A/N: It's still Tolkien's story, except for Manda and Candy.
"So who are we supposed to be waiting for again?" asked Manda in a monotone voice.
"The King Theoden, and some friends we parted with before being captured by orcs." Merry answered faintly.
"Oh." Manda looked out across the oily, murky water that used to be dry land. Tall dark trees were everywhere, with a few moving around slowly and carefully. Those would be the ents, circling around and keeping an eye on things. Creepy... she suppressed a shudder and looked back to her friends. A few minutes passed before she started to ask "So who are we wait-"
"King and friends." Merry and Pippin had been closer to the siege, of course, and told them the details of what had happened. The ents had been throwing themselves at the tower and going crazy at first, being so enraged. Treebeard had calmed them down again and made them back off, to dam up some river and divert the flow to 'clean' the tower and all of the gross tunnels around it. The ents were keeping watch over the place to make sure Saruman didn't escape, since he was still in there, along with a weird little man called Wormtongue. He'd shown up after the initial storming, but had managed to get himself stuck just the same. Manda felt sorry for him, being stuck in there with a smelly old man. Meanwhile, they were waiting for the King Theoden and some of the hobbit's friends, whoever they were.
Merry was smoking languidly at a pipe he'd found floating near some wreckage, which, luckily for him, had partly consisted of what he just called weed. Candy had erupted into a fit of hysterical giggles when he had said 'weed.' Now she just sprawled out, dozing and singing the song 'I'm Just a Girl' by No Doubt. (Wendy: Not the Britney Spears song! No Doubt's.) Pippin was asleep nearby. He'd practically passed out after smoking a little and giving the pipe to Merry.
Manda glared over at Merry in annoyance. "You shouldn't smoke." How frank.
Merry peered through the thin cloud of smoke and asked, "Why not?"
Manda sniffed. "For one, that smells. I mean, how can you LIKE running around smelling like burnt paper? AND the fact that you'll probably get lung cancer and DIE like my uncle, which sucked, because he was cool. It's bad for ya, man."
"What's cancer?"
Manda hunkered down where she sat. "Big sickness. No like. You no want cancer. Don't smoke."
Merry blinked. "Why are you talking like that? You're acting like I'm stupid..." " Cuz you are! Or at least ignor-" but Merry raised a hand and cut her off. They could hear the sound of many nearby hoofbeats. Kind of funny, the turned there heads, intending to watch whoever was coming approach, but to their surprise, the source was already RIGHT THERE. There was a BUNCH of guys on horses. No point in trying to count all of them... But Manda tried anyway. She actually started pointing at each one and saying numbers, but got lost and gave up.
Merry leaped to his big hobbit feet, and Manda followed suit, wanting to make a good impression. She watched him bow to the group and mimicked him. Almost immediately he started spouting off a bunch of eloquent sentences that Manda would never have been able to come up with off of the top of her head. He made Manda feel stupid, just standing there. She noticed a lot of the riders were eying her. Probably because she was wearing weird clothes, she was young, a GIRL, and she was blushing. Blushing, at a time like this. Damn you, shy monster!
Merry dug a foot into Pippin's sleeping form, introducing himself and Manda nonchalantly (which made her blush more,) then Pippin. All of the eyes that had been on her went to Candy. Manda immediately bounded over and crouched down so she could talk to her without the horse guys hearing.
"Hey! Hey, Candy! Say hello to the king or whatever, he's here. And he has a lot of people on horses and they have lots of swords. So be polite, please!"
Candy growled in a loud voice, "Does it involve moving?!" She asked, because she was comfortable, and tired.
"Yeah... but Candy, it's a king! You hafta get up and say hi because he's a king and he'll have a royal fit because you know how those royal dudes always act so just get up you damn idiot!" she was whispering shrilly.
Candy's voice rose to a yell. "GO AWAY! I'm trying to get some sleep, so BITE ME!"
The riders were chuckling quietly now. Manda glowered down at Candy. "Candy, get your ass up now or I swear I will KILL YOU!" the last bit come out rather unintentionally as a snarl.
Candy rolled over onto her back and yelled up at her, "MANDA! Leave me alone when I'm SLEEPIN'! I swear, if you don't stop I'll take one of your cats and fling it by its tail into the water then watch it drown and LAUGH, so SHUDDUP!"
"What'd you say?"
"I said I'll drown one of your cats if you keep bugging me about your imaginary king and big army," said Candy loudly enough to reach the horse riders at the back of the crowd.
Merry and Pippin looked nervously at the girls and then at the company. They cleared their throats pointedly, which only Manda got the gist of.
