Well, it's taken a week but I've managed to finally finish this chapter.
Thanks for the reviews. I know everyone wants to know what has happened to
Abby but bear with me. I'll get to that in the next chapter promise.
Three days later and there had been no change. Abby was still unconscious and he was still sat in that ICU by her side. Corday had managed to stop the internal bleeding but it was the head injuries. He just kept getting told that it was a waiting game; he hated how patronising that sounded. Once the swelling went down though, she'd wake up; that's what he kept telling himself. That's what he needed to believe to keep him going. Weaver had told him to take as much time off as he needed; if she hadn't, he would probably have quit. He couldn't stand to see Abby like this; so helpless and vulnerable. He'd hardly left though. When he did leave though, he knew that she was rarely alone. The other nurses from the ER were always calling in. It seemed that Susan came up to sit with her whenever she had a break. And then there was Luka. He never turned up when Carter was there though. Carter had gone home the day before to shower and when he had returned he'd seen Luka. Instead of going in himself though, he'd left Luka there and grabbed a coffee, waiting till Kovac had gone back to work. He owed the other doctor an apology but it could wait. Everyone who saw him at the hospital kept telling him how well he seemed to be coping; that they wouldn't be able to handle it so well; how they hadn't seen him break down. He just wanted to scream at them. Of course he wasn't coping. He was a wreck. He broke down, just not at the hospital, but whenever he was alone. And now as he gave in to Susan's request he go home and get some rest, he knew that he would not be able to sleep. Instead turning the lights off, he just lay awake and thought. He tried to focus on the future, but his mind kept returning to the past.
Then:
"Hey"
Carter stretched before turning onto his side to look at her. "Hey"
The last twenty-four hours still didn't feel like reality. Once the situation with the smallpox had been brought under control, they had gone across to Doc McGoo's and just sat and talked over coffee. Then after taking a walk along the river, they had ended up at their bench. The two of them had just sat there for a while, holding hands, neither wanting to break the silence. When she had asked him to go back to hers, he had considered turning her down, but the look in her eyes told him that she wanted this; needed this. So did he.
And now, as he lay in her bed, he knew that it had been the right decision. "How long you been awake?" he asked.
"A while." She smiled. "You're really cute when you're asleep."
"I'm not when I'm awake?" he grinned.
"I'm not saying anything else. Your ego's big enough as it is!"
"Then can I just say that you're the most amazing woman I've ever met."
"No, coz it sounds like a line from some cheesy romance film."
Laughing, Carter rolled over onto his back. "Maybe. Doesn't mean it's not true though"
Abby moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He put one arm around her to hold her gently and with his other took hold of her hand. There was that silence again; with anyone else it would be a sign of tension; an uncomfortable moment; but not for them. "Last night." she began. When Abby trailed off, Carter just waited. Carter had known her for long enough to know that when Abby had something to say she would say it. He knew when not to push, when to just leave her to think. "Last night was the most.it was so.it was."
She lifted her head up to look at him. When she didn't even try to go on, he simply told her "I know exactly what you mean! It was!" He kissed her gently on the forehead and then just held her, wishing that they could stay like that forever.
Unfortunately they still had work to go to. He couldn't believe that they were expected to go back in straight away, but Weaver had insisted, saying that they still had patients to treat.
They'd walked to work together, holding hands. When they reached the ambulance bay, Abby had stopped, looking uneasy.
"What's wrong?"
"Do we tell people?"
"Do you want to?"
"I dunno. Do you want to?"
"Do you?"
"Aren't I the one asking you?"
"But do you want people to know?"
"Carter, stop it!" Abby let go of his hand now. "Answer another question with a question and I'll be changing my mind about the whole thing."
"Really?"
She glared at him now.
"Ok. No more questions! Promise!" He glanced at his watch. "But unless, we make a decision in the next ten seconds, we'll be late and then we get to deal with a pissed off Weaver."
Abby glanced around at nothing in particular. "Then we don't make a big thing out of it, but we don't try to hide it either."
"Fair enough!"
It seemed like people were avoiding the hospital so the shift seemed to really drag, especially as all he wanted to do was be with Abby. They'd managed to steal a few moments together during the day but Weaver kept finding things for them to do. She had told everyone that if they had no patients to see they were to catch up on paperwork which he had a tonne of.
Once his shift was over, Carter was waiting in the lounge for Abby to finish with a patient when Susan caught up to him. She'd been trying to corner him all day but he had so far managed to avoid her. Until now anyway.
"Hey Carter"
"Hey"
"I thought you were off?"
"I am!"
"Any reason why you're still here then?" she asked, a mischievous grin on her face.
