"Eureka!" Watari murmured to himself, having found just the right
combination of chemicals. . . he knew it had to be possible. . . and now?
Well now he just needed the perfect guinea pig. . . er. . . test subject.
Of course testing it on himself was out of the question. Absolutely not. A
scientist needed to remain objective and observe, and in the extremely
unlikely case something did go wrong. . . well he'd be needed to fix it
(though it was extremely unlikely after all).
Now. . . who was available, extremely gullible, and had a strong stomach (even though, as previously mentioned, it was extremely unlikely anything would go wrong, it never hurt to have the best specimen). He even had to ask himself?
************************************************************
"You want someone to help with an experiment?" Tatsumi asked incuriously as he continued to sort through papers.
"Hn." Nodded Watari in the affirmative.
"Well we haven't got any cases at the moment, and as long as the other person consents" Watari felt a trickle of sweat at this stipulation ". . . and it doesn't interfere with their ability to work. . . " Sweatdrop. "Or cause financial or statorial problems for the department. . . " Tatsumi stopped. "Please use Tsuzuki preferentially, he does the least amount of work anyway." Confided Tatsumi coming across a sheaf of paperwork in pink and yellow crayon which could only belong to the purple-eyed shinigami.
Both men left the office with the feeling of a personal victory.
************************************************************
"TSU~ZU~KI!" Watari whispered menacingly to the unconscious mass.
Hisoka watched on with a disgusted look on his face having tried unsuccessfully to coax his partner into doing some paper work - or at least wake-up, for the last few days.
"Waaa!! I'm sorry Tatsumi I couldn't find a pen!" Yelped puppy swiveling to grab the other mans collar in a display of desperation. "Oh. It's you Watari." With that he settled down to sleep some more.
Hisoka watched in wonder as Watari merely lifted puppy's ear and blew.
"Hanyaaan. . . " Chibi-Tsuzuki drawled happily. "I'm awake! I'm awake! What is it Watari?"
For future reference Hisoka made a mental note that where yelling and shaking had had no effect, blowing in his ear did. It would be pretty irritating if you were trying to sleep, he concluded. He'd have to try it himself next time.
"How would you like to help me with a little experiment?"
************************************************************
"What have I done. . . " Murmured Tatsumi to himself, as he saw Watari leading Tsuzuki down the hallway by the hand. ". . . like a lamb to the slaughter. . . "
"Chibichan! Chibichan!" Sang Tsuzuki to himself as he was lead down the hall with visions of all the sweets he'd be able to con form Saya and Yuma dancing in his head.
"Tsuzuki. . . that's not the experiment we're doing." Explained Watari for the umpteenth time.
"That's not the experiment we were doing then either!" Chirped Tsuzuki pleased with his own leap in logic.
'No mercy. . . ' Thought Watari bitterly.
************************************************************
"Tsuzuki! I've done it!" Watari exclaimed when they reached the lab, forgetting the slight of moments before in the excitement.
"Ehhh. . . ?"
"I've made it. . . my gender-modifying formula!"
"Ehhhhhh?!?!?!?"
"And you're going to be my first test subject!"
"EHHHHHH?!??!"
"All you need to do is. . . "
". . . .obviously you have mistaken the absolute horror in my voice at finding out the nature of this experiment for consent." Stated Tsuzuki in a rare moment of seriousness. "Iie!" Puppy stated blowing his tongue at Watari.
Mmm. Chocolate.
"Demo. . . I thought. . . "
"Iie!"
Well as long as he came all this way and there were snacks. . .
"I'll buy you. . . "
"Iie!"
"Why not?" Asked Watari genuinely surprised at his comrades' reluctance.
"It's a perversion of the way things should be! It's just not right!"
"Tsuzuki. . . I never knew you felt so strongly. . . "
"Because women give chocolate to men on Valentines Day so I must remain male!" Tsuzuki declared holding one fist to the heavens triumphantly.
