Countdown: 19th Nervous Breakdown
By ElsaF
Disclaimer: 19th Nervous Breakdown is copyrighted to Mick
Jagger and Keith Richards, 1965. All characters here belong to
Mutany Enemy/Joss Whedon.
Summary: I never meant "The Twenty-Fourth" to be kicking
off a series, but I find that it did whether I planned it or not.
This is a sequel to "The Twenty-Fourth" and "Twenty-One,
Coming of Age." Buffy didn't break up with Spike in As You
Were, and she has apologized for the Dead Things beating.
**You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown
Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please
You were still in school when you had that fool who really
messed your mind
And after that you turned your back on treating people kind
On our first trip I tried so hard to rearrange your mind
But after awhile I realized you were disarranging mine**
Willy's jukebox played the Rolling Stones. Spike sat in a booth
in the corner, nursing a beer.
**Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please**
Sing it Mick. He sighed and took another drink.
"Sad," said a deep rumbling voice.
Spike looked up to find a Fyarl looking down at him
sympathetically.
Oh God, I've invented a whole new level of pathetic, he
thought. I've got a Fyarl feeling sorry for me.
"Move along, mate. Nothing to see."
The horned demon didn't take the hint, though. They seldom
did. Subtlety was generally lost on Fyarl. Far from moving
along, it decided to sit down with him.
"Oh suit yourself," Spike grumbled. "Just keep your mucous to
yourself."
"Hurt?" the Fyarl asked.
"Yeah, hurt. Broke up with my bird."
"Bird fly?"
Spike rolled his eyes. Never expect a Fyarl to understand
idiom. "Girlfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend."
"Love bird," the demon said with a nod.
"Yeah. I do."
The Fyarl tilted his head curiously.
"Why don't I just go and apologize and make up? Heh... not
that simple, mate. What's your name, anyway?"
"Gah!" the Fyarl said, thumping his chest.
"Well, Gah, there's nothing I want more. I'd crawl on my belly,
I'd lick her shoes -- I'd do anything. But I can't. I just can't.
She's got to give me a crumb. Just a crumb. I can't go on the
way we were.
"It wasn't all hugs and puppies. It was good, God it was good.
But there was a lot of not good in there too. We were sort of
rough on each other..."
"Love thump!" Gah said enthusiastically.
Spike smiled. Right, he'd forgotten about Fyarl mating ritual.
Talking about how she'd beat him up wasn't going to shock the
Fyarl at all. Maybe, if it didn't look like he could ever patch it
up with Buffy, he should suggest she try dating a Fyarl...
"Yeah, we did some love thump. But that wasn't the real
problem."
Gah waited for him to go on.
Spike sighed and took a drink.
"Some mutual friends of ours were supposed to get married a
few weeks ago. I couldn't go to the wedding -- daytime, you
know. But she went, and a couple of nights later, I ran into her
and she was telling me about it. The groom ran out and left the
bride to tell all the guests what happened. Bleedin' twat didn't
have the balls to call it off himself."
Gah snarled. "Rip apart!"
"Yeah -- I ought to give you his address. You could explain to
him about nuptial obligation -- Fyarl style.
"But that's not the point. We were just sitting on a bench and
she was telling me about it, when here comes the wanker
himself, and another one of her friends.
"Here's the thing. We were just sitting there talking, and all the
sudden, she can't stand to have them see that she'd even talk to
me. She tells them she was questioning me to see if I had any
contraband. Contraband? I ask you, would it have been so
awful for her to say 'I was telling him about the wedding?' "
The Fyarl frowned and made a rumbling noise in his throat.
"But even then, it would of been OK. I knew she didn't want
people to know about us. Hell, I agreed to keep it a secret. I
wasn't going to go back on my word.
"What I didn't know then was that she'd been stung by a
glarghk guhl kashma'nik. And she passed out about then. I was
worried about her and just wanted to take care of her, but her
two friends were there, and they're not supposed to know about
us, so I've just got to watch them take her away.
"I was all torn up worrying about her, and the wanker comes
back and asks me to help him catch the demon that stung her so
they can make an antidote. Of course I'm going to help, right?"
Gah nodded. "Thump!"
"Yeah, I thumped the thing, that's for sure. Nobody messes
with my girl.
"Red made the antidote, and she even gave it to me to give to
her. She was pretty sick. Had me worried, that's for sure. And I
try to give her the stuff, and she doesn't want it. And she looks
me right in the eye and says, 'You're not part of my life!' "
Spike stopped and stared at his beer -- which was dwindling.
Gah, took the hint and went up to the bar for refills. When he
got back, Spike was ready to talk again.
"Not part of her life! How could she say that? I've done
everything for her. I've given up everything I was. I've tried to
change. But she just looks at me and says 'You're not part of
my life.' What is there left? If I'm not part of her life I'm
nothing. She just wiped me out of existence."
