Part Four
Bosco slowly became aware of the sounds around him. In the distance, he could hear people talking and someone laughing. Closer, very near he recognized the sound of someone breathing. He tried to open his eyes but found he couldn't. He was surrounded by darkness.
Where was he? Who was there?
He fought the panic rising in his chest as he tried to move his hand to his face. But, he couldn't move it;
something was holding it in place at his side. He gave into the panic, pulled his hand free, and raised it to
his face. His fingers felt the roughness that was covering his face; he frantically ripped at the fabric
covering his face.
"Boz…hey Boz it's okay."
He stopped when he heard the familiar voice. He hoped that the voice he was hearing really was Faith and not some trick the fear and rising panic was playing on him. Then a hand gently pulled his hand from his face.
"Faith?" he whispered softly.
"Yes, It's me. Calm down. Okay?"
Bosco nodded slowly and fought to control his fear. He didn't want Faith to know how close he had come to losing it. He had made the mistake of panicking in front of Carlos once. Afterwards he had told himself
that he would never do it again, especially in front of Faith. He didn't want Faith to worry about him--or
worse--think he was being foolish.
"Faith, what happened? Why are my eyes…" He didn't know how to continue. He vaguely remembered Faith yelling at him then nothing. What had happened?
Faith squeezed his hand and he heard her sigh. She continued to hold onto his hand, her thumb making
small circles on the back of it. She can't tell me, I told her she could tell me anything. The fear returned but this time it formed a small ball in his stomach.
"Bosco, you were in accident."
"No shit," Bosco clamped his mouth closed. He hadn't meant to say that out- loud.
"Bosco," she said lightly. He could tell that she was smiling. "I'll go get your doctor, he's really nice he
can tell you--"
He turned his hand in hers until he was able to grab her fingers with his own. He had to know what she was afraid to tell him. He needed her to tell him not some stranger.
"Faith, please tell me," he pleaded.
He heard her take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do you remember the kids, the ones on bikes?"
He didn't remember any kids, but he nodded his head anyway, he wanted her to finish. He had to know what was going on.
"Well, they made some kind of homemade bomb. I was in the squad with a girl, Mary." Faith paused, cleared her throat then continued quickly. "They were going to throw it into the car with us but you came and pulled us out but it blew before you could get out."
She was silent. It blew up? Why couldn't he remember?
"Faith?" he pleaded.
"Ugh, the doctor says you have first and second degree burns on your left hand and arm."
His arm, what was wrong with his arm? He tried to bend it but it felt heavy and stiff. He pushed that
out of his mind for the time being. He had known Faith too long. She was stalling.
"Dammit, Faith, tell me." He needed to know, didn't she understand that?
"You have burns on your face, too. But what the doctor is concerned about is that your corneas
were burned. He said that we are going to have to wait and see if they get better on their own.
But, Bosco, I'm sure he is just talking worst case, I'm sure they will be fine in no time."
Bosco let go of Faith's hand and pulled it away from her. He tried to tell himself that she was lying. But,
it was Faith; she wouldn't lie to him about something like this. He felt his body going numb; he didn't know what to think. What was he going to do now? Then another feeling took over, dread. How could he face the darkness around him all the time?
"Bosco, listen, it's going to be okay. Do you hear me?"
"How do you know?" he asked softly.
Bosco felt her grasp his hand again and squeeze it.
"I just know." Faith pulled his hand toward her and closed his hand in both of hers. They sat there not
moving for a long time, each silently praying that she was right.
Bosco was too lost in his thoughts to hear the door open so when he heard someone clear their throat he jumped. He felt Faith's hand tighten around his.
"Hello, there, Mr. Boscorelli. My name's Doctor Zimmerman I treated you last night. How do you feel?
Any pain?"
Bosco shook his head. "No, I'm okay."
He heard Faith snort and Zimmerman chuckle. Well, at least I'm entertaining, Bosco thought.
"Your lovely partner has done an excellent job with the basics. Now do you have any questions for me?"
"What happens now? How long before I can see again?"
