Chapter 4 -- All I Want…

Peggy was catching a few minutes of shut-eye on the couch in her office when the door opened.

"Doctor Fowler, we could use you in the ER," an orderly said.

Peggy yawned and sat up. "Suicide attempt?" she guessed, rising.

"No, car accident, actually."

Peggy frowned, confused by what they would need with a psychiatrist for.

"Anxiety attack."

"Ah." Peggy nodded and followed, grateful that it was nothing too serious. Accident victims often had anxiety reactions. Straightening her clothes and smoothing her hair, Peggy followed the orderly to the ER.

The girl was sitting on a bed, hugging her knees and sobbing quietly, not even noticing that her hospital gown was slipping off of one shoulder as they had a habit of doing. Peggy could tell without even glancing at her chart that her injuries were not serious, but she picked it up anyway to get a feel for what had happened. No alcohol in the girl's system, no other cars involved, and the roads had been dry. That alone set off red flags with Peggy. The name caused her to raise an eyebrow. Declan's earthquake-predicting student?

"Gabriella?" she asked softly, moving to stand next to the girl.

Gabe looked up, startled. She was jumpy in spite of the drugs they had shot into her IV when she had started to freak out. "Um… hi."

"My name's Peggy. I'm a psychiatrist. They said you had an anxiety attack?"

Gabe nodded, not looking at Peggy, a little ashamed. "Yeah, when they brought me in I guess I kind of freaked. But they gave me some Klonopin in my IV and I'm a lot better now."

"Why are you still crying?" Peggy asked gently. "Are you in pain?"

"Little." She shrugged and shook her head. "Not so bad that I need anything for it."

Peggy nodded and pulled a chair next to the bed. "Why don't you tell me about the accident?" she suggested gently.

She hesitated for a moment, sighing. "I shouldn't have been driving. I couldn't see the road very well…"

"Were you tired?" Peggy asked softly.

"I was crying," she admitted quietly.

"What were you crying about, Gabriella?" Peggy asked gently, making a mental note to have a long talk with Declan.

"I… I just… sometimes life's good, sometimes not so good. This has been one of the not so good weeks."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Peggy suggested gently.

"You ever tell a lie for so long that you start thinking it's the truth?" Gabe said abruptly.

Peggy nodded. "I don't think that there's anyone in the world who isn't guilty of that."

"And then the walls come crashing down." Gabe shifted the errant sleeve of her hospital gown, pulling it up again. "You know, the ironic part is that I was on my way to get drunk…" She laughed bitterly. "Don't drink, alcohol's evil. But I was going to go get drunk."

"Alcohol's evil?" Peggy repeated softly.

"Uh-huh. Or so I've always been told. Alcohol, drugs, smoking, cursing, television, Internet…" She trailed off, snorting derisively. "Basically, all of the fun stuff."

"So you come from a pretty conservative religious background."

"My parents were Pentecostals." Gabe extended her left forearm for Peggy's inspection. There were two small, round scars, side by side near the crook of her elbow. They were not the only ones, but as the most recent, they were the most visible. "Actual, honest to God, snake-handling, tongue-speaking, Pentecostals."

"Sounds like you don't really agree with a lot of their practices," Peggy observed.

"If I wanted to be told that it was evil for me to wear pants and go to college, I'd join the Taliban," came the bitter rejoinder.

"Must have been hard for you," Peggy said softly. "Especially after that snake bit you." She knew enough about snake-handlers to know that they believed that getting bitten indicated a lack of faith.

"That's why I got out." Gabe yawned. "Sorry. Drugs…"

"It's okay," Peggy assured her, smiling reassuringly. "Is there anyone you'd like me to call for you? Anyone who should know you're here?"


"As long as I'm out by Monday morning, I'm fine."

"Not your family? What about your friends?"

"Nah, they'd just worry." She shook her head.

Peggy considered this reaction. "Why don't you tell me about this lie of yours, Gabriella."

"Not a lot to tell, really." Gabe shrugged.

Peggy took a deep breath, unable to believe what she was about to do. "That's not how I've heard it, Gabriella. Declan tells me a different story."