"Crush!"
Spike sighed. "No, I don't want to crush her. I want her to be
happy."
The Fyarl shook his head. "Crush heart!" he said, thumping his
chest.
"Oh, yeah. She crushed my heart. Yeah."
He stared at the table a bit.
"But I could have taken it. She was so sick. She was out of her
head. I would have forgiven her. I'd forgive her anything.
"But the next day, after she was better, she comes to my crypt.
'I just wanted to thank you for your help,' she says. I mean,
she's standing there thanking me like I was just some stranger
who helped out. What did she think I was going to do?
"So I tell her I can't go on this way. She's the most important
thing in my life and she can't see it. And I tell her I'm not going
to stand for her keeping me hidden any more. She's got to let
people know about us, or there isn't going to be any us."
Spike sighed again.
"Real!" Gah said.
"Yeah. I'm real. Got real feelings. She can't keep doing this to
me.
"And she says she wants to tell people, but she isn't ready. And
I tell her to go. She can come back when she's ready to tell her
friends.
"She begged me to give her more time. She wants to keep on
like we've been doing. But I said no. Told her she could have
all the time she wanted, but there was going to be no lovin'
until she was ready to go public."
"Strong!" the Fyarl said, thumping the table.
"Yeah, I've been weak. Anything it takes to keep her coming to
me. Done anything she wanted. But I gotta be strong now. She
can't just use me that way."
Gah nodded.
"Thing is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold out. I
want her back so bad. What if she decides she can get along
without me? What if she never comes back?
"It was crap being her dirty secret. But I almost think I'd rather
have her back that way than go on without..."
Gah reached over and patted him on the shoulder.
"Strong," he said, in as gentle a tone as a Fyarl could produce.
"Thanks, mate. You're OK. But I've got to get out of here.
Gotta find something to do to get my mind off my troubles."
"Crush! Rip! Tear!" Gah said enthusiastically.
"Yeah, that'd be good. You ever patrolled? I know a cemetery
that's always lousy with vampires. Want to come along?"
"Thump!"
They got up to leave, just at the jukebox started playing 19th
Nervous Breakdown again. Spike paused to listen.
**You were still in school when you had that fool who really
messed your mind
And after that you turned your back on treating people kind
On our first trip I tried so hard to rearrange your mind
But after awhile I realized you were disarranging mine
You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown
Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please**
"Sing it, Mick," he said.
By ElsaF
Disclaimer: 19th Nervous Breakdown is copyrighted to Mick
Jagger and Keith Richards, 1965. All characters here belong to
Mutany Enemy/Joss Whedon.
Summary: I never meant "The Twenty-Fourth" to be kicking
off a series, but I find that it did whether I planned it or not.
This is a sequel to "The Twenty-Fourth" and "Twenty-One,
Coming of Age." Buffy didn't break up with Spike in As You
Were, and she has apologized for the Dead Things beating.
**You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown
Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please
You were still in school when you had that fool who really
messed your mind
And after that you turned your back on treating people kind
On our first trip I tried so hard to rearrange your mind
But after awhile I realized you were disarranging mine**
Willy's jukebox played the Rolling Stones. Spike sat in a booth
in the corner, nursing a beer.
**Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please**
Sing it Mick. He sighed and took another drink.
"Sad," said a deep rumbling voice.
Spike looked up to find a Fyarl looking down at him
sympathetically.
Oh God, I've invented a whole new level of pathetic, he
thought. I've got a Fyarl feeling sorry for me.
"Move along, mate. Nothing to see."
The horned demon didn't take the hint, though. They seldom
did. Subtlety was generally lost on Fyarl. Far from moving
along, it decided to sit down with him.
"Oh suit yourself," Spike grumbled. "Just keep your mucous to
yourself."
"Hurt?" the Fyarl asked.
"Yeah, hurt. Broke up with my bird."
"Bird fly?"
Spike rolled his eyes. Never expect a Fyarl to understand
idiom. "Girlfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend."
"Love bird," the demon said with a nod.
"Yeah. I do."
The Fyarl tilted his head curiously.
"Why don't I just go and apologize and make up? Heh... not
that simple, mate. What's your name, anyway?"
"Gah!" the Fyarl said, thumping his chest.
"Well, Gah, there's nothing I want more. I'd crawl on my belly,
I'd lick her shoes -- I'd do anything. But I can't. I just can't.
She's got to give me a crumb. Just a crumb. I can't go on the
way we were.
"It wasn't all hugs and puppies. It was good, God it was good.
But there was a lot of not good in there too. We were sort of
rough on each other..."
"Love thump!" Gah said enthusiastically.
Spike smiled. Right, he'd forgotten about Fyarl mating ritual.
Talking about how she'd beat him up wasn't going to shock the
Fyarl at all. Maybe, if it didn't look like he could ever patch it
up with Buffy, he should suggest she try dating a Fyarl...
