Countdown: Sweet Sixteen
By ElsaF
Rating: G
Spoilers: Through the end of S6. This is still pre-S7, though.
Summary: It's Dawn's Sixteenth Birthday

"Happy Birthday, Dawn," Xander said, handing her a brightly
wrapped package. "Hope you like it!"

"Thanks," the teenager said with a happy smile.

She led him inside to the living room, where Buffy and Anya
were already seated. Xander chose the chair farthest from
Anya and sat down.

"Everybody's here. Why don't you start opening your
presents?" Buffy suggested.

"Sure!"

Dawn started with the box from her sister. She tore off the
roses and ribbons wrapping paper and found a Gap box inside.

"Oh! I bet this is the argyle-pattern sweater I saw when we
were at the mall last week!" she said with a giggle.

"Got it in one!" Buffy replied with a smile.

"Thanks. I love it. And if it wasn't 90 degrees out today, I'd go
put it on right now!"

"That's OK. You can wear it after school starts in the fall."

She picked up Xander's present next. The clowns and balloons
wrapping paper fell in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Oh! This is so nice. A jewelry box -- for all that jewelry I had
to give back."

"I'm sure you'll get some more -- the legal way -- sooner or
later, Dawn," Xander replied. "Happy birthday."

"Did you make this?" She ran her hands over sunrise motif
carved into the lid, and opened it up to find the interior
divided into little red velvet-lined compartments -- some small
for earrings, others larger for necklaces and bracelets.

Xander nodded.

"I love the carving on the lid. It's so pretty. And look at all the
dividers inside. It's really nice. Thanks!"

Anya's present was last. It was a little box. Dawn picked it up
and shook it.

"I bet this is something to go in my new jewelry box."

Anya grinned.

Dawn peeled off the gold foil wrapping paper and opened the
little white box inside.

"Oh! These are beautiful!"

There was a pair of pearl teardrop earrings nestled on white
cotton inside.

"They're not new," Anya said, sounding a little bit
embarrassed. "I'm afraid I've had to economize a bit since I
don't have any money coming in from the shop anymore."

"That's OK," Dawn said with a little smile. "It's the thought
that counts."

"Is it? Really?"

"Shall we have some cake?" Buffy said brightly.

"Yeah! Cake!" Dawn chirped.

Buffy brought out the triple-layer chocolate fudge cake with
16 candles arranged in a circle on top.

"OK, light 'er up!" she said as she set it on the coffee table.
"Who's got a match?"

Xander patted his pockets. "Sorry..."

"Well, I certainly don't smoke," Anya said self-righteously.
"Cigarettes are expensive and unhealthy."

"It's OK," Buffy replied. "I have some matches in the
kitchen."

When she returned, the determined cheerfulness of the party
had stalled, and seemed to be about to auger in for a crash and
burn. Xander and Anya were trying to ignore one another, and
Dawn stared glumly at the decidedly not burning candles.

"Hey, smiles all around!" Buffy said brightly. "This is a
birthday party, not a funeral."

"Yeah, had enough of those," Dawn said, blinking back tears.

"Oh, sorry honey. Bad choice of words. Come on. Let's try to
cheer up. You only turn sixteen once."

Dawn nodded and swallowed hard.

Buffy lit the candles. "OK, all together: Happy birthday to
you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Dawnie.
Happy birthday to you."

Three voices do not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir make, but
Buffy, Xander and Anya tried anyway. The result was loud, if
not harmonious.

"Blow out the candles!" Buffy said brightly.

Dawn took a deep breath and blew, extinguishing about half
the flames. She stopped and looked sad.

"No matter. You get a second chance because -- because I say
so."

Dawn took another breath, but stopped before blowing again.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just can't do this," she said,
getting up and bolting for the stairs, wiping away her tears as
she ran.

"Dawn!" Buffy called after her.

Xander looked at the floor. "I guess we're not doing so well on
the make Dawn happy on her birthday front," he said.

"I really thought it would be better this year. Last year we
were all sad because you were dead," Anya added. "But then,
last year, we had a lot more people to pretend to be cheerful."

"Looks like Dawn's in for the night," Xander said glumly. "I
guess I'll push off."

Buffy nodded, looking up the stairs.

"I'll just wait for Xander to go, so we won't be leaving
together," Anya said. "Then I'll go too."

"Thanks for coming, guys," Buffy said. "I suppose it could
have been worse. It could have been my birthday."

