Disclaimer-Cowboy Bebop isn't mine.
There Is No Pride In Love
Leap of Faith
Chapter Three
She looked out her apartment window, the lights of the city reflecting on her face as she turned away to sit at her desk where her computer glared at her. She could feel a part of her give into feelings as she stared at the red dragon on the screen, felt the insecurity that came with that logo that had haunted her for years. She clicked on it with her mouse and typed a few commands that hacked into the main system. After a minute or so the data was done loading and she typed in the command that demanded the medical records of the latest patients cast to the infirmary.
She scrolled down and found the picture of the woman she was looking for. Her information was underneath. Faye Valentine. Broken arm, wrist, dislocated shoulder. Wound to the neck, various blows to the head, cuts and scrapes scattered over the body. She read further and sighed with relief when Faye's latest check up stated she would recover without problems.
Alexa sat back in her seat and stretched slightly reaching for her coffee. She sipped lightly staring at the green eyes on the screen through the steam of her cup. So the woman Rain was after was named Faye Valentine. Pretty name- one Rain likely didn't know- and now that the face had one it made the puzzle of how to protect the woman a little more complete. After all, Rain never gave up on unfinished business and neither did she. Now she was one more step ahead.
Alexa took another sip of her caffeine and tried to wash away the weariness that had taken its course on her the last few days since she had last seen Rain. And Rain, God he was the last *thing* on earth she wanted to think about. But Alexa faced the truth in her mind even if she didn't realize it. To protect Faye she would have to confront Rain and stop him by herself. And *not* finding any way to guard Faye would be murder- if Alexa could prevent Rain from getting to Faye then it was her responsibility to do so. And if she didn't, she was just as responsible for that death than Rain.
'Where were you for the others he killed?' A voice asked her angrily.
Alexa shook her head knowing she had been responsible for those deaths that Rain had taken just as much as he was. She'd watched from a distance, not wanting to confront him again. Not after living with him and watching him change... Fear had stopped her cold and stole the innocence with undying guilt that followed her everywhere. And yet fear shouldn't have been an excuse.
She hated to admit that she was still scared of him. But that fear was slowly going away and saving that Valentine woman had cut her ties with him or whatever control he had over her, forever.
'Forever...' The word resounded in her thoughts like a broken record. But any power he had over her was gone, she knew she had a right to reassure herself and not think otherwise.
'Forever...'
She sat back. Was it really forever? Of course it was, why was she doubting herself? She took a huge swallow of coffee, the liquid burning down her throat as if in reprimand.
'Forever...'
As the last echo sounded through her mind she was almost certain that forever wasn't as long as she thought.
*^*^*^*
Coffee. He needed coffee. The cigarettes just weren't cutting it anymore. His head hurt, his eyes burned and the damn cigarettes weren't doing a damn thing about the weariness that was setting into his body at the moment. Faye was alive, thank God, but she was pissed as hell, and God knew he didn't have the patience to make her see reason about the situation at the moment without *some* kind of stabilizing drug in his system. He'd waited three days for her to wake up, went through more packs of cigarettes than he did in a whole year, and finally, when she was alive enough to the world to become coherent she was a hellcat, and to top that off the cigarettes weren't working!
He smiled to himself tiredly. But what, more or less, was he expecting from her truthfully? Certainly not a sound little princess sitting prim on her throne with manners and etiquette with a warm welcoming to the ones that saved her life. No, that really wasn't Faye, was it?
He needed caffeine desperately. Nicotine wasn't enough for his body that cried 'Sleep, need sleep. Sleep, damn you!'. He rubbed his eyes and threw down the cigarette in his hand, glaring at it after he crushed it with his shoe as if it betrayed him in some way. "Cheap ass drug," he muttered as he rubbed his head with his metal hand. He sighed and leaned on to the door of Faye's room, closing his eyes to relish in the feeling of satisfaction when sleep was on the verge of taking him. The infirmary hallway was rather peaceful from where he stood and peace was what he needed.
"Mr. Black," a voice said softly.
He opened his eyes and yawned. "Yeah?" Then he froze when he saw who it was and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. Shin stared at him with stern trust and Jet stared back with an almost glare of indifference. He wasn't angry with the man, Spike's death wasn't his fault directly, but he really had no desire to be *friends* with Shin either.
Shin seemed to sense Jet's cold shoulder and yet he pressed his back against the wall next to Jet and shrugged slightly. "How's she doing?" Shin asked as if he didn't already know. He had seemed to know everything before hand, why play dumb now?
Jet shook his head trying to sort through all that Shin knew, knowing the Dragon leader might know more about the Bebop crew than Jet himself did. After all, Shin was the one who called Jet to tell him Faye was in the hospital. It was Shin who knew his number on the Bebop. It was Shin who knew that Jet was *even* on the Bebop. It was Shin who had known Faye's name even when she didn't have any ID on her. And it was Shin who knew that both Jet and Faye had even known Spike, which was why the Red Dragons were even bothering to help to rescue, treat, and protect her.
"Why are you helping her?" Jet had asked when Shin had explained Faye's situation. Jet hadn't been mad like Faye but he had certainly wanted nothing to do with the Syndicate that stole his friend away.
"Because Spike would want me to offer my services to his friends." And with that Shin had left the vid-screen blank, sending the coordinates to where Faye was being held.
And now here he was- in the whiter than heaven hallway of the infirmary of the Red Dragons.
"Faye's Faye, there's no cure for that." Jet shrugged, grabbed another cigarette in his pocket and lit up with a smile.
Shin seemed to smile as well, but only faintly. "Mr. Black, there's something you and I must discuss." He stood straight and looked seriously at the older man.
"There's alot of things we have to 'discuss'. How about starting with how the hell you knew the things you did?" Jet inhaled and exhaled smoke that was supposed to calm his nerves.
"Things I knew?" Shin asked a little confused.
"Yeah. Like how you knew it was Faye you rescued when I know for a fact she had no ID whatsoever on her?" Jet threw the cigarette down. He felt anger bubbling up inside him. Fine that he didn't hate the Red Dragons personally. Fine that he could put the past behind him, but when that past started nosing around where it wasn't wanted... Well thats when things weren't 'fine' in Jet's book.
Shin was silent for a long moment. "I don't feel I need to explain myself." He tucked his hands in his pocket and Jet nearly decked him.
"What the hell do you mean 'I don't feel I need to explain myself'?" Jet said standing to his full height. "It's my business to know who knows about me. If it concerns me then anyone whose in on it better explain themselves, whether they want to or not."Jet took an intimidated step towards Shin.
Shin stood his ground and in a less-than-neutral voice he spoke sternly. "Mr. Black, I have just rescued your friend and I have also offered her the finest protection I could. Understand that Miss Valentine and now *you* have more than declined my offer on my offense. And whether you are important to Spike or not, I will *not* offer twice. So think carefully on what you want to do or say." Shin's eyes narrowed. "I will not be given orders from someone I helped. As far as I am concerned you and your lady friend take too much for granted." He stepped up to Jet who was shooting darts with his eyes knowing that he *was* acting ungrateful, but he had a right to know how Shin knew all he did!
"I would also like to remind you that you are surrounded by Red Dragon agents and at any moment I could call them to take you to our prisoner cells shall you get out of hand." Shin softened his voice then. "I don't want to do that, but if you keep arguing with me and demanding things I feel I have the right not to answer I am afraid that you will take the battle to a more physical ground. So please, Mr. Black, try to be reasonable."
'Be reasonable...' The words rang through him. Hadn't he been reasonable when he asked for a simple explanation? God damnitt, why didn't people listen to what was in front of their faces nowadays? He was being 'reasonable'! *He* wasn't hiding behind mystery like a coward.