Itadakimasu! Munch Munch.
"What are you eating?"
"Chocorat." Tsuzuki replied through a mouthful pointing toward the now empty plate.
"Ah. Well. It will be temporary. . . maybe one, two days at the most before it wears off."
"What wears off?" Asked Tsuzuki liking the chocolate from his fingers. Wait. . . something about Watari and chocolates. . .
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
************************************************************
"WA-KA-BA-chan!" Chimed Watari from the entrance to her office.
"Watari?"
"I have some thing very interesting you might like to see. . . " He giggled. Wakaba raised an eyebrow. ". . . and I need to borrow a few things. . . " he added conspiratorially.
Not being one to miss out on a good mystery Wakaba and Watari merrily skipped back to the lab.
************************************************************
"Oh my. . . it's better than I expected!" Commented Wakaba applying the last touches of mascara.
"Subarashii desu ne."
"Iie." Pouted Tsuzuki. "Hisoka will tease me."
"I doubt he'd even recognize you!" Beamed Wakaba.
Hisoka chose that exact moment to enter the lab.
Wakaba froze.
Watari froze.
The poor woman they had harangued into doing. . . well whatever it was they were doing froze.
"I thought. . . "
They all looked at him expectedly. He blushed under the scrutiny.
"I thought Tsuzuki was down here. . . sorry to bother. . . "
The woman burst into tears.
Hisoka scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. He was sure. . . somewhere. . .
"I can pass along a message if you like?" Offered Watari casually while Wakaba assented with a nod. Much too casually... considering the wailing from behind them.
"Alright." He mumbled defeatedly trying to get another look at their hostage and they stepped in front of him again grinning like idiots. "We have to report to Konoe immediately, I'll. . . keep looking now. . . somewhere else. . . far away from here." He finished nervously backing out.
"Kurosaki. . . have you seen Wakaba?" Whined Terazuma in the hall.
"She's with Watari." Hisoka replied absently as Terazuma stormed into the lab.
"WA! KA!. . . ba. . . ?" He managed to get out before losing control of his voice. Watari and Wakaba were engrossed in the bawling woman while 003 hopped excitedly up and down the length of the bench. All four looked around at his boisterous entrance with shocked looks on their faces. Not least the crying woman who.. had an awfully close resemblance to. . .
"Hajime-chan!" Wakaba gasped.
"Kannuki-chan. . . I'm having that bad dream again. . . " Terazuma whispered with an edge of fear in his voice.
"Eh. . . lets go get some coffee. . . ne Hajime-chan? Hajime-chan. . . ?" She waved a hand in front of her dazed partners' face.
". . . haiiii~" He mumbled weakly following his partner from the office.
Watari looked back at a smirking Tsuzuki, who immediately wiped the look from his face and replaced it with the miserable one.
"I can't go see Konoe like this. . . " Wailed Tsuzuki wiping his nose on the sleeve of Wakaba's jacket, while tugging on the matching mini skirt.
"Stop that Tsuzuki. . . you'll mess up your make-up!" Scolded Watari absently, only to receive a fresh bout of tears in reply. "I did kind of guarantee Tatsumi this experiment wouldn't affect your ability to work. . . "
"Tatsumi said you could do this?" Wailed Tsuzuki even louder now.
"There's only one way I can see around this!"
************************************************************
Konoe, Tatsumi and Hisoka looked up askance as Watari led the Meifu equivalent of the invisible man into the meeting room. Tsuzuki. . . if that even was him, was dressed in his usual trench coat buttoned all the way through, hat, sunglasses, scarf, gloves. . . and a fair number of bandages to cover anything else that was showing.
"Tsuzuki. . . ?" Deduced Tatsumi. "I presume you have not broken any of the terms we agreed to Watari."
"You! You DID let him do this!" Yelled Tsuzuki pointing an accusing finger. At least that's what it was supposed to be. Instead it came out through a number of layers as "Mff! Mff MFFF Mf Mf Mf!!!!"
