CHAPTER TWO
"Aw, darn it. You've got me." Said George Bush as Zim barged into his bedroom in the White House. "I guess you'll be wantin' the country now."
"Yes…Yes I would. HA!"
"Really? This doesn't happen that often you know, I haven't had trainin' for this sorta thing."
"Yes, yes, that's very nice, now HAND OVER THE COUNTRY!"
"Well…I guess. Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"Oh. Alrighty then. Go ahead."
"VICTORY!!!"
Zim jumped up onto his bed, and threw up his fist in triumph. Gir burst in through the window and did a victory dance while singing Eye of the Tiger.
"It's the…Eye of the Tiiiger, it's the thrill of the fight…WHOO!"
At this point, Laura Bush walked in and screamed. Not only was there an alien on her bed, but there was a robot break-dancing on her carpet.
"George, what the heck is on our bed?…and on the carpet?"
"Well, hun, you see, this isn't our bed anymore. Or the carpet. We might have to take the emergency shuttle to the moon, cause, well, I have a feelin' this little guy's gonna take control of the planet. He already has the country. So, uh, let's go stake out the real estate so we can monopolize it when Jean Chrétien and the Queen get there. And I have a feeling things are gonna heat up between us and the general public."
"But….but…."
"I'm afraid the Earth-Monkey-Leader-Thing-Buffoon is correct, puny Earthen female. I own you. Now leave before I decide disintegrate you."
"Do what he says, pumpkin." Said George, leading Laura out of the room.
"BYE!" Gir shouted after them, waving hysterically. Zim buried his head in his hands and dragged Gir from the room.
"Come on Gir, we must find this "Jean Chrétien" Ape-Descendant-Thing and take him over too. TO THE CRUISER!!!"
"How many times are we gonna have ta' do this, master?"
"….I….don't…know. Maybe we should think about going…global. What do you think?"
"Who's the taco king? We gonna doom him too?"
"Gir…"
"Yeees?"
"No."
In the darkness of the city, Dib could barely make out where the Irken was taking him. He presumed he was going to take him to some dark, secluded place where he could implant things in his brain and do tests, HORRIBLE tests on him to make sure he was alive, and then alter that fact. Dib had a very avid imagination.
"What's your name?"
"Huh?"
"I said, what's your name?"
"…Dib. My name's Dib."
"Huh. Odd name, that. My name's Torin. Invader Torin, to be precise, though they probably presume me dead by now. I wonder if you're still an Invader after you're dead…"
"Dead?"
"More about that later…how'd YOU get here?"
"Zim dropped me here."
"Zim? Invader Zim?"
"Yeah, you know him?"
"Know him…HA! I know him alright. Failure in the academy. He didn't fail, of course, but he barely got by. Worst I've ever seen. He became an Invader, and the last I heard about him he had nearly destroyed the whole surface of our planet. The idiot."
"Are you saying that…he sucks?"
"YES, Earth-boy, I am. I can only imagine why the tallest sent him to your planet. Most likely a punishment, it's so far away from Irk…fool probably doesn't even realize it, either."
"How do you know I'm from Earth?"
"I've been there in my travels. I'm not exactly stranded here, I DO have a ship."
"Well, then you could take me back to Earth!"
"That's not a good idea."
"Why not?"
"I'll explain in a bit. We're here."
Here, as Torin called it, was a massive dome-shaped building that could have easily been a football stadium. The dome came all the way from the ground, and since they were so far up, they entered by means of a large catwalk near the apex of the dome. A door implanted in the side of it opened into an elevator. It took them nearly to the ground.
A blinding light filtered in through the cracks in the door of the elevator, and Dib could barely see when it opened. As soon as his eyes had adjusted, he saw that he was inside a sort of large subway station of some sort…with no subways. The ticketing booths were deserted.
"Don't worry, it's not like we have to pay anymore."
"Pay…for what?"
"The aero-tram, of course. Oh, that's right, you haven't even gotten past monorails on your planet yet…well, follow my lead and hang on. Well, there's not anything to hang onto really…well, there is, kind of…well - "
"Let's just go, shall we?" Dib interjected. Torin led him to a brightly marked patch on the ground, and stood on it.
"It just fits two people."
"Torin? I don't see anything."
"That's normal. This tram's made of energy."
"Energy? But - "
Dib didn't have time to finish his thought, because right at that moment he was shot forward. He didn't know how, but questions like that aren't relevant when you're essentially flying through the air. He and Torin gradually rose in elevation, to a small opening in the very top of the dome. They shot through, and then were propelled at what seemed to Dib about sixty miles an hour through the city; ducking and twisting, turning and dodging, zipping around buildings and bobbing over advertisements.
"Torin…we must be going about sixty!"
"Yeah…" Torin sounded disappointed.
"What?"
"That's not very fast."
"Not very fast??? What do you mean?"
"We've got a long way to go. We'll get faster than this, but not much. Maybe about seventy Earth-miles-an-hour."
"Seventy? It won't take us long then."
"Kid, we've got a quarter of a planet to cover."