He needed caffeine.
"Where's the cafeteria?" Jet moved past Shin without an answer.
"Mr. Black we do have to talk," said Shin and Jet nodded in agreement- they *would* talk... After he had caffeine.
*^*^*^*
(Spike's Narrative)
I could feel consciousness slipping from my grasp. I was so close, so damn close to seeing, feeling, and so help me, living as well. I wanted to live, God, anything to get me out of the darkness that was becoming hot with memories of all that was and wasn't. What I did and what I failed to do. My sins, my undying guilt for all that blood stained on my hands. I couldn't die, Julia's memory wouldn't let me rest until I did, and all I wanted was to get away from the darkness.
'She told me to go,' I thought bitterly. 'She *wanted* me to go.'
I felt hurt, betrayed even when I knew she had seen reason where I hadn't. I owed my friends my help. They needed it for some reason, and I had the responsibility to give it.
I saw her, the purple haired harlot that had been the pain in my ass ever since we met. My eyes, they strained to see her face, the white ivory of her skin, the piercing green of her eyes, her pink lips pale of color.
"Faye," I whispered. Was that my voice? I could barely hear it. God, I wished that I could just bounce back to living like I used to.
"Spike? Oh, God, is it really you?"
Tears- she was crying- just like she had when I walked out the door. Those tears had been there, unshed, deeply felt, and I hadn't cared. I still didn't. But to see her face, to know she cared that I lived even when I didn't give a damn meant something to me.
My vision was blurry but I was becoming more awake, more alert. My body, it was stiff, I felt as if someone had taken me through an ice age and back with the slight pain it took to move my lips and speak. "Faye," I said again. I couldn't say anything else. I mean what else could I say? 'Hey, I'm back. Miss me?'?
My vision was clearing, the oxygen tubes in my nose hissed as I took a deep breath, my heart monitor beeped next to me as I looked around. A hospital room surrounded me. How the hell did I get here? There was a window with bright lights like colored stars that filled the room with light to my left. The colors filled her face with sparkling rivers running down her cheeks. Then I saw them, the bruises and cuts that hung on her ivory skin like crimson and purple grimaces. The white bandages that wrapped her forehead were like lightening to my system.
Someone had beaten the shit out of Faye and I wasn't sure I cared.
I tried to smile though my cheeks felt as if I hadn't smiled in a century. "What happened to you?" I asked with the same casualty I had had before, back on the Bebop. My voice was still a little raspy and I could feel the sand paper my throat had become.
Faye sat back on her heels next to my bed and grimaced in pain. Her right arm was wrapped from shoulder to hand, and the blue hospital shirt she wore hung off her pale form that glistened with fear.
Of me?
"I thought you were dead," she said as if she were afraid someone would hear. She had avoided my question... I tried to shrug but found I could barely could move my arms or legs, much less my chest or shoulders. Tired, weak, that's what I felt all at once. Frustration, anger, added to the conjuring of my emotions and made me feel kind of hollow. "Well, I'm not, so don't act as if it's my funeral, okay?" I said as I coughed. I grunted as I moved my hand just for the sake of moving *something*. Progress, little as it was, felt good.
"Stop acting as if I care," Faye said in her same old haughty tone. I half smiled. Now, this was the Faye I knew.
"Well, I guess I was wrong then," I said trying again to shrug.
But now, first things first, I thought. Water! Hell, I needed something to drink. Then after that I needed food, good, greasy, hot, spicy, yummy food! Then, my brain would be working, and I could figure out where the hell I was.
"Faye, would it be too much if I asked you to get me a drink of water?" I asked trying my best to move around. No go, a twitch here and there was all I got.
Faye smiled ironically. The tears were only vapor trails now and she stood with a grimace. "Sure Spike, after two years, I suppose I could get you a drink." She limped away with clenched teeth, the tightening in her jaw obvious to me even when she walked away passed a curtain on my right.
Had she said two years? Two years!
No, she had to have been teasing. I couldn't have been out of it for two years. No, I wouldn't believe it, it just wasn't possible to be asleep that long. Sure, a couple times I had had a couple drinks and slept a few days afterwards before, but I've never slept for two years!
Faye limped back, her eyes burning with determination as a glass slopped clear, refreshing liquid. My throat suddenly felt all the drier. "Damn, I had to open two closets before I found the bathroom," she muttered.
"Poor you," I said sarcastically.
Bad move.
She glared at me then smiled that I-got-something-up-sleeve smile. "How badly do you want this water, Spike?" She asked coyly.
I groaned. Damn.
"Oh, that bad, eh?" She smiled and motioned to bring the glass she held in her hands closer to me. "And I suppose you want me to hold it while you drink like a little bitty baby?"
"Faye, c'mon." I was in desperate need of water. My mouth had gone so dry I felt as if I could sand a splintered piece of wood just by swallowing.
She smiled and shrugged, brought the cup to my lips, gave me a little sip before all the water was tipped over onto my chest and chin. Cold as hell frozen over water froze my nerves as I gasped. Too much air, too much at once! I felt myself gasping as my lungs constricted with pain. "Damn, Faye," I said breathlessly. I coughed, and the pain in my chest increased. I felt I couldn't breath and the heart monitor picked up the increasing rate of my heart.
Black spots, that's what I was seeing. Actually it was *all* I was seeing.
Then I felt warm hands on may chest, my cheek as Faye struggled to talk to me through turmoil. God, I swear to God she was trying to kill me!
"Spike, relax." She said softly. No yelling? No swearing? Not even a complaint? Odd.
I felt her hands put pressure on my chest as it rose sharply when I tried to gain the breath I lost. God damn it, I came back from the dead only to die like this? If I died now I blamed it all on Faye.
"Spike, just *relax*. Breathe softly, that's it." She sounded as if she knew exactly what she was doing. The hell if she did!
I tried to calm down, like water, fluid. Got to keep it like that, right? I asked myself. Calm...
The heart monitor slowed. The pain receded like waves. I opened my eyes that I hadn't known I had closed and stared into green, green intense worry. Worry for me, Faye? Why?
"I'm fine," I said sharply. The hand on my chest fell away and she turned from me.
"Yeah? Like I care." She stood up straight and glared down at me.
"What?" I asked. "Its not my fault you spilled water on me." She glared at me harder. "Well it wasn't," I protested. And then I smiled. "But hell, you haven't changed."
She stared down at me then. Face blank as slate. "What does that mean?" She asked emotionlessly.
"You're the same Faye I remember," I said yawning. My eyes were incredibly heavy as I strived to keep them open.
"But I don't know if that's a good thing," I muttered.
"Well, you're the same old down on his luck dumbass. *That* was never a good thing to me, Spike." She began to walk away past the damn curtain. Did she think she could hide? I saw the anger in her eyes, it was too late to hide.
"Faye, it was my decision to leave. There was nothing you could have done or said that would have changed what happened," I said, sensing I needed to explain to her that what I had done had been reasonable.
"Ya know, Spike. I never really thought there was." Then she hid behind that damned curtain and I was drifting in sleep that I didn't want to face.
*^*^*^*
She sat on her bed, glared at the clothes in the bag and ripped away the blue hospital gown, throwing on her jeans, white shirt and black boots with a viciousness that surprised even herself when the pain in her body seemed irrelevant to her emotional feelings and barely bothered her. She felt frozen, God she felt as if someone had just removed her emotions and spilled them on the floor at her feet.
