Summary: well here's my attempt on the 5th book. It starts with (DUM DUM DUM) Dudley's in love! Yep, don't fall off your chair. Basically this 1st chapter is about Harry's summer in Privet Drive. I promise I've got a story planned already and it'll get more exciting after this.

Rating: G-PG

Pairing: Well, if u want to count Dudley/a girl… There are gonna be lots of pairings in later chapters. For now, there's a slight Krum/Hermione/Ron.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter & co. belong to the brilliant J. K. Rowling and the lucky WB folks. If I had owned HP, would I be writing a fanfic? No! I'd be making millions in the bookshop, actually selling my story. So don't sue me.

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF PHOENIX (My version!)

Chapter One: Privet Drive

Harry couldn't wait to get away from Privet Drive. If he had to take one more day of Dudley, well, let's just say Harry had to train his stomach to keep what little food he gets from Aunt Petunia (dinner of carrot sticks and an overdone potato) down every time Dudley appeared around the house.

No, Dudley had not become disgustingly fatter (though his diet seemed to have failed pathetically) that the sight of him was enough to bring Harry's food to his throat. On the contrary, the increasingly humongous boy had been 'grooming' himself more and more lately. You see, Dudley's hormones have kicked in and now he seemed to be in love. Who was the poor wretch, one might ask? Well her name was Sally Trapers and Harry could not help but feel sorry for the girl.

Dudley had spoken of no one else ever since he came back from school that summer and had even traded his playstation controller (well not literally because let's face it, this is Dudley we are talking about) for some nice – and expensive – colognes ('nothing less for a Dursley man' remarked uncle Vernon, rather loudly, at the Department store) and a tub of hair gel the size of Hagrid's rock cakes. Personally, Harry thought that Dudley looked more like a penguin who'd fallen to a tub of grease than a dashing Casanova.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia hadn't forgotten last year's incident with the Weasleys and were set to make Harry's summer as miserable as possible. Harry was reduced to garden duties most of time but was otherwise ignored. Whenever Harry was in the house, they acted as if he was invisible. At least being ignored was slightly better than being yelled at. They were probably scared that the Weasleys were going to pop up, blast their living room apart, and leave some rather nasty sweets for Dudley. Uncle Vernon had forbidden Harry from going near the fireplace in case 'some of your ruddy lot are hiding in there' and had replaced the old electric fire for a sturdier one. One, that Harry suspected, uncle Vernon hoped the Weasleys wouldn't be able to blast away. Aunt Petunia made sure that she hand-picked every one of Dudley's sweets and even testing some of them first before allowing Dudley to eat them. Harry had also been told to stay away from the kitchen (in case he wanted to slip something in their food). He was now to have his meals at his room - which was fine for Harry since the less Dursleys he saw, the better.

Harry had been extremely grateful for the letters sent by his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Ron was complaining of a boring summer and said that he'd pester his mum so that Harry could come to the Burrow. However, Dumbledore had apparently written to the Weasleys saying that Harry was to stay with the Dursleys for most of the summer. Harry had wondered about this. Why was Dumbledore so sure that he'd be safer in Privet Drive (with the worst bunch of muggles) than in the Burrow (with the best wizarding family Harry had ever known)? But he trusted Dumbledore and knew that the old wizard had a very good reason behind his decision.

Ron had complained even more about Hermione going over to Bulgaria to see Viktor Krum. This is what he'd written: Is she bloody mad? Doesn't she know how dangerous it is with You-Know-Who back? What was she thinking? And Krum being a Dumstrang student and all! For all she knows, he could be a death eater! Harry had tried his best to console Ron, telling him that she was enjoying herself and that she was writing regularly - which meant that Krum had not chopped her up and presented her as an offering to Voldemort. This had made Ron even angrier since Hermione hadn't apparently written to him for weeks.

Hermione had been using Krum's hawk to deliver her letter to Harry. The creature was black and sleek and Hedwig hadn't liked it at all. She'd refused to let it drink from her water dish or share her snacks. Harry had to sneak off to the kitchen to get a cup of water and a handful of cereals (after all, Bulgaria was a long trip). It was a good thing that aunt Petunia hadn't caught him yet so far. She would probably cut off his food entirely.

Hermione had mostly written about the beautiful sites to which Krum had taken her and about (surprise, surprise) homework. Apparently Krum was brilliant at Transfiguration and had been generously helping her with her essay. But Hermione had also written about how annoyed she was with Ron. She said that in every one of his letters, Ron kept on asking if she was still alive and telling her to go home. Hermione was so miffed by this that she hadn't bothered replying. Harry had tried to pacify the situation the best he could, but when it comes to a conflict between Ron and Hermione, Harry had learned that it's best to keep his nose out.

Sirius Black had also been sending frequent letters to Harry, mostly to check up on him. He was currently staying with Remus Lupin. They were both worried about Harry staying with the Dursleys but said that Dumbledore had insisted that it was necessary. This is what Sirius wrote: I'm sure Dumbledore knows what's best, Harry. Plus, if the Dursleys got too horrible, you could always threaten them with a little visit from your homicidal-maniac Godfather. The least I could do is use my reputation to help out my Godson! Harry had also asked about Dumbledore's secret instruction at the hospital wing that night, but Sirius would tell nothing of it.

So all in all, Harry longed for the day that he would be back at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, he would still have to wait for another one-and-half month.

A/N: Well, how didja like it? Flames, comments, criticisms, praises are all accepted so PLEASE REVIEW!! Yup, wanna know how? Click that tiny button down there and go crazy! The next chapter's gonna be about harry's birthday. Wanna know how it went, what he got? Review away! I usually get really happy when people review and when I'm happy, I write!