"Yeah, we did some love thump. But that wasn't the real
problem."
Gah waited for him to go on.
Spike sighed and took a drink.
"Some mutual friends of ours were supposed to get married a
few weeks ago. I couldn't go to the wedding -- daytime, you
know. But she went, and a couple of nights later, I ran into her
and she was telling me about it. The groom ran out and left the
bride to tell all the guests what happened. Bleedin' twat didn't
have the balls to call it off himself."
Gah snarled. "Rip apart!"
"Yeah -- I ought to give you his address. You could explain to
him about nuptial obligation -- Fyarl style.
"But that's not the point. We were just sitting on a bench and
she was telling me about it, when here comes the wanker
himself, and another one of her friends.
"Here's the thing. We were just sitting there talking, and all the
sudden, she can't stand to have them see that she'd even talk to
me. She tells them she was questioning me to see if I had any
contraband. Contraband? I ask you, would it have been so
awful for her to say 'I was telling him about the wedding?' "
The Fyarl frowned and made a rumbling noise in his throat.
"But even then, it would of been OK. I knew she didn't want
people to know about us. Hell, I agreed to keep it a secret. I
wasn't going to go back on my word.
"What I didn't know then was that she'd been stung by a
glarghk guhl kashma'nik. And she passed out about then. I was
worried about her and just wanted to take care of her, but her
two friends were there, and they're not supposed to know about
us, so I've just got to watch them take her away.
"I was all torn up worrying about her, and the wanker comes
back and asks me to help him catch the demon that stung her so
they can make an antidote. Of course I'm going to help, right?"
Gah nodded. "Thump!"
"Yeah, I thumped the thing, that's for sure. Nobody messes
with my girl.
"Red made the antidote, and she even gave it to me to give to
her. She was pretty sick. Had me worried, that's for sure. And I
try to give her the stuff, and she doesn't want it. And she looks
me right in the eye and says, 'You're not part of my life!' "
Spike stopped and stared at his beer -- which was dwindling.
Gah, took the hint and went up to the bar for refills. When he
got back, Spike was ready to talk again.
"Not part of her life! How could she say that? I've done
everything for her. I've given up everything I was. I've tried to
change. But she just looks at me and says 'You're not part of
my life.' What is there left? If I'm not part of her life I'm
nothing. She just wiped me out of existence."
"Crush!"
Spike sighed. "No, I don't want to crush her. I want her to be
happy."
The Fyarl shook his head. "Crush heart!" he said, thumping his
chest.
"Oh, yeah. She crushed my heart. Yeah."
He stared at the table a bit.
"But I could have taken it. She was so sick. She was out of her
head. I would have forgiven her. I'd forgive her anything.
"But the next day, after she was better, she comes to my crypt.
'I just wanted to thank you for your help,' she says. I mean,
she's standing there thanking me like I was just some stranger
who helped out. What did she think I was going to do?
"So I tell her I can't go on this way. She's the most important
thing in my life and she can't see it. And I tell her I'm not going
to stand for her keeping me hidden any more. She's got to let
people know about us, or there isn't going to be any us."
Spike sighed again.
"Real!" Gah said.
"Yeah. I'm real. Got real feelings. She can't keep doing this to
me.
"And she says she wants to tell people, but she isn't ready. And
I tell her to go. She can come back when she's ready to tell her
friends.
"She begged me to give her more time. She wants to keep on
like we've been doing. But I said no. Told her she could have
all the time she wanted, but there was going to be no lovin'
until she was ready to go public."
"Strong!" the Fyarl said, thumping the table.
"Yeah, I've been weak. Anything it takes to keep her coming to
me. Done anything she wanted. But I gotta be strong now. She
can't just use me that way."
Gah nodded.
"Thing is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold out. I
want her back so bad. What if she decides she can get along
without me? What if she never comes back?
"It was crap being her dirty secret. But I almost think I'd rather
have her back that way than go on without..."
Gah reached over and patted him on the shoulder.
"Strong," he said, in as gentle a tone as a Fyarl could produce.
"Thanks, mate. You're OK. But I've got to get out of here.
Gotta find something to do to get my mind off my troubles."
"Crush! Rip! Tear!" Gah said enthusiastically.
"Yeah, that'd be good. You ever patrolled? I know a cemetery
that's always lousy with vampires. Want to come along?"
"Thump!"
They got up to leave, just at the jukebox started playing 19th
Nervous Breakdown again. Spike paused to listen.
**You were still in school when you had that fool who really
messed your mind
And after that you turned your back on treating people kind
On our first trip I tried so hard to rearrange your mind
But after awhile I realized you were disarranging mine
You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown
Oh, who's too blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make matters worse. Oh, please**
"Sing it, Mick," he said.