of the area..." Rumpus bent down and peeked through Munkustrap's legs. "You never saw anything..."
Rumpus hit his head on Munkustrap's tail and leaped up into Munkustrap's arms with a girly shriek of terror. Andy looked down at him, then around at the audience. "Fiercer," He remarked heavily, dropping Menke.
On impact on the floor, Menke made the wig spring upright.
"Or hairier!" Andy leapt back a step, as if in shock at the sight of the horrendous thing on the black-clad dancer's head. Menke grinned, leaping to his feet and waving his bewigged head around like someone would at a Punk Concert.
Munkustrap's expression was one of sheer morbid fascination and he finally caught Rumpus by the scruff of his neck.
"And what with glare of his eyes and his yawning," He lectured, holding the yowling Rumpus cat in a headlock. "The Pekes and the Pollicles," All of whom were currently rolling around the stage in hysterics. "Quickly took warning. He looked at the skies and he gave a great leap and they every last one of them scattered like sheep!"
Immediately they took warning, as Rumpus broke free and ran to the back of the stage.
However, what they didn't count on was Rumpus starting to do a super-hero equivalent of the Conjuring Turn right in front of the tyre, his scarlet cape flaring around him and his knickers glittering in the spotlight.
At the front of the stage, Andy froze, staring in astonishment.
The departing Pekes and Pollicles stopped to stare.
The music stopped.
Everything halted.
And Menke kept right on spinning.
No one could say who it was who started it, but someone began to clap in time with the rhythmic spins and soon, every member of the cast had joined in and the majority of the audience had as well.
He was somewhere in the thirties, when he deliberately tripped over his tail, went into a forward somersault then handspring and motioned for Andy to continue with the song, with an imperious wave of his hand.
Struggling through the end of the song, staring at Menke with a new sense of awe, Andy couldn't help being relieved when the be-knickered superhero finally took leave of the stage for the beginning of The Jellicle Ball.
***
"You know," Rachel murmured to her husband. "We're gonna lose."
"Big time." He agreed glumly.
"Unless..."
He raised a brow. "You don't think that's a bit much?"
"Probably." He grinned. "But if we catch them, then..."
"We get more applause than anyone!"
"Well...almost."
"Where were they sitting?"
"D row, right side."
***
"Annie," Cara nudged her neighbour. Annie glanced at her. "Are they meant to be doing that?"
" Is who meant to be doing what?" Cara surreptitiously pointed at the mattress that was half-concealed by the bicycle tyre, where Tantomile was lying on her back, Coricopat leaning over her body, their arms around each other.
Annie and Maria both stared in shock, as Tantomile's left leg wrapped around Coricapt's hip, pulling him closer to her. "Good thing there are no kids on this side of the platform." Maria managed to whisper.
In unison, both of the couple turned to three women in the back row of the platform, small, sensual smiles on their lips. Tantomile's arms – over Coricopat's shoulders – slid back down, her fingers hooking into his upper back, as she arched beneath him. "Oh God..." Annie whimpered.
With a steamy nuzzle, Coricopat slid smoothly off his mate and the mattress, extending a hand for her to join him and – once again – they began their peculiarly sensual tango motion across the stage to their places.
"Didn't need to see that..." Maria mumbled. "So didn't need to see that."
"I thought it was...kinky. Especially the look on her face...did you see the look on her face when he did...er...that thing?" Cara put in with a mischievous grin. "What was wrong with it? Did it give you ideas or something?"
"Just shut up." Annie mumbled huffily, her fingers itching to reach down and grab her sketchpad and pencils. Cara snickered
The three of them turned their attention back to the stage and didn't see a tall striped figure making his escape off one side, until a fuzzy wig brushed against Annie's cheek and she turned to come face-to-face with Munkustrap.
A feeble "Meep?" escaped her.
"See you at intermission?" He murmured under his breath, looking at her from beneath hooded lids, his lips barely moving, a small suggestion of a smile on his lips. Annie nodded, shakily reaching up to ruffle the wig, having never been so close to him in costume.
Luckily, he quickly straightened up and raced away before she grabbed him around the neck and hauled him over the back of her chair and into her lap.
"Cute." Cara remarked with an approving nod.
"You haven't seen him outta make-up." Maria confided with a wicked grin.
"And we got us a date at intermission." Annie added softly, her eyes dancing.
Andy looked back at them with a broad smile, making sure he had their attention. They watched him dart onto the stage, joining in the initial part of the ball, dancing along with the rest of his friends.
Somehow, he, Antoine, Malcolm, Raymond and Menke all managed to make it to the girls' side of the stage, even though they were no where near their regular positions in the routine, and a row of pert, muscular derrieres were wiggled provocatively in the direction of the grinning trio.
