Countdown: Twelve Angry Demons
By ElsaF
Spoilers: Through Season 6
Summary: The trials Spike endured were just a diversion, the
outcome of his quest was determined elsewhere.



"All stand for the Hon. Lurkamaenisis."

"Gentledemons, we are convened to consider the fate of one
William the Bloody, vampire, also known as Spike. The
evidence has been presented. You have seen the deeds of this
creature. You have heard his petition. This vampire asks for the
return of his soul. He has agreed to the trials. It is now your
charge to deliberate upon what you have seen. Think carefully.
Your verdict is binding. A vote of "yay" means you believe the
creature worthy of a soul. A vote of "nay" means this creature's
existence shall be ended -- as he has agreed that he shall
succeed or cease to be. As always, the verdict must be
unanimous.

"How vote you?"

"I, Cran of the Fornoth, say nay."

"I, Kort Dreff, say nay."

"I, Be'nagellor, say nay."

"I, Kah, say nay."

"I, Manor of Gren, say nay."

"I, Fif'gem Seel, say nay."

"I, Norm, say nay."

"I, Arryk, say nay."

"I, Tregol Nerm, say nay."

"I, Beth of the Greater Rank, say nay."

"I, Raff, say nay."

"I, Lenny, say yay."

"Eleven nay, one yay. We have no verdict. Gentledemons, I
charge you to reconsider. You will stay here until we have a
verdict."

"All right. Let's get this over with. Lenny, why? Why do you
always do this? This is a vampire -- and not just any vampire, a
particularly brutal vampire. You saw the stuff with the railroad
spikes, didn't you? You saw the victim list. He's done two
Slayers. You've seen him kill for fun. What possible
justification could you have for voting to return his soul?"

"I dunno. He's sort of cute."

Eleven faces turn to the twelfth.

"Cute?"

"Yeah."

"How did you get on this jury?"

"They had a sign up sheet."

"Change your vote. Let's get this over with."

"Nope."

"This is going to be a long day."

"Let's take another vote."

"Your honor, could I make a request?"

"What, Lenny?"

"A secret ballot?"

"Why?"

"In case anybody's embarrassed to be voting against the
majority."

"Oh all right. Bring out the black and white marbles. And let's
get this over with."

"The second ballot is eleven nay, one yay. I'm sure we're all
mystified by who would have voted yay."

"I say we eat Lenny and make it unanimous again."

"I'm sorry Arryk, I can't let you do that. We're in an amnesty
zone here. No violence against your fellow jurors."

"Your honor, can I say something."

"Obviously."

"Well, I just want to say, it's not just that he's cute. It's sort of
neat that he asked for a soul. I just thought someone should
recognize that."

"Lenny has a point. Can anybody remember the last time a
vampire asked for a soul?"

"Thanks, Beth."

"You're welcome, Lenny."

"If I'm not mistaken, the last vampire to ask for a soul was
Carlos the Mad in the year 1657 by the human date reckoning.
He was insane. After he got his soul he went on a rampage and
killed another fifty or sixty people before the humans brought
him down."

"Well, that was a bad example. I think you're prejudiced
against vampires, Be'nagellor."

"And you're not prejudiced in favor?"

"The fact that I am a vampire is neither here nor there. To tell
the truth, most of us would be repelled by William's desire for
a soul. Souls, vampires -- not mixy things."

"There you have it -- a good reason not to grant his request."

"I don't think so."

"Please..."

"Have we considered why he wants a soul?"

"It would seem he wants it to gain the favor of a woman."

"Not just a woman. The Slayer."

"That's perverted. A vampire in love with the Slayer?"

"I think it's sort of sweet."

"You would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Pansy!"

"Tight ass!"

"Gentledemons! Please. The discussion will be restricted to the
petition before us."

"My apologies, Your Honor."

"Take another vote."

"The third vote shall be counted as ten nay, two yay."

"May I speak in the petitioner's behalf?"

"Speak, Beth of the Greater Rank."

"I would direct the jury's attention to the petitioner's conduct
over the past three years. With only minor exceptions, his
behavior has been exemplary."

"I guess if you ignore his alliance with the artificial demon, his
feeding on the victim of his former paramour and his attempt to
attack a woman when he thought he was no longer bound."

"I see few souled beings who have not sinned."

"No, but these were particularly egregious actions."

"The petitioner seems to have made an honest effort to change
his nature."

"And why should we be impressed by that. Vampires have
vampire nature for a reason. They have a role to fulfill in the
universe. Why should we pander to this individual's desire to
avoid that role?"

"Because we are individuals and there is more to us than our
preordained role."

"If we allow beings on the mortal plane to avoid their
preordained fates, we have chaos. It cannot be allowed."

"If we do not allow beings to exercise free will, then the mortal
plane becomes nothing but theater of automatons."

"Anarchy cannot be tolerated."

"Tyranny cannot be allowed."

"Take another vote."

"The fourth vote shall be counted as eight nay, four yay."

"I hope you're happy, Lenny. This is going to take forever."

"We've got all the time in the world -- literally."

"This individual. Is there any reason to believe he will not
repeat the actions of Carlos the Mad?"