Manda stood up, faced the king, and said in her best English, "King Theoden of. somewhere in." she faltered and stuttered. She didn't remember any of the big weird names she had been told. All the men were staring at her, and she could feel her cheeks burning. "I apologize for my friend's behavior," she continued, glancing down at Candy. "Hopefully later, when she's awake, she will apologize and have the pleasure of your acquaintance." She felt a little cheesey talking like that.
At this Candy stood up and exploded in Manda's face, "What do you think you're DOING?! Alright, I'll say hi to your little imaginary king, then will you let me go to sleep?" Candy turned and stopped. Her eyes widened and her jaws grew slack. Manda looked over at Pippin and Merry. They were smiling the same way Manda was. Manda grinned, a little sadistically.
Candy looked back at Manda, then Theoden King and whispered to herself "Holy Shinanagins, there really is a big army and a king."
Theoden looked at the young girl, and assuming she was still in shock, said, "Hello young lady. I'm glad to see you have awakened. How are you feeling? I understand you not getting up and greeting me. Your fair with the orcs must have been a hard blow to such a fragile girl."
Manda raised her eyebrows and muttered, "Fragile?" Which got Pippin and Merry chuckling.
Candy got over her shock and said in a very Big Gay Al way, "I'm super, thanks for asking! And how are you? I bet you're so tired from riding all day and cooking in that armor!" She flashed a very white and innocent smile. Manda looked at her in disbelief and disgust. She could be such a suck-up sometimes. Theoden and Candy were about to talk again, but some old guy in a white robe and a pointy white hat, Manda guessed he was the wizard dude the hobbits had talked about, hobbled up. He said that they had to go on and find Treebeard. They bid their farewells along with Theoden promising to talk with Merry and Pippin about the origination of hobbit weed, and with Candy about anything.
As they rode around the north end of Isengard, Candy walked back to where she had been sleeping, laid down and started to doze off again when Manda came over and said, "Candy, you need to get your sleepy butt up and meet some more people. These are three of the guys that started of in the original group with Merry and Pippin."
Candy moaned and got up irritably. She stomped over to Pippin and Merry, who were standing next to a tall stern man with gray eyes. He looked a lot like Theoden in the way he held himself, very kingly. Candy shook hands, punched him on the shoulder like a guy would do to a friend, muttered a hello, then moved on to a blonde thin dude who had pointy ears, did the same and went to the third, leaving the other two in shock of how they were greeted. Then, unfortunately, she met the short, long, bushy bearded man. She reached out to shake hands, then froze and snatched her fist back, yelling, "What IS that? Dude, it's like Sleepy Hollow!"
"Don't be rude!" yelled Manda. "That's Gimli the dwarf and you didn't even learn the names of the two before. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and this Legolas, son of Thranduil, of Mirkwood," Manda said, pointing to each of the people in turn. Candy raised her eyebrows at Manda, shrugged, said nice to meet you, then went back to her spot and tried to fall asleep, but of course, Manda wouldn't allow it. She came over, bent over Candy's snoozing figure and started tickling her furiously.
Candy started screaming and thrashing about. The new companions that had just joined them were staring at them in bewilderment. Who with any dignity at all would roll about on the ground making one another scream in such a dreadful place as Isengard. Still, it *was* fairly amusing, watching them scream and pitch such a fit. It was obvious they were a little dimwitted, though. Who could behave like that in such a place?
Meanwhile, Candy was showing her weird tendency to roll onto whoever was tickling her and start biting. Because of this, Manda and Candy started rolling on the ground, Manda trying to get Candy off so she could breathe, and Candy trying to make her stop tickling by crushing her. They were both screaming like crazy, reminiscent of wet cats fighting. The five members of the fellowship watched in amusement for about a minute, then with anxiety when Manda started pulling Candy's hair.
Candy followed suit, and they were both shrieking at the top of their lungs, when Pippin jumped into the mess. Manda backhanded him on a reflex and sent him toppling to the ground, mostly because she caught him off guard. Merry tried to intervene too, but Candy eventually kicked him upside the head and sent him sprawling into Pippin, who had been getting up. It didn't seem like they would be finished fighting any time soon when two strong hands roughly jerked them apart.
This seemed to be enough to bring the sense back to them. They sat, staring at each other and panting. It startled them when Gimli's rough voice said, "Young ladies ought to know better than to fight in the dirt like mutts!"
In unison they tore away from him, dashing onto a pile of fallen rocks and staring, wide eyed. Candy gasped, "Get it away, get it away!" much to Manda's annoyance.
