Ok, this is just a silly little thing I came up with for the FredandGeorge mailing list ^_^ There is some slight slash and twincest happenin. As always, these people are not mine. So, sit back and try to enjoy ^_^
Frederella
Ron: *walks out in a dark, stone gray suit, blood red tie and black leather shoes. He bows* Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight, we are pleased to bring you...Cinderella!
Fred: *sneaks onto the stage and whispers in Ron's ear, then sneaks off again*
Ron: Correction. We are pleased to bring you.../Fred/erella! *walks off as the audience applauds, the curtain opening as soon as he's disappeard*
Fred: *in a ripped brown dress, complete with a tattered white apron and white tights that had a run from his ankle to his thigh, on the right leg. he sweeps the floor with a very old looking broom and sighs* This bites. I'd rather be pranking people. *calls over his shoulder to backstage* How come /I/ have to clean up everything??
Draco: *from backstage, in a high pitced voice* Because I /said/ so! Now shut up and get back to work!
Fred: *in a sarcastic mocking tone* Because I said so. Blah blah blah blah blah... *mutters* Well screw you. *goes back to cleaning*
*two figures enter from stage right, one taller than the other*
Mcgonagall: Frederella, aren't you done /yet/? You should have been done /hours/ ago!
Fred: But the room is HUGE, Stepmum. How can I finish it in an hour?
Hermoine: *flips hair over her shoulder hautlly* ANYbody can do it in an hour, stupid.
Fred: Ok...*holds out broom to her* YOU do it then.
Hermoine: *small gasp* MUMMY!
Mcgonagall: Frederella, how /dare/ you tell my poor delicate daughter to sweep the floor! *grabs broom from him* Now go to th- *gets cut off as a door bell sounds* Go answer the door.
Fred: *hangs head slightly* Yes, Stepmum. *turns to leave and gets swatted on the bum with the broom* eep! *quickly leaves*
*door bell sounds again, this time a tad impatiently. If that could be said about doorbells, that is*
Fred: I'M /COMING/! KEEP YOUR KNICKERS ON! *finally gets to the door and opens it* Yes?
Percy: *in royalish, muted blues and golds, holding a finely stitched bag that matched his clothing. he clears his throat* I've come on important business for the king.
Fred: Yeah, ok. Whatcha got in the bag? *tries to look in, curious*
Percy: *holds it away from him, then reaches in and brings out an envelope* Here. *Fred takes it* Good day, Madam. *bows head slightly and is off*
Fred: *shuts door, blinking* Well...that was odd... *shrugs it off and starts to open the envelope.*
Draco: *saunters over to him and peers over his shoulder. in same high pitched voice* Well, well, well...what have we here?
Fred: YAA! *jumps, accidently tossing the envelope into the air, and spins around* DRACO!
Draco: The one and only, dear "sister". *smirks as Fred catches sight of the envelope* Let's just see what you've been looking at, shall we? *as Fred had already opened the envelope, he takes out the folded letter and flips it open. eyes get wide as he reads* MOTHER, HERMOINE! COME LOOK AT THIS!!!! *rereading it as the two rush in to the room*
Hermoine: What is it Draco??
Draco: *hands letter to Mcgonagall* Take a look.
Mcgonagall: *reads letter out loud* 'His Majesty, King Sirius, and his wife, Queen Lupin, hereby cordially invite you our son's Find Me a Wife ball. Please bring any eligible young ladies you have laying around. Thank you.' Well, how about that! *gets envelope from Draco and, after refolding the letter, stuffs it back in*
Hermoine: Wow! A ball! *squeels with glee* I might just get to be a princess!!!
Draco: No way! /I/ get to be the princess!!
Fred: What about me? *the three turn to look at him* I'm eligible, too. Or did you all forget that?
Hermoine: *gasps* You can't go! Mummy, tell her she can't go! *turns to Mcgonagall with wide, watery puppy dog eyes*
Draco: Yeah, Mother. She's spoil EVERYTHING!
Mcgonagall: *holds up a hand to stop any further protests* Who said I was going to let her go, anyway? *smiles evilly at Fred* She has /way/ too many chores to be galavanting at a boring old ball. Don't you dear?
Fred: What if I finish them on time?
