Part Six
He drifted peacefully in a world of silence, then without warning he began to hear voices. He recognized the voices. Faith, co-workers and people he had met. Some were more familiar than others but he wanted them all to go away. He thought that he had finally found somewhere where his fears and demons wouldn't reach him but he was wrong, they even invaded him here. Why
were they still bothering him?
Then he felt himself being pulled from his peaceful state. Memories of the past couple of days flooded back to him and he felt the pain and uncontrollable fear. Then a feeling of horrible dread about his future overwhelmed him. He forced the feeling away. He told himself that he needed to focus on today and not worry about what was going to happen to him tomorrow. Jeez, he was starting to sound like some damn touchy-feely therapist. Where had that come from?
Bosco let the sounds around him drift in slowly. He heard a TV with the sound turned down somewhere in front of him. He also heard footsteps and muffled voices from people in the hall. Then he heard something crinkling and then a wonderful smell he knew immediately as a steak sandwich. His stomach growled and then churned. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he ate anything, but he was starving.
He wasn't sure if he was ready to face Faith or not. The entire breakdown came back to him; he had been such an idiot, such a wimp. He had actually cried in her arms. She probably thinks I'm a world class loser.
He coughed and then regretted it because his head began to pound. His face stung and he felt pretty miserable and if he hadn't been so hungry he would have tried to force himself back to sleep.
He heard Faith chuckle. "I thought an Iggy's steak sandwich would bring you around."
"What?" he croaked, then groaned.
"Those drugs must be great. You've been out for almost five hours. They changed your bandages and you never felt it."
He raised his hand to the soft bandages still covering his eyes, then let his hand drop to his side. He had hoped all of his memories had been one huge bad dream.
"And lucky for you--not so much for me--you missed the half a dozen very impatient FBI guys and some top brass that came down to see you. But you were still playing sleeping beauty and they had to go away a little ticked after your night nurse showed up and kicked them out. Your nurse was scary. My advice to you is to behave yourself until you get out of here because I think she can take you."
Bosco tried to snort at that, but his attempt failed and he began to cough instead. He heard a chair squeak and felt Faith's hand touching his. She was holding a glass. He managed to take it from her. Without saying anything he sipped from it a couple times until his throat was no longer dry and scratchy. When he lowered it, she took it from him, and he mumbled thank-you.
This is what your life boils down to now, Bosco, you can't do anything for yourself so get use to it, he thought.
Faith broke the silence. "You hungry?"
Bosco couldn't stop the grin. "Are you kidding?"
"I thought you might enjoy some real food instead of what they left, so I had Sully pick up some steak sandwiches."
Faith pushed a sandwich into his hand and he took it, raised it to his mouth, and took a bite. It was the best thing he had ever tasted he thought to himself. He took several more bites, chewed slowly, and swallowed.
"How you feeling?"
He knew the question was coming. How could it not? He had broken down to a blubbering mess in front of her eyes, how could she not ask? What should he say?
"I'm fine." Give her the standard answer first, he told himself.
"Uh huh." Faith said. She wasn't stupid and he knew she wasn't going to fall for it but he had hoped that after what he had told her she would just drop it. Of course the reason she was asking in the first place was because of what he had told her.
"What do you want me to say, Faith? Do you want to know how pathetic and worthless I feel right now?" he snapped at her.
She didn't say anything, then he heard her turn and walk to the far side of the room. With that one
sentence he had done what he hadn't wanted to do: he had hurt her. He knew she was trying to decide what to say. He leaned back and decided to wait for her to answer him. She paced for a few seconds then returned to his side. He heard her sigh and then she sat down beside him on the bed.
"No, Bos, I don't want to hear how pathetic and worthless you feel right now. I can't tell you that
you have no right feeling the way you do and as much as I would love to be able to tell you that all of this is going to turn out okay, I can't do that either. But, I am not going to sit here and let you close yourself off in this horrible little nightmare again. I'm here for you, I'm your friend and that means I won't let you bullshit me anymore."
Bosco sighed and nodded his head toward her. He wanted to tell her he was lucky to have a friend like her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want to do anything to upset her again, instead he just bowed his head and told her. "I feel like crap, my head hurts and I'm not real thrilled about bawling like a baby. Happy?"
"Not really, how could I be?" Bosco felt Faith's hand settle on his knee. "I'm sorry you still feel bad, do you want me to find a nurse? Maybe she can give you something?"
"No, I don't want anything."
"Okay, maybe later." Faith was silent for a second then she sighed, " You really don't have anything to be ashamed of, you needed to get all of that out, I'm just glad I was here for you so you could."
"Faith, thank-you, You are… I just…" He didn't know what to say to her.
"It's okay, Bos, I know." Faith squeezed his knee.
Bosco smiled at her and wished more than anything that he could see her face right now. He had no doubt in his mind that she really did know exactly what he meant. He was relieved that he didn't have to fight for the words to tell her.
Faith cleared her throat and then asked. "You going to finish that greasy sandwich before it leaks all over the bed?"
"Hey, the grease is the best part!" he said defensively, then took the last couple of bites of his
sandwich. "What did you say about the FBI?" he asked suddenly, remembering her comment from before. He finished chewing the last of the soggy roll and began to lick his fingers
"Agent Wilkerson and some of his task force agents were here. They wanted to ask you about a dead FBI agent. Jeez, Bosco. You are a slob."