"You're so rude!" Manda snarled and pushed her off of the rocks. Candy landed none to lightly, but unhurt overall. She got up, dusting herself off, and left in a huff.
Manda remained on the rock, watching Candy stomp off. When she was lost from view she turned back to the fellowship. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"
Later, the fellowship and Manda were sitting in a little hut, previously a guard room, and talking about stuff. They seemed a little unwilling to talk about the details of their journey because Manda was there, but of course, she didn't have the sense to leave them to themselves. She just sat there and nodded every time they made subtle suggestions for her to remove herself.
"I'm worried about the r- ah, Frodo. He and Sam surely can't finish the journey by themselves? They could get caught-"
"Who's Frodo? And Sam? And why would they get caught?" interrupted Manda.
"Some of our companions. They left us earlier. And they could get caught because they're in an enemy territory." Aragorn said patiently.
"Why?" asked Manda slowly.
"Because they have some business there." Aragorn responded, his tone the same as before.
"What kind of business?" asked Manda, her tone wheedling.
"Nothing important-" Aragorn started to say, but-
"Then why are they there?" Manda blurted.
"Because they-"
"I mean, it seems kind of stupid to go in if it isn't important and they could get captured in enemy territory." Manda said quickly.
"Look, they're there because they need to transport some important goods and it's the only way to do it. It's really nothing to worry about." Aragorn said, his tone still patient.
"I don't believe you," said Manda happily. She was enjoying bugging the poor guy.
"Well, that's not his problem," said Legolas quietly. "Please, Miss."
"Jones." Manda supplied.
"Please, Miss Jones, please leave. You aren't wanted at the moment." He said, almost nervously.
Manda arched a brow. "I'm not wanted?"
"That's right. Please leave, we'll call you when we wish to speak to you again." Legolas slowly stated. He must've really been feeling his age around such an immature kid.
Manda's eyes began to water. "You don't- Nobody wants me!!" With that, she got up and ran out of the room, hiding her face with her hands.
Aragorn, Gimli, and the Hobbits all turned and icy look on Legolas.
Meanwhile, Manda immediately stopped the sobbing mumbo jumbo and shoved her hands into her pockets, glowering at the dirt. 'How rude! To just tell me to leave like that, he could've been more subtle. Who does he think he is, Jerry Springer?' She would be getting the stupid elf back, that much was sure.
"So who are we supposed to be waiting for again?" asked Manda in a monotone voice.
"The King Theoden, and some friends we parted with before being captured by orcs." Merry answered faintly.
"Oh." Manda looked out across the oily, murky water that used to be dry land. Tall dark trees were everywhere, with a few moving around slowly and carefully. Those would be the ents, circling around and keeping an eye on things. Creepy... she suppressed a shudder and looked back to her friends. A few minutes passed before she started to ask "So who are we wait-"
"King and friends." Merry and Pippin had been closer to the siege, of course, and told them the details of what had happened. The ents had been throwing themselves at the tower and going crazy at first, being so enraged. Treebeard had calmed them down again and made them back off, to dam up some river and divert the flow to 'clean' the tower and all of the gross tunnels around it. The ents were keeping watch over the place to make sure Saruman didn't escape, since he was still in there, along with a weird little man called Wormtongue. He'd shown up after the initial storming, but had managed to get himself stuck just the same. Manda felt sorry for him, being stuck in there with a smelly old man. Meanwhile, they were waiting for the King Theoden and some of the hobbit's friends, whoever they were.
Merry was smoking languidly at a pipe he'd found floating near some wreckage, which, luckily for him, had partly consisted of what he just called weed. Candy had erupted into a fit of hysterical giggles when he had said 'weed.' Now she just sprawled out, dozing and singing the song 'I'm Just a Girl' by No Doubt. (Wendy: Not the Britney Spears song! No Doubt's.) Pippin was asleep nearby. He'd practically passed out after smoking a little and giving the pipe to Merry.
Manda glared over at Merry in annoyance. "You shouldn't smoke." How frank.
Merry peered through the thin cloud of smoke and asked, "Why not?"
Manda sniffed. "For one, that smells. I mean, how can you LIKE running around smelling like burnt paper? AND the fact that you'll probably get lung cancer and DIE like my uncle, which sucked, because he was cool. It's bad for ya, man."
"What's cancer?"
Manda hunkered down where she sat. "Big sickness. No like. You no want cancer. Don't smoke."
