Title~ Boxers or Briefs? (3/?)

Author~ Cristal

Email~ Talis13@y...

Rating~ PG13

Disclaimer~ All characters belong to the WWE. ;)

Distribution~ Interested in hosting this fic? Please ask permission.
^^

Group- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cristal-FanFic


Feedback~ Thank you to all of the folks who have been kind enough to
review so far!! ^^ I appreciate it and hope you continue to do so!!

Spoilers~ LOL…yeah right…oh, sorry, uh…no, not this time. :D

Notes~ Answer to Candle's Challenge. ;)

Summary~ The Women Take Charge of the WWE. ;) (oh, and YES Candle
the `Oh Oh Oh Mega Boys' phrase DOES fit into a fic ;)



"I'm jealous, you know that, right?"

"What?"

"You've already been included in one of the matches on
Smackdown!!"

"You're jealous of THAT?!?!"

"Yes! I want to participate too Matt!!! I feel left out…
do the girls not like me? Do I not have the upper body for a wet t-
shirt contest?"

Matt looked over at his younger brother with some amount
of disbelief. "You must be joking…I can't believe you're
feeling `left out'. Do you know how many of the guys want that
feeling right now? And here you are whining about it. And the women
like you just fine Jeff."

He brightened considerably. "Really?"

Matt sighed. "Yes, really."

"Oh good. Because you know, I always thought between you
and me the women liked me best anyway. So I always thought it was a
little strange if YOU got into something like this and I DIDN'T, you
know what I mean?" Jeff rambled on, happily oblivious.

"Sometimes I wonder if women even watch this stuff."

"Sure! Who did you think nine tenths of our fan base was?"

Matt stopped before sighing. Jeff played out the
intelligence angle on rare occasions: like this one. "Point."

"Well, anyway, they're going to tell us what will be
after the Wet Leather contest tonight, right? And speaking of that,
are you and Randy gonna wear leather pants out there too just to make
it even? Maybe I'll wear leather pants too: just for the hell of it.
I bet they'd like that!" Jeff smiled happily as he pulled that neon
transparent shirt over his head.

"W-…where the hell do you come up with half this stuff
Jeff?" he shook his head as Jeff pouted slightly, purple hair falling
in his eyes. He rolled his eyes. "Don't know yet. And, yes, they're
divulging yet more frightening matches before the house show tonight."

Jeff brightened again. "Oh good!! I hope I'm in one!!"

Matt sighed, yet again as they headed out of the door,
just deciding to not argue with his brother over this. He figured it
might just be a lost cause. They walked down the hallways…well, Jeff
sorta bounced down the hallway, coming to a lone room, alllllll the
way at the end. Seemed kinda quiet down there actually…

Jeff opened the door, stepping in as Matt followed him.
Both stopped, looking into a full house. A very…quiet full house.
Jeff rolled his eyes. "Geez, you guys act like you're waiting for the
grim reaper."

"Three of them, to be exact."

Jeff wrinkled his nose as he looked over at the much
larger man that he PROBABLY should have been afraid of. "You're such
a pansy for being such a big man Brock."

He shook his head. "No, I'm intelligent Hardy. I want
nothing to do with Smackdown in three days."

Jeff shrugged as he sat in the chair, looking incredibly
dwarfed by the large man he sat next to. "Same dif."

Matt rolled his eyes as he sat in the chair behind the
other two men, looking at Christian. "Jeff is WAY to excited. He
WANTS a match in this thing! He's disappointed they haven't given him
one yet!!!"

Christian looked awfully deadpan as he looked over at his
friend. "Trust me, Edge is the same way. But he has matches. He's on
the equivalent of gloating at this point. It's pathetic. And kinda…
frightening actually…"

Matt snickered. "I just think its funny how some of the
men, like the big guys that weigh upwards of three hundred pounds are
scared."

"YOU'RE not scared?"

"That's not the point."

Both men sighed, freezing as the doors opened once more.
All of the guys were here so that could only mean one thing…

"Good evening guys!!!" And that was it. Stacy, Torrie and Lita had
returned. Lita grinned as she surveyed the room. "Well, we've decided
on the next three matches."

"These actually matches this time ladies? Cause The Game is kinda
bored with Smackdown so far."

All three women looked at the speaker. One of the most respected men
in sports entertainment: Triple H. The Game. Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
And they smiled. What was funny was that the `Cerebral Assassin'
appeared to blanch under that nice tan of his at those three smiles…
almost wishing he hadn't opened his big mouth. Lita rubbed her hands
together as she smirked. "Well Hunter, you're in luck lemme tell you.
We have TWO matches tonight and you're involved in one of them!!!"

"Why am I not liking the sound of this?"

"I'm LOVING the sound of this!!! Do I get a match?!?! Please, please,
please, PLEASE?????"

Lita laughed at Jeff as he bounced in his seat, next to Brock Lesnar
who looked at the younger Hardy like he may have contracted some
otherworldly disease that he didn't want. "Why Jeff, now that you
mention it, YES, you DO get a match!!"

"YES!" he raised a fist in victory as Brock moved down a chair, still
staring.