----------------

Buffy knocked on Dawn's bedroom door.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

That was a good sign. She'd pretty much expected to be told to
go away.

Dawn was lying on her stomach on her bed. The teenager
slipped something under her pillow as Buffy came in.

"Want to talk about it? Brought you some cake. You know
what Mom used to say: 'Nothing kills the blues like triple-
layer fudge cake.'"

Dawn attempted a smile, but it never spread beyond the
corners of her mouth. "Not much to say. Sorry I messed up the
party."

"That's OK. I think it was pretty messed up to start with when
the only two people I could think of to invite aren't speaking
to each other. Too bad Janice and her family are off to Grand
Canyon. At least you would have had someone to talk to."

Dawn sat up and took the dessert plate from her sister.

"It's so sad to look around and see all the people who aren't
here," Dawn said around a fork full of cake. "Well, you know
what I mean. I miss Tara. She was so funny last year. She kept
teasing Willow about the cake -- which wasn't near this good
by the way. This is Mom's recipe, isn't it?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, Duncan Hines cake mix and two tubs of
Betty Crocker frosting. Not so sophisticated, but it gets the job
done."

"And Giles was here. And he and Willow played this joke on
Xander and Anya." Dawn stopped and looked sad again.

"And now I don't even know if I want Willow to come back."

"I know, honey. I don't know either. We'll just have to deal
with that when the time comes."

"And Giles got in an argument with..." She didn't finish.

"He who cannot be named?" Buffy offered with an ironic
smile. "The elephant who is not in the room?"

Dawn nodded.

"How about this," Buffy said. "I'll break the rule. I'll say it.
Spike."

"Why'd he do it, Buffy?" Dawn whispered.

Buffy shook her head. "If I only knew that, Dawnie..." She
stopped and sighed. "No, that's a lie. I know," she said quietly,
looking at her hands folded in her lap.

"You know how sometimes when someone wants to talk to
you and you don't want to listen to them, they just keep
talking louder? Well, Spike had been trying to get me to listen
for a while, and I wouldn't, and finally ..."

"Oh, Buffy. That is so bogus. You can't blame yourself. That
isn't the way people talk to each other."

"No, it's not the way regular people talk to each other. But I
wasn't acting like regular people last spring. And Spike -- well
he hasn't been a regular person for more than a century."

"You can't blame yourself," Dawn said firmly.

"I don't. Not really. There's no excuse for what he did. But,
even so, I don't think it would have happened if I'd treated him
better. People tend to live up to what you expect of them,
honey. And I'd been letting Spike know I didn't expect
anything good from him." She brushed a strand of hair away
from Dawn's face.

"But you were right to think he couldn't do anything good. I
thought he really cared about us. I thought he cared about me.
But all he wanted was ..."

"That's not true. I really believe he cared about you, Dawnie.
And I don't think it was because he wanted to sleep with me.
You were always special for him."

"Then why'd he run away?"

"I think you underestimate how intimidating it is for a
vampire to face a cheesed-off Slayer," Buffy said with an
ironic smile.

"Spike's never been afraid of Slayers! He wouldn't run away
because he was afraid."

"But he might because he was ashamed," Buffy said softly.

"If he ever comes back I'll kill him," Dawn said bitterly. "I
hope he never shows his face here again."

"Honey... Don't say that. You're disappointed, I know. But
you're going to feel so much better when you let go and
forgive."

"How can I? How can you?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know if I can or if I do. Not yet. I just
wish he was here, so I could find out. I wonder what became
of him. Is he still alive? Did something happen to him? Will
he ever come back?"

"He'd better not," Dawn said with a frown.

Buffy smiled. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,
OK?"

Dawn nodded. "I'd better take this plate down to the kitchen
before it grows fur," she said. She took the now-empty cake
plate and headed for the stairs.

Buffy waited until she was out of sight, then reached under the
pillow.

What she found there was a well-worn piece of sketch paper,
folded in half to approximate a greeting card. On the front was
a sketch that was easily recognizable as Dawn. Buffy smiled.
She'd forgotten that he could draw. The only evidence she'd
ever seen was the sketches of herself he'd had pinned up on
the shrine in his lower crypt. They disappeared after that one
time she'd been down there when Drusilla was in town.

She opened up the card. Inside was written: "Happy 15th
Nibblet. -- Spike"

She slipped it back under the pillow and went downstairs to
help with the dishes.