Sorry it took so long. This was a hard chapter to write.
"Did you notice how she never answered if she loved him or not?" Willow said curling around a bowl of popcorn. Xander came next to her with two sodas. They usually spent afternoons watching movies. They never could have date nights, as they had to patrol every night. Dawn and Oz would take the east side, Willow and Xander would take the west side, and Giles would patrol the streets by car until morning. They were the night safety patrol. The city was so tired of their children dying that they didn't go out anymore at night. God forbid they move from the Hellmouth. It was a force that seemed to hold all those who came near stationary. It was like they knew that they were in a bad place, but they couldn't seem to look away.
"Willow, you're a romantic," Xander said stuffing his mouth with popcorn.
"There was just something about the way she said his name…"
"Will the guy is a vampire."
Willow sighed and put another piece of popcorn in her mouth that is how they all went in, one kernel at a time. Then she looked at him.
"Xan, that doesn't sound like you. You don't usually put labels on people."
Xander's forehead wrinkled, "I know. It's weird. I feel all of these things that aren't really me. When Giles called us yesterday I suddenly woke up and I felt different. I know that I just don't like this Spike-guy. I've got all this bitter taste in my mouth."
Willow wordlessly picked up popcorn and shoved it in his mouth.
"Tanks," Xander said with a full mouth, "I men metta-for-cally."
Xander chewed and Willow looked up at him and stroked his cheek.
"It's because of her isn't it?" Willow said softly, "You loved her and she died, you loved Faith and she died. This is your chance isn't it."
Xander captured her head between his hands, "Willow I have always loved your more than anything and not just in that friend way. When Faith caught us making out I couldn't stand hurting her. She needed me for everything that was coming up. However despite everything I realized senior year that I've never care more about anyone than you. I didn't know how to say it for so long."
Willow looked down hesitantly, "Aww shucks Xander…"
"No," Xander said seriously making her look at him, "You are not going to make this into some kind of joke. I love you. For a million different reasons. You're alive so you get the award? Is that what you think. You're wrong. Buffy was here for six months, Faith for nine, you've been here for a life time. You know me. You've seen me at my dorkiest. You've seen me through it all. Will…"
Xander's voice broke, but he went on.
"You saw me when I was black and blue from his fists and with welts the size of his belt. You know every inch of my life. You've seen the dark side and yet somehow you don't flinch and turn away. You should be disgusted with me, but you treat me everyday like a man that I still haven't become. I have faith in all of this because of you."
Willow looked wide eyed and opened her mouth.
Xander went on, "But no matter the weirdness of the last few days I want you to know that I will always be faithful to you."
Willow opened her mouth again and found that this time it worked, "I love you too Xander."
***
"Giles is this for the best?
Dawn looked worriedly into the eyes of her Watcher.
Giles took off his glasses, "I think so. There really is no alternative. We have lost a round and we need to step up our game."
"So can I at least be let in on where Buffy is going?" Dawn asked rolling her eyes, "I'm the slayer too."
Oz came and sat down beside her, "I think we just don't want to worry you."
Dawn fixed him with a death stare, "Tell me now."
Oz and Giles exchanged a look over her head. Dawn pretended not to notice, but she seethed inside. Oz and Giles had begun to treat her like a child two years ago. At first it was nice, it was good that they were trying to compensate for her sudden weakness. Oz would patrol with her in wolf form. It was good as she gathered her strength, but now she was sick of being treated like a child. She loved Oz and she knew that they were doing everything they could to protect her, but she just wanted to have some freedom. They had seemed to forget that she was actually the slayer. Now that she had seen Buffy take charge so often she remembered that her job was not just to sit back.
"Now, plan now," Dawn growled.
Giles sighed but began to tell her what Buffy was doing. Dawn felt that she did a good job of remaining impassive.
"So is Buffy sure that this guy is William the Bloody?"
Oz nodded, "She saw him a couple of times. She says that he is this guy she remembered."
Dawn nodded, "Well it feels good to know. I am tired now, I think I'll rest."
"Do you want company?" Oz said with a smile.
He took care of her. He was faithful and he never lied, even by omission. He was a wonderful protector, but right now she wasn't thinking about the nice puppy guardian she had been given. She was remembering her Doberman. She didn't think he would understand. If he did then he would consult with Giles and that would just lead to them deciding that she should stay home.
They wouldn't understand.
She went upstairs. She had a rare occasion to do this. Oz insisted on sleeping in her bed. He was soft and comfortable and she fit so well under his chin on his shoulder. He loved her and wanted to protect her from whatever could come into the window. It was great most of the time, because she was scared most of the time.
But now she needed to be alone. She needed to do what she couldn't usually do. During the day time they let her alone. She opened the window and thought about how weird it was that she was sneaking out in daylight.
