A Pizza Down Under
By: Rosemary Durda and Candace E. G. Fox
Characters Bobàmain character Charlesette- Bob's twin sister Freddy Boy- Bob's baby brother Mr. and Mrs. O- Bob's mom and dad
Bob's Friends
Petunia Flea
Sam the Ham
Other Characters
the Ewoks Princess Leia Chewbacca Han Solo Bob the Big Bad Blob Peepers Luke Skywalker R2-D2 C3PO Scary Sam Miz Z
Setting
-In the Outback (Australia) in the desert -Miz Z's space station -the Millenuim Falcon -in Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop -in space
Plot
?
More Characters
A giant pink spider, Walla Wallas, Peepers, Mortimer, Oswald, Chilly Willy, Millard, the invisible weirdo, fish kabobs, the Odders, a blue pineapple, lots of HAM, all of Miz Z's food, pizza, the Millenium Falcon, Peeper's disco CDs, Bob & Luke's lightsaber, Fuel Cave, the giant piece of moldy cheese, Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop
One mighty fine hot day in a desert in Australia, the kangaroos were a- jumping around, the desert animals were loooking for a palm tree for shade and Bob O was looking for Sam the Ham. Now, Sam the Ham wasn't actually a ham. He was a person, just like Bob, and loved pizza, just like Bob. And on this fine day, he was wandering around searching for Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop. Insead, he found Bob and said, "Bob, where is it? I'm awfully hungry and thirsty and I've been walking for miles and if you made it disappear, re-appear it because I'm hungry and thirsty and.
"Sam the Ham! Why don't you turn around! You just might find it!" said Bob.
"O my! Why, Golly Gee! There it is!"
And Sam the Ham took 2 steps and was in the pizza shop that wasn't named after him but still had his name.
Bob was now staring at this huge pizza with cheese, ham, pineapple, anchovies and more ham on it. It was called the Big Sammy. The rest of his family, Charlesette, Freddy Boy, Mr. & Mrs. O, plus Sam the Ham, sat down with him.
Just then, Bob said, "O no you don't! This here pizza's mine and I'm going to eat all 33 pieces by myself, mateys!"
And that's just what he did. Just then, he heard a giant KABOOM! and he was blasted off into space. He landed on the moon.
"I always wondered if it was made out of cheese," he said, "and now I'll find out!"
But just then he heard a BANG! and he was blasted further into space. This time he landed on a forest planet with huge trees in a different galaxy. There he found a really fast thing that looked like a motorcycle with no wheels. Just then, before he was going to crash into a tree, he jumped off.
"Whew, that was close! I could've been smashed to smithereens!"
Then, he saw something lying on the ground. He picked it up and this long flashlight-looking thing came out of it. He accidentally hit a branch with it and the branch fell off!
"Yikes, this thing is dangerous! I'll save it and bring it back to Australia with me as a souvenir," said Bob, "just in case anyone tries to steal my pizza."
Just then, he heard a SQUEAK! (or something that sounded like a squeak) and a furry little bear came out. "I come in peace. Greetings, furry little bear!" said Bob.
"Hi. We're the Ewoks, and we live on this oddly planet," said one of the Ewoks.
"O. My name's Bob. I live on the planet Earth. I don't know how I got here. A few minutes ago, I was eating pizza and now I'm here. It this weird or what?" asked Bob.
"That is very weird, BOB, just like your name," said an Ewok.
"Ha, ha, hardy-har-har. Now is there any way you can get me back to Earth?" asked Bob.
"You could fly one of those very fast things back to Earth," said an Ewok.
"I don't think so. I have a feeling that Earth is on the other side of the universe. But guess what? I got a free souvenir flashlight!" said Bob.
"Hey, be careful with that! It's not a flashlight. Some weirdoes brought it here. That's a weapon!" said one of the Ewoks.
"O. Bye-bye!" said Bob.
And with that, he heard a BOING! and was off to another planet.
"Yo ho! What do we have here?" asked Bob as he surveyed to mountains of cheese, piles of pepperoni, hills of ham and valleys of sauce.
"I'm going to eat all 10,000,000 miles of it all by myself! Yummy!"
And he did. Just after he ate the last bite, he realized that he would have no place to stand.
"O no!" exclaimed Bob unhappily.
But then this really fast ship came along. It pulled up alongside Bob and the doors opened. Then a very big, very furry thing came out.
"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeeeee don't eat me? I'm too young to die!" cried out Bob.
"I'm not going to eat you, I'm going to save you," replied to furry thing, "by the way, I'm Chewbacca."
Bob climbed into the ship. Then some weirdo with buns around her ears came over.
"Hello, I'm Princess Leia. Those other people are Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and my twin. What's your name?" said the weirdo.
"Bob," Bob said.
"O, Bob. That's a nice name," said Leia.
"Not O, Bob, Bob O," corrected Bob, "I'm trying to get back to Earth."
"O. Well perhaps we could take you there. Climb aboard our ship, the Millennium Falcon."
So he did, and they blasted off to light speed. Half way there the Millennium Falcon ran out of fuel and they had to stop at the nearest planet. That planet, unfortunately, was home to Bob the Big Bad Blob and Scary Sam. The mountains were white with bones and the streets were deserted.
"There sure is a lot of snow on those mountains," commented Han.
"Yeah, I wonder why," replied Luke.
"O, I know all about this place," said a strange voice.
Bob turned around and 2 strange metal things walked out of the ship.
"Yikes! Who are you?" asked Bob.
"We are C3PO and R2-D2," replied the goldish one, "and this place is terrorized by two evil monsters."
"Hey, maybe I could use this flashlight-looking this to kill them."
"No! You can't do that! If you look at them you will either be turned into a pile of dust or a piece of moldy cheese, depending on the monster," cried C3PO.
"Hey! Wait a minute! That flashlight-looking thing is my lightsaber. I've been looking for that, too! I thought that I left it on Hoth. Where did you find it?" questioned Luke.
"It was on the forest moon with some furry little bears," said Bob.
"Can I have it back?" asked Luke.
"No! It's mine! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" taunted Bob.
"Hey! Stop fighting!" cut in Han sharply.
"Gleep glorp fe fi fo," said R2-D2.
"What did he say?" asked Bob. "Let's get out of here! There's the monsters," translated C3PO.
"Uh, oh," they exclaimed in unison.
"Roar," said the monsters.
"Yikes, that sounded close. Let's find some fuel and get out of here," said Bob.
"Where are we supposed to find fuel here?" asked C3PO.
"I don't know, but we'd better get out of here somehow. And another thing. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. A few hours ago, I was happily chowing down on a Big Sammy pizza in Australia back on Earth and now I'm here with you! This seems like a crazy dream!" said Bob.
"Well, it's not and we're going to be turned into a pile of dust or a piece of moldy cheese if we don't get out of here," said Han.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and all of them, even the spaceship, were flying through space and then they landed on another planet.
"For the first time, I was glad to hear that BOING!" said Bob.
"Yeah, me too. But where are we now? I've never heard about this planet before," said Luke.
"Yuck! This place smells disgusting!" said Bob disgustedly.
"According to R2's calculations, this isn't a planet," reported C3PO.
"Well, then what is it? An asteroid?" asked Leia.
"We're not quite sure," said C3PO.
"Well, since we have nothing to do, let's look for some fuel," said Han. "Okay," they all agreed.
"I still think this place smells awful," added Bob.
"Yuck, the ground is all moldy," said Chewbacca.
"According to R2's calculations this is a giant floating piece of moldy cheese," said C3PO.
"Yeah, right," said Bob, "that's impossible. Giant pieces of moldy cheese don't just float around in space. And anyway, where did it come from?"
"I don't know, but that's what it is, OK? Ya got a problem with that, Bob?" asked C3PO.
"Yeah, my problem is that you always know everything and act perfect. Why don't you just be quiet 4 once?" Bob said.
"All right, quit fighting. Let's all split up and look for fuel," commanded Han.
"Walla walla biggly bok shofeee," said R2.
"What'd he say, Mr. Know-it-all?" asked Bob.
"According to R2's calculations, there is no fuel here," answered C3PO.
"Then I guess we should just sit around and wait until we hear another BOING!" said Luke.
So they did. After a few minutes, Bob started complaining.
"I can't stand this horrible smell! How long will it take to get off this moldy cheese? All I want to do is get back to Earth!"
"Well, we don't like it either, and your complaining just makes it worse, so be quiet, Bob!" yelled Han.
"OK, Han," said Bob.
In about 10 minutes, they finally heard a BOING! and were blasted off into space, spaceship and all.
"Wowee, smell that non-moldy air! Wherever we are, at least it isn't moldy!" said Bob happily.
"Wobba lobba ti flea squibba mi nou dai," said R2.
"R2 said, 'We are on the planet Blueciferous,'" translated C3PO.
"Well, that name's very fitting because everything is blue," said Leia.
And it was! Everything- the trees, mountains, ground and sky- were all the same light blue color.
"Do you know if anything lives here, R2?" asked Luke.
"Maba shieba fi nou," said R2.
"R2 said, 'Nothing lives here,'" said C3PO.
"Well, the one thing that better be here is some fuel! I'm getting tired of bouncing around from planet to planet!" Bob said.
"OK, let's all go look for fuel," Han said
So they did. But after awhile, when he got tired of looking, Bob found something that looked and smelled like a blue pineapple.
"Golly gee! A blue pineapple!" said Bob, "I'm so hungry I could eat all of them!" "What's a pineapple?" asked Leia.
"It's a food from Earth that tastes great on pizza," answered Bob.
So they ate a lot of blue pineapple, because they were very hungry, and then walked back to the spaceship.
"Hey, where's everybody else?" asked Leia.
"Who knows," answered Bob.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and flying through space. They landed on a something that looked like and extra large asteroid.
"There you guys are! Did you find any fuel on Blueciferous?" asked Leia.
"No, but we found some blue pineapple," answered Luke.
"So did we," said Bob.
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" sang a giant fish-looking thing.
"O my! Let's get out of here before that giant fish-looking thing eats us!" cried Bob.
"Why would I want to do that?" it asked.
"I don't know," said Bob.
"We are the Fish Kabobs," said the giant Fish Kabob, "and we live on this here asteroid."
"Well, does this here asteroid have any spaceship fuel on it?" asked Han.
"Maybe," said the Fish Kabob, "but it depends on what a spaceship is and what kind of fuel you need."
"We nee the kind of fuel that will make our spaceship, the Millennium Falcon, fly through space!" said Han impatiently.
"O, that kind. Why, I do indeed believe that this here asteroid has that kind of fuel on it. Follow me and I'll get you some," said a Fish Kabob.
So they followed the oddly Fish Kabob to what he said was the Fuel Cave.
"We call this cave Fuel Cave because there's fuel in it. Bring your spaceship over here and I'll give you some."
Just as Han went into the spaceship to fly it over to Fuel Cave, they all heard the familiar sound of a BOING! and were sent flying through space.
"Bye-bye, weirdoes," called the Fish Kabob from Fuel Cave.
When they had landed on a pizza slice-shaped planet, Han yelled,
"I can't believe it! Just when we were finally going to get some fuel, we hear that stupid BOING!"
"I know just how you feel. It's the weirdest thing, though. Sometimes, when a monster is chasing us, we're glad to hear it. But other times, like right now, we hate it. THIS IS SO WEIRD!", yelled Bob unhappily.
"Hand it over!" Han told this giant, bright pink spider.
"Hand what over?" it asked.
"All of your fuel! Hurry, quickly, on the double!" answered Han.
"Han, you shouldn't yell at things that could be dangerous that way!" warned Leia.
As it turned out, Leia was right. The giant pink spider started coming toward Han not looking too happy.
"Run!" Han told everybody.
So everybody ran. But it only took them 3.17 minutes to run around the entire tiny planet.
"O no! What do we do now?" said Leia. Just then they heard a funny whirring sound.
"What's that?" asked Bob.
"That's R2's super-duper spider killer," replied Han.
"O," said Bob.
After the spider was turned into a big giant history book, a big fat monster came out of a cave.
"Who are you?" shouted the fat monster.
"We are Bob O, C3PO, R2-D2, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Luke Skywalker. Who are you?" they asked uneasily.