Hermoine+Draco: *bust up laughing*
Mcgonagall: No. Now help us get ready.
Fred: *sighs* Yes, Stepmum. *follows the three to their rooms*
*curtain closes on the three as the scene ends and the aduience applauds*
Ron: *walks back on stage* We will now be having a fifteen minute intermission. Please use this time to get any snacks and take any necesary bathroom breaks. Thank you. *walks back off as audience talk amongst themselves, get snacks etc.*
*Backstage*
Draco: Ugh! Who's the wise ass that put me in THIS part?!
Hermoine: Do calm down, Draco. It's painfully obvious if you'd just take the time to think about it.
Draco: *snorts* Well, one doesn't need to figure out why YOU got this part.
Hermoine: Hey!
Percy: *to Ron* Do you think my performace was acceptable?
Ron: *rolls eyes* Percy....there's no way you COULD have messed up. That part was /written/ for you!
Percy: You think so?
Ron: I know so.
Snape: *is pacing back and forth, glaring hatfully at the prop in his hand*
George: *walks up to him and slaps an arm around his shoulder* Hey, Snapester. You enjoying the play so far?
Snape: *glares* No. I am NOT enjoying the play so far, Mr. Weasley. And do you know /why/?
George: Tights ride up on ya?
Snape: NO! I have to wear this..this...this COSTUME! *tugs at what he's wearing*
George: *tries, but fails to surpress a grin* Aww it's not so bad!
Ron: *checks watch* PLACES EVERYONE! *watches everyone run for their spot, then walks out onto the stage* Ladies and Gentlemen, the second half. *walks off as curtain rises*
*Mcgonagall, Hermoine and Draco, all decked out in poofy dresses of deep red and gold, rose red, and green and silver (respectively), standing by the door. Fred is a few feet behind them*
Mcgonagall: *turns to Fred* Now rememer, Frederella. All chores MUST be done by the time we get home. Or you'll be going on a one way trip inside the oven.
Fred: *whispers* That's not in the script. *Mcgonagall shrugs so Fred continues with his lines* Yes, Stepmum.
Hermoine: And you better not get into my clothes. You know how I HATE it when you wear my clothes.
Draco: And likewise don't you get into my *hides a slight wince as he says* pretty pretty Barbie collection. I've been working on it for years!
Fred: I wouldn't DREAM of it. *holds a hand up boyscout style*
Mcgonagall: Good. Then we're off. *ushers her two daughters out the door and into the waiting coach*
Fred: Great. NOW what am I supposed to do?? I don't want to spend the rest of my life cleaning chamber pots! *sulks over to the kitchen*
*cloud of smoke and a /POP/ stops him in his tracks*
Fred: *coughing* W-what the?!
Snape: *appears after the smoke subsides, wearing a baby pink leotard and tutu, white tights and white wings decorated with silver swirls, holding a silver wand topped with a gold sequined baby pink star. He looks /less/ than pleased**mutters darkly under his breath before adopting a frightenly surgary sweet expression and a high pitched voice* Hello deary!
Fred: *blinks in shock (mostly from not having seen Snape in his costume before now)* W-who are YOU?
Snape: /I/ am your fairy Godmother, child. *curtisies, which almosts sends Fred sailing past his restraint into laughter*
Fred: Er...Fairy Godmum, are you here to help me with my chores?
Snape: And mess up my brand new manicure?! You're on your own, pal! *ahem* No, dear girl. I am here to send you to the ball. *smiles sweetly*
Fred: *gasps in delight* YOU MEAN IT?!
Snape: *regresses into his usual voice* No, I'm funnin' you, stupid *coughs and adopts high voice again* Er, I mean..Yes deary. I truely mean it. *nervous girly laughter*
Fred: THANK YOU! *thows arms around Snape's neck, nearly knocking the man over*
Snape: Yes, yes, you're welcome. Now stop it you're bending my wings.
Fred: Sorry. *lets go and grins at Snape, who's fixing his wings*
Snape: Now then, all I need are some mice and a pumpkin.
Fred: Mice and a pumpkin? Where am I going to get-- OH! I'll be right back! *races off to get the aforementioned items. Returns a moment later with a cage in one hand and a pumpkin under the other arm* Here they are, Fairy Godmum!