Then she began to cry. For no reason the tears came. All that despair, the grief, the uselessness, the hurt, the pain, the guilt that tinged anger, everything from the past came blasting from the part of her she had covered with mind bending band aids.
And Spike...
He wasn't dead! He wasn't a ghost, he wasn't a hallucination, he was real. She touched him, felt his heart beat wildly. She heard his voice, saw his face. Those same awkward eyes had stared back at hers.
Spike...
She stared at his yellow shirt and slipped it on without a thought, tying the ends at her waist as if it were her old red jacket. Then she moved painfully towards the door, limping as the pain in her body registered again, her emotions draining away. Her fingers grazed the doorknob and then she froze.
What if she left and when she came back he was gone? What if she had only been dreaming?
She pulled her hand away from the door as if it burned and she shuffled to his side of the room. She could hear her heart beat in her ears as she prayed it all wasn't something she thought up.
When she turned the curtain she sighed with relief. He was still there, though sleep had taken him, and he lay with his eyes closed, peacefully gone away to dreams. She smiled at the wet spot on the front of the sheet that covered his body. Well, he had deserved it though the moment he had a attack much like a panic attack, she had gotten a little worried. But she knew if he hadn't died the day he left than nothing that small was going to kill him.
So the last two years, Spike had been here, in this bed. He had acted as if he hadn't been up for awhile but there was no way he had been out of it for two years, was there? She shook her head, if he'd been able to, he would have gotten that water himself, why didn't he?
Hospital, obvious weakness, acting as if he hadn't seen the world for the longest time... Pieces fell together and suddenly she was certain.
He *had* been out of it for two years!
She walked towards him and sat on the edge of his bed. So the dreamer had wakened again. The lunkhead, why didn't he just die instead of putting her through the anxiety of hoping that after every adventure that should had killed him he would make it through?
But no, she didn't really want him to die, did she?
She touched his hand, angry that he was alive after she had been trying to cope with his death for two years, two longer than eternity years... But she was happy, she was grateful that he was alive. Two more years, she'd go through it all if that meant he was alive.
She didn't love him, or maybe she did and didn't want to admit it. But she *cared* for him, and that was enough. It was more than most people got from her, and she was satisfied with the fact that life hadn't given up on him even when she had.
She removed her hand from his and stood, walking towards the window, and when she looked at her reflection she saw the reason why she smiled and she didn't have to worry about the emptiness she found in her eyes- there wasn't any.
*^*^*^*^*
Alexa walked in the front doors and pulled off her sunglasses. People stared at her, she had been wearing sunglasses in the dead of night. But she didn't mind the eyes on her, she wore those stares as if she were used to them.
The woman at the front desk looked up at her and smiled less than enthusiastically. "Hello, may I help you?" she asked, her voice high and stuffy.
"Which floor is the infirmary on?" Alexa smiled softly, knowing the answer even after she asked.
"Visiting hours are over for tonight, I'm afraid." The woman shrugged. "Come back tomorrow around nine."
Alexa faked disappointment. "Really? Ma'am, may I ask a favor?" Alexa twisted a strand of her blonde wig in her fingers and bit her lip.
The woman looked up expectantly. "Depends on what it is."
"I've got to see my aunt tonight. See, I'm leaving to go home to Venus tomorrow morning around six AM. I didn't get the call that she was here until a couple minutes ago. And I'm afraid that in her condition she might not make it to the next time that I am able to come back here." Alexa tried to smile but let her lips curled into a sad frown. "Please, please, make this one exception."
The woman looked up at her skeptically. "What's your aunt's name?"
Alexa had been prepared for that. She had made sure to look up a recent patient's name that had had a critical condition other than Faye who didn't have family. "Madeline Shelron."
"One moment please," The woman said as she typed the name on the computer set neatly on her mahogany desk. Alexa looked around the large room that had doors leading everywhere. The ground was a black marble tied with white whisps of white everywhere. Pillars of white marble outlined the walls, and glass doors led here and there like a maze. Then Alexa stared at the large golden dragon logo above the woman's desk and shivered inwardly.
She'd remembered everything, every last detail of this room. She'd only been seventeen when she had first seen it.
"Miss?" the woman asked.
Alexa focused her attention to the woman behind the desk. "Yes?"
"You may go, I've gotten permission to permit you to the infirmary on the tenth floor." The woman smiled with pushed warmth.
Alexa smiled, thanked the woman with praise and shivered when she made her way to the elevators. She really hated people, she hated getting *close* to anyone. She saw talking as the first step in that closeness. She despised men more than anything though. She was far from gay, that wasn't the issue, but it was the fact that every man she loved had turned on her. Rain had merely been the last straw.
She stepped into the elevator and pressed ten, the metal doors closing behind her as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her sunglasses. If Shin was here she couldn't risk him recognizing her. She pulled the blonde wig on her head tighter and tried to make sure that it was on right. Then she waited.
Time to think, she really didn't need it. She'd been thinking all night. But time needed to be filled, silence needed to be ignored and thinking was the only thing she could do it.
So she had to befriend Miss Valentine, she had to get Faye to trust her. But that meant she'd have to trust Faye and trusting really was Alexa's strong suit. What if Faye didn't *want* to trust? Then- What if Shin finds me?
She shivered, God she was doing alot of that today. Where had that come from? Shin, hell he just had to be right there in the middle of everything. She didn't want to think about *him*, or who he was connected with. She didn't want to think of Rain, or any other man who betrayed her and hurt her, and made her afraid of the people they represented. It was because of all of them that she could not look into another man's face without seeing deceit and feeling fear.
And here she was, back at the source of all that fear.
Why? God, she wanted to stop wondering that. There was just so many why's and what if's in her life. She just wanted to forget it all, loose it all to her mind, or maybe to oblivion.
There's no such thing as oblivion, she thought. She watched the light of the elevator scale reach to ten, and then that soft ring vanished all thought and the only thing on her mind was what she had to do. The doors opened. She stepped into the hall, the white empty hall that echoed cries, heart machines, small whispers- different noises of a sleeping hospital. She knew the room Faye was in and she made her way to it without hesitation.
She walked to the front desk and told the nurse she was here to see Madeline Sherlon. The woman nodded her approval behind the desk, motioned to Sherlon's room and went back to whatever 'important' phone call she was taking which consisted of what time the woman was being picked up, what movie they were going to see, and who else was going.
Alexa turned the corner to where Faye was and stopped when she saw Shin standing outside her door. "Damn," she muttered. Whatever she was expecting, she wasn't expecting him there. She took a deep breath, not knowing what the hell she was going to say as she stepped forward with a quick check that her glasses were on securely.
The lights were dim as she stepped up to him and made to go into the room, hoping in vain that he might just let her go.
"Excuse me, Miss?" he asked, as she touched the door.
She sighed and tried to shake the initial shock of his voice when it hit her. She took a deep breath and faced him with an innocent smile. "Yes?"
"Who are you?" He crossed his arms and stared at her as she moved uncomfortably under his gaze. Time that hadn't changed it's intensity.
"Nightengale Townshed," she lied.
He stared at her as if sizing her up, and she could feel perspiration break out on the palms of her hands. His gaze recognized something in her but she could also see uncertainty. It had been a long time since they last met, it was obvious she wasn't who she used to be, and if he did see something in her that sparked memory, she was almost certain in that moment he wouldn't put two and two together. She sighed with relief.
"What are you here for?" He asked skeptically.
"I'm a friend of Faye Valentine," she said softly.
"No you're not," he replied firmly.
Alexa tried to smile. "No, you're right, I'm not her friend, but my mother is her friend, and I am here because of parental orders." Alexa smiled then with sheepish innocence. She made it obvious she was intimidated by Shin but also a made a point to show no fear. After all, what should she fear from a stranger?
