A/N- Thank you for all the great reviews, I seriously didn't think I was going to get any for this fic. Umm I ranted again….sorry ^_^;;;; Oh this has got some graphic violence in it, stay back young readers!!
There Is No Pride In Love
Chapter One
Rain
TWO YEARS AFTER SPIKE'S "DEATH"
The rain fell down the streets, over the figures that stood against the night, dark eyes cast by shadows surrounding the corners as children played, drinking in what little light they could find in smiles. Cars flew by, raindrops flying against raindrops as a single figure stood out against the black and white of gray. She wasn't part of the world, she was never part of it to begin with. Her experiences separated her from them, the normal people.
But she didn't like to let that show. To them, on the outside, she was just as normal as they were, and that's what she wanted them to think.
Faye Valentine walked down the left side of the street, her black cowboy hat preventing any rain from smearing down her face as her bent head leant her face to the shadows the hat provided. Her green eyes glowed through gray as she stared ahead, searching and looking with narrowed centers and radiant anger in their depths. The figures around her passed her like black and white shadows that she paid no notice to, as far as she was concerned the only sounds were her own footsteps echoing on the pavement covered in silver rain below her black boots.
Through the years she had become very good at ignoring what was there right in front of her face. The clouds above her loomed over her shoulders as she ignored the fact that they threatened her with fate. After all, she was one of the best candidates to outdo fate and tally all her stakes so high the only choice was to win. She was a master at gambling, and whether it was Poker or Life she was sure she would win. She was still as cocky as ever, or at least everyone around her thought she was though she often had her doubts, had her fears, had her pains though she hid them quite well.
She'd lost once to life, she'd lost so much that one time that the fear of loosing something like that again had never truly dulled away in her heart.
Raindrops fell along her black leather coat as she walked, cars flying by, splashing water onto her as she dug her fingers deep into the pockets of her worn jeans seeking the heat of being warm even when her jeans themselves had been drenched cold for some time now. Her white shirt was soaked through and was almost transparent, but she could have cared less about that or the stares she received from the people around her as whispers filled the air she merely shook them away like they were flies.
She'd been walking for some time, three hours to be exact, and two of those hours she'd been running, or at least trying to run, away from three pursuers. She was being followed; she'd guessed that when she had seen three men all in the same uniform looking at her from across the street some time ago. It had taken her several minutes for her to realize why the uniforms they wore looked so familiar. An image of a man with silver hair and hard black eyes sitting in an Opera booth, a dead Mao Yenrei next to her, had entered her mind, the silver haired man's uniform the same as the men following her now.
A pain and fear had never truly healed that memory away though it was covered by other thoughts, secretly hidden in her heart and mind.
Cars passed over the three figures that brought her past that, she, at first, had thought them to be an illusion, merely an after effect of being on Mars where everything had happened. After awhile of walking and finding one on the other side of the street and one behind her pacing her steps, the other obviously not far away, she had begun to get scared and then intolerably angry. More then once she had tried to walk up to one the men and give them a piece of her mind, but they had all but run, the lowly cowards! So now she had given up, finding no real threat in their presence yet self-reassuringly fingering the gun in her coat pocket every once and awhile.
Besides they were not her concern at the moment nor were countless memories and past pains. But somehow, without even trying she thought of his two different colored eyes, his green hair, his serious voice, and his smartass attitude. But before the wounds of yesterday reopened she shook them away hard. She was sorry he died, she was sorry he left and his body was never found, but there was nothing she could do about it, there was no reason for her to think about him and pick at scabs long healed. But if they were so healed why were the scabs still there to be picked at? She shook her head.
The man by the name of Rain Falcon was all that entered her mind even through the harboring fear circling through her body and Spike's memory that should have been forgotten two years ago. Rain was a new bounty the ISSP had yet to release to the public but had released to Jet. Faye had volunteered to go the amount of the bounty almost making her fall out of her seat when Jet had shown her it.
"240,000,000 woolongs! What this guy do?" She had said reading Rain's profile, her green eyes wide as she read, the fan in the Bebop's living room circled the air with normal comfort as she sat on top the coffee table. "Wanted for twenty murders on Venus and ten on Mars," she had recited with a mummer.
Jet had been standing against the doorway, arms folded as he waited until she was done. "This guy is hot stuff, Faye. The bounty is high, he may be very dangerous."
"Are you saying I can't handle him?" Faye had asked stubbornly even as she swept up her long purple hair in a ponytail, dusting off her worn jeans as she stood, and then swiftly grabbing her leather coat that she had previously thrown carelessly on the yellow couch. She put it on finding she had grown quite cold, her eyes darting to the fan as if it was all its fault that she was cold.