Faith pushed a napkin into his hand and he reluctantly used it to wipe his fingers of the greasy remains.
"What dead FBI agent?"
"They found one of their agents killed after we left for the hospital. I guess they want to ask you if you remember anything."
"I don't even remember the explosion, Faith, how am I supposed to remember some FBI agent?"
"I don't know."
He was about to ask why they wanted to know if he remembered anything when he heard a knock on the door and then the sound of it opening. Faith got up from the bed and he heard her grabbing the wrapper from the sandwich.
"Good Evening, Mr. Boscorelli. I'm Dr. Foster."
"Nice to meet you Doctor, I'm Faith Yokas. Bosco's my partner."
"Yes, yes, Dr. Zimmerman told me about you, I'm glad I was able to meet you. Dr. Zimmerman asked me to stop by and have a look at your eyes, Mr. Boscorelli. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure, okay." He tried to sound calm but his voice came out an octave higher and he winced at the freighted edge it seemed to give his voice.
The doctor chuckled and stepped forward. Faith was again at his side, took his hand, and squeezed it.
"Before I do anything, I want to make sure you understand a couple of things. First, I want you to
promise me that whatever happens with your sight when I remove your bandages, you won't let yourself get too worked up. You need to keep calm and listen to what I have to say, understand?"
Bosco nodded but felt his stomach clinch with panic. Why did he sound like he didn't expect good news?
"Please just get on with it."
"Very well, Ms. Yokas, will you turn that overhead light off?"
Faith let go of his hand for a second, then grabbed it again. Bosco took a deep breath and tried to remember the yoga breathing exercises he had been taught to try and calm himself. It really wasn't working. He felt the gauze that had been wrapped around his head loosen and then it fell from his face. He tried not to flinch.
"How you doing?" Dr. Foster asked.
"I'm okay," he answered in a shaky voice. Yeah, that sounded really convincing he told himself.
"What I want you to do now is close your eyes until I tell you to open them, let me just get these eye bandages off. It looks like someone made sure these things weren't going anywhere."
Bosco felt the pressure on his eyelids lift and he fought to keep his eyes shut as the doctor had told him. He felt the doctor pressing gently on his cheeks and then under each eye.
"Looks like the anti-inflammatory medication is working, there is some swelling but it doesn't look too bad. These burns look like they should heal nicely too."
"Is he going to have any scars?" Faith asked.
"That's hard to say, but I don't think he will have to worry about any of these. The ones further over near his ear may scar some, but once it heals I don't think any of them are going to be very noticeable. And if they are he can always come in and have some grafts done to smooth them out."
Bosco was about to tell them that he was not going to have some stupid face lift when he felt Faith's grip on his hand tighten.
"Mr. Boscorelli, I want you to open your eyes slowly and blink a couple of times for me."
He took a deep breath and did as he was told. He opened his eyes; it was a little more difficult than he thought. They were sore and as soon as he got them open they began to water. But he blinked three times and saw nothing but black.
**************************************
Faith watched as Bosco slowly opened his eyes and blinked. He blinked again, then she watched as disappointment flooded his face. He dropped his head and sighed loudly.
"Nothing."
Faith fought back tears and looked up into the kind face of Dr. Foster. He was smiling, trying to reassure her, but she couldn't help notice that he looked a little disappointed, too.
"Mr. Boscorelli, I told you that you should try not to get to disappointed. It has only been a little over twenty-four hours since the accident, you have to be patient and give your eyes a chance to heal. Now if you can raise your head, I want to get a good look."
Faith watched Bosco raise his head and surrender himself over to the doctor. Faith watched as his jaw twitched and she could tell that he was barely keeping himself under control. Dr. Foster looked in both his eyes and then reached in his pocket for a bottle of eye drops.
"Okay, I'm just going to put a few drops in your eyes so I can get a better look. Still doing okay?" Bosco didn't say anything, he just nodded stiffly. Dr. Foster carefully tilted Bosco's head back and squeezed a few drops into his eyes.
When the doctor lowered his hand from Bosco's face, Faith got her first real good look at her partner's unbandaged face. Small blisters were forming on the right side of his face close to his ear and a little higher near his scalp. But what really disturbed Faith were his eyes. Bosco's empty eyes just looked out at her; they were blank and looked almost foreign to her. The little mischievous twinkle that was Bosco was gone.
Faith watched Dr. Foster finish his examination and then look up at her. He still had the small reassuring smile on his face. He reached into another pocket and came out with cream and more bandages then he turned to Bosco.
"I know you are upset that you still can't see, but your eyes seem to be healing nicely. I don't see any signs of infection, which is one of our main concerns in a case like yours. I have the results from the tests Dr. Zimmerman performed last night and I can see some improvement."
Faith heard Bosco let out a shuddering breath and he squeezed Faith's hand for the first time. She smiled at him without thinking, then returned the squeeze as Dr. Foster continued to talk.
"Does that mean I'm going to be able to see again?"
Faith saw Dr. Foster's smile waver. Oh god no. Please don't tell him that he is going to be blind forever. Faith knew that no matter what he had promised her before he wouldn't be able to stand living the rest of his life as a blind man.
"I see you get right to the point, Mr. Boscorelli."
"I'm a cop, Doc, I need to get right to the point, and you're stalling."