"……oh."
"Aw, darn it. You've got me." Said George Bush as Zim barged into his bedroom in the White House. "I guess you'll be wantin' the country now."
"Yes…Yes I would. HA!"
"Really? This doesn't happen that often you know, I haven't had trainin' for this sorta thing."
"Yes, yes, that's very nice, now HAND OVER THE COUNTRY!"
"Well…I guess. Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"Oh. Alrighty then. Go ahead."
"VICTORY!!!"
Zim jumped up onto his bed, and threw up his fist in triumph. Gir burst in through the window and did a victory dance while singing Eye of the Tiger.
"It's the…Eye of the Tiiiger, it's the thrill of the fight…WHOO!"
At this point, Laura Bush walked in and screamed. Not only was there an alien on her bed, but there was a robot break-dancing on her carpet.
"George, what the heck is on our bed?…and on the carpet?"
"Well, hun, you see, this isn't our bed anymore. Or the carpet. We might have to take the emergency shuttle to the moon, cause, well, I have a feelin' this little guy's gonna take control of the planet. He already has the country. So, uh, let's go stake out the real estate so we can monopolize it when Jean Chrétien and the Queen get there. And I have a feeling things are gonna heat up between us and the general public."
"But….but…."
"I'm afraid the Earth-Monkey-Leader-Thing-Buffoon is correct, puny Earthen female. I own you. Now leave before I decide disintegrate you."
"Do what he says, pumpkin." Said George, leading Laura out of the room.
"BYE!" Gir shouted after them, waving hysterically. Zim buried his head in his hands and dragged Gir from the room.
"Come on Gir, we must find this "Jean Chrétien" Ape-Descendant-Thing and take him over too. TO THE CRUISER!!!"
"How many times are we gonna have ta' do this, master?"
"….I….don't…know. Maybe we should think about going…global. What do you think?"
"Who's the taco king? We gonna doom him too?"
"Gir…"
"Yeees?"
"No."
In the darkness of the city, Dib could barely make out where the Irken was taking him. He presumed he was going to take him to some dark, secluded place where he could implant things in his brain and do tests, HORRIBLE tests on him to make sure he was alive, and then alter that fact. Dib had a very avid imagination.
"What's your name?"
"Huh?"
"I said, what's your name?"
"…Dib. My name's Dib."
"Huh. Odd name, that. My name's Torin. Invader Torin, to be precise, though they probably presume me dead by now. I wonder if you're still an Invader after you're dead…"
"Dead?"
"More about that later…how'd YOU get here?"
"Zim dropped me here."
"Zim? Invader Zim?"
"Yeah, you know him?"
"Know him…HA! I know him alright. Failure in the academy. He didn't fail, of course, but he barely got by. Worst I've ever seen. He became an Invader, and the last I heard about him he had nearly destroyed the whole surface of our planet. The idiot."
"Are you saying that…he sucks?"
"YES, Earth-boy, I am. I can only imagine why the tallest sent him to your planet. Most likely a punishment, it's so far away from Irk…fool probably doesn't even realize it, either."
"How do you know I'm from Earth?"
"I've been there in my travels. I'm not exactly stranded here, I DO have a ship."
"Well, then you could take me back to Earth!"
"That's not a good idea."
"Why not?"
"I'll explain in a bit. We're here."
Here, as Torin called it, was a massive dome-shaped building that could have easily been a football stadium. The dome came all the way from the ground, and since they were so far up, they entered by means of a large catwalk near the apex of the dome. A door implanted in the side of it opened into an elevator. It took them nearly to the ground.
A blinding light filtered in through the cracks in the door of the elevator, and Dib could barely see when it opened. As soon as his eyes had adjusted, he saw that he was inside a sort of large subway station of some sort…with no subways. The ticketing booths were deserted.
"Don't worry, it's not like we have to pay anymore."
"Pay…for what?"
"The aero-tram, of course. Oh, that's right, you haven't even gotten past monorails on your planet yet…well, follow my lead and hang on. Well, there's not anything to hang onto really…well, there is, kind of…well - "
"Let's just go, shall we?" Dib interjected. Torin led him to a brightly marked patch on the ground, and stood on it.
"It just fits two people."
"Torin? I don't see anything."
"That's normal. This tram's made of energy."
"Energy? But - "
Dib didn't have time to finish his thought, because right at that moment he was shot forward. He didn't know how, but questions like that aren't relevant when you're essentially flying through the air. He and Torin gradually rose in elevation, to a small opening in the very top of the dome. They shot through, and then were propelled at what seemed to Dib about sixty miles an hour through the city; ducking and twisting, turning and dodging, zipping around buildings and bobbing over advertisements.
"Torin…we must be going about sixty!"
"Yeah…" Torin sounded disappointed.
"What?"
"That's not very fast."
"Not very fast??? What do you mean?"
"We've got a long way to go. We'll get faster than this, but not much. Maybe about seventy Earth-miles-an-hour."
"Seventy? It won't take us long then."
"Kid, we've got a quarter of a planet to cover."
"……oh."