Pairing: R/T, of course
Rating: PG-13 at the most
Spoilers: May reference anything and everything from Seasons 1 & 2, although most things from the Season 2 timeframe will deviate from canon
Disclaimer: The characters referenced here are the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Warner Brothers Television. No copyright infringement is intended. The characters are being used solely for entertainment purposes, and no profit is being made from them.
Author's note: Again, I apologize for the significant delay in getting this part out. The only reason it got done now is because I've been home sick for the last day and a half. Life, as usual, has been crazy. Plus, this part is much more dialogue-intensive than I normally write, which makes it harder for me. In addition, I am introducing the character of Jess in this part. I can't remember the date of Milo Ventimiglia's original airdate, but this story is set in October 2001, so he hasn't been around long.
Unbreakable Heart
by Grace
Part 8: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Light Dean on Fire
"Need coffee. Must…have…coffee," moaned Lorelai, making her entrance at Luke's more dramatic than normal.
Jess glanced up from the magazine he had been paging through. "For here or to go?" he inquired blandly.
Lorelai's face split into an ecstatic grin. Although she was looking forward to more kissy-face time with Luke, Jess didn't argue while dispensing the nectar of the gods, which made him, well, a god. "One for here and one to go."
He cracked a small smile as he poured her first mug. "I don't even know why I asked."
Expression reverent, Lorelai inhaled the heavenly aroma wafting up from the steaming brew. "To you I bequeath my firstborn."
His eyebrow quirked with interest. "So does that mean I get Rory?"
"Get Rory for what?" asked the girl in question.
Jess looked up and Lorelai spun on her stool to see Rory and Tristan entering the diner. "Nothing much," smirked the dark-haired boy. "Your mother just offered you up as a sacrificial lamb on the altar of Jess in exchange for two cups of coffee."
"Only two?" scoffed Rory. "Frankly, I think I'm worth at least an entire pot."
Leaning forward and resting his elbows on the counter, he replied, "I'm open to counter-offers."
Tristan, who had been watching the scenario play out with amusement—and a slight twinge of jealousy—fully expected Rory to blush at that comment. To his surprise, she simply laughed and took a seat next to her mother.
"Fine. Then I offer you the counter."
"Touché. Coffee?"
She shot him a "duh" look, and he turned his attention to Tristan. "So are you a fellow addict?"
"I'm nowhere in their league, but I could use the caffeine."
Within moments, Jess was handing mugs to Rory and Tristan. "I'm Jess, by the way."
Transferring his coffee to his left hand, Tristan held out his right. "Tristan."
Accepting the handshake, Jess commented, "I take it you go to school with Rory?"
Tristan glanced down at his Chilton uniform. "Gee, whatever gave it away?"
Completely straight-faced, Jess said, "The shoes, of course."
Tristan grinned. The guy was a smart-ass, no doubt about that. Still, Jess reminded him of someone… It took a moment before the realization dawned—it was like looking at a dark-haired, dark-eyed reflection of himself.
His musings were interrupted by Lorelai. "So which circle of Hell did you two get to navigate today?"
Rory groaned and allowed her head to thud down onto the counter. "The Paris circle," she mumbled into the Formica.
"What's wrong with Paris? I hear it's lovely in the spring," joked Jess.
She lifted her head just high enough to shoot him a baleful glare. "Not Paris the city, Paris the editor of The Franklin who hates me."
Jess was incredulous. "You actually know someone named Paris? I thought that only happened in overrated Shakespearean tragedies."
"Trust me, Paris Gellar is no fictional character," interjected Tristan. "In keeping with the Romeo and Juliet theme, though, there is a definite blood feud between her and Rory."
"Two things," said Jess, holding up the appropriate number of fingers. "First, kudos on finally finding a literate boyfriend. I'm pretty sure His Floppy Haired-ness missed a recent Curious George reference. Second, blood feuds always have a reason behind them, no matter how stupid. What's the story?"
Having been silent for a good five minutes, Lorelai was ready to explode. She began waving her hand frantically in the air. "Pick me, pick me! I know, I know!"
"Take it away, mom."
"It's a simple, age-old story, really. Girl meets boy. Boy meets other girl with fewer psychotic tendencies. Sane girl ditches grocery-bagging boy with stalker-like tendencies. Sane girl and non-produce-oriented boy hook up. Psychotic girl snaps."
"Did you follow that, or do you need a Lorelai-to-English translation?" asked Rory.
"I think I got the general gist, thanks."
"So any advice, O sage one?"
"Sure, it's simple. Find her a new guy to fixate on."