"Eh. . . I assure you there's no reason Tsuzuki would be unable to do his job. . . "
"Mff! MFFFU!!!"
Hisoka slapped his hand against his forehead with the realization that things had, indeed, just gotten worse.
"Bon, take good care of Tsuzuki-chan on this mission! You should be able to remove the bandages by the time you get to Chijou so Tsuzuki can use his ofuda! Ja~~! *heart* "
"MFFMFFFmffffff mfffm ffu!!" Tsuzuki screamed at Watari's back as he left the room, Hisoka was quite convinced one gloved hand had flipped Watari the bird, and he didn't mean 003. He collapsed on the desk in defeat as Watari went out of range.
"Ah. . . Tsuzuki, since you missed the briefing, Hisoka will fill you on the mission when you get to Chijou."
"Mfffu."
************************************************************
"Tsuzuki!" Chided Hisoka. "Stay still!"
Tsuzuki just backed off away from Hisoka's hands which were reaching out to remove the bandages. "Stay still!" He demanded. "Watari said they could come off now!"
Tsuzuki just shook his head in protest.
"You can't leave them on! You look too weird like that! We're not supposed to raise attention! I bet you can't even use your ofuda in those. . . those. . . " Hisoka trailed off as the scarf finally came loose.
". . . well aren't you going to laugh?" Asked Tsuzuki miserably into the silence.
Hisoka was finding it very difficult to not ogle his partner who had fallen to the ground in the tussle. It wasn't that he wasn't normally attracted to Tsuzuki. . . just. . . more so.
"Baka! Whatever possessed you to let Watari do that?" Noticing tears starting to form in his.. her. . . Tsuzuki's eyes, he amended. "It's not so bad. . . I guess. . . like a disguise. . . " He rolled his eye's in exasperation.
"Honto desu?"
"Yeah. Just get up already, you're creating a scene!"
Having removed the bandages Tsuzuki stood up letting the trench coat hang open. "'Soka loves me no matter what I look like!" He cried happily glomping the boys arm.
"Baka. . . lets go. . . we have a lost soul to locate. . . . It IS only temporary. . . right?"
Now. . . who was available, extremely gullible, and had a strong stomach (even though, as previously mentioned, it was extremely unlikely anything would go wrong, it never hurt to have the best specimen). He even had to ask himself?
************************************************************
"You want someone to help with an experiment?" Tatsumi asked incuriously as he continued to sort through papers.
"Hn." Nodded Watari in the affirmative.
"Well we haven't got any cases at the moment, and as long as the other person consents" Watari felt a trickle of sweat at this stipulation ". . . and it doesn't interfere with their ability to work. . . " Sweatdrop. "Or cause financial or statorial problems for the department. . . " Tatsumi stopped. "Please use Tsuzuki preferentially, he does the least amount of work anyway." Confided Tatsumi coming across a sheaf of paperwork in pink and yellow crayon which could only belong to the purple-eyed shinigami.
Both men left the office with the feeling of a personal victory.
************************************************************
"TSU~ZU~KI!" Watari whispered menacingly to the unconscious mass.
Hisoka watched on with a disgusted look on his face having tried unsuccessfully to coax his partner into doing some paper work - or at least wake-up, for the last few days.
"Waaa!! I'm sorry Tatsumi I couldn't find a pen!" Yelped puppy swiveling to grab the other mans collar in a display of desperation. "Oh. It's you Watari." With that he settled down to sleep some more.
Hisoka watched in wonder as Watari merely lifted puppy's ear and blew.
"Hanyaaan. . . " Chibi-Tsuzuki drawled happily. "I'm awake! I'm awake! What is it Watari?"
For future reference Hisoka made a mental note that where yelling and shaking had had no effect, blowing in his ear did. It would be pretty irritating if you were trying to sleep, he concluded. He'd have to try it himself next time.
"How would you like to help me with a little experiment?"