"Can we touch 'em?" Cara hissed, with a wicked grin. "I'm pretty sure I could jump over this lot." She nodded to the three rows in front of her, her hands braced on the arms of her chair.
Annie and Maria both hurriedly made certain that they both had a secure grip on the younger woman's arm, to hold her back from launching herself at the row of wiggling totties just ahead of them.
On the stage, the guys looked back at them and just smirked, before spreading out for the rest of the routine.
***
"This is going to be interesting." Andy murmured to Antoine, as they sank down at the back of the stage in the lead up for the group snuggle. Antoine nodded, snickering, as Raymond took centre stage as Victoria.
He played coy, as many of the normal Victorias did, but the technicality none of them seemed to have thought about was the fact that the biggest man in the cast now needed someone to do a lift for him.
Not many were surprised when Malcolm gracefully rose to his feet and approached, giving the posing 'Victoria' an approving nod.
However, when he tried to lift Raymond at the waist, there was more than one loud snigger from the group surrounding them.
That snigger got louder as he bent and pushed his shoulder against Raymond's derriere in an attempt to lift him. It only got worse after that as he bent and stuck his head between Raymond's legs, trying to attempt to lift him on his shoulders.
Clearly surprised at this maltreatment, Raymond huffily turned round and bapped Malcolm on the head, before turning away and crossing his arms over his chest. Malcolm peered at him, then appeared to get an idea.
Reaching forward, he grabbed Raymond's tail, gave it a tug. Raymond tottered back a step, unresisting, but pulled a face over his shoulder.
Malcolm took that as a positive thing and threw all his weight back, pulling Raymond by the tail. He seemed to trip over someone and landed in a heap, then yelped aloud as Raymond cheerfully fell over on top of him.
That cued the group snuggle to take place and Andy found Blue timidly hiding at the side of the stage and – knowing that Annie and Company were watching – he gently drew into his arms and performed the kind of snuggle illegal anywhere but the porn channels.
His hand clasped her rear. Her hand lifted his hand from her rear. His hand closed over her breast. Her hand pushed it away. His hand grabbed at...somewhere else. She squealed in surprise and embarrassment, making half the snuggle pile crack up.
Shooting a glare over her shoulder at him, she managed a muffled sound of surprised as he actually sought out her lips with his own, holding her close.
It was a wonder that they actually got moving for the rest of the routine, considering the grip he had on her.
But they got started, the music pounding in their ears, their hearts racing.
The Ball was in full flow, most people in their regular position and performing their regular roles, although Blue did something she had not done since she had received the upgrade from Etcetera to Demeter.
Running down the row at the left side of the auditorium, to the end of J row, she adjusted her gloves and looked up at Andy. He was staring at her in disbelief that she would do that part of her routine when she was meant to be the adult cat.
With a flirtatious wink, she threw herself forward into a run of flips that went right around the aisle that circled all the way around the auditorium. She vaguely noticed the chorus of cheers from the known fans, as she sprinted up the ramp and spun to a halt in Munkustrap's arms.
"You're nuts, love." Andy murmured against her neck, his arms practically concealing his petite lover from sight.
Blue chuckled. "And you're surprised by this how?"
"Just shut up and snuggle me." Andy mumbled.
His little girlfriend reached up to massage the back of his neck with her fingertips. "Not too difficult, eh?" She smiled, drawing his head down to brush her wig against the front of his.
"I think I can live with it." He gave her a wink before lunging back into the routine.
***
"Did she still have it on her back?"
Standing in the wings, Antoine looked around at Tommy, grinning. "Not just something on the back now, Tommy-gal." He replied, nodding towards the stage, where Helen was tottering in random circles, trying to shake something off the heel of her shoe.
"What the…?"
"Is that what I think it is?" Geeta demanded, peering around Tommy, her arm around the taller dancer's waist.
"Bog roll." Antoine nodded, still grinning.
"Pink bog roll." Tommy added, staring incredulously as Raymond, as Victoria, pounced after the long strand of bright pink toilet paper that had somehow snagged on the heel of the Glamour Cat's shoe.
Geeta snickered. "Just as long as they don't start singing about how Grizabella the Glamour Shat…"
"Oh God…"Tommy groaned, shaking her head. "Heaven preserve us."
Antoine gave her a small smirk. "And just think, Tom, things are only going to get worse from here on in."
A loud and somewhat rude expletive from the tall dancer with interesting inclusions of what someone could do to a roast chicken on a Sunday dinner table meant all the group had to run to avoid being spotted by the audience, when they burst out laughing.