~**Garnet's POV**~
I sat in my room with only the pale light of the room to lighten it. I knew it would only be a matter of moments before someone would knock on my door to call me to my seat, but I have to leave before then. I had to think things through.
I got up and slowly walked to the door; my feet were guiding me with no specific destination in mind, but I gently pushed open the door when I reached it. Walking through the opening, I leaned against the other door beside it and patiently waited for the soft sound of my bedroom door shutting. I had no idea why I still stood there seconds after it closed, but at the time it made sense, so I waited.
The halls were quiet and barely lit since all of the excitement was on the floor below, and only the faint sounds of orders being given and the sound of my breathing flowed through my ears as I was still leaning against my chamber door.
It was all so quiet… The softest sound would break the golden silence, and I didn't want that. Too much was on my mind; there was too much I needed to think about…
*"Please stop crying, Dagger," he softly whispered into my ear as his tail wrapped itself around my waist. His arms encircled me and began to gently stroke my back. I rested my head on his bare chest and closed my eyes, secretly wishing that the tears would stop coming.
It was so cold in the room, but he was so warm. It would have made sense since I was lying down in drafty room, on a different planet, wearing the only thing that God gave me when I was born… which was nothing. But yet, it didn't matter because he was in the same conditions, and he was so warm.
He pulled me closer when I started to shiver and softly planted a kiss on my temple trying to soothe me. No one was around, but I didn't care… because I was with him…*
I lifted my head up, just in time to turn before I crashed into a wall. A cold breeze swept through the castle, and goose bumps quickly started to form on my arm. It took me awhile to realize what part of the castle I was in, for I was far from my room, and I was now in the place that me feet had taken me. I was still walking without thought reflecting on the only true moments that I felt safe and whole.
Damnit, I was doing it again! I told myself to stop remembering that, but I couldn't. Everything after that day became different and more important.
No one knew what happened that night until news got around that I was pregnant. The only person that I assumed knew was Eiko. I guess she must have heard me leave the room because the next day she gave me a knowing look that let me know she figured out where I went… and for what purposes.
I never talked about it with anyone because it was personal, but I never regretted it, not after seeing what came of it… Jade… I couldn't even imagine how Zidane would deal with it as soon as he found out about her. I wasn't even sure if he was still alive to know. It pained me to think that he was dead because I refused to believe it. Only when I could see that he was dead, with my own eyes, would I believe it.
Then again, I don't think I would be alive too long after that. I promised myself long ago that I didn't' want to live if he did not walk the planet like I do. I lived everyday hoping for his return.
*He kissed me on the lips briefly before looking straight into my eyes as if to see into my soul. He knew something was wrong; he just wanted to know what it was. I could only stare back as I trembled in his arms. It was scary to think that soon after this I might be somehow separated from him soon after finding ourselves in each other.
"They won't accept us, and you know it," I whispered with a shaky voice. For once, he knew what was wrong, and I could tell he was thinking about that as well.
"I don't care," he stated calmly as he brushed a loose strand of hair out of my eyes. He could tell I was confused by his statement. He simply kept staring into my eyes and he slowly caressed my cheek with his hand. "I don't care what they think. I really don't give a damn, Dagger. If they choose to not approve of us, then fine, let them be that way. But it won't make me stop wanting to see you, and it will never making me stop loving you…" He gave me a soft, assuring smile that made me feel slightly better.
"I won't stop loving you either, but I can't ignore the people's opinion. They won't like their queen marrying a thief," I softly replied, still lost in his gaze. Even though the subject was serious and important, I felt powerless staring at him. I could see in his eyes all the love in his heart exposed only to me.
And it was beautiful… He was beautiful…
"I know you care about your kingdom, and I won't make you choose sides, but god, for once ignore their opinions. What you say about it is above anything they can think of. You're the queen, and only you can choose your life, not them. If it really must come down to a choice, then stay with your duties, but if you're not allowed to accept me as a lover, then at least still accept me as a friend."
I only saw warmth and compassion in his eyes. He leaned down and gently planted kisses from my bare shoulder to my chin. I tilted my neck slightly to the side and basked in the moment. Even after the rough conversation, he still had his playful side making itself noticed. His tail uncoiled around my waist and tickled my face lightly with its short, soft hairs. This was the kind of moment I had been longing for all my life; I just didn't know it until now.
"Indeed. A very close friend," I laughed as I closed my eyes and leaned against him again. I stroked the fur on his tail lightly. He left out a dreamy sigh and looked up at the ceiling. He seemed content with his surroundings; probably because I was there to shoo away all his worries. I knew that a lot had to be on his mind after this long day. He found out why he was created, where he's from, who his creator was, what love was, and most importantly what he was.