Dr. Foster's smile finally faded from his face. It had only been for her behalf anyway and Bosco had forced him to concentrate on the one question that the doctor probably didn't have an answer for.
"I can't tell you anything for sure. Everything looks like it's healing the way it supposed to heal. So right now all that I can tell you is that when we are dealing with this type of injury there really is no way to be absolutely positive about the final outcome. What you need is time. I know that isn't what you want to hear but that's the only answer I have for you." Dr. Foster finished and then glanced at her. "Just give it some more time, don't give up until there is a reason to."
Bosco nodded and then cleared his throat. "Okay, but patience is one thing that I don't have a whole lot of, ask Faith she'll tell you." He was trying to lighten up the mood and she thought it was sweet of him to try.
She felt the tears brimming in her eyes as she laughed. "That's right, partner, you and patience have never met."
Dr. Foster applied some cream under Bosco's eyes and then placed the bandages back on his eyes and wrapped the gauze around his head until it was secure.
"Now I want you to get some rest, I'm going to run some blood work and look for anything abnormal and tomorrow morning you are going to have another CAT Scan to make sure everything is still normal."
"When can I get out of here?"
Faith saw Dr. Foster shake his head slightly.
"We really would like to keep you here until we see more improvement."
"Why? It's not like I need to be here."
Faith knew Bosco hated staying in the hospital. The couple times that he had been forced to stay he had been bored and upset. She knew without the distraction of being able to watch TV, he was going to be just plain miserable the longer he was forced to stay.
"Okay, how about we take this one step at a time? If we release you, and I stress the word 'if,' Mr. Boscorelli, you will need to go home with someone that will be able to provide you with assistance and be able to provide you with home care."
"I don't need anyone to take care of me," he said stubbornly.
"Yes, you do, at least for a little while until your eyes heal completely and we are able to judge if the damage was permanent or not. Now I'll check back on you later."
Dr. Foster shook her hand and then turned and left the room.
Bosco groaned and dropped his head back onto his pillow. He pulled his hand from hers and rubbed the back of his head. Faith used both hands to wipe the moisture from her eyes. She took a couple of steps away from him and sunk into the chair that she had pulled up to the side of his bed earlier that day.
"Hey, he told you to give it a little time. This isn't going to be permanent. You got to believe that."
"I'm trying Faith, I'm trying," he said softly.
He already sounded defeated.
"Bos, it's going to be okay," she tried again.
He sighed loudly and dropped his hand back to the bed beside him.
"Can you go get me something for my headache?"
He was asking her to leave; she bit her bottom lip and answered him. "Sure, Bosco. I'll be right back."
She leaned over and patted his arm, then turned and fled the room. She didn't stop until she reached the bathroom around the corner from his room. She went straight to the sink and turned on the tap. She cupped some water and splashed it onto her face. When she looked up into the mirror in front of her, she was startled at the reflection that stared back. She was pale and looked very tired. Her eyes were red and her hair was a mess.
She tore off a paper towel and ran in under the water. As she patted her face with the cool cloth, she drug her fingers through her hair briefly. She decided it was a lost cause and turned and left the bathroom.
She went to the Nurse's Station to ask the nurse to bring Bosco an aspirin, then headed back toward Bosco's room. As she got closer to the door, she felt herself slow down. She didn't want to rush back in that room; he was still embarrassed by his breakdown earlier and if he wanted time alone, he deserved to get it.
Faith turned back toward the Coke machine and got one for her and Bosco. She glanced at the clock over the machine and saw that it was almost five. She closed her eyes and then headed back toward Bosco's room, wondering what Emily and Charlie were doing.
When she got close to the room, she saw a short brunette standing next to Bosco's door. She looked like she was trying to decide to knock or not.
"Can I help you?"
The woman jumped, then turned quickly to look at Faith. The first thing Faith noticed was that she was pretty. Not the glamorous type of pretty but natural pretty, she had vivid green eyes and Faith noticed that they were a little red and sad.
"You must be Faith."
Faith was confused and her face must have shown that because the woman smiled and then put out her hand.
"I'm Kristen, Bosco has told me so much about you…and from the look on your face, he hasn't even mentioned me, right?"
Faith stared at her a second longer. This was Kristen? She had just found out about her yesterday and now they were face to face. Faith pushed that thought out of her head and grabbed Kristen's outstretched hand.
"Actually, he was going on and on about you yesterday before…"
Faith stopped when she saw an odd expression cross Kristen's face. Kristen nodded at her, then let go of Faith's hand and rubbed her hands together nervously.
"I heard about it on the news last night. I called, but I could never get through, then when I called
again this morning I didn't really think they would tell me anything because I'm not family. But I have a friend who works here and she couldn't get any information either. The news this morning said he was doing better though, so I decided to take a chance and come down."
"They usually don't give out any information about police officers to the public. It's just some kind of precaution. Although how the reporters know as much as they do, I have no clue."
Kristen nodded then asked. "Is he awake?"
Faith didn't think Bosco was in that great of a mood. Did he even want to see her? Should she tell her to leave? Faith decided that maybe Kristen was just the person he needed, someone that would hopefully be comforting.
"Yes, but let me warn you he can't see. His eyes were burned and the doctor can't tell us if it's permanent or not. The doctor just looked at them, the news wasn't good and Bosco is still pretty upset."