************************************************************
"What have I done. . . " Murmured Tatsumi to himself, as he saw Watari leading Tsuzuki down the hallway by the hand. ". . . like a lamb to the slaughter. . . "
"Chibichan! Chibichan!" Sang Tsuzuki to himself as he was lead down the hall with visions of all the sweets he'd be able to con form Saya and Yuma dancing in his head.
"Tsuzuki. . . that's not the experiment we're doing." Explained Watari for the umpteenth time.
"That's not the experiment we were doing then either!" Chirped Tsuzuki pleased with his own leap in logic.
'No mercy. . . ' Thought Watari bitterly.
************************************************************
"Tsuzuki! I've done it!" Watari exclaimed when they reached the lab, forgetting the slight of moments before in the excitement.
"Ehhh. . . ?"
"I've made it. . . my gender-modifying formula!"
"Ehhhhhh?!?!?!?"
"And you're going to be my first test subject!"
"EHHHHHH?!??!"
"All you need to do is. . . "
". . . .obviously you have mistaken the absolute horror in my voice at finding out the nature of this experiment for consent." Stated Tsuzuki in a rare moment of seriousness. "Iie!" Puppy stated blowing his tongue at Watari.
Mmm. Chocolate.
"Demo. . . I thought. . . "
"Iie!"
Well as long as he came all this way and there were snacks. . .
"I'll buy you. . . "
"Iie!"
"Why not?" Asked Watari genuinely surprised at his comrades' reluctance.
"It's a perversion of the way things should be! It's just not right!"
"Tsuzuki. . . I never knew you felt so strongly. . . "
"Because women give chocolate to men on Valentines Day so I must remain male!" Tsuzuki declared holding one fist to the heavens triumphantly.
Itadakimasu! Munch Munch.
"What are you eating?"
"Chocorat." Tsuzuki replied through a mouthful pointing toward the now empty plate.
"Ah. Well. It will be temporary. . . maybe one, two days at the most before it wears off."
"What wears off?" Asked Tsuzuki liking the chocolate from his fingers. Wait. . . something about Watari and chocolates. . .
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
************************************************************
"WA-KA-BA-chan!" Chimed Watari from the entrance to her office.
"Watari?"
"I have some thing very interesting you might like to see. . . " He giggled. Wakaba raised an eyebrow. ". . . and I need to borrow a few things. . . " he added conspiratorially.
Not being one to miss out on a good mystery Wakaba and Watari merrily skipped back to the lab.
************************************************************
"Oh my. . . it's better than I expected!" Commented Wakaba applying the last touches of mascara.
"Subarashii desu ne."
"Iie." Pouted Tsuzuki. "Hisoka will tease me."
"I doubt he'd even recognize you!" Beamed Wakaba.
Hisoka chose that exact moment to enter the lab.
Wakaba froze.
Watari froze.
The poor woman they had harangued into doing. . . well whatever it was they were doing froze.
"I thought. . . "
They all looked at him expectedly. He blushed under the scrutiny.
"I thought Tsuzuki was down here. . . sorry to bother. . . "
The woman burst into tears.
Hisoka scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. He was sure. . . somewhere. . .
"I can pass along a message if you like?" Offered Watari casually while Wakaba assented with a nod. Much too casually... considering the wailing from behind them.
"Alright." He mumbled defeatedly trying to get another look at their hostage and they stepped in front of him again grinning like idiots. "We have to report to Konoe immediately, I'll. . . keep looking now. . . somewhere else. . . far away from here." He finished nervously backing out.
"Kurosaki. . . have you seen Wakaba?" Whined Terazuma in the hall.
"She's with Watari." Hisoka replied absently as Terazuma stormed into the lab.
"WA! KA!. . . ba. . . ?" He managed to get out before losing control of his voice. Watari and Wakaba were engrossed in the bawling woman while 003 hopped excitedly up and down the length of the bench. All four looked around at his boisterous entrance with shocked looks on their faces. Not least the crying woman who.. had an awfully close resemblance to. . .