"Well, that's a difficult question to answer. You managed to burn your corneas. I'm sorry to say that
with this kind of injury we really don't have much of a standard treatment and recovery schedule to follow. Right now, your face is swollen, so we are going to have to wait until that goes down. We are going to be administering eye-drops in each eye four times a day. The pressure bandages will stay on. This will help with the swelling but might also increase your pain and discomfort. But we need to be careful with infections."
Zimmerman stopped talking. Bosco felt his hand squeeze his shoulder.
"I know this is very difficult but it is very important that you stay calm and don't upset yourself.
It's going to take a day or two before we are able to tell you anything."
Stay calm. Come on, Doc, how is that possible? Bosco felt like shouting at him. Instead, he nodded his head and tried to make the doctor think he was okay. That had always worked in the past, so why not now? He just had to convince everyone he was fine, then they would all just go away and then he could figure out how to deal with this.
"So now that you are awake, I'm going to give you a once over, then I'll disconnect you from all this
stuff. After that we are going to take you down and get a Cat Scan done of your head just to make sure
that there wasn't any damage done to your brain. When that's done I'm sure you will be ready for a pain pill and a nap."
"Sure."
Faith squeezed his hand again. "You be good. I'll be back when you're done."
Bosco waved in the direction of her voice. Then he tuned out the doctor as he went about poking and
pressing his arm and fingers. The only thought that was pressing in on him was. `Why me?'
*****************************
Faith stepped out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her. She shut her eyes and leaned back
onto the door. She tried to get control of herself; she refused to break down in front of Bosco but that
didn't mean she wanted to in the middle of a hospital hallway, either. This was all her fault; if she hadn't
been stupid and crawled into the car, Bosco would never had to pull her out of it.
"Hey, stranger."
The voice startled her and she opened her eyes to see Fred standing in front of her.
"Fred?"
He shrugged and awkwardly lifted the small NYPD gym bag.
"After you called me last night, I figured you wouldn't be coming home. So, I packed a bag for you." When she didn't say anything, he shrugged again, then cleared his throat. "They had your picture on the news."
"I'm sorry. I was going to..." Faith was lost for words.
She had forgotten about that short phone call Sully had insisted she make sometime last night when they
were moving Bosco to a new room. She had told Fred what had happened and that she didn't know when she would be home but not to worry about her. After she convinced the nurses to let her stay with Bosco, the rest of her night had been filled with endless thoughts about what would happen if Bosco never got
his sight back and then praying for that to never happen.
Faith let out a long breath and tried to keep her face from betraying her feelings. Fred gave her a sad smile
and then dropped the bag and stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
Faith buried herself in his chest and gripped him tightly.
"Hey, it's okay," Fred whispered into her ear as he stroked her hair.
Faith let the tears slid down her cheeks as they swayed slowly back and forth. They stood that way for
several minutes then Faith slowly released him and looked up at him.
"Thank-you," she whispered.
He wiped the tears from her face and smiled back at her.
"You hungry?" he asked.
She nodded and they both turned and headed toward the cafeteria. After they finished breakfast, Fred kissed her and left for work.
Bosco wasn't back in his room so she wandered into the waiting room and sat down in an ugly green chair. The room was quiet; all the cops and fireman from the night before had left.
She opened the bag Fred had given her; and was digging through it looking for the toothbrush he had promised was there, when she heard someone clear their throat.
She looked up and saw Agent Wilkerson standing in the doorway holding a paper coffee cup. Embarrassment flooded through her when she thought about what she had done to the man the last time she saw him.
"How's your partner?"
"He could be better. They don't know if his eyes are going to heal or not."
Agent Wilkerson nodded and looked down at his coffee. "I wanted to say I was sorry about what happened to him."
Why was he apologizing to her? She was the one that had thrown him into a wall. She didn't know what to say. He looked sad, but surely he wasn't that upset about Bosco.
"Thank-you, I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking."
He made a motion with his free hand at her. "It's okay; you were upset."
Faith nodded then smiled. "Yeah, but I don't usually go around assaulting people either. I usually leave
that up to Bosco."
