That evening Jessica paced through her sister's room. Elizabeth had been gone all evening and Jessica was waiting for her to come home. She heard the front door open and close and heard Elizabeth talking to her mom. Jessica bolted through the connecting bathroom. She didn't want Elizabeth to know she had been waiting for her. She heard Elizabeth bang through some drawers and finally Jessica crept in. Elizabeth was going through some photo albums and ripping pictures out and tossing them into a box. She also noticed a El Carro track t-shirt in the box as well. Jessica was surprised. If Conner and her sister had gotten back together, then why was Elizabeth doing this. Jessica coughed and Elizabeth whirled around. Jessica saw the scowl on Elizabeth's face transform from anger to pure spite. "Why are you so upset?" Jessica asked carefully. "I thought you and Conner got back together."
"You know, Conner thought the same thing as well. For some reason he thought I had forgiven him the other day. Now I don't know why he thought that. Either he's hallucinating or there is a some girl who looks exactly like me out there who told Conner that she still loved him." Jessica stepped back. Elizabeth was obviously out of control. "But now why would Conner think that?" Elizabeth said walking up to Jessica. "Why don't you tell me, Jessica?"
"I did it! I told pretended to be you and told Conner that you loved him!" Jessica said frantically.
"Why? Why did you do that Jess?" Elizabeth cried out. "It wasn't your choice to make and you lied to Conner and to me."
"I thought that was what you wanted, Liz. Every time you and Conner break up you're miserable. I wanted to save you the pain of being hurt."
"That's nice Jessica, but it wasn't fair to me or Conner. If Conner really wanted Alanna then it wasn't fair for him to be unhappy with me. Or how would I feel if Conner really didn't want me?"
"I messed up," Jessica said softly. "I just know how much it hurts when the guy you love leaves you for a girl you hate."
"I know Jessica, but you can't run people's lives like that. It just causes more anger. Conner and I could have probably ended the relationship quietly but instead it ended with us accusing each other. And this has been so typical-" Elizabeth stopped knowing that Jessica was going to be hurt if she went on and Elizabeth didn't want to hurt Jessica. She couldn't do that to her sister and best friend.
Jessica blushed and spat out angrily, "What are you saying, that I have been messing up your life? Don't try to spare my feelings. I wanted to work this out nicely but if you want to have this out then let's. Right now."
"You're right Jess." Elizabeth said pained. "You have made some bad moves. Trying to break me and Conner up, trying to ruin my friendship with Melissa and now this. Nothing you can say right now is going to make this better."
"I know," Jessica said softly knowing that she had done had really hurt Elizabeth. "I just want to explain. Melissa had done so much to hurt me at the beginning of the year and I just kind of wanted to even the score. I mean it was bad enough that Lila fell under her spell, but you, my own sister? And then when she took Jeremy away that was the last straw. I know now that I kind of drove Jeremy away, but I hated seeing you and Melissa together and I thought she would turn on you like she does with everyone she lets close."
"You so don't get it," Elizabeth said incredulously. "Our friendship was never about you."
"Exactly. I wanted you to understand I wanted you to get it. That Melissa could be bad but I know now that her friendship with you was different then the superficial ones she had with Cherie and Gina. But she didn't believe the rumors I started about you."
"So this is my fault? Elizabeth must be blind to Melissa's true intentions so I better spread rumors? That was exactly what Melissa did to you Jess. Didn't you learn anything?"
"This isn't your fault." Jessica insisted. "It was mine, okay. It's never your fault. I just felt so abandoned. You weren't there for me when Jeremy left me. Not like you were for Will or Ken or anyone else."
"You don't think I care about you?" Elizabeth asked hurt. "How dare you say-"
"You keep me at a distance, Liz." Jessica said truthfully. "You tell everything to Conner and Melissa before you even think of telling me. That whole thing you and Conner spending the night together-you went straight to Melissa. You deal with everything yourself Elizabeth. You could let me in so you don't have to be on top of things all the time.
"I do, Jess."
"No you don't." Jessica said coldly. "You're always pushing me away."
"Maybe I do. But you just can't accept the fact that I'm a stronger person then you are." Elizabeth said realizing for the first time how different she and Jessica truly were. Beyond compromise.
"It's hard sometimes, yes." Jessica agreed thinking about her bad grades and how her parents had always been so proud of Liz. "But that's not it-"
"Then what? I've given you everything Jess, my clothes, my friends, my soul, my life."
"You say that but I don't feel it," Jessica said angry.
"Well who's fault is that Jess? I've done everything I can, this is who I am."
"I know," Jessica said softly. "I just want things to be like they used to be."
Elizabeth was quiet for a moment and then looked Jessica in the eye. All the anger was gone and Jessica stared hopefully back. Finally Elizabeth said, "I don't think this is working out Jess. This is beyond fixing. I have something I wanted to tell you. I'm going to Stanford in the fall. We need the space. I need the space. I'm sorry Jess." Jessica felt tears forming in here eyes. She fled out of the room. How could Elizabeth do this to them? They had had some big fights before but nothing like this. How could Elizabeth just desert this lifelong friendship? Four years without her sister was just too much to think about. Jessica threw herself on her bed and cried.