Title: Always
Chapter: #6 – I am the truth…
Author: Nevoreiel (lamort_noir@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Rating: R just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)
Summary: Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.
Disclaimer: The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?
Warning: The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. Not as much for this chapter either.
Notes: This chapter title also comes from NIN's "The Downward Spiral" CD, the song's called "Mr. Self-Destruct". (As you can see I adore that CD completely) This is Draco's point of view taking place in the Forbidden Forest.
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I'm starting to doubt myself. Why did I ever let Pot… no… Harry talk me into this. It's cold for October and standing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest was never one of my wishes. I think he won't be able to find me; this was a very stupid idea of his. But what's new.
There is rustle off to the side and I can't help but start. Turns out that it's Harry with that confounded Invisibility Cloak. Easy for him to sneak around like that. I have to be careful and try to blend into the walls.
"Potter, never sneak up on me like that ever again," I might be able to call him Harry in my thoughts but actually speaking it will be my undoing.
He smiles a ghostly smile, "I thought we were past such childish games. And I'm fairly sure that it was you who called me Harry. Just yesterday as I recall."
Ah, so he did hear my words, this only makes me angrier, "I did, Harry, but you did not seem to care."
"Actually you were the deaf one if I remember correctly and then you had the audacity to blackmail me and then leave me… but I won't go into details I'm sure you've written it all down. But I shouldn't get off topic or loose my temper that would be quite useless," there was bitterness in his voice and his face contorts in distaste.
I am taken aback by that accusation and my carefully put up façade cracks a little more, "What did you want to talk about then?"
"Let's walk," he gestures towards the forest. I just shrug and walk into the trees. The crunching footsteps behind me speed up and Harry walks by my side.
I glance at him but he just stares at his feet as we make our way to god knows where, "Say something already. I've not come here to walk in the woods."
If anything Harry just looks doubtful, "See now, you made me forget it."
"Wasn't that important then," what would be so hard to say?
"Alright, you want me to talk? So I'll talk, but don't interrupt me, " I shrug again, he really isn't behaving Potter-like.
"You might think that you're untouchable, anything wrong you do will go by like nothing happened. I still maintain that anything you want you get. Otherwise you wouldn't be as vain and inconsiderate to absolutely everyone who is not exactly like you. I believe you seriously think that the world revolves around you and that just because you've had me I will crawl to you on my knees," this is going too far, I think I've started spluttering, he glares at me and continues, "Yes, I believe that's exactly what you think. Otherwise why else would you propose that dreadful idea of obeying you like a slave. I think you abhor the very idea that there are people who don't like you and won't obey you. Just so you know I'm one of those people."
With a deep breath he calms himself and stops. I can't comprehend how he could do that; tell the truth that wasn't even clear to me.
I must look dreadful because Harry looks at me strangely. I think I've finally earned myself the pity of the Boy Who Lived.
"I'm sorry," I say it so quietly that I don't think Harry has heard me.
"Does it even matter now? Don't you think that you can just apologize and everything will be made better," his anger returns and I don't think my apology has hit him yet. Doesn't he know that by the personality he drew up of me I shouldn't apologize for anything either.
"Are we done?" he's getting me mad all over again, I don't think I can take much more.
"No, we're not done. I'll not pass up a chance to lower you a little from the clouds," he stares off into the black woods around us.
"And there I though that you would say that I was a devil incarnate," I must always trust my sarcasm.
He actually smiles at this, "Not exactly, either way you have a much too high opinion of yourself."
"And you don't," simple really, anyone can see that. And I don't think I helped that image even a little bit. When it comes down to it, I'm just as everyone makes me out to be: selfish. Quite a revelation to me, I think I've gone lightheaded. Harry's right there so I grab his hand, he really doesn't know what to do with them, to steady myself.
"Malfoy, what on Earth?" he jerks his hand out of my grip. I really can't keep myself upright, my legs buckle under the weight of the realization and I fall onto my knees.
"What's wrong with you, get up," Harry has no sense at all. His hands awkwardly pull at my robes but as this can't pull me up he just gives up.
"Leave me be Harry, I'll crawl back by myself, no need to worry," true to my word I start crawling in the direction which I think is the direction from which we came from, can't be too sure though.
"Stop it, Malfoy, just stop it. You're proven it but the theatrics are too much," I twist my head around to take a look at him. I think he's blushing but you can never tell in this kind of light.
"Proven what exactly?" I slump to the ground, it's not too warm but it'll do for now.
"That you're sorry, I heard you, you know? Heard you the first time as well," he looks really uncomfortable.
"My, my, what good hearing you have," I can't help but twist my lips in the form of something like a smile.
"No, you see, I did hear you but that does not mean that I'll just accept it. You should pay for what you did, nothing's free, you should know that better than me," he says.
"But I did pay, you made sure of that in the Astronomy Tower, you have had your revenge. Can't we put this behind us?" now it's my turn to be uncomfortable, funny how Harry can turn the situation on me.
"No, what happened wasn't enough. You don't think that little scare was the extent of my revenge. I believe that you haven't learned the lesson yet, otherwise you wouldn't be as smug," oh, he really is insufferable. What have I gotten myself into?
"But I am so sorry. I would like to have your trust; can't you give that to me? I am the truth from which you run, don't you know? I would…I would like to have your… love," shit, why did I just say that? What demon possessed me? When did I become desperate?
"I can't just give you anything, you'll have to earn it. Or didn't you hear me when I said that nothing is free. And that includes my love, if you can ever earn it. And you certainly aren't the truth you're just the reality," his lips are set in a thin line. I think our conversation has come to an end. He's too clever for my good.
"Now, would you like to get up, please? You don't expect me to carry you all the way to the castle, do you?" he raises an eyebrow for emphasis.
"No, that kindness won't be needed. I think I can walk by myself, thanks," I get up slowly and make a show of brushing off the dirt from my immaculate robes. Harry sighs and purposefully walks away without seeing if I'm following. That's alright, I have what I need. Even that little admission of his gives me some hope.
Hmm, earn his love; I think I can do that. Shouldn't be too hard, knowing Harry.
I'll see what I can do.
To Be Continued…
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Next Installment: What exactly is Draco planning? Will Harry ever forgive Draco? And will Draco ever earn Harry's love? Answered in the next chapter. Most probably to be posted on September 3rd.
A/N: I think I've run into a pattern: 1 long chapter, 2 short chapters, 1 long chapter, etc. Which means the next one should be longer, yay. I've found out that I enjoy writing from Draco's point of view more than Harry's or maybe it was just that I didn't like that particular chapter. And Chapter 7 will be Harry's point of view again. I have grand plans for it. :)