She had become a virtual prisoner.
She needed to get better. Buffy may know how to get it done, but a little leverage never hurt.
***
Buffy walked around the wooden table. The room was empty.
She casually sat down and propped her legs up on the table. She picked up the pieces of paper that lay on the table.
She began to read the sheets.
***
Dru came up behind Spike and began to massage his shoulders.
"So the little burr is beginning to chafe? Silly girl. I'm the princess."
Spike looked up at her and smiled, "Of course you are luv."
Drusilla giggled as he pulled her around to her lap. He began to kiss her thoroughly. Drusilla sighed under his touch. She dreamily pulled away.
When she looked at him again her eyes went from dazed to cold.
"Do you still love Princess?" she demanded.
"Dru I love every non living cell in your body."
Dru began to whine, "Then why is she there. Why is she dancing around in your head. You love Princess."
Spike got up, "Dru luv you know where my heart lies."
Dru looked up at him disappointed. She indeed knew where his heart lay.
Suddenly she looked at the doorway that lead to the larger room.
"She's here," Dru whispered, "The little thing is here."
Dru looked up at him, remarkably sane, "If you love me then you'll eat her little bitties up."
***
Spike entered the room and looked at Buffy reading the manuscript.
"Where is my security. You think that I could have some decent people who make sure that I can sleep in peace."
"Hi," Buffy said cheerfully putting down the manuscript, "I'm just making myself at home. This is interesting reading material."
"Course I'd find you here, why the bloody hell not? I mean this is my lair and you don't belong here course this is where I find you. Right on the breakfast nook."
"You're not a morning person, that I know, but I always took you as an afternoon person. Perhaps that was only when you were watching Passions."
Spike shrugged off her comment, he was shocked but he was used to it by now. He looked around
"So why are you here?"
Buffy cocked her head. Ready to answer, ready to give him some flip answer, when she realized that she didn't know what she was doing in his lair.
She didn't know why.
Then it hit her. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized what she had been waiting for. She realized why she had taunted him and needled him. She realized what she was looking for in all of this. She had put everything on the line because she believed in something. She wanted to see what was behind the monster.
"Because I like you," she said simply.
Spike looked at the girl who had always greeted him with contempt and mockery was suddenly sitting before him with open green eyes.
"I like you and I need your help."
Spike faltered as he took a step forward the girl, but then he stopped.
"Well isn't that lovely. I don't help slayers and I'm not helping you."
Spike smirked. He felt like he had the upper hand. Then all of the sudden she began to walk nearer to him. She wasn't looking at him anymore she was looking inside of him. At least when Dru did something like that she had the decency to not be so lucid when she peered into his soul.
"Please."
And then she was standing just a few feet away from him. He knew some part of him should want to kill this girl, but suddenly he was undone.
He had felt confusion for the past few days. Confusion he could deal with, but now he was certain. He couldn't say what he was certain about, but he was.
"Do you understand the natural concepts of Slayers and Vampires," he said weakly, "We don't get along."
Tears began to form in her eyes, "No, we never have, but…"
Spike looked at her all gloatingly, "You're just mad because I have the key. I can cure Dru, that scares you."
Buffy looked at him sadly. Spike faltered once again. If he didn't know better he would think that this was jealousy.
Spike took a menacing step toward her. He slipped in game face.
"Little girl are you lost?"
He knew that she usually reacted violently when vampires changed into game face. He had watched her enough to know this. She seemed to revel in killing something that bastardized the human body. He needed to goad her, he needed her mad. The sudden change of her eyes scared him.
Spike approached her, and her face changed, but not in the way that he thought it should.
She seemed to be looking behind the fangs, she was looking beyond the vampire, she was looking into the soul that Spike knew he had lost a long time ago.
She reached a hand out and touched the ridges on his face. She smiled and reached up and kissed him lightly, pulling his bottom lip.
In shock his face melted into human features. The innocence in his eyes was astounding for a creature that had spent more than a century killing.
Without thinking he leaned in and kissed her. He didn't know what he meant to do when he kissed her, but when he found her lips he started to drown. His head was dizzy and he couldn't function.
For one second he gathered a clear thought and pulled away as quickly as possible.
"Listen to me Slayer there is no reason that I want to help you," Spike said as if he had found sunlight. For a few moments he had lost his head.
Buffy saw his resolve fading. She, but she had felt his response.
She opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. She could feel the Spike she knew. She could feel him. She was so sure. However she didn't know how to give the last push.
Fortunately she didn't have to.
Out of the shadows, much like Spike did in Buffy's memory, much like Buffy had only days earlier, arrived the answer.
Cloaked in shadow as she was realization hit Spike very hard.