Faith watched Kristen process the information. She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them Faith saw determination.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to upset him, honest. I just need to see him for myself." Kristen was silent for a minute. Then she gave Faith a serious look and asked, "You care about him a lot don't you?"
The question surprised Faith. Of course she cared about Bosco, but the only thing she was concerned about right now was making sure Bosco felt safe. It was her job to make sure he was going to be okay, and that included emotionally, too.
"Yes, he's my partner. We depend on each other." Faith sighed then looked Kristen directly in the eyes and continued. "I know that you have been seeing him for a little while, but I want to make it perfectly clear that right now what he needs is more important to me than what you need."
Kristen was silent for a second as she looked intently at Faith. She nodded at Faith and then dropped her eyes to the floor.
"I know I haven't known him for very long and I don't really know if he feels the same way but I care about Maurice more than you know." She paused and when she looked up again at Faith, she had tears in her eyes. "I give you my word right here and now that I won't do anything to hurt him. I just want to see him with my own eyes."
Faith studied Kristen for a few seconds. The woman that stood in front of her really didn't seem to be Bosco's normal choice, and Faith had noticed the little glimmer in his eyes yesterday when he had talked about her. The woman in front of her was strong and determined. Even though Faith had just met her she realized she already liked her. She did care about Bosco and at this moment that was all that mattered to Faith.
Faith prayed she wasn't making a mistake as she tilted her head toward the door and watched Kristen knock softly.
***************************
Bosco heard the knock and he was able to control the impulse to jump. He took a deep breath and leaned back into his pillow as he heard the door swoosh open.
"Bos, how you feeling?"
"Kristen?"
"You didn't think you were going to get out of out of our date that easily, did you?"
Bosco didn't say anything. He didn't want her to see him the way he was. He didn't think he could handle talking to Kristen right now. Where was Faith?
Ignoring her question he asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I found her in the hallway, she was worried about you," Faith said from beside him.
"So I guess I don't have to make any introductions then," Bosco mumbled.
"I got you a coke Bosco," Faith said. Bosco heard the coke can pop as she opened it and then he felt the cool can press into his hand. Bosco took the can from her and took a long shallow.
He felt nervous and for some reason even a little upset that Kristen had come. He didn't know what to say.
"Hey, I need to call Fred, so I'll just use the payphone in the hall. I'll be right back."
Faith patted his arm once. He listened to her turn and head toward the door. He also heard Kristen whisper thanks as Faith left. Great, he thought to himself, they were double-teaming him.
"You never answered my question. How do you feel?"
Bosco let out a deep breath. "I'm doing okay."
"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He felt himself getting angry and he wasn't sure why.
"Calm down, Bosco, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Bosco blew out a deep breath and cursed at himself. Why was he taking this out on her? How do I tell her that I might never see again? How do I tell her that the Maurice Boscorelli she met may not even exist anymore?
"Kristen, I'm … I don't know how to say this but I may never…."
She silenced him with a hand on his lips. "It's okay, I know." She kissed him softly, then whispered. "I'm not going to push you, I know that what you are going through right now must be really horrible for you. But, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you and that I'm not going to let you scare me away. You promised me a trip to the zoo and I plan to collect."
Bosco swallowed, he didn't know what to say. What did she want him to say? Too much had happened to him today, he was just too tired and confused to answer her.
"I'm going to go now, I just had to…" she broke off and Bosco heard her sniff.
Oh god, she's crying. Great job, I made her cry, get your shit together, Bosco and say something.
"Kristen, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you."
Kristen made a snorting sound and then he felt her hand on his cheek. "Funny, I just promised your partner the same thing. I guess we both failed, huh?"
"Yeah"
Before he could say anything else she had turned and walked toward the door. "Hey, I'll be here whenever you need me, but I'm not worried. You're in good hands."
Bosco listened to the door open, then close and realized he was once again alone in the room. He
cursed himself for not stopping her from leaving. He had wanted her to stay, he really had but he just didn't feel like making her stay.
What was happening to him? Was he giving up? He had promised Faith he wouldn't give up, had he failed again? He turned his head to the side and buried his face into his pillow. He lay there until the door opened again and he heard Faith's footsteps.
"Want to talk about it?"
He sighed and then shook his head. "Not really."
Faith sat down and put a hand on his shoulder. They sat there for a little while in silence. Then Bosco grunted and turned toward her.
"What time is it?"
The question must have surprised her because she didn't answer right away.
"Um…close to five thirty. Why?"
"Why don't you go home and see how Emily and Charlie are doing? I'm fine, I think I need some time by myself to sort some things out."
"Okay. If you're sure."
She sounded upset and Bosco silently cursed himself again. Great you upset two women in ten minutes; it must be some kind of record. Faith stood up, he could hear her getting stuff from the floor and then she took his hand, she was about to release it when he squeezed it firmly.
He cleared his throat and wished for the hundredth time to see her face.
"I don't know what I would have done today if you hadn't been with me. You saved me. Thank-you, Faith."
He heard her sniff then clear her throat. "Well, how about we call ourselves even then?"
Bosco smiled. She touched the back of her hand to his face briefly. Then she turned and left the room.
Bosco sighed heavily. He then realized how incredibly tired he was. He didn't understand why he was so tired, he hadn't done a thing today but was sleep and cry like a baby. As he drifted off to sleep the last thing that ran through his mind was that he agreed with Kristen. He was in very good hands.
