Chapter 2-"Hurt"
Tooya reached out to the letter with an unstable heart; he knew if he opened it, he would only read the words, "sayonara." Tooya also knew that if he did not open the letter, Aya's reasons would remain unknown and that would hurt him more. With a shivering hand, he opened the letter.
"Dear Tooya,
I'm very sorry for not telling you sooner the reason of my departure. You may not remember it because I drugged you. I told you the night before Miku's birthday that I would leave. That is true.
Don't misunderstand me. I only did it to protect you from Tomo, my cousin. He called me a few days before Miku's birthday and said that I should meet with him at once. Do you remember the time when I told you I was going to the market? I lied. I went to a place nearby and talked with him. He told me that I should leave my family at once or else my other relatives would kill our children. I didn't understand it at first but he said that Miku, still being my child could inherit Ceres' powers. It was a mistake to listen to him, but I did.
I'll be back in a few months. If I come back with lost memories and try to kill Miku or Aki, please, call Ceres. I don't know what will happen but if that's the case, please do as I wish. Ceres will appear as Miku and Shiso as well will appear. Please forgive me for my unwise decision. I'll return home when all of this has ended once more. Take care of our children, Tooya.
Love,
Aya."
Tears strolled down Tooya's cheeks as he closed the letter. He wiped off the tears that fell but new ones quickly replaced them. How could I be so dense? I didn't notice it. It was very obvious that she was intending to leave through her actions! Tooya blamed himself. Damn! She made me cry again! So this is how Aya felt when I kept pushing her away. I didn't know how it was to be hurt because I was lonely, but since we met, I wanted to be one with her. Her eyes, her lips, her entire body and soul called me but I kept ignoring it. This is how you felt, huh? I don't even know what you found in me. Why did you have to go through all of this when you had Yuuhi by your side?
Miku opened her eyes and saw the silver paintings come down from the ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and realized that it was just a hallucination. Miku reached out for her watch on the night table. Instead of finding a watch, she found a newly made sweater. Her eyes widened in extreme happiness but she quickly took back that smile when she saw a small note.
"I hope you like it," the letter said. "I wish to see you in that sweater until we next meet. Love, mama."
"Mama is so dramatic! As if she'll leave us! Impossible!" Miku roared waking up Aki.
Aki started to cry. He pounded the table until his hands were sore.
Tooya, still crying, was only in the next room; he ran to his children's room to find Aki with his sore hands and Miku lying motionless on the floor as tears started to roll down her cheeks. "What's happening, oto-san?" Aki asked with a confused face. "Mama woke me up early to day and said good-bye. Why isn't she home yet? Did she go to the market? Why didn't she take us with her? Doesn't Mama want to be with us anymore?" Aki argued. "Please tell me, oto-san!" Aki shouted stomping on the floor.
Tooya embraced his two children and cried once more. "Your mother, your mother won't be coming back anymore. She left us to protect us from her relatives." Miku closed her eyes. Her last teardrop fell on the cross necklace Aya gave Tooya.
Aya walked through the streets with all her belongings. She rode the bullet train to Morioka where her cousin would fetch her. So stupid, she thought. I should've brought a bigger bag!
As the train doors opened at Morioka station, a man helped her carry out her belongings. "Arigatou." Two men approached her as she walked out of the door.
"Mikage Aya-san?" Asked one of the men.
"Hai. Where is Tomo?"
One of the men lifted her bags while the other spoke. "Tomo-san will be meeting you in your new home."
One man gently grabbed her arm and said, "Please, come now before anybody sees us."
"I'm not going anywhere until I see that bastard Tomo!" Aya shouted while forcefully removing the man's hand on her arm.
A man wearing a black cloak came towards Aya. He removed his dark glasses and Aya immediately recognized him. His hair was light brown and his eyes were purple. The same deep scar on his left cheek can be seen. Aya mistook him as Aki when they first met. The man was...
"Nice of you to come, Aya-chan." He said.
The bodyguards tried to restrain Aya to no avail. She forcefully kicked them as if she didn't have a child on her abdomen. "Good thing you came here, Tomo-chan! If you didn't arrive, I would've taken the train right back to my family! What is it that you want?"
Tomo gave a short sneer. "What I want," he asked. "I want you to leave your family otherwise your husband and three children will be killed!"
"How did you know about all that? The last time we met was when I was 6 years old! Weren't your family in America?"
