Countdown: Triangle
By ElsaF

Spoilers: We're in the 24-verse from here on out. This AU split
off after Dead Things.

Summary: Previously in the 24-verse: Buffy and Spike didn't
break up at the end of As You Were, but Buffy's unwillingness
to acknowledge Spike publicly meant they broke up soon
afterward. Spike decided to change himself into someone she
would be willing to be seen with. Meanwhile, the Scoobies
raided the Nerds, and Warren escaped and came back to shoot
Buffy and Xander. Xander would have died, but Willow
intervened with Osiris to prevent him from crossing over. The
price for saving Xander's life was Willow's soul. Soulless
Willow killed Warren horribly. Spike, meanwhile, won his soul
by protecting strangers, inspiring someone else to courage and
overcoming his self-doubt.



Tara was washing the dinner dishes when the knock came on
the door. She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and went to
answer the door.

"Willow!" she said in surprise.

Willow stood at the top of the stairs looking as dejected as Tara
had ever seen her friend and lover.

"Can I come in?" she said in a tiny voice.

"Yes! Of course. Please."

"You're not afraid of me?"

Tara shook her head.

"Thank you."

"Can I get you some herb tea? You look like you could use
some chamomile."

"You know what happened, don't you?"

Tara nodded.

"I've done something horrible," Willow said, wiping a tear
away.

Tara sat down beside her. "But you know it was wrong, and
that's good. Things are different now. You're going to have to
learn how to control yourself all over again."

"What can I do now? I've killed someone. You don't just
apologize and go on. I didn't mean to..."

"I know. It's going to be hard for you, honey. But there's
nothing you can't come back from. Nothing. Remember that.
The Goddess always forgives."

"The Goddess... What about you, Tara?"

"I don't know... in time. Who am I kidding? I don't care what
you've done. I'll always love you."

"Then everything will be OK?" Willow asked, her eyes shining
with tears. "It's not like I'll go to prison or anything. I've been
watching the news and they haven't even reported Warren's
death. I don't think the police believe anything happened."

"No, the police aren't looking for you. Buffy said they didn't
believe her when she told them what happened. Warren didn't
have any family here. The police think he left town to escape
the robbery charges."

Willow nodded. "Then it will be all right."

Tara gave her a long look. "Not getting caught doesn't make it
all right," she said carefully.

"I know. I know it was wrong. But I can do so much more to
make amends if I'm not running from the police, right?"

Tara pulled away slightly. "What are you going to do to make
amends?" she asked.

"I don't know. Tell me what to do. Anything. I'll do anything
you say."

"It's not up to me."

"But I'm lost, Tara. You have to help me."

Tara frowned and stood up, stepping away from Willow.

"You're not worried about how wrong what you did was.
You're worried that *I* think it was wrong."

Willow looked up at her uncomprehending.

"This doesn't have anything to do with your soul, Willow.
You've always been this way."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't stand to have anybody think you're less than perfect.
That's why you did what you did to me. You couldn't stand to
have me upset with you."

"Tara, sweetie," Willow said, desperation creeping into her
voice. "I know what I did to you was wrong. I gave up
magic..."

"And you started using it again."

"I didn't have any choice. I would have died when Osiris took
my soul! Isn't it better that I'm still alive and able to do good
things?"

"And bad things."

"It was a mistake. Just a mistake. I've learned something. I
have to think about what I'm doing. Knowing right from wrong
isn't automatic anymore. I'm going to get a handle on this. I
won't ever do anything like that again!"

"You knew right from wrong when you used the memory spell
on me."

"That's all in the past! I thought we'd got past that."

"I forgave you, Willow. But then, almost right away, you went
back to using magic."

"I told you. I had to. Would you rather I was dead?"

"No! That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about
calling on Osiris to save Xander!"

"But I saved his life! Surely that was a good thing." Willow's
voice rose defensively.

"Oh, Willow, can't you see it?" A tear spilled down Tara's
cheek.

"You're jealous. You're jealous because Xander's life was
important enough to me that I broke my promise to you not to
use magic," Willow said with a frown.

"But you have to understand. I love Xander, but it doesn't have
anything to do with you and me. We grew up together. He's
like my brother."

Tara shook her head. The stutter that had robbed her of the
ability to express herself so long was back. She knew that if
she tried to speak now, she would have to force the words
through unwilling lips.

"It's not j-j-jealousy!" said forced herself to say. "Oh, Willow,
c-c-c-can't you understand? I love you. And the fact that you
w-w-would sacrifice yourself for a f-f-friend -- it's why I
l-l-love you so much."

"You're upset. You only stutter when you're upset or afraid,"
Willow said. "You're afraid of me."

Tara shook her head violently. "Upset n-n-not-t afraid."

Tara sat back down and took Willow's hand. "I know y-y-you
mean w-well."

Willow reached over with her free hand and touched Tara's
lips. "Let the words flow free," she said softly.

Tara's eyes opened wide in surprise. "What did you do?" she
asked in alarm.

"I fixed your stutter," Willow said with a bright smile.

"You can't do that!" Tara said vehemently. She stood up again
and moved away.

"What do you mean? It was only making it harder for you to
talk. I just wanted to make it easier for you!"

"You didn't ask me whether I wanted it to be easier! You just
changed me without even warning me!"