He drifted peacefully in a world of silence, then without warning he began to hear voices. He recognized the voices. Faith, co-workers and people he had met. Some were more familiar than others but he wanted them all to go away. He thought that he had finally found somewhere where his fears and demons wouldn't reach him but he was wrong, they even invaded him here. Why
were they still bothering him?
Then he felt himself being pulled from his peaceful state. Memories of the past couple of days flooded back to him and he felt the pain and uncontrollable fear. Then a feeling of horrible dread about his future overwhelmed him. He forced the feeling away. He told himself that he needed to focus on today and not worry about what was going to happen to him tomorrow. Jeez, he was starting to sound like some damn touchy-feely therapist. Where had that come from?
Bosco let the sounds around him drift in slowly. He heard a TV with the sound turned down somewhere in front of him. He also heard footsteps and muffled voices from people in the hall. Then he heard something crinkling and then a wonderful smell he knew immediately as a steak sandwich. His stomach growled and then churned. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he ate anything, but he was starving.
He wasn't sure if he was ready to face Faith or not. The entire breakdown came back to him; he had been such an idiot, such a wimp. He had actually cried in her arms. She probably thinks I'm a world class loser.
He coughed and then regretted it because his head began to pound. His face stung and he felt pretty miserable and if he hadn't been so hungry he would have tried to force himself back to sleep.
He heard Faith chuckle. "I thought an Iggy's steak sandwich would bring you around."
"What?" he croaked, then groaned.
"Those drugs must be great. You've been out for almost five hours. They changed your bandages and you never felt it."
He raised his hand to the soft bandages still covering his eyes, then let his hand drop to his side. He had hoped all of his memories had been one huge bad dream.
"And lucky for you--not so much for me--you missed the half a dozen very impatient FBI guys and some top brass that came down to see you. But you were still playing sleeping beauty and they had to go away a little ticked after your night nurse showed up and kicked them out. Your nurse was scary. My advice to you is to behave yourself until you get out of here because I think she can take you."
Bosco tried to snort at that, but his attempt failed and he began to cough instead. He heard a chair squeak and felt Faith's hand touching his. She was holding a glass. He managed to take it from her. Without saying anything he sipped from it a couple times until his throat was no longer dry and scratchy. When he lowered it, she took it from him, and he mumbled thank-you.
This is what your life boils down to now, Bosco, you can't do anything for yourself so get use to it, he thought.
Faith broke the silence. "You hungry?"
Bosco couldn't stop the grin. "Are you kidding?"
"I thought you might enjoy some real food instead of what they left, so I had Sully pick up some steak sandwiches."
Faith pushed a sandwich into his hand and he took it, raised it to his mouth, and took a bite. It was the best thing he had ever tasted he thought to himself. He took several more bites, chewed slowly, and swallowed.
"How you feeling?"
He knew the question was coming. How could it not? He had broken down to a blubbering mess in front of her eyes, how could she not ask? What should he say?
"I'm fine." Give her the standard answer first, he told himself.
"Uh huh." Faith said. She wasn't stupid and he knew she wasn't going to fall for it but he had hoped that after what he had told her she would just drop it. Of course the reason she was asking in the first place was because of what he had told her.
"What do you want me to say, Faith? Do you want to know how pathetic and worthless I feel right now?" he snapped at her.
She didn't say anything, then he heard her turn and walk to the far side of the room. With that one
sentence he had done what he hadn't wanted to do: he had hurt her. He knew she was trying to decide what to say. He leaned back and decided to wait for her to answer him. She paced for a few seconds then returned to his side. He heard her sigh and then she sat down beside him on the bed.
"No, Bos, I don't want to hear how pathetic and worthless you feel right now. I can't tell you that
you have no right feeling the way you do and as much as I would love to be able to tell you that all of this is going to turn out okay, I can't do that either. But, I am not going to sit here and let you close yourself off in this horrible little nightmare again. I'm here for you, I'm your friend and that means I won't let you bullshit me anymore."
Bosco sighed and nodded his head toward her. He wanted to tell her he was lucky to have a friend like her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want to do anything to upset her again, instead he just bowed his head and told her. "I feel like crap, my head hurts and I'm not real thrilled about bawling like a baby. Happy?"
"Not really, how could I be?" Bosco felt Faith's hand settle on his knee. "I'm sorry you still feel bad, do you want me to find a nurse? Maybe she can give you something?"
"No, I don't want anything."
"Okay, maybe later." Faith was silent for a second then she sighed, " You really don't have anything to be ashamed of, you needed to get all of that out, I'm just glad I was here for you so you could."
"Faith, thank-you, You are… I just…" He didn't know what to say to her.
"It's okay, Bos, I know." Faith squeezed his knee.
Bosco smiled at her and wished more than anything that he could see her face right now. He had no doubt in his mind that she really did know exactly what he meant. He was relieved that he didn't have to fight for the words to tell her.
Faith cleared her throat and then asked. "You going to finish that greasy sandwich before it leaks all over the bed?"
"Hey, the grease is the best part!" he said defensively, then took the last couple of bites of his
sandwich. "What did you say about the FBI?" he asked suddenly, remembering her comment from before. He finished chewing the last of the soggy roll and began to lick his fingers
"Agent Wilkerson and some of his task force agents were here. They wanted to ask you about a dead FBI agent. Jeez, Bosco. You are a slob."