"You'll have to wait until tomorrow." Shin uncrossed his arms and went to grab her upper arm to escort her out.
"Wait!" She cried desperately. "Please, sir, I am here because I was sent to find Faye. I've tracked her down from planet to planet for over six months trying to get to her. Unfortunately, I have to leave Mars tomorrow because I have to..." Alexa struggled for a reason. "File for a job or two on Venus where my father lives to help him support the recent medical bills for my mother who is dying." Alexa shook her head. "My mother is dying, I have to talk to Faye, I have to talk to her." Alexa tried to spring tears to her eyes, the nerves in her stomach electrifying some hidden emotions as she put her all into the act. She could hear the hysteria in her voice and thought 'good'. "I promised my mother to talk to Faye for her and now I might have promised without a cause."
She knew what Shin saw now. A pitiful blonde girl who was trying to fulfill one wish that her mother had asked of her. A girl who wanted nothing more than to please and protect what little family she had. Alexa knew she was playing on Shin's own feelings for his family and knew he would not refuse her.
"How did you know she was here?" Shin asked.
"I called Mr. Black a few minutes ago. I got his number by doing a lot of hacking. But I got it, please don't hold the hacking against me, I'm at my last straw." Alexa shook her head, and tried to shake away her tears. Well at least the hacking part was true. After getting Faye's real name it had been easy to find out all about her and her friends.
Shin merely nodded as if making a decision he knew he was going to regret. "Very well, you may go. But if Miss Valentine is asleep you are not permitted to wake her up."
Alexa smiled and wiped the tears away. She could hear her heart beat as she stepped forward to hug him, feeling his surprise as she clung to him for an instant, the familiar feeling swirling around them as she let go too soon.
"Thank you," she said softly and walked into the room.
*^*^*^*
Faye had her back against the wall, her eyes closed, arms crossed as her head bobbed up and down sleepily. Spike slept in front of her as she stood watching over him, trying to stay awake, but failing in the end.
She heard the door open and then close, her senses waking immediately as she stood straight with pain shooting up through her body. Sleeping against the wall had been one of her less intellegent ideas.
She looked over at Spike who was still sleeping and sighed, making her way to whoever stepped in. But the woman came around the curtain before she could make a move and Faye froze.
Flashes of Rain, of the blood, of the pain, and then of her savior who now stood before her.
"Hello, Faye," she said softly, her eyes dark brown, almost black, her voice sweet and accented with something sharp yet soft. Faye saw a blonde wig in her left hand, sunglasses in the other as the woman stepped forward and smiled.
Faye felt strangely at ease with the woman and she relaxed the muscles that she hadn't known had tensed. "Hi," she said with sleep in her voice. The beginning of the sun's rays slipped in the window dimly and illuminated the brown in the woman's hair as she took a look over at Spike.
"Who are you?" Faye asked looking closely at the woman. Close up she looked frail, almost child-like, and yet she had stood up to Rain without fear, without hesitation.
The woman turned to Faye. "My name is Alexa, you may call me Lex, almost everyone does." The woman smiled warmly.
Faye lay back against the wall lazily. "Why did you save me?" Bluntly put.
"Shouldn't I have?"
"No, that's not what I meant." Faye rubbed her head with weariness.
"You should be in bed, you know that?"
"Yeah, I know that." Faye was bitter. She didn't like feeling so helpless. "'Should' doesn't mean I have to be."
"Its close enough," Alexa said smiling. "But I suppose I wouldn't like to feel so helpless so I won't pressure you to sleep if it makes you angry."
"Gee, thanks." Faye sighed and limped over to her side of the room with pain, feeling somewhat protective of Spike. Conversing right over him wasn't perfect to keep him sleeping, though, Faye figured, he could probably sleep through a tornado.
"Are you here because of Rain?" Faye asked and gathered Spike's shirt around her arms shrugging off fear.
Alexa lost whatever smile she had. "Yes, and no."
"That really doesn't give me anything to work with." Faye ran her fingers through her hair. She thought of Rain and shivered with fear. Immediately she felt shame. She was a damn coward.
"Its ok to be scared of him. I am." Alexa admitted looking at Faye and reading her emotions.
Faye looked up sharply. The woman in front of her had faced off with him, how could she be scared? "But, you-" Faye began, wounds screamed to be justified.
"I'm not scared of facing him, or even of who he is. But I am scared of what he's done, and what I couldn't prevent," Alexa said more to herself than to Faye.
Faye didn't understand but decided not push the idea further. "Why are you here?" Her voice worked steadily.
Alexa looked at Faye for a moment and then spoke with a lost expression. "He could come now, he could break all the Red Dragons' defenses." Her voice was distant, her eyes smokey as if she could see it all happening. "He could break in here, kill everyone in sight. Bullets wouldn't stop him, knives, grenades- everything would be useless."
Faye shook her head. She had witnessed it first hand. Her gun had done nothing to stop him, he didn't seem to *feel* the pain. But that didn't mean something more powerful couldn't stop him. Alexa had to be wrong somewhere.
"I see you doubt me. But I'm right, Faye, I'm right about him." The woman didn't plead for her to understand, just merely stated the truth. "You were the only one who ever got away from him, Faye. Rain isn't one who will give up that easily. He wants you dead, and he'll stop at nothing to make sure he gets what he wants."
Faye cleared the lump in her throat. "How can he be stopped?"
Alexa stared at her. "I'm not sure, I am seriously not sure." She looked over at the curtain and shook her head. "He's not invincible. A grenade *could* kill him, but he's just too fast. He could out run the blast before it got within three feet."
Faye felt cold all of a sudden and she could see those white eyes in her mind. They were haunting her like a ghost and God help her, she couldn't banish the memory. "What's going to happen then?" Faye asked staring at the floor. She tried to stay calm.
Alexa went over to the window on the other side of the curtain. Faye limped painfully over next to her and watched the woman's expression, though the woman wore none. The sun was coming up, the buildings were glistening like liquid gold. Faye glanced at the sky, the streets. *He* was out there somewhere... And she wanted him dead.
Alexa turned to Faye, brown eyes intense with seriousness beyond her years. Old, wise, and fearful. Then she opened the window and let the cool breeze in. "He's here," Alexa said looking around.
Alexa had known there were men on the balcony above Faye's window and as she glanced closer she could see the blood dripping from it. The Red Dragons' full proof protection had been breached.
Faye could feel anger and fear mix.
Alexa looked around outside and saw movement on the roof while she talked. "Faye, you can't tell Shin who I am. Pretend you were asleep during my whole visit." Faye could feel fear like she never knew. Damn, she didn't *want* to be scared.
"You didn't know I was here," Alexa said looking up at the rooftop.
Faye nodded. "What now?"
Alexa glanced over her shoulder. "Back away from the window, Faye."
Faye took a step back, her feet numb with something she couldn't explain. Alexa's eyes were cold, narrowed, predatorial. "What happens now, Lex?" Faye asked, her voice steady, her heart beating wildly. Her arm felt cold fire burning in her bones, and she winced. She sat down on Spike's bed, her wounds screaming reality in her body.
Alexa smiled over her shoulder. "You trust me." And with that she jumped out the window, the blonde wig and sunglasses clattering to the floor.
Sun replaced the woman as if she had never been there. Faye could only stare with wide green eyes, before she gasped and turned away.
A/N- what do ya think about that, eh?? :) thanks again Lexi for everything!!
Sorry about the grammar through this whole thing. I rushed through it, and on this little email thingies its really really hard to go back and correct. Aight thanks for reading!!!