"Easy for you to say," Rory scoffed. "Where am I going to find an intelligent, attractive guy who's smart enough to pique her interest and tough enough to put up with her crap…" She trailed off, a wicked sparkle beginning to gleam in her eyes.
Luke chose that moment to come out of the storeroom. "A word of advice, Jess—say no to whatever she asks you in the next thirty seconds."
Lorelai tried to scowl and grin at the same time, which just sent her face into strange contortions. "Watch it, mister, or you'll be hit with the Gilmore gypsy curse."
He bent over the counter and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I have no plans to be a vampire with a soul, thank you very much."
The three teenagers gaped at him. "Since when do you watch Angel?" giggled Rory.
"Not the point," groaned Luke.
"Then what is the point, Uncle Luke?"
"The point, as you will soon learn, is that when a Gilmore girl gets that look in her eyes, it can only mean trouble."
"Okay, I'll bite. What were you thinking just now, Rory?" inquired Tristan.
She spun slowly on her stool, completing a 360° rotation before speaking. "I was thinking that Paris and Jess might be perfect for each other."
While Luke and Jess stared at her, Tristan and Lorelai burst out laughing. "Rory, do you by any chance remember what happened the last time you tried to play matchmaker for Paris?" asked Tristan between chuckles.
She swatted him playfully. "I'm sure Jess would at least have enough sense not to tell her that!"
Jess waved his hand in front of their faces. "Hi, I'm still here. And, despite the fact that it might trigger the apocalypse, I'm going to listen to Uncle Luke and say no."
"Smart boy," grumbled Luke.
"Oh, come on, Jess, won't you at least meet her?" pleaded Rory.
"No. Trust me, Rory, rebellious bad boy meets brainy rich girl is not a match made in teen-movie heaven."
"Sure it is!" yelled Lorelai. "Didn't you ever see The Breakfast…"
She was cut off when Luke clamped a hand over her mouth. Within seconds, he let out a yelp. "You bit me!"
"You cut me off while I was talking about John Hughes!"
"So?"
"So?! That's it, buster! We're having a John Hughes movie marathon this weekend—Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful, Ferris Bueller's Day Off…"
This time, Luke used a different tactic to shut her up—he pulled her into a searing kiss. Rory rolled her eyes heavenward and mumbled, "Good grief." The three non-kissing people refocused on the topic at hand.
"Even if I did agree to your plan—which I'm not—when would Paris and I even meet?" queried Jess.
"Oh, I'll think of something! Thanks, Jess!" Rory grabbed Tristan by the hand and pulled him out of the diner.
"Why do I get the feeling I just agreed to something?" asked Jess.
Luke broke away from Lorelai, and said, "She's a Gilmore. That's what they do."
* * *
No sooner had Rory and Tristan gotten outside when they ran into a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk.
"Dean. Hi."
Her ex-boyfriend glared down at them. "Well that sure didn't take long. No wonder it was so easy for you to break up with me—you had him waiting in the wings all along."
"You know it wasn't like that…"
"Whatever, Rory. You all but admitted to me yesterday that you broke up with me to be with him."
"No, I…"
"Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that we would have broken up yesterday if it hadn't been for the accountant here?"
Rory's tone was defiant. "Maybe we wouldn't have broken up yesterday, but we would have broken up, Dean. It's not Tristan's fault that I have feelings for him. You can't force someone to feel a certain way. We broke up because it was the right thing for me to do."
A pained expression contorted Dean's features. "But what about what's right for me? I still love you."
Tears were threatening now, but she choked them back. "I'm sorry, Dean. I never meant to hurt you."
"Yeah, well, that doesn't make it hurt any less." Without another word, he turned and stalked off.
Rory felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and turned to face Tristan.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
She sniffled and nodded simultaneously. "I'll be fine. You know how it is after you end a relationship."
He flashed her a sardonic grin. "I seem to recall that's how I ended up kissing you in the first place."
She blushed. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
Tristan reached out and twined their fingers together. "Not in this lifetime. Now come on, Charles Dickens awaits."
"Far be it from me to impede your education."
"And after I'm sufficiently literate, you can plot more of your hare-brained matchmaking schemes."
"Who are you calling hare-brained, mister?"
"No one. I'm calling your schemes hare-brained."
"Gee, that's so much better."
"Aw, you know you find me irresistible."
"Black holes are irresistible too, you know. That doesn't mean they're good things."
"So now I'm a black hole?"
"Your words, not mine," she giggled, and dashed off in the direction of her house.
"You're not getting away that easily, Mary!" he yelled, and took off in hot pursuit.
To be continued…