Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the quotes used.
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A/N: Okay. This has been sitting around for ages and I figured that I might as well as put it up for people to read. It's just something that I think might've been going through Buffy's head when she sent Angel to hell in season two.
This is my first EVER FanFic so *small voice* be gentle. If you review, I'll be your friend forever…
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I've put this up before but it looked a bit messy. This is the cleaned up version.
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When Angels Fall
Looking into his eyes she saw his soul. Returning to him, returning to her. Memories flashed before her eyes- their first meeting, there first kiss, the reason why he lost his soul, why she was there now.
'How can you give your heart if you can't give your soul?' the lines came in to her head.
She lowered her sword. She knew the answer- he did it once. He can't ever do it again.
Behind him the portal shimmered and grew.
In the silence he spoke "What's happening Buffy?"
More words filled her head- unbidden, unwanted:
'A hero is someone who does what must be done and needs no other reason.'
"Sh….." she stares at his face- the one she loves, the one she'll always love.
Was she a hero?
"It doesn't matter" the sword was heavy in her hand like the weight of her heart and the world combined.
His own voice echoed in her head:
"There's forever and forever..…" She knew her love would last longer than that.
"I love you" she whispers near to tears.
"I love you" he replies trustingly.
She takes one last look at his face "close your eyes."
"Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments…"
She kisses him deeply.
"No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what, are we helpless? Puppets?"
Taking a step away, she holds the sword in both hands.
"No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterward that counts. That's what you find out who you are…"
Tears stream silently down her face as she suddenly plunges the sword through his unprotected chest.
Her love killed him and now she had to do it again.…
"You don't love me anymore? Is that it..."
Her head filled with silent screams.
"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I feel…"
"Then tell me you don't love me. Say it!..."
"…a person doesn't just wake up one day and stop loving somebody. Love is forever…"
He opens his eyes in shock, in agony.
Helplessly she stares as he whispers her name, holds out his hand…..
"In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you got…"
In the blink of an eye he was gone.
Standing alone- her heart and soul gone…..
Buffy wept.