Faith pushed a napkin into his hand and he reluctantly used it to wipe his fingers of the greasy remains.
"What dead FBI agent?"
"They found one of their agents killed after we left for the hospital. I guess they want to ask you if you remember anything."
"I don't even remember the explosion, Faith, how am I supposed to remember some FBI agent?"
"I don't know."
He was about to ask why they wanted to know if he remembered anything when he heard a knock on the door and then the sound of it opening. Faith got up from the bed and he heard her grabbing the wrapper from the sandwich.
"Good Evening, Mr. Boscorelli. I'm Dr. Foster."
"Nice to meet you Doctor, I'm Faith Yokas. Bosco's my partner."
"Yes, yes, Dr. Zimmerman told me about you, I'm glad I was able to meet you. Dr. Zimmerman asked me to stop by and have a look at your eyes, Mr. Boscorelli. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure, okay." He tried to sound calm but his voice came out an octave higher and he winced at the freighted edge it seemed to give his voice.
The doctor chuckled and stepped forward. Faith was again at his side, took his hand, and squeezed it.
"Before I do anything, I want to make sure you understand a couple of things. First, I want you to
promise me that whatever happens with your sight when I remove your bandages, you won't let yourself get too worked up. You need to keep calm and listen to what I have to say, understand?"
Bosco nodded but felt his stomach clinch with panic. Why did he sound like he didn't expect good news?
"Please just get on with it."
"Very well, Ms. Yokas, will you turn that overhead light off?"
Faith let go of his hand for a second, then grabbed it again. Bosco took a deep breath and tried to remember the yoga breathing exercises he had been taught to try and calm himself. It really wasn't working. He felt the gauze that had been wrapped around his head loosen and then it fell from his face. He tried not to flinch.
"How you doing?" Dr. Foster asked.
"I'm okay," he answered in a shaky voice. Yeah, that sounded really convincing he told himself.
"What I want you to do now is close your eyes until I tell you to open them, let me just get these eye bandages off. It looks like someone made sure these things weren't going anywhere."
Bosco felt the pressure on his eyelids lift and he fought to keep his eyes shut as the doctor had told him. He felt the doctor pressing gently on his cheeks and then under each eye.
"Looks like the anti-inflammatory medication is working, there is some swelling but it doesn't look too bad. These burns look like they should heal nicely too."
"Is he going to have any scars?" Faith asked.
"That's hard to say, but I don't think he will have to worry about any of these. The ones further over near his ear may scar some, but once it heals I don't think any of them are going to be very noticeable. And if they are he can always come in and have some grafts done to smooth them out."
Bosco was about to tell them that he was not going to have some stupid face lift when he felt Faith's grip on his hand tighten.
"Mr. Boscorelli, I want you to open your eyes slowly and blink a couple of times for me."
He took a deep breath and did as he was told. He opened his eyes; it was a little more difficult than he thought. They were sore and as soon as he got them open they began to water. But he blinked three times and saw nothing but black.
**************************************
Faith watched as Bosco slowly opened his eyes and blinked. He blinked again, then she watched as disappointment flooded his face. He dropped his head and sighed loudly.
"Nothing."
Faith fought back tears and looked up into the kind face of Dr. Foster. He was smiling, trying to reassure her, but she couldn't help notice that he looked a little disappointed, too.
"Mr. Boscorelli, I told you that you should try not to get to disappointed. It has only been a little over twenty-four hours since the accident, you have to be patient and give your eyes a chance to heal. Now if you can raise your head, I want to get a good look."
Faith watched Bosco raise his head and surrender himself over to the doctor. Faith watched as his jaw twitched and she could tell that he was barely keeping himself under control. Dr. Foster looked in both his eyes and then reached in his pocket for a bottle of eye drops.
"Okay, I'm just going to put a few drops in your eyes so I can get a better look. Still doing okay?" Bosco didn't say anything, he just nodded stiffly. Dr. Foster carefully tilted Bosco's head back and squeezed a few drops into his eyes.
When the doctor lowered his hand from Bosco's face, Faith got her first real good look at her partner's unbandaged face. Small blisters were forming on the right side of his face close to his ear and a little higher near his scalp. But what really disturbed Faith were his eyes. Bosco's empty eyes just looked out at her; they were blank and looked almost foreign to her. The little mischievous twinkle that was Bosco was gone.
Faith watched Dr. Foster finish his examination and then look up at her. He still had the small reassuring smile on his face. He reached into another pocket and came out with cream and more bandages then he turned to Bosco.
"I know you are upset that you still can't see, but your eyes seem to be healing nicely. I don't see any signs of infection, which is one of our main concerns in a case like yours. I have the results from the tests Dr. Zimmerman performed last night and I can see some improvement."
Faith heard Bosco let out a shuddering breath and he squeezed Faith's hand for the first time. She smiled at him without thinking, then returned the squeeze as Dr. Foster continued to talk.
"Does that mean I'm going to be able to see again?"
Faith saw Dr. Foster's smile waver. Oh god no. Please don't tell him that he is going to be blind forever. Faith knew that no matter what he had promised her before he wouldn't be able to stand living the rest of his life as a blind man.
"I see you get right to the point, Mr. Boscorelli."
"I'm a cop, Doc, I need to get right to the point, and you're stalling."