"Stupid freaking coincidences," Gabe grumbled.

"Declan doesn't believe in coincidences," Peggy told her softly.

"Declan's a fool!"

"You honestly believe that?" Peggy asked softly.

"Has he told you what he believes about me?"

Peggy nodded. "And he told me about the test you took, and your results, and he said that he was going to talk to you about them. Is that why you were crying?"

Gabe shook her head furiously. "All I want…" She took a deep breath and slammed her mouth shut.

Peggy looked up as the heart monitor started beeping faster.

"Just close your eyes and take some deep breaths," Peggy suggested gently, walking Gabe through a breathing exercise. It took better than fifteen minutes for the girl to calm down again, and, even then, Peggy waited before asking, "What do you want, Gabriella?"

"To be normal." Gabe shrugged. "It's not a lot to ask, you know. I don't want to get incredible grades, or be incredibly popular, or particularly attractive, just… normal."

Peggy nodded understandingly. "Gabriella, they want to keep you over-night, so I'd like you to try to get some sleep now. And I want to talk to you again before you leave, okay?"

Gabe nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Get some rest now, and I'll be here all night if you need anything."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Call me Peggy." Peggy smiled gently. "Now get some rest."

Gabe nodded. "I'll try."

Peggy nodded and left the room. "Let's get 10 mils of Ambien into miss Watts," she suggested. "I don't think she's going to be able to sleep otherwise."

The night-nurse nodded and rose to get the sleep-aid. "Yes, Doctor Fowler."

"Call me right away if she asks for me or if she gets another anxiety-attack," Peggy added over her shoulder as she left.

Shaking her head, she stepped into the elevator and returned to her office. She glanced at the clock for a few moments before picking up the phone and dialing Declan's home-number.

"Gabe?" Declan yawned into the phone.

"Not exactly," Peggy replied, startled. "Were you expecting to hear from her tonight?"

"Um, I was worried, left a message…"

"Oh." Peggy nodded. "Declan, she's here. I just talked to her."

"Oh, my God. What did she do?" Declan asked, all traces of drowsiness vanishing from his voice.

"She got into a car accident, Declan. She was crying and couldn't see the road."

"Oh, God," Declan muttered. "Is she okay?"

"She's shaken up."

"I'll bet."

"Um, Declan, you were… I think you might have been right about her."

"You're going to be there for awhile?"

"Yeah." She was on-call all night, and was spending the night in her office as she often did under those circumstances.

"I'll be right over."

Peggy nodded and hung up, sighing. Whether Declan had been right about the girl's particular talent or not, her upbringing was troubling to Peggy. Excessive religiosity in a child's upbringing was not usually part of the formula for good mental health in adults. A healthy level of religious participation was one thing, definitely beneficial, but that girl had snake-bites. More than one, several at least 15 years old, which would have made her 7 or 8 when she had been bitten. There was nothing healthy about that.

The girl would have been subject to some very severe alienation from her parents if, as she had said, they viewed it as evil for a female to attend college. Peggy could only assume that discipline had been harsh and frequently administered. She could not help but recall the movie Carrie. The overly-religious mother, convinced that her daughter's gift was of the Devil. If Gabriella actually had such a gift, had her parents viewed it in a similar light.

She sighed deeply.

"Hey, you okay?" Declan asked softly, knocking on the open door.

"Yeah, Declan." She nodded. "Just thinking about Gabriella."

He nodded.

"You mentioned that her results were pretty extraordinary?" she asked, rising and offering him a seat.


Declan nodded. "She was right better than 90% of the time for the next card in the sequence. That is… unprecedented, Peg."

"She's so scared, Declan," Peggy said softly. "All she wants is to be a normal kid."

Declan sighed and nodded. "I know, Peggy, but she's not. She can't ignore this gift of hers."

"I seriously doubt that she views it as a gift," Peggy told him. "She says all she wants is to be normal."

Declan frowned. "Thus, she views her gift as abnormal."

"Right." Peggy nodded and sighed. "Declan…"

"I know, Peg." He shook his head. "I know…"

"You can't push her on this."

"I can't not," Declan protested. "Peggy, this is… huge. This girl is proof. Do you know how many lives she could save if she worked at that Earthquake Prediction Center?"