"I am Miz Z," said Miz Z.
"Are you going to eat us?" asked Bob.
"No, I'm going to make you my chefs. You'll work all the time and never get paid," replied Miz Z.
"What if we don't want to go?" asked Han boldly.
"You will anyway or I'll eat you," said Miz Z.
So they went with Miz Z. When they got there, they had to make her snack (it weighed 5 tons). They noticed some beads in the cabinet.
"What are those?" asked Leia.
"They're my breakfast, so hands off," replied Miz Z, "I stole them from some 7th grade weirdoes back on Earth."
"Earth! Can you take me there?" exclaimed Bob.
"No, now get working. My next meal is due in 30 seconds," Miz Z said.
"This stinks," muttered C3PO to the others.
"Did you say something?" asked Miz Z.
"No, nothing," replied C3PO.
So they worked and worked, only stopping for 1.13 minutes every 10 hours to rest.
"I am going to tale my nap now, you may do what you like," announced Miz Z.
"Let's find some fuel and get out of here," whispered Han.
"Okay," everyone agreed.
After looking everywhere in Miz Z's space station and on the small planet, they decided that there was no fuel there. They did find some yummy pizza and ate it.
"Yum! That was almost as good as the Big Sammy and the pizza moon," said Bob happily.
Just then Miz Z woke up. They could tell because of the rumbling they heard as she was coming down the hall.
"Uh-oh! Hide the pizza boxes!" said Leia.
"That's what we're doing," said Luke crossly, "how about helping us?"
"Why should I? I'm a princess," said Leia haughtily
"Now it's time to learn history," said Miz Z.
"Do we have to?" whined Bob.
"Yes, now get moving," said Miz Z.
They walked down the hall following Miz Z. After walking for about 15 minutes they stopped at a door.
"Get inside," yelled Miz Z, "you have to read the first 20 chapters and do the reviews!"
"What a crab," whispered Bob to Han.
"That's it! You get 50,000,000 lines," declared Miz Z.
"Why does this history book look familiar?" asked Leia.
"Beep glob glorp bing bong fu," said R2.
"What?" asked Bob.
"He said that's what he turn the pink spider into," translated C3PO.
"Ew, yuck," said Leia disgustedly.
"I'm going to take a walk," said Miz Z, pulling on her pink raincoat, "I expect you to be done by the time I get back."
So they worked and worked and just barely got done before Miz Z came a-walkin' in.
"Have you finished?" asked Miz Z.
"Yes," they replied.
"Good. Now you can take the test," said Miz Z.
"What!" they exclaimed.
"You heard me," said Miz Z crossly.
So they took the test. After finishing they heard a BOING!
"Oh good," said Bob, "I was getting kind of tired of this place." But they weren't blasted off into space. Instead someone came onto the spacecraft.
"Who are you?" asked Bob.
"I am Petunia Flea," replied Petunia.
Petunia Flea wasn't actually a flea. She was a person just like Bob, Luke, Han, and Leia. Judging by the confused look on her face, she was getting bounced around just like the rest of them.
"Great! This time when we heard the BOING! we didn't even go anywhere," complained Bob.
"We don't want to be here anymore than you do, so stop whining!" yelled Leia.
"OK, you don't have to be so grumpy," said Bob.
Just then they heard a rruummmbbbllllleee coming from inside the cave.
"It's an earthquake!" shouted Bob.
"No, it's a Miz Z-quake!" Leia shouted back.
As it turned out, it was neither. It was Miz Z's stomach rumbling.
"Where's my 3 quazillion ton snack of cakes, cookies, and more junk food?" yelled Miz Z.
Han was getting very tired of making her all that food, so he said angrily, "How were we supposed to know to make you a 3 quazillion ton snack when you didn't even tell us?"
"That's 5 killion lines for you, Han, everybody else better get working!" replied Miz Z.
"I hate this more than anything else I've ever done. Miz Z has a very big problem, like herself," whispered Leia to Luke. "I may be fat but I can hear! And I heard that, Leia. So you also have 5 killion (5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) lines! Now get writing!" yelled Miz Z.
So Leia and Han started writing lines, but after the first million their hands got tired so that they had to stop.
"Pleeeeeeeeeease can we stop writing now? We'll help make your snack instead!" begged Leia.
"I don't think so. And speaking of my snack, where is it?" asked Miz Z.
"Right here!" answered Bob.
10 hours later, when Han and Leia finished their lines, and everyone else finished making Miz Z's dinner, and Miz Z finished eating it (which took only 5 ½ seconds), Miz Z yelled, "Now I want you read those 100 math books over there, and when you're done I'll give you they test. If you fail the test, I'll sit on you!" threatened Miz Z.
"But I'll be crushed if you do that! Besides, I hate math and CAN'T memorize 100 books of it!" complained Bob.
"Too bad. Now get started," said Miz Z.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and expected to be flying through space, but the only person that left was Petunia Flea.
"No fair! She wasn't here long at all!" complained Bob.
"Get reading, Bob! Do you want me to sit on you? And another thing. If I even hear a peep out of anybody, I'll give you another 200 math books to memorize!" shouted Miz Z/
"Peep," whispered Han.
"I heard that! 200 more math books are right over there! So get reading!" said Miz Z.
"Hey, I just thought of something! Why are we listening to her? She can't tell us what to do! Let's not read any of these math books!" said Leia.
"But if we fail she'll sit on us!" said Bob.
"No she won't! I've got a plan," said Leia.
"I hope you all know that you're all reading and memorizing a total of 300 math books," said Miz Z.
"Who cares," said Leia, "Everybody come over here. OK, here's the plan. We'll put some stuff to make her sleep in her next snack. Then, while she's sleeping, we'll take some of her fuel and."
"She has fuel?" interrupted Luke.
"Yeah, I saw it in one of her closets before we came here. Anyway, we'll take the fuel, put it into the spaceship, and leave!" said Leia happily.
"Why, golly gee! I think it'll work!" said Bob.
After they gave here a 2-ton snack of potato chips, Doritos, nachos, extra buttery popcorn and the sleeping stuff, Miz Z said, "I'm feeling awfully sleepy." And then she yawned a yawn that felt like another Miz Z- quake.
After the rumbling died down, Bob said, "Well, I should think that you're getting sleepy. It's almost time to go nighty-night. All that chewing you've done today must be very tiring."
Bob whispered, "Let's sing her a lullaby!"
So they made up the words as they sang:
Rock-a-bye Miz Z, on the treetop, the cradle will break, even if they wind doesn't blow. Down will come big, fat Miz Z, pizza and all.
"Sing another one," commanded Miz Z.
So they sang:
Roses are red Miz Z is fat, Your food weighs a million tons, But you weigh more than that!
And by that time, Miz Z had fallen asleep. So they got the fuel, put it in the spaceship, and blasted off to another planet! J
"Golly gee, we did it! We got away from her!" said Bob.
"Yeah, but what's that?" asked Han.
They all looked up to the sky, where a huge blob seemed to be falling in their direction,
"If it's Miz Z, turn her into a history book, R2," said Leia.
"Gleep glorp fi moi do dumba fo," said R2.
"R2 said, 'I can only turn giant pink spiders into history books,'" said C3PO.
Just then, the giant blob (Miz Z) crashed into the planet's hard, rock surface. Everyone grabbed onto something so they wouldn't fall down. This was the biggest Miz Z-quake ever!
"So you thought you could escape, huh? Well, think again! The second I heard your spaceship blast off, I followed you here because to me, it's only a mile or two," said Miz Z.
"Everybody back in the spaceship," yelled Han.
When they were all in it, it didn't take them that long to realize that they didn't have any fuel left!
"Come out with your ears up!' commanded Miz Z.
"The fat has really gotten to her brain," said Leia as they all came out.
"I heard that! You all get detention for a month, day and night!" said Miz Z.
So they had no choice but to follow her to a dungeon-looking classroom. As they were sitting there doing nothing in detention, Miz Z locked the door and walked off down the hall.
"I HATE MIZ Z!" shouted Leia as loud as she could.
"And you can write me 2 infinity lines, Leia!" Miz Z shouted back.
As they sat there, they noticed the landscape of the planet they were on. It looked like a tropical beach! There was palm trees, and white sand; and in the distance clear blue water.
"This is the best planet we've been on, and we can't even enjoy it," said Leia.
"Look on the bright side. At least we don't have to cook and learn history and math," said Han.
"Wibble wobble woo Aquaius," said R2.
"R2 said, 'We're on the planet Aquarius," said C3PO.
"O," said Bob O.
Just then they heard a terrible sound.
"O no! Miz Z is singing along with Barney!" complained Bob.
"Old McDonald had a restaurant, EIEIO. And in it he had a big n cheesy! EIEIO!" sang Miz Z.
"AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Han, Leia and Luke.
"It can't get any worse than this," said Bob.
Just then, after Miz Z had sung along with the final "I love you, you hate me" song, the show was over. Miz Z got so mad that she started to scream and cry like a baby so loud that they all covered their ears.
"OOOO, I know! I'll change to the Cooking Channel!" said Miz Z, who turned the volume up to the max and shouted things like "Yummy!" or "Me want that cake!" or "Gimme that food!" to the TV. She also ordered the video of the show after every show.
"Anybody have an extra pair of earplugs?" asked Leia sarcastically.
When the cooking channel finally went to commercials, Miz Z said:
"Waaaaaaaa! No more food! OOOO! I know! I'll change it back to Barney!"
Unfortunately, Barney was just starting again.
"We have to get out of here! I'm going crazy!" shouted Luke over Miz Z's terrible singing.
"Well how do we do that? She locked us in!" said Leia.
"Wibble wobble beep glip," said R2.
"What?" asked Bob.
"R2 says there's a secret trap door in here," replied C3PO.
"Yippee! Let's get out of here!" shouted Bob joyfully.
"R2 doesn't know where it is, just that it's there," confessed C3PO.
"Great," muttered Bob sarcastically. "Stop complaining and start looking," said Han.
They looked and looked, but didn't find anything. All the while Miz Z was watching the Cooking Channel and shouting. Finally they gave up.
"This is hopeless," said Luke, sitting down.
As he sat down, the floor opened up under him.
"What's happening? I hope this isn't going to be like the trash disposal all over again," yelled Luke.
"It's the trap door!" exclaimed Bob happily.
"Let's get out of here!" said Han.
They all went down and found themselves in a giant maze. It was pitch black. Bob took out the lightsaber so that they could see.
"You don't know how to you that, give it back!" said Luke.
"No! It's MINE!" yelled Bob.
"Quit fighting! Let's try to find our way out of here," said Han.
"OK," said Bob O.
So they did, but it turned out that there was no way out, but there was another trap door, which they had to find. They found that out from R2.
"R2, can you find out where the trap door is?" asked Bob.
"Glip glop fe fi foe," said R2.
"Before you even ask, he said that you're standing on it," translated C3PO.
"O. Now we have to find out where the handle is so it will open," said Bob.
They felt around on the floor trying to find the handle. Just when they were about to give up Han found something. He lifted up the secret door and they all went down. They found themselves in an opening with three different tunnels leading away from it.
"This is just great," complained Han, "now what do we do?"
"Now who's complaining?" asked Bob snidely.
"STOP FIGHTING!" yelled Leia.
"Yeah. We have more important things to worry about, like which way to go. R2, can you help us?" said Luke.
"Bleep flip flop glorp," replied R2.
"He said that he's not sure which one to go down, but he does know that one leads back to Miz Z's torture chamber of a classroom, one leads us to the Millennium Falcon, and the last, well, he's not sure where it goes," translated C3PO before Bob even asked.
"I say we should split up," said Luke.
"OK," they all agreed.
So Luke and Leia went down one, Han, Bob, and Chewbacca went down another, and R2 and C3PO went down the other.
After walking down the tunnel for an hour through twists and turns, Leia and Luke decided that they had gone down the tunnel that R2 wasn't sure where it went. "There's no end to this stupid tunnel! Why did we go down it anyway?" asked Leia.
"Because I was hoping that it was the one that lead to the Millennium Falcon," Luke said unhopefully.
Just then, they heard a RRRROAR! come from somewhere nearby.
"W-w-what was that?" asked Leia.