She stopped when she realized what she had said, her thoughts returning to her partner. He nodded again andlooked away from her toward the far wall. He didn't make any effort to leave, he just took a sip of his
coffee. Faith recognized the lost in thought expression on his face.
"Is everything all right?"
He shook his head once then looked back at her, he looked like he was trying to decide if he wanted to
say anything to her or not. She sat quietly and waited for him to make up his mind.
"I lost a man last night. His was a new; young and way too eager to prove himself. " Wilkerson looked away from her and took another sip of his coffee.
Faith sighed and sat back in her chair. She felt bad to hear about his man and guilty at the same time for
feeling happy that she had not lost Bosco. They were both silent for a few seconds, then Wilkerson took a
few steps toward her and threw his cup away in the trash can next to her chair.
"I have to call his mother and explain how her son was shot in the head while standing guard in some stupid alley waiting for a official that didn't even show up." He groaned and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand.
"You lost him at the hotel?"
"Yes, we think he was murdered around the same time your partner was hurt. But, with all the commotion, we didn't realize he hadn't reported in until an hour later. We are hoping someone saw something but I guess with everything that was happening out front no one seems to have been paying any attention to what was going on behind the place."
Faith agreed with him. "Well, I hope something turns up."
"So do I. Well, I'll see you Officer Yokas." Wilkerson turned and left. She watched him go and wondered
briefly why anyone would be crazy enough to kill an FBI agent with so many other agents near by. Then she turned and went back to searching for her toothbrush.
************************************
Bosco just wanted to get back to his room and be alone.
The tests he had been put through were simple and painless; what had gotten to him was not knowing what was going on around him. The softest sound had made him jump. He hated it. He felt the fear coming back to him each time he was surprised by a touch or heard the rustle of something near him. He needed to calm down.
"Here we are, Mr. Boscorelli, back safe and sound to your own room."
Bosco nodded his head at the annoying cheerful woman. He had been forced to listen to her non- stop
monologue for the entire ride. He just wished she would shut up.
"Oh, what beautiful flowers."
"Huh?" Who would bring him flowers?
"Hi, baby."
Bosco was surprised to hear her voice.
"Ma?"
"Why do you sound so surprised?"
He knew the answer to that, but he wasn't about to tell her that he hadn't thought she would bother to
come. He jumped when he felt her hand touch his shoulder. She gave him a light kiss on his cheek. He
could smell the alcohol on her breath; he pulled his head back from her and coughed. She must not have been too worried, he thought angrily; she had time for a drink before she came.
The nurse pushed him over to the bed and he felt her hand on his arm. He didn't want any help, he shook his arm loose and felt for the bed.
"Let me help you," his mother said.
"No." He wasn't a child anymore. He wasn't going to let her treat him like one.
He fumbled with the covers for a few seconds then pushed himself to his feet and crawled into the bed.
"Okay, Mr. Boscorelli, I'll tell the desk that you are back in your room. Your call button is pinned to your
pillow. The bathroom is to your left but when you have to go call someone in to help you. We wouldn't want you falling down. Is there anything else you need?"
Bosco shook his head and leaned back into his pillow. Great I can't even go to the bathroom by myself. How much more pathetic can you get, Boscorelli?
He heard his mother tell the woman thank-you and then the room was silent. He listened to her pull a chair up near the bed and sit down; he waited for her to speak first. When she didn't he asked.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Oh, your Lieutenant called last night and left a message on my machine. You know me though, by the time I got home I was really tired so I just went to bed. Then this morning when I got up, Henry called to ask me if the guy he saw on the news was you." She paused for a second. "You haven't meet Henry, have you?"
Bosco resisted the urge to tell her he could care less who Henry was. Instead, he just shook his head, trying to keep his slowly building anger under control.
"Where was I, oh yeah, that's when I listened to my machine and got the message from your Lieutenant. Then Faith right after that. I thought that was nice of them to call, especially Henry. I think you would like him, he treats me real nice."
He didn't understand why he was so mad. His mother had been this way his entire life. She always thought about the men in her life first, then him and Mikey. Why did he expect her to change?