"None, because no one listens to them, Declan," Peggy sighed.

"Well, can I talk to her?" Declan asked.

"In the morning, if she wants to."

Declan nodded. "You want company?"

"You were sound asleep when I called, Declan. Wouldn't you rather go home to bed than wait for Gabriella to wake up?"

"Who said anything about Gabe? I asked if you wanted company." Declan smiled at her, testing out Gabe's 'too adorable to resist' theory, and was rewarded with a smile and a nod. Peggy's smile alone was worth pretty much any hassle. Hell, he would have gone to see a chick-flick with that smile alone as the pay-off.

"So, how is your office coming?" Peggy asked, pouring him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." He grinned at her again and was rewarded with yet another smile. Wow, her smile was gorgeous. "Well, it's moved from looking like an earthquake hit it to looking like a tornado hit it."

Peggy smiled again, sitting down next to him. "Well, I think that qualifies as progress," she laughed.

Declan nodded. "The students were very disappointed to find out that the papers survived in-tact." He shook his head, chuckling. "Tragic piece of luck."

Peggy smiled and shook her head.

"So, what chick-flick are you and Miranda planning on dragging me to next weekend?"

"Haven't decided yet." Peggy smiled wickedly. "We'll settle on something… suitable."

"Ouch…" Declan shook his head and leaned back on the couch. "Something tells me I'm going to be too sick to attend."

Peggy laughed and shook her head. "What makes you think Miranda and I will take 'no' for an answer?" she inquired casually, drawing a groan from Declan.

***

Gabe looked up at the knock on her door. "Come in."

"Hey, Gabe," Declan said, walking in. "Peggy tells me they want to keep you for a few days?"

She nodded slowly. "She says that she thinks I'm having some kind of situational anxiety thing. So they want to keep me and make sure it's not a full-blown panic disorder."

"What do you think?" Declan asked gently, walking over to her bedside. "You blame me?"

She shook her head. "No," she sighed. "You may be the trigger, but you are not the cause."

"You want to talk about it?" Declan asked, sitting down next to her.

"There isn't much to say. My upbringing was messed up, ergo, so am I." She shrugged. "Did you get my paper graded?"

Declan reached into folder he was carrying and handed it to her. "Ninety-eight percent, highest grade in the class. As usual."

She glanced over the paper, covered with red marks, though mostly notes of approval or agreement or suggestions for other books she might be interested. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I liked you poem, too," he told her. "But it worried me a little."

"Look, Declan, I know you're trying to help or whatever, but I don't want any part of this. All I want is to get my degree and help people."

"There are a lot of ways to help people," he pointed out. "Don't overlook this gift you have in that. You saved my life, Gabe. I'm grateful for that."

"Yeah, but…" She shook her head.

"Peggy said I should ask about your parents."

"I scare them. Because I know things."

"Oh," he said softly. That must have been so hard for her.

"Growing up, I had to hide who I really was. Not just this… gift of yours. I was too smart, too curious, too adventurous. I had to pretend to be this person, this stranger…"

Declan nodded slowly. "That must have been so hard for you, but…"

"It's time to make a decision." She nodded. "I know that. Peg and I had a long talk this morning."

"That's good." Declan nodded. "Gabe, honey, your web of lies does not agree with you. Give being the real you a shot, see how it agrees with you."

"I'm honestly not even sure if I remember her." Gabe sighed.

"She's there, just waiting to be rediscovered. Consider it, Gabe."

She nodded. "I'm… not going to be in class on Monday…"

Declan smiled and pulled more papers out of the folder in his hand. "Here are the class notes and the homework. I can bring your books later, if you want."

"That's okay. My friend Bill already brought them by." She nodded towards a stack of books on the windowsill. "Thank you, though."

"Look, Gabe, when you're out of here, when you've made that decision, let's get another cup of coffee and talk about things."

She smiled. "I'd like that, Professor."

"I'll visit tomorrow if you want," he offered.

"Can you bring Mole?"

He smiled and nodded. "I'll see if I can get the administrators to bend the rules. See you soon, Gabe."