Merry blinked. "Why are you talking like that? You're acting like I'm stupid..." " Cuz you are! Or at least ignor-" but Merry raised a hand and cut her off. They could hear the sound of many nearby hoofbeats. Kind of funny, the turned there heads, intending to watch whoever was coming approach, but to their surprise, the source was already RIGHT THERE. There was a BUNCH of guys on horses. No point in trying to count all of them... But Manda tried anyway. She actually started pointing at each one and saying numbers, but got lost and gave up.
Merry leaped to his big hobbit feet, and Manda followed suit, wanting to make a good impression. She watched him bow to the group and mimicked him. Almost immediately he started spouting off a bunch of eloquent sentences that Manda would never have been able to come up with off of the top of her head. He made Manda feel stupid, just standing there. She noticed a lot of the riders were eying her. Probably because she was wearing weird clothes, she was young, a GIRL, and she was blushing. Blushing, at a time like this. Damn you, shy monster!
Merry dug a foot into Pippin's sleeping form, introducing himself and Manda nonchalantly (which made her blush more,) then Pippin. All of the eyes that had been on her went to Candy. Manda immediately bounded over and crouched down so she could talk to her without the horse guys hearing.
"Hey! Hey, Candy! Say hello to the king or whatever, he's here. And he has a lot of people on horses and they have lots of swords. So be polite, please!"
Candy growled in a loud voice, "Does it involve moving?!" She asked, because she was comfortable, and tired.
"Yeah... but Candy, it's a king! You hafta get up and say hi because he's a king and he'll have a royal fit because you know how those royal dudes always act so just get up you damn idiot!" she was whispering shrilly.
Candy's voice rose to a yell. "GO AWAY! I'm trying to get some sleep, so BITE ME!"
The riders were chuckling quietly now. Manda glowered down at Candy. "Candy, get your ass up now or I swear I will KILL YOU!" the last bit come out rather unintentionally as a snarl.
Candy rolled over onto her back and yelled up at her, "MANDA! Leave me alone when I'm SLEEPIN'! I swear, if you don't stop I'll take one of your cats and fling it by its tail into the water then watch it drown and LAUGH, so SHUDDUP!"
"What'd you say?"
"I said I'll drown one of your cats if you keep bugging me about your imaginary king and big army," said Candy loudly enough to reach the horse riders at the back of the crowd.
Merry and Pippin looked nervously at the girls and then at the company. They cleared their throats pointedly, which only Manda got the gist of.
Manda stood up, faced the king, and said in her best English, "King Theoden of. somewhere in." she faltered and stuttered. She didn't remember any of the big weird names she had been told. All the men were staring at her, and she could feel her cheeks burning. "I apologize for my friend's behavior," she continued, glancing down at Candy. "Hopefully later, when she's awake, she will apologize and have the pleasure of your acquaintance." She felt a little cheesey talking like that.
At this Candy stood up and exploded in Manda's face, "What do you think you're DOING?! Alright, I'll say hi to your little imaginary king, then will you let me go to sleep?" Candy turned and stopped. Her eyes widened and her jaws grew slack. Manda looked over at Pippin and Merry. They were smiling the same way Manda was. Manda grinned, a little sadistically.
Candy looked back at Manda, then Theoden King and whispered to herself "Holy Shinanagins, there really is a big army and a king."
Theoden looked at the young girl, and assuming she was still in shock, said, "Hello young lady. I'm glad to see you have awakened. How are you feeling? I understand you not getting up and greeting me. Your fair with the orcs must have been a hard blow to such a fragile girl."
Manda raised her eyebrows and muttered, "Fragile?" Which got Pippin and Merry chuckling.
Candy got over her shock and said in a very Big Gay Al way, "I'm super, thanks for asking! And how are you? I bet you're so tired from riding all day and cooking in that armor!" She flashed a very white and innocent smile. Manda looked at her in disbelief and disgust. She could be such a suck-up sometimes. Theoden and Candy were about to talk again, but some old guy in a white robe and a pointy white hat, Manda guessed he was the wizard dude the hobbits had talked about, hobbled up. He said that they had to go on and find Treebeard. They bid their farewells along with Theoden promising to talk with Merry and Pippin about the origination of hobbit weed, and with Candy about anything.
As they rode around the north end of Isengard, Candy walked back to where she had been sleeping, laid down and started to doze off again when Manda came over and said, "Candy, you need to get your sleepy butt up and meet some more people. These are three of the guys that started of in the original group with Merry and Pippin."