When he was a kid, after his father had left them, he had wished that he was enough for her, but he hadn't
been so he had decided it was up to him to take care of her and Mikey. Why couldn't she for just once put
him first, was that too much to ask?
"You mean this one doesn't beat you as much," he spat at her. "I'm sure we'll get along just great. Why
don't you bring him by and we'll all get drunk together?"
Before either of them could say anything, he heard a light knock on the door and then the sound of it
opening.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know…" Faith trailed off for a second then continued. "Am I interrupting anything? Because I can come back."
Shit, perfect timing as usual, Faith. He didn't know what to tell her, and then his mother cleared her
throat and got up from her chair.
"No, no I was just leaving," she said quickly. "Bye sweetie," she whispered to him. She was out the door
before he had a chance to say anything.
"What in the world did you say to your mother?"
Bosco shrugged. He had been so angry with her but he didn't know where his words had come from.
"Bosco, you had to say something to her. She looked like she was about to burst into tears."
"I don't want to talk about it." The last thing he wanted was a lecture from Faith.
"Okay." She was silent but he could hear her walking toward him. "These are nice, did your mom bring them?"
He had no idea what she was talking about. He felt totally helpless and to him that was worse than his
fear of things hiding in the darkness. He lost what little self-control he had been clinging to in the
last couple of hours and turned on Faith.
"I can't see anything, Faith! Don't you get it?"
He swung his right hand out to the front of him then to the side to prove his point. When he did, his hand
hit something hard that was sitting on a table he hadn't realized was so close. The object tipped and he
heard the sound of glass shattering on the floor. The noise made him jump.
"Bosco!" Faith was next to him in a few seconds and grabbing his hand. "Are you okay?"
Bosco yanked his hand from her grasp.
"Stop it! Stop treating me like a child!"
He reached down, grabbed the blankets, and pushed them away from his legs. He was already struggling to get out of the other side of the bed before he realized that he didn't have a clue where he was going. He just couldn't be here anymore. He pushed himself to his feet and instantly collided with a chair.
He could feel Faith next to him, she was trying to move the chair. Before she could do it, he shoved the
chair as hard as he could. He listened to it slid across the floor and then crash into the wall.
"Bosco, what the hell are you doing?"
He tried to ignore her. But she grabbed his arm as he was trying to stumble past her and forced him stop.
"Bosco, you need to calm down."
"I wish everyone would stop telling me how to act."
"It's okay, I know this is difficult. I know how you feel but..."
"You haven't a clue how I feel!" he shouted at her, as he tried to pull his arm free from her grasp.
Faith released his arm and he stumbled away from her. He remembered the bathroom was to his left so he felt his way around his bed and slowly stepped toward it. Faith didn't say anything to him, but he could feel her next to him.
He hit the wall in front of him hard and cursed. He ran his hands down the wall until he felt a corner, he
cursed again and started back slowly in the other direction until he felt the doorframe. He grabbed the
handle and stopped. The anger was draining away, he stood clinging to the door handle feeling empty and
ashamed.
He knew she was still there, why didn't she just leave him alone? "See, I can do this. I'm not helpless so
you don't have to stay, either."
"I'm not your mother, Bosco. You can't scare me away so easily," she said quietly.
She was closer than he thought and the sound of her voice next to him made him jump. He felt his arm
begin to tremble. She put a steadying hand on his elbow but he pulled away from her.
"What are you so afraid of, Bosco?"
"Nothing, I'm not afraid of anything. Just leave me alone."
He pulled open the door and rushed inside. How could he tell her that she was right? How could he tell her what he was afraid of? She would laugh at him.
No, Faith wouldn't laugh at him, but that wouldn't stop him from feeling the rising fear and the horrible
feeling of not being able to control it. No way was he going to have her feel sorry for him.
Faith knocked on the door. "Bosco, you can't just hide in the bathroom."
"Faith, go away!"
Bosco leaned his back against the wall and tried to stop himself from trembling. He slid down the wall
until he was sitting on the floor. He wasn't hiding. How can you hide from something that won't go away?