"Think about it, Faye. It could be suicide chasing this guy, especially since all his murders were women." Jet had pointed out as Faye turned and looked at him coolly. She had grown older over the two years since Spike had left Her green eyes looked more mature, her features had turned more focused, more acute, and her attitude changed a little more than he would have expected. But she still had turned out to be another Spike in his life. She was just another stubborn mule who wouldn't listen to any reasoning but her own just as Spike had been. There was only one difference and that was that Spike had seemed to have a certain logic behind his reasoning. Faye seemed to have only greed, or so he thought. Who the hell knew what went on in Faye Valentine's head?
For a second the room had gone quiet as Jet thought of Spike and old wounds oozed bloody memories that still hit him hard despite time. Then she spoke, knowing that he was hurting inside but knowing it was her best time to escape his lectures and escape her own memories. "Set the coordinates to Mars, that was where he was last seen."
It had taken a while for Jet to understand she meant Rain and not Spike and he had only blankly nodded and gone to set the coordinates muttering about how the youth didn't respect the aspects of those who were older than themselves. She frowned after him at the fact that he hadn't offered to go with her, but scolded herself for even thinking she needed him. Spike's death had taught her many things, and one was not to rely on comrades too much. They would most likely let you down in the end.
Ten hours later she had found herself searching for three hours that produced nothing but rain and cold shivers with a little bit of fear on top of it. She was about ready to give up, her fingers clenching and unclenching as the wind blew around her face, something inside her heart chilling as she tried to forget the feel of eyes on her back. The wind blew harder, yelling as if she really wanted to hear what it said, as if she really cared. Then, as if angry at being ignore, the wind blew extra hard and her hat flew off her head leaving her dry purple hair vulnerable to the cold unforgiving rain.
"Damnitt," she muttered as she turned to go after it, eyes burning with green rage. People walked passed her hat making her even more angry as she struggled to get it, probably looking like an idiot in the process, the rain deciding to start to come down in sheets as she grabbed for it. Her patience was thin, as the wind blew her hat down the muddy sidewalk, past peoples' feet who ignored her vain efforts as she cursed and swore at the ignorance of people. Lightening struck the air and lit up the darkness and made black the light as she jumped, startled, glancing at the sky as she stood straight like a wet angel with long purple hair streaking down her face. The hell with the hat, she was going to go back to the Bebop, the hell with the bounty, she was cold and hungry, and tired.
Thunder echoed in her ears as she turned to leave and found she could barely see two steps in front of her. The rain was like being underwater as she struggled to see through the blankets of water pouring down her face. Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder and when she turned she found a figure holding her hat out towards her, the figure's face barely visible as she grabbed her hat and slammed it on her head, muttering a thank you to the man in front of her. She could barely hear her own voice over the rain echoing in her ears and on the ground at her feet that she could barely see through the water in her eyes. Her hat sagged with the weight of water it had soaked up, but she could care less, at least it was back on her head and keeping the rain off her face.
The man seemed to smile and took out an umbrella, opening it and holding it over her as well as him. Without the rain between them Faye could see his face perfectly. Brown hair, wet and matted against a high forehead, deep blue eyes cold and warm at the same time, lips soft and sensual, a strong nose and high cheek bones- a model of a perfect man stared down at her. He wore a brown trench coat, a black shirt, and khakis; both soaked through just like her own clothes. Rain Falcon…
She smiled, knowing that her lips were trembling with sudden chill, fear resounding through her as she tried to control the beating of her heart. "Hi, thanks," she said to him again, motioning to the umbrella above her head.
He smiled back at her, his eyes lighting up with an inner light as he said your welcome. "It's not everyday that I get to help a beautiful woman in distress." His voice was smooth, soft, nothing like a killer. The rain fell around them like a curtain that made her feel unreal, like they were in their own private world and no one was there to interrupt. "I noticed that you were walking around the block for awhile. What are you doing out here for so long, walking the same block over and over again without even an umbrella?" He asked as he began to walk taking her arm as if to ensure her safety.
A mix of feelings melted her as she tried to understand what was going on. The mass murderer, Rain Falcon, was holding her arm like a gentleman, a true man that knew what manners were. She felt cut off but at the same time totally aware that he was holding her arm, totally aware that he was next to her, laughing and smiling as if they were best friends. And the worst thing was that she was talking back, not knowing why, but enjoying his company despite the fact he was a murderer. "Looking for someone, I suppose." She tried to make up a lie. "He stood me up," she said smiling up into his eyes that were higher up than hers. He was only about a head taller than she was but the way he looked at her made her believe he was on the same level as she was.