"No!" he lied. He could tell that she already knew about him and Abby, but he was not easily going to give in and tell her all the details.
"No? So not waiting for a certain nurse that you left with last night and arrived with this morning?"
"You got me! I just couldn't resist Haleh's charms any longer!"
They both laughed. Susan joined him at the table. "No. Seriously though, is it true?"
"Maybe"
"I'll take that as a yes!"
"Take it however you want!"
The door suddenly opened and Abby entered. She paused for a second when she saw Susan. Carter shot her a glance that told her their friend knew.
Noticing the look that the other two shared, Susan remarked "I'll take that as a definite yes! Hey Abby!"
"Hey!" Abby turned to Carter. "You ready?"
"Sure!"
Susan couldn't help but smile as she watched them leave together.
"I didn't tell her!" Carter protested for about the hundredth time. Once again, they were sat on their bench. Or rather he was sat; Abby was stood, leaning against the railing. "How did she know then?"
"She just knew! And I thought that we weren't trying to keep it a secret?"
"We aren't!" Abby sighed. "I just want to know how she knew!"
"She's Susan! She just always seems to notice this stuff!"
"That right?"
"Yeah. Plus, we weren't exactly discrete. Susan said that we were seen leaving together last night. And then when we showed up at the same time this morning, people just jumped to conclusions."
Abby had begun to calm down. "Malik kept giving me strange looks all day. I bet that he's the one who started all this. It really is impossible to keep a secret in that place." She paused. "Not that I want to keep a secret."
"Nice backtrack! And what is it with Nurses and gossiping? We doctors just get on with our jobs while the nurses just stand around chatting."
"Do we now?"
"I didn't mean you of course!" he added.
"Course not!"
He stood up, and crossed over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You, my sweet beautiful Abby, are the best nurse in the whole world and would never skive off work!"
Abby laughed. "That sounded really pathetic!"
"I know. I just like seeing you smile!"
"Even if I'm laughing at you?"
"What can I say? I'm a masochist."
She laughed for a brief moment before stopping suddenly. She turned to face him. "Is this really happening?"
"I think that it might be! Yet, it still doesn't feel real. It's."
Abby cut him off. Echoing his words from that morning "I know exactly what you mean! It is!"
Now:
There had been so many moments like that in the three months that followed. And now they all filled Carter's head. They wouldn't leave him alone. And as he lay there, in the hope that falling into a dreamless sleep would dull the pain, he was determined that they would have many more moments like that.
Three days later and there had been no change. Abby was still unconscious and he was still sat in that ICU by her side. Corday had managed to stop the internal bleeding but it was the head injuries. He just kept getting told that it was a waiting game; he hated how patronising that sounded. Once the swelling went down though, she'd wake up; that's what he kept telling himself. That's what he needed to believe to keep him going. Weaver had told him to take as much time off as he needed; if she hadn't, he would probably have quit. He couldn't stand to see Abby like this; so helpless and vulnerable. He'd hardly left though. When he did leave though, he knew that she was rarely alone. The other nurses from the ER were always calling in. It seemed that Susan came up to sit with her whenever she had a break. And then there was Luka. He never turned up when Carter was there though. Carter had gone home the day before to shower and when he had returned he'd seen Luka. Instead of going in himself though, he'd left Luka there and grabbed a coffee, waiting till Kovac had gone back to work. He owed the other doctor an apology but it could wait. Everyone who saw him at the hospital kept telling him how well he seemed to be coping; that they wouldn't be able to handle it so well; how they hadn't seen him break down. He just wanted to scream at them. Of course he wasn't coping. He was a wreck. He broke down, just not at the hospital, but whenever he was alone. And now as he gave in to Susan's request he go home and get some rest, he knew that he would not be able to sleep. Instead turning the lights off, he just lay awake and thought. He tried to focus on the future, but his mind kept returning to the past.
Then:
"Hey"
Carter stretched before turning onto his side to look at her. "Hey"
The last twenty-four hours still didn't feel like reality. Once the situation with the smallpox had been brought under control, they had gone across to Doc McGoo's and just sat and talked over coffee. Then after taking a walk along the river, they had ended up at their bench. The two of them had just sat there for a while, holding hands, neither wanting to break the silence. When she had asked him to go back to hers, he had considered turning her down, but the look in her eyes told him that she wanted this; needed this. So did he.
And now, as he lay in her bed, he knew that it had been the right decision. "How long you been awake?" he asked.
"A while." She smiled. "You're really cute when you're asleep."
"I'm not when I'm awake?" he grinned.
"I'm not saying anything else. Your ego's big enough as it is!"
"Then can I just say that you're the most amazing woman I've ever met."
