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Green Tentacle: Did you get Bernard the note, little dude?
::The little hamster nods yes::
Green Tentacle: EXCELLENT! Now take this one to this address...
Purple Tentacle: I thought you already SENT for help.
::The hamster, letter in hand, zips off::
Green Tentacle: I did. This next one's just backup. Just in case, y'know. I mean, maybe that meteor might come back and, y'know, fall on Bernard or something... y'know, for rocketing it into space in the trunk of an Edsel five years ago.
Purple Tentacle: You idiot, that isn't what happened. The brats reported it to the Meteor Police and it was taken into custody.
Green Tentacle: Wait... that wasn't it- he fed the meteor to some gigantic plant.
Purple Tentacle: No, no, that wasn't it... I remember now! The Meteor became a best-selling author and moved to Tahoe.
Green Tentacle: No, no... I've got it for sure now!
::Flashback. Bernard is in the lab from five years ago, in a radiation suit. He picks up the meteor, and suddenly, the lights flash red::
Green Tentacle: (in voice-over) Bernie got his hands on the meteor and was about to y'know, get rid of it, but it activated the house-explosion thingy it had put in.
::Bernard searches frantically throughout the house for a place to put it::
Green Tentacle: He tried to find a place to dump it, but by the time he thought of something, it was too late!
::The house EXPLODES in a nuclear reaction, leaving behind a mushroom cloud::
Green Tentacle: Everything within a five mile radius was completely vaporized, including us! That was totally bogus, don't you think?
Purple Tentacle: ... you idiot, that didn't happen. We're still alive.
Green Tentacle: Um... uh.... err..... it got better?
Purple Tentacle: ::sigh:: I envy that mouse...
Green Tentacle: Anyway... I wonder where Bernard is?
::CRASH::
Purple Tentacle: I think our question has just been answered.

Up above, just outside the Mansion...
Hoagie: That's the last time you drive, Bernard.
Bernard: Oh, hush up. Green Tentacle may be mincemeat already!
Laverne: If he's gone already, why bother?
Bernard: Let's just go.
::They walk up the hill to the door of the Mansion::
Hoagie: So this is THE Mansion?
Bernard: Yup.
Laverne: Are you sure?
Hoagie: Call me crazy, but this seems like some seedy third-rate motel to me.
Bernard: What makes you say THAT?
Laverne: The sign right above your pointy head's a start.
::Bernard turns around- sure enough, there's a lighted sign there that says "SLEEP EAZY MOTEL". The "P" and two "E"s are blown out.::
Bernard: Right. Anyway, we've still got to save Green Tentacle!
::They go inside::
Bernard: Okay, we'll spread out, commando-style.
Laverne: ::Sigh::
Bernard: Laverne, you go secure the area behind those double doors. Hoagie, you maintain upstairs reconnaissance. I'll maintain command HQ here, in the lobby.
Hoagie: Some fearless leader.
Laverne: And what are we looking for?
Bernard: We need to find where Dr. Fred is hiding those tentacles!
Laverne: This better not take too long. I've got an anatomy final tomorrow.
Hoagie: And i've got a stage to set later tonight. If i'm late, I don't get to test the drums.
::The two enter their assigned areas, leaving Bernard alone in the lobby.::
Bernard: If I know Dr. Fred, he's got the Tentacles holed up somewhere in his secret lab. Question is, where's his secret lab?
::The house had been renovated since five years ago. The painted sign saying "Secret Lab" is long gone.::
Bernard: Okay now... there's a flier for a vacuum cleaner store... a Help Wanted sign, my old friend Chuck the plant, (My, how he's grown!) a wad of spearmint gum stuck to the floor, a fun little bell on the desk, an out-of-order pay phone, a suspicious old clock... THAT'S IT!
::Bernard walks over to... the pay phone::
Bernard: I remember this trick from the last game! If I press the right combination of buttons, the door should open! Well, let's start from the beginning... 0-0-0-0.... nope, that isn't it. 0-0-0-1... that isn't it either..... 0-0-0-2... nope... 0-0-0-3.... aw, rats...
Purple Tentacle: ::From below:: We're down here, you worthless idiot savant! Behind the clock!
Bernard: Oh.... my mistake...
::Bernard goes over to the clock and opens it up... then suddenly goes back and checks the coin return on the pay phone::
Bernard: Ooh, a dime! 1952!
::Then he goes back over to the clock::
Bernard: A secret passageway... this is all too easy!
::THWACK::
Bernard: Ow... stupid small passageway...