"Nibblet?" he croaked.
"Did you notice how she never answered if she loved him or not?" Willow said curling around a bowl of popcorn. Xander came next to her with two sodas. They usually spent afternoons watching movies. They never could have date nights, as they had to patrol every night. Dawn and Oz would take the east side, Willow and Xander would take the west side, and Giles would patrol the streets by car until morning. They were the night safety patrol. The city was so tired of their children dying that they didn't go out anymore at night. God forbid they move from the Hellmouth. It was a force that seemed to hold all those who came near stationary. It was like they knew that they were in a bad place, but they couldn't seem to look away.
"Willow, you're a romantic," Xander said stuffing his mouth with popcorn.
"There was just something about the way she said his name…"
"Will the guy is a vampire."
Willow sighed and put another piece of popcorn in her mouth that is how they all went in, one kernel at a time. Then she looked at him.
"Xan, that doesn't sound like you. You don't usually put labels on people."
Xander's forehead wrinkled, "I know. It's weird. I feel all of these things that aren't really me. When Giles called us yesterday I suddenly woke up and I felt different. I know that I just don't like this Spike-guy. I've got all this bitter taste in my mouth."
Willow wordlessly picked up popcorn and shoved it in his mouth.
"Tanks," Xander said with a full mouth, "I men metta-for-cally."
Xander chewed and Willow looked up at him and stroked his cheek.
"It's because of her isn't it?" Willow said softly, "You loved her and she died, you loved Faith and she died. This is your chance isn't it."
Xander captured her head between his hands, "Willow I have always loved your more than anything and not just in that friend way. When Faith caught us making out I couldn't stand hurting her. She needed me for everything that was coming up. However despite everything I realized senior year that I've never care more about anyone than you. I didn't know how to say it for so long."
Willow looked down hesitantly, "Aww shucks Xander…"
"No," Xander said seriously making her look at him, "You are not going to make this into some kind of joke. I love you. For a million different reasons. You're alive so you get the award? Is that what you think. You're wrong. Buffy was here for six months, Faith for nine, you've been here for a life time. You know me. You've seen me at my dorkiest. You've seen me through it all. Will…"
Xander's voice broke, but he went on.
"You saw me when I was black and blue from his fists and with welts the size of his belt. You know every inch of my life. You've seen the dark side and yet somehow you don't flinch and turn away. You should be disgusted with me, but you treat me everyday like a man that I still haven't become. I have faith in all of this because of you."
Willow looked wide eyed and opened her mouth.
Xander went on, "But no matter the weirdness of the last few days I want you to know that I will always be faithful to you."
Willow opened her mouth again and found that this time it worked, "I love you too Xander."
***
"Giles is this for the best?
Dawn looked worriedly into the eyes of her Watcher.
Giles took off his glasses, "I think so. There really is no alternative. We have lost a round and we need to step up our game."
"So can I at least be let in on where Buffy is going?" Dawn asked rolling her eyes, "I'm the slayer too."
Oz came and sat down beside her, "I think we just don't want to worry you."
Dawn fixed him with a death stare, "Tell me now."
Oz and Giles exchanged a look over her head. Dawn pretended not to notice, but she seethed inside. Oz and Giles had begun to treat her like a child two years ago. At first it was nice, it was good that they were trying to compensate for her sudden weakness. Oz would patrol with her in wolf form. It was good as she gathered her strength, but now she was sick of being treated like a child. She loved Oz and she knew that they were doing everything they could to protect her, but she just wanted to have some freedom. They had seemed to forget that she was actually the slayer. Now that she had seen Buffy take charge so often she remembered that her job was not just to sit back.
"Now, plan now," Dawn growled.
Giles sighed but began to tell her what Buffy was doing. Dawn felt that she did a good job of remaining impassive.
"So is Buffy sure that this guy is William the Bloody?"
Oz nodded, "She saw him a couple of times. She says that he is this guy she remembered."
Dawn nodded, "Well it feels good to know. I am tired now, I think I'll rest."
"Do you want company?" Oz said with a smile.
He took care of her. He was faithful and he never lied, even by omission. He was a wonderful protector, but right now she wasn't thinking about the nice puppy guardian she had been given. She was remembering her Doberman. She didn't think he would understand. If he did then he would consult with Giles and that would just lead to them deciding that she should stay home.
They wouldn't understand.
She went upstairs. She had a rare occasion to do this. Oz insisted on sleeping in her bed. He was soft and comfortable and she fit so well under his chin on his shoulder. He loved her and wanted to protect her from whatever could come into the window. It was great most of the time, because she was scared most of the time.
But now she needed to be alone. She needed to do what she couldn't usually do. During the day time they let her alone. She opened the window and thought about how weird it was that she was sneaking out in daylight.