Is this why he's so dangerous? She wondered. He can rope his victims in so easily with a manner of a sane person but then he goes psycho and kills them. Am I the next victim?
She let him lead her, not knowing where they were going as he looked ahead, blue eyes warm, the rain making their walk private, secret to the skies that couldn't see past the clouds. "Why would anyone want to stand someone as pretty as you up?" He asked glancing down at her with laughter in his eyes. He sounded so normal as if he weren't a murderer, but he was! She had to remember he wasn't normal, and he wasn't as sweet as he appeared to be.
She shrugged as she blushed, cursing herself for taking his remarks as seriously as she was. Then she pulled her arm away from his, angry that he could catch her so easily into his trap, perhaps the same trap he had used on his other victims. But the mere act of trusting also made her realize just how much she wanted love. She wanted it so badly that she would even unconsciously try to find it in a murderer.
He seemed hurt when she pulled away but she ignored that fact and walked beside him, telling herself that murderers were the best kind of actors there were, they knew exactly what masks to wear to hide who they really were. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," she said brushing the purple hair from her face and slightly rubbing the arm he had held in his as if trying to wipe the memory of him away. A faint hope that the man next to her wasn't the one she was looking for scarcely ran through her heart as she strived to find her own mask in which to hide behind.
He turned and she followed him, where they were going, still a mystery hidden behind the deep silver vail of water, the soft sound and smell of the rain searching to calm her nerves. She could see the outline of buildings around her, the sidewalks as the rain decided to let up just a little. But everything was still a blur, something like a nightmare thrown into a twisted world. "Rain, Rain Falcon, and you are?"
She shrugged absently not really paying attention to him but more to the surroundings she was trying to see through. The name registered as she found her cold-hearted mask to hide behind. Indifference her key card as she searched to find some sort of calmness in the chaos that she found herself in the lack of it. "Faye Valentine, a very common name in this world," she said softly, barely knowing if she said it out loud or not.
The rain let up a little more and she saw buildings were on either side of them. They were in an alleyway, garbage and trash scattering the road below her, the puddles slowly becoming visible as the rain slowed to a trickle. She felt a shiver run down her spine unconsciously, she felt aloof from the world now, the streets were so quite save for the small animals that scurried out of a box here and there as they walked. "Where are we?" She asked as if he was going to tell her a straight answer. She looked up at him then and looked into his eyes that were looking straight ahead.
He then turned to her and what she saw in his face made her skin crawl, made her whole heart stop. His eyes had changed color, they were a silver blue and barely even visible. His smile was still warm and friendly but it looked changed somehow, evil and lustful as his teeth clenched together, grinding as the left over rain on his face trailed down his cheeks like tears he didn't seem to know how to cry. He knew she was after him, that fact was in his surreal eyes. He was playing cat and mouse, and she was playing hunter and hunted. Which was the prey and which was the hunter didn't really matter in the next instant. They were now two hunters that refused to be hunted but instead chose to fight.
She looked ahead trying to find an escape route, but only finding a brick wall ahead of her that was becoming closer and closer, the rain almost letting up to a stand still as if time was commanded to stop just to see what would happen. She didn't like the game she felt he was playing; it had become very unsettling. She looked back up at him, his smile almost completely gone as his eyes watched the brick wall come closer and closer, calm so eerie settling around her shoulders as the darkness etched into fine lines of reality, the last bit of blurred rain fading away like mist.
She took a deep breath and stared at the wall, her heart jumping as she watched it come closer. Two more steps… One more step… Stop.
She forced herself to be calm and stare at the wall in front of her. When she spoke her voice was cold, undeniably voice of emotion. "Rain Falcon, you're under arrest for twenty murders on Venus and ten murders here on Mars." She recited the words as fear faded into a cold piece of ice sitting in her stomach uncomfortably.
"Eleven," he said, his voice still soft, still sensual as he faced the wall, not looking at her, his silver blue eyes seeming to glow out of the corner of her eye.
"Eleven?" She asked focusing on the lines in the bricks before her and not the fear inside her, chilling her as if she were standing in the middle of Antarctica without a stich of clothing.
He turned slowly to her and she turned slowly to him, his lips held no smile, his eyes gone so cold and desolate as sparks flew in their silver depths. "Eleven murders here on Mars," he said as if they were talking gossip and he was merely arguing what she heard against what he heard.