I guess the fact that I still accepted him made him feel more comfortable. All the anger and frustration that was present earlier was now gone as I lay next to him. I was glad, too. I hated to see him feel that way and not know what to do about it. He almost pushed everything he held dear away. His friends, his family, his life, and even myself.
I didn't know what he was thinking about at the moment, but it must have been something peaceful. A slight smirk was on his face as his tail swished back and forth. His hand was still slowly and gently caressing my back as I rested on him. When he spoke, I was both startled and confused.
"Jade…" he quietly proclaimed. I looked at him with a puzzled face. He only looked back with a warm smile. The smile wasn't cryptic, but I still had no idea what he was talking about. When he finally explained, my face blushed a bright red.
"…If we ever have a daughter, I want her to be named Jade…"*
That was when the name had been decided, and I named her that just like he wanted me to. I was so happy with myself that I had fulfilled his request, but even her presence could not fill the gap that he had left in my heart. I was still drawn to him, and I never planned on pulling away. That was just something that I never saw myself doing.
I was now near the front of the castle where my mother portrait was. I sat down on the step in front of it and gazed down the stairs. Placing my chin in my hand, I left out a long sigh still reflecting on the past. I had given every part of me to him that day, and the memory of it just wouldn't die. I hung my head and tried to listen to the far off vices that were further down the hall.
I could tell that was dinner was ready to go right after the ply. Quina was doing a good job in the kitchen and was probably the best cook Alexandria has ever had. She/he was always the one to prepare the feast after the play every year after our adventures, and every year I was grateful.
I heard footsteps walk up behind me. I didn't bother to turn around because I knew it was Beatrix just by the way she walked. I knew I was going to be found, and this only meant one thing… The play was about to begin…
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~**Jade's POV About Thirty Minutes Earlier**~
"EIKO!" I cried out as I ran outside the castle gates. I had to talk to her before the play began. She promised! I couldn't believe that she forgot so easily! I heard from Beatrix that Eiko was outside, so I figured since I had some time before the play started I could still go see her. The only problem was, Eiko was no where to be found.
"Eiko!" I screamed again. My feet were going faster than I intended and I knew mother would get pretty upset if I ruin my dress and my shoes before the feast was over. She wanted me to be, "totally proper," as she put it. It didn't matter right now because I wanted to talk to Eiko, fast.
I started to run where there was less light. I could barely see, but I kept on running hoping that my judgment would lead me right to her. I was so busy looking for Eiko, that I guess I didn't see the cloaked figure walking in my direction. With a loud thud, I ran into him and fell on my side. Well, too bad for keeping the dress clean. I must have startled him because he let out a small gasp as he leaned over to help me up.
"I'm sorry!" the man stammered. I must have seriously caught him off guard. "I didn't see you coming and it was too late to move out of the way. I'm terribly sorry." He seemed sincere enough for me to believe him. I simply nodded and slowly stood up on my own. I placed my hand on my head to see if the crown was still there, but it wasn't. That was probably why he didn't know I was royalty. He spotted it on the ground before I did and gently placed it atop my head.
"You're… Princess Jade, I presume?" he asked. His voice was so soothing that when he said my name it made me blush. I couldn't see his face or his whole body for that matter because of the cloak. If he took it off, maybe I could see him better.
"Yes, I am her. Why are you here?" I didn't mean to sound as rude as I did, but I don't think the man picked up on it. He seemed to be in deep thought before realizing that I asked him a question.
"I'm here with Tantlantus to perform the play for you, Highness."
"I don't remember seeing you before in any of the other plays…"
"I'm the newest member, so I didn't really expect anyone to remember me." Something behind him moved under his cloak, but I didn't get to see what it was. I could see that he had blonde hair and green eyes like myself. He stared at me for so long that I was sure something was wrong with the way I looked. I shifted uneasily under his gaze and let out a soft cough to let him know that he was staring.
"Is there any reason why you're out here when the play's about to start?" I asked.
"Well, I was finished talking to Lady Eiko, so I decided to go out for a quick walk before I performed."
"You know her? I though you said no one here was supposed to remember you!"
"Well, she was the one that sort of, 'discovered' me, so to speak. I meant I don't expect anyone that I haven't seen in the past day to remember me such as friends, associates, even family." The way he said it seemed to be hinting at something I didn't understand.
"How can your own family not remember you?" A small smile appeared on his face. He seemed to be glad that I had engaged in conversation with him, especially on this topic. His look was cryptic and so were his words. Everything about him was a secret waiting to be unlocked.