***********
Bosco slowly became aware of the sounds around him. In the distance, he could hear people talking and someone laughing. Closer, very near he recognized the sound of someone breathing. He tried to open his eyes but found he couldn't. He was surrounded by darkness.
Where was he? Who was there?
He fought the panic rising in his chest as he tried to move his hand to his face. But, he couldn't move it;
something was holding it in place at his side. He gave into the panic, pulled his hand free, and raised it to
his face. His fingers felt the roughness that was covering his face; he frantically ripped at the fabric
covering his face.
"Boz…hey Boz it's okay."
He stopped when he heard the familiar voice. He hoped that the voice he was hearing really was Faith and not some trick the fear and rising panic was playing on him. Then a hand gently pulled his hand from his face.
"Faith?" he whispered softly.
"Yes, It's me. Calm down. Okay?"
Bosco nodded slowly and fought to control his fear. He didn't want Faith to know how close he had come to losing it. He had made the mistake of panicking in front of Carlos once. Afterwards he had told himself
that he would never do it again, especially in front of Faith. He didn't want Faith to worry about him--or
worse--think he was being foolish.
"Faith, what happened? Why are my eyes…" He didn't know how to continue. He vaguely remembered Faith yelling at him then nothing. What had happened?
Faith squeezed his hand and he heard her sigh. She continued to hold onto his hand, her thumb making
small circles on the back of it. She can't tell me, I told her she could tell me anything. The fear returned but this time it formed a small ball in his stomach.
"Bosco, you were in accident."
"No shit," Bosco clamped his mouth closed. He hadn't meant to say that out- loud.
"Bosco," she said lightly. He could tell that she was smiling. "I'll go get your doctor, he's really nice he
can tell you--"
He turned his hand in hers until he was able to grab her fingers with his own. He had to know what she was afraid to tell him. He needed her to tell him not some stranger.
"Faith, please tell me," he pleaded.
He heard her take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do you remember the kids, the ones on bikes?"
He didn't remember any kids, but he nodded his head anyway, he wanted her to finish. He had to know what was going on.
"Well, they made some kind of homemade bomb. I was in the squad with a girl, Mary." Faith paused, cleared her throat then continued quickly. "They were going to throw it into the car with us but you came and pulled us out but it blew before you could get out."
She was silent. It blew up? Why couldn't he remember?
"Faith?" he pleaded.
"Ugh, the doctor says you have first and second degree burns on your left hand and arm."
His arm, what was wrong with his arm? He tried to bend it but it felt heavy and stiff. He pushed that
out of his mind for the time being. He had known Faith too long. She was stalling.
"Dammit, Faith, tell me." He needed to know, didn't she understand that?
"You have burns on your face, too. But what the doctor is concerned about is that your corneas
were burned. He said that we are going to have to wait and see if they get better on their own.
But, Bosco, I'm sure he is just talking worst case, I'm sure they will be fine in no time."
Bosco let go of Faith's hand and pulled it away from her. He tried to tell himself that she was lying. But,
it was Faith; she wouldn't lie to him about something like this. He felt his body going numb; he didn't know what to think. What was he going to do now? Then another feeling took over, dread. How could he face the darkness around him all the time?
"Bosco, listen, it's going to be okay. Do you hear me?"
"How do you know?" he asked softly.
Bosco felt her grasp his hand again and squeeze it.
"I just know." Faith pulled his hand toward her and closed his hand in both of hers. They sat there not
moving for a long time, each silently praying that she was right.
Bosco was too lost in his thoughts to hear the door open so when he heard someone clear their throat he jumped. He felt Faith's hand tighten around his.
"Hello, there, Mr. Boscorelli. My name's Doctor Zimmerman I treated you last night. How do you feel?
Any pain?"
Bosco shook his head. "No, I'm okay."
He heard Faith snort and Zimmerman chuckle. Well, at least I'm entertaining, Bosco thought.
"Your lovely partner has done an excellent job with the basics. Now do you have any questions for me?"
"What happens now? How long before I can see again?"