Candy moaned and got up irritably. She stomped over to Pippin and Merry, who were standing next to a tall stern man with gray eyes. He looked a lot like Theoden in the way he held himself, very kingly. Candy shook hands, punched him on the shoulder like a guy would do to a friend, muttered a hello, then moved on to a blonde thin dude who had pointy ears, did the same and went to the third, leaving the other two in shock of how they were greeted. Then, unfortunately, she met the short, long, bushy bearded man. She reached out to shake hands, then froze and snatched her fist back, yelling, "What IS that? Dude, it's like Sleepy Hollow!"
"Don't be rude!" yelled Manda. "That's Gimli the dwarf and you didn't even learn the names of the two before. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and this Legolas, son of Thranduil, of Mirkwood," Manda said, pointing to each of the people in turn. Candy raised her eyebrows at Manda, shrugged, said nice to meet you, then went back to her spot and tried to fall asleep, but of course, Manda wouldn't allow it. She came over, bent over Candy's snoozing figure and started tickling her furiously.
Candy started screaming and thrashing about. The new companions that had just joined them were staring at them in bewilderment. Who with any dignity at all would roll about on the ground making one another scream in such a dreadful place as Isengard. Still, it *was* fairly amusing, watching them scream and pitch such a fit. It was obvious they were a little dimwitted, though. Who could behave like that in such a place?
Meanwhile, Candy was showing her weird tendency to roll onto whoever was tickling her and start biting. Because of this, Manda and Candy started rolling on the ground, Manda trying to get Candy off so she could breathe, and Candy trying to make her stop tickling by crushing her. They were both screaming like crazy, reminiscent of wet cats fighting. The five members of the fellowship watched in amusement for about a minute, then with anxiety when Manda started pulling Candy's hair.
Candy followed suit, and they were both shrieking at the top of their lungs, when Pippin jumped into the mess. Manda backhanded him on a reflex and sent him toppling to the ground, mostly because she caught him off guard. Merry tried to intervene too, but Candy eventually kicked him upside the head and sent him sprawling into Pippin, who had been getting up. It didn't seem like they would be finished fighting any time soon when two strong hands roughly jerked them apart.
This seemed to be enough to bring the sense back to them. They sat, staring at each other and panting. It startled them when Gimli's rough voice said, "Young ladies ought to know better than to fight in the dirt like mutts!"
In unison they tore away from him, dashing onto a pile of fallen rocks and staring, wide eyed. Candy gasped, "Get it away, get it away!" much to Manda's annoyance.
"You're so rude!" Manda snarled and pushed her off of the rocks. Candy landed none to lightly, but unhurt overall. She got up, dusting herself off, and left in a huff.
Manda remained on the rock, watching Candy stomp off. When she was lost from view she turned back to the fellowship. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"
Later, the fellowship and Manda were sitting in a little hut, previously a guard room, and talking about stuff. They seemed a little unwilling to talk about the details of their journey because Manda was there, but of course, she didn't have the sense to leave them to themselves. She just sat there and nodded every time they made subtle suggestions for her to remove herself.
"I'm worried about the r- ah, Frodo. He and Sam surely can't finish the journey by themselves? They could get caught-"
"Who's Frodo? And Sam? And why would they get caught?" interrupted Manda.
"Some of our companions. They left us earlier. And they could get caught because they're in an enemy territory." Aragorn said patiently.
"Why?" asked Manda slowly.
"Because they have some business there." Aragorn responded, his tone the same as before.
"What kind of business?" asked Manda, her tone wheedling.
"Nothing important-" Aragorn started to say, but-
"Then why are they there?" Manda blurted.
"Because they-"
"I mean, it seems kind of stupid to go in if it isn't important and they could get captured in enemy territory." Manda said quickly.
"Look, they're there because they need to transport some important goods and it's the only way to do it. It's really nothing to worry about." Aragorn said, his tone still patient.
"I don't believe you," said Manda happily. She was enjoying bugging the poor guy.
"Well, that's not his problem," said Legolas quietly. "Please, Miss."
"Jones." Manda supplied.
"Please, Miss Jones, please leave. You aren't wanted at the moment." He said, almost nervously.
Manda arched a brow. "I'm not wanted?"
"That's right. Please leave, we'll call you when we wish to speak to you again." Legolas slowly stated. He must've really been feeling his age around such an immature kid.
Manda's eyes began to water. "You don't- Nobody wants me!!" With that, she got up and ran out of the room, hiding her face with her hands.
Aragorn, Gimli, and the Hobbits all turned and icy look on Legolas.
Meanwhile, Manda immediately stopped the sobbing mumbo jumbo and shoved her hands into her pockets, glowering at the dirt. 'How rude! To just tell me to leave like that, he could've been more subtle. Who does he think he is, Jerry Springer?' She would be getting the stupid elf back, that much was sure.