She stared at him with confused green eyes, fear melting into her depths as she discreetly reached her hand into her pocket, the cool metal of her gun gliding over her fingertips as she grabbed for it.
She watched as he smiled, his lips stretching with ugly lines that seemed to break his face and make him monstrous, demonic as he looked down somewhere between the space that separated them. "You'll be the eleventh," he hissed with an animal growl that startled her and raised the hair on her neck.
She pulled out her gun and put pressure on the trigger, but at that second he looked up, his eyes gone totally white, his smile wide and animal-like. He didn't seem human anymore, the man he seemed before was totally gone as if he had never been there. She gasped, she didn't know what else to do, but then intellect took control and she shot. Whatever the hell he was, because he sure as hell wasn't human, he was still going to go down. The sound of gunfire echoed but missed, or more correctly the bullet hit where the target was supposed to be and where she was supposed to be had suddenly become empty space. Lightening struck into a rainless air as the gun fell to the pavement with a black hat and black umbrella, all clattering in sync with the thunder as the rain began again. Water streaming down black metal, black leather, and black plastic, the end of the gun barrel barely beginning to smoke as a growl filled the air.
Lightening struck again as two figures fought on the water-drenched ground, rain and blood dancing in the air as thunder sounded death. He had lunged; she had fallen in complete surprise, having no idea where the hell he had come from. In matter of seconds he had disappeared and then reappeared to tackle her. He was on top of her as he bit at her with sharp teeth, white daggers ripping at her throat. She bit back a scream as she tried to get her feet under her pursuer, tried to throw him off as he bit at her skin like a mad dog, blood and pain filling her, rain washing the evidence of her wounds away. Pain erupted in her body as his weight crushed her and he scored a deep wound on the side of her neck, blood flew, her blood ran through rain and death, his teeth ripped her flesh as she tried to find footing to kick him off her. Purple hair cascaded down her snarl as he dug his fingers into her arms, as she brought her leg between their two bodies and sent him sprawling in the air over her head. She glimpsed his crazed eyes, his animal face of pure loss of control and thought, and shivered as she swore at herself for being too confident in what she had to do and was doing.
She was breathing hard, her hair arranged over her forehead as if it was blown through a tornado, the rain leaking down her body as she clutched the wound on her neck with her hand, blood seeping through her white fingers. What the hell was he? He didn't seem human at all, he seemed like some psychopath from some horror movie. His form lay on the ground, heaving with gasps, and after a few seconds she realized he was laughing. Fear trickled down her spine every half a second as she saw her gun and reached for it, shooting him in the chest as pain flew over her body from such a swift move.
Blood flew against the rain as she shot him in the chest over and over again, emptied her clip, reached into her coat for a new one and shot again. He rolled over, knelt, then stood, laughter gone as his white eyes seemed to echo through the darkness, a small smile over his lips as she emptied another clip, the bullets scoring direct hits on his chest but failing to stop him as he began to walk towards her. Fear made her limbs shake, made her heart shudder as she tried to think of any plausible reasons for what he was or seemed to be. She found none but the stories of her child hood, nightmares that weren't supposed to be real. She shot for his face, hit him in the eye, but still he didn't even blink as tissue flew everywhere and left a gaping bloody hole in his right eye socket.
What the hell was he! She screamed inside her head as she tried to push back the panic. He was almost a foot away and she backed against the wall as she looked around to find an escape route, her purple hair covering her one eye as found her back pressed against the brick wall behind her. She found her fingers digging into the brick, her nails bending back painfully as she clutched it.
He smiled as she stared at him with wide eyes, her gun still outstretched, her hand shaking as she shot him in the middle of the forehead, the nose, under his left eye, blood flying into her face as the bullets hit flesh. But he kept coming until he grabbed her hand and twisted it, bones cracking as he twisted it all away around. Her screams echoed with the sound of the gun dropping to the ground once again, going off one more time, before he began to laugh, pressing his ugly mutilated face into hers. Pain rippled through her arm as her other hand clutched it. Brown hair streaked in blood came towards her pale skin as he put his other hand to her throat and began to squeeze.
She couldn't move, she couldn't scream, and now she found she couldn't breathe. Then logic kicked in and she struggled against his gasp as he pressed her up against the wall behind her, her feet lifting on the ground as she choked and wrenched for air that wasn't coming. He pulled her back from the wall by her neck and slammed her against it, her bones cracking as she felt pain erupt in her body. Fear was gone, only the will to survive was inside her now, it pumped through her veins as tears of pain filled her eyes.