He violently grabbed her neck. "Now listen here, I am doing this for your own good! If you want this to finally end," he continued as Aya was trying to let loose of Tomo's grip on her neck. "Just shut the f-ck up, b-tch! If you want your children to die, then go ahead! Go back to them!"
Tomo, using his other hand, handed a bottle to one of his men and drank some of it. He leaned towards Aya who was withdrawn. He kissed her and gave her the drug that he supposedly drank. Aya fell unconscious on the floor with the silver ring still on her right ring finger.
Thumping, Yuuhi hurriedly answered the phone. "Moshi-moshi. Aogiri residence. Who's calling?"
"Yuuhi!" Tooya said on the other line.
"Tooya? Why did you call? We were together only yesterday."
"Aya left. I don't know why. All she said that if she didn't leave, someone would kill Miku and Aki."
Tasting his new dish, he accidentally vomited the entire meal he just ate. "Nani? Aya left?! Darn it! I knew something bad would happen. I'll call onee-chan and Q-san!"
"Hai. Yuuhi, thanks for your concern."
Yuuhi blushed on the other side of the conversation. "Iie. No problem! Sayonara!" He dropped the phone and cleaned up the food that fell. "You're always wrong timing, Tooya!"
He glanced at the cross. The broken chain reminded Tooya of days when he forgot Aya. "Hurts so much, doesn't it? You deserve it! In the first place, your not even human, Tooya," said a voice inside Tooya's mind.
Tooya covered his eyes and ears and started shouting. "Who the hell are you? Shut up!"
"Who am I?" The icy voice repeated. "Well, I'm just Aya. I am the opposite of the Aya you fell in love with."
"What do you want with me?" Tooya asked. As he opened his eyes, a blurred imaged appeared before him, the image of-"Aya?"
"Tooya..." she grinned. "I am not who you think I am. Aya is I and I am Aya. You've never known me because Aya hid me from you. I've seen you by Aya's side and how you made her cry countless times."
Frustrated, Tooya sat down on the couch and drank the lemonade he prepared. He folded his sleeves and saw the scar of his sword. He carefully examined it and then a blinding light passed through it and made Tooya feel hell.
"Have enough?" asked the other Aya. She gave a nasty smirk and showed Tooya a broken piece of glass with blood in her hand. Tooya was still in pain, holding his wrist.
"Why don't you just kill me? If it would make you feel better, why don't you?"
"If I do that, the Aya you know won't be able to take it and kill the both of us. It hurts, doesn't it? You feel the pain, right? Whatever happens, you're still human. Because you're alive, the past will repeat itself on you and Aya and your children. During the hours of darkness of your seventh year as a being, the broken pieces of you past will take shape. The shadows are you light, and the imperceptible is your darkness. Be wary of the things that appear real, for they are deceptions which, will be your downfall."
"You were the one who said those words to me?" he asked with a dazed look on his face. "Why?"
"I gave you a warning. I am the darkness and the real Aya is the imperceptible. Take my counsel and depart this dwelling with your children. Certainly, Aya will come back but when she does, you shall be the only one who will be able to protect your child with what you originally had."
Tooya searched into Aya's eyes and saw her compassion for him. He knew that even if this was not the real Aya, she still loved him, deep down in her heart. He also knew that the Aya he now faced was afraid to be hurt and so he remained still. Deceptions, huh, he thought. "I made you cry so many times, even I wouldn't be able to count it. But still, why did you love me?"
Aya raised her head and closed her eyes. "I don't know... All I know is that when I met you, I knew that we were fated to be with each other. I hated it but Aya honestly loved you, I couldn't do anything about it for she controls this body, not me."
"I see... Why are you here? If you want me to suffer, why say this to me?"
"Somewhere inside of me, I needed to tell you. I wanted you to suffer because you made me cry so many times!" Aya then began to shed her tears.
"You shouldn't cry, Aya." Tooya caressed Aya's face. "I promised you, didn't I? I promised you that I'll never make you cry, but everything I seem to do makes you shed a tear."
Aya smiled. "I'm pregnant, Tooya. Suzumi told me so..."
Tooya held out his hand to Aya's abdomen. "Our third child..."
Aya nodded and then cuts Tooya's arm once again with an evil smile. "Why do you keep on cutting me?!"
"I don't know! Its as if I'm forced to do this because I am Aya's darkness..."
Miku, who was trying to wear her jumper, entered the living room. Miku looked confused. She at his father and then back to the empty space he was talking to. "Oto-san," Miku disturbed.