All three women grinned as Lita straightened the paper in front of
her. "Our match after the Wet Leather contest will in fact be a legit
wrestling match."

"Aww." This came jointly from Edge and Jeff he verged
on `disappointed'.

"Fear not guys!" Lita replied happily. "You still get to loose some
clothes for what's turning into a predominantly female audience!"

"YES!"

"Jeff!"

"What?"

"QUIT!"

All three women were in different stages of snickering and laughing
at their…'captured' audience. Lita cleared her throat. "Anyway…our
first match after the first wet t-shirt contest is one Boxers and
Briefs Match!! This one involves a couple of people that verge on
cruiserweights and/or ARE cruiserweights."

"Meaning there ain't much there?"

"Meaning there will be less at the end than when they start." Torrie
smiled devilishly.

The cruiserweight division suddenly looked very nervous as a whole.
Lita grinned again. "Ahem. Anyway, it will be a tag team boxers and
briefs match! Jeff Hardy-"

"YES!"

"JEFF QUIT!"

"And Rob Van Dam versus Shane Helms and Jaime Noble!"

"AHHHH!"

Shane and Jaime were screaming like little girls. Lita cocked her
head. "Aw, guys, they'll love you."

Shane stood, pointing at the women. "Can't do that! The booking makes
NO sense! The Hurricane and Jaime Noble are NOT friends!!!"

"RIGHT!"

Stacy shrugged as she put her hands on her hips as she stared at
Shane and Jaime. "Booking never makes sense ANYWAY, so what's the
difference?"

Both stopped before dropping into their seats at that fact. Damn
them. Lita sighed with a roll of her eyes. "Anyways, yes, that's the
match. Jeff is NOT allowed to wear more than one shirt-"

"No prob!"

"JEFF QUIT!!"

"And no one else can wear more clothes than normal!! The point is to
strip your opponents of their clothes down to the underwear!"

"And their dignity?"

"That's optional." Lita grinned. "Anyway, the first team to do that
will be declared the winners! Torrie and Nidia will be our lovely
Divas-Turned-Referees for that match!"

"Especially since Torrie requested Jeff be involved!" Stacy offered.

Torrie looked up with a blush before sticking her tongue out at her
friend. "Yeah well, the only reason Rob's mixing it up with a bunch
of cruiserweights is because you wanted to see him loose his clothes!!

Stacy sighed, fingers to her temple before looking at the audience
with a blush. "ANYWAYS, after THAT match will be our second wet t-
shirt contest! By Torrie's request of course!" she added before
continuing ahead of Torrie's outburst. "In this, Shane and Jeff will
hang around-"

"YES!"

"DAMMIT JEFF QUIT!"

"Anyway, we'll have Shane and Jeff for the wet t-shirt contest along
with a lovely second appearance with Matt Hardy and the sweet Shannon Moore!"

"Sounds like a…uh oh…"

"Yes!" Lita laughed. "A wet t-shirt contest among the former Oh Oh Oh
mega Boys!"

Three of the four Omega Boys looked like they just heard some form of
sacrilege. Jeff on the other hand found the altered name incredibly
funny. Stacy nodded. "Yes, Torrie recommended the name, all the divas
voted and the name of the wet t-shirt contest IS the `Wet Oh Oh Oh
Mega Boys T-Shirt' Contest. But that's not all!! We have one more
match before the Main Event that night!!"

There were a lot of interesting things mumbled about
that, but the most common seemed to be `oh dear God' for some reason.
Jeff unfortunately didn't get to say anything because the Omega Boys
were in fact busy making the effort to muzzle him. Some of the
heavyweights seemed to be breathing a little easier for the most
part. For the `most' part that was…Triple H on the other hand,
couldn't seem to shake the feeling he was forgetting something
verrrrry important…

Torrie seemed awfully frazzled at the moment so Lita
grabbed the paper from Stacy's hands with a smile. "Our last match
before the as of yet un-named main event will be involving some of
our yummy heavy-weights." Her smile could have made any typical man's
heart stop. In THIS room however it just made them want to cry like
little girls. Most ESPECIALLY the heavyweights.

"Yes, you fine, upstanding, lovely men, our match before our final
match of the evening will be a heavy-weight Boxers or Briefs match!!
And this match WILL in fact include an actual wrestling match with
three heavyweights in a triple threat!"

"Oh dear God…" well, lightening seemed to have struck Triple H. And
the cruiserweights seemed to find that REALLY funny…

"Yes Hunter, just for the women that LOVE you not to mention all
those women that seem to LOVE the Rock-" the man of the same name
seemed to be trying to bolt through the door, yet he seemed to be being
held down by the entire cruiserweight division as Lita
continued. "Triple threat of Triple H versus The Rock versus Brock
Lesnar refereed by myself and Jacqueline!! Well, we're sure you'll
ALL love these matches, yet it's almost time for the house show to
start!! We'll tell you about the main event the night of Smackdown!!
Thanks everyone and especially all of you fine men involved!!!"

All three women absolutely bolted for the door, leaving an extremely
quiet room. That's when all hell broke loose and a lot of tears
seemed to be shed by three particular heavyweights.


End Chapter 3