"I don't know, but it sounded like a monster that was close by," answered Luke.
So they cautiously walked in the direction of the roar. After turning around a corner, they saw some light coming from around a corner. After walking a little more, they came to a cave-like thing with a sign at the entrance that said, "Peeper's House."
"I guess that the monster's name is Peepers, but he doesn't looking mean at all," said Luke, watching Peepers dance to a disco song.
"YMCA!" sang along Luke and Leia.
"Hark! Who goes there?" roared the monster as he turned off his music.
"Well, we were lost in this here tunnel and we were wondering if you could help us get out," they answered.
"Sure I shall! I'll think of a way out for you while you dance to my new disco CD, OK?" asked Peepers.
"OK," agreed Luke and Leia.
"Hey, this is fun!" said Leia.
Meanwhile, R2 and C3PO suddenly appeared in the torture classroom.
"O deary me! We got the tunnel that leads to this here classroom!" said C3PO.
So they turned around and headed out.
Meanwhile, Han, Bob, and Chewy spotted the spaceship.
"Yea! We found it!" cried Bob happily.
"Now we have to find a way to get it to everybody else," said Han.
"Hey! What's that button do?" asked Bob curiously as he pushed it.
Amazingly, they landed right at the entrance of the tunnels!
"Wow! I like that button!" said Bob.
R2 and C3PO were waiting there.
"R2! C3PO! Climb aboard!" said Han.
"Now let's find Luke and Leia. Now which tunnel did they go down?" said Bob.
"That one!" said Han, "Everybody out of the spaceship! We have to find them."
So everybody got out and went down the tunnel. After they had been walking for more than an hour through twists and turns, Bob complained,
"We'll never find them. Let's turn back now before we get any more lost."
"But we have to find them!" said Han. "Hey! I see some light coming from over there!"
So they followed it and came to a cave-like thing with a sign that said, "Peeper's House."
"Peeper's House?! What's that supposed to mean?" asked Bob.
"You do the H-o-o-o-o-o-okey Pokey!" sang along Luke and Leia while they did they rather odd dance.
"You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out," joined Bob.
"Hark! Who goes there?" roared the monster as he turned off the music.
"It is I, Bob O," said Bob.
"O. Come in, Bob O," said Peepers.
"Bob! Han! Chewy! Did you find our spaceship?" asked Leia.
"Why yes, we did. Now let's get out of here!" said Han.
"But me don't want you to leave," said Peepers sadly.
"You can come with us, Peepers!" said Leia. "We'll have to shrink you down, though."
So they did just that, and when Peepers was the same size as everyone else, he said,
"Golly gee! You're so nice! Just let me get all of my CDs and my radio and we'll be off!" said Peepers.
So they found their way of the tunnel and into the spaceship and blasted off!
"My, my! Leaving so soon, are you? I couldn't let you go without making you make me some rosary beads to eat," said Miz Z, so she followed them.
"Yippee! We finally escaped Miz Z the Terrible!" said Peepers.
"Golly gee! Something smells like HAM! Lots of HAM!" said Bob.
"Gleep glorp bibble wibble squibble fom," said R2.
"R2 said we're on the planet Smellyham," said C3PO.
"O, I could have never guessed that," said Bob, a little annoyed.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked Leia.
"We eat some ham and hope that Miz Z doesn't follow us here," said Luke.
So everyone did just that. Just then, they saw a big fat blob in the sky!
"O no! Miz Z-quakes a comin'!" yelled Han.
And it was one whopper of a Miz Z-quake!
"Why I'm so hungry I could eat this whole ham planet!" said Miz Z, who sat down and started eating.
"I wouldn't doubt that," said Han.
"Miz Z eats a ton of food, do-da, do-da, it puts her in a very bad mood, o the do-da day. She is very mean, she is very fat! Her favorite thing to do is eat, and all day she does that!" sang Bob.
"Ha ha ha!" laughed everyone else.
"Wwaaaaa! Bob's making fun of I," whined Miz Z.
"Miz Z, I was wondering where exactly are we going to stand when you eat the whole planet?" asked Leia.
"I don't know! But I'll stop eating if you promise to make me lots of yummy rosary beads to eat," said Miz Z.
"OK!" everyone said, but they also quietly said, "Not!"
"Well, what are you waiting 4? Get workin' ya weirdoes!" yelled Miz Z.
"No way! You're not our boss!" yelled Leia.
"Well, if you don't I'll fail you!" threatened Miz Z.
"We're not even in your class," said Luke.
"O. Well then I'll sit on you!" replied Miz Z.
Nobody wanted to get squashed, so they all got to work right away.
"Make me a 5 quazillion ton ham sandwich, Han!" said Miz Z.
"No way! And besides, that much ham doesn't even exist!" said Han.
"Too bad! Now find a way to make it, or I'll sit on you!" said Miz Z.
"Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" asked Leia.
"Because I'm so big and fat that there is nobody my size!" yelled Miz Z.
"Golly gee! Guess what everybody. I just found something amazing out! Smellyham smells like HAM!" said Bob.
"No duh!" said Han.
"Guess what else, everybody? Miz Z is fat! Miz Z is short and stout, and Miz Z is mean and DUMB and SMELLY and HAMMISH!" said Bob.
"BOO HOO, I hate you, Bob," said Miz Z.
"Guess what? I know someone meaner and fatter than Miz Z," said Bob.
Everyone looked at Bob in astonishment, even Miz Z herself.
"Just kidding," said Bob.
"Hey Leia, I have a joke. What's mean and dumb and fat all over?" asked Bob.
"Miz Z!" said Leia.
"That's correct!" said Bob.
"You do all realize that I could sit on you and squash you all right now, right?" said Miz Z.
"Why, yes," they all answered.
"I have another joke!" said Bob.
Just then, they all heard a BOING! and went flying through space, Miz Z and all.
"O no! Miz Z went flying through space with us!" said Bob.
They landed on a planet that was rainbowish and had a big sign that said, "Planet of the Odders."
"I suppose we're on the Planet of the Odders," said C3PO.
"Fi fi fo! Who just landed on this here planet?" asked a giant.
"Us, Bob, Han, Leia, Peepers, R2, C3PO, and Miz Z. If you want to eat someone, eat Miz Z," said Bob.
"I don't want to eat anybody. I'm an Odder I live on this here rainbowish planet," said an Odder.
"Do you have a McDonald's here?" asked Miz Z hopefully. "No, and we have a rule that say all people over 2 tons can't be here," replied the Odder.
"Waaaa! I'm going to sit on you because you made fun of me," cried Miz Z.
Just then they heard a BOING! Only Miz Z went flying through space, though.
"Yeah! We're finally rid of Miz Z!" cried Bob, "Let's celebrate!"
Peepers put on a disco CD and everybody started dancing.
"Why are we so happy that Miz Z left?" asked the Odder.
"Because she was the meanest, fattest, dumbest person in the universe!" they all shouted together.
"O," replied the Odder.
The disco CD ended then. Han noticed that all the Odders were wearing a certain pair of shoes. And that they were all doing line designs.
"Why are all the Odders wearing those shoes, and doing line designs?" Han asked.
"Because," the Odder replied, "we need those shoes to stay on the Planet of the Odders. If not, we would just float off into space. And we do line designs because we like them."
"We don't have those shoes on and we aren't floating away," pointed out Leia.
"Don't you get tired of doing line designs?" asked Bob.
"NO!" shouted the Odder.
"Sorry," muttered Bob sarcastically.
"These Odders are really odd," whispered Leia to Luke.
"I know! And they won't float away if they don't wear those shoes!" Luke whispered back.
"I don't mean to sound like Miz Z, but I'm really hungry. Do you have anything to eat?" asked Leia.
"Yeah, I'm hungry too," agreed Han.
"We only eat hams. Lots of hams with different tastes, colors, and sizes," said an Odder.
"Then I guess I'll have a ham," they all said.
"Try the triangular lime green one. It's the yummiest!!" said a lime green Odder.
So they all ate some of it, even though they really didn't like it.
"Well that was the worst meal I've ever had," complained Han.
"What do we do now?" asked Peepers.
"We get lost in another maze, get boinged off to another planet, or eat some more ham," said Han.
"You know, Han, your name is almost ham," said C3PO.
"That's very interesting," said Han.
"I say we get lost inside a maze," said Peepers.
"OK, let's go look for one," agreed everybody.
"Hey I found something! It looks like the entrance to a cave!" said Luke excitedly.
"Well maybe it is. Why don't we go in and find out?" said Han rather meanly.
But they all went inside anyway.
"Golly gee! This is a big cave!" said Peepers and Bob.
"Let's explore it! I say we go down that way, to the left," said Leia.
"OK," said Peepers.
So they did. And after walking for a long time, they came to the end of that part of the cave.
"O no! A dead-end! We'll never remember the way back! What do we do now?" said Bob. "Well, we said we wanted to get lost in a maze, and now we're lost!" said Han.
So they waited and waited there, trying to think of what to do. Just then they saw some light coming out of a hole! It turned out that it had always been there, but they didn't see it because it was dark, but now that it was light outside, it appeared!
"Let's get out of here!" said Bob.
So they all climbed out of the cave, when suddenly the heard a BOING! and were flying through space, spaceship and all.
"Golly gee, this place smells like a planet!" said Bob.
"Perhaps that's because it is a planet- Planet Walla Walla, to be exact," said C3PO.
"Walla walla, walla smalla! Halla bgalla zalla!" said a giant piece of walking broccoli.
"It's a broccoli! I hate broccoli!" said Peepers.
"R2, can you translate what the broccoli just said?" asked Luke.
"Squibba wibba gleep glorp fi fe fum walla walla," said R2.
"R2 said no, but he does know that the broccoli's a Walla Walla," said C3PO.
Just then the broccoli changed into a lime green palm tree.
"O deary!" said Bob.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed everybody else.
As they looked around they saw lots of Walla Wallas, and none were the same. They were changing from things like pizza slices, ham, eggplants, and jelly beans to things like a raindrop, a hammer, a banana peel, and a toenail clipper.
"And I thought the Odders were weird!" said Bob.
Just then, the palm tree, a broom, a chair, and a kiwi took all of them into a jail-like place.
"Walla walla jalla malla yalla thalla!" said the chair.
"O no! They've captured us!" said Bob.
"Why did they do that?" said Leia.
"Walla walla palla falla!" yelled the kiwi.
"What'd ya say?" asked Leia.
"Lalla!" said the broom.
"Walla Wallas are weird, dumb and mean! And also oddly!" said Bob.
"Valla balla icalla!" said the palm tree.
Then, the Walla Wallas left. It was very quiet and lonely in the jail-like place.
"Everybody do the Macarena!" said Peepers as he turned on the music.
But nobody really felt like dancing.
"OK, then how about doing the limbo?" said Peepers as he turned on the music and held a stick and limboed under it.
But nobody felt like doing the limbo either.
"I know! Let's search for a trap door! There has to be one!" said Peepers.
"Gleep glorp fa la fo fum lum fe le fi li wacazoo," said R2.
"R2 said there isn't one," said C3PO.
"Well then what do we do now?" answered Han.
"We dance, of course!" said Peepers cheerfully.
"Nobody wants to," answered Han.
"Hey, what's that button on the wall do?" asked Bob as he pushed it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed everybody as they turned upside down on a roller coaster somewhere on Planet Walla Walla.
"Good job, Bob, this is all your fault!" complained Luke.
"Is not!" Bob yelled. "Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"Would you two stop? Why do you always have to fight?" asked Han.
Before they could answer, the roller coaster mysteriously stopped.
"Hey! What happened?" asked Leia.
"I stopped it," replied someone who was out of sight.
"Who said that?" Luke asked.
"I did," replied the person.
"Who's I?" asked Han.
"Me," said the stranger, "look behind your shoulder."
They all looked and what they saw amazed them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! A ghost!" yelled Leia.
"Let's get out of here!" yelled Bob.
"RRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!" roared Peepers.
"O no! Me scared!" yelled a ghost-looking thing.
"Who are you?" asked Han.
"Me Millard the ghost, but you can call me Milliard," said Millard.
"OK, Millard," said Han.
"Do you live on Walla Walla?"