There Is No Pride In Love
Leap of Faith
Chapter Three
She looked out her apartment window, the lights of the city reflecting on her face as she turned away to sit at her desk where her computer glared at her. She could feel a part of her give into feelings as she stared at the red dragon on the screen, felt the insecurity that came with that logo that had haunted her for years. She clicked on it with her mouse and typed a few commands that hacked into the main system. After a minute or so the data was done loading and she typed in the command that demanded the medical records of the latest patients cast to the infirmary.
She scrolled down and found the picture of the woman she was looking for. Her information was underneath. Faye Valentine. Broken arm, wrist, dislocated shoulder. Wound to the neck, various blows to the head, cuts and scrapes scattered over the body. She read further and sighed with relief when Faye's latest check up stated she would recover without problems.
Alexa sat back in her seat and stretched slightly reaching for her coffee. She sipped lightly staring at the green eyes on the screen through the steam of her cup. So the woman Rain was after was named Faye Valentine. Pretty name- one Rain likely didn't know- and now that the face had one it made the puzzle of how to protect the woman a little more complete. After all, Rain never gave up on unfinished business and neither did she. Now she was one more step ahead.
Alexa took another sip of her caffeine and tried to wash away the weariness that had taken its course on her the last few days since she had last seen Rain. And Rain, God he was the last *thing* on earth she wanted to think about. But Alexa faced the truth in her mind even if she didn't realize it. To protect Faye she would have to confront Rain and stop him by herself. And *not* finding any way to guard Faye would be murder- if Alexa could prevent Rain from getting to Faye then it was her responsibility to do so. And if she didn't, she was just as responsible for that death than Rain.
'Where were you for the others he killed?' A voice asked her angrily.
Alexa shook her head knowing she had been responsible for those deaths that Rain had taken just as much as he was. She'd watched from a distance, not wanting to confront him again. Not after living with him and watching him change... Fear had stopped her cold and stole the innocence with undying guilt that followed her everywhere. And yet fear shouldn't have been an excuse.
She hated to admit that she was still scared of him. But that fear was slowly going away and saving that Valentine woman had cut her ties with him or whatever control he had over her, forever.
'Forever...' The word resounded in her thoughts like a broken record. But any power he had over her was gone, she knew she had a right to reassure herself and not think otherwise.
'Forever...'
She sat back. Was it really forever? Of course it was, why was she doubting herself? She took a huge swallow of coffee, the liquid burning down her throat as if in reprimand.
'Forever...'
As the last echo sounded through her mind she was almost certain that forever wasn't as long as she thought.
*^*^*^*
Coffee. He needed coffee. The cigarettes just weren't cutting it anymore. His head hurt, his eyes burned and the damn cigarettes weren't doing a damn thing about the weariness that was setting into his body at the moment. Faye was alive, thank God, but she was pissed as hell, and God knew he didn't have the patience to make her see reason about the situation at the moment without *some* kind of stabilizing drug in his system. He'd waited three days for her to wake up, went through more packs of cigarettes than he did in a whole year, and finally, when she was alive enough to the world to become coherent she was a hellcat, and to top that off the cigarettes weren't working!
He smiled to himself tiredly. But what, more or less, was he expecting from her truthfully? Certainly not a sound little princess sitting prim on her throne with manners and etiquette with a warm welcoming to the ones that saved her life. No, that really wasn't Faye, was it?
He needed caffeine desperately. Nicotine wasn't enough for his body that cried 'Sleep, need sleep. Sleep, damn you!'. He rubbed his eyes and threw down the cigarette in his hand, glaring at it after he crushed it with his shoe as if it betrayed him in some way. "Cheap ass drug," he muttered as he rubbed his head with his metal hand. He sighed and leaned on to the door of Faye's room, closing his eyes to relish in the feeling of satisfaction when sleep was on the verge of taking him. The infirmary hallway was rather peaceful from where he stood and peace was what he needed.
"Mr. Black," a voice said softly.
He opened his eyes and yawned. "Yeah?" Then he froze when he saw who it was and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. Shin stared at him with stern trust and Jet stared back with an almost glare of indifference. He wasn't angry with the man, Spike's death wasn't his fault directly, but he really had no desire to be *friends* with Shin either.
Shin seemed to sense Jet's cold shoulder and yet he pressed his back against the wall next to Jet and shrugged slightly. "How's she doing?" Shin asked as if he didn't already know. He had seemed to know everything before hand, why play dumb now?
Jet shook his head trying to sort through all that Shin knew, knowing the Dragon leader might know more about the Bebop crew than Jet himself did. After all, Shin was the one who called Jet to tell him Faye was in the hospital. It was Shin who knew his number on the Bebop. It was Shin who knew that Jet was *even* on the Bebop. It was Shin who had known Faye's name even when she didn't have any ID on her. And it was Shin who knew that both Jet and Faye had even known Spike, which was why the Red Dragons were even bothering to help to rescue, treat, and protect her.
"Why are you helping her?" Jet had asked when Shin had explained Faye's situation. Jet hadn't been mad like Faye but he had certainly wanted nothing to do with the Syndicate that stole his friend away.
"Because Spike would want me to offer my services to his friends." And with that Shin had left the vid-screen blank, sending the coordinates to where Faye was being held.
And now here he was- in the whiter than heaven hallway of the infirmary of the Red Dragons.
"Faye's Faye, there's no cure for that." Jet shrugged, grabbed another cigarette in his pocket and lit up with a smile.
Shin seemed to smile as well, but only faintly. "Mr. Black, there's something you and I must discuss." He stood straight and looked seriously at the older man.
"There's alot of things we have to 'discuss'. How about starting with how the hell you knew the things you did?" Jet inhaled and exhaled smoke that was supposed to calm his nerves.
"Things I knew?" Shin asked a little confused.
"Yeah. Like how you knew it was Faye you rescued when I know for a fact she had no ID whatsoever on her?" Jet threw the cigarette down. He felt anger bubbling up inside him. Fine that he didn't hate the Red Dragons personally. Fine that he could put the past behind him, but when that past started nosing around where it wasn't wanted... Well thats when things weren't 'fine' in Jet's book.
Shin was silent for a long moment. "I don't feel I need to explain myself." He tucked his hands in his pocket and Jet nearly decked him.
"What the hell do you mean 'I don't feel I need to explain myself'?" Jet said standing to his full height. "It's my business to know who knows about me. If it concerns me then anyone whose in on it better explain themselves, whether they want to or not."Jet took an intimidated step towards Shin.
Shin stood his ground and in a less-than-neutral voice he spoke sternly. "Mr. Black, I have just rescued your friend and I have also offered her the finest protection I could. Understand that Miss Valentine and now *you* have more than declined my offer on my offense. And whether you are important to Spike or not, I will *not* offer twice. So think carefully on what you want to do or say." Shin's eyes narrowed. "I will not be given orders from someone I helped. As far as I am concerned you and your lady friend take too much for granted." He stepped up to Jet who was shooting darts with his eyes knowing that he *was* acting ungrateful, but he had a right to know how Shin knew all he did!
"I would also like to remind you that you are surrounded by Red Dragon agents and at any moment I could call them to take you to our prisoner cells shall you get out of hand." Shin softened his voice then. "I don't want to do that, but if you keep arguing with me and demanding things I feel I have the right not to answer I am afraid that you will take the battle to a more physical ground. So please, Mr. Black, try to be reasonable."
'Be reasonable...' The words rang through him. Hadn't he been reasonable when he asked for a simple explanation? God damnitt, why didn't people listen to what was in front of their faces nowadays? He was being 'reasonable'! *He* wasn't hiding behind mystery like a coward.