Snape: Thank you deary. Now place them on the floor and stand back. *Fred does so, Snape waves his wand and with a POOOOOF, where the pumpkin had been was a very intrictely detailed golden coach and the mouse was now an old, balding geezer in Noble threads* How's THAT for some magic!
Fred: Oooooooo.... *dashes around the coach and geezer in delight*
Snape: Hurry up and get in, girl, or you'll be late.
Fred: *was about to step in when he realized* Wait a minute! I can't go wearing /this/! I'd be the laughing stock!
Snape: *gets a load of what Fred's wearing* Oh, er...yes, that would definately be a royal no no. *waves wand again and Fred is now wearing a beautiful poofy red-wine colored dress, complete with matching earings, lipstick and a diamond tiara. On his feet were some dainty glass stiletto heels* Now off you go.
Fred: Thanks Fairy Godmum! *boards the coach and lets the man shut the door*
*coach is driven away, manully by the old geezer (as there was only one mouse, there would either be one horse and no driver, or a driver but no horse)*
*At the ball, already going on*
Sirius: *lounging on his throne, eyes sweeping over the many girls present* Do you think he'll find a girl, tonight, Lupsie?
Remus: *also watching all the people* Of course, dear. And if not, the ball won't end until he does.
Sirius: Yes. I won't have him pulling pranks on anyone anymore. *sighs* The poor kitchen maid found a tack on her chair the other day. Screamed bloody murder, too.
Remus: *nods in agreement*
*Other side of the dance floor*
Hermoine: *dancing with George* You know, this is the best moment of my life. *smiles at him* The way you dance is simply devine. Did you know that?
George: Oh noooooo, you've only told me five times already. *dips her, wanting to drop her, but doesn't as his parents are watching*
Hermoine: *giggles, not seeming to hear what he said* You're so dashing, You're Highness.
George: *mutters* Great...
Draco: *on their next spin past him, he pushes Hermoine out of the way and takes her place* Hello, You're Highness. *smiles sweetly*
George: Hello...again. Shouldn't you give the other girls a chance?
Draco: But, /Darling/, we were MEANT to be together! Can't you see that? *gives him puppy eyes*
George: *smiles back weakly, silently wishing this would end soon*
*Fanfair sounds and everyone turns to stare at Fred on top of a staircase*
Fred: *looks about nervously, takes a deep breath and descends stairs*
George: *so taken by Fred's beauty, unconcsiously drops Draco on the floor and heads over to Fred. Bows to him and takes his hand* Why...hello, Miss.
Fred: *blushs, curtsying* Hello to you, too, Sir.
George: Care to dance?
Fred: I thought you'd never ask. *the two start a sweeping waltz, while the rest of the dancers make a circle for them to dance in*
Sirius: *watches the two* Look, Dear, George finally seems to be having fun.
Remus: Great! Let's get the royal minister and marry the two before she gets away.
Sirius: Great idea, Love. *sends for the minister and soon Snape appears wearing the royal black costume of a misister*
Snape: *waits patiently for the dance to end* Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please? *everyone stops and looks at him* Thank you. Now then, we would like for young Prince George and his current dance partner to step forward, please.
George: *exchanges a look with Fred, who just shrugs and both approach Snape*
Fred: What's going on?
Snape: You're Highness, do you?
George: *blinks, then realizes what's happening* Yes!
Snape: Young Lady, do you?
Fred: *takes him a bit longer, but with a nudge from George says* Yeah sure, why not?
Snape: Great, you're married, go screw or something. *turns and leaves*
Fred: *extremely happy* Oh George!
George: Oh Fred! *both hug and immediately being snogging their brains out*
Hermoine: *watches, disgusted*
Draco: No faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!!!!! *has a tantrum on the floor*
Mcgonagall: *kicks him* Get up. You're embarrassing me!
Fred+George: *face the audience* And we lived happily ever after!
*curtain closes, audience applauds (some give a standing ovation), curtain reopens and everyone gives a bow to the audience*
Ron: *walks to stage center after the second round of bowing and bows himself* Thank you for watching Ladies and Gentlemen. The cast will gladly give out autographs in the lobby. And remember, you can always pick up a photo of your favorite actor or actress, in costume, also in the lobby. The photos move, so you can enjoy for as long as you'd like. *grins* Goodnight everybody!