What the hell was he! She kicked at him, her good hand grasping at his hand that held her, her nails digging into his skin as she struggled. Blood was everywhere, hers and his mixed, flew through the air as he took her back from the wall and slammed her into it again, her shoulder cracking as she screamed, or tried to, the lack of air making her head spin with pain, rain, and darkness. She felt the back of her ribs crack, felt her lungs scream for air.
Then he let her fall as his grasp fell from her neck. She fell down to her knees gasping for breath, her head back leaning against the wall behind her, the rain dripping down her throat, her neck, leaking bloody trails behind clear water. Her good hand held the broken one as black leather was ripped over her shoulders, blood sliding down her body as she tried to breathe, her ribs broken, making it difficult to do so. "Bastard," she said between breaths.
He smiled at her and reached for her hair, pulling her to her feet by her long purple strands. "I'm not done playing yet," he said, his breath fowl over her face, a piece of her skin dangling from one of his teeth.
She tried not to vomit as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a knife. The hell you are! In an instant her hand was slammed up against the wall, broken and useless in a matter of seconds as he laughed. Damn!
The rain was coming down hard again and pain was making her head fuzzy as she tried to think, fear increasing as her heart beat angrily against broken ribs. Blackness, she could see it, and then she could see his eyes as he touched her chin and ran his fingers down her neck. He touched the wound he made with his teeth earlier and playfully pulled at the raw skin, tugging hard as he pulled some off. She screamed as pain in pain erupted through her. She saw her death, saw all the regrets she had ever had in her life like images that were merely ghosts mocking her for all she failed to do. Everything was so acute, the raindrops so clear she saw each one as they fell on his skin, on the pavement, in the puddles around them.
Everything was happening so fast. Only minutes before she had been looking for her hat. Ten minutes before she had wanted to go back to the Bebop. Now things had slowed to snail pace, and her life was flashing before her eyes. Death never played fair.
"Do you believe in God?" He was asking her.
She muttered a no.
"What do you believe in?" He asked with curiosity that made her sick.
"Dreams. Life's a dream, didn't you know that?" She asked weakly, Spike coming into her mind, looking at her with those intense eyes before he left. I thought I was watching a dream I'd never wake up from…
She could hear Rain laugh, but she all she really saw was Spike. Then everything fell apart. Her heart began to ache and tears sprang to her eyes, not for herself, but for him. It had been so long since she saw him, she didn't like to think about it, she didn't like to remember that she had let him go, that she had been part of his death by not stopping him. She missed him, ever since he had left she had lost something, she hadn't known what it was before and she didn't know now, but she knew it had to do something with the way she viewed life. She had moved on, she had taken on her usual life with Jet, but without Spike in that life, things seemed lost, desolate.
She hadn't realized she had her eyes closed until she opened them, saw the world, saw the people in it in a flash of clarity, shadows of what she would never be, what she would never have the chance to be as she forgot her regrets and welcomed death.
But then things were back to being foggy again and the pain began throb through her faster, harder, ripping her memories apart as life began to fade as blackness took her.
Suddenly she felt Rain's hand loosen from her hair, felt the thump as she fell to the ground, felt her own surprise and relief. Her vision was blurry as she looked up and saw a woman standing in front of her, long black hair trailed in the rain wet but soft looking as Rain growled and lunged at the woman who easily threw him away. He growled again before his blue eyes came back, his human nature coming back with wounds already beginning to heal.
The woman stood protectively over Faye, shouting something lost to Faye as blackness was taking her to hell and back, dragging her through a road covered in needles that pricked all over her body and caused her to bleed. Hell being the real world with pain, bliss being the darkness that held nothing.
She closed and opened her eyes again, the mysterious was woman gone, Rain had vanished into the night he came from, and the rain had all but stopped although her wounds came screaming into reality as the world rang with pain. Her whole being was alone except for her heartbeat and the blood on the concrete below her. She closed her eyes again reluctantly trying to sleep and wash away the pain and blood. She opened her eyes one more time hoping that when she awoke everything that had happened was all a nightmare. But the pain came rushing back, her soft heart growing faint as she tried to hold on to its rhythm. The last thing she saw was another figure coming towards her from the shadows like a shadow himself that was not really there, a man in a uniform with sunglasses, more men behind him as he reached down and checked her pulse. Then she blacked out and she was mercifully taken into the arms of sleep.
A/N- Aight is sucked right? Anyway didn't have time to read over, sorry it was kinda boring, but oh well. Enjoy the boringness!!!
Er and I kinda loss where the italics were when I was converting it from my micro-word to a text doc.