Dr. Foster's smile finally faded from his face. It had only been for her behalf anyway and Bosco had forced him to concentrate on the one question that the doctor probably didn't have an answer for.
"I can't tell you anything for sure. Everything looks like it's healing the way it supposed to heal. So right now all that I can tell you is that when we are dealing with this type of injury there really is no way to be absolutely positive about the final outcome. What you need is time. I know that isn't what you want to hear but that's the only answer I have for you." Dr. Foster finished and then glanced at her. "Just give it some more time, don't give up until there is a reason to."
Bosco nodded and then cleared his throat. "Okay, but patience is one thing that I don't have a whole lot of, ask Faith she'll tell you." He was trying to lighten up the mood and she thought it was sweet of him to try.
She felt the tears brimming in her eyes as she laughed. "That's right, partner, you and patience have never met."
Dr. Foster applied some cream under Bosco's eyes and then placed the bandages back on his eyes and wrapped the gauze around his head until it was secure.
"Now I want you to get some rest, I'm going to run some blood work and look for anything abnormal and tomorrow morning you are going to have another CAT Scan to make sure everything is still normal."
"When can I get out of here?"
Faith saw Dr. Foster shake his head slightly.
"We really would like to keep you here until we see more improvement."
"Why? It's not like I need to be here."
Faith knew Bosco hated staying in the hospital. The couple times that he had been forced to stay he had been bored and upset. She knew without the distraction of being able to watch TV, he was going to be just plain miserable the longer he was forced to stay.
"Okay, how about we take this one step at a time? If we release you, and I stress the word 'if,' Mr. Boscorelli, you will need to go home with someone that will be able to provide you with assistance and be able to provide you with home care."
"I don't need anyone to take care of me," he said stubbornly.
"Yes, you do, at least for a little while until your eyes heal completely and we are able to judge if the damage was permanent or not. Now I'll check back on you later."
Dr. Foster shook her hand and then turned and left the room.
Bosco groaned and dropped his head back onto his pillow. He pulled his hand from hers and rubbed the back of his head. Faith used both hands to wipe the moisture from her eyes. She took a couple of steps away from him and sunk into the chair that she had pulled up to the side of his bed earlier that day.
"Hey, he told you to give it a little time. This isn't going to be permanent. You got to believe that."
"I'm trying Faith, I'm trying," he said softly.
He already sounded defeated.
"Bos, it's going to be okay," she tried again.
He sighed loudly and dropped his hand back to the bed beside him.
"Can you go get me something for my headache?"
He was asking her to leave; she bit her bottom lip and answered him. "Sure, Bosco. I'll be right back."
She leaned over and patted his arm, then turned and fled the room. She didn't stop until she reached the bathroom around the corner from his room. She went straight to the sink and turned on the tap. She cupped some water and splashed it onto her face. When she looked up into the mirror in front of her, she was startled at the reflection that stared back. She was pale and looked very tired. Her eyes were red and her hair was a mess.
She tore off a paper towel and ran in under the water. As she patted her face with the cool cloth, she drug her fingers through her hair briefly. She decided it was a lost cause and turned and left the bathroom.
She went to the Nurse's Station to ask the nurse to bring Bosco an aspirin, then headed back toward Bosco's room. As she got closer to the door, she felt herself slow down. She didn't want to rush back in that room; he was still embarrassed by his breakdown earlier and if he wanted time alone, he deserved to get it.
Faith turned back toward the Coke machine and got one for her and Bosco. She glanced at the clock over the machine and saw that it was almost five. She closed her eyes and then headed back toward Bosco's room, wondering what Emily and Charlie were doing.
When she got close to the room, she saw a short brunette standing next to Bosco's door. She looked like she was trying to decide to knock or not.
"Can I help you?"
The woman jumped, then turned quickly to look at Faith. The first thing Faith noticed was that she was pretty. Not the glamorous type of pretty but natural pretty, she had vivid green eyes and Faith noticed that they were a little red and sad.
"You must be Faith."
Faith was confused and her face must have shown that because the woman smiled and then put out her hand.
"I'm Kristen, Bosco has told me so much about you…and from the look on your face, he hasn't even mentioned me, right?"
Faith stared at her a second longer. This was Kristen? She had just found out about her yesterday and now they were face to face. Faith pushed that thought out of her head and grabbed Kristen's outstretched hand.
"Actually, he was going on and on about you yesterday before…"
Faith stopped when she saw an odd expression cross Kristen's face. Kristen nodded at her, then let go of Faith's hand and rubbed her hands together nervously.
"I heard about it on the news last night. I called, but I could never get through, then when I called
again this morning I didn't really think they would tell me anything because I'm not family. But I have a friend who works here and she couldn't get any information either. The news this morning said he was doing better though, so I decided to take a chance and come down."
"They usually don't give out any information about police officers to the public. It's just some kind of precaution. Although how the reporters know as much as they do, I have no clue."
Kristen nodded then asked. "Is he awake?"
Faith didn't think Bosco was in that great of a mood. Did he even want to see her? Should she tell her to leave? Faith decided that maybe Kristen was just the person he needed, someone that would hopefully be comforting.
"Yes, but let me warn you he can't see. His eyes were burned and the doctor can't tell us if it's permanent or not. The doctor just looked at them, the news wasn't good and Bosco is still pretty upset."