"Well, that's a difficult question to answer. You managed to burn your corneas. I'm sorry to say that
with this kind of injury we really don't have much of a standard treatment and recovery schedule to follow. Right now, your face is swollen, so we are going to have to wait until that goes down. We are going to be administering eye-drops in each eye four times a day. The pressure bandages will stay on. This will help with the swelling but might also increase your pain and discomfort. But we need to be careful with infections."
Zimmerman stopped talking. Bosco felt his hand squeeze his shoulder.
"I know this is very difficult but it is very important that you stay calm and don't upset yourself.
It's going to take a day or two before we are able to tell you anything."
Stay calm. Come on, Doc, how is that possible? Bosco felt like shouting at him. Instead, he nodded his head and tried to make the doctor think he was okay. That had always worked in the past, so why not now? He just had to convince everyone he was fine, then they would all just go away and then he could figure out how to deal with this.
"So now that you are awake, I'm going to give you a once over, then I'll disconnect you from all this
stuff. After that we are going to take you down and get a Cat Scan done of your head just to make sure
that there wasn't any damage done to your brain. When that's done I'm sure you will be ready for a pain pill and a nap."
"Sure."
Faith squeezed his hand again. "You be good. I'll be back when you're done."
Bosco waved in the direction of her voice. Then he tuned out the doctor as he went about poking and
pressing his arm and fingers. The only thought that was pressing in on him was. `Why me?'
*****************************
Faith stepped out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her. She shut her eyes and leaned back
onto the door. She tried to get control of herself; she refused to break down in front of Bosco but that
didn't mean she wanted to in the middle of a hospital hallway, either. This was all her fault; if she hadn't
been stupid and crawled into the car, Bosco would never had to pull her out of it.
"Hey, stranger."
The voice startled her and she opened her eyes to see Fred standing in front of her.
"Fred?"
He shrugged and awkwardly lifted the small NYPD gym bag.
"After you called me last night, I figured you wouldn't be coming home. So, I packed a bag for you." When she didn't say anything, he shrugged again, then cleared his throat. "They had your picture on the news."
"I'm sorry. I was going to..." Faith was lost for words.
She had forgotten about that short phone call Sully had insisted she make sometime last night when they
were moving Bosco to a new room. She had told Fred what had happened and that she didn't know when she would be home but not to worry about her. After she convinced the nurses to let her stay with Bosco, the rest of her night had been filled with endless thoughts about what would happen if Bosco never got
his sight back and then praying for that to never happen.
Faith let out a long breath and tried to keep her face from betraying her feelings. Fred gave her a sad smile
and then dropped the bag and stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
Faith buried herself in his chest and gripped him tightly.
"Hey, it's okay," Fred whispered into her ear as he stroked her hair.
Faith let the tears slid down her cheeks as they swayed slowly back and forth. They stood that way for
several minutes then Faith slowly released him and looked up at him.
"Thank-you," she whispered.
He wiped the tears from her face and smiled back at her.
"You hungry?" he asked.
She nodded and they both turned and headed toward the cafeteria. After they finished breakfast, Fred kissed her and left for work.
Bosco wasn't back in his room so she wandered into the waiting room and sat down in an ugly green chair. The room was quiet; all the cops and fireman from the night before had left.
She opened the bag Fred had given her; and was digging through it looking for the toothbrush he had promised was there, when she heard someone clear their throat.
She looked up and saw Agent Wilkerson standing in the doorway holding a paper coffee cup. Embarrassment flooded through her when she thought about what she had done to the man the last time she saw him.
"How's your partner?"
"He could be better. They don't know if his eyes are going to heal or not."
Agent Wilkerson nodded and looked down at his coffee. "I wanted to say I was sorry about what happened to him."
Why was he apologizing to her? She was the one that had thrown him into a wall. She didn't know what to say. He looked sad, but surely he wasn't that upset about Bosco.
"Thank-you, I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking."
He made a motion with his free hand at her. "It's okay; you were upset."
Faith nodded then smiled. "Yeah, but I don't usually go around assaulting people either. I usually leave
that up to Bosco."