"Well, I've been gone from Alexandria for a long time under circumstances that I couldn't avoid. I've wanted to see my wife and child for so long, but I couldn't leave where I was. I was trapped, almost in the literal sense. I was more than thrilled to do this play because it gave me a chance to see what I've missed all the years that I've been gone. Plus I love to act and perform for others. Don't you like to please others, especially your mother and father?" I winced at the word father. How was I going to explain this to a total stranger?
"I never really knew my father…" I began slowly. "… I was only told of stories about him from just about everyone in the castle. Everyone was very well spoken of him, but I just couldn't understand how everyone could think of someone so highly when all that came of it was me being a bastard child. My mother cries herself to sleep and denies the fact that he's dead. Everyone tells her that but she won't believe it, and it hurts me every time I watcher her cry… because of him… And I grew to hate him for it. If he never left her, things wouldn't be like this, and maybe I'd know more about him than what stories have to say…" My voice quieted down and I felt myself wanting to cry. I felt angry and sad because of my father. It felt so weird opening up to a total stranger, but I felt better. It was as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders.
The stranger's eyes were glossed over as if he was going to cry, but he didn't. "I think your mother has done a good job raising you. I also think it's good that she hasn't given up hope yet. Hearing you talk makes me wonder if my child thinks ill of me. You have to understand that people get pulled away from their loved ones and can't find a way back for a long time, but as long as they still have hope, everything will be ok."
"But Father should've been back by now! Where was he all my life when Mother needed him, when I needed him?!" I yelled at him. Tears slid past my eyelids and a quiet sob escaped past my lips.
"I know how you feel, and I can probably understand where your father is coming from. I'll tell you right now, if I could I would want to take back all the years I lost separated from my family. I missed them everyday. Did you know that I didn't know I even had a child until last year? Think of that. Not knowing another family member is waiting for you for years on end. It pained my ears when I heard about it." I didn't respond. I truthfully didn't know how to. "Don't give up hope in your father, ok? Be strong and I can guarantee if he's still alive, he loves you with all his heart."
It was then that the stranger embraced me with a warm hug. The strange thing was, I hugged him back. Talking to him let out all my stress and anger that I had built up for years, and it felt good. What also felt good was his hug.
For the first time in my life, I was hugged the same way every child I knew was. The way a father would hug his child…
I sat in my room with only the pale light of the room to lighten it. I knew it would only be a matter of moments before someone would knock on my door to call me to my seat, but I have to leave before then. I had to think things through.
I got up and slowly walked to the door; my feet were guiding me with no specific destination in mind, but I gently pushed open the door when I reached it. Walking through the opening, I leaned against the other door beside it and patiently waited for the soft sound of my bedroom door shutting. I had no idea why I still stood there seconds after it closed, but at the time it made sense, so I waited.
The halls were quiet and barely lit since all of the excitement was on the floor below, and only the faint sounds of orders being given and the sound of my breathing flowed through my ears as I was still leaning against my chamber door.
It was all so quiet… The softest sound would break the golden silence, and I didn't want that. Too much was on my mind; there was too much I needed to think about…
*"Please stop crying, Dagger," he softly whispered into my ear as his tail wrapped itself around my waist. His arms encircled me and began to gently stroke my back. I rested my head on his bare chest and closed my eyes, secretly wishing that the tears would stop coming.
It was so cold in the room, but he was so warm. It would have made sense since I was lying down in drafty room, on a different planet, wearing the only thing that God gave me when I was born… which was nothing. But yet, it didn't matter because he was in the same conditions, and he was so warm.
He pulled me closer when I started to shiver and softly planted a kiss on my temple trying to soothe me. No one was around, but I didn't care… because I was with him…*
I lifted my head up, just in time to turn before I crashed into a wall. A cold breeze swept through the castle, and goose bumps quickly started to form on my arm. It took me awhile to realize what part of the castle I was in, for I was far from my room, and I was now in the place that me feet had taken me. I was still walking without thought reflecting on the only true moments that I felt safe and whole.
Damnit, I was doing it again! I told myself to stop remembering that, but I couldn't. Everything after that day became different and more important.
No one knew what happened that night until news got around that I was pregnant. The only person that I assumed knew was Eiko. I guess she must have heard me leave the room because the next day she gave me a knowing look that let me know she figured out where I went… and for what purposes.
I never talked about it with anyone because it was personal, but I never regretted it, not after seeing what came of it… Jade… I couldn't even imagine how Zidane would deal with it as soon as he found out about her. I wasn't even sure if he was still alive to know. It pained me to think that he was dead because I refused to believe it. Only when I could see that he was dead, with my own eyes, would I believe it.