*everyone mills out into the lobby, where the cast had already collected as Ron was speaking*
Frederella
Ron: *walks out in a dark, stone gray suit, blood red tie and black leather shoes. He bows* Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight, we are pleased to bring you...Cinderella!
Fred: *sneaks onto the stage and whispers in Ron's ear, then sneaks off again*
Ron: Correction. We are pleased to bring you.../Fred/erella! *walks off as the audience applauds, the curtain opening as soon as he's disappeard*
Fred: *in a ripped brown dress, complete with a tattered white apron and white tights that had a run from his ankle to his thigh, on the right leg. he sweeps the floor with a very old looking broom and sighs* This bites. I'd rather be pranking people. *calls over his shoulder to backstage* How come /I/ have to clean up everything??
Draco: *from backstage, in a high pitced voice* Because I /said/ so! Now shut up and get back to work!
Fred: *in a sarcastic mocking tone* Because I said so. Blah blah blah blah blah... *mutters* Well screw you. *goes back to cleaning*
*two figures enter from stage right, one taller than the other*
Mcgonagall: Frederella, aren't you done /yet/? You should have been done /hours/ ago!
Fred: But the room is HUGE, Stepmum. How can I finish it in an hour?
Hermoine: *flips hair over her shoulder hautlly* ANYbody can do it in an hour, stupid.
Fred: Ok...*holds out broom to her* YOU do it then.
Hermoine: *small gasp* MUMMY!
Mcgonagall: Frederella, how /dare/ you tell my poor delicate daughter to sweep the floor! *grabs broom from him* Now go to th- *gets cut off as a door bell sounds* Go answer the door.
Fred: *hangs head slightly* Yes, Stepmum. *turns to leave and gets swatted on the bum with the broom* eep! *quickly leaves*
*door bell sounds again, this time a tad impatiently. If that could be said about doorbells, that is*
Fred: I'M /COMING/! KEEP YOUR KNICKERS ON! *finally gets to the door and opens it* Yes?
Percy: *in royalish, muted blues and golds, holding a finely stitched bag that matched his clothing. he clears his throat* I've come on important business for the king.
Fred: Yeah, ok. Whatcha got in the bag? *tries to look in, curious*
Percy: *holds it away from him, then reaches in and brings out an envelope* Here. *Fred takes it* Good day, Madam. *bows head slightly and is off*
Fred: *shuts door, blinking* Well...that was odd... *shrugs it off and starts to open the envelope.*
Draco: *saunters over to him and peers over his shoulder. in same high pitched voice* Well, well, well...what have we here?
Fred: YAA! *jumps, accidently tossing the envelope into the air, and spins around* DRACO!
Draco: The one and only, dear "sister". *smirks as Fred catches sight of the envelope* Let's just see what you've been looking at, shall we? *as Fred had already opened the envelope, he takes out the folded letter and flips it open. eyes get wide as he reads* MOTHER, HERMOINE! COME LOOK AT THIS!!!! *rereading it as the two rush in to the room*
Hermoine: What is it Draco??
Draco: *hands letter to Mcgonagall* Take a look.
Mcgonagall: *reads letter out loud* 'His Majesty, King Sirius, and his wife, Queen Lupin, hereby cordially invite you our son's Find Me a Wife ball. Please bring any eligible young ladies you have laying around. Thank you.' Well, how about that! *gets envelope from Draco and, after refolding the letter, stuffs it back in*
Hermoine: Wow! A ball! *squeels with glee* I might just get to be a princess!!!
Draco: No way! /I/ get to be the princess!!
Fred: What about me? *the three turn to look at him* I'm eligible, too. Or did you all forget that?
Hermoine: *gasps* You can't go! Mummy, tell her she can't go! *turns to Mcgonagall with wide, watery puppy dog eyes*
Draco: Yeah, Mother. She's spoil EVERYTHING!
Mcgonagall: *holds up a hand to stop any further protests* Who said I was going to let her go, anyway? *smiles evilly at Fred* She has /way/ too many chores to be galavanting at a boring old ball. Don't you dear?
Fred: What if I finish them on time?
Hermoine+Draco: *bust up laughing*
Mcgonagall: No. Now help us get ready.