She stopped when she realized what she had said, her thoughts returning to her partner. He nodded again andlooked away from her toward the far wall. He didn't make any effort to leave, he just took a sip of his
coffee. Faith recognized the lost in thought expression on his face.
"Is everything all right?"
He shook his head once then looked back at her, he looked like he was trying to decide if he wanted to
say anything to her or not. She sat quietly and waited for him to make up his mind.
"I lost a man last night. His was a new; young and way too eager to prove himself. " Wilkerson looked away from her and took another sip of his coffee.
Faith sighed and sat back in her chair. She felt bad to hear about his man and guilty at the same time for
feeling happy that she had not lost Bosco. They were both silent for a few seconds, then Wilkerson took a
few steps toward her and threw his cup away in the trash can next to her chair.
"I have to call his mother and explain how her son was shot in the head while standing guard in some stupid alley waiting for a official that didn't even show up." He groaned and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand.
"You lost him at the hotel?"
"Yes, we think he was murdered around the same time your partner was hurt. But, with all the commotion, we didn't realize he hadn't reported in until an hour later. We are hoping someone saw something but I guess with everything that was happening out front no one seems to have been paying any attention to what was going on behind the place."
Faith agreed with him. "Well, I hope something turns up."
"So do I. Well, I'll see you Officer Yokas." Wilkerson turned and left. She watched him go and wondered
briefly why anyone would be crazy enough to kill an FBI agent with so many other agents near by. Then she turned and went back to searching for her toothbrush.
************************************
Bosco just wanted to get back to his room and be alone.
The tests he had been put through were simple and painless; what had gotten to him was not knowing what was going on around him. The softest sound had made him jump. He hated it. He felt the fear coming back to him each time he was surprised by a touch or heard the rustle of something near him. He needed to calm down.
"Here we are, Mr. Boscorelli, back safe and sound to your own room."
Bosco nodded his head at the annoying cheerful woman. He had been forced to listen to her non- stop
monologue for the entire ride. He just wished she would shut up.
"Oh, what beautiful flowers."
"Huh?" Who would bring him flowers?
"Hi, baby."
Bosco was surprised to hear her voice.
"Ma?"
"Why do you sound so surprised?"
He knew the answer to that, but he wasn't about to tell her that he hadn't thought she would bother to
come. He jumped when he felt her hand touch his shoulder. She gave him a light kiss on his cheek. He
could smell the alcohol on her breath; he pulled his head back from her and coughed. She must not have been too worried, he thought angrily; she had time for a drink before she came.
The nurse pushed him over to the bed and he felt her hand on his arm. He didn't want any help, he shook his arm loose and felt for the bed.
"Let me help you," his mother said.
"No." He wasn't a child anymore. He wasn't going to let her treat him like one.
He fumbled with the covers for a few seconds then pushed himself to his feet and crawled into the bed.
"Okay, Mr. Boscorelli, I'll tell the desk that you are back in your room. Your call button is pinned to your
pillow. The bathroom is to your left but when you have to go call someone in to help you. We wouldn't want you falling down. Is there anything else you need?"
Bosco shook his head and leaned back into his pillow. Great I can't even go to the bathroom by myself. How much more pathetic can you get, Boscorelli?
He heard his mother tell the woman thank-you and then the room was silent. He listened to her pull a chair up near the bed and sit down; he waited for her to speak first. When she didn't he asked.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Oh, your Lieutenant called last night and left a message on my machine. You know me though, by the time I got home I was really tired so I just went to bed. Then this morning when I got up, Henry called to ask me if the guy he saw on the news was you." She paused for a second. "You haven't meet Henry, have you?"
Bosco resisted the urge to tell her he could care less who Henry was. Instead, he just shook his head, trying to keep his slowly building anger under control.
"Where was I, oh yeah, that's when I listened to my machine and got the message from your Lieutenant. Then Faith right after that. I thought that was nice of them to call, especially Henry. I think you would like him, he treats me real nice."
He didn't understand why he was so mad. His mother had been this way his entire life. She always thought about the men in her life first, then him and Mikey. Why did he expect her to change?