"I can put it back if you don't like it," Willow said with a
frown.

"No! Don't *ever* change me. Never. Not my memories, not
my voice or my speech. Not my hairstyle. You don't have my
permission to remake me for your pleasure!"

"It wasn't for me..."

"Yes, it was. My stutter was making you uncomfortable. So
you took it away."

"I'm sorry."

"It's always going to be this way," Tara said sadly. "A triangle
-- you, me and your power."

"Please, Tara. Give me another chance. Everything feels
different now. I need time to get the feel of things."

"Willow, this isn't because you gave up your soul. It's because
you started using your power again. Once you do that, you lose
your perspective. It's something that hasn't changed about you.
It's just stronger now."

"I'll get control of myself. I promise. I'll never change anything
about you Tara ever again! I love you. Can't you believe that?"

"I believe it. I've always believed it. But I don't believe you can
control your power. Not without your soul to help you."

"I can do it with you to help me," Willow said. "You tell me
what's right. I'll do whatever you say."

"Then go now." Tara said, closing her eyes. "Go and find Buffy
and tell her you're willing to do whatever she says."

"Buffy? What does she have to do with it?"

"You have to submit, Willow. You have to accept that there is
power greater than your own."

"I said I'd do whatever you say, not Buffy," Willow said with a
frown.

"Oh Willow, don't you see? You'll submit to me because you
know you can always control me!"

"No! How can you say that? You know I love you!"

"It isn't about love. It's about power. You crave it. You can't
give it up."

"Tara," Willow said softly. "Trust me. I'll never harm you.
That's absolute. Never!" She got up and approached her lover.

"I wish I could," Tara sobbed.

"You can," Willow said, reaching out to embrace the other
woman.

Tara tried to raise her hand to push Willow away, but found
she couldn't move it.

"Willow! What are you doing? Stop it! Now!"

"Shhhh!" Willow said.

"No, please. Don't do this," Tara whispered.

"How can you think I'd hurt you?"

Tara closed her eyes and concentrated. Her own magic was
weak compared to Willow's, but Willow wasn't putting her full
strength behind the binding spell. She concentrated on the word
that would send her own power out to cast off Willow's spell.
The spell snapped like a rubber band stretched beyond its limit.

Tara brought both hands up and shoved Willow away with all
her physical strength.

"Get out," Tara said angrily.

"Tara..."

"Ask me again whether I trust you!" Tara spat.

"God... no... I didn't mean..."

"Get out!"

------------------

The apartment door was standing open. Buffy found Tara
sitting on her sofa weeping.

"What happened?" Buffy asked. "Are you OK?"

Tara nodded.

"Willow was here, wasn't she?"

Tara nodded again.

Buffy stood looking at her friend, at a loss for what to say.

"I'm sorry. I take it she wasn't willing to be resouled?"

"We never got around to talking about that," Tara said. "Oh,
Buffy, I think I've made it worse. We were talking and she was
being reasonable -- like Willow. Then it just went to pieces."

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

"I'm sure you didn't make it worse," Buffy said gently. "Dawn
thought the same thing, you know. But all this is coming from
Willow -- not you, not Dawn. It's not Xander's fault for needing
her help to survive. It's not my fault for asking her to check on
Xander at the hospital.

"She's making her own choices. In the end, she's going to have
to answer for them."

Tara looked up at Buffy, her soft, gray eyes filled with sorrow.
"We're going to have to destroy her, aren't we?" she whispered.

Buffy looked away. "I hope not. God how I hope not. There's
still a chance she'll see reason. Willow's a very smart person,
like you said. She thinks things through. Surely she's got to see
she can't go on this way."

"I don't want her hurt. But if there's anything I can do to
help..."

"That's why I came. Giles is here. He's researching it as we
speak. He's going to find a way."

"Giles? So quick? How did he get here so fast?"

"I called him last night. Woke him up at 3 a.m. his time," Buffy
said with a little smile. "He understood the urgency of the
situation, to put it in his words. He said he's been working with
a coven in Devon, and they've felt something rising here. They
consider a witch as powerful as Willow without a soul to be as
serious a threat as they can imagine. So they did a teleportation
spell and sent him here to help us. Pretty cool, eh? Halfway
around the world and no jet lag."

----------------

The angel was back. Spike knelt in front of him and waited.
The myriad wounds on his face, chest, arms and back ached
and stung. He was tired to the bone. But the challenge was
finished. He had succeeded. It was time to accept his reward.

"You ask for a soul," the angel said.

"Yeah. Let's get on with it. Don't have all night. Got to get
these ladies back to civilization where they can get some help."

The angel cocked his head to the side, looking amused.

"You don't have time for that. The sun will be up in less than
an hour."

Spike frowned and looked up. "What? Then what's the bloody
point? I went through all that to protect them, and the little girl
dies because it took to long? That's not right!"

"If you hadn't protected them they would have died. The older
one may still be able to get her sister to safety."

"Not likely, mate. They need my help!"

"They are not your concern. The challenge is over. You have
succeeded."

"I haven't succeeded if they die."

"Then, I suspect you will still find a way to help them. You're
an odd vampire, William. But it's been an pleasure to know
you."

The angel reached down and touched Spike's chest.

He screamed as a fire hotter than the sun itself burned through
his flesh and the world disappeared around him.