He needed caffeine.
"Where's the cafeteria?" Jet moved past Shin without an answer.
"Mr. Black we do have to talk," said Shin and Jet nodded in agreement- they *would* talk... After he had caffeine.
*^*^*^*
(Spike's Narrative)
I could feel consciousness slipping from my grasp. I was so close, so damn close to seeing, feeling, and so help me, living as well. I wanted to live, God, anything to get me out of the darkness that was becoming hot with memories of all that was and wasn't. What I did and what I failed to do. My sins, my undying guilt for all that blood stained on my hands. I couldn't die, Julia's memory wouldn't let me rest until I did, and all I wanted was to get away from the darkness.
'She told me to go,' I thought bitterly. 'She *wanted* me to go.'
I felt hurt, betrayed even when I knew she had seen reason where I hadn't. I owed my friends my help. They needed it for some reason, and I had the responsibility to give it.
I saw her, the purple haired harlot that had been the pain in my ass ever since we met. My eyes, they strained to see her face, the white ivory of her skin, the piercing green of her eyes, her pink lips pale of color.
"Faye," I whispered. Was that my voice? I could barely hear it. God, I wished that I could just bounce back to living like I used to.
"Spike? Oh, God, is it really you?"
Tears- she was crying- just like she had when I walked out the door. Those tears had been there, unshed, deeply felt, and I hadn't cared. I still didn't. But to see her face, to know she cared that I lived even when I didn't give a damn meant something to me.
My vision was blurry but I was becoming more awake, more alert. My body, it was stiff, I felt as if someone had taken me through an ice age and back with the slight pain it took to move my lips and speak. "Faye," I said again. I couldn't say anything else. I mean what else could I say? 'Hey, I'm back. Miss me?'?
My vision was clearing, the oxygen tubes in my nose hissed as I took a deep breath, my heart monitor beeped next to me as I looked around. A hospital room surrounded me. How the hell did I get here? There was a window with bright lights like colored stars that filled the room with light to my left. The colors filled her face with sparkling rivers running down her cheeks. Then I saw them, the bruises and cuts that hung on her ivory skin like crimson and purple grimaces. The white bandages that wrapped her forehead were like lightening to my system.
Someone had beaten the shit out of Faye and I wasn't sure I cared.
I tried to smile though my cheeks felt as if I hadn't smiled in a century. "What happened to you?" I asked with the same casualty I had had before, back on the Bebop. My voice was still a little raspy and I could feel the sand paper my throat had become.
Faye sat back on her heels next to my bed and grimaced in pain. Her right arm was wrapped from shoulder to hand, and the blue hospital shirt she wore hung off her pale form that glistened with fear.
Of me?
"I thought you were dead," she said as if she were afraid someone would hear. She had avoided my question... I tried to shrug but found I could barely could move my arms or legs, much less my chest or shoulders. Tired, weak, that's what I felt all at once. Frustration, anger, added to the conjuring of my emotions and made me feel kind of hollow. "Well, I'm not, so don't act as if it's my funeral, okay?" I said as I coughed. I grunted as I moved my hand just for the sake of moving *something*. Progress, little as it was, felt good.
"Stop acting as if I care," Faye said in her same old haughty tone. I half smiled. Now, this was the Faye I knew.
"Well, I guess I was wrong then," I said trying again to shrug.
But now, first things first, I thought. Water! Hell, I needed something to drink. Then after that I needed food, good, greasy, hot, spicy, yummy food! Then, my brain would be working, and I could figure out where the hell I was.
"Faye, would it be too much if I asked you to get me a drink of water?" I asked trying my best to move around. No go, a twitch here and there was all I got.
Faye smiled ironically. The tears were only vapor trails now and she stood with a grimace. "Sure Spike, after two years, I suppose I could get you a drink." She limped away with clenched teeth, the tightening in her jaw obvious to me even when she walked away passed a curtain on my right.
Had she said two years? Two years!
No, she had to have been teasing. I couldn't have been out of it for two years. No, I wouldn't believe it, it just wasn't possible to be asleep that long. Sure, a couple times I had had a couple drinks and slept a few days afterwards before, but I've never slept for two years!
Faye limped back, her eyes burning with determination as a glass slopped clear, refreshing liquid. My throat suddenly felt all the drier. "Damn, I had to open two closets before I found the bathroom," she muttered.
"Poor you," I said sarcastically.
Bad move.
She glared at me then smiled that I-got-something-up-sleeve smile. "How badly do you want this water, Spike?" She asked coyly.
I groaned. Damn.
"Oh, that bad, eh?" She smiled and motioned to bring the glass she held in her hands closer to me. "And I suppose you want me to hold it while you drink like a little bitty baby?"
"Faye, c'mon." I was in desperate need of water. My mouth had gone so dry I felt as if I could sand a splintered piece of wood just by swallowing.
She smiled and shrugged, brought the cup to my lips, gave me a little sip before all the water was tipped over onto my chest and chin. Cold as hell frozen over water froze my nerves as I gasped. Too much air, too much at once! I felt myself gasping as my lungs constricted with pain. "Damn, Faye," I said breathlessly. I coughed, and the pain in my chest increased. I felt I couldn't breath and the heart monitor picked up the increasing rate of my heart.
Black spots, that's what I was seeing. Actually it was *all* I was seeing.
Then I felt warm hands on may chest, my cheek as Faye struggled to talk to me through turmoil. God, I swear to God she was trying to kill me!
"Spike, relax." She said softly. No yelling? No swearing? Not even a complaint? Odd.
I felt her hands put pressure on my chest as it rose sharply when I tried to gain the breath I lost. God damn it, I came back from the dead only to die like this? If I died now I blamed it all on Faye.
"Spike, just *relax*. Breathe softly, that's it." She sounded as if she knew exactly what she was doing. The hell if she did!
I tried to calm down, like water, fluid. Got to keep it like that, right? I asked myself. Calm...
The heart monitor slowed. The pain receded like waves. I opened my eyes that I hadn't known I had closed and stared into green, green intense worry. Worry for me, Faye? Why?
"I'm fine," I said sharply. The hand on my chest fell away and she turned from me.
"Yeah? Like I care." She stood up straight and glared down at me.
"What?" I asked. "Its not my fault you spilled water on me." She glared at me harder. "Well it wasn't," I protested. And then I smiled. "But hell, you haven't changed."
She stared down at me then. Face blank as slate. "What does that mean?" She asked emotionlessly.
"You're the same Faye I remember," I said yawning. My eyes were incredibly heavy as I strived to keep them open.
"But I don't know if that's a good thing," I muttered.
"Well, you're the same old down on his luck dumbass. *That* was never a good thing to me, Spike." She began to walk away past the damn curtain. Did she think she could hide? I saw the anger in her eyes, it was too late to hide.
"Faye, it was my decision to leave. There was nothing you could have done or said that would have changed what happened," I said, sensing I needed to explain to her that what I had done had been reasonable.
"Ya know, Spike. I never really thought there was." Then she hid behind that damned curtain and I was drifting in sleep that I didn't want to face.
*^*^*^*
She sat on her bed, glared at the clothes in the bag and ripped away the blue hospital gown, throwing on her jeans, white shirt and black boots with a viciousness that surprised even herself when the pain in her body seemed irrelevant to her emotional feelings and barely bothered her. She felt frozen, God she felt as if someone had just removed her emotions and spilled them on the floor at her feet.
Then she began to cry. For no reason the tears came. All that despair, the grief, the uselessness, the hurt, the pain, the guilt that tinged anger, everything from the past came blasting from the part of her she had covered with mind bending band aids.