Then again, I don't think I would be alive too long after that. I promised myself long ago that I didn't' want to live if he did not walk the planet like I do. I lived everyday hoping for his return.
*He kissed me on the lips briefly before looking straight into my eyes as if to see into my soul. He knew something was wrong; he just wanted to know what it was. I could only stare back as I trembled in his arms. It was scary to think that soon after this I might be somehow separated from him soon after finding ourselves in each other.
"They won't accept us, and you know it," I whispered with a shaky voice. For once, he knew what was wrong, and I could tell he was thinking about that as well.
"I don't care," he stated calmly as he brushed a loose strand of hair out of my eyes. He could tell I was confused by his statement. He simply kept staring into my eyes and he slowly caressed my cheek with his hand. "I don't care what they think. I really don't give a damn, Dagger. If they choose to not approve of us, then fine, let them be that way. But it won't make me stop wanting to see you, and it will never making me stop loving you…" He gave me a soft, assuring smile that made me feel slightly better.
"I won't stop loving you either, but I can't ignore the people's opinion. They won't like their queen marrying a thief," I softly replied, still lost in his gaze. Even though the subject was serious and important, I felt powerless staring at him. I could see in his eyes all the love in his heart exposed only to me.
And it was beautiful… He was beautiful…
"I know you care about your kingdom, and I won't make you choose sides, but god, for once ignore their opinions. What you say about it is above anything they can think of. You're the queen, and only you can choose your life, not them. If it really must come down to a choice, then stay with your duties, but if you're not allowed to accept me as a lover, then at least still accept me as a friend."
I only saw warmth and compassion in his eyes. He leaned down and gently planted kisses from my bare shoulder to my chin. I tilted my neck slightly to the side and basked in the moment. Even after the rough conversation, he still had his playful side making itself noticed. His tail uncoiled around my waist and tickled my face lightly with its short, soft hairs. This was the kind of moment I had been longing for all my life; I just didn't know it until now.
"Indeed. A very close friend," I laughed as I closed my eyes and leaned against him again. I stroked the fur on his tail lightly. He left out a dreamy sigh and looked up at the ceiling. He seemed content with his surroundings; probably because I was there to shoo away all his worries. I knew that a lot had to be on his mind after this long day. He found out why he was created, where he's from, who his creator was, what love was, and most importantly what he was.
I guess the fact that I still accepted him made him feel more comfortable. All the anger and frustration that was present earlier was now gone as I lay next to him. I was glad, too. I hated to see him feel that way and not know what to do about it. He almost pushed everything he held dear away. His friends, his family, his life, and even myself.
I didn't know what he was thinking about at the moment, but it must have been something peaceful. A slight smirk was on his face as his tail swished back and forth. His hand was still slowly and gently caressing my back as I rested on him. When he spoke, I was both startled and confused.
"Jade…" he quietly proclaimed. I looked at him with a puzzled face. He only looked back with a warm smile. The smile wasn't cryptic, but I still had no idea what he was talking about. When he finally explained, my face blushed a bright red.
"…If we ever have a daughter, I want her to be named Jade…"*
That was when the name had been decided, and I named her that just like he wanted me to. I was so happy with myself that I had fulfilled his request, but even her presence could not fill the gap that he had left in my heart. I was still drawn to him, and I never planned on pulling away. That was just something that I never saw myself doing.
I was now near the front of the castle where my mother portrait was. I sat down on the step in front of it and gazed down the stairs. Placing my chin in my hand, I left out a long sigh still reflecting on the past. I had given every part of me to him that day, and the memory of it just wouldn't die. I hung my head and tried to listen to the far off vices that were further down the hall.
I could tell that was dinner was ready to go right after the ply. Quina was doing a good job in the kitchen and was probably the best cook Alexandria has ever had. She/he was always the one to prepare the feast after the play every year after our adventures, and every year I was grateful.
I heard footsteps walk up behind me. I didn't bother to turn around because I knew it was Beatrix just by the way she walked. I knew I was going to be found, and this only meant one thing… The play was about to begin…
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~**Jade's POV About Thirty Minutes Earlier**~
"EIKO!" I cried out as I ran outside the castle gates. I had to talk to her before the play began. She promised! I couldn't believe that she forgot so easily! I heard from Beatrix that Eiko was outside, so I figured since I had some time before the play started I could still go see her. The only problem was, Eiko was no where to be found.
"Eiko!" I screamed again. My feet were going faster than I intended and I knew mother would get pretty upset if I ruin my dress and my shoes before the feast was over. She wanted me to be, "totally proper," as she put it. It didn't matter right now because I wanted to talk to Eiko, fast.