Fred: *sighs* Yes, Stepmum. *follows the three to their rooms*
*curtain closes on the three as the scene ends and the aduience applauds*
Ron: *walks back on stage* We will now be having a fifteen minute intermission. Please use this time to get any snacks and take any necesary bathroom breaks. Thank you. *walks back off as audience talk amongst themselves, get snacks etc.*
*Backstage*
Draco: Ugh! Who's the wise ass that put me in THIS part?!
Hermoine: Do calm down, Draco. It's painfully obvious if you'd just take the time to think about it.
Draco: *snorts* Well, one doesn't need to figure out why YOU got this part.
Hermoine: Hey!
Percy: *to Ron* Do you think my performace was acceptable?
Ron: *rolls eyes* Percy....there's no way you COULD have messed up. That part was /written/ for you!
Percy: You think so?
Ron: I know so.
Snape: *is pacing back and forth, glaring hatfully at the prop in his hand*
George: *walks up to him and slaps an arm around his shoulder* Hey, Snapester. You enjoying the play so far?
Snape: *glares* No. I am NOT enjoying the play so far, Mr. Weasley. And do you know /why/?
George: Tights ride up on ya?
Snape: NO! I have to wear this..this...this COSTUME! *tugs at what he's wearing*
George: *tries, but fails to surpress a grin* Aww it's not so bad!
Ron: *checks watch* PLACES EVERYONE! *watches everyone run for their spot, then walks out onto the stage* Ladies and Gentlemen, the second half. *walks off as curtain rises*
*Mcgonagall, Hermoine and Draco, all decked out in poofy dresses of deep red and gold, rose red, and green and silver (respectively), standing by the door. Fred is a few feet behind them*
Mcgonagall: *turns to Fred* Now rememer, Frederella. All chores MUST be done by the time we get home. Or you'll be going on a one way trip inside the oven.
Fred: *whispers* That's not in the script. *Mcgonagall shrugs so Fred continues with his lines* Yes, Stepmum.
Hermoine: And you better not get into my clothes. You know how I HATE it when you wear my clothes.
Draco: And likewise don't you get into my *hides a slight wince as he says* pretty pretty Barbie collection. I've been working on it for years!
Fred: I wouldn't DREAM of it. *holds a hand up boyscout style*
Mcgonagall: Good. Then we're off. *ushers her two daughters out the door and into the waiting coach*
Fred: Great. NOW what am I supposed to do?? I don't want to spend the rest of my life cleaning chamber pots! *sulks over to the kitchen*
*cloud of smoke and a /POP/ stops him in his tracks*
Fred: *coughing* W-what the?!
Snape: *appears after the smoke subsides, wearing a baby pink leotard and tutu, white tights and white wings decorated with silver swirls, holding a silver wand topped with a gold sequined baby pink star. He looks /less/ than pleased**mutters darkly under his breath before adopting a frightenly surgary sweet expression and a high pitched voice* Hello deary!
Fred: *blinks in shock (mostly from not having seen Snape in his costume before now)* W-who are YOU?
Snape: /I/ am your fairy Godmother, child. *curtisies, which almosts sends Fred sailing past his restraint into laughter*
Fred: Er...Fairy Godmum, are you here to help me with my chores?
Snape: And mess up my brand new manicure?! You're on your own, pal! *ahem* No, dear girl. I am here to send you to the ball. *smiles sweetly*
Fred: *gasps in delight* YOU MEAN IT?!
Snape: *regresses into his usual voice* No, I'm funnin' you, stupid *coughs and adopts high voice again* Er, I mean..Yes deary. I truely mean it. *nervous girly laughter*
Fred: THANK YOU! *thows arms around Snape's neck, nearly knocking the man over*
Snape: Yes, yes, you're welcome. Now stop it you're bending my wings.
Fred: Sorry. *lets go and grins at Snape, who's fixing his wings*
Snape: Now then, all I need are some mice and a pumpkin.
Fred: Mice and a pumpkin? Where am I going to get-- OH! I'll be right back! *races off to get the aforementioned items. Returns a moment later with a cage in one hand and a pumpkin under the other arm* Here they are, Fairy Godmum!
Snape: Thank you deary. Now place them on the floor and stand back. *Fred does so, Snape waves his wand and with a POOOOOF, where the pumpkin had been was a very intrictely detailed golden coach and the mouse was now an old, balding geezer in Noble threads* How's THAT for some magic!