And Spike...
He wasn't dead! He wasn't a ghost, he wasn't a hallucination, he was real. She touched him, felt his heart beat wildly. She heard his voice, saw his face. Those same awkward eyes had stared back at hers.
Spike...
She stared at his yellow shirt and slipped it on without a thought, tying the ends at her waist as if it were her old red jacket. Then she moved painfully towards the door, limping as the pain in her body registered again, her emotions draining away. Her fingers grazed the doorknob and then she froze.
What if she left and when she came back he was gone? What if she had only been dreaming?
She pulled her hand away from the door as if it burned and she shuffled to his side of the room. She could hear her heart beat in her ears as she prayed it all wasn't something she thought up.
When she turned the curtain she sighed with relief. He was still there, though sleep had taken him, and he lay with his eyes closed, peacefully gone away to dreams. She smiled at the wet spot on the front of the sheet that covered his body. Well, he had deserved it though the moment he had a attack much like a panic attack, she had gotten a little worried. But she knew if he hadn't died the day he left than nothing that small was going to kill him.
So the last two years, Spike had been here, in this bed. He had acted as if he hadn't been up for awhile but there was no way he had been out of it for two years, was there? She shook her head, if he'd been able to, he would have gotten that water himself, why didn't he?
Hospital, obvious weakness, acting as if he hadn't seen the world for the longest time... Pieces fell together and suddenly she was certain.
He *had* been out of it for two years!
She walked towards him and sat on the edge of his bed. So the dreamer had wakened again. The lunkhead, why didn't he just die instead of putting her through the anxiety of hoping that after every adventure that should had killed him he would make it through?
But no, she didn't really want him to die, did she?
She touched his hand, angry that he was alive after she had been trying to cope with his death for two years, two longer than eternity years... But she was happy, she was grateful that he was alive. Two more years, she'd go through it all if that meant he was alive.
She didn't love him, or maybe she did and didn't want to admit it. But she *cared* for him, and that was enough. It was more than most people got from her, and she was satisfied with the fact that life hadn't given up on him even when she had.
She removed her hand from his and stood, walking towards the window, and when she looked at her reflection she saw the reason why she smiled and she didn't have to worry about the emptiness she found in her eyes- there wasn't any.
*^*^*^*^*
Alexa walked in the front doors and pulled off her sunglasses. People stared at her, she had been wearing sunglasses in the dead of night. But she didn't mind the eyes on her, she wore those stares as if she were used to them.
The woman at the front desk looked up at her and smiled less than enthusiastically. "Hello, may I help you?" she asked, her voice high and stuffy.
"Which floor is the infirmary on?" Alexa smiled softly, knowing the answer even after she asked.
"Visiting hours are over for tonight, I'm afraid." The woman shrugged. "Come back tomorrow around nine."
Alexa faked disappointment. "Really? Ma'am, may I ask a favor?" Alexa twisted a strand of her blonde wig in her fingers and bit her lip.
The woman looked up expectantly. "Depends on what it is."
"I've got to see my aunt tonight. See, I'm leaving to go home to Venus tomorrow morning around six AM. I didn't get the call that she was here until a couple minutes ago. And I'm afraid that in her condition she might not make it to the next time that I am able to come back here." Alexa tried to smile but let her lips curled into a sad frown. "Please, please, make this one exception."
The woman looked up at her skeptically. "What's your aunt's name?"
Alexa had been prepared for that. She had made sure to look up a recent patient's name that had had a critical condition other than Faye who didn't have family. "Madeline Shelron."
"One moment please," The woman said as she typed the name on the computer set neatly on her mahogany desk. Alexa looked around the large room that had doors leading everywhere. The ground was a black marble tied with white whisps of white everywhere. Pillars of white marble outlined the walls, and glass doors led here and there like a maze. Then Alexa stared at the large golden dragon logo above the woman's desk and shivered inwardly.
She'd remembered everything, every last detail of this room. She'd only been seventeen when she had first seen it.
"Miss?" the woman asked.
Alexa focused her attention to the woman behind the desk. "Yes?"
"You may go, I've gotten permission to permit you to the infirmary on the tenth floor." The woman smiled with pushed warmth.
Alexa smiled, thanked the woman with praise and shivered when she made her way to the elevators. She really hated people, she hated getting *close* to anyone. She saw talking as the first step in that closeness. She despised men more than anything though. She was far from gay, that wasn't the issue, but it was the fact that every man she loved had turned on her. Rain had merely been the last straw.
She stepped into the elevator and pressed ten, the metal doors closing behind her as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her sunglasses. If Shin was here she couldn't risk him recognizing her. She pulled the blonde wig on her head tighter and tried to make sure that it was on right. Then she waited.
Time to think, she really didn't need it. She'd been thinking all night. But time needed to be filled, silence needed to be ignored and thinking was the only thing she could do it.
So she had to befriend Miss Valentine, she had to get Faye to trust her. But that meant she'd have to trust Faye and trusting really was Alexa's strong suit. What if Faye didn't *want* to trust? Then- What if Shin finds me?
She shivered, God she was doing alot of that today. Where had that come from? Shin, hell he just had to be right there in the middle of everything. She didn't want to think about *him*, or who he was connected with. She didn't want to think of Rain, or any other man who betrayed her and hurt her, and made her afraid of the people they represented. It was because of all of them that she could not look into another man's face without seeing deceit and feeling fear.
And here she was, back at the source of all that fear.
Why? God, she wanted to stop wondering that. There was just so many why's and what if's in her life. She just wanted to forget it all, loose it all to her mind, or maybe to oblivion.
There's no such thing as oblivion, she thought. She watched the light of the elevator scale reach to ten, and then that soft ring vanished all thought and the only thing on her mind was what she had to do. The doors opened. She stepped into the hall, the white empty hall that echoed cries, heart machines, small whispers- different noises of a sleeping hospital. She knew the room Faye was in and she made her way to it without hesitation.
She walked to the front desk and told the nurse she was here to see Madeline Sherlon. The woman nodded her approval behind the desk, motioned to Sherlon's room and went back to whatever 'important' phone call she was taking which consisted of what time the woman was being picked up, what movie they were going to see, and who else was going.
Alexa turned the corner to where Faye was and stopped when she saw Shin standing outside her door. "Damn," she muttered. Whatever she was expecting, she wasn't expecting him there. She took a deep breath, not knowing what the hell she was going to say as she stepped forward with a quick check that her glasses were on securely.
The lights were dim as she stepped up to him and made to go into the room, hoping in vain that he might just let her go.
"Excuse me, Miss?" he asked, as she touched the door.
She sighed and tried to shake the initial shock of his voice when it hit her. She took a deep breath and faced him with an innocent smile. "Yes?"
"Who are you?" He crossed his arms and stared at her as she moved uncomfortably under his gaze. Time that hadn't changed it's intensity.
"Nightengale Townshed," she lied.
He stared at her as if sizing her up, and she could feel perspiration break out on the palms of her hands. His gaze recognized something in her but she could also see uncertainty. It had been a long time since they last met, it was obvious she wasn't who she used to be, and if he did see something in her that sparked memory, she was almost certain in that moment he wouldn't put two and two together. She sighed with relief.
"What are you here for?" He asked skeptically.
"I'm a friend of Faye Valentine," she said softly.
"No you're not," he replied firmly.
Alexa tried to smile. "No, you're right, I'm not her friend, but my mother is her friend, and I am here because of parental orders." Alexa smiled then with sheepish innocence. She made it obvious she was intimidated by Shin but also a made a point to show no fear. After all, what should she fear from a stranger?