"Miku?"
"Who are you talking to, oto-san?"
"Only you can see me. If you need to talk to Aya, just call out my name and I will be by your side as soon as possible. Promise me that you'll never take off my heart."
He bowed down and looked at his daughter. "You remind me of your mother, Miku. If she was only here, she would've been happy seeing me talk to the air."
The day passed without Suzumi and the others calling. Miku, Aki, and especially Tooya felt deserted. During the night, they all slept in Aya and Tooya's bed. As he sung Aki to sleep and tried to close his eyes, a gust of cold air entered his nostrils. The cold air made Tooya reminisce on the days he could have spent with Aya. He learned more that what those simple times meant to him. Looking back at all they've experienced, Aya suffered more than he had. "Sorry, Aya."
He stood up and went out of the room silently and called out Aya's name. He had no reply. Tooya went down the staircase and opened the lights of their kitchen. He looked around and walked faster and faster. Tooya held out his hand and took a knife. He observed it for a moment and afterwards, he positioned the sharper end a few inches above his wrist. "I cannot live without you, Aya. I won't allow us to be parted anymore..."
Tooya moved the knife closer and closer until---- Blood spurted out of his wrist. The blood did not stop as well as Tooya's breathing. He grabbed for his heart but still it did not stop.
A flashing red light surrounded Tooya. An embrace from the back filled his entire body with warmth. "Who's holding me like this?" He asked himself. "Only one person can give warmth to my body like this..."
He opened his eyes and found Aya embracing him with a smile. Warm colors filled the empty spaces... Tooya felt that he was in heaven. He leaned closer to Aya as he tried to kiss her. "Come back... Aya..." he said.
"Don't die just because of me... I don't want our children to loose their father at a very young age... Tooya... you deserve more than this. I'll give you..." A glowing light appeared in Aya's hands as she touched Tooya. She handed him a sword... "Use it... I give you your powers back, for now and forever. I love you Tooya. Don't think that you made me cry... I cried because I loved you... I'll never forget you, even if I was born again."
"Tooya! Tooya!" A hazy voice said. "Tooya!"
"Ceres?" Tooya asked holding his sword.
"Tooya, Aya's been... Aya's dead!"
Tooya reached out to the letter with an unstable heart; he knew if he opened it, he would only read the words, "sayonara." Tooya also knew that if he did not open the letter, Aya's reasons would remain unknown and that would hurt him more. With a shivering hand, he opened the letter.
"Dear Tooya,
I'm very sorry for not telling you sooner the reason of my departure. You may not remember it because I drugged you. I told you the night before Miku's birthday that I would leave. That is true.
Don't misunderstand me. I only did it to protect you from Tomo, my cousin. He called me a few days before Miku's birthday and said that I should meet with him at once. Do you remember the time when I told you I was going to the market? I lied. I went to a place nearby and talked with him. He told me that I should leave my family at once or else my other relatives would kill our children. I didn't understand it at first but he said that Miku, still being my child could inherit Ceres' powers. It was a mistake to listen to him, but I did.
I'll be back in a few months. If I come back with lost memories and try to kill Miku or Aki, please, call Ceres. I don't know what will happen but if that's the case, please do as I wish. Ceres will appear as Miku and Shiso as well will appear. Please forgive me for my unwise decision. I'll return home when all of this has ended once more. Take care of our children, Tooya.
Love,
Aya."
Tears strolled down Tooya's cheeks as he closed the letter. He wiped off the tears that fell but new ones quickly replaced them. How could I be so dense? I didn't notice it. It was very obvious that she was intending to leave through her actions! Tooya blamed himself. Damn! She made me cry again! So this is how Aya felt when I kept pushing her away. I didn't know how it was to be hurt because I was lonely, but since we met, I wanted to be one with her. Her eyes, her lips, her entire body and soul called me but I kept ignoring it. This is how you felt, huh? I don't even know what you found in me. Why did you have to go through all of this when you had Yuuhi by your side?
Miku opened her eyes and saw the silver paintings come down from the ceiling. She rubbed her eyes and realized that it was just a hallucination. Miku reached out for her watch on the night table. Instead of finding a watch, she found a newly made sweater. Her eyes widened in extreme happiness but she quickly took back that smile when she saw a small note.
"I hope you like it," the letter said. "I wish to see you in that sweater until we next meet. Love, mama."
"Mama is so dramatic! As if she'll leave us! Impossible!" Miku roared waking up Aki.
