AN EPILOGUE! (maybe 1 of 2 - 'cos this story was way fun to write ^_^)
Tatsumi could tolerate many things.
The man had single handedly created more work for the division than any other phenomena since. . . well . . . since Tsuzuki last blew up a library.
Tatsumi stole a quick glance at the 'Employee of the Month' plaques on the wall (Wakaba's idea) showing eight identical pictures of Hisoka (only employee to hand in paperwork on time/at all/of a readable quality) and one picture of Terazuma (well there never had been a plausible excuse for that pair of Italian leather pumps).
Muraki had tortured and killed and tortured again (repeatedly) one of Tatsumi's valued employee's. Admittedly the original death had been necessary for Hisoka to become an employee, however that wasn't the point. The point was he could have tolerated this abuse of an employee with all the grace of indifference.
Muraki's amorous advances on Tsuzuki, which Tatsumi continued his property were tolerated. Unofficially, this may have been largely in part to the fact that Tsuzuki required. . . ehm. . . comforting after such an incident (which Tatsumi was more than happy to provide). Officially this was because it was outside of the divisions jurisdiction to actively hunt the cause of stray souls - sure take care of them if they popped up during the mission, but go no further. It had always struck Tatsumi as a little uneconomical to not finish off the cause of their problems while they could, but then who was he to play EnmaDaioh?
These things he could turn a blind eye to (as long as Muraki stayed within the bounds of the 'look but don't touch' principle anyway).
But this! This was personal.
****************** * * * * * * * * * * *
"Kurosaki! Tsuzuki!"
Tatsumi blinked in the normal course of blinks, that is to say, on average one blinks every six seconds, and Tatsumi was due. For that fraction of a second his vision was lost, however he could have sworn when he entered the office the duo shared, Hisoka had had a shocked fretting Tsuzuki pinned against his desk and . . . He looked from the somewhat dazed and confused Tsuzuki (not unusual) to the cold and irritated Hisoka (also not unusual) sitting at his own desk some number of meters away.
"Is there something you wanted, Tatsumi-san?" Asked Hisoka innocently enough, glancing up from some paperwork.
"Eto . . . " Tatsumi managed. He rubbed his eye's to remove the offensive afterimage of what MUST have been a hallucination.
"Tatsumi. . . please. . . don't leave me. . . alone with. . . " managed Tsuzuki weekly before Hisoka pounced slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Ahahha!" Laughed Hisoka with just an itty-bitty hint of insanity. "Gee Tsuzuki, paperwork isn't that bad!" Sweatdrop. "I'll even help you later!" Sweatdrop. Glance at Tatsumi to see if he buys it. Nervous twitch.
". . . won't . . . let me sleep. . . "
"You can sleep when you finish all your forms." Pushed Hisoka. "Yes forms. . . lots of forms!"
". . yes sir. . ." Squeaked Tsuzuki when the 'comradely' hand Hisoka placed on Tsuzuki's back slowly started to move down in what might have been mistaken as a comforting gesture (if one happened to be raised in a Brothel in Bangkok for instance).
"Actually. . . I wanted to talk to you about the reports from your last mission."
Tatsumi frowned. He didn't know exactly how Hisoka had gotten Tsuzuki to do paperwork but he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was more concerned about the hand that was currently crossing the border and heading south. . .
/blink/
. . . and that sucker got all the way to Acapulco before reappearing benignly on Tsuzuki's shoulder again.
". . . the. . . the reports. . ." Managed Tatsumi wiping furiously at his eyes for the second time.
"Yes? The reports?" Asked Hisoka who had reappeared at his desk. When had the boy mastered teleportation anyway? Reminded he was here not just on business but company time, Tatsumi regained his usual bearing.
"Perhaps you might know why I just received a hospital bill from one Muraki Kazutaka Sensei?" Tsuzuki's facefault was audible and ongoing (due to the way he was currently banging his head on his desk). "If I didn't know any better, I would think you both (well three really if you count Watari's involvement) I might think you were trying to hide something." Tatsumi homed in on the weak link of the two, who was cowering under his desk with a confession on his lips.
"Aa. We did see him." Admitted Hisoka, "But his presence there wasn't related to the case so we didn't bother to mention it in the reports."
Smooth. Way too smooth for someone who supposedly really, really hated the guy. Tatsumi turned to confront the boy who produced a form filled out with his perfect Kanji. Rustling though a pile of papers he produced one of Tsuzuki's and placed it along side so Tatsumi could get the full impact of the juxtaposition.
Tatsumi wavered.
". . . I suppose I could overlook it this time." Murmured Tatsumi in a trance.
"I thought you might." Replied Hisoka who was busy molesting Tsuzuki behind Tatsumi's back.
************ * * * * * * *
"You don't have to do that anymore." Stated Watari morosely, referring to Tsuzuki's bento that looked like a gushonin for all the white ofuda stuck on it to prevent 'tampering'.
This was a relief to Tsuzuki who had found most of his lunch break gone before he removed the majority of the kekkai.
Watari had in fact discarded the idea of slipping the potion to Tsuzuki. This was in part due to the devastating effect on his psyche of having to see Konoe with breasts after Watari had spiked Tsuzuki's danish, only to have it confiscated at a staff meeting.
The secondary consideration was Konoe's edict forbidding anymore non- consensual experimentation in the work place- life was cruel.
Tsuzuki looked skeptical.
Of course Konoe hadn't said anything about non-consensual experimentation **outside** the workplace.
Tsuzuki shivered at the first rift of Watari's maniacal laughter. By the second he had fled.