"Why yes I do, but I never change into different shapes, like the other Walla Wallas," said Millard. "O," said Bob O.
"Did you stop this here roller coaster?" asked Luke.
"Why yes I did," answered Millard.
"How come?" asked Chewy.
"Because I did," replied Millard.
"But why?" repeated Bob.
"OK, I'm getting tired of this," interjected Peepers, "Millard, do you like to dance?"
"Dance? What's dance?" said a confused Millard.
"What do you mean, what's dance?" cried Peepers.
"I've never heard of it before," replied Millard.
"Well then, we'll show you how," said Peepers.
He put on some music and started dancing. Han, Luke, Leia, C3PO, Chewy and Bob joined in. Before they knew it, the song had ended.
"Do you know how do dance now?" asked Peepers.
"Yes, bit I have a problem. I don't have any legs," replied Millard.
"What?" cried Leia.
"I don't have any legs. I'm a ghost. Ghosts don't have legs," said Millard calmly.
Just then they heard a BOING! But none of them went flying through space. Instead, some one they thought they'd gotten rid of landed behind Bob.
Miz Z.
She tapped Bob on the shoulder. Bob slowly turned around, already knowing that he wouldn't like what he was going to see.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Bob.
"You thought you could get away from me, did you? No one gets away from me!" yelled Miz Z.
"That's because no on can get around you, you're so fat," muttered Leia.
"I heard that! Infinity lines for you!" roared Miz Z.
"You can't make me," said Leia.
"Oh I can't?" asked Miz Z.
'No, you can't," replied Leia.
"How come?"
"Because you're not in charge of us anymore."
"So what?" asked Miz Z.
"You can't make us write lines."
"Why don't you just leave us alone? What did we ever do to you?" said Luke.
"Nothing, but I don't leave you alone because I know that you'll do what I say," answered Miz Z.
"Well we won't any more!" said Leia.
Just then they all heard a BOING! and watched Peepers fly through space.
"O no! Come back Peepers!" said Chewy.
"Well, there's only one thing to do! Everybody make fun of Miz Z!"
So everybody did. They sang:
Miz Z, Miz Z, Would you like some tea? Of course you would! You're always hungry. Miz Z, Miz Z, Why R U so mean to me? Is it because you're as fat as can be? Miz Z, Miz Z, Why did you squash that there flea? If you wanted to, you could squash everybody I see!
"Quit making fun of me or I'll squash you!" yelled Miz Z.
"Why don't you just go home, big fat smelly mean weird dumb stupid blubbery Miz Z?" asked Leia.
"I don't have to take this. I'm going home," said Miz Z, who left.
"Yea! She's gone once and for all!" said Leia.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked Leia.
"We go flying through space!" answered Han, just as they heard the BOING!
"Achoo," said Millard, "wow, this place is old and dusty!"
"Yes, and we appear to be in a maze of some sort, inside a planet of some sort," said C3PO.
"O no, not another maze!" whined Bob.
"Squibba wibba gleep glorp 100 fi fa fla fo fle," said R2.
"R2 said this maze is 100 square miles wide and long," said C3PO.
"Well, then I suppose that we should start walking," said Bob.
So they did.
"Golly gee, this is one deep dark maze!" said Millard.
"No duh!" said Bob.
"Hum diddly dum, la la la," hummed an invisible weirdo.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Bob told the invisible weirdo.
"No," said the invisible weirdo.
"Yes!" said Bob.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes yes yes!"
"No no no!"
"Quit fighting! You don't even know who you're fighting with!" said Han.
"I'm fighting with and invisible weirdo!" said Bob.
"I'm not a weirdo, you're weirdo!" said the invisible weirdo.
"Well why can't I see you?" asked Bob.
"Because I'm invisible and I stay here all day long doing nothing."
"O," said Bob O, "bye-bye!"
Then the floor opened up and they all fell through it.
"Great. Where are we now?" asked Bob.
"We're in an underground country ham store," said the invisible weirdo.
"I knew that," said Bob.
"It smells hammish in her," said Millard.
"No, really? I hadn't noticed!" said Han sarcastically.
"I'm hungry," complained Leia.
"Me too," said Luke.
"Let's eat then," cried Bob.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," warned the invisible weirdo.
"Why?" asked Millard.
Before the invisible weirdo could answer, a big, mean, fat (almost as fat as Miz Z, but not quite) giant came out.
"Fe fi fo fum, I smell someone trying to steal my hams!" cried the giant.
"O deary!" said Bob. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH1" screamed everybody else.
"Run, everyone!" said Bob.
So everyone ran. It turned out that there was a small trap door that the monster couldn't fit through there, so they went out it.
"Wowee, that was close!" said Bob.
"Where are we now?" asked Chewy.
"In the Cactus Desert," said the invisible weirdo.
"O," said Bob O.
"I'm still hungry," complained Leia.
"I, too!" said Bob.
"Me too," said everybody else.
"You can eat the cactuses. They taste like cookies," said the invisible weirdo.
So they all ate the cactuses. They did indeed taste like cookies.
"Now how do we get out of here?" asked Bob.
"Go to that big cactus over there and turned right," said the invisible weirdo.
The invisible weirdo told them some more. Han thanked him and they left.
Then they went to the cactus and turned right. They walked right until they saw no more cactuses.
"Invisible weirdo, what do we do now?" asked Bob.
"Walk all the way across that there where there here there where there desert," said the invisible weirdo.
"No way!" said Millard.
"Well, you have to get to your spaceship," the invisible weirdo said.
"How would you know?" asked Han.
"I just do, so get walkin'!" commanded the invisible weirdo.
So they got walkin'. On the way, they soon met a red potato.
"Hi, I'm Oswald!" it said.
"Are you a Walla Walla?" asked Bob.
"I'm not sure. I might be," Oswald said.
"O," said Bob O.
"What are your names?" asked Oswald.
"We are Bob, Han, Luke, Leia, Chewy, and Millard. We come in peace," answered Bob.
"O. So do I. So what are you doing way out here?" asked Oswald.
"We have to walk across this there here there where there desert," said Bob.
"Shall I come along?" asked Oswald.
"All righty," answered Bob.
So they walked a long time, and then they saw a mouse, floating in the air.
"Heidi ho, neighbor Joe!" said Bob.
"My name's Mortimer. Now scram!"
"But why?" questioned Bob.
But by that time, Mortimer had floated off and was gone.
"Who was that weirdo?" asked Leia.
"Floating Mortimer," answered Bob.
"O no! A thunderstorm!" said Han.
"In the desert?" asked Luke.
"Yep, and it's your lucky day. I just happen to have my blow-up thunderstorm shelter with me!" said Oswald.
So Oswald set it up and everyone went under it. The thunderstorm ended 5 minutes later.
"Brrrrrrrrrrr!" said a freezing oddball.
"Who are you?" asked Chewy.
"I'm Chilly Willy. I'm always chilly!" he said as he shivered.
"But it's almost 100 degrees out here!" said Bob.
"What an oddball," said Leia.
"Come on along," said Millard.
So Chilly Willy did. After walking for another 3 hours and 27 minutes, they spotted the ship, and everyone got in and they blasted off.
"We're outta here!" said Han happily.
"Earth, here we come!" said Bob.
"You live on Earth too? So do I! Were you getting BOINGed around?" questioned Chilly Willy.
"Yes, I was," replied Bob.
"Bad news. Earth's on the other side of the universe, so it might be awhile until we get there," said Han.
"O deary, golly gee, that's mighty far away!" exclaimed Oswald and Millard.
"Fresh pizza, come and get it!" said Leia. Everybody chowed down on the pizza and ham. It was awful yummy!
"That was very good pizza!" exclaimed Chilly Willy.
Before anyone could answer, they crashed into something.
"What's that?" asked Millard.
"I don't know. Let's go investigate!" cried Han.
So they did. When they stepped out, there was a horrible smell.
"I hope this isn't another piece of moldy cheese," said Bob. "Me too," replied Chewy.
"What is it then?" asked Han.
"I don't know, but I hope we don't have to stay here long," cried Millard.
"Bleep blip gleep glorp fe fi," said R2-D2.
"He said that the smell is because Bob hasn't taken a shower in 1 month," said C3PO.
"Yuck!" exclaimed Leia.
"I have to! C3PO's lying!" shouted Bob.
"O yeah? Well, you do smell like a moldy cheese," said C3PO.
"Well you smell like rotten ham!" Bob yelled back.
"Quit fighting and help me fix the ship! I want to leave!" commanded Han.
So everybody helped fix the ship and soon they blasted off to light speed and were on their way.
"Me sleepy," said Oswald.
"Me two," Luke said.
"Me three," said Millard.
"Me five," Bob agreed.
So then everybody went to sleep and the ship kept going. But a few hours later, they heard the BOING! and were all awakened by it.
"O no!" said Han, "The BOING boinged us somewhere and now I don't know where we are!"
They stopped at the nearest planet to ask for directions.
"Hey, blob-looking thing! Can you tell us how to get to the planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy from here?" inquired Bob.
"Why, yes. You take right and go right for about 3 million light-years, and then you turn left until you get to earth, which is about 1 billion light-years," it answered. "Thanks a lot, you've been most helpful," said Bob.
"Well, we've got some travelling to do! Everybody back in!" said Han.
So they traveled right. After the first million light-years, Bob said, "I'm bored."
"Me too," agreed everybody else.
"Well what do we do?" asked Oswald.
"Let's play I spy! I spy a purple planet with 1,053 rings around it," said Millard.
"I spy someone who smells bad," said C3PO.
"Don't start," warned Leia.
"Yodel-ay he hoooooooo!" yodeled Bob.
"Hey, what's that?" inquired Luke.
"It's an alien spaceship!" answered Chewy.
"Shoot it, Han!" yelled Bob.
"No way," said Han.
51 seconds later it disappeared into space.
"Me still bored," said Oswald.
"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," shivered Chilly Willy.
"Is there a bathroom on this ship?" asked Bob.
"No," answered Han.
"Well then, we need to stop at the next planet," said Bob.
"While we're there, take a shower," requested C3PO.
"If you don't stop it, I'm going to unplug you," warned Leia.
~*MISSING PAGESL*~
"Wowee! We're finally going to be back! Good old Earth!" said Bob.
"There's Mars! We're getting close!" said Millard.
"I see it! I see it! I see it!" exclaimed Bob.
So they landed safely on Earth in the desert somewhere in Australia.
"Where are we, Bob?" questioned Han.
"If my calculations are correct, somewhere on Earth," said Bob sarcastically, "now, where's Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop?'
"Bob! Why don't you turn around? You just might find it!" said Leia.
"O my, golly gee, there it is!" said Bob happily.
And Bob took 2 steps and was inside the pizza shop that wasn't named for Sam the Ham, but still had his name.
"I'd like a Big Sammy with lots of ham and some blue pineapple," ordered Bob.
"Blue pineapple?" asked Sam the Ham.
"My, my do I have a story to tell you! I've been BOINGing around the entire universe!"
"What's a pizza?" asked Han.
"Who are you?" asked Mrs. O.
"Everybody, these are my friends I met in space: Han, Leia, Luke, Millard, Oswald, Chewy, and Chilly Willy."
"AAAAAAAAAAH! A ghost!" screamed Bob's baby brother, Freddy Boy.
"Don't be afraid of Millard," said Bob.
"Why not?" asked Freddy Boy.
"Because he's a nice ghost," explained Bob.
"Brr, I'm cold," interjected Chilly Willy.
Then, their pizza got there. It had lots of ham and some blue pineapple, just like Bob had ordered.
"My pizza! I'm going to eat all 33 pieces of it by myself!" Bob said, "And don't make me use my lightsaber!"
"It's my lightsaber! Now give it back!" said Luke.
"As I said before, finders keepers, losers weepers!" said Bob.
"But you stole it! It's MINE! You don't know how to use it!" protested Luke.
"All righty, you can have it back," said Bob, handing Luke the lightsaber.
"Thanks," said Luke.
"For that, I get to eat the whole pizza!" Bob announced.
"You always do," said Charlesette.
"I know," said Bob proudly.
Then everyone, not including Bob, left in the spaceship and Bob lived happily ever after.
The End!
By: Rosemary Durda and Candace E. G. Fox
Characters Bobàmain character Charlesette- Bob's twin sister Freddy Boy- Bob's baby brother Mr. and Mrs. O- Bob's mom and dad
Bob's Friends
Petunia Flea
Sam the Ham
Other Characters
the Ewoks Princess Leia Chewbacca Han Solo Bob the Big Bad Blob Peepers Luke Skywalker R2-D2 C3PO Scary Sam Miz Z
Setting
-In the Outback (Australia) in the desert -Miz Z's space station -the Millenuim Falcon -in Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop -in space
Plot
?
More Characters
A giant pink spider, Walla Wallas, Peepers, Mortimer, Oswald, Chilly Willy, Millard, the invisible weirdo, fish kabobs, the Odders, a blue pineapple, lots of HAM, all of Miz Z's food, pizza, the Millenium Falcon, Peeper's disco CDs, Bob & Luke's lightsaber, Fuel Cave, the giant piece of moldy cheese, Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop
One mighty fine hot day in a desert in Australia, the kangaroos were a- jumping around, the desert animals were loooking for a palm tree for shade and Bob O was looking for Sam the Ham. Now, Sam the Ham wasn't actually a ham. He was a person, just like Bob, and loved pizza, just like Bob. And on this fine day, he was wandering around searching for Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop. Insead, he found Bob and said, "Bob, where is it? I'm awfully hungry and thirsty and I've been walking for miles and if you made it disappear, re-appear it because I'm hungry and thirsty and.
"Sam the Ham! Why don't you turn around! You just might find it!" said Bob.
"O my! Why, Golly Gee! There it is!"
And Sam the Ham took 2 steps and was in the pizza shop that wasn't named after him but still had his name.
Bob was now staring at this huge pizza with cheese, ham, pineapple, anchovies and more ham on it. It was called the Big Sammy. The rest of his family, Charlesette, Freddy Boy, Mr. & Mrs. O, plus Sam the Ham, sat down with him.
Just then, Bob said, "O no you don't! This here pizza's mine and I'm going to eat all 33 pieces by myself, mateys!"
And that's just what he did. Just then, he heard a giant KABOOM! and he was blasted off into space. He landed on the moon.
"I always wondered if it was made out of cheese," he said, "and now I'll find out!"
But just then he heard a BANG! and he was blasted further into space. This time he landed on a forest planet with huge trees in a different galaxy. There he found a really fast thing that looked like a motorcycle with no wheels. Just then, before he was going to crash into a tree, he jumped off.
"Whew, that was close! I could've been smashed to smithereens!"
Then, he saw something lying on the ground. He picked it up and this long flashlight-looking thing came out of it. He accidentally hit a branch with it and the branch fell off!
"Yikes, this thing is dangerous! I'll save it and bring it back to Australia with me as a souvenir," said Bob, "just in case anyone tries to steal my pizza."
Just then, he heard a SQUEAK! (or something that sounded like a squeak) and a furry little bear came out. "I come in peace. Greetings, furry little bear!" said Bob.
"Hi. We're the Ewoks, and we live on this oddly planet," said one of the Ewoks.
"O. My name's Bob. I live on the planet Earth. I don't know how I got here. A few minutes ago, I was eating pizza and now I'm here. It this weird or what?" asked Bob.
"That is very weird, BOB, just like your name," said an Ewok.
"Ha, ha, hardy-har-har. Now is there any way you can get me back to Earth?" asked Bob.
"You could fly one of those very fast things back to Earth," said an Ewok.
"I don't think so. I have a feeling that Earth is on the other side of the universe. But guess what? I got a free souvenir flashlight!" said Bob.
"Hey, be careful with that! It's not a flashlight. Some weirdoes brought it here. That's a weapon!" said one of the Ewoks.
"O. Bye-bye!" said Bob.
And with that, he heard a BOING! and was off to another planet.
"Yo ho! What do we have here?" asked Bob as he surveyed to mountains of cheese, piles of pepperoni, hills of ham and valleys of sauce.
"I'm going to eat all 10,000,000 miles of it all by myself! Yummy!"
And he did. Just after he ate the last bite, he realized that he would have no place to stand.
"O no!" exclaimed Bob unhappily.
But then this really fast ship came along. It pulled up alongside Bob and the doors opened. Then a very big, very furry thing came out.
"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeeeee don't eat me? I'm too young to die!" cried out Bob.
"I'm not going to eat you, I'm going to save you," replied to furry thing, "by the way, I'm Chewbacca."
Bob climbed into the ship. Then some weirdo with buns around her ears came over.
"Hello, I'm Princess Leia. Those other people are Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and my twin. What's your name?" said the weirdo.
"Bob," Bob said.
"O, Bob. That's a nice name," said Leia.
"Not O, Bob, Bob O," corrected Bob, "I'm trying to get back to Earth."
"O. Well perhaps we could take you there. Climb aboard our ship, the Millennium Falcon."
So he did, and they blasted off to light speed. Half way there the Millennium Falcon ran out of fuel and they had to stop at the nearest planet. That planet, unfortunately, was home to Bob the Big Bad Blob and Scary Sam. The mountains were white with bones and the streets were deserted.
"There sure is a lot of snow on those mountains," commented Han.
"Yeah, I wonder why," replied Luke.
"O, I know all about this place," said a strange voice.
Bob turned around and 2 strange metal things walked out of the ship.
"Yikes! Who are you?" asked Bob.
"We are C3PO and R2-D2," replied the goldish one, "and this place is terrorized by two evil monsters."
"Hey, maybe I could use this flashlight-looking this to kill them."
"No! You can't do that! If you look at them you will either be turned into a pile of dust or a piece of moldy cheese, depending on the monster," cried C3PO.
"Hey! Wait a minute! That flashlight-looking thing is my lightsaber. I've been looking for that, too! I thought that I left it on Hoth. Where did you find it?" questioned Luke.
"It was on the forest moon with some furry little bears," said Bob.
"Can I have it back?" asked Luke.
"No! It's mine! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" taunted Bob.
"Hey! Stop fighting!" cut in Han sharply.
"Gleep glorp fe fi fo," said R2-D2.
"What did he say?" asked Bob. "Let's get out of here! There's the monsters," translated C3PO.
"Uh, oh," they exclaimed in unison.
"Roar," said the monsters.
"Yikes, that sounded close. Let's find some fuel and get out of here," said Bob.
"Where are we supposed to find fuel here?" asked C3PO.
"I don't know, but we'd better get out of here somehow. And another thing. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. A few hours ago, I was happily chowing down on a Big Sammy pizza in Australia back on Earth and now I'm here with you! This seems like a crazy dream!" said Bob.
"Well, it's not and we're going to be turned into a pile of dust or a piece of moldy cheese if we don't get out of here," said Han.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and all of them, even the spaceship, were flying through space and then they landed on another planet.
"For the first time, I was glad to hear that BOING!" said Bob.
"Yeah, me too. But where are we now? I've never heard about this planet before," said Luke.
"Yuck! This place smells disgusting!" said Bob disgustedly.
"According to R2's calculations, this isn't a planet," reported C3PO.
"Well, then what is it? An asteroid?" asked Leia.
"We're not quite sure," said C3PO.
"Well, since we have nothing to do, let's look for some fuel," said Han. "Okay," they all agreed.
"I still think this place smells awful," added Bob.
"Yuck, the ground is all moldy," said Chewbacca.
"According to R2's calculations this is a giant floating piece of moldy cheese," said C3PO.
"Yeah, right," said Bob, "that's impossible. Giant pieces of moldy cheese don't just float around in space. And anyway, where did it come from?"
"I don't know, but that's what it is, OK? Ya got a problem with that, Bob?" asked C3PO.
"Yeah, my problem is that you always know everything and act perfect. Why don't you just be quiet 4 once?" Bob said.
"All right, quit fighting. Let's all split up and look for fuel," commanded Han.
"Walla walla biggly bok shofeee," said R2.
"What'd he say, Mr. Know-it-all?" asked Bob.
"According to R2's calculations, there is no fuel here," answered C3PO.
"Then I guess we should just sit around and wait until we hear another BOING!" said Luke.
So they did. After a few minutes, Bob started complaining.
"I can't stand this horrible smell! How long will it take to get off this moldy cheese? All I want to do is get back to Earth!"
"Well, we don't like it either, and your complaining just makes it worse, so be quiet, Bob!" yelled Han.
"OK, Han," said Bob.
In about 10 minutes, they finally heard a BOING! and were blasted off into space, spaceship and all.
"Wowee, smell that non-moldy air! Wherever we are, at least it isn't moldy!" said Bob happily.
"Wobba lobba ti flea squibba mi nou dai," said R2.
"R2 said, 'We are on the planet Blueciferous,'" translated C3PO.
"Well, that name's very fitting because everything is blue," said Leia.
And it was! Everything- the trees, mountains, ground and sky- were all the same light blue color.
"Do you know if anything lives here, R2?" asked Luke.
"Maba shieba fi nou," said R2.
"R2 said, 'Nothing lives here,'" said C3PO.
"Well, the one thing that better be here is some fuel! I'm getting tired of bouncing around from planet to planet!" Bob said.
"OK, let's all go look for fuel," Han said
So they did. But after awhile, when he got tired of looking, Bob found something that looked and smelled like a blue pineapple.
"Golly gee! A blue pineapple!" said Bob, "I'm so hungry I could eat all of them!" "What's a pineapple?" asked Leia.
"It's a food from Earth that tastes great on pizza," answered Bob.
So they ate a lot of blue pineapple, because they were very hungry, and then walked back to the spaceship.
"Hey, where's everybody else?" asked Leia.
"Who knows," answered Bob.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and flying through space. They landed on a something that looked like and extra large asteroid.
"There you guys are! Did you find any fuel on Blueciferous?" asked Leia.
"No, but we found some blue pineapple," answered Luke.
"So did we," said Bob.
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" sang a giant fish-looking thing.
"O my! Let's get out of here before that giant fish-looking thing eats us!" cried Bob.
"Why would I want to do that?" it asked.
"I don't know," said Bob.
"We are the Fish Kabobs," said the giant Fish Kabob, "and we live on this here asteroid."
"Well, does this here asteroid have any spaceship fuel on it?" asked Han.
"Maybe," said the Fish Kabob, "but it depends on what a spaceship is and what kind of fuel you need."
"We nee the kind of fuel that will make our spaceship, the Millennium Falcon, fly through space!" said Han impatiently.
"O, that kind. Why, I do indeed believe that this here asteroid has that kind of fuel on it. Follow me and I'll get you some," said a Fish Kabob.
So they followed the oddly Fish Kabob to what he said was the Fuel Cave.
"We call this cave Fuel Cave because there's fuel in it. Bring your spaceship over here and I'll give you some."
Just as Han went into the spaceship to fly it over to Fuel Cave, they all heard the familiar sound of a BOING! and were sent flying through space.
"Bye-bye, weirdoes," called the Fish Kabob from Fuel Cave.
When they had landed on a pizza slice-shaped planet, Han yelled,
"I can't believe it! Just when we were finally going to get some fuel, we hear that stupid BOING!"
"I know just how you feel. It's the weirdest thing, though. Sometimes, when a monster is chasing us, we're glad to hear it. But other times, like right now, we hate it. THIS IS SO WEIRD!", yelled Bob unhappily.
"Hand it over!" Han told this giant, bright pink spider.
"Hand what over?" it asked.
"All of your fuel! Hurry, quickly, on the double!" answered Han.
"Han, you shouldn't yell at things that could be dangerous that way!" warned Leia.
As it turned out, Leia was right. The giant pink spider started coming toward Han not looking too happy.
"Run!" Han told everybody.
So everybody ran. But it only took them 3.17 minutes to run around the entire tiny planet.
"O no! What do we do now?" said Leia. Just then they heard a funny whirring sound.
"What's that?" asked Bob.
"That's R2's super-duper spider killer," replied Han.
"O," said Bob.
After the spider was turned into a big giant history book, a big fat monster came out of a cave.
"Who are you?" shouted the fat monster.
"We are Bob O, C3PO, R2-D2, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Luke Skywalker. Who are you?" they asked uneasily.
"I am Miz Z," said Miz Z.
"Are you going to eat us?" asked Bob.
"No, I'm going to make you my chefs. You'll work all the time and never get paid," replied Miz Z.
"What if we don't want to go?" asked Han boldly.
"You will anyway or I'll eat you," said Miz Z.
So they went with Miz Z. When they got there, they had to make her snack (it weighed 5 tons). They noticed some beads in the cabinet.
"What are those?" asked Leia.
"They're my breakfast, so hands off," replied Miz Z, "I stole them from some 7th grade weirdoes back on Earth."
"Earth! Can you take me there?" exclaimed Bob.
"No, now get working. My next meal is due in 30 seconds," Miz Z said.
"This stinks," muttered C3PO to the others.
"Did you say something?" asked Miz Z.
"No, nothing," replied C3PO.
So they worked and worked, only stopping for 1.13 minutes every 10 hours to rest.
"I am going to tale my nap now, you may do what you like," announced Miz Z.
"Let's find some fuel and get out of here," whispered Han.
"Okay," everyone agreed.
After looking everywhere in Miz Z's space station and on the small planet, they decided that there was no fuel there. They did find some yummy pizza and ate it.
"Yum! That was almost as good as the Big Sammy and the pizza moon," said Bob happily.
Just then Miz Z woke up. They could tell because of the rumbling they heard as she was coming down the hall.
"Uh-oh! Hide the pizza boxes!" said Leia.
"That's what we're doing," said Luke crossly, "how about helping us?"
"Why should I? I'm a princess," said Leia haughtily
"Now it's time to learn history," said Miz Z.
"Do we have to?" whined Bob.
"Yes, now get moving," said Miz Z.
They walked down the hall following Miz Z. After walking for about 15 minutes they stopped at a door.
"Get inside," yelled Miz Z, "you have to read the first 20 chapters and do the reviews!"
"What a crab," whispered Bob to Han.
"That's it! You get 50,000,000 lines," declared Miz Z.
"Why does this history book look familiar?" asked Leia.
"Beep glob glorp bing bong fu," said R2.
"What?" asked Bob.
"He said that's what he turn the pink spider into," translated C3PO.
"Ew, yuck," said Leia disgustedly.
"I'm going to take a walk," said Miz Z, pulling on her pink raincoat, "I expect you to be done by the time I get back."
So they worked and worked and just barely got done before Miz Z came a-walkin' in.
"Have you finished?" asked Miz Z.
"Yes," they replied.
"Good. Now you can take the test," said Miz Z.
"What!" they exclaimed.
"You heard me," said Miz Z crossly.
So they took the test. After finishing they heard a BOING!
"Oh good," said Bob, "I was getting kind of tired of this place." But they weren't blasted off into space. Instead someone came onto the spacecraft.
"Who are you?" asked Bob.
"I am Petunia Flea," replied Petunia.
Petunia Flea wasn't actually a flea. She was a person just like Bob, Luke, Han, and Leia. Judging by the confused look on her face, she was getting bounced around just like the rest of them.
"Great! This time when we heard the BOING! we didn't even go anywhere," complained Bob.
"We don't want to be here anymore than you do, so stop whining!" yelled Leia.
"OK, you don't have to be so grumpy," said Bob.
Just then they heard a rruummmbbbllllleee coming from inside the cave.
"It's an earthquake!" shouted Bob.
"No, it's a Miz Z-quake!" Leia shouted back.
As it turned out, it was neither. It was Miz Z's stomach rumbling.
"Where's my 3 quazillion ton snack of cakes, cookies, and more junk food?" yelled Miz Z.
Han was getting very tired of making her all that food, so he said angrily, "How were we supposed to know to make you a 3 quazillion ton snack when you didn't even tell us?"
"That's 5 killion lines for you, Han, everybody else better get working!" replied Miz Z.
"I hate this more than anything else I've ever done. Miz Z has a very big problem, like herself," whispered Leia to Luke. "I may be fat but I can hear! And I heard that, Leia. So you also have 5 killion (5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) lines! Now get writing!" yelled Miz Z.
So Leia and Han started writing lines, but after the first million their hands got tired so that they had to stop.
"Pleeeeeeeeeease can we stop writing now? We'll help make your snack instead!" begged Leia.
"I don't think so. And speaking of my snack, where is it?" asked Miz Z.
"Right here!" answered Bob.
10 hours later, when Han and Leia finished their lines, and everyone else finished making Miz Z's dinner, and Miz Z finished eating it (which took only 5 ½ seconds), Miz Z yelled, "Now I want you read those 100 math books over there, and when you're done I'll give you they test. If you fail the test, I'll sit on you!" threatened Miz Z.
"But I'll be crushed if you do that! Besides, I hate math and CAN'T memorize 100 books of it!" complained Bob.
"Too bad. Now get started," said Miz Z.
Just then, they heard a BOING! and expected to be flying through space, but the only person that left was Petunia Flea.
"No fair! She wasn't here long at all!" complained Bob.
"Get reading, Bob! Do you want me to sit on you? And another thing. If I even hear a peep out of anybody, I'll give you another 200 math books to memorize!" shouted Miz Z/
"Peep," whispered Han.
"I heard that! 200 more math books are right over there! So get reading!" said Miz Z.
"Hey, I just thought of something! Why are we listening to her? She can't tell us what to do! Let's not read any of these math books!" said Leia.
"But if we fail she'll sit on us!" said Bob.
"No she won't! I've got a plan," said Leia.
"I hope you all know that you're all reading and memorizing a total of 300 math books," said Miz Z.
"Who cares," said Leia, "Everybody come over here. OK, here's the plan. We'll put some stuff to make her sleep in her next snack. Then, while she's sleeping, we'll take some of her fuel and."
"She has fuel?" interrupted Luke.
"Yeah, I saw it in one of her closets before we came here. Anyway, we'll take the fuel, put it into the spaceship, and leave!" said Leia happily.
"Why, golly gee! I think it'll work!" said Bob.
After they gave here a 2-ton snack of potato chips, Doritos, nachos, extra buttery popcorn and the sleeping stuff, Miz Z said, "I'm feeling awfully sleepy." And then she yawned a yawn that felt like another Miz Z- quake.
After the rumbling died down, Bob said, "Well, I should think that you're getting sleepy. It's almost time to go nighty-night. All that chewing you've done today must be very tiring."
Bob whispered, "Let's sing her a lullaby!"
So they made up the words as they sang:
Rock-a-bye Miz Z, on the treetop, the cradle will break, even if they wind doesn't blow. Down will come big, fat Miz Z, pizza and all.
"Sing another one," commanded Miz Z.
So they sang:
Roses are red Miz Z is fat, Your food weighs a million tons, But you weigh more than that!
And by that time, Miz Z had fallen asleep. So they got the fuel, put it in the spaceship, and blasted off to another planet! J
"Golly gee, we did it! We got away from her!" said Bob.
"Yeah, but what's that?" asked Han.
They all looked up to the sky, where a huge blob seemed to be falling in their direction,
"If it's Miz Z, turn her into a history book, R2," said Leia.
"Gleep glorp fi moi do dumba fo," said R2.
"R2 said, 'I can only turn giant pink spiders into history books,'" said C3PO.
Just then, the giant blob (Miz Z) crashed into the planet's hard, rock surface. Everyone grabbed onto something so they wouldn't fall down. This was the biggest Miz Z-quake ever!
"So you thought you could escape, huh? Well, think again! The second I heard your spaceship blast off, I followed you here because to me, it's only a mile or two," said Miz Z.
"Everybody back in the spaceship," yelled Han.
When they were all in it, it didn't take them that long to realize that they didn't have any fuel left!
"Come out with your ears up!' commanded Miz Z.
"The fat has really gotten to her brain," said Leia as they all came out.
"I heard that! You all get detention for a month, day and night!" said Miz Z.
So they had no choice but to follow her to a dungeon-looking classroom. As they were sitting there doing nothing in detention, Miz Z locked the door and walked off down the hall.
"I HATE MIZ Z!" shouted Leia as loud as she could.
"And you can write me 2 infinity lines, Leia!" Miz Z shouted back.
As they sat there, they noticed the landscape of the planet they were on. It looked like a tropical beach! There was palm trees, and white sand; and in the distance clear blue water.
"This is the best planet we've been on, and we can't even enjoy it," said Leia.
"Look on the bright side. At least we don't have to cook and learn history and math," said Han.
"Wibble wobble woo Aquaius," said R2.
"R2 said, 'We're on the planet Aquarius," said C3PO.
"O," said Bob O.
Just then they heard a terrible sound.
"O no! Miz Z is singing along with Barney!" complained Bob.
"Old McDonald had a restaurant, EIEIO. And in it he had a big n cheesy! EIEIO!" sang Miz Z.
"AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Han, Leia and Luke.
"It can't get any worse than this," said Bob.
Just then, after Miz Z had sung along with the final "I love you, you hate me" song, the show was over. Miz Z got so mad that she started to scream and cry like a baby so loud that they all covered their ears.
"OOOO, I know! I'll change to the Cooking Channel!" said Miz Z, who turned the volume up to the max and shouted things like "Yummy!" or "Me want that cake!" or "Gimme that food!" to the TV. She also ordered the video of the show after every show.
"Anybody have an extra pair of earplugs?" asked Leia sarcastically.
When the cooking channel finally went to commercials, Miz Z said:
"Waaaaaaaa! No more food! OOOO! I know! I'll change it back to Barney!"
Unfortunately, Barney was just starting again.
"We have to get out of here! I'm going crazy!" shouted Luke over Miz Z's terrible singing.
"Well how do we do that? She locked us in!" said Leia.
"Wibble wobble beep glip," said R2.
"What?" asked Bob.
"R2 says there's a secret trap door in here," replied C3PO.
"Yippee! Let's get out of here!" shouted Bob joyfully.
"R2 doesn't know where it is, just that it's there," confessed C3PO.
"Great," muttered Bob sarcastically. "Stop complaining and start looking," said Han.
They looked and looked, but didn't find anything. All the while Miz Z was watching the Cooking Channel and shouting. Finally they gave up.
"This is hopeless," said Luke, sitting down.
As he sat down, the floor opened up under him.
"What's happening? I hope this isn't going to be like the trash disposal all over again," yelled Luke.
"It's the trap door!" exclaimed Bob happily.
"Let's get out of here!" said Han.
They all went down and found themselves in a giant maze. It was pitch black. Bob took out the lightsaber so that they could see.
"You don't know how to you that, give it back!" said Luke.
"No! It's MINE!" yelled Bob.
"Quit fighting! Let's try to find our way out of here," said Han.
"OK," said Bob O.
So they did, but it turned out that there was no way out, but there was another trap door, which they had to find. They found that out from R2.
"R2, can you find out where the trap door is?" asked Bob.
"Glip glop fe fi foe," said R2.
"Before you even ask, he said that you're standing on it," translated C3PO.
"O. Now we have to find out where the handle is so it will open," said Bob.
They felt around on the floor trying to find the handle. Just when they were about to give up Han found something. He lifted up the secret door and they all went down. They found themselves in an opening with three different tunnels leading away from it.
"This is just great," complained Han, "now what do we do?"
"Now who's complaining?" asked Bob snidely.
"STOP FIGHTING!" yelled Leia.
"Yeah. We have more important things to worry about, like which way to go. R2, can you help us?" said Luke.
"Bleep flip flop glorp," replied R2.
"He said that he's not sure which one to go down, but he does know that one leads back to Miz Z's torture chamber of a classroom, one leads us to the Millennium Falcon, and the last, well, he's not sure where it goes," translated C3PO before Bob even asked.
"I say we should split up," said Luke.
"OK," they all agreed.
So Luke and Leia went down one, Han, Bob, and Chewbacca went down another, and R2 and C3PO went down the other.
After walking down the tunnel for an hour through twists and turns, Leia and Luke decided that they had gone down the tunnel that R2 wasn't sure where it went. "There's no end to this stupid tunnel! Why did we go down it anyway?" asked Leia.
"Because I was hoping that it was the one that lead to the Millennium Falcon," Luke said unhopefully.
Just then, they heard a RRRROAR! come from somewhere nearby.
"W-w-what was that?" asked Leia.
"I don't know, but it sounded like a monster that was close by," answered Luke.
So they cautiously walked in the direction of the roar. After turning around a corner, they saw some light coming from around a corner. After walking a little more, they came to a cave-like thing with a sign at the entrance that said, "Peeper's House."
"I guess that the monster's name is Peepers, but he doesn't looking mean at all," said Luke, watching Peepers dance to a disco song.
"YMCA!" sang along Luke and Leia.
"Hark! Who goes there?" roared the monster as he turned off his music.
"Well, we were lost in this here tunnel and we were wondering if you could help us get out," they answered.
"Sure I shall! I'll think of a way out for you while you dance to my new disco CD, OK?" asked Peepers.
"OK," agreed Luke and Leia.
"Hey, this is fun!" said Leia.
Meanwhile, R2 and C3PO suddenly appeared in the torture classroom.
"O deary me! We got the tunnel that leads to this here classroom!" said C3PO.
So they turned around and headed out.
Meanwhile, Han, Bob, and Chewy spotted the spaceship.
"Yea! We found it!" cried Bob happily.
"Now we have to find a way to get it to everybody else," said Han.
"Hey! What's that button do?" asked Bob curiously as he pushed it.
Amazingly, they landed right at the entrance of the tunnels!
"Wow! I like that button!" said Bob.
R2 and C3PO were waiting there.
"R2! C3PO! Climb aboard!" said Han.
"Now let's find Luke and Leia. Now which tunnel did they go down?" said Bob.
"That one!" said Han, "Everybody out of the spaceship! We have to find them."
So everybody got out and went down the tunnel. After they had been walking for more than an hour through twists and turns, Bob complained,
"We'll never find them. Let's turn back now before we get any more lost."
"But we have to find them!" said Han. "Hey! I see some light coming from over there!"
So they followed it and came to a cave-like thing with a sign that said, "Peeper's House."
"Peeper's House?! What's that supposed to mean?" asked Bob.
"You do the H-o-o-o-o-o-okey Pokey!" sang along Luke and Leia while they did they rather odd dance.
"You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out," joined Bob.
"Hark! Who goes there?" roared the monster as he turned off the music.
"It is I, Bob O," said Bob.
"O. Come in, Bob O," said Peepers.
"Bob! Han! Chewy! Did you find our spaceship?" asked Leia.
"Why yes, we did. Now let's get out of here!" said Han.
"But me don't want you to leave," said Peepers sadly.
"You can come with us, Peepers!" said Leia. "We'll have to shrink you down, though."
So they did just that, and when Peepers was the same size as everyone else, he said,
"Golly gee! You're so nice! Just let me get all of my CDs and my radio and we'll be off!" said Peepers.
So they found their way of the tunnel and into the spaceship and blasted off!
"My, my! Leaving so soon, are you? I couldn't let you go without making you make me some rosary beads to eat," said Miz Z, so she followed them.
"Yippee! We finally escaped Miz Z the Terrible!" said Peepers.
"Golly gee! Something smells like HAM! Lots of HAM!" said Bob.
"Gleep glorp bibble wibble squibble fom," said R2.
"R2 said we're on the planet Smellyham," said C3PO.
"O, I could have never guessed that," said Bob, a little annoyed.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked Leia.
"We eat some ham and hope that Miz Z doesn't follow us here," said Luke.
So everyone did just that. Just then, they saw a big fat blob in the sky!
"O no! Miz Z-quakes a comin'!" yelled Han.
And it was one whopper of a Miz Z-quake!
"Why I'm so hungry I could eat this whole ham planet!" said Miz Z, who sat down and started eating.
"I wouldn't doubt that," said Han.
"Miz Z eats a ton of food, do-da, do-da, it puts her in a very bad mood, o the do-da day. She is very mean, she is very fat! Her favorite thing to do is eat, and all day she does that!" sang Bob.
"Ha ha ha!" laughed everyone else.
"Wwaaaaa! Bob's making fun of I," whined Miz Z.
"Miz Z, I was wondering where exactly are we going to stand when you eat the whole planet?" asked Leia.
"I don't know! But I'll stop eating if you promise to make me lots of yummy rosary beads to eat," said Miz Z.
"OK!" everyone said, but they also quietly said, "Not!"
"Well, what are you waiting 4? Get workin' ya weirdoes!" yelled Miz Z.
"No way! You're not our boss!" yelled Leia.
"Well, if you don't I'll fail you!" threatened Miz Z.
"We're not even in your class," said Luke.
"O. Well then I'll sit on you!" replied Miz Z.
Nobody wanted to get squashed, so they all got to work right away.
"Make me a 5 quazillion ton ham sandwich, Han!" said Miz Z.
"No way! And besides, that much ham doesn't even exist!" said Han.
"Too bad! Now find a way to make it, or I'll sit on you!" said Miz Z.
"Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?" asked Leia.
"Because I'm so big and fat that there is nobody my size!" yelled Miz Z.
"Golly gee! Guess what everybody. I just found something amazing out! Smellyham smells like HAM!" said Bob.
"No duh!" said Han.
"Guess what else, everybody? Miz Z is fat! Miz Z is short and stout, and Miz Z is mean and DUMB and SMELLY and HAMMISH!" said Bob.
"BOO HOO, I hate you, Bob," said Miz Z.
"Guess what? I know someone meaner and fatter than Miz Z," said Bob.
Everyone looked at Bob in astonishment, even Miz Z herself.
"Just kidding," said Bob.
"Hey Leia, I have a joke. What's mean and dumb and fat all over?" asked Bob.
"Miz Z!" said Leia.
"That's correct!" said Bob.
"You do all realize that I could sit on you and squash you all right now, right?" said Miz Z.
"Why, yes," they all answered.
"I have another joke!" said Bob.
Just then, they all heard a BOING! and went flying through space, Miz Z and all.
"O no! Miz Z went flying through space with us!" said Bob.
They landed on a planet that was rainbowish and had a big sign that said, "Planet of the Odders."
"I suppose we're on the Planet of the Odders," said C3PO.
"Fi fi fo! Who just landed on this here planet?" asked a giant.
"Us, Bob, Han, Leia, Peepers, R2, C3PO, and Miz Z. If you want to eat someone, eat Miz Z," said Bob.
"I don't want to eat anybody. I'm an Odder I live on this here rainbowish planet," said an Odder.
"Do you have a McDonald's here?" asked Miz Z hopefully. "No, and we have a rule that say all people over 2 tons can't be here," replied the Odder.
"Waaaa! I'm going to sit on you because you made fun of me," cried Miz Z.
Just then they heard a BOING! Only Miz Z went flying through space, though.
"Yeah! We're finally rid of Miz Z!" cried Bob, "Let's celebrate!"
Peepers put on a disco CD and everybody started dancing.
"Why are we so happy that Miz Z left?" asked the Odder.
"Because she was the meanest, fattest, dumbest person in the universe!" they all shouted together.
"O," replied the Odder.
The disco CD ended then. Han noticed that all the Odders were wearing a certain pair of shoes. And that they were all doing line designs.
"Why are all the Odders wearing those shoes, and doing line designs?" Han asked.
"Because," the Odder replied, "we need those shoes to stay on the Planet of the Odders. If not, we would just float off into space. And we do line designs because we like them."
"We don't have those shoes on and we aren't floating away," pointed out Leia.
"Don't you get tired of doing line designs?" asked Bob.
"NO!" shouted the Odder.
"Sorry," muttered Bob sarcastically.
"These Odders are really odd," whispered Leia to Luke.
"I know! And they won't float away if they don't wear those shoes!" Luke whispered back.
"I don't mean to sound like Miz Z, but I'm really hungry. Do you have anything to eat?" asked Leia.
"Yeah, I'm hungry too," agreed Han.
"We only eat hams. Lots of hams with different tastes, colors, and sizes," said an Odder.
"Then I guess I'll have a ham," they all said.
"Try the triangular lime green one. It's the yummiest!!" said a lime green Odder.
So they all ate some of it, even though they really didn't like it.
"Well that was the worst meal I've ever had," complained Han.
"What do we do now?" asked Peepers.
"We get lost in another maze, get boinged off to another planet, or eat some more ham," said Han.
"You know, Han, your name is almost ham," said C3PO.
"That's very interesting," said Han.
"I say we get lost inside a maze," said Peepers.
"OK, let's go look for one," agreed everybody.
"Hey I found something! It looks like the entrance to a cave!" said Luke excitedly.
"Well maybe it is. Why don't we go in and find out?" said Han rather meanly.
But they all went inside anyway.
"Golly gee! This is a big cave!" said Peepers and Bob.
"Let's explore it! I say we go down that way, to the left," said Leia.
"OK," said Peepers.
So they did. And after walking for a long time, they came to the end of that part of the cave.
"O no! A dead-end! We'll never remember the way back! What do we do now?" said Bob. "Well, we said we wanted to get lost in a maze, and now we're lost!" said Han.
So they waited and waited there, trying to think of what to do. Just then they saw some light coming out of a hole! It turned out that it had always been there, but they didn't see it because it was dark, but now that it was light outside, it appeared!
"Let's get out of here!" said Bob.
So they all climbed out of the cave, when suddenly the heard a BOING! and were flying through space, spaceship and all.
"Golly gee, this place smells like a planet!" said Bob.
"Perhaps that's because it is a planet- Planet Walla Walla, to be exact," said C3PO.
"Walla walla, walla smalla! Halla bgalla zalla!" said a giant piece of walking broccoli.
"It's a broccoli! I hate broccoli!" said Peepers.
"R2, can you translate what the broccoli just said?" asked Luke.
"Squibba wibba gleep glorp fi fe fum walla walla," said R2.
"R2 said no, but he does know that the broccoli's a Walla Walla," said C3PO.
Just then the broccoli changed into a lime green palm tree.
"O deary!" said Bob.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed everybody else.
As they looked around they saw lots of Walla Wallas, and none were the same. They were changing from things like pizza slices, ham, eggplants, and jelly beans to things like a raindrop, a hammer, a banana peel, and a toenail clipper.
"And I thought the Odders were weird!" said Bob.
Just then, the palm tree, a broom, a chair, and a kiwi took all of them into a jail-like place.
"Walla walla jalla malla yalla thalla!" said the chair.
"O no! They've captured us!" said Bob.
"Why did they do that?" said Leia.
"Walla walla palla falla!" yelled the kiwi.
"What'd ya say?" asked Leia.
"Lalla!" said the broom.
"Walla Wallas are weird, dumb and mean! And also oddly!" said Bob.
"Valla balla icalla!" said the palm tree.
Then, the Walla Wallas left. It was very quiet and lonely in the jail-like place.
"Everybody do the Macarena!" said Peepers as he turned on the music.
But nobody really felt like dancing.
"OK, then how about doing the limbo?" said Peepers as he turned on the music and held a stick and limboed under it.
But nobody felt like doing the limbo either.
"I know! Let's search for a trap door! There has to be one!" said Peepers.
"Gleep glorp fa la fo fum lum fe le fi li wacazoo," said R2.
"R2 said there isn't one," said C3PO.
"Well then what do we do now?" answered Han.
"We dance, of course!" said Peepers cheerfully.
"Nobody wants to," answered Han.
"Hey, what's that button on the wall do?" asked Bob as he pushed it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed everybody as they turned upside down on a roller coaster somewhere on Planet Walla Walla.
"Good job, Bob, this is all your fault!" complained Luke.
"Is not!" Bob yelled. "Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"Would you two stop? Why do you always have to fight?" asked Han.
Before they could answer, the roller coaster mysteriously stopped.
"Hey! What happened?" asked Leia.
"I stopped it," replied someone who was out of sight.
"Who said that?" Luke asked.
"I did," replied the person.
"Who's I?" asked Han.
"Me," said the stranger, "look behind your shoulder."
They all looked and what they saw amazed them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! A ghost!" yelled Leia.
"Let's get out of here!" yelled Bob.
"RRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!" roared Peepers.
"O no! Me scared!" yelled a ghost-looking thing.
"Who are you?" asked Han.
"Me Millard the ghost, but you can call me Milliard," said Millard.
"OK, Millard," said Han.
"Do you live on Walla Walla?"
"Why yes I do, but I never change into different shapes, like the other Walla Wallas," said Millard. "O," said Bob O.
"Did you stop this here roller coaster?" asked Luke.
"Why yes I did," answered Millard.
"How come?" asked Chewy.
"Because I did," replied Millard.
"But why?" repeated Bob.
"OK, I'm getting tired of this," interjected Peepers, "Millard, do you like to dance?"
"Dance? What's dance?" said a confused Millard.
"What do you mean, what's dance?" cried Peepers.
"I've never heard of it before," replied Millard.
"Well then, we'll show you how," said Peepers.
He put on some music and started dancing. Han, Luke, Leia, C3PO, Chewy and Bob joined in. Before they knew it, the song had ended.
"Do you know how do dance now?" asked Peepers.
"Yes, bit I have a problem. I don't have any legs," replied Millard.
"What?" cried Leia.
"I don't have any legs. I'm a ghost. Ghosts don't have legs," said Millard calmly.
Just then they heard a BOING! But none of them went flying through space. Instead, some one they thought they'd gotten rid of landed behind Bob.
Miz Z.
She tapped Bob on the shoulder. Bob slowly turned around, already knowing that he wouldn't like what he was going to see.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Bob.
"You thought you could get away from me, did you? No one gets away from me!" yelled Miz Z.
"That's because no on can get around you, you're so fat," muttered Leia.
"I heard that! Infinity lines for you!" roared Miz Z.
"You can't make me," said Leia.
"Oh I can't?" asked Miz Z.
'No, you can't," replied Leia.
"How come?"
"Because you're not in charge of us anymore."
"So what?" asked Miz Z.
"You can't make us write lines."
"Why don't you just leave us alone? What did we ever do to you?" said Luke.
"Nothing, but I don't leave you alone because I know that you'll do what I say," answered Miz Z.
"Well we won't any more!" said Leia.
Just then they all heard a BOING! and watched Peepers fly through space.
"O no! Come back Peepers!" said Chewy.
"Well, there's only one thing to do! Everybody make fun of Miz Z!"
So everybody did. They sang:
Miz Z, Miz Z, Would you like some tea? Of course you would! You're always hungry. Miz Z, Miz Z, Why R U so mean to me? Is it because you're as fat as can be? Miz Z, Miz Z, Why did you squash that there flea? If you wanted to, you could squash everybody I see!
"Quit making fun of me or I'll squash you!" yelled Miz Z.
"Why don't you just go home, big fat smelly mean weird dumb stupid blubbery Miz Z?" asked Leia.
"I don't have to take this. I'm going home," said Miz Z, who left.
"Yea! She's gone once and for all!" said Leia.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked Leia.
"We go flying through space!" answered Han, just as they heard the BOING!
"Achoo," said Millard, "wow, this place is old and dusty!"
"Yes, and we appear to be in a maze of some sort, inside a planet of some sort," said C3PO.
"O no, not another maze!" whined Bob.
"Squibba wibba gleep glorp 100 fi fa fla fo fle," said R2.
"R2 said this maze is 100 square miles wide and long," said C3PO.
"Well, then I suppose that we should start walking," said Bob.
So they did.
"Golly gee, this is one deep dark maze!" said Millard.
"No duh!" said Bob.
"Hum diddly dum, la la la," hummed an invisible weirdo.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Bob told the invisible weirdo.
"No," said the invisible weirdo.
"Yes!" said Bob.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes yes yes!"
"No no no!"
"Quit fighting! You don't even know who you're fighting with!" said Han.
"I'm fighting with and invisible weirdo!" said Bob.
"I'm not a weirdo, you're weirdo!" said the invisible weirdo.
"Well why can't I see you?" asked Bob.
"Because I'm invisible and I stay here all day long doing nothing."
"O," said Bob O, "bye-bye!"
Then the floor opened up and they all fell through it.
"Great. Where are we now?" asked Bob.
"We're in an underground country ham store," said the invisible weirdo.
"I knew that," said Bob.
"It smells hammish in her," said Millard.
"No, really? I hadn't noticed!" said Han sarcastically.
"I'm hungry," complained Leia.
"Me too," said Luke.
"Let's eat then," cried Bob.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," warned the invisible weirdo.
"Why?" asked Millard.
Before the invisible weirdo could answer, a big, mean, fat (almost as fat as Miz Z, but not quite) giant came out.
"Fe fi fo fum, I smell someone trying to steal my hams!" cried the giant.
"O deary!" said Bob. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH1" screamed everybody else.
"Run, everyone!" said Bob.
So everyone ran. It turned out that there was a small trap door that the monster couldn't fit through there, so they went out it.
"Wowee, that was close!" said Bob.
"Where are we now?" asked Chewy.
"In the Cactus Desert," said the invisible weirdo.
"O," said Bob O.
"I'm still hungry," complained Leia.
"I, too!" said Bob.
"Me too," said everybody else.
"You can eat the cactuses. They taste like cookies," said the invisible weirdo.
So they all ate the cactuses. They did indeed taste like cookies.
"Now how do we get out of here?" asked Bob.
"Go to that big cactus over there and turned right," said the invisible weirdo.
The invisible weirdo told them some more. Han thanked him and they left.
Then they went to the cactus and turned right. They walked right until they saw no more cactuses.
"Invisible weirdo, what do we do now?" asked Bob.
"Walk all the way across that there where there here there where there desert," said the invisible weirdo.
"No way!" said Millard.
"Well, you have to get to your spaceship," the invisible weirdo said.
"How would you know?" asked Han.
"I just do, so get walkin'!" commanded the invisible weirdo.
So they got walkin'. On the way, they soon met a red potato.
"Hi, I'm Oswald!" it said.
"Are you a Walla Walla?" asked Bob.
"I'm not sure. I might be," Oswald said.
"O," said Bob O.
"What are your names?" asked Oswald.
"We are Bob, Han, Luke, Leia, Chewy, and Millard. We come in peace," answered Bob.
"O. So do I. So what are you doing way out here?" asked Oswald.
"We have to walk across this there here there where there desert," said Bob.
"Shall I come along?" asked Oswald.
"All righty," answered Bob.
So they walked a long time, and then they saw a mouse, floating in the air.
"Heidi ho, neighbor Joe!" said Bob.
"My name's Mortimer. Now scram!"
"But why?" questioned Bob.
But by that time, Mortimer had floated off and was gone.
"Who was that weirdo?" asked Leia.
"Floating Mortimer," answered Bob.
"O no! A thunderstorm!" said Han.
"In the desert?" asked Luke.
"Yep, and it's your lucky day. I just happen to have my blow-up thunderstorm shelter with me!" said Oswald.
So Oswald set it up and everyone went under it. The thunderstorm ended 5 minutes later.
"Brrrrrrrrrrr!" said a freezing oddball.
"Who are you?" asked Chewy.
"I'm Chilly Willy. I'm always chilly!" he said as he shivered.
"But it's almost 100 degrees out here!" said Bob.
"What an oddball," said Leia.
"Come on along," said Millard.
So Chilly Willy did. After walking for another 3 hours and 27 minutes, they spotted the ship, and everyone got in and they blasted off.
"We're outta here!" said Han happily.
"Earth, here we come!" said Bob.
"You live on Earth too? So do I! Were you getting BOINGed around?" questioned Chilly Willy.
"Yes, I was," replied Bob.
"Bad news. Earth's on the other side of the universe, so it might be awhile until we get there," said Han.
"O deary, golly gee, that's mighty far away!" exclaimed Oswald and Millard.
"Fresh pizza, come and get it!" said Leia. Everybody chowed down on the pizza and ham. It was awful yummy!
"That was very good pizza!" exclaimed Chilly Willy.
Before anyone could answer, they crashed into something.
"What's that?" asked Millard.
"I don't know. Let's go investigate!" cried Han.
So they did. When they stepped out, there was a horrible smell.
"I hope this isn't another piece of moldy cheese," said Bob. "Me too," replied Chewy.
"What is it then?" asked Han.
"I don't know, but I hope we don't have to stay here long," cried Millard.
"Bleep blip gleep glorp fe fi," said R2-D2.
"He said that the smell is because Bob hasn't taken a shower in 1 month," said C3PO.
"Yuck!" exclaimed Leia.
"I have to! C3PO's lying!" shouted Bob.
"O yeah? Well, you do smell like a moldy cheese," said C3PO.
"Well you smell like rotten ham!" Bob yelled back.
"Quit fighting and help me fix the ship! I want to leave!" commanded Han.
So everybody helped fix the ship and soon they blasted off to light speed and were on their way.
"Me sleepy," said Oswald.
"Me two," Luke said.
"Me three," said Millard.
"Me five," Bob agreed.
So then everybody went to sleep and the ship kept going. But a few hours later, they heard the BOING! and were all awakened by it.
"O no!" said Han, "The BOING boinged us somewhere and now I don't know where we are!"
They stopped at the nearest planet to ask for directions.
"Hey, blob-looking thing! Can you tell us how to get to the planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy from here?" inquired Bob.
"Why, yes. You take right and go right for about 3 million light-years, and then you turn left until you get to earth, which is about 1 billion light-years," it answered. "Thanks a lot, you've been most helpful," said Bob.
"Well, we've got some travelling to do! Everybody back in!" said Han.
So they traveled right. After the first million light-years, Bob said, "I'm bored."
"Me too," agreed everybody else.
"Well what do we do?" asked Oswald.
"Let's play I spy! I spy a purple planet with 1,053 rings around it," said Millard.
"I spy someone who smells bad," said C3PO.
"Don't start," warned Leia.
"Yodel-ay he hoooooooo!" yodeled Bob.
"Hey, what's that?" inquired Luke.
"It's an alien spaceship!" answered Chewy.
"Shoot it, Han!" yelled Bob.
"No way," said Han.
51 seconds later it disappeared into space.
"Me still bored," said Oswald.
"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," shivered Chilly Willy.
"Is there a bathroom on this ship?" asked Bob.
"No," answered Han.
"Well then, we need to stop at the next planet," said Bob.
"While we're there, take a shower," requested C3PO.
"If you don't stop it, I'm going to unplug you," warned Leia.
~*MISSING PAGESL*~
"Wowee! We're finally going to be back! Good old Earth!" said Bob.
"There's Mars! We're getting close!" said Millard.
"I see it! I see it! I see it!" exclaimed Bob.
So they landed safely on Earth in the desert somewhere in Australia.
"Where are we, Bob?" questioned Han.
"If my calculations are correct, somewhere on Earth," said Bob sarcastically, "now, where's Sam the Ham's Pizza Shop?'
"Bob! Why don't you turn around? You just might find it!" said Leia.
"O my, golly gee, there it is!" said Bob happily.
And Bob took 2 steps and was inside the pizza shop that wasn't named for Sam the Ham, but still had his name.
"I'd like a Big Sammy with lots of ham and some blue pineapple," ordered Bob.
"Blue pineapple?" asked Sam the Ham.
"My, my do I have a story to tell you! I've been BOINGing around the entire universe!"
"What's a pizza?" asked Han.
"Who are you?" asked Mrs. O.
"Everybody, these are my friends I met in space: Han, Leia, Luke, Millard, Oswald, Chewy, and Chilly Willy."
"AAAAAAAAAAH! A ghost!" screamed Bob's baby brother, Freddy Boy.
"Don't be afraid of Millard," said Bob.
"Why not?" asked Freddy Boy.
"Because he's a nice ghost," explained Bob.
"Brr, I'm cold," interjected Chilly Willy.
Then, their pizza got there. It had lots of ham and some blue pineapple, just like Bob had ordered.
"My pizza! I'm going to eat all 33 pieces of it by myself!" Bob said, "And don't make me use my lightsaber!"
"It's my lightsaber! Now give it back!" said Luke.
"As I said before, finders keepers, losers weepers!" said Bob.
"But you stole it! It's MINE! You don't know how to use it!" protested Luke.
"All righty, you can have it back," said Bob, handing Luke the lightsaber.
"Thanks," said Luke.
"For that, I get to eat the whole pizza!" Bob announced.
"You always do," said Charlesette.
"I know," said Bob proudly.
Then everyone, not including Bob, left in the spaceship and Bob lived happily ever after.
The End!