"No, coz it sounds like a line from some cheesy romance film."
Laughing, Carter rolled over onto his back. "Maybe. Doesn't mean it's not true though"
Abby moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He put one arm around her to hold her gently and with his other took hold of her hand. There was that silence again; with anyone else it would be a sign of tension; an uncomfortable moment; but not for them. "Last night." she began. When Abby trailed off, Carter just waited. Carter had known her for long enough to know that when Abby had something to say she would say it. He knew when not to push, when to just leave her to think. "Last night was the most.it was so.it was."
She lifted her head up to look at him. When she didn't even try to go on, he simply told her "I know exactly what you mean! It was!" He kissed her gently on the forehead and then just held her, wishing that they could stay like that forever.
Unfortunately they still had work to go to. He couldn't believe that they were expected to go back in straight away, but Weaver had insisted, saying that they still had patients to treat.
They'd walked to work together, holding hands. When they reached the ambulance bay, Abby had stopped, looking uneasy.
"What's wrong?"
"Do we tell people?"
"Do you want to?"
"I dunno. Do you want to?"
"Do you?"
"Aren't I the one asking you?"
"But do you want people to know?"
"Carter, stop it!" Abby let go of his hand now. "Answer another question with a question and I'll be changing my mind about the whole thing."
"Really?"
She glared at him now.
"Ok. No more questions! Promise!" He glanced at his watch. "But unless, we make a decision in the next ten seconds, we'll be late and then we get to deal with a pissed off Weaver."
Abby glanced around at nothing in particular. "Then we don't make a big thing out of it, but we don't try to hide it either."
"Fair enough!"
It seemed like people were avoiding the hospital so the shift seemed to really drag, especially as all he wanted to do was be with Abby. They'd managed to steal a few moments together during the day but Weaver kept finding things for them to do. She had told everyone that if they had no patients to see they were to catch up on paperwork which he had a tonne of.
Once his shift was over, Carter was waiting in the lounge for Abby to finish with a patient when Susan caught up to him. She'd been trying to corner him all day but he had so far managed to avoid her. Until now anyway.
"Hey Carter"
"Hey"
"I thought you were off?"
"I am!"
"Any reason why you're still here then?" she asked, a mischievous grin on her face.
"No!" he lied. He could tell that she already knew about him and Abby, but he was not easily going to give in and tell her all the details.
"No? So not waiting for a certain nurse that you left with last night and arrived with this morning?"
"You got me! I just couldn't resist Haleh's charms any longer!"
They both laughed. Susan joined him at the table. "No. Seriously though, is it true?"
"Maybe"
"I'll take that as a yes!"
"Take it however you want!"
The door suddenly opened and Abby entered. She paused for a second when she saw Susan. Carter shot her a glance that told her their friend knew.
Noticing the look that the other two shared, Susan remarked "I'll take that as a definite yes! Hey Abby!"
"Hey!" Abby turned to Carter. "You ready?"
"Sure!"
Susan couldn't help but smile as she watched them leave together.
"I didn't tell her!" Carter protested for about the hundredth time. Once again, they were sat on their bench. Or rather he was sat; Abby was stood, leaning against the railing. "How did she know then?"
"She just knew! And I thought that we weren't trying to keep it a secret?"
"We aren't!" Abby sighed. "I just want to know how she knew!"
"She's Susan! She just always seems to notice this stuff!"
"That right?"
"Yeah. Plus, we weren't exactly discrete. Susan said that we were seen leaving together last night. And then when we showed up at the same time this morning, people just jumped to conclusions."
Abby had begun to calm down. "Malik kept giving me strange looks all day. I bet that he's the one who started all this. It really is impossible to keep a secret in that place." She paused. "Not that I want to keep a secret."
"Nice backtrack! And what is it with Nurses and gossiping? We doctors just get on with our jobs while the nurses just stand around chatting."
"Do we now?"
"I didn't mean you of course!" he added.
"Course not!"
He stood up, and crossed over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You, my sweet beautiful Abby, are the best nurse in the whole world and would never skive off work!"
Abby laughed. "That sounded really pathetic!"
"I know. I just like seeing you smile!"
"Even if I'm laughing at you?"
"What can I say? I'm a masochist."
She laughed for a brief moment before stopping suddenly. She turned to face him. "Is this really happening?"
"I think that it might be! Yet, it still doesn't feel real. It's."
Abby cut him off. Echoing his words from that morning "I know exactly what you mean! It is!"
Now:
There had been so many moments like that in the three months that followed. And now they all filled Carter's head. They wouldn't leave him alone. And as he lay there, in the hope that falling into a dreamless sleep would dull the pain, he was determined that they would have many more moments like that.