"I think it's a definite possibility. He's not the most stable of
creatures. He's a bit volatile. I wonder if he'll have the
emotional strength to hold up under the burden a soul places on
a vampire?"

"If he doesn't, will it be worse than when he was an
unrestricted vampire? There can't be much to lose."

"I believe this vampire has an unusual record of empathy. I
think he may be uniquely equipped to deal with the burden of a
soul."

"No vampire is equipped to deal with the burden of a soul.
That's why they don't come with souls."

"Yes, but look at this one's history. He cared for the insane
female for more than a century. His affection toward her was
unmistakable. And since he came under the influence of the
Slayer, he has been steadfast in protecting her interests and her
circle of friends and family."

"With the exception..."

"Yes, there was that. But I believe he was strongly provoked..."

"There is no excuse..."

"We have to balance that one incident against two years of
good behavior."

"No amount of good behavior can make up for this sort of
assault -- particularly since it was perpetrated against the
Slayer herself. Apparently the creature's determination to serve
the Slayer's interests did not limit his baser impulses."

"I believe that is why he is asking for a soul."

"And that is why we need not grant it. It is not a worthy
request. It does not grow out of a righteous desire to serve the
cause of good."

"If we only grant souls to those who don't need them, what's
the point?"

"If we give a soul to anyone who asks, we debase our most
precious gift."

"Tight ass!"

"Libertine!"

"Puritan!"

"Anarchist!"

"Gentledemons! Please set aside your personal emnity!"

"My apologies, Lurkamaenisis."

"Mine as well."

"Take another vote."

"The fifth vote shall be recorded as being five nay, seven yay."

"All right! We're getting somewhere."

"Lenny, I must ask you to restrain yourself."

"Sorry."

"I wish to speak against the petitioner."

"Speak, Kort Dreff."

"I direct the jury's attention to the petitioner's actions after the
death of the human known as Joyce Summers.

"At that time, William the Bloody attempted to frustrate the
natural order and assisted one of the subject's offspring in an
attempt to raise the dead.

"This action is both blasphemous and an abomination.
Furthermore, he made a temporary alliance with the being
known as Doc to that end."

"I don't know. It was misguided, but was it an evil thing to
do?"

"To try to circumvent the natural death of a mortal being
cannot be tolerated."

"It didn't come to anything."

"It was an attempt to commit a grave sin."

"It was done out of compassion for the dead woman's
children."

"Vampires don't feel compassion."

"This one apparently does. It's been demonstrated on numerous
occasions."

"Impossible."

"How do you explain his liaison with the vengeance demon?"

"A mere sexual conquest."

"Hardly. It was compassion."

"What about his defiance of the goddess Glorificus?"

"Hardly compassion."

"It was loyalty to the Slayer and her sister."

"Vampires don't feel loyalty."

"I'm beginning to think you just don't like vampires."

"I don't like you, Lenny."

"Fine. I don't like you either."

"Lenny, Dreff -- knock it off."

"Take another vote."

"The sixth vote shall be recorded as two nay, ten yay."

"I wish to speak on behalf of the petitioner."

"You've said enough, Lenny."

"Aw, come on."

"Oh, all right."

"We've gone from eleven to one, to two to ten. Why don't you
two hard-asses give up so we can go home?"

"Compelling... Anyone else want to speak?"

"I'd like to speak."

"Speak Fif'gem Seel."

"The vampire was once a poet. We should return his soul to
give the world back his muse."

"Did you read any of his poetry?"

"No..."

"I think you just made a point for the opposition."

"Oh..."

"I wish to speak."

"Speak Tregol Nerm."

"The petitioner has demonstrated unfaltering determination. He
is steadfast. Surely this should be rewarded."

"Determination is not desirable if it is not in service to a
worthy cause. It is only recently that William has accepted a
worthy cause -- and even then it was only because of his
attraction to the Slayer. Without her, he is does not dedicate
himself to any cause but his own."

"When the Slayer was dead, he continued his dedication to
protect her sister and her friends."

"Take another vote."

"The seventh vote shall be recorded as one nay, and eleven
yay."

"OK, Kort Dreff -- what does it take to change your vote?"

"I am unshakeable. I will never change my vote."

"We're going to be here a long time."

"Why? Why do you oppose the vampire's petition so strongly?"

"There must be order in the universe. Vampires are not meant
to serve good."

"What is the point of having good and evil if each being cannot
chose which to serve?"

"What if everyone decided to be good? What would there be to
contend against? The universe would grind to a halt! It is the
battle between good and evil that provides the impetus that
keeps the universe operating!"

"Is that all? You're worried about there being too many good
beings in the universe?"

"Yes."

"How about this? I'll promise to stay evil. No soul for this
puppy. Nope. Soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to much
on some more tasty people! Feeling a bit peckish, to tell the
truth. I'd like to get back to it soon as possible."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"OK."

"Take another vote."

"The eighth vote shall be recorded as twelve yay."

"Thank goodness. Nice meeting you guys. I'll just be off then."

The twelve demons fade from sight, leaving only
Lurkamaenisis, standing over the battered body of an
exhausted vampire.

"You have endured the required trials."

"Bloody right I have," the vampire croaks.

"So, give me what I want. Make me what I was... so Buffy can
get what she deserves."

"Very well. Your soul is returned to you."