"Hajime-chan!" Wakaba gasped.
"Kannuki-chan. . . I'm having that bad dream again. . . " Terazuma whispered with an edge of fear in his voice.
"Eh. . . lets go get some coffee. . . ne Hajime-chan? Hajime-chan. . . ?" She waved a hand in front of her dazed partners' face.
". . . haiiii~" He mumbled weakly following his partner from the office.
Watari looked back at a smirking Tsuzuki, who immediately wiped the look from his face and replaced it with the miserable one.
"I can't go see Konoe like this. . . " Wailed Tsuzuki wiping his nose on the sleeve of Wakaba's jacket, while tugging on the matching mini skirt.
"Stop that Tsuzuki. . . you'll mess up your make-up!" Scolded Watari absently, only to receive a fresh bout of tears in reply. "I did kind of guarantee Tatsumi this experiment wouldn't affect your ability to work. . . "
"Tatsumi said you could do this?" Wailed Tsuzuki even louder now.
"There's only one way I can see around this!"
************************************************************
Konoe, Tatsumi and Hisoka looked up askance as Watari led the Meifu equivalent of the invisible man into the meeting room. Tsuzuki. . . if that even was him, was dressed in his usual trench coat buttoned all the way through, hat, sunglasses, scarf, gloves. . . and a fair number of bandages to cover anything else that was showing.
"Tsuzuki. . . ?" Deduced Tatsumi. "I presume you have not broken any of the terms we agreed to Watari."
"You! You DID let him do this!" Yelled Tsuzuki pointing an accusing finger. At least that's what it was supposed to be. Instead it came out through a number of layers as "Mff! Mff MFFF Mf Mf Mf!!!!"
"Eh. . . I assure you there's no reason Tsuzuki would be unable to do his job. . . "
"Mff! MFFFU!!!"
Hisoka slapped his hand against his forehead with the realization that things had, indeed, just gotten worse.
"Bon, take good care of Tsuzuki-chan on this mission! You should be able to remove the bandages by the time you get to Chijou so Tsuzuki can use his ofuda! Ja~~! *heart* "
"MFFMFFFmffffff mfffm ffu!!" Tsuzuki screamed at Watari's back as he left the room, Hisoka was quite convinced one gloved hand had flipped Watari the bird, and he didn't mean 003. He collapsed on the desk in defeat as Watari went out of range.
"Ah. . . Tsuzuki, since you missed the briefing, Hisoka will fill you on the mission when you get to Chijou."
"Mfffu."
************************************************************
"Tsuzuki!" Chided Hisoka. "Stay still!"
Tsuzuki just backed off away from Hisoka's hands which were reaching out to remove the bandages. "Stay still!" He demanded. "Watari said they could come off now!"
Tsuzuki just shook his head in protest.
"You can't leave them on! You look too weird like that! We're not supposed to raise attention! I bet you can't even use your ofuda in those. . . those. . . " Hisoka trailed off as the scarf finally came loose.
". . . well aren't you going to laugh?" Asked Tsuzuki miserably into the silence.
Hisoka was finding it very difficult to not ogle his partner who had fallen to the ground in the tussle. It wasn't that he wasn't normally attracted to Tsuzuki. . . just. . . more so.
"Baka! Whatever possessed you to let Watari do that?" Noticing tears starting to form in his.. her. . . Tsuzuki's eyes, he amended. "It's not so bad. . . I guess. . . like a disguise. . . " He rolled his eye's in exasperation.
"Honto desu?"
"Yeah. Just get up already, you're creating a scene!"
Having removed the bandages Tsuzuki stood up letting the trench coat hang open. "'Soka loves me no matter what I look like!" He cried happily glomping the boys arm.
"Baka. . . lets go. . . we have a lost soul to locate. . . . It IS only temporary. . . right?"