Aki started to cry. He pounded the table until his hands were sore.
Tooya, still crying, was only in the next room; he ran to his children's room to find Aki with his sore hands and Miku lying motionless on the floor as tears started to roll down her cheeks. "What's happening, oto-san?" Aki asked with a confused face. "Mama woke me up early to day and said good-bye. Why isn't she home yet? Did she go to the market? Why didn't she take us with her? Doesn't Mama want to be with us anymore?" Aki argued. "Please tell me, oto-san!" Aki shouted stomping on the floor.
Tooya embraced his two children and cried once more. "Your mother, your mother won't be coming back anymore. She left us to protect us from her relatives." Miku closed her eyes. Her last teardrop fell on the cross necklace Aya gave Tooya.
Aya walked through the streets with all her belongings. She rode the bullet train to Morioka where her cousin would fetch her. So stupid, she thought. I should've brought a bigger bag!
As the train doors opened at Morioka station, a man helped her carry out her belongings. "Arigatou." Two men approached her as she walked out of the door.
"Mikage Aya-san?" Asked one of the men.
"Hai. Where is Tomo?"
One of the men lifted her bags while the other spoke. "Tomo-san will be meeting you in your new home."
One man gently grabbed her arm and said, "Please, come now before anybody sees us."
"I'm not going anywhere until I see that bastard Tomo!" Aya shouted while forcefully removing the man's hand on her arm.
A man wearing a black cloak came towards Aya. He removed his dark glasses and Aya immediately recognized him. His hair was light brown and his eyes were purple. The same deep scar on his left cheek can be seen. Aya mistook him as Aki when they first met. The man was...
"Nice of you to come, Aya-chan." He said.
The bodyguards tried to restrain Aya to no avail. She forcefully kicked them as if she didn't have a child on her abdomen. "Good thing you came here, Tomo-chan! If you didn't arrive, I would've taken the train right back to my family! What is it that you want?"
Tomo gave a short sneer. "What I want," he asked. "I want you to leave your family otherwise your husband and three children will be killed!"
"How did you know about all that? The last time we met was when I was 6 years old! Weren't your family in America?"
He violently grabbed her neck. "Now listen here, I am doing this for your own good! If you want this to finally end," he continued as Aya was trying to let loose of Tomo's grip on her neck. "Just shut the f-ck up, b-tch! If you want your children to die, then go ahead! Go back to them!"
Tomo, using his other hand, handed a bottle to one of his men and drank some of it. He leaned towards Aya who was withdrawn. He kissed her and gave her the drug that he supposedly drank. Aya fell unconscious on the floor with the silver ring still on her right ring finger.
Thumping, Yuuhi hurriedly answered the phone. "Moshi-moshi. Aogiri residence. Who's calling?"
"Yuuhi!" Tooya said on the other line.
"Tooya? Why did you call? We were together only yesterday."
"Aya left. I don't know why. All she said that if she didn't leave, someone would kill Miku and Aki."
Tasting his new dish, he accidentally vomited the entire meal he just ate. "Nani? Aya left?! Darn it! I knew something bad would happen. I'll call onee-chan and Q-san!"
"Hai. Yuuhi, thanks for your concern."
Yuuhi blushed on the other side of the conversation. "Iie. No problem! Sayonara!" He dropped the phone and cleaned up the food that fell. "You're always wrong timing, Tooya!"
He glanced at the cross. The broken chain reminded Tooya of days when he forgot Aya. "Hurts so much, doesn't it? You deserve it! In the first place, your not even human, Tooya," said a voice inside Tooya's mind.
Tooya covered his eyes and ears and started shouting. "Who the hell are you? Shut up!"
"Who am I?" The icy voice repeated. "Well, I'm just Aya. I am the opposite of the Aya you fell in love with."
"What do you want with me?" Tooya asked. As he opened his eyes, a blurred imaged appeared before him, the image of-"Aya?"
"Tooya..." she grinned. "I am not who you think I am. Aya is I and I am Aya. You've never known me because Aya hid me from you. I've seen you by Aya's side and how you made her cry countless times."
Frustrated, Tooya sat down on the couch and drank the lemonade he prepared. He folded his sleeves and saw the scar of his sword. He carefully examined it and then a blinding light passed through it and made Tooya feel hell.
"Have enough?" asked the other Aya. She gave a nasty smirk and showed Tooya a broken piece of glass with blood in her hand. Tooya was still in pain, holding his wrist.