Fred: Oooooooo.... *dashes around the coach and geezer in delight*
Snape: Hurry up and get in, girl, or you'll be late.
Fred: *was about to step in when he realized* Wait a minute! I can't go wearing /this/! I'd be the laughing stock!
Snape: *gets a load of what Fred's wearing* Oh, er...yes, that would definately be a royal no no. *waves wand again and Fred is now wearing a beautiful poofy red-wine colored dress, complete with matching earings, lipstick and a diamond tiara. On his feet were some dainty glass stiletto heels* Now off you go.
Fred: Thanks Fairy Godmum! *boards the coach and lets the man shut the door*
*coach is driven away, manully by the old geezer (as there was only one mouse, there would either be one horse and no driver, or a driver but no horse)*
*At the ball, already going on*
Sirius: *lounging on his throne, eyes sweeping over the many girls present* Do you think he'll find a girl, tonight, Lupsie?
Remus: *also watching all the people* Of course, dear. And if not, the ball won't end until he does.
Sirius: Yes. I won't have him pulling pranks on anyone anymore. *sighs* The poor kitchen maid found a tack on her chair the other day. Screamed bloody murder, too.
Remus: *nods in agreement*
*Other side of the dance floor*
Hermoine: *dancing with George* You know, this is the best moment of my life. *smiles at him* The way you dance is simply devine. Did you know that?
George: Oh noooooo, you've only told me five times already. *dips her, wanting to drop her, but doesn't as his parents are watching*
Hermoine: *giggles, not seeming to hear what he said* You're so dashing, You're Highness.
George: *mutters* Great...
Draco: *on their next spin past him, he pushes Hermoine out of the way and takes her place* Hello, You're Highness. *smiles sweetly*
George: Hello...again. Shouldn't you give the other girls a chance?
Draco: But, /Darling/, we were MEANT to be together! Can't you see that? *gives him puppy eyes*
George: *smiles back weakly, silently wishing this would end soon*
*Fanfair sounds and everyone turns to stare at Fred on top of a staircase*
Fred: *looks about nervously, takes a deep breath and descends stairs*
George: *so taken by Fred's beauty, unconcsiously drops Draco on the floor and heads over to Fred. Bows to him and takes his hand* Why...hello, Miss.
Fred: *blushs, curtsying* Hello to you, too, Sir.
George: Care to dance?
Fred: I thought you'd never ask. *the two start a sweeping waltz, while the rest of the dancers make a circle for them to dance in*
Sirius: *watches the two* Look, Dear, George finally seems to be having fun.
Remus: Great! Let's get the royal minister and marry the two before she gets away.
Sirius: Great idea, Love. *sends for the minister and soon Snape appears wearing the royal black costume of a misister*
Snape: *waits patiently for the dance to end* Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please? *everyone stops and looks at him* Thank you. Now then, we would like for young Prince George and his current dance partner to step forward, please.
George: *exchanges a look with Fred, who just shrugs and both approach Snape*
Fred: What's going on?
Snape: You're Highness, do you?
George: *blinks, then realizes what's happening* Yes!
Snape: Young Lady, do you?
Fred: *takes him a bit longer, but with a nudge from George says* Yeah sure, why not?
Snape: Great, you're married, go screw or something. *turns and leaves*
Fred: *extremely happy* Oh George!
George: Oh Fred! *both hug and immediately being snogging their brains out*
Hermoine: *watches, disgusted*
Draco: No faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!!!!! *has a tantrum on the floor*
Mcgonagall: *kicks him* Get up. You're embarrassing me!
Fred+George: *face the audience* And we lived happily ever after!
*curtain closes, audience applauds (some give a standing ovation), curtain reopens and everyone gives a bow to the audience*
Ron: *walks to stage center after the second round of bowing and bows himself* Thank you for watching Ladies and Gentlemen. The cast will gladly give out autographs in the lobby. And remember, you can always pick up a photo of your favorite actor or actress, in costume, also in the lobby. The photos move, so you can enjoy for as long as you'd like. *grins* Goodnight everybody!
*everyone mills out into the lobby, where the cast had already collected as Ron was speaking*