::Now, we go to Hoagie upstairs.::
Hoagie: ::Talking to himself:: Check it out, a honeymoon suite, complete with peephole! Let's just have a gander inside, shall we?
::He looks inside the peephole... and sees the fattest, sweatiest man to ever exist sleeping VERY soundly::
Hoagie: I guess that's the last time she asks HIM to get on top...
::He keeps walking down the hall, and guess who he runs into...::
Hoagie: Laverne? How did you get upstairs?
::Laverne has a dazed look in her face and a certain dullness in her voice. She's in one of her... stages.. again... but we'll get to that later::
Laverne: Am I upstairs? I got lost.
Hoagie: Seen any tentacles?
Laverne: What's a tentacle?
???: Oh, just something I whipped up in my spare time.
::That's right- it just wouldn't be Maniac Mansion without good ol' Dr. Fred. The scrawny scientist rounds the corner and meets the two confused co-eds. His skin has changed from a sickening sky blue to a healthy puke green since the meteor was inexplicably defeated by Bernard and friends... but more on that later.::
Doctor Fred: Made good pets, actually- until one of them tried to take over the world...
Hoagie: I once had a snake that tried to do that.
Laverne: ::Back to her cynical self:: That was a dream, Hoagie.
Hoagie: But it felt so real!
Laverne: Oh, please. There's no way some slimy, no-legged creature could EVER take over the world.
Doctor Fred: Anyway... I had to tie the little buggers up in the basement.
Laverne: Good thing you told us that.
Hoagie: Yeah. Bernard wanted us to set them free.
Doctor Fred: Thank God you weren't THAT stupi-..... did you say.... Bernard?
Hoagie: Yea, I di-
Doctor Fred: TO THE LAB! Not a moment to lose!

Bernard: Okay, you're free to go!
Green Tentacle: Thanks, Bernard.
Purple Tentacle: Yes... thanks, naive human...
Bernard: Wait a second... you never knew words like-
Purple Tentacle: Now I must go finish TAKING OVER THE WORLD! MWA HA HA!
::Purple hops out of the dark laboratory, leaving behind small circles of slime in his trial::
Bernard: Oh... I forgot... he's incredibly evil, isn't he?
Green Tentacle: I- i'll try to talk him out of it....
::Green hops off after Purple::
Bernard: Well... what harm can one insane, mutant tentacle do?

TV news anchor Gary Pinhead: We interrupt this fanfic for this urgent message. This just in- a rash of cow tipping across the countryside has police baffled. Witnesses have caught glimpses of a triangular man in one attack on a dairy farm in scenic Gullwump, Washington. More on this story as it develops. We return you now to your fanfic.

::CLICK::
Doctor Fred: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME, YOU MEDDLING MILQUETOAST?
Bernard: Hey, Dr. Fred! Your skin's looking much better!
Doctor Fred: It was bad enough when you invaded my house five years ago... you broke my arcade games, stole parts out of my radio, ate me out of house and home, splattered hamster guts all over my microwave... but NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! Thanks to you, Purple Tentacle is free to use his evil mutant powers to take over the world and ENSLAVE ALL HUMANITY!
Bernard: ........... my bad?
Doctor Fred: Our only hope now is to shut off this Sludge-O-Matic machine and prevent the toxic mutagen from entering the river!
Bernard: But isn't it too late for that?
Doctor Fred: Of course! That's why I'm going to have to do it...
::Dr. Fred strikes dramatic pose #81::
Doctor Fred: YESTERDAY! Come, boy! To the time machine!