"Why don't you just kill me? If it would make you feel better, why don't you?"
"If I do that, the Aya you know won't be able to take it and kill the both of us. It hurts, doesn't it? You feel the pain, right? Whatever happens, you're still human. Because you're alive, the past will repeat itself on you and Aya and your children. During the hours of darkness of your seventh year as a being, the broken pieces of you past will take shape. The shadows are you light, and the imperceptible is your darkness. Be wary of the things that appear real, for they are deceptions which, will be your downfall."
"You were the one who said those words to me?" he asked with a dazed look on his face. "Why?"
"I gave you a warning. I am the darkness and the real Aya is the imperceptible. Take my counsel and depart this dwelling with your children. Certainly, Aya will come back but when she does, you shall be the only one who will be able to protect your child with what you originally had."
Tooya searched into Aya's eyes and saw her compassion for him. He knew that even if this was not the real Aya, she still loved him, deep down in her heart. He also knew that the Aya he now faced was afraid to be hurt and so he remained still. Deceptions, huh, he thought. "I made you cry so many times, even I wouldn't be able to count it. But still, why did you love me?"
Aya raised her head and closed her eyes. "I don't know... All I know is that when I met you, I knew that we were fated to be with each other. I hated it but Aya honestly loved you, I couldn't do anything about it for she controls this body, not me."
"I see... Why are you here? If you want me to suffer, why say this to me?"
"Somewhere inside of me, I needed to tell you. I wanted you to suffer because you made me cry so many times!" Aya then began to shed her tears.
"You shouldn't cry, Aya." Tooya caressed Aya's face. "I promised you, didn't I? I promised you that I'll never make you cry, but everything I seem to do makes you shed a tear."
Aya smiled. "I'm pregnant, Tooya. Suzumi told me so..."
Tooya held out his hand to Aya's abdomen. "Our third child..."
Aya nodded and then cuts Tooya's arm once again with an evil smile. "Why do you keep on cutting me?!"
"I don't know! Its as if I'm forced to do this because I am Aya's darkness..."
Miku, who was trying to wear her jumper, entered the living room. Miku looked confused. She at his father and then back to the empty space he was talking to. "Oto-san," Miku disturbed.
"Miku?"
"Who are you talking to, oto-san?"
"Only you can see me. If you need to talk to Aya, just call out my name and I will be by your side as soon as possible. Promise me that you'll never take off my heart."
He bowed down and looked at his daughter. "You remind me of your mother, Miku. If she was only here, she would've been happy seeing me talk to the air."
The day passed without Suzumi and the others calling. Miku, Aki, and especially Tooya felt deserted. During the night, they all slept in Aya and Tooya's bed. As he sung Aki to sleep and tried to close his eyes, a gust of cold air entered his nostrils. The cold air made Tooya reminisce on the days he could have spent with Aya. He learned more that what those simple times meant to him. Looking back at all they've experienced, Aya suffered more than he had. "Sorry, Aya."
He stood up and went out of the room silently and called out Aya's name. He had no reply. Tooya went down the staircase and opened the lights of their kitchen. He looked around and walked faster and faster. Tooya held out his hand and took a knife. He observed it for a moment and afterwards, he positioned the sharper end a few inches above his wrist. "I cannot live without you, Aya. I won't allow us to be parted anymore..."
Tooya moved the knife closer and closer until---- Blood spurted out of his wrist. The blood did not stop as well as Tooya's breathing. He grabbed for his heart but still it did not stop.
A flashing red light surrounded Tooya. An embrace from the back filled his entire body with warmth. "Who's holding me like this?" He asked himself. "Only one person can give warmth to my body like this..."
He opened his eyes and found Aya embracing him with a smile. Warm colors filled the empty spaces... Tooya felt that he was in heaven. He leaned closer to Aya as he tried to kiss her. "Come back... Aya..." he said.
"Don't die just because of me... I don't want our children to loose their father at a very young age... Tooya... you deserve more than this. I'll give you..." A glowing light appeared in Aya's hands as she touched Tooya. She handed him a sword... "Use it... I give you your powers back, for now and forever. I love you Tooya. Don't think that you made me cry... I cried because I loved you... I'll never forget you, even if I was born again."
"Tooya! Tooya!" A hazy voice said. "Tooya!"
"Ceres?" Tooya asked holding his sword.
"Tooya, Aya's been... Aya's dead!"