When he was a kid, after his father had left them, he had wished that he was enough for her, but he hadn't
been so he had decided it was up to him to take care of her and Mikey. Why couldn't she for just once put
him first, was that too much to ask?
"You mean this one doesn't beat you as much," he spat at her. "I'm sure we'll get along just great. Why
don't you bring him by and we'll all get drunk together?"
Before either of them could say anything, he heard a light knock on the door and then the sound of it
opening.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know…" Faith trailed off for a second then continued. "Am I interrupting anything? Because I can come back."
Shit, perfect timing as usual, Faith. He didn't know what to tell her, and then his mother cleared her
throat and got up from her chair.
"No, no I was just leaving," she said quickly. "Bye sweetie," she whispered to him. She was out the door
before he had a chance to say anything.
"What in the world did you say to your mother?"
Bosco shrugged. He had been so angry with her but he didn't know where his words had come from.
"Bosco, you had to say something to her. She looked like she was about to burst into tears."
"I don't want to talk about it." The last thing he wanted was a lecture from Faith.
"Okay." She was silent but he could hear her walking toward him. "These are nice, did your mom bring them?"
He had no idea what she was talking about. He felt totally helpless and to him that was worse than his
fear of things hiding in the darkness. He lost what little self-control he had been clinging to in the
last couple of hours and turned on Faith.
"I can't see anything, Faith! Don't you get it?"
He swung his right hand out to the front of him then to the side to prove his point. When he did, his hand
hit something hard that was sitting on a table he hadn't realized was so close. The object tipped and he
heard the sound of glass shattering on the floor. The noise made him jump.
"Bosco!" Faith was next to him in a few seconds and grabbing his hand. "Are you okay?"
Bosco yanked his hand from her grasp.
"Stop it! Stop treating me like a child!"
He reached down, grabbed the blankets, and pushed them away from his legs. He was already struggling to get out of the other side of the bed before he realized that he didn't have a clue where he was going. He just couldn't be here anymore. He pushed himself to his feet and instantly collided with a chair.
He could feel Faith next to him, she was trying to move the chair. Before she could do it, he shoved the
chair as hard as he could. He listened to it slid across the floor and then crash into the wall.
"Bosco, what the hell are you doing?"
He tried to ignore her. But she grabbed his arm as he was trying to stumble past her and forced him stop.
"Bosco, you need to calm down."
"I wish everyone would stop telling me how to act."
"It's okay, I know this is difficult. I know how you feel but..."
"You haven't a clue how I feel!" he shouted at her, as he tried to pull his arm free from her grasp.
Faith released his arm and he stumbled away from her. He remembered the bathroom was to his left so he felt his way around his bed and slowly stepped toward it. Faith didn't say anything to him, but he could feel her next to him.
He hit the wall in front of him hard and cursed. He ran his hands down the wall until he felt a corner, he
cursed again and started back slowly in the other direction until he felt the doorframe. He grabbed the
handle and stopped. The anger was draining away, he stood clinging to the door handle feeling empty and
ashamed.
He knew she was still there, why didn't she just leave him alone? "See, I can do this. I'm not helpless so
you don't have to stay, either."
"I'm not your mother, Bosco. You can't scare me away so easily," she said quietly.
She was closer than he thought and the sound of her voice next to him made him jump. He felt his arm
begin to tremble. She put a steadying hand on his elbow but he pulled away from her.
"What are you so afraid of, Bosco?"
"Nothing, I'm not afraid of anything. Just leave me alone."
He pulled open the door and rushed inside. How could he tell her that she was right? How could he tell her what he was afraid of? She would laugh at him.
No, Faith wouldn't laugh at him, but that wouldn't stop him from feeling the rising fear and the horrible
feeling of not being able to control it. No way was he going to have her feel sorry for him.
Faith knocked on the door. "Bosco, you can't just hide in the bathroom."
"Faith, go away!"
Bosco leaned his back against the wall and tried to stop himself from trembling. He slid down the wall
until he was sitting on the floor. He wasn't hiding. How can you hide from something that won't go away?
***********