(What happened to me?What happened to the young elf that used to be so happy?Was that even me?Who am *I*?)
Too many thoughts and too fast overwhelmed her in her so called sleep. In truth she hadn't slept at all after it began. She pretended to be rested every morning though she felt drained and exhausted. Everything she said and did became a facade actually. But the mask is beggining to crumble ... and as it slowly shatters and leaves her naked and vulnerable, he gets stronger. He wants her now more than ever. He wants to be whole again for she part of him.
(No. I can't be. I ... it's impossible)
{ Adariel ... come ... come to me ... }
She shut her eyes tighter
{You want to ... you need to }
(NO)
{Come to me, Adariel...}
The sound of the door opening made her suddenly open her eyes. The golden light reaching into the room from the balcony seemed to pull her back to reality. She turned her head to the door and saw Aragorn looking at her with a grave expression.
-What happened last night?
-Wha...,she rubbed her eyes,What do you mean?
-I heard you crying.
-Can I not cry?
-I wish only to know what is wrong.
-What is wrong?WHAT IS WRONG?I am losing my mind Aragorn, that is what is wrong. I am tired and in pain and drained ...and ... hollow,she added almost whispering. I do not even know which are my thoughts and which are his. I do not even know who I am. Or what I am... don't you see?I am suffering Aragorn and ...I wish to end it but I cannot!
(I think only about myself. They must suffer too ... but I ... I'm so confused)
Aragorn did not say or move. He watched her trying to understand what she felt. Trying to figure out how to help.
-I am sorry, Estel. I did not mean to raise my voice so.
-I understand, Adariel. I'm sorry for what is happening but I promise you that I will find a way to stop it.
He layed down on the bed.
-He will never win, he added.
-You say that to comfort me or yourself?
-I say it to bring us both hope.
-What hope do I have left,Aragorn?None.
-You should not give up.
-I am forced to. I cannot fight it anymore.
-Adariel...
-No, Aragorn. I know what I must do or what must be done. I know what sacrifice I must make ... but in truth it would be more of a release
-Do not speak this way. I shall not have you talk of death ... especially yours.I have known you ever since I first came to Imladris. You have been more than any friend could have been and I will not give up on you now when you are in need ... and you shouldn't give up on yourself.
-I do not even know who is "myself".
Silence.She looked at him for a few moments and then got out of her bed and headed towards the dresser.
-I wish to get dressed. I will be in the garden later, she stated in a blank tone.
Aragorn sighed and left the room. He knew there were only two ways of ending this. Either to hand her to him, to Aricael or to ... he shuddered ... kill her.They are one...Adariel and Aricael... each wants to be reunited with the other. What would Elrond hope to do? Tomorrow's council will fail in finding a solution. And then what? Then her fate will depend on the will of the Council. And any man could guess their choice for it was not their intent to doom Middle Earth. Pointless. And what could he and Legolas do either? They could not fight Aricael. And a part of Adariel wishes to return to him. How could they save her when she herself wanted to go to him. And Legolas ... Legolas cares for her. He knew Legolas was to be heartbroken. So many fates, so many lives ... binded together in suffering. He turned his thoughts away from these matters and looked straight ahead. Rivendell's hallways were empty today. But tomorrow...tomorrow they will rush to seal Adariel's fate.
Too many thoughts and too fast overwhelmed her in her so called sleep. In truth she hadn't slept at all after it began. She pretended to be rested every morning though she felt drained and exhausted. Everything she said and did became a facade actually. But the mask is beggining to crumble ... and as it slowly shatters and leaves her naked and vulnerable, he gets stronger. He wants her now more than ever. He wants to be whole again for she part of him.
(No. I can't be. I ... it's impossible)
{ Adariel ... come ... come to me ... }
She shut her eyes tighter
{You want to ... you need to }
(NO)
{Come to me, Adariel...}
The sound of the door opening made her suddenly open her eyes. The golden light reaching into the room from the balcony seemed to pull her back to reality. She turned her head to the door and saw Aragorn looking at her with a grave expression.
-What happened last night?
-Wha...,she rubbed her eyes,What do you mean?
-I heard you crying.
-Can I not cry?
-I wish only to know what is wrong.
-What is wrong?WHAT IS WRONG?I am losing my mind Aragorn, that is what is wrong. I am tired and in pain and drained ...and ... hollow,she added almost whispering. I do not even know which are my thoughts and which are his. I do not even know who I am. Or what I am... don't you see?I am suffering Aragorn and ...I wish to end it but I cannot!
(I think only about myself. They must suffer too ... but I ... I'm so confused)
Aragorn did not say or move. He watched her trying to understand what she felt. Trying to figure out how to help.
-I am sorry, Estel. I did not mean to raise my voice so.
-I understand, Adariel. I'm sorry for what is happening but I promise you that I will find a way to stop it.
He layed down on the bed.
-He will never win, he added.
-You say that to comfort me or yourself?
-I say it to bring us both hope.
-What hope do I have left,Aragorn?None.
-You should not give up.
-I am forced to. I cannot fight it anymore.
-Adariel...
-No, Aragorn. I know what I must do or what must be done. I know what sacrifice I must make ... but in truth it would be more of a release
-Do not speak this way. I shall not have you talk of death ... especially yours.I have known you ever since I first came to Imladris. You have been more than any friend could have been and I will not give up on you now when you are in need ... and you shouldn't give up on yourself.
-I do not even know who is "myself".
Silence.She looked at him for a few moments and then got out of her bed and headed towards the dresser.
-I wish to get dressed. I will be in the garden later, she stated in a blank tone.
Aragorn sighed and left the room. He knew there were only two ways of ending this. Either to hand her to him, to Aricael or to ... he shuddered ... kill her.They are one...Adariel and Aricael... each wants to be reunited with the other. What would Elrond hope to do? Tomorrow's council will fail in finding a solution. And then what? Then her fate will depend on the will of the Council. And any man could guess their choice for it was not their intent to doom Middle Earth. Pointless. And what could he and Legolas do either? They could not fight Aricael. And a part of Adariel wishes to return to him. How could they save her when she herself wanted to go to him. And Legolas ... Legolas cares for her. He knew Legolas was to be heartbroken. So many fates, so many lives ... binded together in suffering. He turned his thoughts away from these matters and looked straight ahead. Rivendell's hallways were empty today. But tomorrow...tomorrow they will rush to seal Adariel's fate.