I started to run where there was less light. I could barely see, but I kept on running hoping that my judgment would lead me right to her. I was so busy looking for Eiko, that I guess I didn't see the cloaked figure walking in my direction. With a loud thud, I ran into him and fell on my side. Well, too bad for keeping the dress clean. I must have startled him because he let out a small gasp as he leaned over to help me up.
"I'm sorry!" the man stammered. I must have seriously caught him off guard. "I didn't see you coming and it was too late to move out of the way. I'm terribly sorry." He seemed sincere enough for me to believe him. I simply nodded and slowly stood up on my own. I placed my hand on my head to see if the crown was still there, but it wasn't. That was probably why he didn't know I was royalty. He spotted it on the ground before I did and gently placed it atop my head.
"You're… Princess Jade, I presume?" he asked. His voice was so soothing that when he said my name it made me blush. I couldn't see his face or his whole body for that matter because of the cloak. If he took it off, maybe I could see him better.
"Yes, I am her. Why are you here?" I didn't mean to sound as rude as I did, but I don't think the man picked up on it. He seemed to be in deep thought before realizing that I asked him a question.
"I'm here with Tantlantus to perform the play for you, Highness."
"I don't remember seeing you before in any of the other plays…"
"I'm the newest member, so I didn't really expect anyone to remember me." Something behind him moved under his cloak, but I didn't get to see what it was. I could see that he had blonde hair and green eyes like myself. He stared at me for so long that I was sure something was wrong with the way I looked. I shifted uneasily under his gaze and let out a soft cough to let him know that he was staring.
"Is there any reason why you're out here when the play's about to start?" I asked.
"Well, I was finished talking to Lady Eiko, so I decided to go out for a quick walk before I performed."
"You know her? I though you said no one here was supposed to remember you!"
"Well, she was the one that sort of, 'discovered' me, so to speak. I meant I don't expect anyone that I haven't seen in the past day to remember me such as friends, associates, even family." The way he said it seemed to be hinting at something I didn't understand.
"How can your own family not remember you?" A small smile appeared on his face. He seemed to be glad that I had engaged in conversation with him, especially on this topic. His look was cryptic and so were his words. Everything about him was a secret waiting to be unlocked.
"Well, I've been gone from Alexandria for a long time under circumstances that I couldn't avoid. I've wanted to see my wife and child for so long, but I couldn't leave where I was. I was trapped, almost in the literal sense. I was more than thrilled to do this play because it gave me a chance to see what I've missed all the years that I've been gone. Plus I love to act and perform for others. Don't you like to please others, especially your mother and father?" I winced at the word father. How was I going to explain this to a total stranger?
"I never really knew my father…" I began slowly. "… I was only told of stories about him from just about everyone in the castle. Everyone was very well spoken of him, but I just couldn't understand how everyone could think of someone so highly when all that came of it was me being a bastard child. My mother cries herself to sleep and denies the fact that he's dead. Everyone tells her that but she won't believe it, and it hurts me every time I watcher her cry… because of him… And I grew to hate him for it. If he never left her, things wouldn't be like this, and maybe I'd know more about him than what stories have to say…" My voice quieted down and I felt myself wanting to cry. I felt angry and sad because of my father. It felt so weird opening up to a total stranger, but I felt better. It was as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders.
The stranger's eyes were glossed over as if he was going to cry, but he didn't. "I think your mother has done a good job raising you. I also think it's good that she hasn't given up hope yet. Hearing you talk makes me wonder if my child thinks ill of me. You have to understand that people get pulled away from their loved ones and can't find a way back for a long time, but as long as they still have hope, everything will be ok."
"But Father should've been back by now! Where was he all my life when Mother needed him, when I needed him?!" I yelled at him. Tears slid past my eyelids and a quiet sob escaped past my lips.
"I know how you feel, and I can probably understand where your father is coming from. I'll tell you right now, if I could I would want to take back all the years I lost separated from my family. I missed them everyday. Did you know that I didn't know I even had a child until last year? Think of that. Not knowing another family member is waiting for you for years on end. It pained my ears when I heard about it." I didn't respond. I truthfully didn't know how to. "Don't give up hope in your father, ok? Be strong and I can guarantee if he's still alive, he loves you with all his heart."
It was then that the stranger embraced me with a warm hug. The strange thing was, I hugged him back. Talking to him let out all my stress and anger that I had built up for years, and it felt good. What also felt good was his hug.
For the first time in my life, I was hugged the same way every child I knew was. The way a father would hug his child…