"You'll have to wait until tomorrow." Shin uncrossed his arms and went to grab her upper arm to escort her out.
"Wait!" She cried desperately. "Please, sir, I am here because I was sent to find Faye. I've tracked her down from planet to planet for over six months trying to get to her. Unfortunately, I have to leave Mars tomorrow because I have to..." Alexa struggled for a reason. "File for a job or two on Venus where my father lives to help him support the recent medical bills for my mother who is dying." Alexa shook her head. "My mother is dying, I have to talk to Faye, I have to talk to her." Alexa tried to spring tears to her eyes, the nerves in her stomach electrifying some hidden emotions as she put her all into the act. She could hear the hysteria in her voice and thought 'good'. "I promised my mother to talk to Faye for her and now I might have promised without a cause."
She knew what Shin saw now. A pitiful blonde girl who was trying to fulfill one wish that her mother had asked of her. A girl who wanted nothing more than to please and protect what little family she had. Alexa knew she was playing on Shin's own feelings for his family and knew he would not refuse her.
"How did you know she was here?" Shin asked.
"I called Mr. Black a few minutes ago. I got his number by doing a lot of hacking. But I got it, please don't hold the hacking against me, I'm at my last straw." Alexa shook her head, and tried to shake away her tears. Well at least the hacking part was true. After getting Faye's real name it had been easy to find out all about her and her friends.
Shin merely nodded as if making a decision he knew he was going to regret. "Very well, you may go. But if Miss Valentine is asleep you are not permitted to wake her up."
Alexa smiled and wiped the tears away. She could hear her heart beat as she stepped forward to hug him, feeling his surprise as she clung to him for an instant, the familiar feeling swirling around them as she let go too soon.
"Thank you," she said softly and walked into the room.
*^*^*^*
Faye had her back against the wall, her eyes closed, arms crossed as her head bobbed up and down sleepily. Spike slept in front of her as she stood watching over him, trying to stay awake, but failing in the end.
She heard the door open and then close, her senses waking immediately as she stood straight with pain shooting up through her body. Sleeping against the wall had been one of her less intellegent ideas.
She looked over at Spike who was still sleeping and sighed, making her way to whoever stepped in. But the woman came around the curtain before she could make a move and Faye froze.
Flashes of Rain, of the blood, of the pain, and then of her savior who now stood before her.
"Hello, Faye," she said softly, her eyes dark brown, almost black, her voice sweet and accented with something sharp yet soft. Faye saw a blonde wig in her left hand, sunglasses in the other as the woman stepped forward and smiled.
Faye felt strangely at ease with the woman and she relaxed the muscles that she hadn't known had tensed. "Hi," she said with sleep in her voice. The beginning of the sun's rays slipped in the window dimly and illuminated the brown in the woman's hair as she took a look over at Spike.
"Who are you?" Faye asked looking closely at the woman. Close up she looked frail, almost child-like, and yet she had stood up to Rain without fear, without hesitation.
The woman turned to Faye. "My name is Alexa, you may call me Lex, almost everyone does." The woman smiled warmly.
Faye lay back against the wall lazily. "Why did you save me?" Bluntly put.
"Shouldn't I have?"
"No, that's not what I meant." Faye rubbed her head with weariness.
"You should be in bed, you know that?"
"Yeah, I know that." Faye was bitter. She didn't like feeling so helpless. "'Should' doesn't mean I have to be."
"Its close enough," Alexa said smiling. "But I suppose I wouldn't like to feel so helpless so I won't pressure you to sleep if it makes you angry."
"Gee, thanks." Faye sighed and limped over to her side of the room with pain, feeling somewhat protective of Spike. Conversing right over him wasn't perfect to keep him sleeping, though, Faye figured, he could probably sleep through a tornado.
"Are you here because of Rain?" Faye asked and gathered Spike's shirt around her arms shrugging off fear.
Alexa lost whatever smile she had. "Yes, and no."
"That really doesn't give me anything to work with." Faye ran her fingers through her hair. She thought of Rain and shivered with fear. Immediately she felt shame. She was a damn coward.
"Its ok to be scared of him. I am." Alexa admitted looking at Faye and reading her emotions.
Faye looked up sharply. The woman in front of her had faced off with him, how could she be scared? "But, you-" Faye began, wounds screamed to be justified.
"I'm not scared of facing him, or even of who he is. But I am scared of what he's done, and what I couldn't prevent," Alexa said more to herself than to Faye.
Faye didn't understand but decided not push the idea further. "Why are you here?" Her voice worked steadily.
Alexa looked at Faye for a moment and then spoke with a lost expression. "He could come now, he could break all the Red Dragons' defenses." Her voice was distant, her eyes smokey as if she could see it all happening. "He could break in here, kill everyone in sight. Bullets wouldn't stop him, knives, grenades- everything would be useless."
Faye shook her head. She had witnessed it first hand. Her gun had done nothing to stop him, he didn't seem to *feel* the pain. But that didn't mean something more powerful couldn't stop him. Alexa had to be wrong somewhere.
"I see you doubt me. But I'm right, Faye, I'm right about him." The woman didn't plead for her to understand, just merely stated the truth. "You were the only one who ever got away from him, Faye. Rain isn't one who will give up that easily. He wants you dead, and he'll stop at nothing to make sure he gets what he wants."
Faye cleared the lump in her throat. "How can he be stopped?"
Alexa stared at her. "I'm not sure, I am seriously not sure." She looked over at the curtain and shook her head. "He's not invincible. A grenade *could* kill him, but he's just too fast. He could out run the blast before it got within three feet."
Faye felt cold all of a sudden and she could see those white eyes in her mind. They were haunting her like a ghost and God help her, she couldn't banish the memory. "What's going to happen then?" Faye asked staring at the floor. She tried to stay calm.
Alexa went over to the window on the other side of the curtain. Faye limped painfully over next to her and watched the woman's expression, though the woman wore none. The sun was coming up, the buildings were glistening like liquid gold. Faye glanced at the sky, the streets. *He* was out there somewhere... And she wanted him dead.
Alexa turned to Faye, brown eyes intense with seriousness beyond her years. Old, wise, and fearful. Then she opened the window and let the cool breeze in. "He's here," Alexa said looking around.
Alexa had known there were men on the balcony above Faye's window and as she glanced closer she could see the blood dripping from it. The Red Dragons' full proof protection had been breached.
Faye could feel anger and fear mix.
Alexa looked around outside and saw movement on the roof while she talked. "Faye, you can't tell Shin who I am. Pretend you were asleep during my whole visit." Faye could feel fear like she never knew. Damn, she didn't *want* to be scared.
"You didn't know I was here," Alexa said looking up at the rooftop.
Faye nodded. "What now?"
Alexa glanced over her shoulder. "Back away from the window, Faye."
Faye took a step back, her feet numb with something she couldn't explain. Alexa's eyes were cold, narrowed, predatorial. "What happens now, Lex?" Faye asked, her voice steady, her heart beating wildly. Her arm felt cold fire burning in her bones, and she winced. She sat down on Spike's bed, her wounds screaming reality in her body.
Alexa smiled over her shoulder. "You trust me." And with that she jumped out the window, the blonde wig and sunglasses clattering to the floor.
Sun replaced the woman as if she had never been there. Faye could only stare with wide green eyes, before she gasped and turned away.
A/N- what do ya think about that, eh?? :) thanks again Lexi for everything!!
Sorry about the grammar through this whole thing. I rushed through it, and on this little email thingies its really really hard to go back and correct. Aight thanks for reading!!!