She had become a virtual prisoner.
She needed to get better. Buffy may know how to get it done, but a little leverage never hurt.
***
Buffy walked around the wooden table. The room was empty.
She casually sat down and propped her legs up on the table. She picked up the pieces of paper that lay on the table.
She began to read the sheets.
***
Dru came up behind Spike and began to massage his shoulders.
"So the little burr is beginning to chafe? Silly girl. I'm the princess."
Spike looked up at her and smiled, "Of course you are luv."
Drusilla giggled as he pulled her around to her lap. He began to kiss her thoroughly. Drusilla sighed under his touch. She dreamily pulled away.
When she looked at him again her eyes went from dazed to cold.
"Do you still love Princess?" she demanded.
"Dru I love every non living cell in your body."
Dru began to whine, "Then why is she there. Why is she dancing around in your head. You love Princess."
Spike got up, "Dru luv you know where my heart lies."
Dru looked up at him disappointed. She indeed knew where his heart lay.
Suddenly she looked at the doorway that lead to the larger room.
"She's here," Dru whispered, "The little thing is here."
Dru looked up at him, remarkably sane, "If you love me then you'll eat her little bitties up."
***
Spike entered the room and looked at Buffy reading the manuscript.
"Where is my security. You think that I could have some decent people who make sure that I can sleep in peace."
"Hi," Buffy said cheerfully putting down the manuscript, "I'm just making myself at home. This is interesting reading material."
"Course I'd find you here, why the bloody hell not? I mean this is my lair and you don't belong here course this is where I find you. Right on the breakfast nook."
"You're not a morning person, that I know, but I always took you as an afternoon person. Perhaps that was only when you were watching Passions."
Spike shrugged off her comment, he was shocked but he was used to it by now. He looked around
"So why are you here?"
Buffy cocked her head. Ready to answer, ready to give him some flip answer, when she realized that she didn't know what she was doing in his lair.
She didn't know why.
Then it hit her. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized what she had been waiting for. She realized why she had taunted him and needled him. She realized what she was looking for in all of this. She had put everything on the line because she believed in something. She wanted to see what was behind the monster.
"Because I like you," she said simply.
Spike looked at the girl who had always greeted him with contempt and mockery was suddenly sitting before him with open green eyes.
"I like you and I need your help."
Spike faltered as he took a step forward the girl, but then he stopped.
"Well isn't that lovely. I don't help slayers and I'm not helping you."
Spike smirked. He felt like he had the upper hand. Then all of the sudden she began to walk nearer to him. She wasn't looking at him anymore she was looking inside of him. At least when Dru did something like that she had the decency to not be so lucid when she peered into his soul.
"Please."
And then she was standing just a few feet away from him. He knew some part of him should want to kill this girl, but suddenly he was undone.
He had felt confusion for the past few days. Confusion he could deal with, but now he was certain. He couldn't say what he was certain about, but he was.
"Do you understand the natural concepts of Slayers and Vampires," he said weakly, "We don't get along."
Tears began to form in her eyes, "No, we never have, but…"
Spike looked at her all gloatingly, "You're just mad because I have the key. I can cure Dru, that scares you."
Buffy looked at him sadly. Spike faltered once again. If he didn't know better he would think that this was jealousy.
Spike took a menacing step toward her. He slipped in game face.
"Little girl are you lost?"
He knew that she usually reacted violently when vampires changed into game face. He had watched her enough to know this. She seemed to revel in killing something that bastardized the human body. He needed to goad her, he needed her mad. The sudden change of her eyes scared him.
Spike approached her, and her face changed, but not in the way that he thought it should.
She seemed to be looking behind the fangs, she was looking beyond the vampire, she was looking into the soul that Spike knew he had lost a long time ago.
She reached a hand out and touched the ridges on his face. She smiled and reached up and kissed him lightly, pulling his bottom lip.
In shock his face melted into human features. The innocence in his eyes was astounding for a creature that had spent more than a century killing.
Without thinking he leaned in and kissed her. He didn't know what he meant to do when he kissed her, but when he found her lips he started to drown. His head was dizzy and he couldn't function.
For one second he gathered a clear thought and pulled away as quickly as possible.
"Listen to me Slayer there is no reason that I want to help you," Spike said as if he had found sunlight. For a few moments he had lost his head.
Buffy saw his resolve fading. She, but she had felt his response.
She opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. She could feel the Spike she knew. She could feel him. She was so sure. However she didn't know how to give the last push.
Fortunately she didn't have to.
Out of the shadows, much like Spike did in Buffy's memory, much like Buffy had only days earlier, arrived the answer.
Cloaked in shadow as she was realization hit Spike very hard.
"Nibblet?" he croaked.