Faith watched Kristen process the information. She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them Faith saw determination.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to upset him, honest. I just need to see him for myself." Kristen was silent for a minute. Then she gave Faith a serious look and asked, "You care about him a lot don't you?"
The question surprised Faith. Of course she cared about Bosco, but the only thing she was concerned about right now was making sure Bosco felt safe. It was her job to make sure he was going to be okay, and that included emotionally, too.
"Yes, he's my partner. We depend on each other." Faith sighed then looked Kristen directly in the eyes and continued. "I know that you have been seeing him for a little while, but I want to make it perfectly clear that right now what he needs is more important to me than what you need."
Kristen was silent for a second as she looked intently at Faith. She nodded at Faith and then dropped her eyes to the floor.
"I know I haven't known him for very long and I don't really know if he feels the same way but I care about Maurice more than you know." She paused and when she looked up again at Faith, she had tears in her eyes. "I give you my word right here and now that I won't do anything to hurt him. I just want to see him with my own eyes."
Faith studied Kristen for a few seconds. The woman that stood in front of her really didn't seem to be Bosco's normal choice, and Faith had noticed the little glimmer in his eyes yesterday when he had talked about her. The woman in front of her was strong and determined. Even though Faith had just met her she realized she already liked her. She did care about Bosco and at this moment that was all that mattered to Faith.
Faith prayed she wasn't making a mistake as she tilted her head toward the door and watched Kristen knock softly.
***************************
Bosco heard the knock and he was able to control the impulse to jump. He took a deep breath and leaned back into his pillow as he heard the door swoosh open.
"Bos, how you feeling?"
"Kristen?"
"You didn't think you were going to get out of out of our date that easily, did you?"
Bosco didn't say anything. He didn't want her to see him the way he was. He didn't think he could handle talking to Kristen right now. Where was Faith?
Ignoring her question he asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I found her in the hallway, she was worried about you," Faith said from beside him.
"So I guess I don't have to make any introductions then," Bosco mumbled.
"I got you a coke Bosco," Faith said. Bosco heard the coke can pop as she opened it and then he felt the cool can press into his hand. Bosco took the can from her and took a long shallow.
He felt nervous and for some reason even a little upset that Kristen had come. He didn't know what to say.
"Hey, I need to call Fred, so I'll just use the payphone in the hall. I'll be right back."
Faith patted his arm once. He listened to her turn and head toward the door. He also heard Kristen whisper thanks as Faith left. Great, he thought to himself, they were double-teaming him.
"You never answered my question. How do you feel?"
Bosco let out a deep breath. "I'm doing okay."
"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He felt himself getting angry and he wasn't sure why.
"Calm down, Bosco, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Bosco blew out a deep breath and cursed at himself. Why was he taking this out on her? How do I tell her that I might never see again? How do I tell her that the Maurice Boscorelli she met may not even exist anymore?
"Kristen, I'm … I don't know how to say this but I may never…."
She silenced him with a hand on his lips. "It's okay, I know." She kissed him softly, then whispered. "I'm not going to push you, I know that what you are going through right now must be really horrible for you. But, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you and that I'm not going to let you scare me away. You promised me a trip to the zoo and I plan to collect."
Bosco swallowed, he didn't know what to say. What did she want him to say? Too much had happened to him today, he was just too tired and confused to answer her.
"I'm going to go now, I just had to…" she broke off and Bosco heard her sniff.
Oh god, she's crying. Great job, I made her cry, get your shit together, Bosco and say something.
"Kristen, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you."
Kristen made a snorting sound and then he felt her hand on his cheek. "Funny, I just promised your partner the same thing. I guess we both failed, huh?"
"Yeah"
Before he could say anything else she had turned and walked toward the door. "Hey, I'll be here whenever you need me, but I'm not worried. You're in good hands."
Bosco listened to the door open, then close and realized he was once again alone in the room. He
cursed himself for not stopping her from leaving. He had wanted her to stay, he really had but he just didn't feel like making her stay.
What was happening to him? Was he giving up? He had promised Faith he wouldn't give up, had he failed again? He turned his head to the side and buried his face into his pillow. He lay there until the door opened again and he heard Faith's footsteps.
"Want to talk about it?"
He sighed and then shook his head. "Not really."
Faith sat down and put a hand on his shoulder. They sat there for a little while in silence. Then Bosco grunted and turned toward her.
"What time is it?"
The question must have surprised her because she didn't answer right away.
"Um…close to five thirty. Why?"
"Why don't you go home and see how Emily and Charlie are doing? I'm fine, I think I need some time by myself to sort some things out."
"Okay. If you're sure."
She sounded upset and Bosco silently cursed himself again. Great you upset two women in ten minutes; it must be some kind of record. Faith stood up, he could hear her getting stuff from the floor and then she took his hand, she was about to release it when he squeezed it firmly.
He cleared his throat and wished for the hundredth time to see her face.
"I don't know what I would have done today if you hadn't been with me. You saved me. Thank-you, Faith."
He heard her sniff then clear her throat. "Well, how about we call ourselves even then?"
Bosco smiled. She touched the back of her hand to his face briefly. Then she turned and left the room.
Bosco sighed heavily. He then realized how incredibly tired he was. He didn't understand why he was so tired, he hadn't done a thing today but was sleep and cry like a baby. As he drifted off to sleep the last thing that ran through his mind was that he agreed with Kristen. He was in very good hands.