*********** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tatsumi could tolerate many things.
The man had single handedly created more work for the division than any other phenomena since. . . well . . . since Tsuzuki last blew up a library.
Tatsumi stole a quick glance at the 'Employee of the Month' plaques on the wall (Wakaba's idea) showing eight identical pictures of Hisoka (only employee to hand in paperwork on time/at all/of a readable quality) and one picture of Terazuma (well there never had been a plausible excuse for that pair of Italian leather pumps).
Muraki had tortured and killed and tortured again (repeatedly) one of Tatsumi's valued employee's. Admittedly the original death had been necessary for Hisoka to become an employee, however that wasn't the point. The point was he could have tolerated this abuse of an employee with all the grace of indifference.
Muraki's amorous advances on Tsuzuki, which Tatsumi continued his property were tolerated. Unofficially, this may have been largely in part to the fact that Tsuzuki required. . . ehm. . . comforting after such an incident (which Tatsumi was more than happy to provide). Officially this was because it was outside of the divisions jurisdiction to actively hunt the cause of stray souls - sure take care of them if they popped up during the mission, but go no further. It had always struck Tatsumi as a little uneconomical to not finish off the cause of their problems while they could, but then who was he to play EnmaDaioh?
These things he could turn a blind eye to (as long as Muraki stayed within the bounds of the 'look but don't touch' principle anyway).
But this! This was personal.
****************** * * * * * * * * * * *
"Kurosaki! Tsuzuki!"
Tatsumi blinked in the normal course of blinks, that is to say, on average one blinks every six seconds, and Tatsumi was due. For that fraction of a second his vision was lost, however he could have sworn when he entered the office the duo shared, Hisoka had had a shocked fretting Tsuzuki pinned against his desk and . . . He looked from the somewhat dazed and confused Tsuzuki (not unusual) to the cold and irritated Hisoka (also not unusual) sitting at his own desk some number of meters away.
"Is there something you wanted, Tatsumi-san?" Asked Hisoka innocently enough, glancing up from some paperwork.
"Eto . . . " Tatsumi managed. He rubbed his eye's to remove the offensive afterimage of what MUST have been a hallucination.
"Tatsumi. . . please. . . don't leave me. . . alone with. . . " managed Tsuzuki weekly before Hisoka pounced slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Ahahha!" Laughed Hisoka with just an itty-bitty hint of insanity. "Gee Tsuzuki, paperwork isn't that bad!" Sweatdrop. "I'll even help you later!" Sweatdrop. Glance at Tatsumi to see if he buys it. Nervous twitch.
". . . won't . . . let me sleep. . . "
"You can sleep when you finish all your forms." Pushed Hisoka. "Yes forms. . . lots of forms!"
". . yes sir. . ." Squeaked Tsuzuki when the 'comradely' hand Hisoka placed on Tsuzuki's back slowly started to move down in what might have been mistaken as a comforting gesture (if one happened to be raised in a Brothel in Bangkok for instance).
"Actually. . . I wanted to talk to you about the reports from your last mission."
Tatsumi frowned. He didn't know exactly how Hisoka had gotten Tsuzuki to do paperwork but he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was more concerned about the hand that was currently crossing the border and heading south. . .
/blink/
. . . and that sucker got all the way to Acapulco before reappearing benignly on Tsuzuki's shoulder again.
". . . the. . . the reports. . ." Managed Tatsumi wiping furiously at his eyes for the second time.
"Yes? The reports?" Asked Hisoka who had reappeared at his desk. When had the boy mastered teleportation anyway? Reminded he was here not just on business but company time, Tatsumi regained his usual bearing.
"Perhaps you might know why I just received a hospital bill from one Muraki Kazutaka Sensei?" Tsuzuki's facefault was audible and ongoing (due to the way he was currently banging his head on his desk). "If I didn't know any better, I would think you both (well three really if you count Watari's involvement) I might think you were trying to hide something." Tatsumi homed in on the weak link of the two, who was cowering under his desk with a confession on his lips.
"Aa. We did see him." Admitted Hisoka, "But his presence there wasn't related to the case so we didn't bother to mention it in the reports."
Smooth. Way too smooth for someone who supposedly really, really hated the guy. Tatsumi turned to confront the boy who produced a form filled out with his perfect Kanji. Rustling though a pile of papers he produced one of Tsuzuki's and placed it along side so Tatsumi could get the full impact of the juxtaposition.
Tatsumi wavered.
". . . I suppose I could overlook it this time." Murmured Tatsumi in a trance.
"I thought you might." Replied Hisoka who was busy molesting Tsuzuki behind Tatsumi's back.
************ * * * * * * *
"You don't have to do that anymore." Stated Watari morosely, referring to Tsuzuki's bento that looked like a gushonin for all the white ofuda stuck on it to prevent 'tampering'.
This was a relief to Tsuzuki who had found most of his lunch break gone before he removed the majority of the kekkai.
Watari had in fact discarded the idea of slipping the potion to Tsuzuki. This was in part due to the devastating effect on his psyche of having to see Konoe with breasts after Watari had spiked Tsuzuki's danish, only to have it confiscated at a staff meeting.
The secondary consideration was Konoe's edict forbidding anymore non- consensual experimentation in the work place- life was cruel.
Tsuzuki looked skeptical.
Of course Konoe hadn't said anything about non-consensual experimentation **outside** the workplace.
Tsuzuki shivered at the first rift of Watari's maniacal laughter. By the second he had fled.
*********** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *